We try not to judge, but every once in awhile, somebody comes along that you just can't get a grasp of. That person likely stirred up/disturbed your day in a way that you didn't expect. But one thing is for sure--you will never forget them.
u/katiehanna_ asked:
Who is the strangest person you've ever met?
Here were some of those stories.
Conspiracies
GiphyYears ago when I worked at a shipping and copying place (similar to Kinko's) a guy would come in every so often with stacks of newspapers. He would cut up parts of different articles and tape the sections together to form his own stories, then run what he made through the copier to make it look like it was one actual article. He would then show them to me and tell me they were about him.
Usually the finished article was a combination of world news about terrorism and the sports section. The overall story was that he is a CIA agent fighting terrorism and his cover was being the quarterback for the Chicago Bears.
Organique
I used to work the drive through at a Del Taco that was open 24 hours a day. I had several odd experiences with a regular who came in about once a week towards the end of my employment there.
Experience 1: Man comes to window and asks if our bean and cheese burrito is organic. I say "probably not but I'm not sure." He decides that this means they absolutely must be 100% organic and orders 3 of them.
Experience 2: Same man comes to window shirtless. He explains that he is only shirtless because he was sweating profusely moments earlier (at 2am) and proceeds to hold a soaking wet shirt up to the window for me to touch as proof.
Experience 3. Same man comes to window, does not order anything, but tells me he is very happy that we are open 24 hours a day because "he is only awake at night."
Experience 4. Same man comes to window to tell me about a yoga studio he has been frequenting because they are open until 3am. He suggests I check it out. He does not order his usual "organic" bean and cheese burrito but rather our fish tacos because "he has decided to only eat fish."
Very nice man. Very strange man.
Charlie, Honestly
I went to a wilderness survival school and there was this guy there named Charlie who never wore a shirt, rode this really beat-up motorcycle everywhere, and mined Bitcoin for a living. He didn't bring a tent so he slept on a tarp on the ground for the whole week and ate canned beans even though we provided meals. He cried a lot and hugged everyone at the end of the week.
Charlie was pretty cool tbh.
Limericks
When I lived in Hawaii I used to meet a lot of weirdos. It's hard to pick a winner out of all of them but I'll go with the crazy Welsh guy for this entry.
I was sitting at a bus stop reading when he approached me.
"LIKE TO READ, EH?"
The caps lock is appropriate here because he always spoke like he's just barely refraining from going completely ballistic.
"Uh yeah," I said.
"I HAVE A BOOK OF POEMS I'VE WRITTEN. WOULD YOU LIKE TO READ THEM?"
"I guess so," I said.
He then thrust a manila folder at me, then added "THEY'RE WRITTEN BACKWARDS BECAUSE THEY'RE ABOUT WHO THE JEWS STOLE TIME."
"Uh thanks," I said.
"I HOPE YOU LIKE THEM," he said, then walked away.
According to the writing on the packet he was the co-president of the Hawaiian-Welsh Astral Society, which met weekly at a nearby park. The poems began with photocopies of a bunch of news articles he had annotated with comments I couldn't make any sense of before getting into the poetry itself, which made no reference to Jews anywhere that I could see but were dated in reverse chronology, which I guess is what he meant by them being written backwards. They were not very good poems.
Georgie Porgie Scared Me
GiphyGeorge
The first day I met him, he was rubbing his tummy. Under the shirt. It was weird, but not scary. I didn't think he was trying to be weird, just that he wanted to rub his tummy and this was the time to do it, mere coincidence that we were speaking.
One time he was shouting in his office, "SHUT UP SLAVE, SHUT UP SLAVE" over and over. We couldn't tell what he was saying at first, but he left quickly towards the elevators and still shouting in the lobby.
He would try to touch your elbow with his instead of a high five or anything.
He'd have random outbursts, similar to the "shut up slave", but more contained. Like, he'd know his reaction was uncalled for, however he wasn't able to control what he was saying.
As I got to know him more, I could tell that he was working on it and trying to get himself under control, however I don't know if he's ever been diagnosed with anything.
Psychological Lying
I called him John the liar...he was a coworker of mine in college at a sporting goods store. He lied about everything not just embellishing stories or adding a few extra details... just straight up lies. He would lie about what he ate for lunch even though I saw him eat it.
He told our manager that his dad was a 6'5 marine who helped take down Osama Bin Laden and then an hour later he told me his dad was a quadriplegic and had been for 30 years. Then he told me he got an override from the administration to take 24 credits one semester as a biology major...then I found out he was still in high school.
It was absolutely psychotic, I finally had to confront him about it when he started telling customers the completely wrong specs on all the guns we carried. He just lied some more and said that I was wrong or that I misunderstood him.
