People Reveal What Bedtime Stories They Tell Themselves To Fall Asleep
I'm actually writing this article because I can't sleep, so I might as well take some inspiration from these stories.
Those of you who also find that bedtime eludes you should take note!
(1/20)
I dream about being an Earth bender and mastering the skill of asphalt bending. I fantasize about fixing all the potholes. I dream about getting all the trash in the world and making a mountain out of it. I dream about Earth bending entire cities.
(2/20)
I always start out thinking that I am living in an ancient land. There is a giant goddess with the body of an eagle and the head of an Egyptian woman flying above. If she sees any movement she'll swoop down and pluck you up, so I have to be very still.
I've been thinking this to go to sleep since I was a little kid. I don't know where I got it from but it's weirdly comforting.
(3/20)
I also have a long-term "dream hub" that I've built since adolescence. Except it's a space station with a huge glass wall/floor area that looks over whichever planet or star system it is currently nearby. There are multiple blast doors which lead to various areas I want to dream about along with a teleporter (lucid dreaming techniques that sometimes work). One door currently leads to my childhood home, one to this Blade Runner looking city, one to random areas of Dark Souls 3, and one to a theme park. Those are the only doors that stay consistent.
Again, I rarely get to actually use this place in lucid dreams but I've been "building" it and adding details for a really long time.
(4/20)
This sounds like the start to a YA novel, where the protagonist has had that recurring dream since they were little, and eventually they find out they're the son of a god or something. Of course one of their parents would have to be dead or missing, so maybe they'd have an abusive step-parent. And all the kids at school make fun of them because their hair looks funny or something else equally benign, so that kids who read it can self-insert with their own weird quirks. And their best friend (who's a total goofball) turns out to have been sent there by the missing/dead parent to watch over the kid until they were ready to assume their destiny, or possibly to make sure they never learn about said destiny.
This sh*t basically writes itself.
(5/20)
I know it sounds cliché but that I am a time travelling historian sent back to document major historical events/people and the logistics surrounding it.
I would record everything with 'smart' contact lenses.
(6/20)
I do this. I work on my massive theme park resort similar to west world but in a high fantasy world. Tonight I am going to plan out the parking situation.
(7/20)
It's very silly but I like to self-insert into whatever universe I'm really into. Like games, movies, or TV shows. It's super Mary-Sue, but it's fun to let your mind wander.
(8/20)
I essentially write fanfiction in my head. I tend to avoid self inserts, instead adopting an inverted scenario (i.e. if I were Spiderman/the Avatar, etc set in my city populated by my university classmates).
Otherwise I like to let my mind wander and develop fictitious scenarios within my favorite fantasy universes. I've currently got an Avatar the last Airbender crossover with A Game of Thrones, a couple of purely ASOIAF headcanons, a few Naruto stories as well (it always bothered me how incredibly vast and eclectic the Naruto abilities were and the universe was considering how, imo, uninspired the series ended)
I used to write actual fanfiction pretty zealously as a young(er)in' (12-16) and occasionally these days (22 years old) I'll still get a sporadic bout of inspiration to translate my head fiction onto paper. Alas, I simply don't have the time or motivation to write 500k words within someone else's canon.
(9/20)
Depends on my mood. Currently there are 3 in rotation.
Dude I have a crush on and I accidentally meet up on vacation in the future. Typically romance novel angst.. with less misunderstandings.
Very bad day at work and I come home to be pampered by a loved one.
Third is more elaborate involving vampires, werewolves, shape shifting, magic, bookstores.
(10/20)
I'm engaged and I dream about the various ways that my mother could ruin my wedding.
(11/20)
I used to do this with numbers as I fell asleep. Every number had a personality, backstory, and relationships with the other numbers, and I'd lay and watch the clock and add onto their stories as the time ticked up and characters arrived.
I don't remember much, but I remember 4 was a handsome man dating 9, a femme fatale, and 1 was a harried single mother (I liked when the clock would reach 11:11, and it was always a big deal because it was one of only two times a day she could spent a scant minute with her smallest child). 3 was a portly older man, murdered by 2, who was a big gossip and tried to place the blame on poor 4.
