We try not to judge, but every once in awhile, somebody comes along that you just can't get a grasp of. That person likely stirred up/disturbed your day in a way that you didn't expect. But one thing is for sure--you will never forget them.
u/katiehanna_ asked:
Who is the strangest person you've ever met?
Here were some of those stories.
Conspiracies
GiphyYears ago when I worked at a shipping and copying place (similar to Kinko's) a guy would come in every so often with stacks of newspapers. He would cut up parts of different articles and tape the sections together to form his own stories, then run what he made through the copier to make it look like it was one actual article. He would then show them to me and tell me they were about him.
Usually the finished article was a combination of world news about terrorism and the sports section. The overall story was that he is a CIA agent fighting terrorism and his cover was being the quarterback for the Chicago Bears.
Organique
I used to work the drive through at a Del Taco that was open 24 hours a day. I had several odd experiences with a regular who came in about once a week towards the end of my employment there.
Experience 1: Man comes to window and asks if our bean and cheese burrito is organic. I say "probably not but I'm not sure." He decides that this means they absolutely must be 100% organic and orders 3 of them.
Experience 2: Same man comes to window shirtless. He explains that he is only shirtless because he was sweating profusely moments earlier (at 2am) and proceeds to hold a soaking wet shirt up to the window for me to touch as proof.
Experience 3. Same man comes to window, does not order anything, but tells me he is very happy that we are open 24 hours a day because "he is only awake at night."
Experience 4. Same man comes to window to tell me about a yoga studio he has been frequenting because they are open until 3am. He suggests I check it out. He does not order his usual "organic" bean and cheese burrito but rather our fish tacos because "he has decided to only eat fish."
Very nice man. Very strange man.
Charlie, Honestly
I went to a wilderness survival school and there was this guy there named Charlie who never wore a shirt, rode this really beat-up motorcycle everywhere, and mined Bitcoin for a living. He didn't bring a tent so he slept on a tarp on the ground for the whole week and ate canned beans even though we provided meals. He cried a lot and hugged everyone at the end of the week.
Charlie was pretty cool tbh.
Limericks
When I lived in Hawaii I used to meet a lot of weirdos. It's hard to pick a winner out of all of them but I'll go with the crazy Welsh guy for this entry.
I was sitting at a bus stop reading when he approached me.
"LIKE TO READ, EH?"
The caps lock is appropriate here because he always spoke like he's just barely refraining from going completely ballistic.
"Uh yeah," I said.
"I HAVE A BOOK OF POEMS I'VE WRITTEN. WOULD YOU LIKE TO READ THEM?"
"I guess so," I said.
He then thrust a manila folder at me, then added "THEY'RE WRITTEN BACKWARDS BECAUSE THEY'RE ABOUT WHO THE JEWS STOLE TIME."
"Uh thanks," I said.
"I HOPE YOU LIKE THEM," he said, then walked away.
According to the writing on the packet he was the co-president of the Hawaiian-Welsh Astral Society, which met weekly at a nearby park. The poems began with photocopies of a bunch of news articles he had annotated with comments I couldn't make any sense of before getting into the poetry itself, which made no reference to Jews anywhere that I could see but were dated in reverse chronology, which I guess is what he meant by them being written backwards. They were not very good poems.
Georgie Porgie Scared Me
GiphyGeorge
The first day I met him, he was rubbing his tummy. Under the shirt. It was weird, but not scary. I didn't think he was trying to be weird, just that he wanted to rub his tummy and this was the time to do it, mere coincidence that we were speaking.
One time he was shouting in his office, "SHUT UP SLAVE, SHUT UP SLAVE" over and over. We couldn't tell what he was saying at first, but he left quickly towards the elevators and still shouting in the lobby.
He would try to touch your elbow with his instead of a high five or anything.
He'd have random outbursts, similar to the "shut up slave", but more contained. Like, he'd know his reaction was uncalled for, however he wasn't able to control what he was saying.
