Well, this relationship is probably over. And it's probably going down in flames. There are some things you just can't unsee.
What would your reaction be if you walked in on your spouse cheating on you? Caught in the act?
Here were some of the answers.
Had a really close group of friends who would always prank each other. One of my mates found out the Facebook password of another, so while on Skype the whole call - included myself, logged into his Facebook account (being 7 people) to make a stupid status. At the same time my partner of 5 years was messaging him on Facebook about how good sex was last night and about meeting up again.
College girlfriend and we lived together for a year after I realized she would always have her phone on silent or just plain ignore calls from "Jennifer." One day I write down the number and call it a week later. It ends up being her other boyfriend who she had never broken up with before she came to college. Neither of us knew about each other and she had being visiting him when she went home to see her parents on some weekends and breaks. Broke up soon after and her mom said that sometimes you just have to accept things and how I owed her an apology for breaking up with her. It gets worse but that was the gist.
Walked in on my girlfriend while she was having sex with another guy. "What are you doing here?!" she says. "You gave me a key, remember? I ended up not working today and wanted to surprise you."
15 years later she reaches out, leaves me a message that she'd like to talk. I figure she's doing some 12-step thing or something and wants to make amends.
Nope. She wanted to try and sell me on Amway.
Came home early. They were fast enough to get dressed but not in a natural state of being, if that makes sense. It was obvious something was just going down. Very cliched "got walked in on and tried to play it cool" like you see in tv. I asked him to leave and he did.
We argued, she tried to lie but soon confessed. It wasn't the first time she cheated but it was the first time that I caught her in the act. Everything in the past was just texts and stuff. She said that she never slept with the other people and it was just pics and flirting. In retrospect, that may not be BS.
We divorced, both remarried. Not friends by any stretch, but civil.
A Terrible Homecoming
Mt St Augustine erupted in Alaska in 1986. They had to evacuate all planes out of Elmendorf AFB due to ash in the air. This sent my unit home from Korea 3 days early. I got home at 2 AM and there was a guy sleeping next to my wife in our bed.
Life Ruiners (They Ruin Peoples' Lives)
Not me but a medical resident who I met on rotation recently. One of the nicest guy I ever met, super intelligent and hardworking, and training to be a trauma surgeon by humble as they come. He had been married for 2 years to his wife. One night he gets off a 30 hour call early and heads home to surprise his wife with some flowers and her favorite dessert (it was the anniversary of the day they first met). Only to find her in bed with a random dude.
He was so exhausted and confused, he didn't know what to do and just left and went back to the hospital. I saw him at 5AM, sitting in the parking lot, hunched over crying. He didn't even have his phone with him, he was just sitting there. Man, nothing breaks your heart more than seeing a grown man cry, it's not something you see often. We called his dad up and he came and picked him up, the guy ended up taking a leave from his residency. Turns out, it wasn't the wife's first time sleeping around. Hope he gets back on his feet, he will make an amazing physician.
Hell Probably Hurts Less
Long story short, I suspected something for a few months. Like an idiot, I opened her phone while she was asleep and found exactly what I was looking for, like you always do when searching through someone else's phone. Even with all of the texts right there to see she still lied about it multiple times. She eventually admitted to it but downplayed it heavily.
She told me about two nights ago that he asked her out on a date and she said "I had to say no" and was visibly sad about it.
In the process of getting a divorce now. Hurts like hell.
Some News I Should Like To Know
Me and my girlfriend were long distance and she had a habit of going quiet sometimes. She'd been texting me for the last few weeks but had made excuses not to come visit.
I went to a party that my friend had organised. I met a friend of his who told me he had a new girlfriend. I was surprised he hadn't mentioned her, so I asked who she was. This lady introduced me to my girlfriend. She'd told everyone that we broke up, and had been dating my friend for about a month. She didn't bother to tell me.
Dating this girl a few years back and I became really good friends with her brother just because he appreciated my help during a difficult time for their family (their father had abruptly passed away).
2 years into the relationship the brother contacts me and asks to meet up for coffee and a serious conversation.
Apparently HE caught his own sister with another guy (mutual friend of ours) and this sh*t had been going on for like a year.
As soon as he found out, I was told.
Broke up with her. Still friends with her brother. Go figure.
A Good Moral To The Story
Things had been a little shaky as I was working a lot and felt sapped when she wanted to go be social with friends so I often stayed home.
