Going to Vegas brings a certain level of discretion, thanks to a brilliant marketing campaign from the early 2000s telling us what happens in Vegas must remain in Vegas. Your trips' nastiest bits aren't for social media. Instead, they'll be relegated to your memories, tucked away into the deep folds of your mind. You know...until the next time you go, and do something awful again.
Reddit user, u/MommmyDearest, wanted people to open and share the worst of the worst when they asked:
For those who have been to Las Vegas —What's your "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" story?
All Part Of The Job
I warn that this isn't super exciting. I went to my sister's wedding in Vegas. I stayed in a hotel room with my dad.
He was asleep upstairs while I was downstairs playing blackjack. When I went upstairs, I was approached by two women offering to have a "good time"
I said no thanks, but they asked me why not. I just said "Oh I'm sharing a room"
They said "That's fine, we can do two people"
I said "Well, it's my dad"
They said "We're still fine with that"
Not What You Were ThinkingGiphy
Man I have the lamest verision of this ever.
I had a job interview in Vegas, it was in Nov. or Dec. Two years back and I had put on some "winter weight." Didnt realize quiet how much. Dropped my portfolio with my resume and writing sample and sh-t walking to the interview.
Bent down to pick it up.
Tore my suit pants in the crotch, had to hold my portfolio awkwardly over my lap the whole interview. Didn't get the job.
Have never told that story, when everyone asked how it went I just said "fine" and then acted suprised when I didn't get the job.
So uh, I guess being so fat I tore my suit was a story that up until now stayed in Vegas.
Just...Close Your Eyes...
I've lived there for 18 years, but went away for college. I recently went back to Vegas for a school-sponsored event, meaning I got to experience it as a tourist. Saw a homeless person hooking up underneath a blanket, accidentally made eye contact. Worst half second of my life.
Fell in love with a porn star, spent thursday through monday acting like a couple.
Felt different once we got to the real world.
Its a tie for me
At the bar of a busy casino on the strip (the Flamingo) a very drunk (possibly on drugs) mountain survivalist from Idaho with a fu-manchu mustache pulled a gun on my wife and I because of how excited he was to show it off "in case he ran into trouble".
Saw a Go-go dancer fall off a table and horribly break her leg, she was (probably) on drugs and tried to get back up to dance more. It didn't work.
An Almost Tragic End
Spring break, 21 years old. Me and my best friend got blackout drunk and tried to get married in the hotel chapel cause it'd be funny. We texted our 4 other friends to come to the ceremony. 3 of them were also blackout drunk and asleep, but our 4th friend who didn't drink stopped us.
That's Why They Have No Smoking Rooms
I accidentally set the fire alarms off on the 16th floor of the flamingo cuz I rolled a 5 gram baby leg of bud I got from a dispensary and smoked it in our room. I was frantically trying everything to shut it off before security rolls through and makes me fan a pillow at it for 20 minutes and then left.
My arms hurt so bad after doing that but f-ck I was not trying to get smoke damage charges or some other bullsh-t. Dude pulled me down the hallway at the end and pointed to the stairwell and said "you're on the 16th floor dumbass no one is using the stairs smoke there."
Which I then did so dutifully.
No Dance Is Free
So my older brother got to start this tradition and I hope to carry it on when my son turns 21. All the guys in the family go to Vegas on 21st birthday. We live on the East Coast so it's not a quick car ride from CA.
My uncles, dad, grandpa, and brother were all there. Another memorable moment was seeing my dad walk to the ATM shaking his head. Apparently he thought that when the dancer wanted another dance he thought it was free? 11 years later he still hears jokes about ATMs. Christmas is fun. Grandpa is 87 and still going trucking along!
I bought edibles from a local dispensary. I quickly opened a rice crispy treat and ate the whole thing and prepared for a night of fun.
Well... During the ride on the roller coaster at New York New York, the edible kicked in full blast and left my head spinning. I ended up getting lost and walking 2 miles (I think) in the opposite direction of where I was staying.
I started to freak out, because I was high as a kite and was NOT enjoying myself anymore. I started to cry and have a panic attack until a guy dressed as Elmo helped me get back to my hotel.
