People Reveal The Most Satisfying Times They Caught Someone Lying[rebelmouse-image 18355207 is_animated_gif=
Liars are terrible - but oh MAN it is satisfying to catch them in action, isn't it? It feels so good way down deep in your bones. Your cheeks may hurt a little bit from the smugness of your grin. God we really, sincerely, truly hope each and every one of you gets to experience the joy of that victory. One Reddit user asked: What was the most satisfying time where you caught someone lying?
So obviously we grabbed some popcorn and sat down for the show! And yeah, sooooooo worth it.
Been Around The World[rebelmouse-image 18355208 is_animated_gif=
A co-worker was a military retiree who claimed to have been everywhere.
Someone might say, "I spent a week in Cambodia..."
He'd say, "Yeah, I was there once. Stopped over on my way to Thailand."
We figured he was bullshitting most if not all the time, so we started inventing places. "My cousin is traveling in Argentina, and he's at this mountain village called Burritosalsa...."
HIM: "Oh, yeah. We did a joint military exercise with Argentina back in the 80s and stopped off there."
US: "Did you visit the temple on Blueberry Hill?"
HIM: "Hell, yeah! Everyone in my outfit visited!"
Total BS and it was so satisfying to have people quietly realize it. The faces were priceless.
Best Mac And Cheese[rebelmouse-image 18355209 is_animated_gif=
When I lived with my Dad I had a cash bank that I kept hidden. I was positive about the sum of money I had saved up since it was for something specific. When I counted it, it was short. Like $20 short. I also had a webcam on my computer and since my family was not computer literate I set it up on a timelapse, one picture every 10 seconds. I was gonna catch this thief. Whenever I left the house. I would turn it on.
Sure enough, suspected family member went into my room, went right for the stash and stole more money from me.
I confronted them at dinner in front of everyone, they denied it, others believed them, and then I put the photo I printed out on the table. Dad took it seriously and he was pissed, his wife at the time didn't because she said "it's only $40", the person who stole from me was trying to make excuses. I just wanted my $40 back. I was working at Kroger as a bagger/cashier at the time and minimum wage was 5.15 an hour, so 40 bucks was more than a days worth of hours.
Catching them with evidence felt so good. Best macaroni and cheese I ever ate.
How Many Are In This Deck?[rebelmouse-image 18355210 is_animated_gif=
Someone put down 2 sevens, but I had all four of them. So good.
Write It Down[rebelmouse-image 18355211 is_animated_gif=
I had a boss who kept on getting angry at me because, "I wasn't doing what he told me to do."
Finally one day, I decided to start writing down exactly what he told me, dated it, and kept record of it.
Then one day came where inevitably, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"
"Exactly what you told me to do."
"I NEVER TOLD YOU TO DO THAT!"
"Well, I have it written here..." pulls out note card "On 5/22/16 -- you told me specifically to do this task, exactly like this, and never do it any other way."
I finally won. I started standing up for myself a bit more in the office, and I was respected for it.
John's Cancer[rebelmouse-image 18355212 is_animated_gif=
I was 16 and was seeing a girl who I had some doubts about. She would make up the most insignificant lies about stupid shit but it wasn't malicious so I let it slide, until things escalated. Her dad had a friend (John) who had cancer. We went to visit him 200 miles away and he looked really bad. She acted like she didn't give a s*. About 2 weeks later we were at a party and out of nowhere she started crying about how John had died and she was absolutely devastated. Obviously, I comforted her.
About a week after that I went to dinner at her parents and her dad said:
**"I just got off of the phone with John and they're saying he's reacting well with the chemo." **
Her face dropped, and she couldn't look me in the eye, but I knew I had her, so I finished my dinner and went home. I phoned her later and told her not to call me ever again or I'll tell her dad about her lie. She didn't call again. I still don't know what happened to poor John
Busted By Cat Poop[rebelmouse-image 18355213 is_animated_gif=
I got caught in a lie and I'm positive my mom loved every second of it. When i was little I hated taking baths. One night, my mom told me to go take a bath and get ready for bed. I just ran the water in the tub and acted like i took one.
I came downstairs to say goodnight and my mom was like "Thank you for cleaning the cat poop out of the tub". Our cat had gone in the back of the tub and i didn't see it. My mom set me up. I had to go clean it and take a bath after that.
Parking[rebelmouse-image 18355214 is_animated_gif=
I travel for work. I 90% of the time park in economy at the airport (I think $14 per day). about a 10 to 15 min walk. A few times out of necessity to catch a flight I park in the garage (I think $24 per day, 5 min walk). Usually 2 to 3 day trips, not a huge expense.
