They always say, don't meet your heroes. But here's the thing- sometimes your heroes are actually just chill, normal people. This can be refreshing in a world of egos.
A Quora user asked: Who's the nicest celebrity you've ever met?
What a nice person.
OK, the women of Quora are the nicest celebrities I have ever met on line.
But … face-to-face? That would be Priscilla Presley.
Now, I've met other influential people. Politicians, including one foreign president, and Generals, including briefing General Powell. Celebrities? Not really.
But Priscilla Presley???!!!
She is one of the nicest, most decent, smartest and stunningly beautiful women I have ever met, and she is definitely a celebrity.
One of? That is to protect myself from the other nice and beautiful women I have met and will meet.
August 16 2007. Elvis's 30th Death Anniversary. Priscilla was a STUNNING 62. I was a younger 43. She had finished an interview with Larry King at Graceland.
Work … as usual. High pressure.
Finished the day at BB King's Place AKA Blues Club on Beale Street in Memphis, Tennessee.
Beale Street puts the French Quarter in New Orleans, Old City Savannah Georgia, Duval Street Key West, and Fisherman's Wharf San Francisco on notice. Etc.
Having a beer at the bar.
A Big Guy sits down, and we start talking. Great Guy!
"Fred, I really enjoyed talking with you."
"John, I enjoyed talking with you. What did you say you do when you are not on Beale Street wasting your time with guys like me?"
He looked down. "Fred, I play football."
"Great! What college?"
"I'm a Pro." Very humble!
"Wow. Now that is interesting. Titans?"
"Yes. Let me do a favor for you, Fred. How'd you like to meet Priscilla Presley?"
"Your kidding! Of course. Thanks!"
"Fred, wait here."
Crowded place. Big place. Nice guy AKA Great guy. Loved talking to him. That's the last time I'll ever see him. Oh, well. C'Est la Vie.
I finished my beer and looked up. It was John. And I mean up. I'm 5′11″. He had to be 6′4″. "Let's go, Fred. She's upstairs in the VIP Room."
"John, upstairs? This is a one story tall building."
"VIP room on the roof. There is the entrance."
Three guys at the door in a far corner. Open collar shirts. Blazers. Clearly packing heat. We walked over. "Hi Mr. Schlimm. Mrs. Presley is looking forward to seeing you."
Door opens. Not searched. Is this real? And who the hell is John. More ESPN for me!!!
Landing. Two guys. "Hi Fred, she's upstairs." WTF!!!???
"Hi Fred." Door opened. John must have some serious juice. Silly me. More ESPN. He's got to be All Pro. NFL Pro doesn't get this with Priscilla on Elvis's 30th Death Anniversary near Graceland.
And as my eyes adjusted, I saw Lisa Marie, whatever she was married to at that time, other people, beautiful room, and the most beautiful creature I ever saw gliding towards me.
Took my hand. Other on my shoulder. Smile. "Hi Fred, John told us a lot about you. You look hungry. Join us for dinner."
WHO IS JOHN. WHY DID HE TALK TO ME. AND PRISCILLA PRESLEY!!!???
The rest of the evening was very decent and a bit foggy.
Got to Olive Branch, Mississippi. Typical 2.5 Star Hotel for expense account. Slept a few hours. Exhausted. Headed for work in Biloxi. I turned on the TV. Repeat of Larry King Live at Graceland. Yep. That was Priscilla before dinner. Lights. Makeup artists. Prepared questions.
She was better looking and charmingly spontaneous in person.
She was the nicest celebrity I ever met. More importantly, a wonderful person.
So was John. MORE ESPN FOR ME!!!
That's actually kind of surprising.Giphy
The first celebrity I ever worked for was Joan Rivers. Fashion Police. Red Carpet Heckler. The original "Mean Girl!"
I was terrified. They said they needed someone who was really good. I was an OK seamstress at the time and probably far from being really good, but I decided I could fake it.
I went to the store and bought $100 worth of every random sewing supply I could find within my budget. I lamented over what I should wear. I arrived an hour early because I wanted to make sure I got to the venue on time.
It was pouring rain as it does in Florida, when Mrs Rivers came rolling in the back door of the theater with a giant umbrella, a soaking wet assistant and her luggage.
I was waiting for her in her dressing room. I had all my sewing stuff in a neat little pile, ready for any kind of wardrobe malfunction known to man.
She came in, and her assistant and I started getting her unpacked.
She was soooo kind and chatty I was floored. She asked me where I was from, did I have kids and all kinds of other very "interested in me" normal, conversational questions as we were unpacking her.
She had everything crammed into her little suitcase like a Mary Poppins bag.
She had giant cue cards with her jokes written on them, four or five fancy beaded and feathered stage and after-show outfits and an enormous hot pink feather coat that looked like big bird and Barney had a baby! It was barfing pink feathers everywhere, some I still have.
Then she pulled out an industrial size can of Lysol and started spraying it everywhere. All over her chair, table and then she went into the bathroom with it.