Next morning, I woke up and read the packaging. It recommended breaking the rice crispy treat into multiple pieces, and NOT eating it whole. Lesson learned.
When The Truth Is Sadder Than Fiction
I suddenly got very bored hanging out with my friends at a club. I just wasn't feeling it. I abruptly stood up tossed my drink back and said "all right. I'm going to find something different to do."
I can be unpredictable and go harder than them usually. A couple of them were asking what I was doing and wondering if they should join me. I told them to enjoy the club. If sh-t got too crazy I'd text them.
Then I caught an Uber and went to Walmart for snacks, checked to see if they had any of the action figures I collect, and went back to my room and watched Netflix.
The next day they asked what I did and I didn't want to say "I looked for dolls and bought Doritos." And they took my slow response to mean I'd got up to something crazy. "Dammit I knew I should have went with you!"
They can never know.Made up for it on Fremont the next night. We had crazy fun out there. Old Vegas is where it's at.
A Tale For All Families
Oh boy. So about 6 months after I turned 21, my mom(43),brother (24) , grandma (oldish) and I flew down to Vegas. We of course got pretty drunk and made some friends in our hotel casino. Well. Apparently one of the guys had just came up from the Mexican border with some cocaine and other fun stuff.
I sh-t you not, this guy pulls out a f-cking ROCK from his damn sock and puts it on our hotel table. And that's what I remember of the story of how I did cocaine with my mom & brother in Vegas with some random drug pusher while grandma was asleep next door.
Seriously, Keep All Moms Out Of Vegas
Had some beers on Fremont street with my parents, aunt, uncle, and cousins. My mom was sober, but just to be funny she jumped on the fringe of this group of people dancing in a group (not a flash mob or anything, just some drunk people). She doesn't dance usually, mostly just pumping her hands up and down and jumping around (I love it, she's so funny to watch).
One guy turned around and started dancing with her, but he spanked her, and my mom took off like someone shot her in the ass, we all absolutely died laughing.
He Was Living His Best Life?
Walking down the boulevard and a guy jumps on a parked police car, whips his penis out, and starts pissing all over the windshield of the vehicle. Cops jump out of the car while trying to avoid piss and reach for their taser. The speed pisser finishes, jumps off the hood, and narrowly dodges the tase.
He then bolts across the street, but gets hit by a van on the opposite side of the road before he makes it all the way. I'm pretty certain his level of intoxication helped him survive being hit by that van.
Living The "What Happens Here" Lifestyle
I was an Elvis impersonator in one of those high class nudie shows.
I was skinny Elvis in the fat Elvis jumpsuit. And the guitar I used was a stage prop, weighed nothing and didn't make a noise anyone would consider music.
Something Left Behind...
I sharted myself badly in the middle of the Cosmopolitan Casino while trying to find a bathroom. I waddled the rest of the way to said bathroom and waited there for an hour until I was rescued by my brother who was all the way on the other side of the strip.
The underwear I was wearing at the time stayed in Vegas.
...And Something That Came AlongGiphy
Met a drunk girl at a bar (I was also drunk). We start making out in the one narrow hallway in the bar, blocking people from both sides. I left her shortly after that to fly home.
I got her number and Turns out she lives a few towns over from me
5 years later and we got married last August.
EDIT: I thought I left "it" in Vegas. She just followed me home the day after I left and never let me go ;)
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People Describe How They Survived Near Death Experiences
As morbid as it is, death is the inevitable yin to life's yang.
The inevitable end of our mortality looms ahead for all of us, but hopefully it's not for a long time.
That doesn't mean there are close calls along the way.
Not everyone is fortunate, but there are the lucky few who somehow managed to cheat death and lived to talk about their close calls.
Curious to hear from those who were granted another chance at life, Redditor CrownedBird asked:
"What moment made you say 'Yep, I’m definitely dead', but survived with no major injuries?"
I Exist Because Mom Ducked
"Not me, but my mom before I was born. She was riding in a convertible with a friend of hers. They came to an intersection and the friend wasn't paying attention and lost control of the vehicle. There was a big rig going through the intersection and they went right under the trailer. My mom ducked, the driver didn't not. Driver was decapitated, my mom was lucky and only ended up with a scalp full of glass and some serious psychological trauma. She had to get over 200 stitches in her scalp But nothing else significant."