As I got to know him more, I could tell that he was working on it and trying to get himself under control, however I don't know if he's ever been diagnosed with anything.
Psychological Lying
I called him John the liar...he was a coworker of mine in college at a sporting goods store. He lied about everything not just embellishing stories or adding a few extra details... just straight up lies. He would lie about what he ate for lunch even though I saw him eat it.
He told our manager that his dad was a 6'5 marine who helped take down Osama Bin Laden and then an hour later he told me his dad was a quadriplegic and had been for 30 years. Then he told me he got an override from the administration to take 24 credits one semester as a biology major...then I found out he was still in high school.
It was absolutely psychotic, I finally had to confront him about it when he started telling customers the completely wrong specs on all the guns we carried. He just lied some more and said that I was wrong or that I misunderstood him.
Eventually I had to ask my supervisor to schedule me on a different shift because I couldn't take it anymore.
Assault By Bookshelf
I managed a bookstore for a long time and you run into your share of weirdos, there. I could tell a million stories. One of the weirdest was this lady who came in a few times who would get dozens of books, browse through them, ask us to hold them, and then never ask to see them again or buy them, so we began just reshelving stuff immediately.
One day she came in and took over this one sitting area. She had probably close to a hundred books piled on the coffee table and the floor, and the other customers sitting there were clearly starting to get annoyed. I went over with a library cart and offered to take some of the books to the front of the store to hold onto them while she "shopped". She said no. I said at the very least I needed to put the books on the cart because it was hazardous to have piles of books in the aisle, but when I knelt to pick them up, she grabbed my hands and slammed them on the table, pinning my wrists down, and legit snarled at me. I managed to stay calm and told her to get her hands off of me, and told one of my co-managers who was nearby to call the police.
When the police came, they asked me if I wanted to press charges for assault, but I said no: I just wanted her trespassed from the property. He wrote out a trespass order and she pulled a folder out where she had a stack of trespass orders from various local businesses and filed it alphabetically - I guess she got banned from so many places, she found it hard to keep track.
The police ended up having to stay for a while because she kept circling her car through the parking lot and screaming obscenities at me. I don't remember everything she said, but I do know at one point she said "F*CK YOU. YOU'RE NOT THE REAL PRINCESS DIANA. I KNEW THE REAL PRINCESS DIANA AND YOU AREN'T HER, MOTHERF*CKER!" It took us over an hour to reshelve all her goddamn books.
I looked up her name online later when I got home. Turned out she was a prominent real estate agent the next city over. I cannot imagine showing up to an open house held by that lunatic.
The Lunch List
The cemetery groundskeeper in our hometown.
He did a very good job (the grounds were immaculate and perfectly landscaped), but he'd hover over people when they'd visited a grave - as if he didn't want anyone in his cemetery.
People wondered why he'd have his lunch inside the mausoleum on the grounds on sunny days instead of being outdoors. He'd say, "I prefer being with the dead than with the living."
I Hate You, Dan
I'll call him Dan. Dan was my roommate in a military school. Military school is already full of weirdos but Dan... Dan owns it. Here's a slight list of the atrocities I had with my man, Dan;
Dan kept a dead bird he found outside in his desk. He wanted to get its bones and sell it to a museum.
Dan was filling up a half gallon bottle with dip spit. He plan was to one day use the collected amount and "repackage" it into empty dip cans to sell to people. I almost threw up twice remembering this. One day, he didn't tighten the lid and it spilled into his footlocker. Three times almost threw up.
In six months of knowing Dan, I saw him shower three times. He was quite stinky fellow. I was his roommate.
He thought he was a vampire. I asked him why. He said he didn't like sunlight. I explained that he never went into the sun so that's why it bothered him. He said his mom had to file his fangs when he was born. I explained to him newborns do not have teeth usually. He told me he drank blood and liked it. I asked if it was his. He said no. I asked who the f*ck gave him blood. He said he was sworn to secrecy. I said the name of another weirdo at the school because I just f*cking knew it. He was basically like "lol, that's him."
