Brave People Reveal Their "What Happens In Vegas" Stories
Going to Vegas brings a certain level of discretion, thanks to a brilliant marketing campaign from the early 2000s telling us what happens in Vegas must remain in Vegas. Your trips' nastiest bits aren't for social media. Instead, they'll be relegated to your memories, tucked away into the deep folds of your mind. You know...until the next time you go, and do something awful again.
Reddit user, u/MommmyDearest, wanted people to open and share the worst of the worst when they asked:
For those who have been to Las Vegas —What's your "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" story?
All Part Of The Job
I warn that this isn't super exciting. I went to my sister's wedding in Vegas. I stayed in a hotel room with my dad.
He was asleep upstairs while I was downstairs playing blackjack. When I went upstairs, I was approached by two women offering to have a "good time"
I said no thanks, but they asked me why not. I just said "Oh I'm sharing a room"
They said "That's fine, we can do two people"
I said "Well, it's my dad"
They said "We're still fine with that"
Not What You Were ThinkingGiphy
Man I have the lamest verision of this ever.
I had a job interview in Vegas, it was in Nov. or Dec. Two years back and I had put on some "winter weight." Didnt realize quiet how much. Dropped my portfolio with my resume and writing sample and sh-t walking to the interview.
Bent down to pick it up.
Tore my suit pants in the crotch, had to hold my portfolio awkwardly over my lap the whole interview. Didn't get the job.
Have never told that story, when everyone asked how it went I just said "fine" and then acted suprised when I didn't get the job.
So uh, I guess being so fat I tore my suit was a story that up until now stayed in Vegas.
Just...Close Your Eyes...
I've lived there for 18 years, but went away for college. I recently went back to Vegas for a school-sponsored event, meaning I got to experience it as a tourist. Saw a homeless person hooking up underneath a blanket, accidentally made eye contact. Worst half second of my life.
Fell in love with a porn star, spent thursday through monday acting like a couple.
Felt different once we got to the real world.
Its a tie for me
At the bar of a busy casino on the strip (the Flamingo) a very drunk (possibly on drugs) mountain survivalist from Idaho with a fu-manchu mustache pulled a gun on my wife and I because of how excited he was to show it off "in case he ran into trouble".
Saw a Go-go dancer fall off a table and horribly break her leg, she was (probably) on drugs and tried to get back up to dance more. It didn't work.
An Almost Tragic End
Spring break, 21 years old. Me and my best friend got blackout drunk and tried to get married in the hotel chapel cause it'd be funny. We texted our 4 other friends to come to the ceremony. 3 of them were also blackout drunk and asleep, but our 4th friend who didn't drink stopped us.
That's Why They Have No Smoking Rooms
I accidentally set the fire alarms off on the 16th floor of the flamingo cuz I rolled a 5 gram baby leg of bud I got from a dispensary and smoked it in our room. I was frantically trying everything to shut it off before security rolls through and makes me fan a pillow at it for 20 minutes and then left.
My arms hurt so bad after doing that but f-ck I was not trying to get smoke damage charges or some other bullsh-t. Dude pulled me down the hallway at the end and pointed to the stairwell and said "you're on the 16th floor dumbass no one is using the stairs smoke there."
Which I then did so dutifully.
No Dance Is Free
So my older brother got to start this tradition and I hope to carry it on when my son turns 21. All the guys in the family go to Vegas on 21st birthday. We live on the East Coast so it's not a quick car ride from CA.
My uncles, dad, grandpa, and brother were all there. Another memorable moment was seeing my dad walk to the ATM shaking his head. Apparently he thought that when the dancer wanted another dance he thought it was free? 11 years later he still hears jokes about ATMs. Christmas is fun. Grandpa is 87 and still going trucking along!
I bought edibles from a local dispensary. I quickly opened a rice crispy treat and ate the whole thing and prepared for a night of fun.
Well... During the ride on the roller coaster at New York New York, the edible kicked in full blast and left my head spinning. I ended up getting lost and walking 2 miles (I think) in the opposite direction of where I was staying.
