Going to Vegas brings a certain level of discretion, thanks to a brilliant marketing campaign from the early 2000s telling us what happens in Vegas must remain in Vegas. Your trips' nastiest bits aren't for social media. Instead, they'll be relegated to your memories, tucked away into the deep folds of your mind. You know...until the next time you go, and do something awful again.
Reddit user, u/MommmyDearest, wanted people to open and share the worst of the worst when they asked:
For those who have been to Las Vegas —What's your "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" story?
All Part Of The Job
I warn that this isn't super exciting. I went to my sister's wedding in Vegas. I stayed in a hotel room with my dad.
He was asleep upstairs while I was downstairs playing blackjack. When I went upstairs, I was approached by two women offering to have a "good time"
I said no thanks, but they asked me why not. I just said "Oh I'm sharing a room"
They said "That's fine, we can do two people"
I said "Well, it's my dad"
They said "We're still fine with that"
Not What You Were Thinking
GiphyMan I have the lamest verision of this ever.
I had a job interview in Vegas, it was in Nov. or Dec. Two years back and I had put on some "winter weight." Didnt realize quiet how much. Dropped my portfolio with my resume and writing sample and sh-t walking to the interview.
Bent down to pick it up.
Tore my suit pants in the crotch, had to hold my portfolio awkwardly over my lap the whole interview. Didn't get the job.
Have never told that story, when everyone asked how it went I just said "fine" and then acted suprised when I didn't get the job.
So uh, I guess being so fat I tore my suit was a story that up until now stayed in Vegas.
Just...Close Your Eyes...
I've lived there for 18 years, but went away for college. I recently went back to Vegas for a school-sponsored event, meaning I got to experience it as a tourist. Saw a homeless person hooking up underneath a blanket, accidentally made eye contact. Worst half second of my life.
Untrue Love
Fell in love with a porn star, spent thursday through monday acting like a couple.
Felt different once we got to the real world.
Twofer
Its a tie for me
At the bar of a busy casino on the strip (the Flamingo) a very drunk (possibly on drugs) mountain survivalist from Idaho with a fu-manchu mustache pulled a gun on my wife and I because of how excited he was to show it off "in case he ran into trouble".
Saw a Go-go dancer fall off a table and horribly break her leg, she was (probably) on drugs and tried to get back up to dance more. It didn't work.
An Almost Tragic End
Spring break, 21 years old. Me and my best friend got blackout drunk and tried to get married in the hotel chapel cause it'd be funny. We texted our 4 other friends to come to the ceremony. 3 of them were also blackout drunk and asleep, but our 4th friend who didn't drink stopped us.
That's Why They Have No Smoking Rooms
I accidentally set the fire alarms off on the 16th floor of the flamingo cuz I rolled a 5 gram baby leg of bud I got from a dispensary and smoked it in our room. I was frantically trying everything to shut it off before security rolls through and makes me fan a pillow at it for 20 minutes and then left.
My arms hurt so bad after doing that but f-ck I was not trying to get smoke damage charges or some other bullsh-t. Dude pulled me down the hallway at the end and pointed to the stairwell and said "you're on the 16th floor dumbass no one is using the stairs smoke there."
Which I then did so dutifully.
No Dance Is Free
So my older brother got to start this tradition and I hope to carry it on when my son turns 21. All the guys in the family go to Vegas on 21st birthday. We live on the East Coast so it's not a quick car ride from CA.
My uncles, dad, grandpa, and brother were all there. Another memorable moment was seeing my dad walk to the ATM shaking his head. Apparently he thought that when the dancer wanted another dance he thought it was free? 11 years later he still hears jokes about ATMs. Christmas is fun. Grandpa is 87 and still going trucking along!
Lesson. Learned.
I bought edibles from a local dispensary. I quickly opened a rice crispy treat and ate the whole thing and prepared for a night of fun.
Well... During the ride on the roller coaster at New York New York, the edible kicked in full blast and left my head spinning. I ended up getting lost and walking 2 miles (I think) in the opposite direction of where I was staying.
