There are a few requirements that are a must at every wedding, or at least they should be a must! It's a no brainer... a couple in love, music and a cake. Seems simple enough! It's suppose to be a celebration, not a prelude to a funeral. If your guests are having to put the wedding together for you during the ceremony, or fainting from starvation, or bored out of their skulls because you've allowed family and friends to relish in their fifteen minutes of fame threw self-indulgent speeches... YOU HAVE FAILED!
Redditor u/RedxSmoke was wondering what almost brought them to an "I Object" reaction by asking... What is the worst wedding you've ever been to? What made it bad? Now toss the bouquet!
Too much Mr. Worldwide!Giphy
Went to a couple's wedding who were both on their second wedding. The dude was rich so everything was pretty nice. Except they decided a DJ wasn't needed. She made a playlist from Youtube and had that playing.
The levels on all the songs were different, we had to wait for crappy wifi to play load the songs, and someone had to keep changing the playlist when it finished. But that wasn't the worst part.
More than half the songs were Pitbull. He was on every playlist, sometimes in a row, and songs were repeated.
I should add in that they definitely had the money for it, as they had a guy playing guitar the whole time. No singing. Just acoustic guitar while pictures were being taken. notdazzer
Just the 3 of Us...
I'm not sure if this was the best or the worst wedding I've attended. It was my cousin's, who had a Christian wedding. The person officiating the wedding went on a long speech about how Jesus is also part of their marriage and proceeded to use the term "three-way" at least a dozen times. "It's not just the two of you, it's a three way. A three way in the bedroom, a three way in the kitchen, a three way in the basement, a three way in the backyard..." Poor guy couldn't figure out why half the audience was dying of laughter. I would have thought he was trolling us, but this was in a very small, very conservative town and the guy was a hundred years old. Keepsmakingaccounts
Oh man this one is easy. It was on a beach on a day where the wind decided it wanted to make a point that it was boss. Wind coming off the ocean tends to cut through clothing really easily and this was an outside wedding at night.
Ceremony starts, the microphone they are using is straight static and no one can hear a thing the groom say and its just loud ear piercing static. Once the finish and they are about to walk down the aisle to take pictures, the grooms brother run up there and grabs the mic and says wait everyone I have something to say. Gives a 30 minute sermon about God's will (neither of these people getting married are religious). They go and take pictures, it takes two and a half hours. It starts to become night time and everyone is in dress clothes waiting for the pictures to finish up. Still no food and everyone is starving and freezing to death.
Then finally it was food time. Apparently the catering company drove all the food pre-made from hours away. It consisted of white rice, salad, mashed potatoes and the driest unsalted chicken you would get from El Pollo Loco. At least we would get cake. I was wrong. They brought out little cheese cake bites that were cut in to little squares. I ate one and knew the gig was up. It was the tell tale sign of Sara Lee cheese cake. These caterers seriously charged these people to cater their wedding and went and got 8 dollar cheese cakes from the store and tried to pass it off. It was kind of crazy and I left I was too cold to be out there during that. SomethingaboutAvs
Who needs a wedding!
This is odd, but I am going to say mine.
This was because of my wife's family. We wanted to keep the wedding very small. We were very young and some thought we were too young to get married, so this was the reasoning for keeping it small. I had my parents, brother and 4 friends. My wife invited her parents, brother and grandmother. Her grandmother took it upon herself to invite the entire side of my wife's family. We had over 100 unexpected guests that acted as if they were insulted that they had to be there.
The good news is, my wife kicks a**, going on 15 years. all_bad_names_taken
The bride and groom totally skimped on the food. It was a long day from church (1pm) to dancing (9pm) and we were starving and miles away from the nearest town.
After a long mass, we were able to get half a scone with jam and cream, then wait for dinner at 5pm. The plated three course meal had no options and the portions were tiny and the food was not filling. My "fruit salad and ice cream" desert looked like carrot shavings.
There wasn't any evening snacks for the people who stayed to dance, and they didn't even cut the cake. We were starving and that's just not a feeling you can ignore at an event no matter how pretty the Pinterest. mary_ligon457
Do the ticks sit on the bride's side or the groom's?