I started to freak out, because I was high as a kite and was NOT enjoying myself anymore. I started to cry and have a panic attack until a guy dressed as Elmo helped me get back to my hotel.
Next morning, I woke up and read the packaging. It recommended breaking the rice crispy treat into multiple pieces, and NOT eating it whole. Lesson learned.
When The Truth Is Sadder Than Fiction
I suddenly got very bored hanging out with my friends at a club. I just wasn't feeling it. I abruptly stood up tossed my drink back and said "all right. I'm going to find something different to do."
I can be unpredictable and go harder than them usually. A couple of them were asking what I was doing and wondering if they should join me. I told them to enjoy the club. If sh-t got too crazy I'd text them.
Then I caught an Uber and went to Walmart for snacks, checked to see if they had any of the action figures I collect, and went back to my room and watched Netflix.
The next day they asked what I did and I didn't want to say "I looked for dolls and bought Doritos." And they took my slow response to mean I'd got up to something crazy. "Dammit I knew I should have went with you!"
They can never know.Made up for it on Fremont the next night. We had crazy fun out there. Old Vegas is where it's at.
A Tale For All Families
Oh boy. So about 6 months after I turned 21, my mom(43),brother (24) , grandma (oldish) and I flew down to Vegas. We of course got pretty drunk and made some friends in our hotel casino. Well. Apparently one of the guys had just came up from the Mexican border with some cocaine and other fun stuff.
I sh-t you not, this guy pulls out a f-cking ROCK from his damn sock and puts it on our hotel table. And that's what I remember of the story of how I did cocaine with my mom & brother in Vegas with some random drug pusher while grandma was asleep next door.
Seriously, Keep All Moms Out Of Vegas
Had some beers on Fremont street with my parents, aunt, uncle, and cousins. My mom was sober, but just to be funny she jumped on the fringe of this group of people dancing in a group (not a flash mob or anything, just some drunk people). She doesn't dance usually, mostly just pumping her hands up and down and jumping around (I love it, she's so funny to watch).
One guy turned around and started dancing with her, but he spanked her, and my mom took off like someone shot her in the ass, we all absolutely died laughing.
He Was Living His Best Life?
Walking down the boulevard and a guy jumps on a parked police car, whips his penis out, and starts pissing all over the windshield of the vehicle. Cops jump out of the car while trying to avoid piss and reach for their taser. The speed pisser finishes, jumps off the hood, and narrowly dodges the tase.
He then bolts across the street, but gets hit by a van on the opposite side of the road before he makes it all the way. I'm pretty certain his level of intoxication helped him survive being hit by that van.
Living The "What Happens Here" Lifestyle
I was an Elvis impersonator in one of those high class nudie shows.
I was skinny Elvis in the fat Elvis jumpsuit. And the guitar I used was a stage prop, weighed nothing and didn't make a noise anyone would consider music.
Something Left Behind...
I sharted myself badly in the middle of the Cosmopolitan Casino while trying to find a bathroom. I waddled the rest of the way to said bathroom and waited there for an hour until I was rescued by my brother who was all the way on the other side of the strip.
The underwear I was wearing at the time stayed in Vegas.
...And Something That Came AlongGiphy
Met a drunk girl at a bar (I was also drunk). We start making out in the one narrow hallway in the bar, blocking people from both sides. I left her shortly after that to fly home.
I got her number and Turns out she lives a few towns over from me
5 years later and we got married last August.
EDIT: I thought I left "it" in Vegas. She just followed me home the day after I left and never let me go ;)
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People Confess Which Things They Find Attractive That No One Else Does
People have different thoughts on conventional beauty.
Those who focus on another's physical attributes may find a person's eyes stunningly beautiful. Others may be drawn to their manner of dress or how they wear their hair.
And there are those who appreciate one's inner qualities. Perhaps their affable and friendly nature makes someone more attractive.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that's a relief, because it reinforces the notion that in spite of any flaws, there is someone for everyone.