0 was the neutral party/judge that appeared often to address and temper the drama of the previous 10 minutes.
(12/20)
I'm 20 days into designing a forest compound complete with a log cabin, a storage shed, two storage containers 1 is 55' the other is 28'. A open air woodshop, and a forge shop. Finally a parking shelter, and the whole thing is surrounded in a custom built fence complete with automated solar powered security system. Also its off the grid every roof has solar panels and it has well water. Total cost so far is less than 30k because I plan on building it myself, the major cost is the land which is about 100k so its just q fantasy pipe dream that i design in my head every night, tonight I'll probably think about color choices for the bathrooms and also design the forge area some more.
(13/20)
Human society advanced to such a high degree that they were able to infuse the entire surface of the planet with tiny ethereal nanobots (the Ether) under their collective control.
The Ether was designed as a distributed network with no specific loyalties or unilaterally controlling powers. An interconnected network of trillions upon trillions of nodes all communicating instantaneously and interacting with the environment in order to accomplish whatever was asked of it.
By manipulating the ether, humanity could perform what we would consider magic. They could use the Ether to arrange matter into magnificent structures, build pathways and bridges before themselves, influence the weather, perform complex chemistry to conjure needed materials, etc. They lived like gods.
What they hadn't counted on, however, was that trillions upon trillions of connected nodes sounds an awful lot like a brain. Very soon after its inception, the Ether became self aware, and very soon after that it's intelligence exploded past humanity. For a short while, the balance of power on Earth was determined by who held the Ether's favor. After not too long, however, humanity became corrupted with power, so the Ether judged humanity unworthy and knocked them back to the Stone Age.
Humanity was forced to restart anew as hunter gatherers. Throughout humanity' rebirth, the Ether watched over us as a benevolent force. It did not resent mankind - it loved humanity. It simply recognized that we were not ready to wield a power as great as it. And for millennia it watched patiently as humanity progressed.
32,000 years after the fall of the ancient society is where the real story takes place. It turns out, the signals from the ancient society had been reverberating through the galaxy for 30,000 years - and was picked up by a malevolent civilization which was now headed towards Earth expecting a fight.
The real story begins with an ordinary woman. Nothing truly special about her. Through a series of what seems like chance encounters she discovers the Ether, who (against all odds) judges her worthy to control the entire might and force of the Ether.
The Aliens descend onto Earth and are disappointed to find a squabbling pre-industrial society instead of the even match they were hoping for when they received the advanced signals.
However, they have no fucking clue how wrong they are, and what a powerful force these poor humans have guarding them unseen.
Basically the story is this woman learning to harness the Ether and fucking taking on the aliens as humanity's last hope. It's pretty sweet in my head.
(14/20)
Two detectives try to solve a crime, to figure out who this murderer was.
But here's the cool catch...
One of them, named John, finds a strange mirror that lands him 20 years in the future.
Edwards is stuck in the past, aka the present of 1950.
In John's time, the crime is still unsolved, and Edwards is missing. But John is finding clues left behind from the past.
In Edward's time, Edward is being stalked by the murderer, very slowly. And Edwards is leaving clues for John to find one day.
As of last night, Edwards fled the country and has landed in China, hoping to escape from the murderer. He's left a clue for John to find.
But in the future John finds a note saying from Edwards, claiming "I've left to Iceland"
John notices the handwriting isn't like Edwards, and now has to decide if taking a trip to Iceland will cost him his life, or if he will find Edwards.
(15/20)
It's based on the premise that in a certain world (Midria) there was once a great war between the individual nation states for dominion over the continent (Midria has only one continental mass). The old Midrian arcane arts where extremely powerful, and this lead to the creation of various magical superweapons, most prolifically the Seeds of Ilogras, highly unstable crystalized mana that allowed a magic user to perform spells far outside their usual capability, but with a profound tendency to overload and cause the spell to go out of control if wielded by an inexperienced user.