My boss suggests I park in Off Site Shuttle parking (about $11 a day, but a pain as you need a bunch more time to plan for the shuttle). He said he does it, because it is cheaper for the company (which he owns).
One day while walking through the garage from on site economy, there in the reserved parking (closest and like $40 per day) is my boss's truck. And reserved takes planning, he wasn't just running late and needed to park in the garage to make a flight.
I just put my business card under his wiper. I never brought it up, and I haven't heard any complaints about parking on my expense reports since.
Doll Limo[rebelmouse-image 18355215 is_animated_gif=
I must have been nine or ten. My friends and I were all going through the same doll phase, so we would bring our favorites to each other's house and play.
As my friend was leaving I noticed a few of my dolls missing. She was holding them hostage in her doll limo, I just knew it. As she was walking outside I casually said, "oh I think you might have grabbed my doll on accident." Flustered she checked her limo and pulled out my dolls.
She also stole some of my dolls clothing. I searched her room when she went to bathroom and stole it back.
Stopped playing dolls with her!
Telling Me My Own Story[rebelmouse-image 18355218 is_animated_gif=
At work one day a co-worker started telling me and another co-worker a story about being stopped by the police.
He went into great detail about how he stopped at a gas station for a drink and there were two cops standing out front and nobody else in the parking lot. He gave the cops a wave, being nice, bought his drink, and left. Less than a hundred feet down the street these same two cops pulled him over. They told him that they smelled weed when he got out of the car. He asked the cops if they could smell it now, standing next to his open window, they said no but it was obvious it came from him. They asked if they could search his car, which he angrily let them, telling them he wanted the cops to climb through his hot car to find nothing. While one cop did the "Search" the other cop told him to calm down, he looked nervous. To which he said "I'm not pissed, I'm angry. You didn't smell weed, you smelled a shaved head and tattoos." The cops found nothing and let him go about his business.
It was MY story. It happened to ME months before and I told that story at work back then. He even quoted me, except I said "Long hair and tattoos". A few minutes into the story my other co-worker and I start giving each other the side eye, realizing he was literally telling me my own story. I think he realized it towards the end because he quickly finished up the story and left without ever mentioning it again.
We never brought it up either, I had such a bad case of second hand embarrassment for the guy. Plus everybody else already heard about it and he was forever branded the liar.
Picture Evidence[rebelmouse-image 18355219 is_animated_gif=
Once had a person work for me who would always call out and use her past health problems as a crutch to miss work all the time. One Monday she called in, gave me some generic illness excuse and said she couldn't get out of bed.
That morning another department had a breakfast meeting at a restaurant and saw her there eating breakfast with her friends looking like she was in perfect health. The picture evidence sent to me was oh so satisfying. Believe it or not she managed to keep her job.
Pack Of Jackals[rebelmouse-image 18355220 is_animated_gif=
Not completelly relevant, but I doubt such a specific thread would come up anytime soon. I caught someone who was trying to convince me I was lying.
When I was little, my mom was driving me to school. We went the more rural of the two possible roads, and on our way we saw a wolf, so we stopped the car and watched it from a distance for a little while.
I told this to my aunt recently and she didn't believe me, because this isn't (and never was) a wolf area. My mom, even though she was with me, didn't get involved in the argument. She just listened.
The argument was at a standstill at that point. I claimed it was a wolf, she claimed it was a jackal (which are not in this area either, but it's maybe a bit more likely). With all the wonders of modern technology, she opened her phone, googled something, and gave the phone to me: "Does that look like what you saw?"
It was a scrawny thing with a pointy nose and red-brown fur. Definitely not. "Well of course you didn't see that, because that's a picture of a wolf."
Before she could take her phone back, I read out loud the title below the picture from a news article it belonged to: *"Pack of Jackals found in Southern Serbia." *She furiously took her phone from me and was too embarrassed to keep arguing, so I won by default. Mom didn't say anything, but I felt her proud smirk.
I will claim that was a wolf we saw on my deathbed.
Take That, Eloise![rebelmouse-image 18355221 is_animated_gif=
Okay this is super petty, but when I was 7 my friend Eloise thought she was the queen of the animal kingdom. She knew everything about every animal ever, acting likes she's been watching animal planet since the day her mum popped her out. I always kind of thought she must be lying about her nature knowledge, I mean she knew WAY too much. So one day we're in the playground and she's poking at the ground trying to find beetles or something, whilst prattling off a long list of species.
Then I just say "oh hey! What do you know about the insert made up beetle name I pulled out my butt?".
And then she goes on and on about how much she loves that species and all these "facts" about their diet and habitat. I just kind of let her get on with it for a while before breaking it to her that she had just been pretending to know about a made up beetle for the last five minutes.
She just started stuttering and looking down at her feet and then eventually just changed the subject.