Ugh. I had friends get married in a "forest." It was a stretch of meager woods between two cornfields. Mosquitoes galore. We had to sit on logs that were covered in damp moss, the mud was ankle deep in places, and the ceremony was inaudible due to a tractor plowing the field. They served food out a "charming old cottage" that was actually a rotting former chicken coop that the groom literally dragged in from elsewhere. The entire event was a nightmare. SuzQP
Sing out Louise!
My brother's wasn't bad, but it was kind of annoying. It was held in a place where no microphones were allowed (due to the presence of tropical birds who would be upset by them) and the registrar who was doing the service had no concept of vocal projection, so we were just sitting there desperately trying to make out what she was saying so we could follow. I look grumpy in every photo due to straining myself to hear, and I was in the second row! We were essentially just watching a woman's lips flapping while my sister-in-law was wearing a nice dress. MrLuxarina
I'm not bringing a gift then!
They did a potluck wedding, but no one brought any food. Everyone left after the first dance. janie_brown854
I feel like that's the thing you really want to establish in advance. Like ok you bring a side dish and you bring a entree. Etc. future_nurse19
Exactly, I went to a potluck wedding this past weekend and I told the bride what I was going to make probably two months in advance. epicamytime
You want to kill a wedding? Put speeches an hour after dinner and have that happen for three hours. I think speeches started around 8 pm, by the time the video tributes and the people talking about how great everyone is ended, it was 11 o' clock and everyone was just done. Not a lot of time to dance and socialize left over when the venue was closing at midnight. I was feeling sick so I should have left sooner. fuzzay
I'd rather be alone than unhappy! Sing it Whitney!Giphy
My "best"friend's wedding. She should never have married her husband. She is only with him because she doesn't think she can do better and no one else had really expressed interest. It was painful to watch her just lock herself into this darkness/nihilation of self. I could see she even knew that's what was happening, somewhere deep inside. So many things happened which made it clear what was happening and even why. To bullet the despair:
- She spent the evening before with my husband and I talking about any guy she had ever had an interest in or flirtation with. It was like she was mourning all of her lost chances. No excitement, no mention of her husband to be. We jokingly (but not that jokingly) offered to just take her home with us, 6 hours away
- She had no plans for getting ready the next day. Asked me at 10 PM to do her hair and makeup and arranged for the photographer to come to my hotel to document this. We also drove her to the wedding.
- Neither I nor my husband (her second best friend) were invited to be in her wedding party. It was strange, and so many people the next day would say "Oh, you're her best friend! She talks about you all the time!" and look confused. Her matron of honor and bridesmaid were her husband's best man's family. They did not contribute to helping her get ready. It was like she didn't want us, the people who care about her, involved in this.
- Her parents had not been in touch for days and came 15 minutes late to the ceremony, never calling her beforehand. She had clearly learned her lack of value at home...
- His vows were mostly jokes for the audience. Loving her was never mentioned.
- Despite her asking him not to, he violently smushed the cake in her face. I helped her clean up. It was deeply up her nostrils, in her hair, in her eyes. Bridemaids tried to take pictures while laughing until I menacingly threw them out of the bathroom. It took me a while to make her vaugely presentable again. I offered again to just take her with me, far less jokingly. This time she was quiet and a little teary but did not respond.
- Best man's speech was about her husband mostly, with a story about how clumsy she is. I had to walk outside. My husband had to calm me down as I cried and yelled about it all, before people heard me.
In the end, this was her choice. She spent the following ten years- so far- feeding the worst, saddest parts of herself. She's become completely self-involved (I guess she needs to because no one else in her life is taking care of her). We haven't actually spoken in about 3 years, though she emails with my husband (again, about herself only). She still calls me her BFF on facebook and refers to my daughter as her niece, though my daughter doesn't know her at all. Thank God they never had children. I know they haven't had sex in at least 4 years.
It was a wedding, but it felt like watching someone commit suicide. 2beagles
Talk about a cursed Love....
My sweet cousin got married this past spring. The ceremony was all about Jesus this and covenant that. There was a big thing about submission. I had to practically hold my sister back from charging the pastor. My cousin is deeply religious so I let it go.
What makes it bad is the pastor shot himself in front of my aunt (cousin's mom) and his wife. It's been a mess for the entire family.
