They say there are no stupid questions, but many would disagree. Every now and then, someone whom, by all accounts, seemed to be well put together––that is, until they opened their mouth––before they surprised the hell out of you with their ridiculous question. (And we haven't even gotten to the people who seem to have been born already thieving oxygen from the rest of us.
These people shared the stupidest questions they've ever been asked. Prepare to roll your eyes... significantly.
I work in a candy store, where we sell a lot of stuff with nuts.
Someone told me they didn't want peanuts, almonds, cashews, pecans, walnuts, or macadamia. They just asked if we had Regular Nuts.
A friend called me the other day while filing for unemployment. Her question was "have I been an elected official in the past two years?"
I taught her something, while i gently explained, no you have not.
My cousin asked me how our moms knew each other.
This is a cousin from my mother's side. He was 16.
During a high school assembly where a man told us about his time in Auschwitz and the deaths of his parents and siblings, one of my classmates asked if he "was sad that his whole family was killed"
A girl at my high school once asked "If a mom and dad go to China and have a baby will it look Chinese?"
The look the teacher gave was amazing.
"how do we survive with our ovaries exploding every month?" she literally thought her period was caused by her eggs exploding in her ovaries. Like they self detonate if not used.
"Was this based on a true story?"
-my wife, after we watched The Martian.
I work at a McDonalds, and someone comes through the drive through. "Can I have a quesadilla?" "No." "But why not? Did you discontinue them?" "Sir, we've never had quesadillas." "I'm pulling up to the window. Get your manager." calls a manager up while the guy pulls up to the window "why don't you guys have quesadillas?" "Why aren't you at Taco Bell?" "This isn't Taco Bell?" "Taco Bell is down the street. This is McDonalds." "Fine. I will have a McChicken."
I used to have a mild allergy to whey and couldn't consume any cow's milk or by-products, and when I was pregnant with my first kid, my friend's sister asked me, "but if you can't drink it, then how are you going to have milk for your baby?"
Cue my best Fry from Futurama narrowed-eyes face. This nearly 30yo woman not only didn't realize that breast milk comes from your blood supply (somewhat understandable), but she thought it ONLY came from when you actively drank milk from a cow.
"Can I use your scanner? I want to scan some pictures from my digital camera and your scanner is big enough for my camera screen to fit on it face down."
This was clearly some years ago, and the guy thought he had to place the viewing screen of the camera directly on to the scanner to scan pictures off it.
Thankfully, my brother managed to keep a straight face whilst explaining how that was not the case, as I made up and excuse and ran away to giggle.
An ex friend, after asking about and being told about labor my c section- you know, the thing where they cut you open and remove an infant from your body?
"So like... did you adopt her, or...?"
Yeah. I adopted her and had a c section for funsies.
"You know when someone is kind hearted? If they donated their heart to someone else when they died, would that person become kind hearted too?"
Not me, but a New Zealand acquaintance of mine who lives here in the US was asked "what's it like there? Y'know, with all the little people?" referring to hobbits. We all stared incredulously at this idiot who was legit waiting for an answer. As an American I have never been more embarrassed in my life.
How do people live on the lower half of the Earth?
She was a graduate student in my Masters program.
I got my cervical screening letter through last year and opened it in front of my ex.
My ex "Wait, I'm 27 why didn't I get one of these when I was 25?!" (Starts to panic)
I had to explain to my 27 year old then boyfriend what a cervix was.
Person calls on Tuesday with sick dog.
They tell me the symptoms over phone.
I recognize this as an emergency and tell them they need to go to clinic immediately, as I'm overbooked and can't get there and dog could very well die within 24 hours. I give them the number of two other vets.
"Oh, but I prefer you. Can you come Friday?"
Waiting for a train at a commuter station. On one side of the station building was a waiting area by the road for buses, on the other side by the railroad tracks was a waiting area for trains.
Mother went out the wrong door and waited by the road for the train. I told her the train was coming on the other side of the building, she said how do you know that, I said because that is where the tracks are.
I worked at a pharmacy a while ago. I've had many stupid questions from that line of work, but the best one was when a lady asked me which brand of tea tree oil has the best flavour because she was making some 'organic' toothpaste for her 5 year old.
I told her none, because they're all poisonous if ingested. She refused to believe me even after I showed her the poison warning labels on every tea tree product, and then asked me "how the hell did you get your job here?"
My sister was watching the fireworks at the lake with us and frowned.
'I feel bad for those guys on the other side, they have to watch the back of the fireworks.'
She gets FURIOUS when I tell this story.
While working at a lodge in Alaska a tourist asked me "At what elevation do deer turn into moose?"
"Can you test your digital control panels and sensors without power?"
"No. That's not how digital systems work."
Teaching a younger team member in retail and she was dumb. Beautiful but dumb which I think is why she was hired by the boss.
She gets given cash by the customer at the register, and asks what's she was supposed to do with it.
She gets given a broom and told to sweep, stops to ask how do you sweep.
She was told, and I quote, "stay on the registers and serve customers'. A customer comes to the register, she says she doesn't know what to do, so she walks off. When we find out the register is empty, and the customer angry, she is shopping in store.
We finally got her to stick to a register, it was because a friend of hers was in line. She talks with her friend and gives the items away. When pulled up on it, she asks "what's the point of a job if you've got all these rules you have to follow?"
I am a mailman and it was pouring, there was nowhere to shelter from the rain and I was too far away from my bycicle to save the mail so decided to deliver it as quick as possible
one woman came out of her house: "why is my mail wet!?"
he could see the f**cking rain, I managed to hold back a: "gee I wonder why its wet"