Curious to hear what strangers online go for when superficially evaluating someone, Classic_Potential_66 asked:
"What is something you find attractive that most people don't?"
Noses get the center of attention here.
Who Nose Why It's Attractive To Them
"I kinda like a prominent nose. Not like a really aquiline nose, or a big shnoz. Just, I dunno, prominent. High bridge of the nose. Dominant facial feature. Hard to explain, I just find a good nose really attractive."
Paying Compliments Is Not Weird
"I was taking the bus to work one night from my classes and there was a guy standing a couple feet away from me. I just glanced up at him cause he sort of swayed and it caught my attention (he was falling asleep lol). The first thing I noticed was his nose, and then his eyes. He just had the most perfect looking nose I've ever seen on a man, and he had the brightest green eyes. It wasn't a small nose, but it wasn't huge either, like it was perfect in every single way and pointed up cutely. It just captivated me for a moment before I remembered I was staring and looked back out the window."
"When I got to my stop I offered him my seat and I still regret not telling him he had a nice nose. I felt like that was way too weird to say. Like how weird would it be to have some girl offer you her seat and say 'by the way, you got a nice nose' and then hurry off the bus lol."
"ETA: Judging by the responses I've gotten on this I'm gonna start telling people nice things about them more often haha. Thank y'all for the courage!"
An Actor's Noted Facial Feature
"Fellow nosephile! I'm on this except I love an aquiline nose, a big schnoz, crooked nose, dominant nose. Any nose that takes center stage does it for me. I love Adrien Brody 😭."
Preference for other facial attributes were mentioned here.
“'Crows feet' - when a middle aged woman smiles, the tiny wrinkles at the corner of her eyes are a reflection of all the smiles she’s ever had. I love it. 🤷🏼♂️"
"Interesting teeth. I have a relatively straight set of natural chompers on me, but I can't stand unnaturally straight teeth. It freaks me out. On the flip side, I love all sorts of 'crooked' teeth. I think they're so unique, cute and attractive. Obviously if they cause pain or discomfort I'm not about it, but there's something just damn magnetizing about someone who confidently rocks atypical teeth."
Personality traits get the spotlight.
"Dry sense of humor. I love people who make me laugh and are nonchalant about it."
A Blessing And A Curse
"I have a dry sense of humor. I don't wish to change it, but it gets me in more trouble than good sometimes because hardly anyone gets it. I think people forget dry humor exists since everything is so exaggerated and in your face these days. I like to deliver a joke like Norm MacDonald."
"Dorkiness/awkward people. I love when people are true to themselves and geek out about things."
Nerds Are "Sexy As Hell"
"Shy slightly nerdy guys. Edit: By this I just mean that a lot of times nerdy guys are a hard nut to crack, and it’s appealing and exciting to have to dig a little to see what’s inside. Nerds are intelligent and that’s sexy as hell. I’m can only speak for myself, but when I was younger I would dismiss the shy ones, which I deeply regret. When I became older, and….seasoned….lol, I started realizing what I was missing out on and I got myself a super sexy shy nerd who I’m blissfully happy with 10 years after meeting him. Im sorry if my original comment implied nobody wanted you nerds. As you can see from the comments, there are plenty of women into you guys😘"
And what about features concerning one's physique? Reddit doesn't disappoint.
"I like women taller than me."
View From Behind
"I like a nice back. Like not the a** but the actual back."
A Defining Mark
"Scars….there is just something about them! Maybe it’s because all scars have a story behind them ."
Defined calves always get my attention.
The bulkiness and definition in the lower part of the legs represent an individual who is active, always on his feet, and is strong enough to carry me through a marathon when my legs give out just a few feet from the finish line.
I can't wait until the warmer summer months to inspire chiseled-calved gentlemen to break out in their khaki shorts for the sole purpose of distracting me.
So, what gets you hot and bothered?
For a television series to take off, its first episode, or pilot, needs to be spectacular.
Indeed, if the pilot doesn't cut it, it will be the only episode of the series that ever gets shot.