"I think about it all the time and think how close I came to never being born at all."
"I was at the end of a 2 hour journey about 10 mins from home, pretty rural and I was probably complacent because I took that road everyday. I took a bend at 40MPH (legal limit was 60MPH so wasn’t breaking any speeding rules) which I’ve done many times before, probably faster which looking back was really reckless."
"Didn’t see until it was too late that a car had spun out on the other side of the corner and another car had pulled up to help. I slammed on but I wasn’t going to stop in time before hitting the cars pulled up/crashed. I was hurtling straight towards the other cars and people who where stood in the road from the other crash."
"It was like time slowed down and I was at a cross roads; in my mind I had three choices. Continue on my path and hit the other cars and people, veer to the right and go into a field but there was oncoming traffic and there was a chance I’d hit them or veer to the left and fly into a wooded area. I chose the last option, and in that moment I knew the chances of me surviving or not being seriously injured after a 40MPH head on collision to a tree in a 10 year old Ford KA was pretty slim. I just felt a complete peace come over me, turned the wheel and woke up slumped over the steering wheel to some poor man shouting ‘OMG I THINK SHES DEAD.’"
"Turned out I passed out from shock or something before the impact so when I hit the tree I was completely floppy and this contributed to me having no serious injuries. The front of my car was completely disintegrated, after coming to I tried to put my clutch down to take the car out of gear out of habit and my foot hit the tree trunk. The tree was absolutely fine. I drove past that tree everyday for years after and you could see the chunk my car took out of it."
That Strange, Calm Feeling
"I was a passenger in an accident where the car went airborne and was flipped into a concrete ditch, and knew on the way down that I was going to die. Had that same feeling of peace and just accepted it. Crossed my arms, closed my eyes, and felt so bizarrely calm. We hit, opened my eyes, and realized I was upside down but completely fine. Rest of the car was smashed flat, and driver had been thrown into my passenger 'safe bubble,' so he only had minor injuries. That feeling of peace you described is what made me comment. It makes me feel more at ease about my eventual death, hopefully will have that same calm feeling."
The result of peer pressure can be a matter of life or death.
"I had an idiot friend and we were hiking. We got to this waterfall and he goes 'dude let's climb it!' I said no f'king way. He says 'well I'm gonna do it and if I fall and die it's on you for not coming.'"
"So I climbed it with him. Got stuck halfway up on a slick a** rock. Pinched a nerve in my shoulder, so my right arm was useless. I thought I was certain to slip off the rock to my doom, but we managed to get me unstuck. That was the beginning of the end for that friendship."
Jill Came Tumbling After
"I nearly died following a friend who took a crazy route down a hill on a hike. It's crazy how strong that peer pressure can be."
"We were up on a mountain and he slid down the snow of this one section as a short cut. He went down in a crouch with one foot out front. When I tried to do it I ended up a starfish pose just spinning around as I came down. My legs rolled over a bunch of rocks and I came to a rest with my head in a snowbank."
"I had to hike down hill for like 4 hours after that and every step was excruciating. I just kept thinking if it was my head or back going over those rocks if I would have made it out. I still have scars on my leg."
Fortunately, there are heroes among us who don't want us dead.
The Guardian Angels
"Wife was pregnant and we went away for the weekend to house we rented in the mountains. Second day she went to bed early and I stayed up drawing. At 3am she comes downstairs and says she’s in a world of pain and is worried about baby (2 months before due date)."
"We head out and there is no cell reception. By the time we can call her doctor we realize the time needed to get to a hospital that has the right level NICU we might as well head back to our hospital. Two hours later we are there and due to Covid restrictions I can’t come in."
"It was freezing outside and they wouldn’t let me be anywhere in the hospital where I could lay down so I talked my way into some room in the lobby and tried to sleep while sitting. Got kicked out of there and just bummed around waiting for an update. Around noon they say they’ll be keeping her for observation but I still need to clear out from the rental."
"Driving back two hours and it starts snowing pretty hard. It’s a semi rural area and if they do plow the snow they haven’t gotten there yet. I’m being careful and fighting off sleep. The roads are super winding and high in the mountains. At some point car starts drifting across the double lines."
