Even our loved ones keep secrets. And sometimes those secrets are even bigger than we could have ever imagined. And it's hard to palate it sometimes when they're no longer around to handle the fallout.
u/rGuile asked Reddit:
What is the most shocking thing that you learned about someone after their death?
Here were some answers.
Even More Of A Saint
GiphyWhen my grandma died, a lot of homeless people showed up to her funeral. Turns out she was or had fed/helped them. They were crying so much, it was really sweet.
Only The Good Die Young
GiphyMy great aunt died about a year ago. She was in her mid 70s. We were unpacking all her things and we found her diaries, some from years ago and some just before her death. In her diaries she had mentioned that she despised her sister (to be honest, none of us liked her), and didn't like a lot of my cousins.
Most shocking, she kept on talking about a man who she called, 'monster'. This man had been harassing her for years. She never mentioned it nor indicated that anything was wrong. We suspect that it was her boss.
I loved her dearly, she was so sweet.
Someone For Everyone
GiphyI had an aunt who was severely disabled most of her life and confined to a wheelchair. I was surprised to find out after she died she had a lover most of her life with similar disabilities who passed away shortly before her. I'm glad she had someone in her life like that.
Life Gone
GiphyAfter my Grandpa died, I found out that he had stolen 176,000 dollars from a trust fund meant for my brother and I and that he had taken it out mainly in 3 lump sums for gambling.
He Noticed
GiphyThat my friend/ co-worker would talk about me to his family, in good terms of course. When he passed from cancer last year I met his parents and introduced myself as a former coworker. Told them that he was always really encouraging back in the day when I always spoke of wanting to be a writer. His mom perked up and said "oh he used to talk about you! He always hoped it would work out for you." I found that to be very encouraging. I cried a bit in the car as I was leaving the wake.
The Talent Went Down Too
GiphyA few years after my great aunt passed away, we found out that she had a daughter no one in our family knew about. The daughter, who I'll call M, had been put up for adoption when my aunt was very young.
M had been searching for her missing side of the family since she was young, and was in her fifties when she finally found us. Unfortunately, she never got to meet her biological mother, but she and her daughters couldn't be happier to have found us, and we have welcomed them in with open arms.
My family is very musically inclined and several of us play(ed) instruments, my great aunt included. M's daughter is very musically talented and always says that she never knew where she got it from until she met us. Her daughter told us that learning there was this whole side of her family who is just like her was one of her greatest moments in life.
M acts and talks exactly like my aunt did, always saying quirky stuff and being very animated, which fascinates me because she never was able to grow up and live with my aunt. My family is very close knit, and it hit really hard when my aunt passed away, so finding this woman who is my aunt made over has been such a blessing.
Sorry for the long story, I just love telling it.
Poor And Old Are Not The Same
GiphyAn elderly man at church lived alone (a widower) and was thought to be quite poor.
Every Thanksgiving and Christmas, parishioners would bring him food baskets and practical things he could use for daily living.
To everyone's amazement, when he died, he left the church just under $2 million with a letter expressing his gratitude for the years of care the church had shown him.
Fine Word, Legitimate
GiphyWe very recently found out via ancestry.com that my grandfather had an illegitimate child that was born the year he married my grandmother. I have a half-aunt, blood test confirmed.
She's 50, and only knew who her father could be (my grandpa) because her mother told her what his name possibly was; went looking, and she eventually found us. My mother sent her DNA test in to confirm, and it was a match.
Other Families Are Weirdly Common
GiphyMy great grandpa had a second family that he didn't see as often.
He was married the first time for only about a year before his wife and newborn both passed away in a car accident (1945ish). Then he got remarried to my great grandma and none of our family knew he was still in contact with his first family when he passed away around 2010.
It's really weird seeing a dozen strangers at a funeral that all say they're related to the deceased, but the other 40 relatives had no idea they were still in contact.
He Deserved Better
GiphyThere was this man I worked with at Walmart some years back. Always a nice guy, helpful, etc. Turns out, he passed away a few months ago, (he was in his sixties I think). The circumstances of his death, left me depressed and just sad. He apparently died alone, with his power cut off because he couldn't afford the bill. People didn't find out about him until a week or so later after he died. I still think about him almost daily. Even though he more than likely forgot who I was, ( we didn't have any interaction outside of work) it saddens me greatly to learn how he died.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.