Eventually I had to ask my supervisor to schedule me on a different shift because I couldn't take it anymore.
Assault By Bookshelf
I managed a bookstore for a long time and you run into your share of weirdos, there. I could tell a million stories. One of the weirdest was this lady who came in a few times who would get dozens of books, browse through them, ask us to hold them, and then never ask to see them again or buy them, so we began just reshelving stuff immediately.
One day she came in and took over this one sitting area. She had probably close to a hundred books piled on the coffee table and the floor, and the other customers sitting there were clearly starting to get annoyed. I went over with a library cart and offered to take some of the books to the front of the store to hold onto them while she "shopped". She said no. I said at the very least I needed to put the books on the cart because it was hazardous to have piles of books in the aisle, but when I knelt to pick them up, she grabbed my hands and slammed them on the table, pinning my wrists down, and legit snarled at me. I managed to stay calm and told her to get her hands off of me, and told one of my co-managers who was nearby to call the police.
When the police came, they asked me if I wanted to press charges for assault, but I said no: I just wanted her trespassed from the property. He wrote out a trespass order and she pulled a folder out where she had a stack of trespass orders from various local businesses and filed it alphabetically - I guess she got banned from so many places, she found it hard to keep track.
The police ended up having to stay for a while because she kept circling her car through the parking lot and screaming obscenities at me. I don't remember everything she said, but I do know at one point she said "F*CK YOU. YOU'RE NOT THE REAL PRINCESS DIANA. I KNEW THE REAL PRINCESS DIANA AND YOU AREN'T HER, MOTHERF*CKER!" It took us over an hour to reshelve all her goddamn books.
I looked up her name online later when I got home. Turned out she was a prominent real estate agent the next city over. I cannot imagine showing up to an open house held by that lunatic.
The Lunch List
The cemetery groundskeeper in our hometown.
He did a very good job (the grounds were immaculate and perfectly landscaped), but he'd hover over people when they'd visited a grave - as if he didn't want anyone in his cemetery.
People wondered why he'd have his lunch inside the mausoleum on the grounds on sunny days instead of being outdoors. He'd say, "I prefer being with the dead than with the living."
I Hate You, Dan
I'll call him Dan. Dan was my roommate in a military school. Military school is already full of weirdos but Dan... Dan owns it. Here's a slight list of the atrocities I had with my man, Dan;
Dan kept a dead bird he found outside in his desk. He wanted to get its bones and sell it to a museum.
Dan was filling up a half gallon bottle with dip spit. He plan was to one day use the collected amount and "repackage" it into empty dip cans to sell to people. I almost threw up twice remembering this. One day, he didn't tighten the lid and it spilled into his footlocker. Three times almost threw up.
In six months of knowing Dan, I saw him shower three times. He was quite stinky fellow. I was his roommate.
He thought he was a vampire. I asked him why. He said he didn't like sunlight. I explained that he never went into the sun so that's why it bothered him. He said his mom had to file his fangs when he was born. I explained to him newborns do not have teeth usually. He told me he drank blood and liked it. I asked if it was his. He said no. I asked who the f*ck gave him blood. He said he was sworn to secrecy. I said the name of another weirdo at the school because I just f*cking knew it. He was basically like "lol, that's him."
We had these giant bed cover things we called bed condoms. It was a large cloth like bag that you put over a twin mattress in our barracks bunk beds. Nobody used them because it made it harder to make your bed for inspections. Reason I bring this up? Dan never did his laundry. We had pickup service. Literally you just leave a bag of clothes out your door someone picks it up and folds it. Dan never did his laundry. Dan's laundry was too much for his laundry bag. Dan starting using his bed condom. Dan filled his bed condom. One day, I threaten to beat his ass if he didn't get his laundry done. I woke up him up in the morning prior to the pickup and went to go shower. As I was leaving, I witnessed him pouring his dirty ass laundry onto his bed. I went to shower. When I came back, Dan was cocooned in a massive pile of dirty laundry on his bed that he was sleeping naked in. He did not emerge from his sacred slumber as a beautiful butterfly. He was still Dan.
Dan would masturbate at my computer at night when he thought I was asleep to weird anime flash games. I only caught him once and changed my PW. Who knows how many times he stroked that vienna sausage till his eyes rolled back.
One time, my buddy and I went out. We came back to watch a movie and Dan had like three beers or whatever so was laying in his bed. There was a beer bottle on my desk in which my buddy asked if it was mine and I said no. He said it was almost empty so he was going to spit in it as he put a dip in. After about 15 minutes, he said he didn't want to spit in it anymore because it was warm. I said something about it was on top of my computer hard drive so maybe the computer warmed it up. Buddy left for a minute. Dan proceeds to tell me that the bottle is warm because he peed in it. He left it it on my desk. I beat up Dan.
