Going to Vegas brings a certain level of discretion, thanks to a brilliant marketing campaign from the early 2000s telling us what happens in Vegas must remain in Vegas. Your trips' nastiest bits aren't for social media. Instead, they'll be relegated to your memories, tucked away into the deep folds of your mind. You know...until the next time you go, and do something awful again.
Reddit user, u/MommmyDearest, wanted people to open and share the worst of the worst when they asked:
For those who have been to Las Vegas —What's your "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" story?
All Part Of The Job
I warn that this isn't super exciting. I went to my sister's wedding in Vegas. I stayed in a hotel room with my dad.
He was asleep upstairs while I was downstairs playing blackjack. When I went upstairs, I was approached by two women offering to have a "good time"
I said no thanks, but they asked me why not. I just said "Oh I'm sharing a room"
They said "That's fine, we can do two people"
I said "Well, it's my dad"
They said "We're still fine with that"
Not What You Were ThinkingGiphy
Man I have the lamest verision of this ever.
I had a job interview in Vegas, it was in Nov. or Dec. Two years back and I had put on some "winter weight." Didnt realize quiet how much. Dropped my portfolio with my resume and writing sample and sh-t walking to the interview.
Bent down to pick it up.
Tore my suit pants in the crotch, had to hold my portfolio awkwardly over my lap the whole interview. Didn't get the job.
Have never told that story, when everyone asked how it went I just said "fine" and then acted suprised when I didn't get the job.
So uh, I guess being so fat I tore my suit was a story that up until now stayed in Vegas.
Just...Close Your Eyes...
I've lived there for 18 years, but went away for college. I recently went back to Vegas for a school-sponsored event, meaning I got to experience it as a tourist. Saw a homeless person hooking up underneath a blanket, accidentally made eye contact. Worst half second of my life.
Fell in love with a porn star, spent thursday through monday acting like a couple.
Felt different once we got to the real world.
Its a tie for me
At the bar of a busy casino on the strip (the Flamingo) a very drunk (possibly on drugs) mountain survivalist from Idaho with a fu-manchu mustache pulled a gun on my wife and I because of how excited he was to show it off "in case he ran into trouble".
Saw a Go-go dancer fall off a table and horribly break her leg, she was (probably) on drugs and tried to get back up to dance more. It didn't work.
An Almost Tragic End
Spring break, 21 years old. Me and my best friend got blackout drunk and tried to get married in the hotel chapel cause it'd be funny. We texted our 4 other friends to come to the ceremony. 3 of them were also blackout drunk and asleep, but our 4th friend who didn't drink stopped us.
That's Why They Have No Smoking Rooms
I accidentally set the fire alarms off on the 16th floor of the flamingo cuz I rolled a 5 gram baby leg of bud I got from a dispensary and smoked it in our room. I was frantically trying everything to shut it off before security rolls through and makes me fan a pillow at it for 20 minutes and then left.
My arms hurt so bad after doing that but f-ck I was not trying to get smoke damage charges or some other bullsh-t. Dude pulled me down the hallway at the end and pointed to the stairwell and said "you're on the 16th floor dumbass no one is using the stairs smoke there."
Which I then did so dutifully.
No Dance Is Free
So my older brother got to start this tradition and I hope to carry it on when my son turns 21. All the guys in the family go to Vegas on 21st birthday. We live on the East Coast so it's not a quick car ride from CA.
My uncles, dad, grandpa, and brother were all there. Another memorable moment was seeing my dad walk to the ATM shaking his head. Apparently he thought that when the dancer wanted another dance he thought it was free? 11 years later he still hears jokes about ATMs. Christmas is fun. Grandpa is 87 and still going trucking along!
I bought edibles from a local dispensary. I quickly opened a rice crispy treat and ate the whole thing and prepared for a night of fun.
Well... During the ride on the roller coaster at New York New York, the edible kicked in full blast and left my head spinning. I ended up getting lost and walking 2 miles (I think) in the opposite direction of where I was staying.