It felt so good to finally expose her, her nature knowledge was a fat sham the whole time. Take that Eloise!
Pattern Of Abuse[rebelmouse-image 18355222 is_animated_gif=
I had strep throat, so I called out sick to work. I was sick two days. My new manager called me and and said I had a pattern of abusing my sick time, and that I would not be paid for my sick time. She explicitly mentioned that I always called three days in a row, and that I had exceeded the acceptable amount occurrences for the year. This was in October, I had a sick kid in February for one day, she started in June, so where was she getting this pattern from? I had three days over two occurrences for the entire year, both with doctor's notes, well under the five occurrences (each with up to three days sick) that HR puts a soft limit at.
Unluckily for her, I knew our schedule tracking system and how to get at my punched/missed hours, and I knew our policy regarding sick time and how abuse was handled, so I printed the policy, my last four years of attendance (along with my coworkers). I sat down with her, and she reiterated the accusation of abuse. I pulled out my last year, with two calls on it. She said the pattern was from before she started, so I pulled out the previous four years and the policy (10 occurrences over four years, remember that HR calls violation over 5 occurrences within one year). She said that I had more sick calls than anyone else, so I pulled theirs out too, and I was actually on the lower half of occurrences. My sick bank was near capped out. How would that be possible if I was a flagrant abuser of the system?
The backpeddling started. She said that she never said I wouldn't get paid. I pulled out my phone and played the recording for her; she thought my number was a landline and said I wasn't allowed to furnish cellphone messages while at work. I told her I get paid or I quit over hostile work environment, which would mean a very easy unemployment case, which would actually have to be payed out by my employer in this case. Which would mean my manager would be cooked.
I got paid for my sick time. I stayed 3 more years because I had a position that paid okay, had incredible benefits, and they paid for me to go back to school to better myself for a new position. Two years of certification education meant I had to wait an additional year before leaving to avoid penalties. Sometimes we have to put up with a little crap in order to build something better. It puts hair on your chest. Yes, she made the next three years absolutely miserable for me, but I still remember that one time.
The Business Meeting[rebelmouse-image 18355223 is_animated_gif=
In a large business meeting, boardroom style. Something went wrong on a project my company did. The executives were nervous as hell because we were being blamed for a failure and the client was demanding we pay for it. The thing is I was the project manager for this job, and had recently been promoted. I warned the client about a potential problem when the project was underway, but they chose to ignore it and press on. Now that it was failing they wanted us to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to fix it, and our competitors were already about to take the next multimillion $ project.
So the clients manager outlines his case and asks when he can expect us to fix it for him, assuming we'll just cave in hopes of getting future business (that's my company's MO). They even said our on site Rep should have caught the problem so this whole thing was our fault. Our project manager clearly didn't know what he was doing otherwise he would have caught this. My boss was about to respond, but I gently interrupted. I basically said "I was the on site PM and did catch the problem immediately I have a few documents for your perusal". I had with me the printed email exchange where I warned about the problem and advised how to fix it, as well as the clients very clear response that they thought it was worth the risk and wouldn't change anything. The clients face turned red. He looked at my bosses and said they should have told him who I was. We wound up paying for the fix anyway in exchange for being awarded the next project.
This kind of thing happens constantly in my business, though usually on a much smaller, less grand, and less public scale. My entire job is CYA.
35 Page Thesis[rebelmouse-image 18355225 is_animated_gif=
A year had gone by with no settlement in what should have been a very simple divorce (no children, no remarkable assets or property.). Instead, it had been nothing but lies, harassment and threats from this attorney who had just recently got her law license back after having it suspended for a year.
There was a lot of stuff that had transpired, but the last straw was when I begrudgingly agreed to pay $1,500 in legal fees to her attorney because I just wanted the nightmare to end. After she got the cashiers check, she claimed to have "destroyed" the check because it wasn't made out to her and instead it was made out to my ex as ordered by the court. A few emails followed as I cancelled the cashiers check. She tried to have my ex cash out the check while demanding another one in her name or else...
After a year of nonstop threats and lies, we had had it. We filed sanctions against her. It had been 3 months since the incident and they weren't producing a settlement as ordered and when they finally did on the day of the sanctions hearings, it was more of a criminal document to implicate myself than a settlement. She had filed counter-sanctions against me for filing sanctions against her. That made use file a second order for sanctions against her because she basically tried to extort me by saying that she'll lift her sanctions against me if we pay her $5,000.
For the entire year and a half at this point it had seemed like my ex and her crazy attorney had always gotten their way and that their consistent harassment and lies had been rewarded by the courts. I was shocked when at the sanctions hearing the judge started with a few simple questions to both sides and then immediately tore into my ex's attorney for 15 minutes. I mean tore into, like yelling at her and telling her how much of an embarrassment this is to the court system. It was surreal to me.