I wanted to do something nice for her for Valentines day so I sent her friend a text asking if there was something that she may have mentioned she would like to do. As I was waiting on that text I was in another room I saw her phone buzz with her friend's name. The number was below the name and since I had just sent her a text I knew they didn't match.
There are very few times my blood has been that cold and feelings of dread.
I called the number with my phone and it rang and rang before going to voicemail. Needless to say it was the other guy.
I confronted her about it and she said she was waiting to leave and had a bag packed in case I found out. She had no intentions of trying to work things out so a month later she had moved out.
I made a decision then that I could be broken up and miserable or that I could choose to be happy and be open to a relationship if it was available. I've since remarried and have two beautiful boys with my amazing wife.
Regardless of the sh*ttiness and horror in these stories there is always the opportunity to be happy. If you're reading this thread because it happened to you or just from morbid curiosity : choose to be happy. Be the person that you can be proud of and move on to better things.
A Party Divided
Not mine but my brother. He was at a small party with two friends and his wife. He got tired and wanted to head home. His wife stayed behind, she gave some lame excuse and begged off going with him. It was alright, he thought. His best buddy was there and would make sure she got home safe for him.
He got in his car. Pulled out of the driveway. Before he could get on down the block he checked his rear view and noticed the room in the house they were all in had gone dark.
He'd suspected for a time something was up with her. They had a child together. She died at the sitter. It was ruled SIDS. She had grown colder in the months after the baby died. He never really thought anything like what he was about to see was actually possible. It was more a deep seated feeling that something was up but she never let him in and they didn't work through the loss together. Seeing the lights out crystalized the situation for him, and he turned right around.
The house was dark. The front door was still unlocked. He walked right in and to the only room with any light. He opened the door to find his best friend and another "acquaintance" double teaming his soon to be ex.
He hasn't really been the same since...
I met this girl who was working the late shift at a drug store. We'd flirted a few times, eventually exchanged numbers, and started sleeping together. After a few weeks, she invited me to go drinking at this crappy little bar she liked in the north side of the city. So we spend the night dancing together, drinking, and talking to people she knows. Eventually a guy comes up to me, saying, "Great to meet you finally! Congratulations on the engagement!"
"What are you talking about?!", I replied, laughing as I choked on my drink a bit.
Guy gives me a quizzical look, and says, "You're here with Corrie. It's Paul, right!?"
I raised an eye brow and pointed a thumb to my chest, stating, "Nah man, name's Kyle." We stared at each other, watching each other realize what was playing out on this faithful night.
Corrie was engaged to a guy named Paul, I was the other guy. Paul worked out of town for weeks at a time.
It was actually interesting, how you literally could see the word travel around the small bar, drastically changing the vibe in the room. We left shortly after.
She brought me, the guy she was cheating on her fiance with, to her favourite bar. She brought me to a place full of friends that at least knew her well enough to know she was engaged to a guy named Paul, not Kyle.
Messed up stuff. Didn't see her again after that.
According to Facebook, Paul and Corrie are currently married.
Okay so my ex was having computer problems and wanted to go on Facebook on my phone. No problem but I made her use safari so I wouldn't have to log out of the app. Anyways couple days later I'm closing tabs on my phone and there is her Facebook still open. Well I see she's chatting with her ex John. Turns out they banged in our bed and were gunna go out on a date soon.
So in the messages he asked she "wear something nice" in the messages. I'm not the jealous type so I leave it for a couple days. Couple days go by and she wants to have sex... well we are kissing and getting hot and heavy. I whisper in her ear "don't forget John wants you to wear something nice on your date Saturday"
The look of horror in her eyes was magical.
I put my shirt on and start walking out as she's crying and saying she's sorry.
Didn't happen to me, but my closest friend growing up. He was making out with his girlfriend in the back of her car (which at the time she had only had for a week) and he put his hand on the back of the car somewhere between the back of the head rests and the rear windshield. I guess the opposite of a dash board? Anyways he put his hand in a semi-fresh load of jizz. And her answer was that her gum must have flew from her mouth and land back their and the sun melted it into a jizz like substance!
Was on a very rare date night, kids at the grandparents house. I'm looking extra cute so didn't even want to carry a purse or my cell. Used his phone on the way to the restaurant to confirm our reservations. After eating, used his phone again to get the movie times via text. Saw a name in the frequently sent, asked him innocently "Who is Lisa?" He snatched the phone and said "my coworker." FF 3 hours later and I'm throwing his clothes into his car after going online and viewing the hundreds of text sent to several women.