She came out and instructed me not to let anyone use her restroom including me! She was sweet, cute and funny and reminded me of my grandmother.
We set out all of her makeup, her glorious perfume, her Sharpie eyeliner, jewelry and so on.
We went through her outfits for the evening, which I steamed and hung on a Z rack.
Then we went to the stage so she could do her rehearsal.
Here is where the publicly known Joan Rivers character emerged. It was like two different people. She was playing a role, being rude, cracking jokes and had everyone rolling.
She laid out her cue cards on the floor across the front of the stage.
We went through all of her costume changes and then we took a long break before the show.
She ate some dinner, met with some VIP guests and then we got her ready.
During the show (now on Netflix of this exact tour) she got her heel stuck in the back of her dress. I stood in the wings watching in horror as it began to unfold… when she realized what was going on, aggressively just ripped the shit out of the back of her fancy dress to get herself unstuck and just made a joke about it. I was dying.
We made her quick change into her Libery Costume and took her bows.
After the show we vodka-sprayed all her clothing and shoved it back into her Mary Poppins suit case.
Then, this happened.
The first and only photo I have of me with any of the now 50+ celebrities I've worked for since that day.
The lesson I learned from Joan Rivers has stuck with me. I have never since been nervous about working for anyone famous. She cured me for life of judging people from the public characters they play or perceptions we may have about them.
RIP, Joan. Thanks for the rest of the vodka, sunglasses and Fashion Police badge. I wear them proudly.
He is one of the only celebrities I have ever met. I've bumped into Misha Collins and I've met the members of All Time Low. But out of all of them, Chris Pratt was definitely the nicest.
Here's the story:
It was the 4th of July. My friends and I were walking in the parade with our local community theatre float and we noticed a familiar face in the crowd. After we had gotten to our drop off location, one of my friends ran over to me and told me that she had seen Chris Pratt. This wasn't too much of a surprise because he had been to our town several times since he and his wife are wanting to move here with their son. We were still very excited, however. We've been dying to meet him.
Sadly, through several attempts, there was no way to reach him in the crowd and we watched with defeat as he and Anna walked away. We eventually gave up looking for him and started to make our way back to the community theatre to change out of our costumes. On our way there one of my friends saw Chris and Anna walking towards us. Well, not towards us, but in the same general direction. We ended up running into them on the corner of the street and upon seeing us, he exclaimed, "hey there, community theatre!"
It was overwhelming. He knew who we were! We got to talk to him for a few minutes and it was so crazy. He asked if we had any upcoming shows that they could go see (we are all actors) and what there was to do around town. We told him our whole schedule for the dramatic arts and he said he'd try to attend a performance. Then, the craziest thing of all, he asked us for a photo! You can view that below.
(I'm the one in the red, curly wig)
He and Anna were so sweet to us. They never even looked displeased like several famous people do. You could really tell they enjoy being around their fans and talking with them! It was such an amazing experience and I am so thankful that it happened. It's a young, aspiring actor's dream to meet other actors/actresses and the fact that we got to is mind blowing!
Overall, Chris and Anna are two of the nicest people I have ever met. (Not to mention he has really soft hands).
An interesting person.
This was around summer last year, I had gone back to visit my hometown- St. Petersburg, Russia. We were on a tour bus sightseeing different places and museums. We made real good friends with the people in our tour bus as they were really friendly and all. But there was this one woman sitting way at the front who wasn't talking to anybody.
Weird. I thought.
Anyways, we went to different museums and I got a chance to notice what she was wearing. She was wearing all black tights, t-shirt, leather jacket and combat boots. She looked really intimidating and a little off to me, because while people were taking pictures of the Russia painting and Faberge egg; she was taking pictures of tiny descriptions instead of the actual priceless possession.
So I concluded that she was a thief or a con artist. Now bear with me here.
Then the entire group including me went to a Russian restaurant to sit down and eat food, they were all sitting and taking (and mind you, I was the only teenager in this group) so I decided to chat with the lady cus she seems bored.
Once I started talking to her, she told me she was an actress. I had a little panic moment (you know the general one when you meet a celebrity) but I couldn't quite pin point who she was. So I asked her about her works.
She replied, "Are you interested in any DC comic book shows or any Vampire related TV shows?"
And then I said, "Yeah, I watch Arrow and Vampire Diaries."
"Bingo, I've played a minor role in those two shows."
Then realisation hit me like a wave.
She was Kelly Hu.
For those who don't know who Kelly Hu is: She played China White in Arrow.
Much to say I was fangirling over her and all the adults in the group were looking at me like I was crazy.
Overall she seems a bit reserved but she opens up to you once she knows that you've seen her in the big/ small screen and appreciate her work. Plus she is aware that most teenagers would know who she is and hence she is really nice to them. We had lunch together and we talked about how it felt like working beside actors such as Hugh Jackman (Wolverine) and Stephen Amell (Oliver Queen a.k.a Green Arrow).
I felt really bad for thinking that she was a thief. (Gotta tone down all those Mission Impossible movies haha!)
The experience was great, she even took a picture with me and followed me on Instagram.
BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Malibu is the place to be.Giphy
So living in Malibu I've met many celebrities and had a couple conversations with them.
I'll start with Adam Sandler. This guy is the best. So my younger brother was about 1 at the time and barely walking and we were in a crowded mall. My parents suddenly noticed that my brother Scott was gone. They were freaking out but they had written their phone number on Scott's arm just in case this happened. They new he probably was back in one of the prior toy stores and were hoping someone would call. Soon enough someone did, we told the guy where we were, and guess who shows up holding my little brother, Adam Sandler himself. He was such a nice guy to go out of his way to help being my brother back.
Next, and this one might surprise you, but Charlie Sheen. So this guy has a bad reputation but his daughter was in my class for a couple years and I new her, I had seen her dad around the school at her volleyball games and things but had never actually met him until this time after I had preformed the lead in a school play, Charlie Sheen comes up to me and holds out his hand to shake mine and says "Hi, I'm Charlie" like all humbly as if we didn't know who he was. Anyways he was really sweet and he said he was really impressed by my performance and said he couldn't have acted that well at my age. He really is a sweet and down to earth guy.
Yes in his past he's made some mistakes but haven't we all. His past doesn't affect who he is as a person. I also respect him because he is turning his life around. He's really there for his kids, going to their shows and sports and dance events and such. He's a really devoted dad and I can tell his kids love him a lot. Don't judge people by their reputations or past, not until you get to see how they are as people, such as Bruce Willis is an ABSOLUTE AHOLE.
Also Kourtney Kardashian is pretty sweet. My dad happens to be her doctor (he was on their tv show) so I got to meet her.
We love a humble star.
Although I haven't had many encounters with any celebrities, the few I've had a chance to meet, have been very pleasant and respectful. The most down to earth, humble, and normal celebrity I've met, is Ed Sheeran. I got to meet him at a private radio show, and not only is he a superb musician, but an outstanding individual, as well. I met him after he had become a huge success in the UK and Canada, but was just getting started in the US.
We were allowed one picture with him, no autographs, but I wanted to try for one anyway. When I got up there to meet him, he gave me a smile, a genuine hug, and told me how glad he was that I came. He told me he loved my shirt, which had song lyrics on it, and offered to sign my stuff anyway. Unfortunately I didn't have a pen, and neither did he, but he wanted to break the rules for me, anyway, which made me admire him even more at what he would do for a fan.
I got to tell him how wonderful his music is, how much he inspires me as a singer, and how much I appreciate his love for his fans and the respect he has for us. He then, smiling really big, pulled me in to a huge hug again and thanked me for my support of his music. I've had several friends meet him, and they've also said how genuine he is.
Seeing as he is my absolute favorite singer songwriter, I am so glad he did not disappoint me. I am so glad to see that his rise to success here in the US has not diminished that laid back humble attitude he has. I've never heard of another fan complain about him.
While honeymooning on a shoestring at the Turtle Bay Hilton on Oahu (we lived in Honolulu) as they had advertised some cheap midweek rates. I mentioned at the front desk that we were kama'aina's (Hawaii residents) and that it was our honeymoon and we got an upgraded room and some other privileges (which we didn't have time to do), making it possible to have a very nice, late meal in their dining room.
There were very few people having dinner that night and we had the full attention of the wait staff. The cast and crew of "Joe vs. The Volcano" was filming in the area and Abe Vigoda, Tom Hanks and some other actors were at a big table in the corner behind us. We tried our best not to stare. To our left, Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan were laughing and eating with a young boy who was trying to eat a lobster and making a mess of it, which Ms. Ryan thought was the funniest thing ever. Mr. Quaid kept smiling at us whenever I peeked in their direction (her laughter was wonderful) and asked the waiter who we were. I guess the waiter knew we had just gotten married and passed along the information to their table.
When they were leaving, both of them stopped at our table and gave us their congratulations and well wishes. Before we were done eating, the waiter came up with the dessert cart, and asked if there was anything else we would like, and to be sure to pick out whatever we wanted of the cake and pastries, as the cart had been paid for by the Quaid's for us as a wedding present.
The next morning, since we had to be up early to get the groom back to work, I decided to order breakfast in the room. We were brought six serving platters heaped with everything 'breakfast' - pancakes, bacon, ham, sausages, eggs, toast, French toast, croissants, orange juice, milk, coffee and all the extras. Enough for a dozen people and tucked into the payment folder, with no bill, there was a coupon to get a beach picnic with a whole chicken, sandwiches, wine, soda and side salads for later (which, I regret, we did not use), all 'compliments' of the film cast & crew.
We didn't get to see any of the cast or crew to thank them, but the desk said that they were all the best guests. Certainly a class act to us!
A good childhood memory.
This goes way back to when I was 10 years old. A production of the musical "Show Boat" was being offered at the 1953 Season First Production at the Carter Barron Amphitheater in Washington DC. I was chosen to be one of small group of children who would take part in the group segments of the story. For me, it was a magical experience. The huge outdoor theater in beautiful surroundings, the music, the songs, the dancing, the actors, everything was like living in a fantasy.