Dan left boogers under my desk.
Dan was morbidly obese and disgusting. Somehow Dan's mom was fine. Shockingly attractive.
Dan bought a Russian trench coat and a gas mask.He would sometimes sleep in them.
Dan snored loudly.
People were not fond of Dan. One night he was sprayed with the fire extinguisher while watching stuff on his computer... and hallucinating on Robitussin. He fell down and busted his head.
Dan got written up because the sow that he drank blood from and Dan were caught repeatedly playing around the dumpster by the cadet chain of command. We do not know why they liked the dumpster.
One time I walked into the room and there was a strange gold tint to it. I had been gone all weekend and was confused. I walked into my room and was like basically what the f*ck. I looked over and I see Dan and blood donation idiot smiling at me with gold paint on their mouths. I noticed the spray paint can on the desk. I left the room.
Ever heard of pouring Listerine through slice of bread will filter the alcohol out so you can drink it? Dan heard this rumor too. Dan got sick that day after growing frustrated and eating the slice of bread.
Ever heard that if you leave oranges out, the mold can make you hallucinate? Me neither. Dan did! He grew frustrated and ate the orange. Dan was sick again.
I am forgetting things about Dan. I know it. I may add if I remember some other ones.
I was not fond of Dan.
If you enjoy this, read about Buck.
I am not fond of him too.
Edit Specialist Buck It's full blown military jargon but pretty sure they came from the same breeding.
Trapped In A Convo
GiphyAn old lady that used to live in my town who was usually just known as the "I say!" lady. She was usually seen accompanied by a large dog. She was called that because she started all conversations with adults with "I say....".
She was an absolute terror to children. If a child came within a few feet she would berate them for being near and say the dog would attack them (the dog seemed more terrified of her and I never heard of it attacking anyone). We kids all knew to just leave her alone.
With adults, she was a totally different person and would be extremely friendly. Adults knew to avoid her too because she would talk to them for hours if you let them and literally chase after you if you tried to leave.
Important Lessons People Have Learned The Hard Way
Reddit user IndianaC0NES asked: 'What’s an important lesson you learned the hard way?'
We've all had to learn something the hard way or at a super inconvenient time.
But because we're always learning new things, of course there will have to be some things that we learn later, rather than sooner, no matter the consequences of learning it too late.
Redditor IndianaC0NES asked:
"What's an important lesson you learned the hard way?"
Money Management
"Do not spend like there’s no tomorrow. Tomorrow will come and it won’t be pretty."
- cpu5555
Permanent Partner
"Never have kids with someone you don’t want in your life forever."
- pntszrn74
Make It Official First
"Money doesn’t exist until the deposit hits your bank account, and business promises mean nothing until legal documents are signed."
- FriscoFrank98
Know Your Limits
"Learn when to stop drinking and call it a night."
- Gadrilor
Trust Your Gut
"If something feels wrong, it likely is."
- drzed47
"This is closely related to, 'If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.'"
- remag_nation
The Importance of Dental Health
"Dental care is expensive!! Never be lazy with oral hygiene."
- the_rice_life
"And dental problems are EXTREMELY PAINFUL."
- Next-Confection3261
Be Careful Who You Share It With
"Not everyone has the same heart as you do."
- Accomplished_Hat2770
Be Wary of Bullies
"Not everyone is a good person. Some people actually want to see you fail. Stop oversharing. These nasty people will use it against you."
- Ko_ogs72
"My brain still can't comprehend someone being a d**k for no reason."
- Arny520
Recognize the Red Flags
"Don't let love blind your eyes, red flags are real."
- Fxk07
"And: No one is worth sacrificing your self-respect for."
- Waltzing_Methusalah
"It sucks when you’re halfway to learning this lesson before you even realize it. It’s so important to know your boundaries and respect yourself with the diligence required to walk away from people creating toxic patterns in your life, even or ESPECIALLY before you have the full picture to work with."
"We all know it’s heading south long before these things have terrible consequences on oneself/life. At a certain point, it’s too late to escape unscathed. Self-respect and what amounts to the ‘sunken-cost dilemma’ NEVER go together in relationships."
- brashbabu
The Likelihood of Success
"It's possible to make no wrong moves and still lose."
- Tropicsenshi
Family Ties
"Your family doesn't always have your best interest at heart."
- OhMyGodBearIsDriving
"Sometimes, family are just a bunch of bad people who are biologically related to you."