Everyone is now in therapy. PaintedLady5519
So Not Hot!Giphy
I haven't been to a lot of weddings, but my sister's was so boring. She had a destination ceremony, so the bad part was just the reception. There was just nothing to do. Everyone sat around chatting and eating for like 3 hours, they did a "first dance" and stuff, but didn't really announce anything so no one watched. They took pictures with someone's cell phone. It was supposed to be one of those shabby chic barn weddings, but it was actually in a welding shop (?) it was so hot. And did I mention boring? But when everyone started to leave after literally doing nothing for 3+ hours my sister got mad. And it wasn't like other weddings where they were gone for 2 hours taking pictures (Which I also hate) like they were there... idk she was planning it for so long and stressing about it a lot and it just was boring, and she was a huge jerk through the whole ordeal. Bridezilla doesn't even begin to cover it. BlNGPOT
Not so Happy New Year!
Went to a friend of a friend's wedding as a stand-in date. Her genius idea was to get married at night in a field on her farm. Everyone sat on hay bales.
This was at night. On New Years Eve. In Northern Connecticut.
I think my butt froze to the hay bale and the catering tent wasn't much warmer. Saturn_5_speed
Can you Feel it? Hot-Hot-Hot!!
Oh my god, my own. My husband and I were eloping and found a man to officiate our whole deal and going into it, seemed like a great idea! The man was really nice on the phone, told us to come on by this little chapel he worked at. Seemed legit enough. It was just me, my now husband, my older sister, her husband, and my younger sister. We opted out of family being there for conflict reasons. The man who officiated it gave us beer while he sat us down to tell us that I needed to read Ephesians 4:22 (I think that's it) frequently to remember to submit to my husband, who couldn't stop laughing at this sentiment. Then he started smoking? Inside? While explaining to us that he can legally divorce us for $850 if I (not my husband!) change my mind and proceeded to tell us a story about some woman he married to a man who was abusive. While he was reading us our stuff and doing the actual ceremony, the building began getting very hot. Like. Sweat dripping down your face hot. And he was smoking? Now I'm a smoker so it's like, whatever, I guess? But while your officiating a wedding? In a building that's pushing 90 degrees? While drinking a Miller Lite? My older sisters husband kept going to the bathroom every ten minutes to snort cocaine. They are no longer married. It was honestly the best day of my life. Got some amazing pictures that would fit right in over at r/trashy. What a shit show. daddicavi
Fourth time will be the charm....
Two come to mind...
A former boss held his wedding at the family cottage on a lake. The "theme" of the wedding appeared to be "get the lake house ready for the wedding." Centerpieces were candid photos of the whole family cleaning trees, planting flowers. ALL speeches were nothing but praise for the family coming together to create such a nice wedding site. It was like the wedding itself wasn't important, just the fact that they got ready for it.
And my dad's second (out of three, not like it matters) wedding reception was terrible. The DJ refused to play actual songs, instead choosing to provide the vocals himself, like his own personal karaoke party. Weirdest part was that he sat down the whole time so it's not like he was putting any effort into it. sarahjunior
The wedding party was late for EVERYTHING. They were an hour late to the ceremony, they were two hours late for dinner, then they decided to do speeches before the meal so there went another hour. Then they played a stupid game where they played a song and if your table guessed the song you could go get in line for the buffet. My table went last because none of us had very much knowledge of country music and by that time it was another hour gone by.
We ate cold roast beef and the scrapings of a Caesar salad at 9:30 at night. It was also in a small town where nothing was open past 6 and it was over an hour to the next nearest town. epicamytime
Dry? Run for your LIFE!!
First, the very long Catholic ceremony's sermon had the premise of "get her pregnant as soon as possible."
Second, it turned out to be a dry wedding.
Third, the only food was an appetizer buffet.
Fourth, I was the guest of an ex-boyfriend, so I knew literally 3 people there, all of whom were in the wedding party, so it was difficult to spend time with them.
I left very sober, hungry, confused and bewildered. 0/10 Terrible time. mollymarie0801
Cheers to.... umm?Giphy
It was pretty obvious that none of the non-family guests liked the bride. The BM toast was all about their friendship and how he got himself a hot wife that will hopefully let them hang out together, bride side of ceremony empty besides relatives, no one went to do bouquet toss, MOH was really a good friend of the groom who toasted for him to be happy and said nothing about the bride except she was pretty.
Food was pretty inedible. Venue was not accessible, and some guests were handicapped. And also everyone left after dessert. The wedding ended very early. erin_gerber417
Not the "absolute" worst!