What was even more surreal to me was when I got the judge's ruling 90 days later. It was a document written by the judge who meticulously reviewed our case and basically wrote a 35 page thesis on it. It called out all of the lies from my ex's attorney. It was unbelievable to see on paper by an impartial judge, calling out my ex and her attorney on all of their lies and their abhorrent behavior.
My ex had to pay back the legal fees, her attorney had to pay me $2,000, which means she had to report herself to the state bar. If she didn't, the judge did it for her anyways by mailing the entire ruling to the bar. Last I heard, she made her law license "inactive" and moved to another state to be a waitress.
Fake Kidney Transplant[rebelmouse-image 18351217 is_animated_gif=
I used to work at a grocery store. One of my coworkers was constantly calling in sick, claiming she had one illness or another. Management couldn't just can her for it as it was a union shop, so she had protection unless she could be caught in a bald faced and indefensible lie. One Friday I get called in to cover her shift because she called in claiming she was very sick and needed a kidney transplant. On her next shift on Monday she's wandering around with gauze wrapped around her stomach and back claiming that she had that kidney transplant on the weekend. That she had been so sick that they rushed her into surgery and put her at the top of the transplant list! When she does it to me I stop her and say "Isn't the recovery time on a transplant at least a month or two? The hospital shouldn't have let you out." Realizing I've caught her in a lie she rushes to the front desk, claims she shouldn't be here and that she needs to go home or she'll pop her surgery stitches.
A few days later she was fired when she couldn't provide proof of the surgery, she tried to sue but no lawyer would take her case. It was hilarious.
New Candy[rebelmouse-image 18346601 is_animated_gif=
I caught my mom eating my Halloween candy when I was little after she told me it wasn't her. Getting new candy from the store because of it was pretty satisfying.
I Know Her Very Well[rebelmouse-image 18355226 is_animated_gif=
I was in a bar having some beers when I feel a tap on my shoulder. It was a guy I went to school with. I didn't really hang out with him back then, but decided to catch up and share stories anyways. At one point he mentions sleeping with a girl I knew very well, a girl I knew for a fact was a virgin until after she graduated. I just kind of nodded and let him go. Then, I said something along the lines of:
"Oh, I actually know her very well, we'll have to hit her up, she comes out and drinks with me all the time!"
He turned white. The look of horror in his eyes was great.
Mr. Olympian[rebelmouse-image 18355227 is_animated_gif=
Oohhh boy. So in college I had this friend who was a very good pole vaulter. Seriously, one of the top in the state for his division. This was back in 2008. He tells ALL of his family, and friends, and even his boss that he was recruited to compete in the Beijing olymipcs. Well his close friends, including myself already call bullshit but when the "day" comes he is nowhere to be found. In fact, we didn't see him for a couple of days, and he started texting pics from Beijing. So we were doubting ourselves a bit.
Then we were driving along the freeway, and guess who's broken down on the side of the road like 2 days after he left? Mr Olympian! When we pulled over the look on his face was priceless. He stood by his story too, and said because of the time difference he already went and came back. Haha he's a idiot. I still don't know what he had to gain from such an elaborate bullshit story.
The Case Did Not End Well[rebelmouse-image 18355228 is_animated_gif=
Sued a bloke for not paying his mortgage. He filed an application claiming he'd never been served with the court proceedings, and he'd just found them in his front yard. He also managed in two pages to set out eleven separate claimed defences to the claim. Oh and he also claimed he didn't speaka da good English.
Something didn't stack up. So I ran some Court file searches, and discovered he'd defaulted on another mortgage a few years earlier and filed the exact same affidavit back then. Even included the exact same photos of the court documents supposedly lying in his yard.
The case did not end well for him.
Don't forget to hang up or turn off your phone.
It seems simple enough to remember.
But more and more people seem to forget this simple little step, and find themselves saying things which weren't meant to be heard by the person on the other end of the phone.
Or worse, if it's a FaceTime or Zoom chat, the person on the other end might see something that wasn't meant to be seen.
Redditor ScarTissue5 was curious to hear the many wild things people overheard when people thought they'd hung up, but didn't, leading them to ask:
"What’s the craziest thing you’ve heard someone say after they thought the phone call had ended but they forgot to hang up?"
"A colleague of mine dialed into a meeting of 2-3 managers plus about 25 sales reps only for everyone to suddenly go quiet and for one person to tell him the meeting was cancelled and he could drop as they, the sales reps, were just chatting sales stuff."
"He pretended to hang up and stayed on the line."
"They were basically planning a mutiny because they didn't like that their regional manager was a woman."