I started to freak out, because I was high as a kite and was NOT enjoying myself anymore. I started to cry and have a panic attack until a guy dressed as Elmo helped me get back to my hotel.
Next morning, I woke up and read the packaging. It recommended breaking the rice crispy treat into multiple pieces, and NOT eating it whole. Lesson learned.
When The Truth Is Sadder Than Fiction
I suddenly got very bored hanging out with my friends at a club. I just wasn't feeling it. I abruptly stood up tossed my drink back and said "all right. I'm going to find something different to do."
I can be unpredictable and go harder than them usually. A couple of them were asking what I was doing and wondering if they should join me. I told them to enjoy the club. If sh-t got too crazy I'd text them.
Then I caught an Uber and went to Walmart for snacks, checked to see if they had any of the action figures I collect, and went back to my room and watched Netflix.
The next day they asked what I did and I didn't want to say "I looked for dolls and bought Doritos." And they took my slow response to mean I'd got up to something crazy. "Dammit I knew I should have went with you!"
They can never know.
Made up for it on Fremont the next night. We had crazy fun out there. Old Vegas is where it's at.A Tale For All Families
Oh boy. So about 6 months after I turned 21, my mom(43),brother (24) , grandma (oldish) and I flew down to Vegas. We of course got pretty drunk and made some friends in our hotel casino. Well. Apparently one of the guys had just came up from the Mexican border with some cocaine and other fun stuff.
I sh-t you not, this guy pulls out a f-cking ROCK from his damn sock and puts it on our hotel table. And that's what I remember of the story of how I did cocaine with my mom & brother in Vegas with some random drug pusher while grandma was asleep next door.
Seriously, Keep All Moms Out Of Vegas
Had some beers on Fremont street with my parents, aunt, uncle, and cousins. My mom was sober, but just to be funny she jumped on the fringe of this group of people dancing in a group (not a flash mob or anything, just some drunk people). She doesn't dance usually, mostly just pumping her hands up and down and jumping around (I love it, she's so funny to watch).
One guy turned around and started dancing with her, but he spanked her, and my mom took off like someone shot her in the ass, we all absolutely died laughing.
He Was Living His Best Life?
Walking down the boulevard and a guy jumps on a parked police car, whips his penis out, and starts pissing all over the windshield of the vehicle. Cops jump out of the car while trying to avoid piss and reach for their taser. The speed pisser finishes, jumps off the hood, and narrowly dodges the tase.
He then bolts across the street, but gets hit by a van on the opposite side of the road before he makes it all the way. I'm pretty certain his level of intoxication helped him survive being hit by that van.
Living The "What Happens Here" Lifestyle
I was an Elvis impersonator in one of those high class nudie shows.
I was skinny Elvis in the fat Elvis jumpsuit. And the guitar I used was a stage prop, weighed nothing and didn't make a noise anyone would consider music.
Something Left Behind...
I sharted myself badly in the middle of the Cosmopolitan Casino while trying to find a bathroom. I waddled the rest of the way to said bathroom and waited there for an hour until I was rescued by my brother who was all the way on the other side of the strip.
The underwear I was wearing at the time stayed in Vegas.
...And Something That Came Along
GiphyMet a drunk girl at a bar (I was also drunk). We start making out in the one narrow hallway in the bar, blocking people from both sides. I left her shortly after that to fly home.
I got her number and Turns out she lives a few towns over from me
5 years later and we got married last August.
EDIT: I thought I left "it" in Vegas. She just followed me home the day after I left and never let me go ;)
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Redditor lixxie_lx wanted to hear about all the big and minuscule things that have us running for the hills, so they asked:
"What instantly makes you lose interest in a person?"
This is a major issue for me.
I lose interest at the speed of light.
Not Cute
rude kim kardashian GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy"Superiority complex. It’s fine to be confident, but if you need to put others down to feel that way you’re just insecure and it’s not cute."
CarlosTentacule
Growning Apart
"The moment I can tell that they aren’t trying. Either they aren’t all that interested in me or they expect me to do all of the 'work' so to speak. Either reason is a good enough one to step away."