Definitely not as horrible as some of these, but my fiancè and some friends of his went to their old bosses wedding. The food was mediocre (extremely small portions, like shitty sliders and pizza pockets) and we never ate because we had figured it was just the appetizers and that the food would be out shortly after, so the entire time we were STARVING. Also my best friend's ex boyfriend was seated next to us sulking and sighing the entire time (they had just broken up that week) and being extra weepy when the slow dance songs came on. Fiancè and i congratulated the couple and left ASAP and went to burger king. Chicken fries were 10/10. deadpuppybombbox
The Rapture isn't coming soon enough....
The best man talked about how the groom broke up with the bride to focus on his relationship with God. The father of the bride spoke about how the rapture was coming. The father of the groom was the priest, and the whole thing was cringeworthy. Malvania
Oh God. Just shoot me. I used to work with a woman who was convinced the rapture was coming. She was exhausting. She also had a collection of lingerie that would make a whore blush. brutalethyl
Insults come in many forms, most of them involving swear words or similar affronts. However, there is something to be said for a truly cutting remark made without the use of such language.
Some favorites are always old Victorian slang and insults. They just hit different. Something about telling an a-hole “you sir are an unlicked cub and your wife a sausage wallet" is just more satisfying. Although we do not recommend going around insulting people, the list of swear-free insults below will certainly get a chuckle.
Redditor Beadiest_Cape wanted to hear the best cuss free insults out there and asked:
“What's the best insult you've heard without swearing?"
“After getting a compliment on his assignment, A buddy of mine leaned back in his chair and told our college professor, ‘I'm not as dumb as I look.’ To which he leaned forward on his podium and said, ‘You couldnt be.’” dusty_boots
“…and may God have mercy on your soul.”
“One of the best is from Billy Madison, ‘What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.’” maswriter
You should apologize…
“You’re not the dumbest person in the world, but you'd better hope they don’t die.” WhatThatBoiDoin
“Whenever this question is posted, my favorite is usually along the lines of: ‘There's a tree somewhere in the Amazon jungle with sole purpose of producing oxygen you breathe. You should go find that tree and apologize." all_worth
How low can they go?
“The bar was on the ground and you grabbed a shovel” BlckAlchmst
“That reminds me of one comment i read saying: ‘the bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are dancing limbo with the devil’.” give_it_a_vodkashotSeries 2 Limbo GIF by BBC ThreeGiphy
"Having been born an infant, and realizing he quite liked it, he decided to stay one forever." overt-wan-kenobert
“From Casablanca: ‘You probably think pretty poorly of me don't you?’”
"’I would if I gave you any thought’" koiven
These teachers got clap backs for days…
“I had a teacher tell some kid ‘Nothing you have to say is of any consequence...to anyone.’ He was an odd teacher who kinda talked like that, but it was his version of savage. The room lost its sh*t in unison.” glib_battling
“I had a guy sit behind me in English class let out of fart that reverberated off the wooden seat. The whole class heard it. The teacher said ‘that's the most intelligent thing you've said all year’. Priceless” melbers22
“I was at a karaoke 50th the other night and this one caught my eye. Thankfully I wasn't drunk enough to sing it. But I love this song for its sick burn. Poor old Edie. Bob really gave it to her that time.” crankenfranken
Down the Monty Python rabbit hole…
“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt... of elderberries!” UpTwoDownOne
“Elderberries were the cheap replacement for grapes in making wine. That is basically ‘your father is a drunk and can't afford the good stuff’.” ukezi
“And hamsters have sex all the time with no regard for monogamy.” draconum_ggg
“So, ‘Your mother is being cheated on but is also a w*ore and you father is a drunk who is also broke’.” EmpanadaDeMayonesa2
“‘My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a...middle.’ --Mal Reynolds”
"’It's not that I hate you, exactly; it's just that any admiration I have for you is well under control.’” FlourChild1026
Shakespeare master of insults…
“Straight from Shakespeare ‘I wish we could become better strangers’.” Dundeklil
“Also from Shakespeare: (Fallstaff, after Bardolf calls him fat) ‘Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life.’” driving_andflying
Excuse us while we go grab the burn cream.
Aging is a sneaky process. Most of us don't realize how old we've gotten until we find we are no longer able to do things the way we used to with ease when we were younger.