It was during the summer and my mother would take me there with a little lunch and snacks in a paper bag. All of the children, when we weren't needed, would explore the backstage, the tunnels and dressing rooms under the stage, the costume room, just everything. This was a world you would never know about sitting in the audience watching the show. It was always very, very busy with stage hands and actors always on the move.
The playbill states that "Showboat" was "Produced under the personal direction of Constance Bennett". She was a well known Hollywood actress at that time and, to me, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I remember she spoke with confidence when telling us what to do and she always carried her little dog under her arm. She was always nice to the kids.
Now, to the nicest celebrity I have ever met. Fred Kelly, brother of Gene Kelly, was the choreographer so the kids all spent quite a bit of time with him. We all worked hard and were treated with discipline and gentleness. I was one of the youngest and smallest kids and he always had me in the front of the group. In one of the big scenes, I think it was when the Showboat was either arriving or leaving. There was lots of excitement and waving. I rode on the shoulders of one of the dancers at the end of that scene.
Good luck, Fred Kelly
Ol' Man River was my favorite song. It was so sad that one time I cried. The actor who played "Joe" and sang it was a black man (no black face!) named William Smith who saw that I cried in a rehearsal and told me it was just a song but it told a true story of the south. He signed his picture in my program: To Ann, With Best Wishes, Ol' Man River.
This production was born when the composer, Jerome Kern, bought a copy of Edna Ferber's book "Show Boat" in 1926. About halfway through reading it, he asked Edna Ferber for the stage rights and asked Ziegfeld if he would like to produce it. Oscar Hammerstein II, who had collaborated with Kern to mount other famous plays on Broadway would write the the script and lyrics. So, then it began.
I apologize for going on so long. Once I began remembering and retrieved my old program it was all so clear in my mind. "Show Boat" was the beginning of my education about the old south literally on a visceral level. The actors, the songs, the story…a true learning opportunity. Thank you for reading.
A genuinely good person.Giphy
I was a reporter for The Wall Street Journal for more than a decade, and interviewed a number of celebrities, CEOs and other big-shots—called in the trade "bold-faced names."
Most were courteous, professional and even humble. But one stood out: Garrison Keillor, the host of the long-running radio program A Prairie Home Companion.
During the height of his fame, he gave a speaking tour around the country. I went to one of these events at Lisner Auditorium in D.C., and went backstage afterwards to meet him.
Because he'd just made the cover of Time magazine, he'd been in great demand that day. He'd even been taken around Congress to meet various politicians who wanted to have their pictures taken with HIM.
That night, he'd given a one-man reading of one of his books, which went on for over an hour.
So he must have been exhausted by the time I met him. But the area backstage was full of various VIPs and their families who were standing in line to meet him.
He greeted them all cordially and asked them questions about themselves.
That made the line move slowly, and some people got impatient, particularly when the young man right in front of me was introduced to Keillor.
The young man, about 15, was in a wheelchair, and had a disability that made his speech very slow.
It took him a long time—more than a minute— to stammer out, "It's an honor to meet you, Mr. Keillor."
Keillor just stood there smiling as the young man struggled to get out the words, then reached out his hand and said in his honey baritone, "No, it's an honor to meet YOU!"
I just about burst into tears, he was so warm and genuinely kind.
On another occasion, I had the opportunity to interview him one-on-one during one of his book tours, and can attest that he's a cagey interview subject—deflects any question he doesn't want to answer—but his intelligence and quick wit shone through. He also was unfailingly polite and didn't hurry the interview, as many celebs do.
All in all, I think if Americans had a list of artists designated "national treasures," as Japan does, he should be on it.
What is it about someone that captivates you instantly?
Could it be the twinkle in their eye as they talk about their passions? Or perhaps its their overwhelming sense of humor that draws in everyone in the room?
Whatever it might be, everyone has that one trait, that one quality, that can make them instantly interesting to someone listening nearby.
"What's one thing which makes someone interesting to you instantly?"
It doesn't even have to make sense why that person is interesting to you.
If they're only funny to you, and no one else, doesn't matter.
You'll sit, listening to them, for as long as you can.
Make Me Laugh
"Sense of humour"
"I have entire relationships that are built on mutual humor. Sincere humor is the best, when someone can be their full selves with you - serious moments are appreciated and occur but our love language with one another is our ability to laugh together."
You've Seen Things Others Haven't
"If they have traveled outside their home country or have lived/are living outside the home country."
"As someone who spent the last 15 years outside my home country, this is normal for me, or that they’ve learned a second language.(I have too just not always the language of my host country)."
Math And Numbers All The Way
- "If they're interested in math I instantly love them. Haven't met anyone tho"
- "Funny sarcasm a bit situational, but if someone is good at using sarcasm in a gunny way I want to be they're friend."
Totally Got Into A Fight With A Bear
"Facial scars, and not ones done intentionally. If you got a big ol scar on your face, you've seen some sh-t, and I am dying to hear about it."
