We try not to judge, but every once in awhile, somebody comes along that you just can't get a grasp of. That person likely stirred up/disturbed your day in a way that you didn't expect. But one thing is for sure--you will never forget them.
Here were some of those stories.
Years ago when I worked at a shipping and copying place (similar to Kinko's) a guy would come in every so often with stacks of newspapers. He would cut up parts of different articles and tape the sections together to form his own stories, then run what he made through the copier to make it look like it was one actual article. He would then show them to me and tell me they were about him.
Usually the finished article was a combination of world news about terrorism and the sports section. The overall story was that he is a CIA agent fighting terrorism and his cover was being the quarterback for the Chicago Bears.
I used to work the drive through at a Del Taco that was open 24 hours a day. I had several odd experiences with a regular who came in about once a week towards the end of my employment there.
Experience 1: Man comes to window and asks if our bean and cheese burrito is organic. I say "probably not but I'm not sure." He decides that this means they absolutely must be 100% organic and orders 3 of them.
Experience 2: Same man comes to window shirtless. He explains that he is only shirtless because he was sweating profusely moments earlier (at 2am) and proceeds to hold a soaking wet shirt up to the window for me to touch as proof.
Experience 3. Same man comes to window, does not order anything, but tells me he is very happy that we are open 24 hours a day because "he is only awake at night."
Experience 4. Same man comes to window to tell me about a yoga studio he has been frequenting because they are open until 3am. He suggests I check it out. He does not order his usual "organic" bean and cheese burrito but rather our fish tacos because "he has decided to only eat fish."
Very nice man. Very strange man.
I went to a wilderness survival school and there was this guy there named Charlie who never wore a shirt, rode this really beat-up motorcycle everywhere, and mined Bitcoin for a living. He didn't bring a tent so he slept on a tarp on the ground for the whole week and ate canned beans even though we provided meals. He cried a lot and hugged everyone at the end of the week.
Charlie was pretty cool tbh.
When I lived in Hawaii I used to meet a lot of weirdos. It's hard to pick a winner out of all of them but I'll go with the crazy Welsh guy for this entry.
I was sitting at a bus stop reading when he approached me.
"LIKE TO READ, EH?"
The caps lock is appropriate here because he always spoke like he's just barely refraining from going completely ballistic.
"Uh yeah," I said.
"I HAVE A BOOK OF POEMS I'VE WRITTEN. WOULD YOU LIKE TO READ THEM?"
"I guess so," I said.
He then thrust a manila folder at me, then added "THEY'RE WRITTEN BACKWARDS BECAUSE THEY'RE ABOUT WHO THE JEWS STOLE TIME."
"Uh thanks," I said.
"I HOPE YOU LIKE THEM," he said, then walked away.
According to the writing on the packet he was the co-president of the Hawaiian-Welsh Astral Society, which met weekly at a nearby park. The poems began with photocopies of a bunch of news articles he had annotated with comments I couldn't make any sense of before getting into the poetry itself, which made no reference to Jews anywhere that I could see but were dated in reverse chronology, which I guess is what he meant by them being written backwards. They were not very good poems.
Georgie Porgie Scared MeGiphy
The first day I met him, he was rubbing his tummy. Under the shirt. It was weird, but not scary. I didn't think he was trying to be weird, just that he wanted to rub his tummy and this was the time to do it, mere coincidence that we were speaking.
One time he was shouting in his office, "SHUT UP SLAVE, SHUT UP SLAVE" over and over. We couldn't tell what he was saying at first, but he left quickly towards the elevators and still shouting in the lobby.
He would try to touch your elbow with his instead of a high five or anything.
He'd have random outbursts, similar to the "shut up slave", but more contained. Like, he'd know his reaction was uncalled for, however he wasn't able to control what he was saying.
As I got to know him more, I could tell that he was working on it and trying to get himself under control, however I don't know if he's ever been diagnosed with anything.
I called him John the liar...he was a coworker of mine in college at a sporting goods store. He lied about everything not just embellishing stories or adding a few extra details... just straight up lies. He would lie about what he ate for lunch even though I saw him eat it.
He told our manager that his dad was a 6'5 marine who helped take down Osama Bin Laden and then an hour later he told me his dad was a quadriplegic and had been for 30 years. Then he told me he got an override from the administration to take 24 credits one semester as a biology major...then I found out he was still in high school.