Sure, it's depressing, but you know what? Aging happens to all of us, and no one is getting out of here alive.
"What gets worse with age?"
Physical consequences of aging is one of the cruelest things in life.
Watch Your Hyde
"Your skin. Take care of it. Skin cancer sucks."
What The Body Does With Food
"Every meal is followed by a poop."
"Bending over to pick a quarter off the ground. Hurts your back, gut and your fingers don't work. That's why there is change all over my floor. ;)"
After A Wild Night
"Hangovers for sure."
"At 18 I could go heavily drink and feel damn near 100% the next day. Now I get horrid mental and physical effects. Probably should quit drinking all together."
When our senses gradually start to fail us, it's yet another reminder of our brief mortality.
"Make sure you get your eye dilated every year and check for cataracts."
"My hearing is on the decline. I don't think it'll go completely, but I did get hearing aids last year."
The degeneration of certain abilities as we get older is too much to bear.
Staying Above Water
"My ability to cope. I'm just burnt out all the time."
"I feel the same. Aside from my family and friends, I have no care for anyone or anything anymore. Nothing phases me but that's not a good thing IMO. I feel very apathetic towards everything, I'm tired all the time and just want to lay down."
"The ability to sleep through the night."
"Used to be a world champion sleeper and now 5-6 straight hours is huge. Pretty much wide awake every night at 3am."
Putting Up With People
"Humanity.... The older I get the less I want to deal with people."
"Friendship - making new friends after your 20s becomes a big struggle, and the newer friendships just aren't the same. You can literally run out of 'lifelong friends' due to death, disease, people growing apart, etc."
I found as I'm getting older my patience and tolerance for certain things have gotten worse.
Waiting in line at the grocery store while someone fumbles with their payment option, or getting antsy when the food I ordered at the restaurant is taking way too long are things that never bothered me ten years ago.
I"m not curmudgeonly by any means, at least not yet. Besides, I'm not that old.
But to all the cranky elders I grew up with who complained about poor service or lack of efficiency, I get it now, and I hear you.
It's never easy to leave home.
Redditors that were kicked out before or at 18, what happened to your relationship with your parents afterwards?
Things outside your control, like divorce, shouldn't be the child's concern. If the parents don't handle things properly then unfortunately it ends up falling on the kid, forcing them to make the tough choice.
Putting Your Problems On Others
"Parents kicked me out when they got divorced and "couldn't afford to take care of me anymore."
"Struggled for a while but doing ok now. Don't talk to either of my parents and that seems to have improved my life quite a bit."
Suffering The Consequences
"My parents divorced when I was 12, dad had primary custody. He got a new girlfriend who hated me and my brother when I was about 16. My only request was they wait til I left for college to get married. He dumped me and everything that was mine in his house on my estranged mother's front lawn, jumped back in the car, and drove off a full two months before school started. They were married by August (on my mother's birthday)."
"I moved out of my mom's place as soon as I made a friend in the new city 500 miles from where I grew up using $400 a month he gave me for expenses to keep him from feeling too guilty about it (my mom's alimony payments expired right around the same time I left, so he just gave it to me instead of her, he did the same thing when he forced my brother out after I graduated. I joke when he's old I'll find him a nursing home that costs $400 a month so see can see what that buys you.)"
"I begged to be allowed to come back for holidays every year for a decade. I had to listen to my dad call me every holiday with his new wife's kids clearly there in the background and when I asked about it he would just sigh. One time he had me call his wife to ask her and she just spent 5 minutes cursing at me and telling me I was awful. I was maybe 19 and had never had any real trouble, legally, academically, or socially. I spent summers on my friends couches so I could go back to see them at least. He would try to meet up with me, but I was just so angry and hurt I usually didn't tell him I was in town."
"He is still shocked I don't want anything to do with him now that I'm older. He still thinks I deserve everything I got, which I know because it was the last thing I ever let him say to me before calling it officially done. He won't be at my wedding. He won't ever know my husband or my family. I'm done."
"Did fix my relationship with my mom eventually though. She was actually sorry for the time we missed and glad to have me back in her life. I'm also still tight with my brother."
Growing To Understand The Decision
"I was kind of a b-tch as a teenager, moved out at 17 after she gave me an ultimatum, didn't talk to my mom for three-ish years, then only on holidays. Then I moved back in with her for 6 months, which was not fun as someone 21 years old who had been on their own for 5 years prior."