But still, I was a fool for love and opted to stay. I was with him my entire adult life so I didn't know anything different. That was 2006. We had our 19th anniversary in January. My divorce was final in March. He got married to ANOTHER one of his many affairs in June. I'm enjoying being unattached and becoming an empty nester as of this fall.
A Happy Ending
Throwaway account, only because I find this story a bit too weird--even for me.
One time my husband thought he had caught me cheating on him.
I'm a full time artist and do pretty well for myself. Most of my paintings are on the weird and surreal side, so when I'm experiencing a creative block I do some pretty weird s***. My husband and I are childhood sweethearts so he's seen it all.
I was nearing the end of my deadline for a gallery series and I was STRESSED. My husband was nervous leaving me alone for a week, but he had a business conference that he couldn't miss. Around day 2 I ran to the supermarket to buy a pack of condoms and cheap barbies. I scalped and maimed the barbies and stuffed as much of it in the condom as possible The result was interesting (I'll probably paint it someday in the future) and somehow motivated me enough to finish the remaining paintings in the series. I throw the few condoms I'd used away and boxed the remaining with my art supplies. Didn't bother to think any further on it.
*Cut to 5 days later*
Husband comes home: I'm making dinner while he showers. He turns the water on, promptly turns it off, comes downstairs looking white as a ghost and walks out of the house without a word. I'm freaked out and go after him, but he's already gone with the car. I'm blowing up his phone but he won't answer me.
Trying not to freak out too much. I decide that maybe I'm overreacting, and just let it go for a few hours.
Still no response.
I reach out to some family and they haven't heard from him either.
I spend a sleepless night debating what to do next.
Early morning my husband comes home looking like shit and reeking of alcohol. He goes off at me. Screaming and cursing. I've never seen him like this. I'm trying to calm him down to figure out wtf is happening, but he won't let me talk. He's going on until he finally uses the word "cheating". Aaaaand it clicks.
He found the condoms.
I use the typical, "it's not what it looks like" response so he decides to calm down and humor me.
Go to my studio and pull out the sketches I'd done of the barbies in the condoms to show to him. He's giving me a strong *WTF is wrong with you* look, but is calming down. Still not really believing me. So I ask him if the condoms even had fluid in them. Calming down even more. I grab the poor maimed barbies, and he breaks out in laughter before he begins to tear up.
I love this man to pieces and it broke my heart that he had been so torn up thinking I'd slept with another man. This whole thing happened 2 years ago. Now we just laugh at the whole thing. It took a little while for him to get back to normal. I'm sure he still thought something might be up, but he eventually just settled with the fact that he married someone who's weird AF. We're still going strong.
Our interactions with strangers can be pleasant – whether it's a fellow customer at a store smiling at us or talking sports or other mutual interests with a friendly bartender.
But then there are those who you just can't figure out but engage in a conversation with anyway until something in your gut tells you to abort.
Whether it's an ominous situation or a mysterious individual, your instincts telling you something is not right is usually accurate and what happens next depends on whether or not you act on what your inner voice tells you.
"What is Your Best 'I'm in Danger' Story?
These predicaments could have resulted in severe consequences. Or not.
"Driving through jasper on our way to leduc when my dad saw a family on the side of the road looking off into the bush off the side of the road. So we pull over and walk over to ask if they need any help. They say that they saw a bear in there and were throwing rocks at it to get it to come out so they could take pictures. My dad told us to get back to the car and we sped off down the highway. To this day i wonder what happened to those idiots."
"Not me, but a really close friend was going through flight school and they were going through emergency procedures and the instructor asked something along the lines of."
"What would you do if you noticed the power was lost?"
"And at that very moment, the aircraft lost power and my buddy said 'Well that's a neat trick and makes it feel real.' To which the instructor said 'No, that's not me. This is real.' Apparently, my buddy giggled and said 'oh no.'"
"And then they had to crash into the gulf and he swam away."
"I can't think of a better example than that."
The Thing In The Bushes
"When I was about 5-6, my mom and her best friend took us kids out huckleberry picking. We brought a battery power radio so we were making noise and would not startle any wildlife. We were all kind of spread out around these wild berry bushes. The adults heard this snorting, stomping, and sounds of a large animal moving through the dense overgrown areas coming towards us. They freaked out, screaming for us kids to run to them so we could run to the truck together. Moms friend threw her FULL bucket of huckleberries (5 gallon bucket, took all day to fill) at whatever was coming, hoping to distract it..."