"I did my best to even out but it completely got away from me. Slide through the opposite lane and continue to the shoulder. I see the ledge and realize if the car doesn’t stop I’ll plummet to my death. Have a brief moment where I think about my daughter and the kid in my wife’s belly I haven’t met yet. Felt like a stab in my heart and that second go off the road completely."
"Fortunately there was enough snow in the space between the ledge to trap my car. I passed out in the crash but luckily a couple was a minute or two behind me and their honking snapped me out of it. They pulled me out of the car and went to get help (no service on the mountain). A couple of other people stopped including a guy who had a big pickup. We dug the car out some and rigged the rope so he was able to pull me out."
"Despite Covid I had to be physically removed from both these guys because I was hugging them so tight. I was able to make it back to the hospital without anyone knowing. Told them after the kid was born. Sent my guardian angels pictures and $100 gift cards as if that’s adequate."
Rescue With Assistance
"I was a senior in high school, and the student club I was in organized an unofficial beach trip towards the end of the year; no teachers or official permission, leaving me and a few other seniors in charge of supervising everything. After a couple hour’s worth of fun, one of the other students came running up to me and said that three of the younger members of the club had been swept out by a riptide and couldn’t get back towards the shore."
"Me and two other of the older students, all experienced swimmers, immediately went to go help them; my friends got two of the three kids in trouble and started guiding them parallel to the shore to get them out of the current, but the guy I went for was panicking, barely staying above the water, and started dragging me down with him almost immediately. I yelled for people to get a lifeguard and tried to keep both of us afloat, but after a few minutes (maybe five, maybe ten, it felt like forever) I was getting exhausted, having trouble keeping both of us above the water, and I couldn’t see anyone coming to the rescue."
"I started getting big mouthfuls of water and my leg muscles were starting to cramp up, and I remember thinking 'Holy sh*t I might actually die right here, right now' as the current started pulling us further and further away from where everyone was."
"Thankfully for everyone involved, one of the students on the beach had flagged down a couple of surfers, who made their way out to where we were as quickly as they could and hauled first the younger student and then me onto the front of their boards and took us back to shore. I’ll always be thankful and appreciative for those strangers who put themselves in the dangerous position of rescuing two drowning swimmers."
"Edit: As several people have pointed out, it’s not uncommon for people to die doing what I did, i.e swimming into the water to rescue a drowning swimmer without training or equipment; there are a few techniques for rescuing someone drowning in the comments that everyone should learn if they’re ever in the unfortunate situation of having to use them. I should’ve used them, but I was 17 and not thinking straight at the time and almost paid the price because of it."
I nearly got smashed by a 18-wheeler driven by a drunkard who was swerving in and out of his side of traffic.
I had to decided to either swerve into oncoming traffic to avoid a more devastating head-on collision or into the row of parked cars on the busy street.
I chose the latter just as the semi clipped the rear corner of my vehicle and spun me 180.
I didn't hit any parked cars, but my vehicle was inoperable. The semi was nowhere to be found but I was more focused on the fact that I came out of that scary situation completely unscathed.
I continue counting my blessings to this day.
People Divulge The Least Fun Facts They Know
A "fun fact" refers to a piece of information that might not be widely known.
Though, the "fun" in "fun fact" is often widely debatable.
Indeed, more often than not, people find or are told a "fun fact" about anything from an animal species to a famous celebrity which might make them want to cry or even throw up.
"What is a NOT fun fact?"
Consdider Putting A Newspaper Down First...
"Bus seats are designed so that you cannot tell how dirty they really are."- SmallAndScarred
Alone in The Ocean...
"There is a whale called 52 Blue that only sings at their frequency meaning it can't communicate with other whales."
"It is nicknamed the loneliest whale on the planet."- TheLegendaryJet
Definitely Not Dry As a Bone...
"Your skeleton is w e t."- Genesis-BaeDance Halloween GIF by aurelGiphy
Puts The Movement in Bowel Movement
"Your intestines will 'wriggle' themselves back into the correct position."