"I did a lot of work in therapy and we repaired our relationship. She's now one of my best friends, we live about ten minutes apart, and I go over just to chat a few times a week."
"I hated her at the time, but I have grown to understand that she was trying to do the best with what she had. Also, I was a very difficult child."
You know what's a perfectly reasonable solution to not having a home to live in?The military, apparently.
(Only join if you feel that it's right for you. Don't let anyone make you join.)
Military Or Bust
"Six months before I was 18 my grandmother was adamant that she was going to take me to enlist in the military and I said no, so she wanted me out at 18. I arranged to move in with my gf."
"By the time of moving day, my grandmother was acting like our spat never happened- "keep in touch" "don't be a stranger" "dont burn any bridges". I only really interacted with her at family gatherings after that, and I have her on Facebook so she can keep up-to-date without me actively taking to her."
No, Really. Military Or Bust.
"My mom always said that "had to be out" at 18 once I graduated. I honestly took this to heart. I didn't have a bad relationship with my parents, but I was also left to raise myself most of the time."
"I graduated at the beginning of my senior year, was 18, and moved the f-ck right out, joined the military shortly thereafter. My mom had a fit. I thought this was what she wanted."
"I'm "OK" with my folks, but I basically left for 5 years and stopped calling. Still very much independent, very successful, and have very little of what is a relationship with them. I didn't have role models or people to guide me. I'm a parent in my 30s and I'm trying to unf-ck everything and treat my child like she should be treated, lots of attention and love. I'm salty about the way I was raised; I often upset at them. The more I grow, the more distance I out between myself and my parents."
"I'll be sure go guide my kid and not make her leave home asap."
A Fizzled Relationship
"I was 17 when my mom and I had a huge fight. She said, "If you walk out the door, don't bother coming back" - one of those empty threats. Of course she was surprised when I packed some bags and took off. I stayed with a guy that I had been seeing for a couple of months."
"That relationship fizzled out fast and I wound up coming back home. Learned fast that he was a drug user. He was also staying at his brother's house and said it was cool that I was there. But then the brother announced he was coming home - and that was it for me."
"Took a long time to patch things up with my mom. We started getting along better later in my life. It took a long time to get there though. My dad and I always got along well."
Then there's these situations, far outside the reasonable control of any child. Abuse and divorce are situations which shouldn't be placed at the feet of someone under 18, but this is how it goes sometimes.
Burning That Trust
"It's a long, ugly story. But yes, it did change everything. I still harbor resentment toward my mom for caring more about getting my stepdad out of jail than making sure I was OK or taking me to the hospital. I'll never stop loving my mom and I know she loved me back, but it was clear that her men sat higher on her priority list than I did. I was 16, he didn't even have a legal right to kick me out in the first place."
"And I obviously never trusted my stepdad again. I haven't talked to him since my mom died in 2010 and I hope I never see him again. I couldn't care less about how his life is going, I have more important things to focus on."
Lose A Key? Get Out.
"When I was 16 my mom invited her alcoholic boyfriend to move in with us. He hid his drinking quite well, and he hid the violent outbursts he had towards me even better. I tried talking to my mother and grandmother about it and they accused me of lying because I "just didn't like him". The whole thing snowballed and, because my dad wasn't talking to me or my sibling at the time (a key fell out of my pocket before I left for school, got locked out of the house for a couple hours. Apparently that was the worst thing ever and justified a massive argument and falling out), I ended up on a bus to a different city at 2am to live with a friend whose dad owned a roofing business.
Spent a few months hating every second of it and trying to make it on my own. Eventually, my mom's boyfriend started to go after my sibling, and it all ended when he threw a glass of water at them (glass included) in front of my mom. I was able to go back home, but things were never the same and I fell into a deep depression and it left me with some trust issues, especially with people around the age I am now. It also left me with an odd aversion to physical labour"
"A lot more has happened since then, despite repeated attempts to reconcile our relationships. I ultimately decided that I can't be around them, and that it's best to keep my distance from family. I talk to my parents once a year, on Boxing Day, and that's all the time and attention I'm willing to give to them"
Getting Out Of The House No Matter What
"I grew up in an extremely abusive household. Every category of abuse you can imagine."