"It was a cow."
You never know what strangers are capable of, especially where drugs are involved.
Sacrifice For The Devil
"I used to work in a group home. I was working a night shift and one of the residents was pacing by his room. I asked him what he was doing, he went into his room quickly. I assumed he was on meth since that's what he liked doing. Thought not much of it until a few hours goes by. I go to get some water and heat up my food, and he is standing in the hallway. Again, I ask him how he's doing and try to check in with him. This guy starts speaking in some made-up language in a loud whisper (think Harry Potter talking to the basalisk). He then takes like 4 steps slowly toward me then stops. He says 'I can't stop him forever.'"
"I call police for his and the the safety of the house."
"Police show up and talk to him for a bit in private. One officer comes back to my office and says 'yeeeah, he's not himself right now. Said the date was May 50, 2100.' It was January... and 2015. They took him away. They also found and took a pocket knife off of him and gave it to me for safekeeping."
"Now if that wasn't already messed up, I went back on the security footage and I saw him stand outside of my office door (outside my view) for like 30 minutes without me realizing. Standing still, like in paranormal activity."
"I checked the camera from when he was speaking the weird language, and he was standing there for like 20 minutes heavy breathing before I walked by."
"2 weeks goes by and he's released from the hospital sober and mentally present again. He decided to move out of the house. He came by to grab his stuff, and pulled me aside to apologize. I forgave him and tried to brush it off. Buddy looks me in the eyes and said that he was planning on killing me that night for a blood sacrafice since he was seeing some crazy stuff and he believed a demon was controlling him, but the police ruined his plan."
"I kept the knife as a morbid souvenir."
The following people these Redditors engaged with were very suspect. No drugs were apparently involved, but they were apparently quite mental.
"So, just for context, I'm Scottish. I was on Holiday in Durham and it was late afternoon. We just arrived and we were going to visit the Cathedral."
"So these lads (likely students, they were obviously on a night out or something) came up to me and were like 'hey do you know how to get to so-and-so street' and I was like 'sorry, I'm not from here.' Suddenly the guy got mad and was all 'are you Irish, ARE YOU IRISH?!' And I was like 'No I'm Scottish' (but I was sure I was going to get beaten up because, let's be honest, if he's like this to someone who's Irish then he'll not exactly be hunky Dory with Scots), but when I said that his demenor did a 180 and he was all 'oh right, you're cool, sorry to bother you' and walked off."
"And that's the story of when I was nearly hatecrimed because someone thought I was Irish."
"Went out for a drink with a pretty girl I got talking to on a bus. She was a bit awkward, but seemed kinda fun. She kept talking about her roommate, and the crazy hi-jinks they got up to. She even joked that we would have a threesome if I went back to her place."
"We went back to hers... at which point I found out that her roommate was a barbie doll that she talked to like it was a real person. Her place clearly hadn't been cleaned for years, and the toilet was full of green 'matter.'"
"The final straw for me was when I stepped on her cat's corpse..."
Not The Basement
"Couple of years ago I was picking up a chair I had bought from craigslist. I drove to this guys house and got a creepy vibe instantly when I stepped inside, for reasons I can't really understand to this day. After a minute or so of small talk, where he was mostly busy staring at me and not completely focused on the conversation, he asked me to follow him down to the basement where the chair supposedly was. As he went for the staircase he raised the volume of the music playing to a level that was distinctly louder than normal."
"I noped the f'k out and went straight home again."
In middle school, I was not a popular kid. So it surprised me when my fellow classmates who were viewed as "popular" actually engaged in a conversation with me during lunch when I was sitting by myself.
They asked me what my favorite food was and what TV shows I watched. I genuinely thought they were interested in me, but I was also skeptical about their forced friendliness.
My suspicions were confirmed when, in my peripheral vision, I saw their buddies dragging a trashcan over towards me.
I blurted, "gotta go!" and I darted. Those jerks were going to throw me in the garbage!
Chocolate milk hair and spaghetti sauce-drenched shirt was avoided that day, thanks to my gut instincts. Damn bullies.
Deciding to foster a child, while clearly admirable, is the furthest thing from a no-brainer. So much consideration must go into the decision to provide safety and security to a child who hasn't always had it.