"They had a whole strategy for how they were going to cause a massive f*ck up that would cost the company a ton of money and look like it was her fault so she would get fired."
"The dumbwads even did a little 'are we all in agreement' roll call at the end."
"We worked in a call center so his end of the call was recorded."
"Within a week every last one of them was fired and within a month they were replaced."- InternetWeakGuy.Season 6 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy
Walls are not always soundproof.
"I was looking for a place to rent."
"Met the property manager and she walked me to the unit."
"It wasn't the best neighborhood and my mind was already made up as I was walking around the property with her that I wasn't going to go through with it."
"But the lady was very nice and friendly and I figured I'd at least take a look inside the unit."
"It was small and dingy."
"I looked around and told her nicely that I'd think about it and then walked out."
"After the door closed, I could hear her screaming: 'No, you f*cking won't!'"
" Oh, I'll think about it and let you know.'"
"Certainly glad I did not rent."- SweetDee72.
Overheard at the office.
"I once worked as a secretary in an office that, for some reason, got butt-dialed a lot."
"During one such occasion I got to listen in while some gentleman from New York absolutely roasted one of his employees."
"'Well what the f*ck do you expect me to do?'"
"'Honestly, Tom, honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm sleeping your sister, you would be out of here right now'."- BabySuperfreak.
"Here, kitty, kitty..."
"I left a client a voicemail and thought I hung up but in fact I proceeded to talk baby talk to my roommates cat for several minutes while it was recording."- Incontinento
"Another season, another reason..."
"I used to work at a call center that took orders for a lot of different things."
"I took a call from an old lady one day."
"She told me she was 89 and her husband was 92."
"She ordered a generic brand of 'the little blue pills'."
"As she was hanging up I heard:"
"Little old man: Did ya get'm?"
"Little old lady: I sure did."
"Little old man: HOT DAMN I'm gonna get some now!"
"Little old lady: *giggles*"- Shenaniganic.
You'll do this, or else...
"My mother-in-law [MIL] had a new boss who hated her."
"She was about three years from retirement, and she felt like he was trying to push her out early so she’d loose part of her pension etc."
"She asked me to check her answering machine while she was gone after her mother died and let her know if anything important came in, and to water her plants."
"The third day or so I’d been there, there was a message from this boss giving his condolences."
"Then you could hear the click where he thought he’d hung up but must have placed the receiver just wrong and was still on the line."
"He ruthlessly made fun of her with his wife for the next five minutes before saying 'Oh, sh*t!' and hanging up."
"She was at a really low point in her life, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her or leave the message on the machine."
"It would have absolutely crushed her."
"But I did record it, and then I deleted it from her machine."
"Then I called that a**hole and told him what I had, why I wasn’t telling her RIGHT NOW, but absolutely would if needed in the future, and told him I’d better hear nothing but how wonderful work was going for her and how well she was treated until she retired."
"I told him I didn’t even understand what a piece of sh*t you had to be to talk about someone like that behind their back, and especially at such a time in their life."
"And that’s exactly what happened."
"She had a wonderful last few years and figured that her mother dying had opened him up to treat her kindly and with respect."
"That was twenty years ago and I never told her and never will."
"I wouldn’t want to ever take those last few years there away from her."- skbiglia.
"You talkin' to me?"
"Not a crazy story but I had just finished talking to a client over the phone, we say our goodbyes, then I hear her ask 'are you wearing pants today?'"
"I wasn't sure how to answer that but I figure she was jokingly asking because everyone just started working from home due to covid."
"I just replied 'Yes'."
"She then burst out laughing trying to explaining that she thought she had already hung up and she was actually asking her husband that question."
"We laughed about it for about 3 mins before we actually hung up."- lexisauce.
A dissatisfied customer.
"I worked in sales, inbound call, and had a pleasant conversation with a customer who politely declined the offer and told me she was going to look elsewhere."
"We said our goodbyes, nothing out of the ordinary."
"Really sweet lady, had called in with her husband."
"As soon as she thought she hung up, she slammed her phone down and starts yelling at her husband."
"'F*ck [company name], are you f*cking shitting me right now?'"
"'$350 a f*cking year?'"
"'I’m not paying that much for this g*ddamn piece of sh*t [product] how the f*ck could that b*tch pitch that with a straight f*cking face?'”
"I gave her the decency of hanging up myself after that but she was 100% in the right being pissed haha."
" Inbound means she called us to update, not the other way around for those confused."
"I said she was justified because the company sucks."
"It was exactly what she called in for, just with a price increase she wasn’t expecting."- sh*ttysoprano.
"I called a service provider who was supposed to order certificates of good standing from a state and they were late in sending them over."