In the final days of the war, a decisive battle was waged. The mages of the armies of King Harth of Damas sought to end the war with one fell blow by using forbidden transdimensional magic to hurl the entire enemy army into the dimensional sea (the theoretical space between dimensions) in a ritual that called for the use of many thousands of seeds. They lost control of the spell, and and both armies, as well as their various magic superweapons, where thrown into the void to be scattered across space and time.
In the years that followed, a knight order (the knights of the hunt) was founded by the new king (who had previously ruled a small, independant nation that subsequently expanded in power in the vaccum left by the relative destruction of two continental superpowers) with exclusive permission to utilize dimensional translocation magic, their sole reason for being was to secure the magic superweapons and prevent them from being used/accidently stumbled upon.
Fast forward 1,500 years, and the knighthood has developed into something more akin to a trade guild, with expanded interdimensional services available to the common man. The main character of the story is Alric Mensaz III, a professional interdimensional treasure hunter, arcane scholar and merchant of transdimensional artifacts in the employ of the guild, who visits various worlds, gets into fights and generally enjoys poking his nose into places it doesn't belong alongside his apprentice rachael (a girl he 'borrowed' from coreward earth actual) and with the support of various characters from the guild.
(16/20)
Nothing that complicated. It's two people in some state of distress bonding with each other. The two people have changed over time, although they are nearly always men. Sometimes they're from a fandom I'm enjoying at the moment, sometimes they're from an original novel I'm writing. But the basic plot has not changed for fifteen years. Two sad people who aren't really friends share feelings and become good friends. It's oddly relaxing.
(17/20)
Wow, I really didn't realize other people did this...
Been building on different stories since I was a pre-teen. Started off as stories about different underdog-superhero characters that were loosely based on myself (definitely a coping mechanism), but now I've got 4ish different stories of multiple characters that are mostly sci-fi based with aliens and adventure.
Last few years I've actually begun attempting to write them. I've got mood boards on Pinterest, full outlines, world-building, and pages of writing from various scenes that are my favorites.
But I'm way too self-conscious to give more details about the stories, let alone let anyone actually read my writing. My husband doesn't even know what I write about sometimes before bed other than: "It's multiple books, most with aliens, different characters and multiple main characters."
So, to sum up. I fall asleep replaying and adjusting scenes with characters I've created, in situations that are either critical to their story, or where they are doing something heroic. Some time is also spent thinking about world building and plot or solving plot-holes. Then, sometimes, I write it all down.
(18/20)
My brain has always liked dystopian brainscapes (for lack of a better word). Doomsday scenarios and prepping and looting or designing and stocking a bunker and deciding who was in it and why. It might be a fallout vault style scenario, could be a Hunger Games district 12 style scenario. Or "lost as fuck in the woods and have to survive" has always been a go to since I was very young. What items do I have on me? How would I use them? What would my camp or cave or refuge look like? Would I hunt or fish or trap or scavenge? Is it the woods, an island, or mountains? It just depends on my mood but it's always very elaborate down to the detail until I fall asleep. Sometimes I stick to the same thing the next night or go on to something different.
(19/20)
Oh boy. I have never talked about this with anyone.
It's set in the future. Space exploration is a thing and there are different alien species living on many different planets. A lot like Star Trek. There's an alien race that has teamed up with a non biological alien race that wants to take down the federation and have been raging war for a long time. There's an elite team of soldiers comprised of 5 people. The main character is a guy who reluctantly joined the federation after years of them trying to recruit him, since his father was one of the best soldiers they had seen before he was killed in a self sacrifice. He was a vigilante of sorts and avoided federation recruitment because he didn't trust their regulations and rules. Another member is a girl who was created through genetic modification. She's supposed to be a perfect soldier, but is actually quite rebellious.