"I have a fairly prominent scar close to my eye that I got from walking into the corner of a table as a 2yo."
"Can't say I've seen sh-t, but I sure as sh-t didn't see that table."
Conversations are tricky to navigate, especially when you think you'll do nothing but bring the group chat down.
That's why when someone perks their ears up to give you the floor, it's intriguing.
Let's Talk TOGETHER
"They draw people into the conversation by finding topics of mutual interest."
"A great tip for doing this is to abandon any embarrassment at knowing nothing about someone's passion. Instead of trying to change the subject or staying quiet, ask the basic questions that come to mind."
"You'll find there are two types of people - those who delight in explaining why they're so passionate to you in a way that makes their passion practically contagious and those who can't be bothered making an effort. The first group are the ones you want to talk to anyway, as they not only match the effort you made but make it effortless for both parties."
Take Your Time. I'll Listen.
"People who can find the sentence through all the stuttering I do and are actually interested to chat for an undetermined amount of time"
"Hang in there buddy! It's a shame how society treats people who stutter! I'm a speech therapist and the biggest problem for my patients isn't the stuttering, but the inability of other people to just take a little bit more time and let them finish their sentences on their own time"
Or Maybe We Don't Need To Talk At All
"Ability to enjoy and appreciate comfortable silences without having the need to constantly talk."
"Nothing's more annoying than someone who constantly talks just to fill the air."
You don't know why, you just know how it feels.
It's a gut thing, deep down inside, that lets you know this person is something special.
Let It Out
"Passion. Doesn't matter about what, they could be passionate about installing toilets and I'd listen to them. I find it infectious."
"YES fully f-cking agree. My friends always apologize when they go on about something I’m not into/haven’t even heard of, but I could listen to it for hours. Just hearing the excitement in their voice and seeing their eyes light up just soothes my soul."
"They’re not afraid to like things. I’m so bored of people whose personality is based around not liking things or being too cool for things. Coming from someone who used to be extremely cynical — cynicism is boring."
Eyes That Make You Feel
"Their eyes. Some people have very kind eyes and I’m extremely attracted to that."
"Omg this. So far I’ve only met one person with really kind eyes and there was a time when I was in bed just crying about it cause whenever he looks at me it’s like all the mistakes I’ve made in my life doesn’t matter"
Speak Your Truths
"Honesty. Even at their own expense. Extremely attractive trait in friends or significant others."
"Double this. It comes down to being able to accept wrong and being unafraid to open themselves up to judgment, criticism, and consequences of action, which is a huuuige display of strength, and == hot. Dishonesty is insecurity at best, malice at worst."
Trust your gut.
You never know what kind of fascinating individuals you'll be lucky enough to interact with.
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Turns out not all of us are interested in being benevolent Gods.
It's Reddit, so we're not exactly surprised, but we're suddenly glad divine cosmic powers don't work this way.
Reddit user Purple_Pineapple_752 asked:
"If God gave you his powers for 1 hour, What would you do?"
So here's the thing, Reddit has no chill.
So every random whim, thought, or chip on people's shoulders certainly came out in the comments.
And honestly... it's delicious.
Some Redesigns Needed
"Redesign human knee and shoulder joints. Because, seriously, I've got some bug reports that have been ignored."
"You’ve got my vote! As a nearly 30yr old with chronic arthritis, I’d say thank you!"
"Yup. Tore my ACL the other month in college football and am now a 'house potato' according to my dad."
"Both of my shoulders are reconstructed. My hips are finished as well an I'm in my 30s ."
"I think the human body needs to be made of better quality parts at this point lol"
"Elected politicians, and candidates for office can no longer lie."
"Intentionally or unintentionally, every thing they express will be truth. If they try to lie, it will come out truth."
"This is not meant to be wholly benevolent."
"No half truths. No vagaries. The plain and objective truth, or silence. Those are their options."
"And it applies to all elected politicians, officially government sponsored ones (MPs) or otherwise, like say the elected spokesman of the IRA."
"Let the games begin."
"This is actually terrifying."
"Imagine you are elected. You want to know the nuclear launch codes? No worries, just try to state the first character in the sequence."
"You cannot lie. So what you say will come out as correct. Now just have someone write it down."
"Want the password to the white house twitter account? No worries, just get someone to vote you into some form of office. Could be you and joe-no-body, it doesn't matter."
"Privacy would end overnight."
"No no no, you want them to not be able to tell intentional lies. Then at least it's limited to things they know. And just for good measure, give every elected official a strong sense of questioning their own knowledge."
"I feel like this power will end up being a monkeys paw. You try to do good but it has an equal/opposite reaction..."
"You make it so politicians can't lie, and the followers just accept it and still vote them into power."
"Make it so people have critical thinking and aren't easily misled by conspiracies and propaganda, then I dunno, maybe we find out we needed conspiracies in our life and we now no longer question anything.. Idk.."
"You remove corruption and it has some unforeseen knock on impact where now South American or African countries become super powers and a new cold war erupts with new players."