"They told me there was a delay at the state’s office and gave me a new estimate."
"They forgot to hang up, and I heard them telling their coworker that they’d completely forgot to send in the time sensitive request in the first place."
"Never used them again."- a_little_wicked
"I had a job where I was in a position to write-off a substantial phone bill, which the customer said was because her mother was dying overseas and she had dementia and needed to hear things in her voice to believe anything, including doctor’s instructions."
"She was heartbroken and sobbing about how if she had the kind of money to pay this phone bill, she would have just gone back to her country because the flight would have cost less."
"She was right about that."
"I wrote-off the entirety of the phone bill, she cried like a jilted lover in a rom-com and said people like me are angels from god etc."
"After I wished her a good evening and she thought the call was ended, she says to someone in a perfectly normal voice ‘Well, that worked!’"- aardvarkyardwork.Michael Buble Gotcha GIF by bublyGiphy
Never underestimate the importance of that little click or your phone returning to its home screen.
Neglecting to take note of those simple little things could land you in more trouble than you could possibly imagine.
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The joy of living in a pluralistic society is the ability to practice any religion one so chooses.
What is often forgotten is that this includes not practicing any religion at all.
Making this hard to remember is when American politicians espouse their conservative views owing to "religious reasons", seeming to forget about the first amendment, and unable to understand others who don't practice their own religion.
Others, however, are more tolerant of those who do not have any divine beliefs, however religious they might be themselves.
Redditor _DSYR was curious to hear views on Atheism from people who were devoutly religious themselves, leading them to ask:
"Religious people, how do you view atheism/atheists?"
They are justified
"I completely understand why someone is Atheist."
"It’s difficult to believe in God when there is no clear evidence."- Profound_RK800.
They're just like us.
"Like normal people."- Noramgami.
"The same as everyone else, just regular people."
"They have their beliefs and I have mine, doesn’t mean we can’t happily coexist or that one opinion is more valid than the other."- Cfurber.
Religion, or lack thereof, doesn't define you as a person.
"One of my good friends is an atheist, and he's a stand up guy."
"We talk about religion from time to time, and it never gets heated or insulting."
"He is interested in learning from my perspective, even if he doesn't believe the same things."
"I've met several people like this, and I hope it's the norm for atheists."
"I've also met several religious people who act like anything but. "
"They are narcisistic, racist, ignorant, and hateful."
"It saddens me to see atheists on reddit who loudly proclaim that religion is a cancer on the world and that anybody who follows one is an idiot."
"To me, these atheists are acting exactly like the religious people they claim to hate: narcissistic, ignorant, and hateful."
"Religion, or lack of, is what you choose to clothe yourself in."
"If you're a bad person, it doesn't matter how you're dressed, you're still going to be a jerk."- JonSnow31391.
Life's too short not to enjoy it.
"I’ve always found it interesting that they don’t believe in like a higher power/deity since, I have never questioned if there was a God, even though I don’t consider myself religious."
"I also have been lucky to have met atheists who believe in making the best out of life bc of the mentality that there is nothing after we die."
"I find that to be incredibly admiring."
"I have never subscribed to the rhetoric of 'this is not our hom'e” in Christianity."
"I believe that earth and heaven are both of our homes equally one for the physical body and one for the spiritual body, so acting like living on earth is a checklist is a load of BS to me."
"I developed this perspective from conversations with my atheist friends."
"So all in all: I respect them and I believe that they act more like Christ than religious people who go to church every week."- Deep-Reindeer3384.
Don't use your beliefs to justify bad behavior.
"Anyone who wraps their belief system around themselves, and parades through the world like a walking billboard sign, is a problem."
"Anyone who uses their belief system to belittle, defraud, polarize, segregate, dehumanize, enslave, or destroy others, is a problem."
"Anyone who uses their belief system to justify child abuse is a problem."
"Anyone who uses their belief system to encourage government to limit the personal rights/freedoms of others, is a problem."
"Anyone who is more concerned about converting someone than caring for them is a problem."
"If you're atheist and do this, you're a problem....if your theist and do this, you're a problem."
"It's really not that complicated." - User Deleted
Treat others the way you want to be treated.
"I am Christian."
"In my faith, we are taught to love everyone the way we would want to be loved."
"If you tell me you do not follow a faith or have a religion and you choose not to be involved in one because of whatever reason or no reason you have, I will treat you with the same care and respect that I would treat a fellow believer."
"The only way you will ever get anything less than respect from me, is if you purposefully go out of your way to diminish my views."
"I will not shove my faith down your throat."
"Heck, I won’t even speak of it should that be a boundary of yours."
"Mutual respect."- Shi_Cran.
A mother's worries.
"My mom feels sad for me."
