People Reveal The Tolls They'd Implement If They Were A Bridge Troll[rebelmouse-image 18355467 is_animated_gif=
Everybody has to pay their way in some form or another when crossing a border into a new land. That is one of the hottest topics in our lives currently. But if you were the person in charge of the cost of the crossing, like the bridge is yours alone, have you ever wondered what sort of requests you might demand if you had free reign?
Redditor _GrifterDingo wondered aloud If you were a bridge troll, what would be the toll to cross your bridge? The things people think about never ceases to amaze.
ELDERS ARE CHATTY!
They have to call their parents and grandparents but they aren't allowed to initiate the end of the call.
My bridge will be covered in skeletons.
I'M PRETTY TOO![rebelmouse-image 18355468 is_animated_gif=
Say something nice about me. Getting called a troll all the time can really bruise the ego.
THIS BRIDGE IS CHEAP.[rebelmouse-image 18355469 is_animated_gif=
$7.50 and we'd take EZPass
AND DOES THE FEDERAL BUDGET COVER IT?[rebelmouse-image 18355470 is_animated_gif=
Five paragraph essay on the advantages of bridges versus fording a river. Might as well put that high school education to some use.
AND THROW IN SOME BBQ SAUCE.[rebelmouse-image 18345894 is_animated_gif=
" I only accept gold nuggets.....chicken nuggets....Denver Nuggets. Whatever you got."
THROW IN SOME FRIED RICE AS WELL AND YOU'RE ON.[rebelmouse-image 18979184 is_animated_gif=
Definitely egg rolls. While not unreasonable to acquire, they're not something people just typically carry around. They would likely have to go grab one and come back, so I'd know they care enough to at least do that. Bonus: Egg Roll Troll rhymes
CHOCOLATE FIRST ALWAYS![rebelmouse-image 18979186 is_animated_gif=
Anything peanut butter. I'm a pretty lenient bridge troll.
THAT'S A HEFTY PRICE TAG.[rebelmouse-image 18977402 is_animated_gif=
A boy's soul.
AND SOME JAM AND MIMOSAS ON THE SIDE.[rebelmouse-image 18979187 is_animated_gif=
Pastries. I'd be a very fat troll.
NO CARCASSES PAST THIS POINT.[rebelmouse-image 18979188 is_animated_gif=
Cleaning up the dead bodies of people who littered near my bridge...
If there are no dead bodies then just go right on through... But don't even think about littering.
CRAFT? INTERNATIONAL? OR LOCAL?[rebelmouse-image 18979189 is_animated_gif=
Beer. Just beer.
Seems appropriate if you live under a bridge.
DO YOU COVER DENTAL?[rebelmouse-image 18346089 is_animated_gif=
You must hand me an application form and be ready to work as an apprentice bridge troll. For the first few weeks you'll have a costume made of grass, but eventually through the lack of hygiene you will develop natural fungy infections, boils, and a hairy neckbeard.
Your role as an apprentice bridge troll will be to take application forms from travelers. Growing exponentially, we'll eventually be so numerous that we'll be able to overthrow the government of Cyrodiil and establish Trollism in all Tamriel. Questions?
REGULAR OR TERIYAKI?[rebelmouse-image 18979190 is_animated_gif=
WHO HAS THAT KIND OF CASH?[rebelmouse-image 18979191 is_animated_gif=
Pay my student loan debt.
AN EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL IS A MUST.[rebelmouse-image 18979192 is_animated_gif=
Give me a puppy and you may pass.
IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS.[rebelmouse-image 18352271 is_animated_gif=
Basic human decency.
DANCE. DANCE FOOL. DANCE.[rebelmouse-image 18979194 is_animated_gif=
Make a fool out of yourself, only the humble may cross.
STICK WITH THE CLASSICS![rebelmouse-image 18979196 is_animated_gif=
Bacon cheese burger with fries and a chocolate shake.
OR ALL OF THE ABOVE.[rebelmouse-image 18979197 is_animated_gif=
Cash or grass. Nobody crosses for free.
WE ONLY ALLOW THE BEST OF THE BEST THROUGH THIS BORDER.[rebelmouse-image 18979198 is_animated_gif=
You must answer me these questions three, ere the other side ye see.
What is your name?