We had these giant bed cover things we called bed condoms. It was a large cloth like bag that you put over a twin mattress in our barracks bunk beds. Nobody used them because it made it harder to make your bed for inspections. Reason I bring this up? Dan never did his laundry. We had pickup service. Literally you just leave a bag of clothes out your door someone picks it up and folds it. Dan never did his laundry. Dan's laundry was too much for his laundry bag. Dan starting using his bed condom. Dan filled his bed condom. One day, I threaten to beat his ass if he didn't get his laundry done. I woke up him up in the morning prior to the pickup and went to go shower. As I was leaving, I witnessed him pouring his dirty ass laundry onto his bed. I went to shower. When I came back, Dan was cocooned in a massive pile of dirty laundry on his bed that he was sleeping naked in. He did not emerge from his sacred slumber as a beautiful butterfly. He was still Dan.
Dan would masturbate at my computer at night when he thought I was asleep to weird anime flash games. I only caught him once and changed my PW. Who knows how many times he stroked that vienna sausage till his eyes rolled back.
One time, my buddy and I went out. We came back to watch a movie and Dan had like three beers or whatever so was laying in his bed. There was a beer bottle on my desk in which my buddy asked if it was mine and I said no. He said it was almost empty so he was going to spit in it as he put a dip in. After about 15 minutes, he said he didn't want to spit in it anymore because it was warm. I said something about it was on top of my computer hard drive so maybe the computer warmed it up. Buddy left for a minute. Dan proceeds to tell me that the bottle is warm because he peed in it. He left it it on my desk. I beat up Dan.
Dan left boogers under my desk.
Dan was morbidly obese and disgusting. Somehow Dan's mom was fine. Shockingly attractive.
Dan bought a Russian trench coat and a gas mask.He would sometimes sleep in them.
Dan snored loudly.
People were not fond of Dan. One night he was sprayed with the fire extinguisher while watching stuff on his computer... and hallucinating on Robitussin. He fell down and busted his head.
Dan got written up because the sow that he drank blood from and Dan were caught repeatedly playing around the dumpster by the cadet chain of command. We do not know why they liked the dumpster.
One time I walked into the room and there was a strange gold tint to it. I had been gone all weekend and was confused. I walked into my room and was like basically what the f*ck. I looked over and I see Dan and blood donation idiot smiling at me with gold paint on their mouths. I noticed the spray paint can on the desk. I left the room.
Ever heard of pouring Listerine through slice of bread will filter the alcohol out so you can drink it? Dan heard this rumor too. Dan got sick that day after growing frustrated and eating the slice of bread.
Ever heard that if you leave oranges out, the mold can make you hallucinate? Me neither. Dan did! He grew frustrated and ate the orange. Dan was sick again.
I am forgetting things about Dan. I know it. I may add if I remember some other ones.
I was not fond of Dan.
If you enjoy this, read about Buck.
I am not fond of him too.
Edit Specialist Buck It's full blown military jargon but pretty sure they came from the same breeding.
Trapped In A Convo
GiphyAn old lady that used to live in my town who was usually just known as the "I say!" lady. She was usually seen accompanied by a large dog. She was called that because she started all conversations with adults with "I say....".
She was an absolute terror to children. If a child came within a few feet she would berate them for being near and say the dog would attack them (the dog seemed more terrified of her and I never heard of it attacking anyone). We kids all knew to just leave her alone.
With adults, she was a totally different person and would be extremely friendly. Adults knew to avoid her too because she would talk to them for hours if you let them and literally chase after you if you tried to leave.
The Most Unusual Ways People Have Almost Died
"Reddit user sintemp asked: 'In what unusual way have you almost died?'"
I've lost track of the number of times I've averted death.
One of the most unusual was death by a dog.
My dog is small.
And she loves to sneak up on people.
She loves sneaking up on me the most.
I've explained that I need her to stop.
Especially after she popped out of a closet at the top of the stairs.