- noorofmyeye24
Wear the Helmet
"WEAR A HELMET."
"It's an easy safety precaution you can take when rollerblading, biking, skateboarding, scootering, etc. And it can literally save your life."
"I went all through the 90s thinking helmets were lame... I Fell while rollerblading in my 30s and got a subdural hematoma. I wasn't going fast but the momentum from how I fell just slammed my head into the concrete."
"HELMETS SAVE LIVES."
- Shortiie5115
Proper Eye and Ear Care
"Here is my PSA about eye protection. You only have two eyes and many injuries are not repairable. I have a completely s**t vision in one eye because of an injury and I'm constantly paranoid about something happening to the good eye. Wear safety glasses folk, it's important."
- ipsok
"And ear protection. You do not want Tinnitus."
- farmerofstrawberries
Love Your Loved Ones
"Always take a chance to tell someone you love them. To give them a hug."
"Never end a conversation with a harsh word."
"Both for the same reason. You never know if you will get to see that person alive again."
"I learned both those lessons from each of my parents."
- Edgezg
Self Advocate
"Stand up for yourself. If you get in the habit of letting people walk all over you, it'll be extremely difficult to reverse. Even if you're not confident, just fake it till you make it!"
- MISTERDIEABETIC
As humans, we will never stop learning and taking in new information, but there are, of course, some things that we wish we could have learned sooner or through an easier path.
But at least now that we've learned these lessons, we can share them with others, so they might not have to take the same path we did.
From a young age, we've all had it drilled into us the importance of finding a good job that we can work at for the rest of our lives.
But sometimes those jobs don't work out for one reason or another, and sometimes all of the fault gets pinned on the employee.
Redditor DankGamer135 asked:
"What one mistake ended your career?"
A Scam Order
"While working at a builders’ merchant's, a customer called to place an order over the phone (not unusual) and wanted to give me the card details, there and then (red flag)."
"I initially refused, but another member of staff vouched for them as they were regulars. I put the order through, knowing that whoever came to collect would need to come into the office for their paperwork before loading, so we would have them on CCTV if it did turn out to be suspect…"
"Except the yard crew didn’t follow the process. When a van turned up for the goods, they loaded it all up and sent them away without asking for any kind of ID or manifest."
"The payment card was later reported as stolen, and the staff member who vouched for the customer denied even being in that day, which was a f**king lie as she never took time off. I got fired and everyone else got to keep their jobs."
- Shas_Erra
"That sounds like a setup. They should’ve been easily able to verify whether the person that vouched for them was working that day (check her clock in/out times, CCTV, etc)."
"At the very least, someone on the yard crew should’ve gotten fired too because they didn’t follow procedure either (and it’s even worse because if they had, it could’ve been stopped dead in the tracks)."
"I’m sorry, man."
- princessleyley
Lifting Wrong
"I lifted wrong. 14 years of arboriculture coming to an end now, and I'm not sure of the next job."
- Spaghettitrees
"14 years might be enough to move into a supervisory/managerial role if one exists in the field. It would allow you to still utilize your experience to some degree."
- srentiln
A Screaming Match
"I worked retail pharmacy for 10(ish) years. One day in the drive-thru, we had a belligerent patient. The guy's doctor sent his script to our other chain about 1.5 miles down the road. We were on the same street, and addresses get mixed up all the time. No biggie, give me 10 minutes and I'll have it ready..."
"But the dude just starts laying into me for no reason. Calls me an id**t. Calls me incompetent. Says he knows where his doctor sent it and I'm a lazy, lying piece of s**t. Etc, etc."
"After a few MINUTES going back and forth, with this guy yelling loud enough in my drive-thru that other staff inside the store can hear him, I tell him he needs to leave and find a new pharmacy."
"The guy lays into me again. Refuses to leave. I tell him, 'F**k off or I'm calling the police.'"
"Apparently, that was over the line for my company. No interview with HR. No discipline. No suspension. They just straight up fired my a** about three weeks later after an 'internal investigation.'"
- frithjofr
Physical Space
"One of the Directors wasn't happy with some work I'd done and started poking me hard with his finger to punctuate his comments."
"I punctuated back considerably more forcefully."
- jonnymars
The Angel of Death
"I called the HR lady the 'Angel of Death' to a coworker on chat. (HR was in a different state, so any time they came to town we all knew it was most likely to lay off people.)"
"The Angel of death came to get me shortly after, lol (laughing out loud)."
- michaudra2
"I once worked in a company as the help desk tech that would come collect tech while people were in with HR getting fired. I got the nickname Grim Reaper, because if I showed up with my cart and nobody in that department called, then one of their colleagues wouldn't be coming back from their meeting with HR."