"Like a real deep sadness that I think this is all there is."
"How can I not think there’s a perfect afterlife coming?"
"I think she’s worried I won’t be there because I haven’t accepted it as well."
"It’s ironic because I feel sad for her because she doesn’t live her life because the next life will be perfect."- tilineedathrowaway.
There's not just one type of Atheist.
"Depends on the type."
"Type One: people like my husband who were raised in a cult."
"He got out, and now he just sees religion as a farce."
"But he does not judge me for being religious, and he understands why I am, and he is even in agreement that we should raise our son religious."
"But once you leave a cult you are hesitant to ever re-join another religion."
"Zero judgement, I get this one."
"Type Two: the people who do not believe because they are scientific minds and it just does not make sense."
"Absolutely no judgement there."
"I totally get it."
"Type Three: the ones who are smug about it and feel like they have the secret to life by not believing in a God but like, what does that do for you exactly?"
"Why are you so smug?"
"No real respect for those people, and not because they are atheist but because they are douches."- flowergirl654.
No one should be judged for their religion or lack of religion.
Only when people do not treat others with the kindness and respect they deserve should people even begin to throw judgment.
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Reddit is one if those internet things that either you totally get, or you absolutely don't.
To some, it's a ridiculous echo chamber of people who live to egg one another on.
To others, it's a supportive community with its own sort of rules, culture, superlatives, and even language.
Whichever camp you fall into, there's some stuff you need to know if you're gonna survive.
Like it truly doesn't matter if you're in the woods to cut it down or to enjoy the splendor - you should still know that bears will eat your face off and they don't necessarily kill you first.
Reddit user ihavethebestmarriage asked:
"What are some reddit rookie mistakes?"
So here's how to avoid getting your proverbial face eaten off by an e-bear on Reddit.
"Thinking consensus on Reddit represents widely accepted views in outside world."
"I used to secretly make fun of people who quoted Reddit as a credible source before I joined. Now I increasingly find myself starting sentences with, 'I read on Reddit…'."
"That’s your mistake. You just have to say 'I read that…..' and never mention that your source is a random Reddit comment."
"Yes. To avoid the shame."
The Nothing AwardsGIF by Australian OpenGiphy
"Unnecessary award speech edits"
"Also: following up with a 'what do I do with this gold' question."
"Nothing sir. The answer is nothing."
"Also: What do I do with all this karma."
"Nothing sir. The answer is nothing."
"My mom joined reddit and was posting in subreddits related to her work."
"She wasn't constantly shilling, but would if the person was in her service area, mention her business explicitly."
"Her username even included her business name in it."
"I had to explain that Reddit wasn't really supposed to be a marketing tool in the same way Twitter or Facebook were."
"It is, though, you just have to frame it in a cutesy way so that people can pretend you aren't marketing: "
" 'I just started my business! Here's a cupcake I made!' "
"Predictable redditor or sock puppet account: 'I would buy one of those!! Where are you located??'."
"No, it's better to say 'I just found this business, they look like they could really use support'."
"A LOT of those posts are self-advertising, as reddit generally is against that, along with it being against the rules in a lot of subreddits."
"Know someone who used to help smaller businesses do that, basically advertise their stuff pretending to be a 'genuine' person who just happened to discover and post about their stuff."
"Happens a lot more than people think, even on a large scale. Businesses have been hiring actors and people to pretend to like their products for ages now."
"I had no idea my low social status could keep my posts from going live."
" 🥺 That explains a lot"
"This is to prevent new accounts bots from polluting the place, your karma will rack up quickly as you interact with people, give and get awards, etc."
"I just gave you a my gifted silver award… now it’s prompting me to buy more awards."
"I didn’t realize people were paying to give awards and now I went from wondering 'how' to wondering 'why'…"
"It irritates me to no end when people treat Reddit like it's a 90s forum used by 37 people."
" 'I'm new here, first time poster' "
"My first reply to a question like that was '14/not yet/home'."
"I was a dumb kid in the 90s."
"I like to say: I don't really know American Sign Language, but I am trying to learn"
In The First Placegeorge w bush door GIFGiphy
"Joining reddit in the first place"
"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."
" 'Relax, ' said the night man, 'We are programmed to receive'."
"Exactly. Leaving is the easy part. It's staying away that's tough."
"Reddit is like Runescape. You never stop once you start. You just take breaks"
Lurk Hard, Play HardTim And Eric Reaction GIFGiphy
"Spend some time in a subreddit before commenting."
"Read the rules, read the FAQ, read the top-voted posts. Spend a week and see what topics come up often. Search prior posts which discuss the same topic you want to post about."
"I browsed comments for like a year before I even made an account."