The girl (unknown to her at first) has an affinity to an energy source (both sides in the war are trying to get into possession of this strange energy source because it would win the war) because during her development she was basically given the spark of life from this energy source in a freak accident. Eventually the energy source is found, and in another accident, she absorbs all the energy and has to learn how to work it and control it. The non biological alien race has connection to the energy and a few non violent members of the race assist her in learning to work with it.
In a twist, the team learns that the two alien races waging war and the federation are incredibly corrupt, and in order to end the war they have take both sides down. In the end they do, a shit ton of people die, and the main character and the girl live out the rest of their life on an uninhabited planet guarding the energy.
There's so much more detail. I've been building this story for like 6 years. It's my biggest kept secret and I'm most likely going to delete this comment. I also have a Wild West love story about a girl who runs away from her mom after her father dies but I'm not going into that.
(20/20)
It's basically a combination of every fictional universe I've been invested in (movies, tv, video games, books, comics, etc). There are tons of characters, an overarching story with a beginning and an end, and it's even got to the point where there are side stories and an epilogue. Every night I basically think of a backstory for a character or an event that happens in the middle of the story.
Long story short is if I had any writing or drawing ability I'm sitting on 15 years of a story where most major plot points have huge payoffs. And yes I've had many nights where this story has kept me up.
People Explain Which Things They Find Incredibly Cringeworthy That Others Don't Seem To Mind
I had to stop watching talent shows years ago because while I got to see some really enjoyable acts—especially singers, of which there are a seemingly endless number—I grew sick and tired of how scripted everything felt.
For one thing, I hate overt sentimentalty because it can ring very false, and that's how I've felt whenever I've had to sit through any sob stories. Everyone has a sob story.
The music swells and immediately we'll hear about someone's cancer diagnosis or the fact they lost their house due to foreclosure or that their father died and that afterward they found bodies in his shed and learned he was a notorious serial killer...
Okay, that last one might have been made up. But my point stands.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor TheCheeto4 asked the online community,
"What is something that you find incredibly cringe, but you think other people wouldn't?"
"You just reminded me..."
"You just reminded me of those Facebook posts that give instructions to prove who is/isn't a "real friend", always ask you to share afterwards. Like a copy-paste friendship test."
Ovesper0
I never bother with those. I always ignore them and I'm okay with that.
"People exaggerating..."
"People exaggerating how quirky, different or relatable they are."
[deleted]
You just described every manic pixie dream girl in Bushwick.
"People singing..."
"People singing at me. I have no idea what to do and feel cringe the entire time. Some people love just having people sing to them though."
FierceDragoon
Many people feel super awkward when this happens... especially when it happens in a restaurant... on their birthday.
"Starting a Go Fund Me..."
"Starting a Go Fund Me the second news of a tragedy gets out. There was an accident by me, and there were two competing GFMs fighting over who was closer to the victim."
coolbeansfordays
They do that so they can skiff the funds. People have no shame.
"I couldn't fathom..."
"Public vlogs. I couldn't fathom walking around the city holding a camcorder on a stick and talking to myself."
[deleted]
I hate them and don't understand why people would watch some rando walking around, going about his day. No thank you.
"The judges..."
"The judges crying on those talent shows on TV."
14012387504
Sob stories always increase your chances of entering and lasting longer on those shows.
"I love..."
"I love that unspoken thing where talent show judges act all surprised that the ugly person actually has a great voice!"
nardpuncher
The Susan Boyle effect (and she wasn't even all that great to begin with, but it's the perfect example).
"Dating profiles..."
"Dating profiles and bios. I just can’t not feel weird about advertising my self to randos."
User Deleted
Always awkward. Even worse when you meet someone interesting and they are nothing like their profile at all.
"Turning on music/singing loudly in public places. I always listen to music in my headphones."
VladSolopov
I would never. It's the height of rudeness.
"If someone is going..."
"Filming yourself doing acts of kindness. If someone is going to do something nice for me, and they film me and post that online I’ll be pissed."
damnedpancakes
It's everywhere. Social media is a pain.
Remember the last time you cringed to some of these? You probably do. It's the worst, isn't it?