Ok_Button1932
"I’m going through this as well. 5 year relationship, no kids thankfully and not married. We’ve had to do long distance the last few months and she’s essentially radio silent. Never calls and only texts back if I chase her."
"We trust each other implicitly and even share location but the lack of interest in even checking in with me or being affectionate unless I initiate it has me feeling so gaslit. I fear it’s something as simple as growing apart but neither person wanting to end it."
SavetheFollys
The Tease
"When I tell them I don't like something, or something makes me uncomfortable and they continue to do it intentionally as if it's flirting."
mtotheija
"Hardest breakup I ever had was because of a person's inability to stop f**king with me... it's not funny when someone says that it bothers them and you continue to do it."
"Everything else was really good it gave me huge self doubt that I was just being a whimp and she had a point that it was just teasing. Even got to the point that I thought that's just the way this give and take is gonna go in this relationship. Glad I decided to get out... I would have been miserable."
phreedumb21nyc21
Be Quiet
"Constantly talking sh*t about others and trying to boost their own ego."
uncultured_swine2099
"Yup, I thought I met a good person at first, but then she started talking sh*t about everyone, not to mention if I got something I wanted, instead of being happy for me, she becomes extremely jealous."
"The last straw was when she left me in the middle of the street and left without me for university even though she told me she was picking me up. Sadly, she's still friends with my sister, and she kinda has to be because they share so many classes, but I'm still trying to find a way to cut off all contact, which is harder than I thought would be."
The_Phantom_Soldier
I See You
Married At First Sight No GIF by LifetimeGiphy"Few things are 'instant' dealbreakers, but blatant displays of rudeness or condescension toward strangers when under stress is a big red flag. Like, I get that you are frustrated, but there is no need to be a d*ck."
MissBitsy
Why is kindness so arduous for some people?
Kindness First
hot dog waiter GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy"If they mistreat others, especially those who are in the service industries."
funtime2000
Stay in the moment...
"When they can't stop checking their mobile phones every few seconds while we are talking. I went out with a woman who would do that. After the 4th date I stopped going out with her and dated another woman. The former was surprised to know that."
"I said 'But girl, you're always on the phone while I talk to you, it makes me feel ignored you know' and she was angry/sad. But I'm not exaggerating when I say she was staring on that screen and sending voice messages and all that to other friends of her while we were dating."
GabrielOmarCY
Look Further
"Lack of curiosity/intellectual laziness. lack of empathy, excessively judgemental attitude, narcissism, treating others as subhuman, spewing hatred, excessive victim behavior, and/or unnecessary combativeness. Maybe I'm just picky."
SawgrassSteve
"Assuming that if they don't know it it isn't worth knowing/can't be interesting. Also adults - well into adulthood, whose excuse for not knowing something is that they weren't taught about it at school. If they taught you to read you can keep learning on your own, you know."
zeugma888
Hard No!
"It definitely (for me i’m talking friendships) depends on a couple things. how they respond to emotional situations (example is are they caring/comforting or being dismissive and not really trying to put anything into it?)... how they respond to boundaries, if they’re mean or judgmental of others, like if we were talking and walking and they randomly look at another person walking and insult them, that’s DEFINITELY a hard no."
chaoticwitchbrr
Tropes
Will Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy"The 'hard to get' trope. like its one thing if there actually isn't mutual interest but when there is and someone makes you feel like you're working for their time and consideration, forget it."
cherrycreams0da
Coin Chat
"Talking about money. Pitching me business ideas. Speaking ill of people they view as lesser. Always comparing things they associate with prestige, and never speaking about anything of real substance."
FoldedaMillionTimes
Have any of these things ever happened to you? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor Ok_Security_8657 wanted to hear about the times we've had to suffer through, so they asked:
"What is the most painful thing you've ever experienced, *on purpose*?"
Let's see what stories Reddit had to contribute.
Twice?!
