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People Air Their Toxic Traits And They're Relatable AF

None of us are perfect and recognizing our faults helps us grow. Some traits are far harder to overcome than others, like being easily angered, or too jealous, or the need to always be a victim.

Moist-giraffe asked: What's a toxic trait that YOU have?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


Why? *Gestures broadly*

Sometimes I can just complain and complain and complain without even realizing how negative I'm being. You don't realize how much energy complaining/negativity takes out of you until you make the conscious decision to stop doing it. I'm working on it, but some days are still difficult.

tgov5

It's especially hard when you have a job you hate. I've started to realize that I complain to others about it a lot, and I'm sure it gets annoying. But, damn is it hard not to complain when I'm at a place I hate for 9 hours every. single. day. Sh*t is draining.

ForeseablePast

That just means knowing you is a privilege.

I don't open up unless asked direct questions, and then I wonder why no one seems interested in my life.

wrenny20

I'm the opposite. I'm constantly oversharing, or I try to empathise with people by telling them a story of something similar that happened to me, and it probably comes across as me being self-obsessed.

peace-and-bong-life

That's interesting - I can see how you are trying to be empathic but also how it could come across as self-obsessed.

wrenny20

I'm 28 and it's only recently occurred to me how it might be interpreted. I just don't know how else to empathise I guess?

peace-and-bong-life

This will only get you so far.

In an argument or any kind of confrontation I have to be the victim. I'm getting pretty good at identifying it quicker and owning up to it, but it's my go-to reaction.

MrsPajamaPants

Any idea how to explain to someone that they do this? My roommate and best friend of 10 years always does this. No matter what the initial problem is, somehow I'm berating her, and she's just stupid, and that's all anyone ever thinks of her... it's exhausting.

Edit: Thanks for all the great replies everyone. I feel like I've already tried a lot of these, but it's nice to know I'm not the only person whose loved someone like this. I'm going to try what /u/mrspajamapants suggested, and attempt to use more "I" statements, rather than "you," as I feel this might work, and I haven't tried it yet. I really hope it can work, because I love her dearly, but it's getting worse, and tearing our friendship apart.

Edit 2: I feel I should also add (in case she sees this, as she's a Redditor too), that this is not the only thing tearing the friendship apart, but it makes the other problems harder to deal with when our discussions always lead to the same place.

PM_TITS_and_LOCATION

What are feelings?

I am extremely bad at expressing my feelings, which often leads people to think I'm not interested etc. I've hurt a few people by being downright stupid and a coward.

SirChickenWing

I used to be like this, and some ways still am. I was especially not good at telling people they have hurt me or saying no. I did not want to say no because I was a people pleaser, either did not want to hurt their feelings or wanted them to have a good opinion of me.

I was also not good at telling people they have hurt me, so instead I bottled up and resulted to subtle ways of punishing them by ignoring them or using the silent treatment, or just doing subtle and petty things to "punish" them such as being late when asked to meet, not calling them, etc.

An entire series of events, including depression and an abusive relationship finally led me to a therapist's office. It was there that I finally understood that the way I dealt with conflict was unhealthy. Suppressing hurt feelings caused by conflict was not a solution, neither was indiscriminately releasing them. What I needed was a safe and constructive release valve.

When I started to utilize the techniques given to me by my therapists, such as creative arts and physical exercises as a source for venting, I noticed that there were changes in my relationship and something unexpected happen. I felt as if some people wanted me to react to them in the way that I used to. They did not like that I would constructively confront them after they had done something that displeased me and preferred the silent, petty, childish treatment or they did not like that I would say no to them.

I have come to learn that sometimes others can exacerbate some character traits, even toxic ones. Once they get used to your reactions, they categorize you and put you in a box. When you try to step out of that box, they want to squeeze you right back in.

Sometime, it is not toxic character traits, sometimes it is toxic relationships, including non romantic ones.

AgeOfWomen

Like Reddit?

Procrastination, laziness, and the seeming inability to stick with anything long term.

UltimateAnswer42

Literally reading this while I'm supposed to be studying...

pres_germany

For real, can I just finish something meaningful in my life? I never finished community college. Like it's not the full blown version of college, it's college for beginners (and people trying to save money). I didn't finish that. Or my A+ cert. Why can't I finish anything other than a TV series or a pint of Ben & Jerry's?

Dirrrtsanchez

If you're anything like me. A fear of failure. A desire for perfection that can't be reasonably met so why bother?

Edit: pretty sure this is actually anxiety. Plagued by thoughts of "what will everyone else think of it's not amazing?"

OffByAByte

You gotta believe in yourself.

I have a penchant for self-destruction. If things go my way, I f*ck it up somehow. Jobs, relationships, school. I am doing good and suddenly, f*ck it all up.

Narcius

I feel this. Do you think that you overtly torpedo things or is it more of a subconscious thing? Do you have a fear that the bad outcome is going to happen immediately so you might as well speed it along? Do you have a sense that you don't deserve good outcomes? I'm not asking to psychoanalyze you but because I'm looking for insight on my own behavior.

PopeMargaretReagan

Me too. For me I think it comes down to some kind of subconscious self-hatred. I constantly end up trying to destroy things for myself and I don't know why.

420toker

It's difficult for some people to relinquish control.

I have a bad habit of not trusting other people to do things right.

PhoenixLord01

Counterpoint: Have you SEEN other people?!

Beauregard_Slate

You make a compelling argument.

PhoenixLord01

I have this too. I can be such a perfectionist at times, and nobody ever does things to my standard. I've been told (by more than one therapist!) that I have too high standards, in regards to myself, but I can see that I hold those same standards I have for myself true for others as well. Which probably isn't fair.

NightimePhobia

Color me green every time I open Instagram.

I have a jealous streak that I just can't kick, or better yet don't know how to kick. I have it but I can't change it

Moist-giraffe

Fight the urge of checking up on your SO. Finding no evidence of wrongdoing will just give you a short term release. In the long run it just feeds the notion that something is wrong and enables you to keep doing it until you find something that may or may bot be a big deal. I think this is what causes/caused my jealosy, and just resisting it is the only thing that seems to work. Won't change anything in the near future, but you'll thank yourself in a few years.

hotdogmotherf*cker

Don't sweat petty things and don't pet sweaty things.

My anger gets to the best of me..

Simply_A_Martian

Mine too. I yell and become really, really mean when I'm angry. It's always embarrassing to remember afterwards and I have suffered the demise of many a relationship.

I really need to work on this.

Airyelic

Likewise. I get so wound up over the most innocuous little things. To the point where my wife has called it "scary", which is terrible for her. It's never physical. It's never directed at another person. But I think the fact that I can be that angry over something that's NOT another person is confounding to her 😫

keepaustinwired

When you can't get out of your own head.

Overthinking everything to the point of stagnation.

F*ckDataCaps

This is me too. I can catch myself overthinking but I can't ever do anything about it. Would really like to know how some people are able to just stop themselves.

sorata_no_baka

I have problems with that too and I think I found a solution for my problem. Everytime I want to do things I count down from three and then just do what I wanted to do. This doesn't work with everything sadly.

BleachOrder

People Who Actually Died And Were Revived Share Their Experiences

"Reddit user AlaskaStiletto asked: 'Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?'"

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.