"Yeh monkeys paw... Beware of this power..."
"Create various images on toast and have fun watching believers react to them."
"But technically... they would be right because it was you as God!! You!!"
"I’ve often wondered how many people eat their Jesus toast without ever bothering to check."
"Extending the thought, how many people actually do check their toast only to think to themselves, 'Hey! It’s Keanu Reeves!' ”
Can We Vote For This Person?
"1st of all, I would make it so that everyone napping always wakes up refreshed. All naps now last 23 minutes but feel like 4 hours of perfect sleep."
"Nothing is addictive."
"All men are given perfect recall about everything their wives have said or done."
"All women obtain positive body images."
"People who are cool never have their shoe laces come undone. A-holes have their laces break every Friday."
"Dogs stay small puppies for 3 extra months and come out potty trained."
"Turtles can play trumpet."
"America switches to metric with no fuss."
"The internet makes sense to everyone over 70....but they chose to avoid social media anyway."
"Corn syrup goes away."
"All religions announce simultaneously that God is kinda... but not exactly gay."
"Every swastika owned drawn or tattooed is slowly burned away over a week. It hurts really bad and is replaced by a picture of a teddy bear blowing a very startled looking Nick Cage."
"You had me at trumpet turtles and taco trees."
"I also choose this god."
Assuming I'm Still Interested
"Assuming I’m still really interested in Earth, get us back to zero or a good starting point."
"Remove all trash and pollution everywhere. It just ceases to exist."
"Complete all municipal separated storm sewer projects instantly."
"Instantly create storm water gardens wherever necessary. Instantly eliminate lawn culture and convert to lawn alternatives to eliminate run off."
"Instantly convert all power generation to safe thorium nuclear and renewable. Instantly convert all sea shipping to clean nuclear."
"Instantly convert all cars to electric. Create charging stations at every residence."
"Instantly convert all heavy construction equipment to a safer fuel (I don’t know what yet). Instantly put solar panels on every structure/house. Instantly create bike lanes everywhere. Instantly create bike culture of the Netherlands everywhere."
"Upgrade everywhere to high speed rail systems similar to Japan. Switch all roads to permeable pavement."
"Instantly perform major upgrades on every structure, road and bridge everywhere. Have all work go to new construction and maintenance."
"Instantly install field drains and timer stadium lights in all playing fields."
"Instantly process all rape kits in all police stations."
"Instantly repair all playgrounds and park features everywhere."
"Automatically register everyone to vote. Create 10 new states out of Texas and California. Instantly pass political reform."
"Legalize all drugs. Instantly create more treatment centers."
"Instantly cure all ailments that are in recovery in hospital and would cure naturally. Instantly move those patients back home."
"Instantly kill all patients who would die naturally. Instantly inform all families."
"Instantly remove all graveyards and eliminate practice of saving dead. Create new ritual of donation to science or turn into tree."
"Instantly create depression cure. Instantly create obesity cure. Instantly create formula to grow/repair existing teeth."
"Instantly change taxation rate to post WW2 for businesses. Instantly change view of all workers to pro-union."
"Instantly identify and eliminate all political corruption. Have everyone just realize all this exists."
"Eliminate all religious belief everywhere. Instantly create belief in helping neighbors, being a good person, and creating a heaven on earth."
"Eliminate all mosquitoes. Bring back bees."
"Is time up? Was that an hour?"
One Solution To The Fossil Fuel Issue
"Having given it some thought:"
"Easy parthenogenesis for all humans, regardless of their biological sex and mental identity."
"And the natural ability to self terminate pregnancies. And self. That would wipe out a whole bunch of angst and repression in the world."
"The ability to fly, as someone else suggested, at fairly rapid speeds. This would vastly change society, no more cars, planes, elevators, stairs, possibly no more country borders, it would be nearly impossible to enforce. The demand for oil would plummet and the environment would be healthier."
"Extra longevity, with senescence happening only a few years before death."
Genderqueer Garlic Bread
"Make an easily accessed and super powerful source of electrical energy that's renewable and environmentally friendly, it's also easily accessed (this could just be 100% efficient solar gen, or a generator that somehow turns heat back into useable energy? I dunno I'll be god, I could figure it out)."
"Cure All Diseases"
"Humanity now has the ability to magically transform themselves freely to look however they choose, provided it's still anthropomorphic."
"I'm genderqueer; this would make it so all the non-cis people wouldn't need expensive drugs and surgery, or suffering, although I guess we'd be dealing with a few furries but y'know that's fine with me."
"Reverse earth's environmental damage back to pre-industrial while maintaining all the infrastructure changes."
"Finally, all major US and Canadian highways are underground and infinitely maintainable, AND there's also Bullet Trains that run underground with them along the WHOLE interstate/400 Series and Extension/Trans-Can that way I NEVER HAVE TO DRIVE AN HOUR TO WORK AGAIN."
"AND all Cities with populations over 10K have more-than-adequate 100% free public transit that's also so efficient the busses/trains/trolleys/whatever are never late."