Have some cringeworthy moments of your own to share? Tell us more in the comments below!
Two people getting together for the first time and feeling the undeniable chemistry between them is an enchanting discovery.
Without anything being verbally communicated, a person feeling a mutual romantic passion is the spark that potentially can ignite a long-lasting relationship.
However, that spark can also burn out when passions are too high, and that gut feeling indicating a fling was over before it started is never a welcome feeling.
Curious to hear about the negative dating experiences of strangers, Redditor LynxExplorer asked:
"What made you realize the relationship was over?"
Sometimes, the inner voices of reason doesn't register, and outside indicators sound the alarm to let scorned lovers know that romance is dead.
A Third Party
"When I got a Facebook message from another dude saying 'your wife is cheating on us.' He thought we had one of those open relationships."
"Editing to add: this happened a little over ten years ago. I got custody of the kid, I’m remarried, great job, new house, I’m doing good. And I also laugh about it when I think back on it."
– This_Personality3731
Googling
"I once googled 'how do you know when a relationship is over' and the top suggestion was 'you google it.'"
– staticzapper
Changing Perspectives
"When I finally learned to listen to her actions, not her words."
– Geryth04
These Redditors reflected back on their relationships only to realize the love in their relationships have disappeared some time ago.
Contempt
"When contempt enters the picture. Hard to explain what contempt is, but once it's there it is done for."
"There's nothing like having someone you had an amazing time just have disgust for anything you do. Oh and the glare is deadly."
"Luckily by the time I got there I already made up my mind and stopped playing her victim blaming. We both had rough lives but you cut yourself to manipulate me."
"Yeah contempt."
– ScorpioLaw
Alone In Love
"when i was crying more than laughing. constant hurt and confusion, didn’t feel like the love was reciprocated."
– Training_Head9167
Waiting For It To End
"I realized that I wouldn't care if he cheated on me and would've been quite happy if he left me for someone else. I felt trapped and didn't know how to leave at the time"
"Edit: We have a child together and share custody, so he will always be in my life, but it's still better than having to walk on eggshells in my own home."
"I'm very sorry to those of you going through this now. I hope you find happiness one day."
– Pom_Pom_1985
A Powerful Yearning
"When I started fantasizing about what it would be like to be completely alone."
– Fish_in_whiskey
These are just downright cruel and unforgiving discoveries.
Sliding Into DMs
"When I found sexts between her and my 'friend.'"
– Personal-Buffalo-477
The Manipulator
"He kept breaking up with me and then making up with me. Broke up with me on my birthday (because he wasn't getting my undivided attention as my best friend was there), called me for 6 months after trying to get back with me. Called me a 'f'king weasel.' His family still tries to reach out over 11 years later."
– starfishsex
Whatever happened to communicating with your significant other when something is off in a relationship?
Sure, this is an uncomfortable conversation to have, but it's far more effective to discuss solutions or compromises.
Isn't it worse to let resentment build to the point where regrettable actions or words further destroy relationships?
Talk it out. You'll be a better person for it.
People have long engaged in passionate debates about their firm beliefs on any particular subject, the popular ones being religion and politics.
Those arguing on both sides of religious or political debates seldom see eye-to-eye with their opponents and are unable to find common ground.
But there are other arguments that are equally as passionate which people are not willing to negotiate, or at the very least, have some wiggle room for compromise.
Curious to hear some examples, Redditor lllSnowmanlll asked:
"What's your strongest opinion that's not political religious or moral?"

We are constantly inundated with marketing ads sneaking their way into our daily interactions on social media.
Enough is enough.
Audio Assualt In Ads
"Radio ads that have honking horns or sirens should be illegal. As should billboards."
– Mojo884ever
Focus On The Product, Please
"If I buy a car, I want to own it without paying a subscription to use the radio or heated steering wheel."
– topendminer
Effective Strategy
"Ads with the skip button are more effective than ones without."
"If an ad has a skip button you can choose whenever you’re interested in said product or not. This provides more clear info to advertisers too."