"Doctors who do any type of intestinal surgery don’t have to worry, too much, about how they put the intestines back in."-H010CR0N
Body And Soul Is An Understatement
"A certain type of angler fish reproduce via the Male burrowing into the side of the female, eventually fusing."
"The Male life is lost in the process."- Allceleatial
Never Actually Free
"People who survived the Holocaust and get Alzheimer's often think they are back in the camps."
"So they escape one of humanity's greatest horrors only to die in it 50 years later."- digitaldavegordon
One And The Same
"If you are an identical twin it is possible that you and your siblings identity’s were swapped and your parents never caught it."- m00n-b4b3shining stanley kubrick GIFGiphy
You're Not Fooling Anyone
"Sometimes you're the bad guy."- StrenuouslySexy
Worth The Pain And Discomfort?
"When you get a sunburn, it's actually your cells dying so they don't get tumorous." - Reddit
Lasting A Long Time Might Be Cause For Concern...
"The reason you’re supposed to contact a doctor if you have an erection lasting longer than four hours is because prolonged priapism can lead to gangrene of the penis."
"Blood goes in, deoxygenates, but can’t leave, so there’s no way for fresh oxygenated blood to come in, causing the tissue to turn black and die."
"Don’t worry, though!"
"This can be treated by using a big syringe to suck the trapped blood out."- boopbaboop·someone erection GIFGiphy
When sharing a "fun fact" with a friend, it might be worthwhile to think about the information you're about to share.
And whether or not it is, in fact, "fun".
Instead, maybe share a tidbit, or "info"?
Even if neither roll of the tongue quite as easily...
Professionals Confess Industry Secrets From Their Chosen Field
We've all heard some conspiracy theories about certain businesses, most of which are outrageously false.
That laundromats are simply a facade for shadier practices (including, not so ironically, money laundering) or that the Coca-Cola company invented "New Coke" with the express purpose of improving sales on original Coke.
But every now and then, we can't help but wonder what really goes on behind closed doors in certain professions.
And are eager to hear all the juicy tidbits from people working in that industry.
"What’s an industry secret in the field you work in?"
Literal Money Grabbing Machines
"I design slot machines for casinos."
"Don’t play slots."- psychfan5
Speak When Spoken To!
"I'm an attorney."
"The secret is shut the f*ck up."- --IIII--------IIII--
They Are In Good Hands
"Managed boarding and grooming kennels for 8 years."
"The secret is that the employees actually do love your pets too."
"Even the difficult ones, most of us realize they just miss their people."
"The number of times I’ve weeped when a pet died, or spent way too many hours comforting a dog with separation anxiety, or spent hours off the clock with a boarder who needed to be rushed to a vet office, wouldn’t trade it for the world."
"Some pets just suck though, not gonna lie."- breadandbirdsDogs Stripping GIF by Artero Professional LineGiphy
They Just Want To Go Home!
"I'm a server."
"No matter how much we insist it's 'okay' that you are keeping the entire restaurant open after we've closed, please know we are 100% lying."
"We will get fired if we deviate from anything other than pure delight that you are keeping us from going home."
"We dread it."
"Please don't believe us."- MorddSith187
Don't Be Fooled By The Price
"I used to work in jewelry."
"Most of the prettiest gemstones are also very affordable."
"Tanzanite is a beautiful purple and looks nicer than amethyst."
"Topaz comes in lots of colors, including a pretty blue color which can be as nice as aquamarine."
"Opals aren't as brightly rainbow hued as they look in pictures."- rubicks56
What Are You Looking At?!?!
"Almost every hairstylist gets the heebie jeebies when we shampoo your hair and you just stare up at us."
"CLOSE. YOUR. DAMN. EYES at the shampoo bowl!"- picklemetimberzzHair Wash GIF by ALLBLK (formerly known as UMC)Giphy
You're More Qualified Than You Think!
"Used to screen resumes for small companies."
"Job 'requirements' are more of a wish-list situation."
"Never let some unchecked boxes deter you from applying, you have no idea what the applicant pool is like."
"The biggest boon, especially at small companies, is someone who legitimately cares."- TwoPesetas
If You Wonder What Makes It So Delicious...