I swear I heard God whisper hello in the split second from when I tripped to miraculously being able to grab the handrail.
I've tried to tell her that she's not in the will, so lay off.
All of my other near deaths are car incidents and bad dates.
Care to share?
Redditor sintemp wanted to hear about the times we've all averted odd ways of perishing, so they asked:
"In what unusual way have you almost died?"
Life is littered with near-death incidents.
It's a wonder we can enjoy living at all.
Oh wait, maybe that's the point.
Close Call
Pop Tv Please GIF by One Day At A TimeGiphy"Almost booked a ticket on MH17 with my mum and brother, before my dad shut it down and said he’s fed up with flying with Malaysian airlines. So we flew with Emirates instead, wise decision."
KenyanJesus69
"Same, my mum booked our tickets for MH17. Then they were changed to a day earlier, my whole family was sad we left early. Saw the news on MH17 when we landed in New Zealand. Scary crap."
Zoutt
Lungs
"When I was born in 1995 one of my lungs was filled with amniotic fluid. The doctors went in to drain it and inadvertently tore it instead. Then they proceeded to tear the other one in an attempt to fix the first one. My mother remembers two doctors getting into an extremely heated verbal argument over this. Doctor 1 thought he could treat me at the current hospital I was in."
"Doctor 2 knew that I would die if I wasn’t transferred to a better-equipped emergency center. They were in such disagreement that Doctor 2 literally had to sneak me out after Doctor 1’s shift was over. Obviously, it worked. I turned out not just making a full recovery, but I left ALOT of people scratching their heads because my body never developed scar tissue from all of that. My lungs work 100%."
Ohlookitsyouagain
Not Faking
"Got pushed off a dock by a bully and drowned in front of a lifeguard who was yelling at me to stop faking. I was 9 or 10 at the time and I couldn't swim. The town had a population of less than 800, only had 1 lifeguard, and I was at the beach 3-5 days a week because of family, so they knew. Brother ended up pulling me out and resuscitating me himself. Lifeguard pretended she didn't notice."
ModularArchive
Death Secret
"I was digging a hole at 12-14 years old. Because I could, kid stuff. I only remember waking up, and it was dark. I had apparently hit an underground electric line. No one knew. I was there for hours. I got up, went inside, and ate dinner. This was in the early 80s. I peed my pants. And felt weird for a day or two. Never told my parents. Thought they’d be mad."
BadLuckEddie
Chew Slowly
top hat fish GIF by GoldfishGiphy"By inhaling a Goldfish. The cracker, not the animal."
"Got pneumonia, hospitalized, the whole 9 yards."
"I don't eat goldfish anymore."
EchoLynx
I knew those little goldfish were dangerous.
Fish are killers with the right cheese.
Horrors
Over It Rose GIF by HULUGiphy"My stomach veins exploded. It was like something out of a movie the blood pouring out of my mouth. Don’t recommend it. Still traumatized."
pancakesquest1
50 Feet
"I came ~50 feet away from getting struck by lightning in April 2015… in Auschwitz. I was there with my dad and we hopped off the main tracks about 15 seconds before lightning hit them in front of us. We always joke (darkly) that we’d have been the last Jews to die in Auschwitz if we hadn’t moved."
chyko9
A beaten body...
"Fell down a mountain. (It was like a slide area that went at an angle off vertical.) My clothes and skin were torn badly, one of my pack straps was broken, and, while nothing felt broken, I felt like I had been beaten by baseball bats for a week. Took me 2 weeks to get out and to medical care. I was bleeding from every orifice and couldn't eat or drink when I entered the hospital."
"For a CAT they dumped something like 1.5 liters of, what we soon discovered, of a dye that I was severely allergic to. I next woke in the same room with a technician sobbing into my face and a doctor who looked like he just ran a marathon holding those shock paddles."
"I was informed of the allergy, told I had died, and had to swear to the, still very upset, technician that I'd always tell others I had such a severe allergy. So, I dragged my beaten body into a hospital for them to kill me in an attempt to find out what was wrong."