It was absolutely psychotic, I finally had to confront him about it when he started telling customers the completely wrong specs on all the guns we carried. He just lied some more and said that I was wrong or that I misunderstood him.
Eventually I had to ask my supervisor to schedule me on a different shift because I couldn't take it anymore.
Assault By Bookshelf
I managed a bookstore for a long time and you run into your share of weirdos, there. I could tell a million stories. One of the weirdest was this lady who came in a few times who would get dozens of books, browse through them, ask us to hold them, and then never ask to see them again or buy them, so we began just reshelving stuff immediately.
One day she came in and took over this one sitting area. She had probably close to a hundred books piled on the coffee table and the floor, and the other customers sitting there were clearly starting to get annoyed. I went over with a library cart and offered to take some of the books to the front of the store to hold onto them while she "shopped". She said no. I said at the very least I needed to put the books on the cart because it was hazardous to have piles of books in the aisle, but when I knelt to pick them up, she grabbed my hands and slammed them on the table, pinning my wrists down, and legit snarled at me. I managed to stay calm and told her to get her hands off of me, and told one of my co-managers who was nearby to call the police.
When the police came, they asked me if I wanted to press charges for assault, but I said no: I just wanted her trespassed from the property. He wrote out a trespass order and she pulled a folder out where she had a stack of trespass orders from various local businesses and filed it alphabetically - I guess she got banned from so many places, she found it hard to keep track.
The police ended up having to stay for a while because she kept circling her car through the parking lot and screaming obscenities at me. I don't remember everything she said, but I do know at one point she said "F*CK YOU. YOU'RE NOT THE REAL PRINCESS DIANA. I KNEW THE REAL PRINCESS DIANA AND YOU AREN'T HER, MOTHERF*CKER!" It took us over an hour to reshelve all her goddamn books.
I looked up her name online later when I got home. Turned out she was a prominent real estate agent the next city over. I cannot imagine showing up to an open house held by that lunatic.
The Lunch List
The cemetery groundskeeper in our hometown.
He did a very good job (the grounds were immaculate and perfectly landscaped), but he'd hover over people when they'd visited a grave - as if he didn't want anyone in his cemetery.
People wondered why he'd have his lunch inside the mausoleum on the grounds on sunny days instead of being outdoors. He'd say, "I prefer being with the dead than with the living."
I Hate You, Dan
I'll call him Dan. Dan was my roommate in a military school. Military school is already full of weirdos but Dan... Dan owns it. Here's a slight list of the atrocities I had with my man, Dan;
Dan kept a dead bird he found outside in his desk. He wanted to get its bones and sell it to a museum.
Dan was filling up a half gallon bottle with dip spit. He plan was to one day use the collected amount and "repackage" it into empty dip cans to sell to people. I almost threw up twice remembering this. One day, he didn't tighten the lid and it spilled into his footlocker. Three times almost threw up.
In six months of knowing Dan, I saw him shower three times. He was quite stinky fellow. I was his roommate.
He thought he was a vampire. I asked him why. He said he didn't like sunlight. I explained that he never went into the sun so that's why it bothered him. He said his mom had to file his fangs when he was born. I explained to him newborns do not have teeth usually. He told me he drank blood and liked it. I asked if it was his. He said no. I asked who the f*ck gave him blood. He said he was sworn to secrecy. I said the name of another weirdo at the school because I just f*cking knew it. He was basically like "lol, that's him."
We had these giant bed cover things we called bed condoms. It was a large cloth like bag that you put over a twin mattress in our barracks bunk beds. Nobody used them because it made it harder to make your bed for inspections. Reason I bring this up? Dan never did his laundry. We had pickup service. Literally you just leave a bag of clothes out your door someone picks it up and folds it. Dan never did his laundry. Dan's laundry was too much for his laundry bag. Dan starting using his bed condom. Dan filled his bed condom. One day, I threaten to beat his ass if he didn't get his laundry done. I woke up him up in the morning prior to the pickup and went to go shower. As I was leaving, I witnessed him pouring his dirty ass laundry onto his bed. I went to shower. When I came back, Dan was cocooned in a massive pile of dirty laundry on his bed that he was sleeping naked in. He did not emerge from his sacred slumber as a beautiful butterfly. He was still Dan.