I started to freak out, because I was high as a kite and was NOT enjoying myself anymore. I started to cry and have a panic attack until a guy dressed as Elmo helped me get back to my hotel.
Next morning, I woke up and read the packaging. It recommended breaking the rice crispy treat into multiple pieces, and NOT eating it whole. Lesson learned.
When The Truth Is Sadder Than Fiction
I suddenly got very bored hanging out with my friends at a club. I just wasn't feeling it. I abruptly stood up tossed my drink back and said "all right. I'm going to find something different to do."
I can be unpredictable and go harder than them usually. A couple of them were asking what I was doing and wondering if they should join me. I told them to enjoy the club. If sh-t got too crazy I'd text them.
Then I caught an Uber and went to Walmart for snacks, checked to see if they had any of the action figures I collect, and went back to my room and watched Netflix.
The next day they asked what I did and I didn't want to say "I looked for dolls and bought Doritos." And they took my slow response to mean I'd got up to something crazy. "Dammit I knew I should have went with you!"
They can never know.Made up for it on Fremont the next night. We had crazy fun out there. Old Vegas is where it's at.
A Tale For All Families
Oh boy. So about 6 months after I turned 21, my mom(43),brother (24) , grandma (oldish) and I flew down to Vegas. We of course got pretty drunk and made some friends in our hotel casino. Well. Apparently one of the guys had just came up from the Mexican border with some cocaine and other fun stuff.
I sh-t you not, this guy pulls out a f-cking ROCK from his damn sock and puts it on our hotel table. And that's what I remember of the story of how I did cocaine with my mom & brother in Vegas with some random drug pusher while grandma was asleep next door.
Seriously, Keep All Moms Out Of Vegas
Had some beers on Fremont street with my parents, aunt, uncle, and cousins. My mom was sober, but just to be funny she jumped on the fringe of this group of people dancing in a group (not a flash mob or anything, just some drunk people). She doesn't dance usually, mostly just pumping her hands up and down and jumping around (I love it, she's so funny to watch).
One guy turned around and started dancing with her, but he spanked her, and my mom took off like someone shot her in the ass, we all absolutely died laughing.
He Was Living His Best Life?
Walking down the boulevard and a guy jumps on a parked police car, whips his penis out, and starts pissing all over the windshield of the vehicle. Cops jump out of the car while trying to avoid piss and reach for their taser. The speed pisser finishes, jumps off the hood, and narrowly dodges the tase.
He then bolts across the street, but gets hit by a van on the opposite side of the road before he makes it all the way. I'm pretty certain his level of intoxication helped him survive being hit by that van.
Living The "What Happens Here" Lifestyle
I was an Elvis impersonator in one of those high class nudie shows.
I was skinny Elvis in the fat Elvis jumpsuit. And the guitar I used was a stage prop, weighed nothing and didn't make a noise anyone would consider music.
Something Left Behind...
I sharted myself badly in the middle of the Cosmopolitan Casino while trying to find a bathroom. I waddled the rest of the way to said bathroom and waited there for an hour until I was rescued by my brother who was all the way on the other side of the strip.
The underwear I was wearing at the time stayed in Vegas.
...And Something That Came AlongGiphy
Met a drunk girl at a bar (I was also drunk). We start making out in the one narrow hallway in the bar, blocking people from both sides. I left her shortly after that to fly home.
I got her number and Turns out she lives a few towns over from me
5 years later and we got married last August.
EDIT: I thought I left "it" in Vegas. She just followed me home the day after I left and never let me go ;)
Feel like sharing what went down in Vegas? Let us know!
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People Break Down Which Franchises They Think Have Been Done To Death
Considering how much money these films make, I understand that I am in the minority when I say that Marvel films have absolutely overstayed their welcome. What once seemed fairly innovative—the current generation of the MCU really took off when Iron Man proved to be a tremendous hit—now feels stale.
I accept it, though. These films are not for me and never have been. That's okay. But it'd be great if we could have more room for other great blockbuster films other than yet another superhero movie.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Ziggi28 asked the online community,
"What franchise has been milked to death?"