Season 2 Couch GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy"Novocaine doesn't work on me. For submarine service you have to have all of your wisdom teeth removed. The Navy does not use anything other than novocaine. They only pull two at a time though. I went back the second time."
LeepII
Salted
"I cut my thumb pretty bad years ago while using a knife in my kitchen. And looking at the salt shaker on the counter I got the idea to literally. Pour salt on a wound. It was like an electric shock was sent through my nervous system. A short but very intense feeling of pain. Use salt water/saline instead."
SidOfBee
"Technically it is an electric shock as salt has negative ion that if the condition is correct it would shock your nerves."
Kaperal
Feel It
"I have a friend who got a lung biopsy WITHOUT numbing and pain meds. She was 14. She said she wanted to 'feel it' like the biopsy on her knee (which did, in fact, use drugs). She says it was the most painful experience of her life. She had 26 cancerous tumors big enough to show up when on the scan of her lungs. She is happily married, alive and well, and a total bada**."
_ohhello
Welp
"I cut my arm open trying to catch a falling glass once. Saw the insides. To be thorough, I cleaned the wound by alternating squirting isopropyl alcohol and hydrogen peroxide in it. A little later my surgeon friend told me soap and water would have been good enough to clean it. Welp."
sbvp
"Next time use coffee grounds. I've also heard of people using chili powder but that seems like it'd be nasty."
Lordofdogmonsters
Motionless
Jake Johnson Pain GIF by New GirlGiphy"IUD fitting. Thought it was all fine because I didn't have too much pain during the procedure... 12 hours later I could not move from the pain and had to get my mum to deliver pain killers to my flat at 7am next morning bc I'd gone through everything we had."
Chance-Bread-315
Painkillers 24/7 for somethings please.
WHITE HOT AGONY
madeline kahn flames GIFGiphy"Recently, I had a couple plantars warts cut out of my feet. The shots they use to numb you suuuuck. Went right into the bottom of each of my feet under the big toes. WHITE HOT AGONY. Thankfully, the pain doesn't last very long, and the operation was pretty much painless after that."
NervousCap
Not Cool
"Getting my eyes washed after being Pepper sprayed. We were given a chance to experience the proper stuff while in military. My mind went 'Hell yeah, that will be cool!' Well, got sprayed, had to walk 5 meters to a person holding a water bottle so he could rinse my eyes. Motherf**ker had warm/hot water in the bottle and he poured it to my face."
"It burned even more and I got waterboarded at the same time."
"I've heard that you can experience pain that makes you fear you will die. Maybe, but at that moment I learned that you can feel pain that makes you fear that you might not die, and you have to suffer that pain."
Tit_U_Lum
Bad Removal
"The most painful experience of my life was passing a kidney stone, though whether or not it can be considered to have been experienced on purpose is debatable. I certainly contributed to its development through my choices, but that’s another story."
"On the other hand, I had an ingrown toenail removed before."
"After removing the entire side of the nail, the doctor chemically burned the exposed nail bed with a chemical called phenol. Even though my toe was entirely numb, it was the most white hot searing pain ever. It hurt so bad it took my breath away. The best part is that the toenail came back, and I’m getting it done again in two weeks."
Gordoniscool666
Truth Hurts
"Decided I had to tell the woman I fell in love with that I had feelings for her. I knew before I told her that she would reject me. She was not in a mentally healthy place and didn’t want to be with ANYONE. But I wanted her to know the truth. So I took the rejection like a man and we are still friends."
Horror-School-6713
Done
"Putting my wedding ring on our bedroom dresser (knowing my marriage was over) while my wife was across town doing a police officer she had met at the shooting range. I walked out of our house and have not spoken to or seen her since. That was over 40 years ago."
wyoflyboy68
Bye Bye
Sad Rabbit GIF by Muffin & NutsGiphy"Putting my dog down. She passed in my arms. There's a song that I associate with her which I can't hear without tearing up, despite her exiting my life more than a decade ago."
GeebusNZ
These are some brave folks who have been through some enormous pain. We thank thank for sharing!
Do you have anything you'd like to add? Let us know in the comment section.
