Oh the secrets we tell when we have no idea anyone is listening. Once we are deeply ensconced in our R.E.M slumber we surrender our wits and our will to our imagination, or to the dark crevices of our mind that extols truth. The things we mumble to the lover beside us can garner us a hardy chuckle for years to come or.... 10-20 in the state penitentiary. Our imaginations run wild in sleep, so have your affairs in order.
Redditor Jhaydun_Dinan wanted to hear what sort of things get whispered in the night whilst in slumber from loved ones by asking.... Hey, Reddit, those of you with partners who talk in their sleep; what is the creepiest/weirdest/or most random thing they've said?
The Local Touch....
GiphyI was told by my fiancé that he came to bed one night after I had fallen asleep and started rubbing my back, which apparently prompted me to sleep-say "This just in! Local boy massages.. other local boy!!"
I am a 26 year old female but that night I was a young 19th century newsboy at heart. cardedformilk
That's one Spicy Meatball!
Completely at random: "OPEN THE WINDOW ABIGAIL I'M BURNING LIKE A MEATBALL" we don't even know an Abigail. thoughtcasserole
YOU don't know an Abigail. elmo39
Too Loud!
My wife once in the middle of a dead sleep just did like a possessed scream/yell. It was from quiet to loud. Kind of like aaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. And then she started snoring immediately after. I didn't go back to sleep for a while. Tangata_Puhuruhuru
WOOOOOOO!!!
Once, me and our roommate were downstairs, while my husband was sleeping upstairs. We heard him yelling in his sleep and I figured he was having a nightmare and went to check on him.
Turns out he was, in fact, not yelling. in his dream he had a bunch of creepy ghost children trapped in a hole and was mocking them by saying "WoOoOoO~ WoOoOoO~... B***hes." zikeel
Then get some Tide....
Giphy"Bleach your a**hole already, would ya?"
He sleeps very hard, we can have conversations while he's asleep. I've got several of them on video and they're some of my most favorite things. TheBottleRed
We're so Woke!
One time while sleeping I grabbed my partner by the shoulder and told her "hey, people are just stacks of years" like it was the most important thing in the world. ewhit276
Meet George Jetson....
My wife doesn't Reddit but she would jump to tell you that I said; "How come you get the cool spaceships and i get the Jetsons?" Then made the Jetsons flying car sound and went back to sleep. Taodragons
Yes. Coupons!
I have two great ones:
- I had stayed up late and husband was asleep in bed. We had creaky wood floors, so I was walking slowly into the bedroom trying not to make too much noise. I stepped on a creaky spot, and husband shifted in bed and then said, in a very cheeky/smiling tone: "I have a machine... that will shoot you.. if you move around. It'll shoot you right now!" Then he was back to be being dead asleep.
- I was reading in bed, husband turned to snuggle into me and then this conversation: Him: (in a cutesy, flirty tone) "Coupons." Me: "Coupons?" Him: "Yeah, coupons." lalammle
Off with the Head!
My roommate sleep talks almost every night and I once walked in on him sobbing. Full on bawling.
I asked if he was good and he said in the calmest voice "yeah sure I just wanted to see it to the end".... he doesn't remember it one bit. The runner-up was when he burst into laughter and then said "why did none you try to chop my head off just then?"spurtz_
Should've hid it in the banana stand....
Giphy"The money is hidden off the road by the Indian Reservation." I tried to get her to talk more but she mumbled something I couldn't understand and went back to sleep.
She doesn't remember her dreams after she wakes up so it's this mystery of whether or not she hid money in the desert. nicefineapple
Redditor Tight_Anywhere6794 wanted to hear about the things parents have said in the past that haunts everyone still, so they asked:
"What insult have your parents said, that is stuck in your head as an adult?"
I've been blessed with the mother I had.
So I can't speak from experience.
But I've heard parenting horror stories.
Bad Expressions
Sad Kid GIF by 1tvGiphy“'You’re so annoying.' Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything."
foppishyyy
Mean Spirited
"What did I do to deserve a fat kid?"
Silosolo
"My parents also mocked me for being fat, and outright physically abused me as in forcefully grabbed my fat child manboobs or slapped me while calling me fat-related names."
"A lot of people at school did it too, so obviously I have a lot of self-image issues like I never let anyone see me without clothes these days. The worst part is that I legitimately internalized a lot of hate, I could never care for myself enough to actually get fit."
FoeWithBenefits
What's My Name?
"My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me."
Discarded_Pariah
"That's awful. You are your own person. You aren't your father."
blksmnr
Unfunny
"'You can't even laugh right.'"