"MTVs Teen Mom. Although they still act like teenagers, the moms are in their 30s."
Part of me thinks the only reason it's still on is because MTV knows several of the cast members have no other way to make money and they're waiting to see if any of the kids become teen parents.
All of Them
"A better question would be what franchise HASN'T been milked to death. Something like 9 out of 10 "blockbusters" these days are remakes/sequels/rehashes etc."
If we have to have nonstop remakes, I wish they’d at least make good remakes of bad movies/shows that had potential but were poorly executed for whatever reason, instead of mediocre at best remakes of classics.
It's a "No" for Netflix
"Certainly nothing netflix has created. Get hooked on a show with solid potential and bam....its canceled."
Netflix’s Dark Crystal amazingly resurrected a Jim Henson masterpiece, set up an entire world to explore, and cancelled it after one season.
"Is the next Halloween really going to be the last one or no?"
Don't forget, guys: Evil dies tonight!
We'll repeat it 10,000 times just so you know for sure.
Friday the 13th
"When Jason started killing in Manhattan, possessing people’s bodies, and killing on a futuristic spaceship in outer space, I felt the Friday the 13th series was getting a bit ridiculous. Although Jason X wasn’t that bad."
Honestly, the franchise died with Jason X. The remake of the first—which actually combined the plots of the first four films—was actually pretty good but didn't go anywhere after that.
"Ben 10. I enjoyed the first 3 shows, 4th one is mixed for me, but that 5th show which is that reboot that came after was unnecessary and just shows that Cartoon Network is reliant on making money from toy sales rather than telling a good story from that reboot."
There were more than two? This is news to me.
The Walking Dead
"The Walking Dead. I stopped watching when I found myself actively hoping the protagonists would be killed in gruesome ways."
I stopped after Beth died, didn't watch it for a long time, went back to it—though I started from the beginning—and gave up right when Glen was killed. It was exhausting and a meandering mess all in all.
"I just got an ad for the Jurassic World: Dominion extended edition. Pretty sure nobody has been asking for more runtime of that movie."
That movie had no reason to be as long as it is and Laura Dern and Sam Neil are really slumming it.
90 Day Fiancé
"90 Day Fiancé."
"There must be like 20 spinoffs from that show, including Pillow Talk (which has former cast members commenting on episodes) and then a Pillow Talk for the Pillow Talk episodes. Not to mention the individual spin offs like The Family Chantel and Darcey & Stacey."
I can't believe this is still on. I must be dreaming.
"Grey's Anatomy. It’s so repetitive and just ridiculous now. I gave up in season 10, then tried again and caught up a few seasons but it’s just kind of relentless, ruins good characters and rapidly churns out new, forgettable ones."
This should is the definition of a soap opera. And to think it was once a big Emmy contender for a few years!
Admit it: You're so over these too, aren't you? We might as well be living in a time loop because some of these franchises keep coming back over... and over... and over...
Have some thoughts of your own? Feel free to share them with us in the comments below!
People Confess Which Things They Find Absolutely Cringeworthy
We've all displayed embarrassing behavior or actions at one point or another, and we can't seem to shake off the regretful moment.
It just replays in our minds like an endless boomerang.
We are equally embarrassed for those who may have done something spontaneously foolish and have no clue of the mortifying impact of their actions.
It's called cringe, and strangers online had plenty to say about the all-too-familiar phenomenon when Redditor brownGoddess01 asked:
"What is something you find REALLY cringe?"
There is a time and place for things. That doesn't mean the unspoken rule is broken.
"A disastrous engagement during someone else's wedding."
"This happened at my cousins wedding. My other cousin was proposed to by her bf during the reception. The cousin getting married eventually got a divorce and the cousin who was proposed to never got married. My grandma went to her grave calling the guy who did the proposal 'El Diablo.'”
Inappropriate Declaration Of Love
"I used to work wedding receptions. One time during the speeches I witnessed the best friend of the bride profess his love to her, in front of the groom and everybody. It was one of the most awkward/cringiest moments I’ve ever witnessed."