"I wish that I could remember what comment I needed to make so badly that I created an account after more than a year of lurking."
"When you comment 'This.' under someone else’s comment."
"Just give them your upvote and move on, no need to comment if you aren’t adding anything meaningful to the topic"
"Louder for the people in the back!"
"Believing everything you read and at the same time disbelieving everything you read that goes against your personal opinion/narrative."
"Having a healthy dose of skepticism without being a jerk about it is a good life skill in general."
"Yup but that’s not just reddit rookies, that’s 80% of the global population."
"A good habit I’m working to build is whenever I have a question about anything, even if I’m thinking to myself, I google it."
"It helps build a strong knowledge base."
Shhjim carey comedy GIFGiphy
"Responding to every reply to your AskReddit post."
"I do this LOL. I like doing it because I asked a question and people have responded, so I respond back because I want them to know that I read it and found what they said interesting."
"I do it because I have nothing else to do."
"Every comment boosts the likelihood that the post will survive more than an hour."
"Askreddit new is brutal. Unless you get a bunch of comments or karma within 30 minutes or so, your post will die a quiet death."
"Then its really just shh"
And there you have it - a survival manual for the wildest place I'm the universe.
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Sometimes you only need to experience something once, to know it's a never again situation.
I always say, try everything once.
Well, now that I'm older, a caveat to that is... try it all within reason.
How many things have we all walked away from saying the one time experience will suffice?
In fact, knowing when to say no is one of life's wisest choices.
Redditor Croakied wanted to discuss the times we've all said... "once was enough!" They asked:
"What is one thing that you will NEVER do again?"
Love. Did it. A few times. Moving on.
Stay StillTravel GIF by Grish MajethiyaGiphy
"Jump off a moving train."
"My dad used to jump on a train when he was little to go to school. He broke his nose like twice doing it. He also would not recommend."
"Smoke alcohol. Me and my friends bought something called a 'vaportini' in college where you could pour alcohol into a bulb and after low heat separated the alcohol from the liquid, you could inhale it thru the glass straw you inserted into the bulb. Basically you got drunk directly into your bloodstream/brain and it never hit your stomach."
"If you did too much, your body wouldn’t make you vomit or something, there wouldn’t be a simple self regulation/safety measure. You’d just get alcohol poisoning. Felt very dangerous, the drunk wasn’t a regular drunk feeling. We used it once and were like okay, never again. I’d be surprised if you could still buy it, although it would be incredibly easy to replicate at home."
"Fall in love with a drug addict."
"Good call, don’t do it. The drugs will always come first. Can’t go out unless their 'ok' with how much drugs they have and money left over if any, cant make love unless they have their fix for the night and even still it never feels normal, can’t trust them after the lies to get drugs and the manipulation they put you through, and you can’t change them no matter how much you try and wish they would. It’s heartbreaking."
More me time...
"Give up my life for work. F**k going the extra mile for a place that doesn't value you and pays you crap even though you go the extra mile for them. You have 1 life with only so much precious time to enjoy it and slaving away at some job is not worth it. Do what you can to reduce your workload and find better employment, or hell try to change the working conditions at your current job to improve things for everyone if you can."
"Donate a kidney."
"Well, you could donate the remaining one. You just won’t be around to say anything about it."
This is definitely list I can relate to. No thank you on a lot of this!
I QuitSmoke Smoking GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Smoke cigarettes, it's been two years since I quit."
"Climb mount Kilimanjaro. Toughest thing I've done and it's not worth it. I'm all about tough treks and camping but to put yourself under tough conditions and suspectable to altitude sickness only to get to the top for 10 minutes for a picture. No thank you."
"I agree, it was memorable. Once was enough for my husband and I. Thankfully we stayed at American style hotel run by the US Navy with a hot tub and bar. Alcohol was definitely needed after all that."
I'm living alone!
"Sign a lease with a stranger without hanging out with them a few times beforehand. My past roommate experiences in college were terrible. Roommates either ignored me, hosted parties til 3 AM on weeknights, made the house the hangout and drug-den for them and their buddies. Meet up once and they'll put on an act for you. If you can, try to see how they act drunk or frustrated."
"Try to hang out with their buddies too so you can see the type of people who could be coming into your future place of residence. As soon as I can afford it, I'm living alone! Now, I investigate a potential roommate's social media and hang out at least twice before signing a lease with them."
"Take back a cheater. Know your worth my brothers and sisters."
"Ughhhhh going back and forth on this one. My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me. Several times, actually but says he’s really changed and is ready to settle down and wants me to move in with him. I’m on the fence. So they never change???"
SleeptimeTired Good Night GIF by HBO MaxGiphy
"Take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time."
Once, twice, three times... I'm out. Bye.
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