Gurpguru
Combat Problems
"Was assisting at a target practice in the military when a trainee misfired and got saved by my Kevlar helmet, the force of the impact pushed my head backward, and fell into the ground with so much force that I got a concussion."
"Next thing I know, the drill instructors are tearing that trainee a new one while I'm looking at a beautiful blue sky hearing shouting far away. Luckily I got hit by a 9 mm. to the helmet and not a 7.62 mm. from our standard combat rifle."
CommieWhacker14
Safety Issues
excited d&d GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy"I almost got crushed in a pin setter when I was working on the pin table (bowling lane). I was lazy and didn’t LOTO because as the manager I didn’t think anyone would turn it on but me. I was wrong and it was a mistake I only made once."
HappyHubby33
Lord, half of these are the worst of my memories.
We're not even safe in our own homes!
Do you have any stories? Let us know in the comments.
We may not always realize it, but there is inspiration all around us, often from things we've read, watched, or heard in conversation.
Sometimes people really surprise us with the deeply profound things they say to us, and that message can be life-changing.
Redditor Some_Being_Online asked:
"What is the deepest thing someone has said to you?"
Invest in the Things You Care About
"The grass is greener where you water it."
- Acceptable_Cup_3015
Worry Less
"'Worry is not preparation.'"
- Big-Routine222
"My husband told me once, 'If you’re worrying about it before it happens, you’re putting yourself through the experience twice.' While I still worry about stuff, it’s really put it in perspective."
- caitlin-c18
Celebrate Life
"I stopped giving a s**t about my birthday when I was 27. I used to request off or at least the day after off to recover from the previous night, but I just stopped caring."
"Last year, an old lady at my job found out it was my birthday and surprised me with a card with money in it, the kind of way a grandma would."
"I tried to tell her it wasn't a big deal and give the money back, but she insisted, saying, 'You should always celebrate your birthday. You don't know how many you have left.'"
- Sol-Blackguy
Life Lessons for Kids
"Prepare your child for the road, not the road for your child."
- dvmdv8
"The way I heard was: You can't child-proof the world, so you'd better world-proof your child."
- CowBoyLaw
Not a "You" Problem
"A person's actions are a reflection of their character, not yours."
- YallMindIfIJoin
"Everyone is someone else and they’re all just trying to find themselves. Let them."
- bulitproofwest
A Challenge to Step Up
"'Yes, someone should do something about that. So who are you? A nobody?'"
"I have long struggled with feelings of inferiority and whatnot, that kind of helped out."
- Burning_Monkey
Live at Your Own Pace
"'Why tiptoe through life to arrive safely at death?'"
"Although you also have the opposite, 'I would rather be late in this life, than early in the next.'"
- liberaliar
Over Before You Know It
"When you're about to become a parent, the amount of s**t you get told is unreal. Parents can't wait to tell you, 'You'll get no sleep, you'll have no life, it's all changing nappies, etc.'"
"However, I was in a meeting with a guy at work, we were making small talk before the meeting, and I told him I was about to become a dad, expecting the usual."
"Instead, he just went really deep but really chilled and just went, 'You're about to have the most amazing thing happen to you ever, but never forget, they're not yours. You're just borrowing them while they need you but you need to get them ready to not need you anymore.'"
"The older my kids get the more I appreciate it."
- Educational_Act_6602
Processing Grief
"When my baby died and I was a mess, someone told me, 'I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through. I know your heart, expectations, assumed roles, and future memories have been broken. But to your child, they had a perfect life. All they ever knew was your love.'"
"I still cry thinking about it but it really did help. I know some may take this differently, but it was what I needed at the time."
- ballerinabaskets
Love with Nowhere to Go
"Grief is the price we pay for love. And it’s a bargain."
- khmergodzeus
"I’ve heard it slightly differently as, ‘Grief is love with nowhere to go.’ I like yours better."