- Houseplantkiller123
Home Sweet Home
"I built a castle out of Christmas chocolate biscuit boxes in the warehouse of a major retailer on a night shift and proceeded to fall asleep in it for a few hours."
- masontraining
The Wrong Recipient
"I sent a scathing email about my boss directly to my boss. It wasn't meant for him."
"To this day, I still have no idea what possessed me to put his name in the address bar. I noticed his name the exact moment I hit send."
"You have never felt that much panic."
- Happy1327
A Brand New Car
"I was a part-time intern making $9 an hour (USD) and my boss asked if I had any plans for the weekend."
"I had said I was going to buy a new car (very much old and used as that's what I could afford) and he asked if I was buying a brand new car. My response was that my budget isn't big enough for a new car."
"A couple of weeks later during my one-year review, my manager said they didn't have the work for me and that I was disrespectful for telling the boss I didn't make enough money."
"At the time I was living comfortably as a college student who just needed different transportation. I tried not to be disrespectful but apparently I was."
- Kulee43
Fired in Retaliation
"I got security responsibilities added to my duties as a sysadmin at a small university. I was asked by my boss' boss, the IT director, to do a security audit. He asked me to report on the audit at a department meeting."
"I asked if I could present my results to him privately instead and have him present at the meeting, but he insisted I could take care of it."
"My report showed major security holes, demonstrations of tests of said holes, and recommendations for patching said holes. Many of the patches were at the level of 'change the administrator password from 'password' to something less obvious.'"
"As my political acumen was near zero at the time, I didn't realize how the report on major security problems made the IT Director look completely incompetent in front of the entire department. He had built and configured the campus computer system pretty much on his own, at least in his mind, and was quite proud of his accomplishment."
"He suspended me on the spot, demoted me, and tried to convince the university to fire me and try to bring me up on criminal charges for hacking into the university's computer systems."
- firelock_ny
A Terrible Accident
"I had a workplace accident, a fall from an extreme height. I didn't get fired but broke enough bones that I'll never work in that industry again."
- Malromen
Out of Context
"I was opening my packages in the mailroom, using a pocket knife to slice open the packing tape. The secretary came in and chatted. We’re both Italian so we gesture a lot while talking."
"Sometime after the conversation, the Ops manager came down from his office and escorted me out of the building. I had forgotten the knife was in my hand while talking with the secretary, and she made an accusation that I had threatened her with it during our conversation."
"I was fired three days later."
"I had worked with this woman for almost a decade. I helped her children with their homework, etc."
"Years later, I learned corporate wanted to take down my boss and started the process by going after his biggest supporters. I was the third domino to fall. After I was railroaded, almost 40% of the branch’s staff left the company. I guess the secretary was in on it and leaped at any excuse to take me out."
"Shame. Really loved that job. And got fired when my first child was due in only four weeks. It was very demoralizing for quite a while."
- Bokuden101
Stolen Cigarettes
"This isn't about me, but a guy I worked with was caught stealing two cigarettes from a colleague's bag. He was on a six-figure salary. Not anymore!"
- Rude-Scholar-469
"How can anybody be so dumb? Especially as a smoker, he should be aware how other smokers are very likely to share their cigarettes with you if you just ask them."
- SherifGames
The Stolen Lunch
"This didn't happen to me, but I remember a coworker of mine getting fired because he put laxatives in his own lunch bag. Some d*ckhead kept stealing parts of our lunches. Turned out, it was our supervisor."
"I'm not too keen on the specifics since that coworker and I weren't exactly friends or anything. I just kind of had simple conversations during lunch and whatnot."
"Apparently, it is illegal to poison food with malicious intent. And some of my friends who worked there said he got into some legal trouble because of it. Nothing came of it from what I heard. But that's about all I know."
- DeicideandDivide
A Slanderous Date
"I went on a first date with a girl who turned out to be a horrible person 20 minutes in."
"I did what I could to get out of it because she was telling stories about crazy things she’d done and was proud of. I didn’t pull anything to get out of it, just dodged land mines and asked a ton of questions about her so I could get out of it sooner."
"Then I said I wasn’t feeling the connection and I wanted to be honest so we didn’t waste each other's time."
"I found out a week later that she contacted my previous employers, because she found my LinkedIn, told them all stories about how I talked a ton of s**t about them all. And now I can’t get a reference from my previous three jobs… and people I was on good terms with."
"All because I went on a date with a psychopath."
- FirstFlight
Taking Sides
"I sided with the peeps under me as their manager."
- ThunderClap449
"It's more important to have the back of the people you represent. In my experience, you get better production out of people who know you go to bat for them. Then your numbers and team performance look good and they figure, well, he must be doing something right."