What is your quest?
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Most people are asked what they do for a living upon meeting someone for the first time.
It's definitely a good conversation starter. But while some people's professions are generally understood by the majority, there are other professions that entail more than what is outlined in a job description.
Hoping to be enlightened, Redditor memereda_vanwolf asked:
"What are facts about your job that general public has no idea about?"
There are simple solutions to seemingly complicated issues.
A Quick Fix
"I work in IT support. Legit about 80% of all problems are solved by rebooting the computer/terminal/phone."
"If not, 20 percent is pure detective work."
"Radioactive contamination can often just be cleaned with Windex or even water."
Facts about these specific professions are truly eye-opening.
The Finest Detail
"I work at a large biotech/pharmaceutical manufacturing company. The drugs you take or buy from your local pharmacy are so insanely and meticulously regulated & inspected at every step of the journey - from petri dish to pharmacy shelf, that you could take a pill from a bottle and it can be traced back to the exact room it was made in, the exact equipment that was used, who was responsible for each step, and the time it was made down to the very second. Seriously, there is no misteps when it comes to GxP."
Corporate Allocation Of Funds
"Working for giant companies, it’s comical how many systems are raggedy messes of bare-bones functionality. All available money gets thrown at certain projects, leaving everything else to work on complete shoe-strings."
Legalities Of Being An Organ Donor
"I work in organ donation."
"The general public doesn’t understand literally any of it."
"One notable thing is that when you register to be an organ donor, it’s a legally binding declaration about your wishes after death. It is akin to a will under gift law."
"Anaesthetics- we only ask about your illicit drug use so we don’t kill you when we give you a general anaesthetic and that you have appropriate pain relief."
"You’ll have a tolerance that we need to counter by giving you a variety of drugs and more of them."
"No judgement from us on your choices - just want to actually take care of your properly."
Dealing With The Deceased
"I was a licensed Cremationist for 8 years. Regardless how hard we tried, that wasn’t just grandma or grandpa in the urn…."
Never Assume You're Always Safe
"Ex-security guard here."
"We're not there to protect you. We're there to observe and report. Don't assume that just because whatever building you're working in has security that you're safe. Especially if security is of the unarmed variety."
"That as a trucker, that space I left in front of me is so I don’t kill anybody, NOT your personal invitation to jump in front of my bumper because you forgot your exit or whatever reason. So many want to get in front of us and slow down and park in front my bumper."
"YSK: Don’t believe the billboards those ambulance chasing lawyers put up about big truck accidents mean big bucks. Only survivors get money, most likely not you. If you do survive, more than likely your quality of life is going to be miserable."
"Also YSK: these trucks can weigh up to 80,000 pounds, 34,000 pounds empty and around 20,000 pounds without the trailer. How does that compare to your SUV or even your lifted pickup. Do us all a favor and give us some space, leave us room so that you can live and go home to your family"
"One final thought, NEVER assume the other driver sees you."
Some jobs have great perks.
These are sorely lacking in company benefits.
"Crisis hotline. Sometimes we get really disturbing prank calls. I always encourage people to call back if they are ever in crisis. A lot of times, they (the prank callers) do."
First Things First
"When you call 911, please say your address before anything else. It doesn’t matter if someone is actively dying, say your address first. (I’m from a rural area so this might just be a problem where I’m from) but if you’re calling on a cell phone sometimes it can ping in a completely different spot then you are. If you call and don’t say where you are and we get disconnected, I might not have any clue where to send rescue/police/fire and therefore I cannot help you. Say your address (if you don’t know then please give like a cross street or notable location) first, then preferably your name, THEN tell me what’s going on."
"A lot of people assume that we automatically have a precise location where they’re at, and the systems can be pretty accurate but you can’t always rely on them. If you say the address and we get disconnected I can at least send someone to the area to figure out what needs to be done."
"(Source: I am a 911 dispatcher and I have so many people scream at me for not automatically knowing their location)"
Respect Your Masseuse
"I'm a massage therapist. I don't care if you didn't shave. But please wash your feet."
I usually have interesting conversations with Uber or Lyft drivers as a passenger.
They've disclosed the questionable policies of the companies they respectively work for and divulged traffic tips and what routes are best to take to get to certain destinations.
