People Reveal The Tolls They'd Implement If They Were A Bridge Troll

People Reveal The Tolls They'd Implement If They Were A Bridge Troll

People Reveal The Tolls They'd Implement If They Were A Bridge Troll

[rebelmouse-image 18355467 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Everybody has to pay their way in some form or another when crossing a border into a new land. That is one of the hottest topics in our lives currently. But if you were the person in charge of the cost of the crossing, like the bridge is yours alone, have you ever wondered what sort of requests you might demand if you had free reign?

Redditor _GrifterDingo wondered aloud If you were a bridge troll, what would be the toll to cross your bridge? The things people think about never ceases to amaze.

ELDERS ARE CHATTY!

They have to call their parents and grandparents but they aren't allowed to initiate the end of the call.

My bridge will be covered in skeletons.

I'M PRETTY TOO!

[rebelmouse-image 18355468 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Say something nice about me. Getting called a troll all the time can really bruise the ego.

THIS BRIDGE IS CHEAP.

[rebelmouse-image 18355469 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

$7.50 and we'd take EZPass

AND DOES THE FEDERAL BUDGET COVER IT?

[rebelmouse-image 18355470 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Five paragraph essay on the advantages of bridges versus fording a river. Might as well put that high school education to some use.

AND THROW IN SOME BBQ SAUCE.

[rebelmouse-image 18345894 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

" I only accept gold nuggets.....chicken nuggets....Denver Nuggets. Whatever you got."

THROW IN SOME FRIED RICE AS WELL AND YOU'RE ON.

[rebelmouse-image 18979184 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Definitely egg rolls. While not unreasonable to acquire, they're not something people just typically carry around. They would likely have to go grab one and come back, so I'd know they care enough to at least do that. Bonus: Egg Roll Troll rhymes

CHOCOLATE FIRST ALWAYS!

[rebelmouse-image 18979186 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Anything peanut butter. I'm a pretty lenient bridge troll.

THAT'S A HEFTY PRICE TAG.

[rebelmouse-image 18977402 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

A boy's soul.

AND SOME JAM AND MIMOSAS ON THE SIDE.

[rebelmouse-image 18979187 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Pastries. I'd be a very fat troll.

NO CARCASSES PAST THIS POINT.

[rebelmouse-image 18979188 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Cleaning up the dead bodies of people who littered near my bridge...

If there are no dead bodies then just go right on through... But don't even think about littering.

CRAFT? INTERNATIONAL? OR LOCAL?

[rebelmouse-image 18979189 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Beer. Just beer.

Seems appropriate if you live under a bridge.

DO YOU COVER DENTAL?

[rebelmouse-image 18346089 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

You must hand me an application form and be ready to work as an apprentice bridge troll. For the first few weeks you'll have a costume made of grass, but eventually through the lack of hygiene you will develop natural fungy infections, boils, and a hairy neckbeard.

Your role as an apprentice bridge troll will be to take application forms from travelers. Growing exponentially, we'll eventually be so numerous that we'll be able to overthrow the government of Cyrodiil and establish Trollism in all Tamriel. Questions?

REGULAR OR TERIYAKI?

[rebelmouse-image 18979190 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Beef jerky.

WHO HAS THAT KIND OF CASH?

[rebelmouse-image 18979191 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Pay my student loan debt.

AN EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL IS A MUST.

[rebelmouse-image 18979192 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Give me a puppy and you may pass.

IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS.

[rebelmouse-image 18352271 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Basic human decency.

DANCE. DANCE FOOL. DANCE.

[rebelmouse-image 18979194 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Make a fool out of yourself, only the humble may cross.

STICK WITH THE CLASSICS!

[rebelmouse-image 18979196 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Bacon cheese burger with fries and a chocolate shake.

OR ALL OF THE ABOVE.

[rebelmouse-image 18979197 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Cash or grass. Nobody crosses for free.

WE ONLY ALLOW THE BEST OF THE BEST THROUGH THIS BORDER.

[rebelmouse-image 18979198 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

You must answer me these questions three, ere the other side ye see.

What is your name?

What is your quest?

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Teacher standing in front of a classroom
Photo by Taylor Flowe on Unsplash

It's a teacher's job to leave a lasting impression and set a good example for their students.

With this in mind, particularly in this age of viral videos and social media, teachers have to be very careful of what they say during class hours.

Even so, there are very few teachers who haven't said something they've regretted when teaching a class.

Sometimes to control unruly students, other times when they've simply had enough.

Then too, sometimes teachers leave their students baffled and perplexed by what they say in their classroom, well aware of what they were saying.

Always making for a memorable story.

Keep reading...Show less
woman in white crew neck t-shirt sitting on gray sofa
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

As a kid, I never raised alarm bells even when I started to feel sick. My mom got stressed easily and was busy taking care of my younger brother, so I never wanted to be a burden by making her take me to the doctor only to find out nothing was wrong.

However, in fifth grade, my ears started to hurt and I knew something was wrong. I told my mom, she took me to the doctor, and I found out I had an ear infection.

Now, an ear infection isn't serious at all, and it was easily treatable. Still, I learned something from that experience: no one knows your body better than you. You know if and when you're sick and how serious it is, even if you don't now exactly what is wrong.

Redditors can corroborate this. Many of them have experienced symptoms that told them they were sick in some way -- usually with a very serious illness -- and are ready to share those experiences.

Keep reading...Show less
A couple holds hands on a date, candlelit table and two glasses of red wine
Photo by René Ranisch on Unsplash

When in the beginning stages of dating, it's important to know as much as humanly possible.

The element of surprise is no longer a fun aspect of romance.

Ask the small questions. Ask the hard questions.

Interrogate. Grill. Investigate.

Of course, you should do it with a subtle hand instead of an interrogation lamp.

The truth is all we have.

Ask everything.

Keep reading...Show less
Woman letting go of boyfriend's hand
Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

As much as we always hop for our dating efforts to be worth it and for every relationship to work out, we all know that some relationships are not destined to work out.

But sometimes relationships end for totally valid reasons, and sometimes the reasons are painful, if not devastating.

Keep reading...Show less