- A_Vile_Person
While it is always terrible to lose a job, these stories make it clear that sometimes we lose jobs for reasons that really should be no fault of our own. From fraud to accidents to false charges, people have been fired for things they certainly shouldn't have been.
And for those who were fired for reasons that wholly were their fault, well, at least that was a learning experience.
Emotions are high at weddings, with the bride and groom going through various stages of anxiety and excitement.
During those stages, seeing how well a newly wedding couple interacts with each other as well as with other family members and friends under pressure can indicate how well they work together as a team.
If professional wedding photographers had years of experience capturing one of the most monumental milestones for couples, they would be able to identify if a couple can make it for the long haul.
Curious to hear from them, Redditor Arknight40 asked:
"Wedding photographers of Reddit, what was your 'they're not gonna last long' moment?"
Some marriages had problems before saying "I do".
The Last Session
"Bride looked visibly miserable the entire ceremony. While photographing the men’s 'getting ready' portion, the groom repeatedly kept joking about killing himself."
"During the toast, the bride ran off to the bathroom for about 30 minutes and came back wiping her tears with her eyes red and puffy. Neither of them had any chemistry at all, it made no sense why they were together to me. That was the last wedding I shot."
– Majestic_Storage_563
Groom's Wandering Eye
"I'm a videographer and the groom called me a couple days after the wedding. He wanted me to make sure I didn't include any footage of him checking out the women at the wedding."
– Tim0281
Party Bride
"One of those hotel venues that can run two weddings at the same time. Bride from our wedding is found in a hotel room with the groomsmen from the other wedding doing drugs before the first dance. End result was we got paid and were told no need to edit or deliver pics. Safe to say It didn't last the night."
– mysticsika
Red Flags Galore
"The engagement session."
"The couple was in from out of town because she had just taken the bar exam to become a lawyer. At the end of the session, I gave them a prompt to share with each other what they were proud of each other for. He couldn't think of a single thing."
"Somehow they still got married, complete with: the groom drinking 11 IPAs + several shots before the ceremony, mother of the bride so drunk for family photos she pretended to strip, and the groom and all the groomsmen wearing camo hats with neon orange letters that said 't*tties and beer.' For the entire wedding day. Including sunset couples photos where he refused to do anything I suggested, nearly spat chew right on my feet, kept farting on purpose, and loudly complained about how all he wanted was to go have sex."
– V-Savage
Demanding clients indicated how difficult they might be as a spouse.
Once More From The Top
"Wedding was on a golf course. Bride had a vision she wanted of her husband driving up on a golf cart to see her for a first look."
"He got one look at her from the top of the hill and vaulted the cart, ran down the hill, picked her up and twirled her around to tell her how gorgeous she was. We caught it all. It was the best first look ever."
"Once he set her down she straightened herself and looked back to us. 'Okay, I don’t want that. Let’s do the golf cart now.' And she sent him back up."
– Pancakes_Whisperer
More Photoshop Please
"I did a wedding for an acquaintance and her husband. Day goes great, I’m really happy with almost everything I took, everyone was feeling it and having fun. But, (and this is one of the reasons I quit photography) the bride sees some of the photos I had sent her, and immediately is calling me. 'I need you to do the editing magic and make me look skinny, John was saying I was going to look too fat in my dress and wanted me to lose weight but I knew you could just edit it, so haha I didn’t'. So I have to explain (this is like 2010) I can only photoshop so much, I.e. I can make you look a tad slimmer in certain photos without making it noticeable. But I can’t do it to all of them, and if I was to, the editing would be noticeable, and I will have to charge you a lot of money to edit you in all the photos. She tried to convince me to edit hundreds of photos for a couple hundred bux, and I have other jobs going and had given them a great deal already so explained I couldn’t. So she insist I do at least some of her main pics, I tell her when people see the rest of the pics they will see the difference, she didn’t care and insisted more. So I do, and a couple weeks later when I thought it was all done and history calls me and leaves me a voicemail of how I ruined her wedding, her new husband is upset at how she looks in the pics and keeps making remarks about her weight. So didn’t seem like they were in a great place from the get go."
– Jadedsatire
A Secret Arrangement
"While shooting video, I attached a microphone to the groom for audio and proceeded to prepare for the ceremony. Just as I was about to adjust my audio settings, the groom stepped into another room with a friend. As I put on my headphones, I overheard the groom confiding in his friend, describing the wedding as a 'wedding of convenience' and reassuring them not to be concerned about what would happen in their relationship."
– NoodleMaps
The best man shouldn't have too much to drink. They might overshare.