But what captivated me most were the stories about the passengers they've picked up.
Without going into detail, riders can be absolutely deplorable and inconsiderate.
One anecdote made me very anxious about sitting in the back seat and made me checking for stains.
Some on-the-job facts are better left a mystery. So, you're welcome for me sparing you the disgusting details.
Rules are rules.
And they're made to be broken.
Unless you have strict parents that don't play those games.
I was pretty lucky, I had a freedom growing up.
But I had a few friends who had it rough.
Redditorcallierkapwanted to hear from everyone whose parents caused more stress than necessary when growing up. They asked:
"Redditors who grew up with strict parents, what was the most absurd rule you had to follow?"
I wasn't allowed to cross the street without my. other's permission. It was weird. But now that I drive... I get it.
AloneLonely Bucks Bango GIF by Milwaukee BucksGiphy
"I was only allow to go to school and come back home, my parents never allowed me to hangout with friends after school or on the weekends."
"I could totally see my friends, but effectively wasn't allowed to make any. I was homeschooled so I didn’t have any, and church wasn’t really anyone under 50, so I just never had any communication with anyone who wasn’t an adult until college. This vastly set me back along with my siblings and I didn’t go on my first date until 23."
Make it Quick
"My parents expected me to call them and ask for permission to go out at night (which in their minds was after dinner and included movies) throughout college. And furthermore I had to use a calling card with limited minutes because my college was long-distance from them."
"My goal was to end the call quickly which usually meant acquiescing to their rigid rules and staying in. Took me entirely too long to realize that they were in fact half a day's drive away, so I could do what I wished without always checking in."
I am Meek
"Not being allowed up in my room during the day. (It was okay to go up there once it got close to bedtime, but it was hit or miss... I could never quite figure out the exact time it became acceptable.) My mom would always yell for me to come back downstairs if I disappeared up to my room for more than five or ten minutes at a time. And a related rule: not being allowed to shut my bedroom door, except briefly when dressing."
"For context, I was an introverted girl who loved to read, and I just preferred the peace and quiet of my room. Also, I was a very meek child who never got into trouble, so those rules weren't made because of any misbehaviour on my part. It seemed absurd to me then, and still seems absurd to me now."
Who?he's cute tv land GIF by YoungerTVGiphy
"It wasn’t a rule but, when I was 13, my mom overheard me telling some friends a guy on TV was cute. She made me feel so ashamed that, to this day, I’m reluctant to actually point out a cute guy to friends or voice my appreciation when they do it. It’s awkward."
Wow and I thought I had it bad because I wanted more allowance.
Less WordsArgue Donald Trump GIF by Wave.videoGiphy
"I do high level debate in high school, so in every argument we had, I wasn't allowed to use it because it was too insulting to them or something. Very many arguments were had in form of screaming and cussing at each other."
In the Middle...
"As the middle kid, I had a lot more rules compared to my siblings. My older brother moved out of my dads house so it was me and my little brother, who was spoiled rotten. I wasn't allowed to go to bed until my little brother said I could. He was allowed to hit me as much as he wanted. Keep in mind, I'm a female, now 18. He is four years younger."
"I moved out when I was 17. Also, he was allowed to do whatever he wanted and I had to do his chores and mine in under an hour. My chores were the dishes, taking the dog out, sweeping, mopping, steam mopping, vacuuming, laundry, and bathrooms. We lived in a 4 bed, 3.5 bathroom house. It also had a basement that my dad used for his man cave. My brothers chores were to clean his room, and take the trash out."
"I did all of his chores everyday and mine and it took me from 6 AM (I also wasn't allowed to sleep in but he could) until 3 or 4 PM. And I was doing online school. I failed school and was told I was only good as a servant. I was also getting abused but I moved out and now my fiancé helps me get over the trauma."
2 years later...
"When I went to boarding school, if I gained even 0.1kg of weight, I would have all electronics, which included my phone, tablet and laptop, taken away from me until 2 years later when my parents said I could have them back. I wasn't allowed to leave the school grounds unless I had their permission. I didn't give a f**k what they said and still left the school on weekends, but the farthest I went was the little co op 50 meters from the school because that's all I ever wanted to go to."