There are some things we do that we can't take back.
How Far We've Come
"my past self."
"That means you’ve grown. Respect."
The Moment We'd Like To Forget
"My mind randomly replaying an embarrassing moment I've done that I want to forget."
"Listening my recorded voice."
Some people love living their lives on camera. Some participants don't have a say in the matter. And others just don't wanna see it.
All The World Is A Stage
"Family bloggers. Constantly having your life recorded as a child can really f'k you up. Especially since a lot of the time the parents are just using their children for content."
"I will extend this to normal people who post every second of their child’s lives, they often hide under ‘it’s so my family can see it’ but it’s not really, is it? Or else you’d have an account just for family not your 900 additional ‘friends’"
Crying You A River
"Recording yourself crying on social media."
"when individuals share sobbing selfies. No joke, when my friend's sister and her children put their dog to die, she tweeted selfies of them both crying. and the deceased dog."
"Like, is it a private moment of mourning and not a chance for a selfie?"
"All these 'prank' videos getting millions of views."
"Edit: To be specific, I’m referring to 'prank' videos that are clearly staged."
Unsolicited Life Coach
"People whose lives are an absolute self-induced disaster and post selfies with motivational quotes telling other people how to think and live."
Being in the entertainment industry and knowing how humbling it is when there are more rejections than there are bookings, we tend to be our own worst critics.
So there's nothing more cringey than revisiting an old recording of myself performing at a high school talent show when my interest in theater was fresh and exciting and I already thought I was a pro.
Unfortunately for teenage me, I was blissfully unaware I had ways to go before honing my craft.
Let's just say that all those old VHS recordings of me performing an imitation of Michael Crawford as the Phantom of the Opera need to be burned.
People Share The Best Ways To Apologize To Your Partner After Calling Them The Wrong Name In Bed
Sex. It's great, but there can be a lot of drama involved.
We're human, how could there not be?
One way to make it easy is to say the right name when you're in the heat of things.
Seriously, we know this sounds like a small thing, but it's monumentally important.
Make sure you know your date's name.
If you don't, take your date to Starbucks and have it written on their cup.
It might be REALLY important later in the evening.
Redditor throwaway2356765 wanted to know your best excuses in the worst moments of intimacy.
"How do you apologize to your girlfriend after accidentally calling her by your ex’s name during sex?"
Sex makes our minds crazy. I say all sorts of nonsense.
ExtremesRun Away Nuclear Bomb GIF by IdentityGiphy
"Burn the house down. Fake your death. Move to Peru. There's no recovery."
"You're gonna have to run out the clock on that one. Just say you're sorry and take the consequences."
"Yup. Persistence is key. Apologize a thousand times until she forgives you. Cook her favorite meals a thousand times until she forgives you. Massage her back a thousand times until she forgives you."
"'I'm so sorry [Ex's Name].' Trust me it'll work."
"Unironically maybe if you can convince her you have early onset dementia."
"Call out a guy's name next time and really throw her for a loop."
"Call out your own name."
"Or her father's name."DZLars
And Piggy?Press Conference Kermit GIFGiphy
"Call out Kermit’s name next time."
Sex makes us all crazy.
SorrySad Cry GIF by TheFactory.videoGiphy
"Oh man, trust me as someone who calls everyone by another person's name... there is no amount of apologies to make up for that in this case. Just hope she cares enough to forgive - she won't forget though and may bring it up many times."
"Not sure, but if it helps to know, I accidentally called my wife our dog’s name during an argument."
"Update: It totally killed the tension, and we laughed about it. I am safe."
"I just had a baby and now no one’s name is sacred in my house. Every cat’s, dog’s, or human’s name is Interchangeable with the others."
"Tell her you called her name while having sex with your ex and you're just trying to even everything out."
"Perfectly balanced, as all things should be."
"Just say you're sorry and you didn't mean it, but don't expect that she will get over it easily."'