Cold, Hard Truth
"Went to a wedding during college to my friends that got married who graduated 2 years prior to me. They had a beautiful wedding on a boat off the Keys and as the best man gave his speech, he was really drunk by this point, just shouted out, 'You don't deserve her, you literally got a bj from a stripper no make that two strippers at your bachelor party. Peace out.' He dropped the mic and tried to do a dramatic exit but by this point we were all stuck on this boat in the middle of the ocean. It took an hour to get back to port, and it was the most awful and awkward hour of our lives for everyone on that boat."
– breakitupkid
A Harsh Roast
"in another life, i worked catering shifts. loads of saturday weddings. i'll never forget the best-man's toast of the groom. it was a shameless roast. he spoke openly about the groom's willingness to shag anything when he's drunk. he then went on and on about the groom's deadly gambling habit and his short fuse when he doesn't win. he asked the stone-faced groom 'how many thousands of dollars in golf clubs have you destroyed or lost in countless ponds?' nobody was laughing. the bride had tears in her eyes and the groom's parents sat in stunned silence."
– dys_p0tch
Some people aren't marriage material.
Disasterous
"This was 15 years ago or so, I left wedding photography a few months later."
"The reception was at their home, they didn't want photos at the ceremony, and didn't want wedding party/family photos between the ceremony and reception triggering the first raise of the eyebrow on my end. At the reception the groom didn't want his brother, the best man, in the photos. Other eyebrow goes up. The mothers of both the bride and groom both scolded me to let them be and told me to eat instead of take photos. The groom and the best man got unholy drunk and had a weird by play of brother making way too many toasts and the groom making grossly inappropriate speeches of what he's going to do to the bride on the honeymoon."
"As the newlyweds were making their grand departure the bride tosses the bouquet, everyone cheers. The groom shouts 'I knocked the b*tch up so hard she's got two babies in her c**chie"' Guest react in various ways of shock and happiness about the pregnancy test but the best man lunges at the groom shouting and swearing. Family holds the best man back as the couple runs out to a car. The groom flipped off the spectators, and pulled out of the driveway. Two houses down the car stops, the groom gets out and pukes on a neighbor's lawn, the bride gets in the driver's seat and takes off, leaving her husband yurking into a flower bed, and the best man ran down the street trying to flag down the car."
"Divorced four months later."
– OmicronPerseiNate
These are but a mere sampling of weddings gone wrong or couples that should never have gotten together in the first place.
Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
We've all found ourselves in a position where we simply couldn't contain ourselves and found ourselves putting someone in their place owing to something they said which was either wrong or just plain stupid.
When it comes to the latter category, though, it's often worth taking a minute to wonder if fighting that particular battle is even worth it.
As many people who are about to shoot down their current conversation partner might take a minute and really examine the person they're talking with before remembering the old saying: "Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."
Sadly, some people remember this conversation too late, and find themselves falling down a conversational rabbit hole from which they may never escape.
“'Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience'.” What's your best real life example of this?"
They Literally Won't be "Shut Down"
"When I tell people to just reboot your computer and it will fix all their problems and yet they won't because they said if you wait long enough it will shut down, when in reality it only goes to sleep."
"Then when I tell them they have to completely shut it down they look at me like I'm an idiot and say they did."
"I tell them it seems like it but it only went to sleep."
"They argue back."- niallaa
Some People Just Don't Get It...
"I used to argue a lot with my sister when we were kids."
"She would do this thing where she would say something, and then I would reference back to it literally a minute or two later to prove a point and she would say 'I never said that' or 'that’s not what I said'."
"Absolutely impossible to argue with someone who will just deny having said things that could hurt their argument."
"Also, trying to change the course of an argument if they feel like they are 'losing'."
"A coworker once called me an idiot for doing something 'incorrectly' when I was actually doing it the right way."
"When I politely explained to them that the way they suggested doing the task didn’t actually work, they started asking 'why are you getting so angry?? I was just trying to help' etc."
"So now we’re arguing about whether I’m angry or not instead of the right way to complete the task."- themightypianocat
Facts Are Facts...
"Arguing is pointless if you do not agree on a set of facts."- niallaa
Facts GIF by Judge JerryGiphyYou Can't Have It Both Ways...
"For a short while, I worked as a line cook at a Cracker Barrel, and there was a little saloon style door that led to the staff section (kitchen, bathroom, etc)."
"There was a staff only sign on the door, above the doors, and on the wall behind the doors at eye level."
"Usually if someone from the customer side comes in, they said, 'Coming in' before opening the door, so they didn't hit anyone, but of course customers didn't know that."