I Feel for Her
"I’d say I have some of the least strict parents and it’s made me realize the insane things my friend’s parents do. I have a friend from a hispanic household, she’s not allowed to wear makeup, and must get permission to go out. This wouldn’t be weird if she wasn’t literally 20, with a driver’s license, car, and 2 sources of income including the military. They don’t let her move out. She’s being deployed to Kuwait indefinitely and I haven’t gotten to see her once before she leaves."
HydrateJohnny Depp Drinking GIFGiphy
"My siblings and I couldn't drink anything during our meal. If we wanted anything to drink, we had to have it before we ate, and couldn't touch it again until our plate was clear."
In a Small Town
"cracks knuckles... my time to shine. I had a 7:00 curfew until I was 18 (then it only moved to 10). I live in a very small town, the kind that Walmart is considered a date, and my parents were mad I went across city lines for the movies when I was 18. I could only go out (meaning anytime I left the house including family events) twice a month. I had to turn my phone in at 9 until I was 16."
"I have the male equivalent of 'resting *itch face.' So I was forced to smile and s**t, otherwise I got in trouble for 'making a look."
It's amazing some people still grow up sane.
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Moviegoers are passionate about the genres they seek in theaters. One genre many people tend to avoid is the horror genre.
Zombies, blood-suckers, knife-wielding maniacs, anyone? That's a hard "nope" from many audiences who prefer laughing at Will Ferrell movies or shedding a tear from triumphant classics like Rudy rather than shrinking in their seats and bracing themselves for the next jump-scare.
But sometimes, movies that aren't marketed as horror films should really get a re-evaluation because there are moments in the film that may unintentionally creep the bejesus out of certain audiences.
Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor bellathehellgirl asked:
"What movie scares the hell outta you that isn’t a horror movie at all?"
These Redditors were not prepared for what was in store for them.
It Starts Off As Fun & Games
"Jumanji. As a kid I used to have nightmares about those monkeys chasing me."
"The Dark Crystal"
"WHAT THE F'K IS THAT THING"
Not The Oz We Remember
"Return to Oz. Saw it when I was 5. Had nightmares about the wheelers for years."
Everyone loves a Disney classic.
However, these Redditors found certain parts of the films every kid grew up loving to be absolutely terrifying.
The Wooden Boy's Trauma
"Ever watched Pinocchio as an adult?"
"That is effed up."
"The scene with the boy turning into a donkey and losing his s*t over it is downright traumatic and not the kind of body horror one expects from a kids film!"
The Lost Girl
"The original Alice in wonderland. It terrified me as a kid that she couldn’t find her way home, nobody was really helping her, she was just stuck."
"Definitely this. Not only that she's lost but that she's in a world so alien yet familiar. The kind of place where if you were stuck there your whole life you might go mad if you manage to acclimate at all. Lost forever in an alternate world with inhabitants that are so outlandish you can't tell if there really is some structure to what they do and how they think or if they really are all just mad in the head."
Well, It Is A Roald Dahl Book
"James and the Giant Peach. F'k that whole movie."
Even dramatic films involve conflicts that may be too intense for some viewers.
Too Much Stinging
"My Girl when Macaulay Culkin gets stung to death by bees. Childhood me was scared of bees for quite a while."
Blurring The Lines Of Reality
"There's a movie I remember seeing with Britney Murphy where she dropped off her husband for a medical procedure and came back to pick him up only to find out he never existed or something and was made to believe she was hallucinating the entire relationship etc.."
"The thought of learning that anything in my life is a hallucination, is terrifying to me."
"Another one I can remember was Premonition with Sandra bullock. The movie itself wasn't the greatest, but the plotline is terrifying."
These were marketed as comedy. Yet, who was laughing the entire time?
Who You Gonna Call?
"I was very young when I first saw the original Ghostbusters."
"I was NOT expecting the library ghost to do that!!!"
"I know it was meant to be a comedy and all, but Mars Attacks. Call it deep-seated child trauma from seeing it when I was too young. Watching people get disintegrated into piles of bones gave me nightmares for weeks."
I remember seeing David Lynch's Elephant Man as a kid and being traumatized after seeing the disfigured face of John Merrick.
It's supposed to be a drama that should elicit sympathy and compassion after seeing the main character being exploited and paraded around by a Victorian freak show.