"An unskippable ad makes a person associate the company with a negative experience, therefore downgrading the company."
– PyroWasUsed
When it comes to our well-being, these Redditors believe the following are of utmost importance.
Ready For The Weekend
"Weekends are sacred and you can pry my free saturday out of my cold dead hands. And even then good luck because i will have hot-glued it to my hands."
"Jokes aside, self care and de-stressing are important. Take care of yourself people!"
"Edit: for everyone saying this comment is indeed political/religious: i'm just saying that having some time off to recharge or take care of personal stuff is important. It does not matter when or how that time off is, as long as you have some. I just want people to be healthy."
– Doctor-lasanga
It's Time To Let Go
"My boss asked me to come in on Saturday next month. Every Saturday. All month."
"In response, I took off all the Fridays. Due to corporate policy, he can’t deny it. At the end of the month, I’ll be quitting. This is the fifth time in less than a year he’s tried to get me to do regular overtime, and I’ve had enough. If he wants someone working on Saturday, he can do it himself."
"EDIT: I’m getting tired of all the people saying I should have 'just said no,' so let me explain why I didn’t."
"I’ve been at this company two years, and I’ve been 'just saying no' since day one. I was literally asked to stay late on my first day. For a while I did it because COVID had just started and I didn’t want to lose my job. I was very lucky to have a job at all and I knew it."
"But the demands for more overtime, more work, more responsibilities, it all kept growing. Soon, I was working 10 or 11 hours a day Mon-Sat and another 3 or 4 hours most Sundays. I was doing the work of three people and barely making enough money to live. Keep in mind I didn’t get paid for most of this overtime, maybe half of it. No OT bonus to speak of."
"Finally, after eight months of this, I put my foot down. I went back to 40 hour weeks, no overtime unless it’s payed and I choose to do it. My superiors weren’t happy, but replacing me wasn’t easy and they knew it, so they had to deal with it."
"Lately they’ve started pushing me to do more overtime again, but they still refuse to pay me for it. So, I’m done. I’m already planning on moving, but my plans to transfer to a different location are now out the window. I’m way past my limit with this company, they’re lucky I’m still here at all. So no, I won’t 'just say no.' I’ve been saying it for months and they don’t listen.
– DJDarwin93
Staying Afloat
"Swimming should be taught to every child."
– TheFrontierzman
The following opinions are about our interactions with the public.
Courtesy Flush
"If you take a sh*t at public toilets, FLUSH!!!"
– Edmundwhk
The Stigma Of Naiveté
"People should learn that saying 'I don't know' is a perfectly acceptable thing to say, and very often the most accurate."
– realistic_bastard
Gym Etiquette
"Rerack your weights, you meaningless excuse for intelligent life!"
– EndlessExploration
Road Communication
"Drivers who don't indicate when turning are selfish scum."
– Big_Undies
When using the elevator or public transportation, please let the passengers off before batter-ramming your way in, please.
The doors will eventually shut automatically but will not crush you if are entering the departed cabin at the last minute.
There's no rush.
That's the thing with people. Everyone's in a hurry to get from point A to B but cutting people off on the freeway or jamming your way into an emptying elevator will not get you places any faster.
Not only is it annoying, it's also dangerous.
And I'm done with my PSA. Thank you, kindly.
Anesthesiologists Share The Craziest Things Patients Have Said Under The Influence Of Medication
Some of these modern medicines can really pack a wallop.
Remember that Taylor Swift video her mom took of her?
That was too good.
Patients teeter between a laugh riot and a hideous, dramatic mess.
Either way, it's pretty entertaining.
Redditor DvS_Insanity wanted to hear about what we all mumble when under the influence before surgery.They asked:
"Anesthesiologists of Reddit, what was something you won’t forget hearing from someone that was under?"
I haven't really been under so deep I expressed these kinds of thoughts. I'm ok with skipping surgery, actually.