Nobody has ever left a thriving, trauma-free family dynamic and found themselves suddenly plopped into the foster care system.
A child arrives there because the adults in their lives have struggled to give them what they need, be that love, nutrition, physical safety, or stable emotional environments.
So a foster parent enters a child's narrative a little after the fact. That can make the whole experience a real challenge.
Curious to learn the specifics of those challenges, Redditor RaeRai293 asked:
"People who are or have been in the foster system: What would you say to someone who is considering becoming a foster parent?"
Many people unpacked the nuanced dynamics of a well-known element of foster care: children arrive with a history of trauma.
"I had a friend growing in up whose biological parents were foster parents. I remember that when I went round I wasn't allowed alone with certain children there. We are still friends now and said that alot of children are from abusive families, physically, mentally."
"So you need to be prepared to receive children that have experienced horrific things in their life and the baggage that brings."
You Will Not Be Perfect
"Take care of yourself. You are not a superhero. If you don't remember self care (mental, emotional & physical), you will struggle."
"You cannot give from an empty cup and foster kids will drain you. They are suffering from trauma and you will feel that. Don't ignore your needs or they will suffer more."
Prepare for Some Sorrow
"It can be extremely heartbreaking. My aunt and uncle fostered a few kids. The 2 youngest girls were i believe 6 and 4 when they took them in. Their birth mother was an addict and sex worker."
"I remember once we had planned a camping trip."
"When we told them we were going camping they started hysterically crying. I later found out to them 'camping' was sleeping out in the streets."
Coming on the back of those upsetting realities, the foster parent's conduct and parenting style needs to be very deliberate.
"Regardless of how long the kid stays with you, they will remember how you treat them. Be patient, many may not understand what is happening at first. Most will be angry but even if they upset you don't let it show."
It's Not About Your Opinion
"Have lots of empathy for everyone involved. Put aside your judgments and listen. Figure out how you can best serve the kids. There is no magic pill that will help them. It takes time, therapy, patience and a lot of empathy."
Not For No Reason
"go easy on them. We dont act out because we just feel like it or hate you, we act out because we're not used to being treated nicely and in the back of our head we always know that we could be sent away any day so we might not wanna get attached too fast."
"my sister and I went into foster care when we were really young and we came from a very abusive family so we just expected every family to be like that? I'd flinch every time someone tried to touch or hug me and I still don't like it. you just gotta be very patient because you never really know what they went through"
Last, others reminded folks that the point of foster care is to provide temporary safety until the child can, ideally, return home.
For obvious reasons, that's so important for people to get straight.
Know the Goal
"The system is designed to reunify families as its first goal. If you are in it to adopt you will have conflicting priorities. If you're not, you should keep in mind that in order for a successful reunification to happen, you really need to forge a relationship with the bio parent(s) and in a sense, foster them as well."
"Almost all parents who are part of the system probably should have been foster kids based on what they grew up with. Treat the kid (s) as part of your family but recognize the pain of a parent having their child taken away. Regardless of what they did, they are probably hurting"
A Different Thing Entirely
"The goal of foster care is reunification, not adoption. I wish more foster parents understood that. You're not entitled to someone else's child, and foster care is not some free version of adoption."
"It can be a result, but the goal 99% of the time is reunification with bio parents. Also, no matter the situation, there WILL be trauma. It's not easy."
Remind Children Too
"First of all; As a foster you are part of a system trying to reunite families."
"First time children are going to be confused and frightened, reassure them that everyone, including you, is working on getting them back to their family."
"Children that have been in the system before will still be frightened, but might not show it, they may also be scared of going back to their parents."
"Each will be different and you need to adjust to their needs. Emotional and physical."
"Treat them as you treat your own child. This means feeding them the same,(and healthy foods) getting the clothes they need, making sure they get to the dentist and doctor, giving them treats/toys/fun things as well."
"Give them their own safe space."
"Allow them to make choices (which shirt/shoes do you want? Do you like this food? What meal do you want tonight, choice 1 or chose 2?) They have no control in their own lives, this helps give them some control."
"Get them a suitcase, that's theirs, that they can take with them when they move on. Most don't have one."
"Give them an allowance from the money you get for housing them and spend the rest of the money on things they need. It's for them, to help you care from them and it's not yours to vacation on or by your (bio) kid a new iPad."