"So when this dude opened the door and hit a waitress carrying a ton of drinks, we were reasonably upset with him."
"He said, ;You should really put a sign up'."
"We showed him all the signs, and he goes, 'That seems a bit excessive'."- GreyFoxHound1
So Wrong.
"Had an employee sign an NDA about an upcoming art installation that had investors."
"He told everyone."
"He argued with me the NDA only meant he couldn’t disclose anything with the people in the company."- BosskHogg
He Knew What He Was Talking About
This was best said:
“'Never wrestle with pigs'."
"'You both get dirty and the pig likes it'.― George Bernard Shaw"- Zerowantuthri·
pigs GIFGiphySome Outdated Inventions Are Definitely Not Missed...
"I’m showing my age here but I used to work for an estate agency, and we had sales offices set up at the site of large new housing developments."
"Our primary method of communication was fax."
"One of the sales associates telephoned our office to say that the fax machine had run out of paper."
"No problem, I said, one of the guys is coming your way later for a house tour, I’ll give him a box of paper to give to you."
"We then had an almost 20 minute long argument when they kept insisting 'NO, YOU JUST SEND ME A BLANK FAX BECAUSE I NEED THE PAPER, IT WILL JUST COME OUT OF MY FAX MACHINE'.”
"It was like trying to nail jelly to a tree."
"Difficult, irritating, and it achieved nothing."- BettieKat
Very Few Hills Are Worth Dying On...
"I had a friend in university who was a world-class high school debater."
"Over meals, she liked to pick a ridiculous proposition and then talk circles around people until they had to concede to her point, no matter how absurd."
"When she tried it with me, I just stonewalled her."
"Met every point with a solid 'I don't think that's true'." or 'That doesn't make sense'."
"Eventually she gave up and never tried it with me again."
"It was the only time I've ever used the tactics of the stupid to win an argument."
"But, to be fair, if you're not arguing with me in good faith, I feel no obligation to respond in good faith."- kitskill
IS The Customer Always Right?...
"Working retail."
"Especially when I worked in the tech shop or a computer store."
" Trying to convince someone their $500 laptop is never going to be a gaming system no matter how many of the very few replaceable parts we throw at it can be exhausting."- MOS95B
happy episode 7 GIFGiphyEducation Only Matters If You Learned Something....
"Was arguing with this dude about something math-related."
"He didn’t know how to read a study that involved statistics. claimed he was in multiple AP math classes."
"Tried saying that I 'probably don’t even know basic integration'."
"Gave me a common integration problem."
"He wrote it but forgot the minus sign, making it unsolvable."
"I pointed it out and he edited the comment to make it correct."
"Told him that some people can see when you edit comments."
"He claimed that he just capitalized a letter. on and on and on."- SaturdayNightCity
Good Legal Counsel Might Be Worth The Splurge...
"I asked a representative from the Friend of the Court to explain something she said and she told me that I understood what she was saying."
"I replied that I wouldn't have asked her to explain if I had understood."
"She said if I was going to be difficult, she would hold me in contempt."
"My X chimed in that she didn't quite understand what she had said and was greeted with a smile and an explanation."
"From that point on I always disagreed with the Friend of the Court on EVERYTHING, so that I could be seen by the 'Actual Court' and a Judge."- PURPLEPEE
Season 4 Episode 21 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphySore Winners Are No More Attractive Than Sore Losers...
"Once worked with a guy who, by his own admission, got his rocks off by picking fights."
"He'd start an argument over the smallest thing."
"If you said it was white, he'd say it was black, just to try to start something."
"The one that always stood out for me was the weather app competition."
"One day he asked me what temperature it was, so I read it off my weather app."
"He got all offended, because his weather app said it was a couple degrees warmer."
"So he decides we're going to have a weather app competition."
"He was going to chart what our apps said the temperature was, and at the end of the week, whichever one was closest to that day's high would be the winner."
"And the loser would have to start using the winner's app."
"To which I said, "What is your f*cking problem?'"
"So, yeah."
"For the first few days, he'd make a big performance about marching into my office, recording the temperature off my app, jotting down some notes, and walking off."
"This started on a Monday."
"He gave up after Wednesday."
"Either because I was winning, or he was disappointed because, despite his best efforts, I just did not give a f*ck about weather apps."
"Or maybe the boss told him to stop because I filed a complaint that this was bordering on harassment."- originalchaosinabox
Im Always Right GIF by ZionGiphyIt should perhaps be said calling someone an idiot, or even thinking it, is not a particularly nice thing to do.
Even so, if you're tempted to do so when you're in the presence of a particular individual, probably best not to provoke them.
After all, if you're so determined to "win," does it really make you any better than them?