"OH one more thing: Since everyone is gonna be sexy because of the Shapeshifting, everyone is either pansexual, or ace, and the people that are ace aren't seen as weird and are completely respected in their orientation. And we all have an innate sense both to locate each other and to locate garlic bread."
"I would set a timer for 10 years and then everyone dies and the earth explodes. I would make everyone aware of the timer."
"I think that would eliminate a lot of bullshit around the world like war and hate, and would make for a really good last time alive until we all die together."
"Am I a weirdo?"
"Curse everyone whose name was listed in the Pandora Papers to spontaneously explode somewhere in public and just let the media chips fall where they will."
"Create a sky-dwelling jellyfish that eats carbon fumes and whose tentacles contain a chemical that makes you feel total euphoria for 8 hours straight."
"See how long it takes humans to turn them into a carbon-sucking, drug-producing sky farm animal."
"I am 100% on board for carbon-Hoover-jelly-sky-fish-farms."
"Because Who Wouldn't?"
"I'd get rid of all mental impairment diseases and conditions. Alzheimers, Dementia, the severe mental impairment that some kids are born with (Not sure what the various conditions are called)."
"I would make humans and other animals immune to cancer. I would extend healthy human lifespans by another 50 years, and dogs and cats can also live as long as humans."
"I would then give humans the ability to research and cure other diseases and ailment so that mankind could eventually have treatments for such things as they come along. I say this because I only get an hour and things will appear in the future that can't be predicted (even with God's power)."
"And lastly, I'd of course, give my self a bigger dick, because who wouldn't?"
Oh you didn't honestly think we were going to get through an article about god-like powers and NOT have someone use it for penises... did you?
Come on now.
You're not THAT new on the internet.
You know how people are around here.
What would YOU use your god-like powers for now that you've read some of Reddits ideas? Let us know in the comments.
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Are you like me and the 1990s were only 10 years ago?
Yes, I can do the math, but 1990 being 32 years ago still seems unreal.
Why is that?
Maybe it's the fact it marked the end of the 20th century and beginning of the 21st.
Either way, it just doesn't seem that long ago and the nostalgia for the trappings of the 1990s is strong.
Redditor PrimaryYam9432 asked:
"What is something outdated from the 90s you want back?"
"I lived in a one bedroom apartment in San Diego in the nineties to the tune of $400 a month. I'd like that back, please."
"I looked up the specific place I lived. That one bedroom runs $1,650 now."
Cheesy Video Games
"Westwood Studio's real time strategy games featuring cheesy live action videos between the levels. I'm fine without the dial-up multiplayer though."
Subscribe, Subscribe, Subscribe
"Software that you buy one time and own. Looking at you Adobe."
"Being able to own things without having to take out a subscriptions."
"This is exactly what I was going to say. Being able to buy something and be done. Now everything has a subscription attached to it."
"Software is one of the worst examples but even the auto industry is trying to get in on the subscription money by requiring additional monthly plans to access features of your car that you already paid for."
"A local HVAC company is attaching a subscription to their work. So you pay them to install it all and then a monthly fee for them to be on-call in the event it needs maintenance."
"At work our IT support company stopped doing ad hoc service calls unless you subscribe to their monthly service plan. So the company is paying triple the price and getting basically the same thing except in theory the amount of service call they can request is 'unlimited'."
Your Local Video Store
"I miss going to video stores and browsing."
"I do too. That was a fun Friday night as a kid. Going to Blockbuster to pick out a new movie to watch."
"It's not the same getting on Netflix and spending an hour looking for something to watch to only wind up watching something you've already seen."
"Yep! As a kid my dad would come home from work on Friday evening and take us to Hollywood video."
"We’d pick out a movie and get a pizza on the way home. Good times."
"Reasonable commercial lengths."
"Now ESPN has 5 minute commercial breaks..."
"My least favorite trend is a commercial break, then they come back for 1-2 minutes with some tiny snippet of 'coming up next!' then go to another commercial break."
"Or they smash the credits into a tiny window, while running ads on full screen. Can't even read the credits if you wanted to."
"Not having to make an account for EVERYF'KINGTHING!"
"And lately every time I sign up for something, they send me texts now too in addition to emails that I don’t want. Leave me alone!!"
"I'm so over this. Especially when you're supposed to make a different password for every account you have. My brain only has so much memory for passwords anymore."
"This is probably more late 90s/early 00s than the 90s as a whole, but a social media-less internet."
"It felt like an escape from real life, as opposed to an extension of it."
"Remember when they told us to never identify yourself on the internet? And now they put their whole life on it."
"I miss web 1.0 where anonymity was the point."
"Remember when our parents told us not to trust anyone on the internet, but now believe everything they see online and lecture us about it?"
"My mom when I was 16 and got my first PC: 'Don't put your pictures online!'"
"My mom now: 'Send me grandson pics nowww! Need new profile pic and header!!'"
"Geocities web pages, made with heart, not for money."
"I do miss Geocities. It was sh*t, but atleast anyone could have a web site for free hosted on a server that was relatively fast and reliable."