Indeed, even as little as 10 minutes into the pilots of This Is Us, Will & Grace, and Ted Lasso, it was clear that viewers were in for a treat, and they weren't disappointed.
That being said, a pilot isn't always guaranteed to be the beginning of a great series.
Sometimes the pilot proves to be the only good episode of the series, with the end result being anything but a Smash (pun intended).
"Which tv show has the strongest first episode?"
The Theme Music Though...
"Six Feet Under."- Ok-Masterpiece-1359
Each And Every Season
Hard To Take Your Eyes Off A Disaster
"Chernobyl."- Mela_MinWhat Is That Oh No GIF by IMDbGiphy
Expectations Were Certainly High
"'Attack on Titan', unironically."- skraaaaw
Season 1 Was Good At Least...
"'Heroes' started off really strongly."- apathyontheeast
The Premise Was Hard To Sustain...
"Designated Survivor."- SadcoreEmpire168keifer sutherland GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
Just About Says It All...
"'Dead Like Me'."
"Any show that has it's main character killed by a flaming toilet seat falling from space within the first ten minutes is okay in my book."- CapnDonal23
People Had A Lot To Say...
"I love introducing people to 'The Boys', just for their reaction to the first episode."- Reggis13
...Still Doesn't Make Up For The Finale Though...
"Can't believe I'm the first one to have written it."- jakec11lost jack GIFGiphy
They Didn't See That Coming
"'Ozark'’s first episode was pretty chill and then whoa."- 1itslizzxoxo
Best Enjoyed With A Little Chianti...
"'Hannibal' sets up the tone for the whole show quite well."- Far_Ad3346
Talking Quickly While Walking Down A Hallway Was Never More Cool...
"The West Wing."- Electrical_Top_7731The West Wing Leadership GIF by NBCGiphy
An Instant Animated Gem...
Beware The Man In Black
"When she slapped that fly my entire watching group went "OH SH*T"- Badloss
Seriously, How Was This Only One Season?
"Freaks and Geeks."- Substantial_Field_60freaks and geeks GIFGiphy
Even if the rest of the series didn't quite live up to expectations, these pilots instantly earned the series a place amongst the television legends.
Even if there's nothing more disappointing than a great pilot leading to a not-so-great series.
Looking at you Glee...
People Break Down Which Crappy Foods Are Actually Delicious
There's a reason they call it junk food.
Being high in calories and saturated fats, and likely made with ingredients of fairly low quality, eating these foods is almost the equivalent of filling your stomach with junk.
However bad for you it is, however, that doesn't mean it isn't delicious.
Indeed, who hasn't from time to time indulged in food that we know won't be beneficial to our weight or cholesterol, but pleases our taste buds to the max?
Often resulting in judgmental glares from others.
Redditor Mister_Moho was curious to learn which foods the junk food which they hold in a high, almost gourmet like regard, leading them to ask:
What "crappy" food is actually delicious?
Two Cheap Meals Make One "Chef's Kiss."
"I had a buddy who’s would combine a box of Kraft Mac and cheese with chicken flavored ramen."
"Put in all the noodles and seasoning and powdered cheese stuff."
"He called it cheesy-chicken and was a treat after a night of drinking."- zaqufantMac And Cheese Cooking GIFGiphy
Much As We Hate To Admit It
"Lets be real, most fast food."- MightOk6869
"I like an old roller hot dog from 7-Eleven."- DahvRom
"7/11 Taquitos."- SBonnarSeven Eleven Shopping GIF by PIXIESGiphy
Don't Be Fooled By The Price
"The cheapest of ramen noodles are still delicious."- shaidyn
Some Things You Just Never Outgrow
"I’ve been a pizza nerd since I bought my first Uuni years ago."
"Geeked on flours, yeast cultures etc."
"Built a wood burning oven."
"Growing up in the ‘70s and ‘80s in a financially struggling household, Friday nights were pizza night.'
"Mom would bring out the Chef Boyardee Pizza kits and I have fond memories of ‘making’ my own pizza as a kid."
"Every once in a while, I’ll pick one up and make one on an old cookie sheet."