"THEY WILL REMEMBER YOU FOR THEIR WHOLE LIVES. Someday you may be a horror story about their past, or you may be the one who gets remembered fondly and with love. You dammed better be the one they remember with love."
Perhaps fostering a child has crossed your mind in the past. Here's hoping this list helped you iron out your motives, concerns, and confidence level.
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People Divulge The One Thing They Want To Tell Their Parents But Are Afraid It'll Break Their Hearts
Who knows us better than our parents?
A lot of people, in fact. Not every person's relationship with their parents is perfect, and sometimes people have reasons why they hide things or choose not to be entirely honest that are perfectly valid. It takes a lot of courage to be open––especially if the environment in which we grew up wasn't exactly ideal.
That's what we were reminded of after Redditor Magical-Potato-Chips asked the online community,
"What's something you've wanted to tell your parents but won't because it'll break their hearts?"
"I hate staying..."
"I hate staying in their house when visiting because it is so messy and their dogs are not trained properly and all they do is watch TV all day.
My old room was my one sanctuary, I kept it completely clean and clutter-free, but then my dad took it over, and now it is floor to ceiling stacked with boxes and junk.
I love them to death, but living in all the junk, smells, and rowdy dogs just isn't enjoyable."
"I do think..."
"Probably just a real talk about how abusive my mother was to us. She's mentally ill and I've forgiven her. I do think she tried her best, but she didn't have the right tools to be a good mother. It would stir up more issues than it's worth. I just accept her for who she is."
Sometimes that's easier.
"I was afraid..."
"I slide my feet whenever I walk on wood floors, no matter where, at every age no matter what. I was afraid of my mom knowing I was up and around. The more noise I made, the more negative attention I received."
This is sad. When we hear that "children should be seen and not heard," we should remembeer that these are the consequences.
"I was easily manipulated..."
"Their bad example of love, marriage, and family led me to several abusive relationships. I was easily manipulated because I was terrified of being abandoned."
"That my dad..."
"That my dad dismissing my interests as a child and preteen makes me not want to talk to him. And he's said a decent amount of hurtful things he's never apologized for.
He retired and lives across the country, and I just pretend I'm bad at calling/texting."
"My mom is extremely bad..."
"I was so obedient when I was a child only because I was afraid that I would agitate them and get shouted at any time.
My mom is so proud that she raised an extremely well-behaved and polite daughter. But the only reason I was like that was because I lived in a fear of violating the adults' rules and the consequences. My mom is extremely bad at controlling emotions."
Sometimes talking to a parent can feel like dealing with a land mine.
"I am living with my family of Muslims and I go to a Muslim school and I hate it. My parents will either be really sad or really angry if I tell them I am atheist so I have to be quiet and pretend.
I can't eat, wear or do what I want and I have to constantly listen to teachers and students preaching about death and how I will burn in an eternal flame if I don't believe. It's terrible, sometimes I have doubts and going to school to listen to them talk is legitimately scary."
"That I'm always sweet and agreeable..."
"That I'm always sweet and agreeable not because that's how I really am, but because I'm terrified that they'll kick me out if I disagree too strongly or cause any strife. I'm disabled and can't work. There's nowhere else for me to go.
My parents have never given me any indication that they would do such a thing, but they could, so I can't trust that they never will. I'm always on my guard, trying to figure out what will make them happy and what I need to hide."
My heart breaks for this person.
"That would kill my mother."
"That, yes, my sister is right. You were emotionally abusive when we were kids.
That would kill my mother. She vents to me about how awful it feels to hear that from my sister. She tried her best."
"As a result..."
"I never went to them when I was hurt or needed help because I always knew how stressed they were dealing with their own problems. They didn't hide it well.
As a result, I often feel the desire for attention that I never got, and have to avoid attention-seeking urges. Sometimes I blame it on them, even though I know that isn't fair of me."
Having trouble with your parents?
"Particularly for children who had a difficult relationship with their parents as kids, recognizing a lack of closeness with parents in adulthood can feel like another, added layer of grief. In any case, feeling a distance from one's parents is undoubtedly difficult, but there are some strategies that you can use to cope," writes Dr. Samantha Rodman, a clinical psychologist and columnist with TalkSpace.
Practicing acceptance, focusing on qualities that your parents do have, finding support and solidarity, and being the parent you wish you had can go a long way.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below.
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Siblings can be problematic to say the least. And as much as we love our family, they can be the most aggravating people any of us know.