Dan would masturbate at my computer at night when he thought I was asleep to weird anime flash games. I only caught him once and changed my PW. Who knows how many times he stroked that vienna sausage till his eyes rolled back.
One time, my buddy and I went out. We came back to watch a movie and Dan had like three beers or whatever so was laying in his bed. There was a beer bottle on my desk in which my buddy asked if it was mine and I said no. He said it was almost empty so he was going to spit in it as he put a dip in. After about 15 minutes, he said he didn't want to spit in it anymore because it was warm. I said something about it was on top of my computer hard drive so maybe the computer warmed it up. Buddy left for a minute. Dan proceeds to tell me that the bottle is warm because he peed in it. He left it it on my desk. I beat up Dan.
Dan left boogers under my desk.
Dan was morbidly obese and disgusting. Somehow Dan's mom was fine. Shockingly attractive.
Dan bought a Russian trench coat and a gas mask.He would sometimes sleep in them.
Dan snored loudly.
People were not fond of Dan. One night he was sprayed with the fire extinguisher while watching stuff on his computer... and hallucinating on Robitussin. He fell down and busted his head.
Dan got written up because the sow that he drank blood from and Dan were caught repeatedly playing around the dumpster by the cadet chain of command. We do not know why they liked the dumpster.
One time I walked into the room and there was a strange gold tint to it. I had been gone all weekend and was confused. I walked into my room and was like basically what the f*ck. I looked over and I see Dan and blood donation idiot smiling at me with gold paint on their mouths. I noticed the spray paint can on the desk. I left the room.
Ever heard of pouring Listerine through slice of bread will filter the alcohol out so you can drink it? Dan heard this rumor too. Dan got sick that day after growing frustrated and eating the slice of bread.
Ever heard that if you leave oranges out, the mold can make you hallucinate? Me neither. Dan did! He grew frustrated and ate the orange. Dan was sick again.
I am forgetting things about Dan. I know it. I may add if I remember some other ones.
I was not fond of Dan.
If you enjoy this, read about Buck.
I am not fond of him too.
Edit Specialist Buck It's full blown military jargon but pretty sure they came from the same breeding.
Trapped In A ConvoGiphy
An old lady that used to live in my town who was usually just known as the "I say!" lady. She was usually seen accompanied by a large dog. She was called that because she started all conversations with adults with "I say....".
She was an absolute terror to children. If a child came within a few feet she would berate them for being near and say the dog would attack them (the dog seemed more terrified of her and I never heard of it attacking anyone). We kids all knew to just leave her alone.
With adults, she was a totally different person and would be extremely friendly. Adults knew to avoid her too because she would talk to them for hours if you let them and literally chase after you if you tried to leave.
There are few conspiracy theories that annoy me lately as much as the QAnon conspiracy theory. Other than it posing a grave threat to our democracy, I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would take any of it as gospel. It's also remarkably easy to debunk––I'm still waiting for "the Storm" amid the ever-changing goalposts, by the way.
Turns out there are quite a few other conspiracies out there annoy the hell out of people, as we discovered once Redditor Sonic-the-edge-dog asked the online community,
"What's a conspiracy theory that annoys you due to how easily disprovable it is?"
"Some dude I know..."
"Some dude I know swears nuclear weapons and related tech is all a lie. The Manhattan Project was just for show. We never nuked Hiroshima or Nagasaki (or any other test site afterward). Those cities were conventionally bombed and we made up the story afterward. I can't even begin to address the number of people required to keep that secret is...unbelievable. not to mention that okay the weapons are fake but then how are we generating power from all of those power plants? That's all fake too?"
"My friend really, truly believes..."
"My friend really, truly believes that space is not real, that we are just living under a giant screen and Earth is an enclosed experiment being run by someone."
Sounds like The Truman Show, if you ask me. Did you know that there's a type of delusion named after the film? The more you know.
"It has been known to be a sphere..."
"Flat earth. It has been known to be a sphere for thousands of years. Newton calculated that it is wider at the equator without leaving his house.
Why would the Earth be flat if other celestial bodies are not? What do they think NASA or whoever has to gain from lying to us?"
Remember: The Flat Earth movement has followers all around the globe.
"Being annoyed by that..."
"The Holocaust being fake. Being annoyed by that is putting it lightly."