- LB-Dash
The Power to Let Someone Go
"If someone you like doesn't like you back, as hard as it is, you have to let them go."
"If you truly care about them as you claim you do, respect them when they say their happiness is without you. Otherwise, trying to force it is now only about you, and that's not love or friendship."
- llcucf80
The Pain of Indifference
"It's not that deep, but I heard it as a sophomore in college (remember that hormonal swamp that is your late teens?) and it just floored me: 'The opposite of love isn't hate; it's complete and utter indifference.'"
- dragonfeet1
Sometimes Things End
"Something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success, doesn't do us any good."
- yakuzamax
The Importance of the Journey
"All that you’ve gone through: the good, the bad, and the in-between have led you to exactly where you are now. You had to go through it all in order to be here, with me now."
- tvaldez19
This were powerful points that we could all learn from. It absolutely makes sense why these Redditors found these points to be so groundbreaking.
Whether or not you were broken up with or you were the one who ended things, it could take a long time to recover from a broken heart.
Time eventually heals all wounds, and we're able to move on with our lives and hopefully find a new love connection.
But then the unexpected happens, and you hear from the very person you took forever to get over, and you hear a phrase that screws with your psyche.
It can seriously mess with your mind.
Strangers online had a discussion over a hypothetical when Redditor Infinity-X78 asked:
"Your ex calls you and says they miss you, How would you react?"
The window of redemption has expired.
We Are Gathered Here Today
"Amazed, flabbergasted! She's D E A D"
– spook7886
"Don’t trust her."
– NYVines
"means she tried find better but couldnt and now is desperate"
"not worthy of your trust."
– codeboss911
Class Reunion
"My last 'ex' was from 1989 so I would be shocked and confused if the girl I went to prom with a lifetime ago called me."
– TraditionalLock7846
"Ha my Mom had to call her first husband about 20-25 years after they separated because my dad's health insurance found out that she never got divorced from him when she needed her breast implants removed for medical reasons. She thought he filed he thought she filed. He had been married for a while and so had my parents. Only found out about all of this when I woke up one day to a note that said 'went to Arkansas to marry your Dad. Be back soon.' And this was before cell phones were common, so I had to wait like 8 hours to get answers."
– FluffyOwl30
Time for some mischief.
Wrong Number
"After they talked for a while, just act slightly confused and say 'sorry, number isn’t saved. Who’s this?'”
–No_Possession_9314
"I keep every number so I don't have to have the 'New phone, who this?' conversation. If it's someone I don't want to talk to, especially if it's someone I don't want knowing if it's still my current number, I just don't answer."
– F'kHopeSignedMe
Ignore It
"I would miss the call. I don't answer calls from strangers."
– effingusername123
"Reminds me of a quote:"
"'Not friends, not enemies. Just strangers with some memories.' - anonymous"
– OP
The Song Says It All
"'Now you're just somebody that I used to know.' - Australian guy that was popular for 6 seconds, and has been sitting on a pile of residuals for a decade."
– shanster925
"I too am a fan of Got'em"
– zoidy37
"Hearts a mess by gotye slaps."
– Background_Artist_85
Some people were strongly against giving second chances.
Some Advice
"As someone who took the bait, don't."
– CpuJunky
"True. Never go back to what broke you, especially after you've healed."
"Going back to an ex is like opening the fridge and taking a sip of sour, spoiled milk and putting it back in the fridge in hopes that the next day it would be fresh."
– Infinity-X78
Avoiding The Same Drama
"A therapist once told me 'Don’t go back to a poison well just because it’s the only water you’ve known.'"
"Honestly changed my life."
– BrotherOfTheOrder
Changing For The Worse
"Oof, same. She said she learned from her mistakes and changed, but she was more hurtful and selfish the second time around lol"
– Mycatstolemyidentity
"If you ever have a moment of weakness, always remind yourself about why you broke up in the first place."
– Creative_Recover
Some people had an easy time getting things off their chest.
I Hear You, But...