"When I was 16 I was given a choice to either leave or go to foster care, so I packed what little I had and moved to another state. That was nearly 12 years ago."
"My relationship with my parents is strained at best, I rarely speak with either of them any more and I plan to change my legal full name and leave the country, so that I am not associated with them in any way, shape or form."
Keep your head on your shoulders. Have a plan. If it feels like you're set to be kicked out or, even worse, forced to leave for your own safety, start preparing.
Like it or not, we've all met a liar or two. Some lies aren't so obvious either, and if the individual has a habit of lying regularly, then that's a sign that they could have a larger problem. Some lies are more innocent––we know those as "little white lies"––and typically don't harm anyone.
And some lies are just obvious and absurd––even entertaining. Why do people say these things? In truth (ha), the reasons might be complicated and the individual might not even be aware. We heard all about them after Redditor Mobile_Sturgeon asked the online community,
"What was the most obvious lie you've ever heard?"
"My friend told us..."
"My friend told us he was born mid-flight, and that it was on the exact border between Scotland and the USA, so he was half American, half Scottish."
This person has never looked at a map, have they?
"He then showed me..."
"My regular job is as a club promoter, I just work here [crappy retail franchise] for fun money." He then showed me a generic picture of a Ferrari and said that was his car.
Bonus lie, he told everyone he was 28 when he was clearly in his mid to late 40s."
"I stopped believing it..."
"My grandma got me to eat bread crusts when I was a toddler by telling me they're made of broccoli and cauliflower. I stopped believing it in a few months but it worked."
Ha! The creative little white lies that grandparents make up!
"My husband forgot..."
"My husband forgot to wake me up after promising me that he would. When I woke and realised that I may get late, I was pissed and asked him why he didn't wake me up as he'd promised, he told me that I was looking so cute, sleeping, that he didn't want to disturb me.
Well, after six years of togetherness, that is so obvious a cover-up for having forgotten something that I broke out laughing."
Oh, they totally forgot. But it sounds like you two are very much in love, so that's great!
"Aside from this bizarre quirk..."
"A guy at my local pub claimed to have written just about every popular song you could name, and when called out would get mad and come up with elaborate stories to explain how, for example, he had written "Stairway to Heaven" when he was 10 years old and been ripped off by Led Zeppelin.
Aside from this bizarre quirk, he seemed totally normal. Had a proper job and everything."
You meet some odd characters in pubs, but they're typically not hurting anyone, so leave it be.
"A friend of mine..."
"A friend of mine once told me a great story about something funny they did. It was hilarious.
Problem was, it was MY story. I had told it to him six months before. He told me the whole thing almost verbatim, only he had inserted himself where I had been in the story. I think that's my favorite."
"I had an employee..."
"I had an employee who was 45 minutes late to work and he told me with a straight face that he had to wait for a family of ducks to cross the road, and that's why he was late."
You have to admire his chutzpah, don't you? I cracked up at this.
"A friend I had in high school..."
"A friend I had in high school wanted me to come with her to Texas to visit her brother. Presumably, he was in a gang and had a million guns and robbed banks all the time. As if I've never seen a Western before.
Also she's adopted. She has a foster sister, a foster mom, and a pet dog named Snowball. I've been to her house. She has no brother."
"A girl I went to high school with..."
"A girl I went to high school with was neurotic about grades and rankings, etc. During the college application process, she was rejected from a school that accepted one of my close friends. We were discussing the school after class one day and this girl said 'Yeah, they rejected me but sent a letter saying they did it because I should go somewhere better given how strong my scores and grades are.'
That was very nice of them!"
Very nice of them, indeed! You'd think they'd be tripping all over themselves to have her!
"The more he spoke..."
"A security guard that works at a grocery store I once worked at said that he had been in Iceland. I asked him about the penguins he saw. He blabbed on about species of penguins that he created on the spot and that he was stationed there for military purposes. The more he spoke, the more the lie snowballed."
Pathological liars can benefit from psychotherapy, which can pose its own challenges because the liar isn't in control of their lying and could begin lying to their therapist.
"Treatment will depend on what the person needs and what they respond to during therapy sessions," as noted by WebMD. "Finding a qualified, experienced therapist who can work with someone over the long term is the key to managing the condition.
If you or a loved one needs help, seek help today.
Have stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below.