That 5G caused the coronavirus.
I thought 5G was supposed to turn everyone gay? Are we past that now?
"Everybody who barely looks into this..."
"Vaccines cause autism.
Andrew Wakefield published fraudulent data. His medical license has been revoked. Everybody who barely looks into this can find that he's a liar who told a lie that ruined his professional life."
Andrew Wakefield trolled us all and to think that there are people out there still quoting his "work" is a big reason why there are so many out there who are dying from completely preventable diseases.
"Why would Bill Gates..."
"That vaccines are for putting nanotech chips into people for easier tracking...
Why would Bill Gates need to mass-produce some of the most advanced tech in the world to track you when he can already do that through your phone?"
"Someone making this argument..."
""Jet fuel can't melt steel beams." Someone making this argument literally supplied me with the article on eutectic combinations that explained how it worked, but the person supplying the article never read past the first paragraph and thought it meant the opposite of what it was saying."
People never seem to read past the headline––it's so aggravating.
"You know you could have just simplified..."
"That Jewish space lasers are responsible for California wildfires.
You know you could have just simplified the conspiracy to "Jews lit American forests on fire."
Oh, yeah, and this person is in the Congress of the United States."
Yeah... she's really something, isn't she?
"We brought back..."
"What gets me are people who say THE moon landing was faked. We went back FIVE MORE TIMES. It wasn't just the one time. We brought back a bunch of s*** and left a bunch of s*** up there. If it was fake do you think all of the dudes that went up there and that the thousands of people who worked on the project would have been able to keep silent about it?!"
These conspiracy theories must be profitable. But remember when they were seemingly harmless? Didn't people believe Avril Lavigne had a clone or something at some point? Those were the days.
Have some conspiracy theories that annoy you? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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The gift of hearing is an awesome thing. So many of us have the luxury to take it for granted.
How many 'first' sounds do we hear regularly that barely register for memory?
For those of us who are given sound after never having it or losing it and regaining it, have an appreciation most of us will never understand.
They embrace sound with such thankfulness and clarity. They can also tell you when hearing disappoints.
After all they have a build up of imagination in mind.
Redditor u/XxXNoobMaster69XxXx was hoping the formerly hearing impaired would sound off a bit by asking:
Ex-deaf people of reddit, what was the most underwhelming sound, respective to your expectations?
I'm used to being disappointed about a lot in life. I've given up on looking forward to much. This way anticipation doesn't trip me up. But I've never been let down by sound. Music can be underwhelming sure, but that's usually due to the lack of creativity. So this should be fascinating.
Too Loud!All That Nicksplat GIF by NickRewindGiphy
"I was home alone after having my cochlear implant turned on for the first time and I nearly peed my pants when the refrigerator started making ice. Also discovered that my cat purrs very loudly."
"Some dude in an old thread surprised clouds colliding didn't make noise."
"DUDE THAT WOULD BE SO DOPE just like HUUUUGE distant, near peaceful thuds of clouds hitting each other, like a low rumbling in the ground you can feel with the same bassy noise of a far off explosion. God, I've been hearing everything all my life and now I'm sad clouds don't make noise. It would help people realize how large and heavy clouds are, too."
Sounds along the way...
"I've worn HA all my life though until around 2010 they had always been analog so not very good at picking up little sounds. I was being fitted for my first pair of digital HA and kept hearing this odd noise even asking my audiologist what's that noise? Turned out it was me moving my feet on the carpet. I'd never heard that shifting around sound before."
"Got newer and even better ones a couple of weeks ago and holy cow I now hear all sorts of noises I've never heard. Technology can be a wonderful thing."
"Also, remembered another sound - the bubbles popping in a soda/coke. Never had heard those little fizz/pops before."
"When my uncle got cochlear implants, he spent the whole next day wondering what this constant, obnoxious, 'ugly' noise was. After hours of searching, found out it was the clock ticking. He questioned why the hell it needs to make noise. I suppose without having it tuned out, it would be pretty annoying."
"On a happier note, when he first got them in, he cried with happiness when he realized his brother sounded different than the nurse."
Several ItemsListen GIF by The Maury ShowGiphy
"My friend was deaf and he said the most underwhelming things were opening something carbonated, and a dog bark and the most surprising things was lights not making noise and for some reason trees not making noise?"