"My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong. Told her I'm engaged and hoped she could at least be happy I'm happy and she ghosted everyone to the point the family thought died. She's a mess."
BlindEditor
"I'll never understand parents that are so hard on their own children that they can't even be happy for them. So their sole function is to bring misery to their offspring?"
macabre_irony
Evil
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbor. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years."
Ilookbetterthanyou
Good Lord. How do people like this exist?
Tragic.
HIM
"She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner. The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day."
rot_grl
10 Years Old
"When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said 'If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat.'"
"Never forgot it. Talked to her about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from 'That never happened' to 'Oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever' and finally 'Yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that.'"
"Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was '[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.' I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung."
SpiderP*bes
Failures
“'You’re the biggest mistake I ever made.' - my mother when I was 5. I’m 32 now and it’s been the undercurrent for our relationship ever since, constantly wondering if anything I’ve achieved or struggled for is something she’s genuinely proud of or just relieved to say I wasn’t a total failure on her part."
thefaehost
Generational Issues
"Not a parent but a grandparent, I was adopted when I was 12 years old (my parents were both drug addicts so I was in and out of foster care most of my life) my adopted mother's father turned to me on Christmas Eve when no one else was around and said 'My daughter should have never adopted you, she should have let you stay on the streets where you belong'… he got nicer as he got older and sicker but I couldn’t find it in myself to forget what he said even almost 10 years later. Went to the funeral for moral support but was indifferent about his passing."
samweather227
Just Me
Sad Kids GIF by Cian DucrotGiphy"I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was 'If you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror.'"
Responsible_Fly_3565
Some people should never have children.
Awful.
"What is something you no longer have patience for?"
Off The Clock Means OFF THE CLOCK!
"Working outside of work hours."
"I used to go above and beyond, now I only put in what is required."
"Life is too short to live only to work."- Chesterfieldcat
"The working world."
"My life doesn’t revolve around working here and it never will."
"It will never be a part of my identity."
"I come in, do the job, make money, go home."
"Don’t expect me to come to all the work happy hours so I can pretend how much I love working here."- nuclearsalt
Some Things Just Don't Get A Free Pass
"Sh*tty people getting a pass 'because they're family'."- cgulash
angry homer simpson GIFGiphySay What You Mean, Not What You Feel
"Having to guess what people REALLY mean by something they said."
"I take everything people say at face value now and don't replay conversations in my head to find out the real meaning anymore."
"Be passive-aggressive if you want to but talk to me like an adult if you really have a problem."- WateredDownSalt
EYES ON THE ROAD!
"People who text and drive."
"You're driving a giant piece of metal propelled by explosive liquid."
"Pay attention."- MasterfulNothasie
The Only Life That Should Concern You Is Your Own
"People and groups of people that only talk about other people."- Turf98
"People who can’t mind their fucking business and are always worried about what other people are doing."
"If it doesn’t effect you, f*ck off."
"It’s literally free."- wackwackwackjpg
GIF by WWEGiphySome People Didn't Mind Social Distancing
"People invading my personal space."- Mighty-Foreskin
Influence Can Be Dangerous
"Anything that has “influencer” in it."- chemistcarpenter
Indoor Voices People...
"Streamers screaming, losing their sh*t, breaking things, and having tantrums."
"I used to think this was so funny now I just can't stand it; I can't even watch a streamer if I notice they're not using their normal talking voice." - Reddit
Fail Oh No GIF by G2 EsportsGiphyTaking Responsibility Is A Sign Of Maturity
"People who constantly blame others for the situation they are in."- SuvenPan
Time Is Precious And Shouldn't Be Wasted
"Waiting on people who are constantly late to plans."
"I will wait 15 minutes then excuse myself."- Dabbles-In-Irony
There's Multi-Tasking, And Then There's Just Being Rude...
"People being on their phone while in a conversation with you."
"Seriously."
"Put your phone away!"- rosieblinkstime
Phone GIF by Poehlmann FitnessGiphyIt Takes So Much More Effort To Be Nasty...
"Bad manners, unkindness and general rudeness."
"It costs nothing to be a nice person and from someone who works in a customer-facing industry, attitudes, sadly, appear to be getting worse."
"It really makes me cross."- Bellamiles85
At Least They're Being Transparent
"Medicine commercials with worse side-effects than the thing being cured."- mrbbrj
Wasting our time and thoughts about things that we know can only bring us down is simply no way to get through life.
It's essential to live our lives by taking the present moment for what it is: a present.