But for this young viewer, the critically-acclaimed film was nothing but a traumatic moviegoing event.
What movie forever unintentionally traumatized you?
People sure do love to use hotels and motels to set the mood.
But sometimes those escapades get out of hand and disrupt the people around them.
So how would you get them to stop?
Redditorsaxonn_88wanted to hear how people would ruin carnal activites. They asked:
"The people in the hotel room next to you are having really loud obnoxious sex, how do you ruin the mood?"
I just put in headphones when people are going at it.
"don't stop, I need this!"Stephen Colbert Hello GIF by The Late Show With Stephen ColbertGiphy
"Had this happen to a buddy while in college. Not a hotel but thin apartment walls. They kept having loud, obnoxious sex until he yelled, 'don't stop, I need this!' They quit after that."
"A few years ago I did it by getting food poisoning. The walls were thin so when I had to vomit I did it really really loudly. Stopped them immediately."
"Yooo me too. Except mine was the opposite situation -- I may have saved a friend's relationship. He and his girlfriend were having some really serious discussion in his room, like may have been on the verge of breaking up, and my crazy loud food-poisoning shits echoed through the apartment, followed by muffled laughter from my friend's room."
"Blast circus music. No one can be in the bone zone to that kinda soundtrack."
"My college roommate had a sex CD with a bunch of hard techno on it. We had vicious prank wars in our house so one day, I took his sex CD, copied tracks 1-3 with reduced gain and dropped in circus music with really high gain as track 4… queue hilarious sexual exploit."
"This happened while on a road trip with some friends in college. It ended with a dramatic 'OH RICK YES!' We let the silence sit for moment before cheering and yelling 'that a boy Rick!'"
"My freshman year of college a dude on our floor had a very vocal girlfriend, one day they were going at it and we rounded up everyone on the floor. Then we sat around the hall outside his door and cheery and clapped when they finished. They didn't meet in his dorm room anymore."
Tell me more...Listen GIF by The Maury ShowGiphy
"Talk into the wall about their sex, and ask questions about their positions."
People have some interesting ideas when trying to impede other's "lovemaking."
Loop Itmoaning crying GIF by Little MixGiphy
"Repeat every moan and sound they make, but louder."
"Repeat every moan and sound but in very load robot deadpan."
"College, we had not-your-average-dorms, it was an old building that used to house workers for a nearby big-name fancy hotel. Anyway, lots of odd doors everywhere and paper thin walls. There was a very super goth girl on our floor (and this was an art school, so very super goth even for there is saying something). She actively and literally would turn her nose up at anyone trying to say hi, including other women."
"Her door had a sign on it 'Death's door.' So she was quickly nicknamed Death. She has an older boyfriend who comes over, and they have marathon bouts of super loud sex, where she is the one making all the noise and progressively gets louder and deeper as she goes. And thus we coined the term death-sex."
"One day, it's particularly bad. It starts very early in the morning. By the mid afternoon (yes, seriously) it had gotten so loud people from other floors came down to figure out what the hell was going on. My roommate, clearly drained and pissed at the day he's had, comes home, sees a handful of folks from the other floors, sees me, asks 'tell me they'd stopped and have just restarted' and when I tell him amazingly no, they have been going all day."
"He goes up to the door rests his forehead on it, and yells 'YOUR SEX IS JUST.... TOO LOUD FOR ME' They shut up immediately and that was the last time any of us heard death sex. Sometimes you just gotta let em know they're being too loud!"
"Play the song 'baby shark' on full volume. My freaking roommates used to do this in college, it was a terrible inside joke."
"We used to put the Mortal Kombat theme tune on full volume. One time we even managed to get it playing from the guys own computer after he brought a girl back. He just powered through."
"They'll be hearing that on repeat in 9 months time if they're not careful and if they don't like it they can stop what they're doing. Nice."
"Just start laughing hysterically. I was in the shower when I could hear a couple having sex. When I finished, I started to laugh hysterically. The walls were very thin. They heard me and couldn't understand why I was laughing. They did tone it down. The next morning I saw this couple as they were leaving the next morning. We all avoided eye contact. It was all I could do not to burst into laughter. They probably thought I was a strange person."
What have we learned? Know your surroundings when it's sexy time.
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