Sirens can try anybody's last nerve. I know they are necessary but Lord can they be brutal. I think I would be more surprised if sounds didn't match. I'm genuinely surprised when people's voices are higher or lower than what I thought they'd be. Let's hear some more.
The Sizzleshaking still life GIF by jjjjjohnGiphy
"My sister refused to get hearing aids for the longest time. She finally got some and she said the first thing she noticed was like a weird popping sizzling sound. It was the carbonation in her soda."
"When I got my hearing aids, I remember sitting in my room and think it was pouring down outside. Went to have a look, dry af. Turns out it was the sound of my clothes moving against each other. So overwhelming. Now, the silence is more anxiety inducing, because I know that there's so many things around me that are happening and I don't know about them."
'oh, I wanted you to sound better'
"I have a friend who was born deaf and had cochlear implants put in when he was a baby. I don't fully understand it all, but I do know he couldn't hear pitch, even with the implants. To him girl and boy voices all sounded roughly the same and he couldn't listen to music because it all sounded the same."
"A few years back he got his implants upgraded or replaced, like I said I don't really understand it. Anyway, he was suddenly able to hear pitch. He said the single scariest thing was emergency vehicle sirens."
"He'd never heard the proper noise before, so assumed it was just a kind of monotonous whine they made. He was absolutely terrified when an ambulance turned on its siren next to us. Suddenly he could hear the wailing all these emergency vehicles made. He said he found the wails to be very eerie at night."
"Also, when he first heard my proper voice he said 'oh, I wanted you to sound better'. Ouch."
Where to Begin?
"I got a BAHA (bone adhered hearing aid) implant this February. I'm 29F, moderately hearing-impaired for the past 15 years."
"I'm still surprised by:
- clothing rustling
- my own footsteps
- my stomach making quiet gurgling sounds
- the sound when I scratch an itch
- squirrels running across the roof 😊
- picking out individual instruments in a song"
"I hate that I now hear:
- chewing and eating sounds
- farts (I used to only hear the loud ones!)
- peeing is SO LOUD
- background TV noises in businesses — used to just be white noise for me, now that I can parse speech it's super distracting
- random neighborhood sounds, e.g. children yelling, dogs barking, weed whackers, etc.
...and the sound quality of music is kinda meh via my implant. Still 50000x worth it."
At 31...halloween monster GIFGiphy
"I got hearing aids at 31. The sound of the refrigerator surprised me. I'm an engineer by trade and was trying to figure out why it made such a terrible noise thinking it must be broken."
In the end, it's a great thing that everyone on this list can finally hear. Not that there is anything wrong with people who can't. I'm going to try and be more cognizant and grateful.
Schools are like their own little universes. A whole mini-society, complete with its own specific rules and customs, some of which make absolutely no sense whatsoever. You can't help but wonder what the faculty was thinking in some of these cases, or why no one stopped to think about why they were so weird.
While schools are a place of learning, they can also be places of absolute stupidity.
What's the dumbest rule your school ever enforced?
It really makes you stop and think, what event led to these weird rules being put into place?
"My school had 3 staircases along a very long corridor. We were banned from using the middle staircase because it got overcrowded. The ban was lifted once they realised it only made the other two staircases just as crowded."
"This road has too much traffic. We should close it."
How did they get to be principal?late school GIFGiphy
"The new Principal made a "morning round-up" rule where anyone arriving to class after the last bell had to go to the cafeteria and listen to a lecture about not being late for class. This took about an extra 15 minutes, making the students even more late to class than they would have otherwise been. Needless to say, everyone hated it, even the teachers. That principal didn't last long..."
"Lmao this sounds similar to a rule at my high school. If you weren't in your 1st period class before O Canada played, you had to head to the cafeteria, miss class (yup cuz THAT's smart) and "sit in silence". The first day it went into practice, I walked in just as the principal was telling everyone over the PA to stand up for the national anthem, so technically O Canada hadn't started yet. Regardless, my teacher said I was late and I had to head to the cafeteria AFTER the national anthem had finished playing (Again, I'm already in the class so what was the f*cking point?)."
"The cafe was FULL with other stragglers and the teachers on duty couldn't have given less of a sh!t. I sat with some friends who were also late and spent the entire time playing cards. The next day the rule was cancelled. Go figure."
No drinking water allowed.