The history of the bond and twisted relationships between sibs is long, complicated and chuck full of family fun.
I know by brother and I alone could fill an anthology. Imagine if we all put our stories together?
That's all anybody would talk about.
Redditor u/lew939 wanted all the siblings out there to share a tale or two by asking:
Siblings of Reddit, What does your sibling do that irritates you the most?
My brother and I have an entire decade between us. There is not much that we can relate to when it comes to our daily lives. What we can agree on are the things that drive one another most crazy. I mainly can't stand his music, his clothes, and his hair. And I know best, because I'm perfect.
"He's always loud, and whenever something doesn't go his way he screams bloody murder."
Sounds like Pop
"One-upmanship. No matter the topic, she knows better and needs to make sure I feel like an idiot."
"That is exactly my father. So frustrating. Makes it impossible to have a non-surface level conversation, and then he gets annoyed that we don't talk that much. When I veer the conversation into topics where I definitively know more than him, he either tries to one up me again or just stops talking entirely."
"When my wife and I were expecting twins my sister was jealous of the attention. She doctor shopped until she found someone who would prescribe a specific fertility drug that increased the likelihood of twins."
"We lost our twins about halfway through the pregnancy. But my sister took the names we had intended to name ours, and used that name for her twins."
"You know that slightly embarrassing thing that happened 30+ years ago? Let's bring that up Every. Single. Time. Family. Gets. Together... for 30+years. We're all in our 40s and the annoying sibling thing never really ends. lol I still see my Mom and her siblings squabble from time to time."
"Edited to add: I feel like I should make it very clear that I dearly love my siblings. Every one has annoying siblings. I'm sure I annoy them as well. Lol."
Bad Moma bad moms christmas GIF by Bad MomsGiphy
"Screams at her kids because they dared to breathe in her presence."
See these people get it. Sometimes you have to let family know when they are too much. Siblings can be the most self centered and obnoxious. And why do they have to be so loud? Ever heard of an inside voice? Damn...
The Bondsiblings fighting GIF by sam maurerGiphy
"Care. If she didn't I'd most likely not be alive right now. It annoys me but she the only reason I feel too bad to go back to my old life style, even when things get bad."
"I have a younger sibling (around 10 years old) and all they do, all day, is zoom or play mine craft with friends, now this would be fine if they didn't constantly yell at each other."
"DID YOU CHEAT IN DIAMONDS?!"
"YOU BLEW UP MY HOUSE insert no proof other than that kid eating a donut at 3pm or soothing idk "
"I'm so done."
She's a Problem...
"She has absolutely no regard for other people."
"Example: I'm moving to Nashville at the end of the month. After she and my cousin volunteered to help me move, she immediately jumped into planning a "girls' trip". We'd stop in Santa Rosa to visit some famous swimming hole, stop in Cadillac Ranch, spend an entire day in Memphis, etc."
"When I told her I didn't want to do those things, especially because I have a cat and can't just leave her in a hotel room by herself, her response was that I'm "the one who wanted to do this trip". False, sister - it was you from the get-go. When my cousin agreed with me, my sister bailed because it wasn't going to be any "fun."
"Then, she decided she was going to drive up to Nashville from Orlando instead. Then she wasn't and would maybe come visit in July. I told her July wouldn't be a great time because I'll be out of town for a little while and training for teachers usually starts in mid-July. Then she was. Then wasn't. Then it was a maybe as of last week, but she wouldn't know until "like the weekend before."
"I texted her the next day wanting to know if she'd do me a favor if she came up on moving day and she replies that she isn't after all, but is coming up in July with her friend. And when I reminded her about why coming up in July wasn't good, she got mad at me."
"My older sister gets angry and cannot control it, leading her to say some pretty messed up stuff to me or family members. I wish she'd be more self aware and change."
"I struggled with this for a long time. I'd get super angry for no reason and say horrible things. I hated it so much. Turns out I'm hypoglycemic and that's how I act when my blood sugar gets too low. Still not great, but it means I have a way to fix it when it starts to happen."
Bathroom Problemstoilet paper help GIFGiphy
"He refuses to use regular toilet paper to wipe his butt, instead opting to use wash cloths and then just leaving his crap rags wherever he pleases. he also takes enormous poops and then doesn't flush."
In the end I do love my sibling. But if there was a prize for burning my last nerve? He'd win all of the time. And clearly I'm not alone in this issue. You gotta love family. I suppose...
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