"This seems like the most sensible answer. My answer was basically grovelling, grovel and grovel some more and hope she can forgive you but don't expect that to happen right away but definitely expect to hear it in every argument for a few years to come as well."
#1 AnswerLouis Litt Genius GIF by SuitsGiphy
"The only way to salvage this is at the time by adding ' ...was never this good!'"
Be better y'all. It's an intimate moment and your partner deserves the basest level of respect that come with knowing their name.
Do you have other ideas to share in the unfortunate event of this happening? Let us know in the comments below.
People Divulge Their All-Time Biggest Regrets From High School
High school... how the trauma follows everyone.
Who has a perfect high school experience?
I wish I could do it all again.
I would've listened more.
Redditor Resplendenced wanted to talk about the good ole days, and how we could've utilized them more.
"What is your biggest high school regret?"
I don't hate high school. But I don't love it. Long story.
Who Cares?Eddie Murphy Whatever GIF by Coming to AmericaGiphy
"Giving a crap what those people thought of me."
"This is why I was never interested in traveling back to go to a high school reunion. So pointless."
"Not being more confident. My inner voice talked me out of a lot of things that would have made my teenage years more rewarding and productive."
"This times 1000. Shoot your shot, and act like nothing happened when it fails. Confidence is 100% people pretending to know what the hell they are doing regardless of whether they actually know or not. Nothing that happened in high school is going to matter when you are 40. Just keep that in mind."
"Should’ve talked to more people."
"You kind of go through assuming other people don’t want to talk to you. Little do you know they think the same thing. I wish I was just nicer and more open to everyone."
"Do you think the majority of the people genuinely wanted to talk to others? And if so, do you also think this still applies years after high school, or does it dwindle? Just wondering cause in my adult years it's hard finding friends."
"Not understanding that it was just temporary; the toxic behaviour of other students, the bullying, the fake friends and stresses imagined. In the end, it was four years of my life and I let it impact me more than I ever should have."
"I came to say this!!! I’m a teacher and I tell my students all the time that this is temporary. They have to do 4 years then they’re free to do whatever makes them happy. They can go out in the world and get a job, go to college, trade school, etc."
"But there will always be a**holes who try to get you down no matter where you go, so you need to start practicing at a young age how much you allow them to effect you. I went to school with the same people K-12 in my small town and I still talk to 1. I left and didn’t look back, so I tell my kids they can do the same. Even when I visit my parents I don’t go out and see any of those people."
WERKSnap Werk GIF by Jackée HarryGiphy
"Not realizing what a hottie I was. My self esteem was awful back then."
We're all hot in high school. We just don't know it.
Not BadThe Rock Omg GIF by NBCGiphy
"Not finishing school and dropping out. Although, I had no direction or any parental care at the time and was depressed. I did get my GED and i’m in my final year of getting a bachelors in computer science. Not bad for a high school drop out."
"Falling in with an unhealthy friend group. They were controlling and possessive, and I ended up isolating myself from other, possibly healthier, friendships. I was always warned about abusive romantic relationships. I didn't realize friendships could be abusive as well."
"Not dating and socializing. I never wanted anything to do with anyone, as much as people tried. I missed out on basic experiences which didn’t bother me back then but now I’m like i wish i did more high school kid things lmao."
"I was coming here to say that I should have completely skipped dating, so nearly the opposite of you. Dating in high school was horrible, emotionally destructive stuff."
"I wish I joined the school paper or something like that."
"I was the photo editor on my HS paper because I had a nice camera. It was like a key to the school. I could walk the halls and if questioned I was on paper business. I knew everyone and everyone knew me. Took pictures of all the pretty girls and took some to the darkroom to learn to develop so to speak. Cause I bought a fancy camera I had an amazing high school life."
With Caregrades a very poor effort GIF by 3 Doors DownGiphy
"Not caring about college/my grades."
"I had the opposite problem, caring too much about my grades leading to massive sleep deprivation."
Oh High School... what a time.
Do you have high school regrets? Let us know in the comments below.