"I was sent to the principal in elementary school for getting a drink of water out of line (as in we walked down the hall in a formation and we had designated water drinking stops). To this day I still remember the principal asking angrily well what if every one started getting water without permission? And I still don't have an answer."
Doesn’t the dean have better things to do?
"Toilet paper rationing. This was in 1997/98, btw. Apparently the high school girls room was going through too much toilet paper so the dean, a woman, stood outside the door and distributed a few squares of 1-ply institutional toilet paper to us as we went in. If she noticed toilet paper on the floor, our ration got cut down. If we asked for more for...bigger jobs...we were told to save it for home."
"There were several episodes of girls stuck in stalls until friends could beg for more TP because of period messes or unexpected bowel incidents. The dean wouldn't even hand it over--she would go in the bathroom and pass it a few squares at a time over the door. If you didn't catch it as it fell and it landed on the floor, well, that's your fault and you're not getting more. If you used more than she thought necessary, tough luck, go to class with blood/sh!t on your body."
"It took about a week of extremely angry parents coming to the school and calling both the school and the school board, but we finally got our toilet paper back, unlimited."
"How did we celebrate?"
"By TPing her car, of course."
It’s incredible how far some schools go to enforce the zero tolerance rule. It’s like they don’t fully understand what it means to be bullied.
A bit of the ol’ ultraviolence.stop it science fiction GIF by FilmStruckGiphy
"After 9/11, my school instituted a zero-tolerance policy on bullying and violence. What 9/11 had to do with bullying, I don't know. Anyways, Halloween 2001, I dressed up as the guy from Clockwork Orange. He carries a cane around."
"The principal pulled me aside, told me walking around with a cane could be a weapon, therefore just walking with it is an act of violence, and suspended me for a couple of days, telling me that after 9/11, "we don't mess around with that kind of stuff"."
Neither of these rules make and sense.
"That if you say/do anything back to your bully it becomes a mutual conflict and isn't bullying, so if they start calling you slurs and making you feel bad every day and you call them stupid once or twice the school probably won't help."
"Also dress code required school branded hoodies... they were 50 dollars. If you wore a non school hoodie you got in school suspension."
What kind of gang would that be?
"No beads. Apparently, they thought beaded jewelry was gang-related?"
"Nothing says hardened criminal like matching bead bracelets that say "BFFs <3" ."
And of course, we can’t forget the truly bizarre rules that were put into place by clueless adults.
This is just sad.Bored Fun GIFGiphy
"My school was in a poor area of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Not a lot of schools here have money for anything. Because of a huge donation of books at the time I was in school, my school got an absurd number of books, including expensive ones."
"There were a few dumb rules, but the dumbest of them all?"
"We basically couldn't touch the books in the library without permission. It might sound reasonable at first, but check this out."
"The library was huge, and there were lots of books, including contemporary classics, non-fiction like The Last Problem, English Literature like Infinite Jest, How to kill a Mockingbird and whatnot. Dude, there was so much there, that place was probably the most valuable place in the entire school."
"I mean, it was awesome, there were enough books there for each student to lend about 100 every day."
"Here's the problem, the library went all but untouched for the entirety of my time there. Why? The amount of work it took to read one of those books was ridiculous and pretty much made sure not a single student bothered to try."
"First, you couldn't take any of the books home, period. Forget the fact that they had your address and all your parents info, so in the case that someone took it and didn't return it, they could just get it back - it had happened before at least once before the rule was made."
"Second, you couldn't leave the library with them, no matter what."
"Third, if you wanted to read the book, you'd have to do it in the library at the lunch break, which was about 45 minutes, so unless you weren't hungry ever, you had only a few minutes to go to the library. It was only open for a few hours around the break and not at all at any other time, so unless you stayed there for hours until the break for the afternoon classes, you just wouldn't have another chance. (Those hours around the break could be used for you to be tutored by a teacher, which almost never happened)"
"Fourth, once you went through all of that, you could only read the book under the observation of the people that volunteered to work in the library for credit, which was never more than two or three people, sometimes no one. Which means that if you got there and there were already three people there, forget it. Unless you were willing to read it standing up close to where the book was kept and even then they'd check on you every minute or so."