"I miss you, too. You were, and are, the love of my life. And I know you loved me. But you were so very bad at it. Goodbye."
– thedreadedaw
"Damn. Having reluctantly broken up with my ex because he very, very clearly lost every last shred of interest in me, this one hit me hard."
– sassyphrass
"This is really beautiful. The realness of this response"
– gbourg12
Call From The Ex-Wife
"My wife left me and after a year and a half called back. Asked if I ever think about her. I said of course, but...we are not a good fit. Plus, I am a changed man and I'm no longer the same guy you knew before."
– series_hybrid
"Mine did the same but we got back together lol."
– gt4674b
Maintaining solid relationships take work.
But depending on how bad they are, it shouldn't cause constant stress and anxiety.
Breakups, in this case, are necessary, and it's not about giving up.
It's about moving on and saving your sanity.
So when an ex calls from out of the blue, it may come from a place of being lonely or pining for the good memories of a lost relationship.
Go with your gut, and be aware that with a few exceptions, people don't really change.
Dating an ex actually has a term: backsliding.
But, if you end up rekindling a relationship that previously ended badly and it is a huge improvement, then you won the love lottery.
It's never attractive to gloat.
Even if someone is incredibly skilled at something, or accomplished something incredibly impressive, it's better for others to commend their accomplishment, rather than doing so themselves.
The only thing that can make gloating and arrogance even less attractive is if they're bragging about something that isn't even that impressive to begin with.
Even so, some people simply can't help but boast and congratulate themselves, even whether or not the thing that is making their head grow with impressive speed isn't remotely worth congratulating.
"What is the stupidest thing people brag about?"
Literally Wrong On So Many Levels...
"Kid in my class bragged about how he stole an air freshener from the school bathroom."
"He was holding an unwrapped, wet urinal cake in his hand." -Tardigrade90
There Is Such A Thing As Work/Life Balance
"Anything to do with hustle culture."
"Wow, you got sh*tty sleep under your desk??"
"I was comfortable in my bed, haha, a strange flex." - joshharvey02
"Hours of work."
"We shouldn't be glorifying getting overworked." -Reddit
Working Good Morning GIF by Jimmy ArcaGiphyWhat The Actual...
"My neighbor was bragging about how long her three-year-old son’s penis was."
"She told my wife and I, 'Everyone always says, omg his penis is so long!'"
"I’m just like, why the f*ck have so many people seen it?"- NaiveMelany
A Truly Smart Person Knows Not To Brag...
"Intelligence."
"The dumber they are, the more they brag."- EdgyLearner138
"Money Money Money, Must Be Funny..."
"Money."
"From what I've read, family gets greedy and entitled."
"It's best to keep your mouth shut about money to every family member."- Vegetable-Fix-4702
"Dad's money."- BabuBhaiyaForever
Money Chicken GIF by happydogGiphyThe Less Said, The Better
"How little sleep they got."
"How late they stayed at work."
"How much they drank." - eviehalboro
Going Viral Isn't Always A Good Thing...
"Internet fame." - SwaggerEilte
Monogamy Is Nothing To Be Ashamed Of
"Sometime over the last decade or so, people started using the term "body count" for their cumulative number of lifetime sex partners."
"Unless you're doing it with all of them concurrently, I am not impressed." -Reddit
A Well Rested Soul Is A Happy One...
"The only time I care if you lack sleep is if you’re heading to Brooklyn." - _Goose_
Be Proud Of Who You Are, But...
"Guys who brag about being 'built different'."
"Sure dude."
"You have a beard, a 'full sleeve' tattoo, and a pickup truck."
"You’re so different." - someguy192838
A "Real Man" Never Needs To Prove Himself...
"Being an 'alpha'."
"Sorry homeboys, if you feel the need to announce it, you ain't it... and you know that." - Prudii_Skirata
Some people simply need to be the center of attention.
Even if the attention gained isn't exactly wanted.
As proud as one might be of their accomplishments though, it's always a good idea to wait for others to congratulate you, before congratulating yourself.