"Nowadays, good luck to find a good free web hosting..."
"Oh my god, my bff would purposely go to my crappy Geocities site and sign the guestbook as ridiculously over the top characters like 'Madame Consuela de Soliz-Camacho-Dubois St Bernard,' and she'd write their comments in Spanish, German, French, whatever she felt like that day."
"It was so stupid but for idiot teenagers back in the 90's, it was the height of hilarity that she could prank me without being in the same room. Good times."
Why Is This Phone Smart?
"Not being able to be reached 24/7."
"Remember when the only people who had cell phones or pagers were doctors and high end business professionals that NEEDED to be reached at a moments notice."
"Now, everyone is expected to be available at any time. And if you elect to stand your ground and establish a separation between work/personal life you're considered 'rude' or 'difficult to communicate with'."
"Yeah, remember when you let the house phone ring during dinner?
"I remember my dad grumbling if the phone ever rang: 'It's dinner time, nobody should be calling now. Who calls during dinner?!'"
"You didn't call people's house after about 8pm either unless you knew it was okay. It was rude—that was private, home time."
Buttons & Knobs & Dials
"Technology with buttons and knobs."
"Agreed! Some things I just don’t want a touch screen for."
"I hate touchscreens in cars because 1) you just know they'll wear out and be expensive to replace and 2) I can't use it by feel and have to take my eyes off the road to adjust anything."
"Agreed! Why does my Microwave need to have touchscreen? I don't want to touch the panel with my fat butter and chips fingers. I want use the back of my hand."
"All my touchscreen appliances start to fizzle and fail pretty quickly. All the analog or mechanical ones still work from decades ago, or I can at least open them and clean some contacts."
Nostalgia is a funny thing—we tend to romanticize our past.
If we truly went back, we'd probably discover all the things we'd miss from our future.
But we still miss a lot from the 1990s.
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You're probably going to be beat over the head with this as you read this charming article but bedbugs are a nightmare and they are always lurking (in the back of my mind) when I think about purchasing some items secondhand.
Some years ago, a relative brought in a stuffed animal and some other items off the street. Within days we had a bedbug issue.
It was thankfully resolved very quickly–good thing it was caught so early–but let's just say I dealt with phantom itch for a while.
Nooo thank you.
People told us all about their own reservations after Redditor princesspeaches8 asked the online community:
"What's something you'd never buy secondhand?"
"Most people don't realize..."
"Motorcycle helmets. Most people don’t realize that helmets expire and lose effectiveness even after relatively small impacts."
Best not to tempt fate and get a new one for sure.
People cut corners and then pay the price with their life.
"...unless it was from someone I knew for certain..."
"Climbing gear, unless it was from someone I knew for certain is an experienced climber and cared for their gear per manufacturer recommendations. Even then, I'd prefer to buy new."
The last thing I would want if I were a climber would be to realize that I am using faulty equipment!
"You want bedbugs?"
"A mattress. You want bedbugs? That's how you get bedbugs."
Bedbugs terrify me.
No thank you.
"Since nobody else has said it..."
"A car seat. Since nobody else has said it, I will. Secondhand car seats are so dangerous. You have no idea if they have been in an accident, after which they are supposed to be replaced no matter how minor."
All it takes is one accident.
Don't risk it.
"I got into a whole argument..."
"Tires. I got into a whole argument about it with my automotive teacher in school, and everyone laughed at me and called me spoiled, but I just don’t feel that it’s worth taking a gamble on people's safety with used tires."
I believe this depends on the tread, though.
"Jigsaw puzzles. Bought a 1,000 piece puzzle for £3, spent a few hours making it only to find 6 pieces were missing."
I'd be so upset after spending all that time!
"Three things I would never dream..."
"A toothbrush. Toilet paper. A condom. Three things I would never dream about buying second hand."
People buy used condoms?
What is going on with the world?
"It happened when I was 10..."
"Shoes. It happened when I was 10. My mom bought me a pair of boots from The Salvation Army that I just had to have. Athlete’s foot. HORRIBLE. It took powder, not spray, to get rid of it."
I am also very hesitant to purchase used shoes (and won't) and I understand that this is a privileged opinion.
"There's no warranty..."
"Crucial car parts. Like used tires, brake pads, brake rotors, rack-and-pinions etc. There’s no warranty from the back-alley Craigslist dude and if those parts have defects you won’t be able to stop or steer. Which leads to you quickly performing the room-temperature challenge."
You see, I don't drive, but if I did, this would definitely be something I wouldn't do.
No way I'd purchase crucial car parts from some rando!
"I was very open to it before..."
"Most second hand things now. Especially furniture and clothing which can't be checked thoroughly. I was very open to it before. But bed bugs really terrify me now. All it takes is one to start an infestation, and they hide in things like the labels and behind boots and screws. The eggs are about the size of dandruff."
As mentioned before... bedbugs are terrifying.
I don't think I can stress that enough.
Sometimes saving a few dollars can cost you a lot.
Why risk it?
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