"Fifth, you couldn't get inside the library with a backpack, with food, in groups, speaking, without the appropriate uniform - you couldn't get in with the gym one, for instance -, with other books, earrings, necklaces or anything that could make noise while you were walking. Some were reasonable, but the issue was that one simple mistake and you would get banned."
"Sixth, any banishment from it was permanent. I complained about it once in the second year and was never allowed inside ever again. I even tried to get some teachers to help me, but it didn't work."
"Seventh, and probably the dumbest, only the students that had a certain amount of high grades could get any book at all. If you got something like 4/10 on your last biology exam, you couldn't even get inside the library. The standard was so insane, only six other students and I in my classroom had enough good grades to get books."
"In all my time there, the library was basically deserted for the majority of it. I tried to go there many times, but it was too much work. Out of all the books I only managed to read two Brazilian ones "A guerra do lanche" (The lunch war) and "Blecaute" (Blackout) which I remembered to this day in details. There were times where I legit thought about straight up ditching class to read some of them."
"I tried to get more, like The Last Problem, Kafka's Metamorphosis, Ulysses - which I know I wouldn't have been able to do it, but I was just curious -, A brief history of time, Withering Heights, etc."
"But the amount of work it took was so much that it was just almost impossible to be able to read more than one or two books a year, and even that took dedication, because I basically had to sacrifice part of my lunch time."
"The rumor was that the principals* - we had more than one - basically saw us as "savages" who would destroy the books if we were allowed to touch them and even though they had no reason to believe so - the library worked well without those restrictions a year before I had gotten there, with only minimal incidents and even those didn't result in the books getting destroyed."
The principal did WHAT?
"We were not allowed to have facial hair at all."
"Like to the point where the principal would walk around during lunch with razors and shaving cream and do "Stubble checks"."
"Absolutely ridiculous and he would send tons of us to the bathrooms to shave during lunch, no matter how small the stubble was."
"It wasn't really the rule that was dumb but the reason for it. In my last year of high school, the school issued a rule that all students had to wear student IDs. If you didn't, you had to immediately go and pay for another ID. While you can see how many students may have saw this a way to skip class, the reason for this was the school shootings that happened the previous year."
"The reasoning was that it would be easier to spot who is a student and who is not a student to then see who has malicious intent.....except that most shooters were students....so..."
It's safe to say that every single one of these rules were entirely unnecessary. Like, worse than the "two finger" rule when it came to wearing tank tops (to prevent girls from, god forbid, wearing spaghetti straps). These rules are completely absurd, and it makes you wonder how the adults in charge got their jobs in the first place.
To all the kids stuck in schools like this- stick it out, because I promise that the real world is nothing like this.
People lie. The tagline of the popular TV series House, MD, was "everybody lies." That includes my parents and yours, folks.
Sometimes parents lie to their children to protect them. Sometimes they lie because it's easier than telling the truth. But unfortunately, not all parents are good people. Some lie to manipulate their children, or hold control over them. And that story is way more common than any of us would like to think.
"What is the most ridiculous/f**ked up lie your parents told you?"
People had plenty of stories to go around.
I Hate You, You Hate Me
"My dad got fed up of watching Barney the dinosaur when I was a kid, and one day when I asked to watch it, he said:"
"'Because Barney died'"
"I never did watch Barney again."-b14nn
"Not too f**ked up, but ridiculous. When I was little, my mom told me if I didn't finish my dinner my stomach would get very hungry and come up and eat my brain."
"A few nights later I woke her up at midnight crying because my stomach growled and I needed a second dinner or it would eat my brain."-DragonStangFlyer122
The Waltzing (Away) Matilda
"My Dad told I had an older sister named Matilda, but she kept screaming in the car so he dropped her off at the side of the road and left her there."
"It didn't stop me screaming in the car until one day he actually stopped the car and told me to get out. He only drove 10m away but I never screamed in the car again."-AnoniemGebruiker
Some are to control our behavior as kids, but some persist into our adult lives.
A Little Respite
"Around the time Toy Story first came out, my dad drove an Infiniti and he told us that he could press a button and go 'to infinity and beyond' to jump over other cars."
"He'd have us close our eyes and press the button and he'd speed up and pass the car in front of us while our eyes were closed. as a kid i was d u m b f o u n d e d and thought he was magic."
"It's actually a nice memory compared to the other ones on here lol."-nopenonotatall
Rooster Farts Needed
"We used to have a farm when I was a kid. My uncle gave me few hens he had and I told my dad that I want them to have baby chicks and sell them."