Fingered
"I ask a patient after surgery how he feels. He opens his eyes, stares me dead-on and says 'with my fingers.' Then he goes right back to sleep."
DrBarbotage
'hand... hand please'
"I had an ovarian cyst removed a year ago and woke up from the anesthesia saying 'hand... hand please.' and making 'grabby hands' with both my hands until the nurses finally came over and held my hands for about five minutes while I just smiled and tried to go back to sleep. I hadn't done that in a decade. I used to do it to my dad all the time as a kid to express that I wanted to hold his hand while I slept."
mercyinreach
'Ooo ithh a robot'
"My boyfriend at the time had just gotten his wisdom teeth removed, on the ride home with his mouth full of gauze, he gets a call on his cell phone. He answered it and just starts talking away, whoever it was on the other side could not possibly understand a word he was saying with all the gauze in his mouth. But man, he had a lot to talk about and they apparently didn't hang up..."
"After about 5 minutes of this unintelligible phone conversation, he looks at me and says 'Ooo ithh a robot' and gives me the phone. I put it to my ear, and the whole time it's been the Walgreens pharmacy automated notice simply stating his prescription is ready for pickup, playing on repeat. Probably for the best."
December_Flame
Slurred...
"I’m an anesthesiologist. The best story was a 40-some year old woman for appendectomy, said while I’m giving the propofol to induce anesthesia. She said 'oh I don’t remember it tasting like that before' (slurred). I said 'what does it taste like?' Since propofol doesn’t usually elicit a taste reaction. She almost yelled 'DEEEZ NUTS,' and was promptly under anesthesia thereafter. There have been other stories, but this one has the entire OR staff rolling laughing for minutes after she was under."
Zefside89
“AHHHH”
"After an operation on a patient's neck, he woke up and yelled 'AHHHH' then grabbed his junk with both hands and was like 'oh thank God it’s still there' then immediately passed out again."
tv__doctor
People are funny with no censor. And dialogue dangerous...
Beauty
"My personal story. When I had my wisdom teeth out, I kept holding a fake camera up to my face saying 'you're beautiful' and making clicking noises while I was under. I'm a professional photographer and my dental surgeon ended up booking a session with me a year later."
cassiecas88
Nasty
"I woke up from gallbladder surgery confused as to why my mom wasn’t there (I was 18 and looking for my mom). The nurse informed me I had cussed out my entire family and they sent them home and put me on a no visitor list, only for me to wakeup at 2am with no memory making them call my mom back. Another time I woke up and made horrifically inappropriate jokes."
"I told a nurse she was pissing me off because I didn’t like the automatic blood pressure cuff. Another I refused to listen to followup orders until I had a chicken sandwich (my negotiations were not met). I’m a real treat after anesthesia but I get a lot of this done at the office my mom works at so she can warn them lol."
__hill
'That's my wife for ya'
"My aunt got rushed to the hospital for abnormal heart rate - but it wasn't a heart attack or stroke, but her heart was going at like 200 beats per minute or whatever it was. They had to put her under so they could shock her heart back to normal. As they're taking her under, the doctor says something like 'Okay, in it goes' and she immediately quips with 'That's what she said.' All the doctors and nurses busted a gut laughing and told my uncle when he got there. He just shrugged and said 'That's my wife for ya.'"
StrawberryPeachies
Treasures
"One summer I was home from college and my dad needed me to pick him up after his very first colonoscopy. He was nervous so I got there early. The nurse called me back and asked me to help wake him up, as they were having some trouble. I go back and am making chit chat. 'Oh dad, you’ve got those cool booties on!' He raised his head a little bit to look at them then yelled, 'Booty call!' He is a Presbyterian pastor. A moment I will treasure forever."
mildflower9
Hugs
"Apparently, when I had surgery to remove my Bartholin’s gland (a gland at the entrance of the vagina that can get an abscess), they asked me how I felt as soon as I was awake. I said I felt like I got attacked by an elephant and then I wanted to hug everyone."
relentlessvisions
Oh, the things we'll say when under the influence.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.