"There is way more butter than you think in almost every dish you eat at fancy restaurants, and that is usually the reason you won't see the amount of calories in each dish."
"5 years as a chef in Italian cuisine head chef, 8 years in an Italian kitchen."
" f I could recomend one guide book for you all to have in your kitchen it would be Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat: Mastering the Elements of Good Cooking by Samin Nosrat."
"Yes there are a plethora of others but this one is my personal favorite."- BackslashR
That's Why It Smells So Familiar!
"Former bath and body works associate here."
"The scents they 'discontinue' will come back with a different name and new marketing."
"They’re just recycling the scents."- xyenz08Bath And Body Works Perfume GIF by Bath & Body Works Asia AustraliaGiphy
Nothing Wrong With A Second Opinion
"Some therapists/counselors are on the wrong side of the couch, so to speak."
"If you feel your mental health provider is unhinged, they may very well be."- FriktionalTales
Hearing secrets about certain industries divulged can be a blessing and a curse.
No one would complain about not wasting their money away on slot machines.
Though, health conscious people might not want to know what really goes into their food when they go out to eat...
People Divulge How They Really Feel About A 4-Day Work Week
Finding a healthy work/life balance is extremely difficult.
Depending on their jobs, some people are barely home in time to spend any quality time with their loved ones, and weekends are hardly relaxing, as they are often devoted to chores and errands.
These are only a few reasons many people have pushed to adopt four day work weeks.
And while there seem to be multiple advantages to one's mental health and self-esteem, could eliminating 8 hours of work possibly have any downsides to it?
"How do you feel about a 4 day work week?"
Improve Mental Health
"Working a 5 day work week just makes life seem so much more pointless."
"By the time I get the other things I need to do, grocery shopping, appointments, etc., done, it's Sunday night."
"A 4 day work week might give me time to play the piano I bought to combat depression."- IHateCarShopping123
It Works, As Long As You Go All Or Nothing...
"My employer gives us every other Friday off."
"We work 80 hours over 9 days (M-F, M-Th)."
"It’s really helpful to have those Fridays to schedule appointments, and I have less desire to burn PTO throughout the year just to take a much-needed Friday off."
"Through the end of October, I had only used 2.5 PTO hours for the year, mostly for doctor’s visit.
"The only real downside is that on the Fridays that we do work, nobody wants to do anything."- MuppetHolocaust
No Downside Whatsoever
"My company switched to 4 10 hour days."
"We are diesel technicians and work 7-5:30."
"Half of us work Monday through Thursday and the other half work Tuesday through Friday."
"We have did this for over two years and we all love it."
"It is so nice to have a three day weekend every week."
"Another thing about it that is nice is if you doctors appointment or something I can make it on a Monday and don’t have to miss any work."
"Plus I forgot to mention having a two month this helps out a ton."
"More time for me to be with my wife and daughter."
"And if there is a lot to do I can just come in on Monday and boom 10 hours of overtime."- skatermofo101Working For The WeekendGiphy
But Would You Hate Tuesdays?...
"I would probably hate Mondays less."- tonksdc
So Much More Time To Devote To House And Home!
"Life would be that much better."
"I would have somewhere around 50 extra days a year to do all the yard work and home projects that I don't want to spend all weekend doing."- forman98
Yet It Still Hasn't Caught On?
"They talked about this in the 70s."
"Yay everyone said."
"My dad did it."
"He worked 4 12+ hr days and took off Friday."
"Everyone else was like, if I work the 12 hrs the 4 days plus another 12, I can make even more money!"
"Yay!"- implodemodeExcited Jonah Hill GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Show Me The Money!
"Provided there's no drop in salary, f*cking brilliant."- PM_ME_CURVES_OR_TOES
A Weekend Could Actually Feel Like A Weekend!
"I would gladly work 4 ten hour days to have an extra day off."
"2 day weekends are too short."
"They’re gone just as soon as you start to feel comfortable."- witdaSlime
When companies and organizations were forced to regroup and restructure when the global pandemic first hit in March of 2020, several companies also took the opportunity to re-evaluate their operations in the long term.
With all the evidence suggesting an overall improvement to everyone's mental and physical well-being that a four day work week provides, one can only hope it becomes more commonplace with each passing year.