"Surprisingly still tastes the same after all these years."
"Still love it."- dolfoxVintage Dancing GIFGiphy
Just Add Water...
"Boxed Mac and Cheese."- soon_zoo55
It's All About The Seasoning
"Properly salted McDonalds French fries."- FireWoman89
If It's Deep Fried, It's Likely Delicious
"I love onion rings!"- djkhan23San Antonio Texas GIF by Bill Miller Bar-B-QGiphy
The Monty Python Gang Would Agree
"Spam fried rice, or spam musubi?"
Inauthentically Mexican, But Who Cares?!
"Taco Bell."- twoplustwoisfourr
"Little Caesar's Pizza."
"Is it as good as other chains?"
"But is it a third of the price and tasty enough to justify getting it?"
"F*ck yea!"- gag0399pizza pickup GIF by Little CaesarsGiphy
No Fruit, No Problem!
"Technically a beverage, but I feel like it fits the spirit of the question."- edemamandllama
Better Than Most Delivery Chains...
"Frozen pizza."- lbug02
A balanced diet is important.
But as long as we don't make a habit of it, there's nothing wrong with indulging every now and again.
Especially if it's on Pizza Hut breadsticks...
People Break Down Which Things No One Looks Good Wearing
The great thing about fashion is that everyone looks good in something different. That’s why we each create our own style.
My best friend avoids gray at all costs since it’s drab and almost depressing.
However, I fill my closet with gray shirts or sweaters since that color makes my skin glow. I can’t wear leather jackets because they make me look like a tiny zombie, while my best friend has a leather jacket in every color since she can pull them off.
With some people being able to pull off items that others can’t, we may not think about the fact that there are some items that no one looks good in. Luckily, Redditors are hear to remind us of exactly that.
It all started when a Redditor asked:
“What does no one look good wearing?”
Do Not Trust The Sales Guy
"Fedora with safari flaps, even if the guy at the store says you’re the only guy he’s ever seen pull it off."
"I’ve never fought for anything in my entire life. I’m fighting for this hat!"
It's All In The Sleeves
"Dimitri Martin explained it well: “I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket and thought, ‘that is cool’. Then I saw a guy in a leather vest and thought ‘that is not cool’. And that’s when I realized that cool is all about leather sleeves.”
The Offensive Stuff
"A shirt that says "FBI: Female Body Inspector""
"Pretty much any shirt that tries to put a "funny" spin on common acronym."
Make America What Again?
"Unless it just says 'political hat'"
Lose Hair, Gain Everything Else
"That ugly cape you have to wear when getting your hair cut"
"Those capes will humble you real quick"
"I suddenly go from two chins to five chins when I have to get my hair cut"
On Your Head
– Deleted User
"Hair nets along the same vein."
I Changed Colors!
"Fake tans that make you look orange"
"I'd say any fake tan for that matter. They never look right IMO."
"Any t shirt claiming your birth month gives you special powers or you are owned by your significant other. So tacky"
Wash Your Clothes!
"By contrast, I take people more seriously if they have mustard on their face."
"Rat tail hair style"
"I was a kid when this was fashionable and all the biggest jerks at school wore rat tails. I always wanted to try yanking on one of them just once but could never work up the nerve."
A Different Kind Of Accessory
"2 liters of cologne."
"Well technically you could look cool you’d just need to be downwind and in a different building XD"
"Those f*cking hiking shoes with the individual toes."
"Those Walmart t-shirts with gangsta looney toons characters. Like taz with a Rolex rolling dice and flashing cash. Bonus points if the shirt sparkles."
"13yr old me feels very targeted."
“Skin colored leggings. It always gives me a "wth" moment before I realize what is happening.”
“Saw someone wearing skin colour leggings that had that weird scrunched up butt thing.”
saw a lady at the airport once who just was wearing a SLIGHTLY oversized hoodie and no pants. i wish she was wearing skin-colored leggings.
All I know is, you can never go wrong in your favorite sweats, which basically make up my entire wardrobe!