"He told me we need to buy you a rooster for your hens. I said why? They lay eggs and they don't need to have a male around. He told me the eggs won't be fertile and will never hatch."
-"'But what can a rooster do to make it hatch?'"
-"'He picks the back of their necks.'"
-"'Well I can do that with a needle every day!'"
-"'And then he farts in their butts..'"
"The worst part I remember is me running to my mom after we went home to tell her about my recent discovery……."-Rio1231233
Manipulation For One
"Gaslighting. About obviously wrong or easily disputable things."
"Like, I hated the babysitter I had from age 3 to 4. She was a b*tch who favored boys and didn't much like me either."
"I was an easygoing kid, but I hated her. My mother insisted all the way through college that I loved this woman. We'd go back to visit my hometown, and she'd force me to skip seeing my friends to visit this lady."
"At 16, these visits would go something like 'Hi.' 'Oh, it's you.' And then she'd ignore me and talk to my mother while I stared at a wall and nodded politely until we could leave."
"My mother doubled down on this every time I disagreed until one visit back to the church we used to attend (social center of small towns), this lady saw my mother coming and began the conversation with 'wasn't it funny how much your daughter and I always hated each other? I only watch little boys these days. Can't stand girls.'"
"My mom briefly attempted to convince both of us that we shared fond memories, but... By that point we were approaching 20 years of mutual dislike. It was a bit absurd."-TragedyPornFamilyVid
People Should Not Be Allowed To Be Parents
"My mom would drive us to random huge nondescript buildings, screaming the whole time claiming that it was the orphanage & that she was getting rid of us."
"Sometimes she would get out & physically pull our arms trying to rip us out of the car."
"If she was near the police station she would try it there too, telling us we were horrible kids & that the cops would understand and take us away from her."
"Which was super bold to me! it's a shame she never got caught in the act abusing her kids."-miserable-now
Lying can be a form of abuse.
Whale Toe Soup
"When I was younger i learned that mushrooms were a fungus and refused to eat them."
"My dad made me some soup with mushrooms in it and i threw a fit about eating it, so he inspected the bowl and told me they were whale toes."
"Apparently i was old enough to know that mushrooms were a fungus but not old enough to know that whales didnt have feet. >_<"-SelfBoundBeauty
Reversing The Lie
"It's not that f**ked up but it's kind of a revenge story. When I was very young my parents told me I couldn't get carbonated soft drinks cause they said it was bad for me and I could die. Mind you I was an hyperactive kid at the time."
"At one point I got a genius idea, I lived with my mother and my father would pick me up every weekends."
"My plan was Friday evening when my father would pick me up I would tell him 'mom gave me coca-cola cause she said it's okay you're going to your father's anyway.'"
"And at this moment my father accepted the fake challenge I have given him. The next Sunday evening my father gave me like a 1L of 7up just before dropping me off."
"So I was pretty excited, my mother asked me like what's up with you ? And I told her pretty much the same thing 'dad gave me 7up cause he said it's okay you're going to your mother afterward anyway' and then my mom took on the challenge too."
"They never spoke about it out loud it was kind of a war and I was the instruments. What they didn't know was that I was the evil mind behind it all. So all in all, I got my revenge, I got carbonated soft drinks and they never learned the truth until I told them years later."-lrdrchin
An Unforgivable Act
"I came home and my dog was missing. I searched for her for weeks. I was 10 so I couldn't really go anywhere to see if she'd been turned in. I called vets offices and stuff though."
"In my 20's I found out my mom took her to the humane society and dropped her off. I hope she found a new family that loved her the way she deserved to be loved. I hope that she didn't wait for us to come get her every day, crying for me."
"My mom has a dog now that she adores and the thought has crossed my mind to take her and drop her off at the local humane society and let my mom know how it f**king feels but I could never do that to another person."-SendRamenNoodz
Parents can be horrible people, too. And some of the parents in these stories no doubt deserve the "worst parent" award, swiftly and quickly rewarded to them upside the head.
But some of these lies are innocuous. Not all lies are bad things, and when they end up being kind of cute ones for your kids to make them happier, those are the best kind. But keep in mind that not being honest comes with a price. You may cause your child to resent you forever.