"You LIAR!"
You can feel it in your gut. It's a small, nagging tug that never lets go. You repeatedly think, "This dude's straight up lying to me. I just know it." Then, BOOM! You see your opportunity to catch them, expose them, and put them on full blast. Nothing has ever been that satisfying before and nothing will be that satisfying ever again. A Reddit user wanted to know about those glorious times when they asked:
What was the most satisfying time where you caught someone lying?
Silence Is The Best Policy
I travel for work. I 90% of the time park in economy at the airport (I think $14 per day). about a 10 to 15 min walk. A few times out of necessity to catch a flight I park in the garage (I think $24 per day, 5 min walk). Usually 2 to 3 day trips, not a huge expense.
My boss suggests I park in Off Site Shuttle parking (about $11 a day, but a pain in the a-- as you need a bunch more time to plan for the shuttle). He said he does it, because it is cheaper for the company (which he owns).
One day while walking through the garage from on site economy, there in the reserved parking (closest and like $40 per day) is my boss's truck. And reserved takes planning, he wasn't just running late and needed to park in the garage to make a flight.
I just put my business card under his wiper. I never brought it up, and I haven't heard any complaints about parking on my expense reports since.
Set The Trap
A co-worker was a military retiree who claimed to have been everywhere.
Someone might say, "I spent a week in Cambodia..."
He'd say, "Yeah, I was there once. Stopped over on my way to Thailand."
We figured he was bullsh-tting most if not all the time, so we started inventing places. "My cousin is traveling in Argentina, and he's at this mountain village called Burritosalsa...."
HIM: "Oh, yeah. We did a joint military exercise with Argentina back in the 80s and stopped off there."
US: "Did you visit the temple on Blueberry Hill?"
HIM: "Hell, yeah! Everyone in my outfit visited!"
Total bullsh-tter.
Photographic Proof
When I lived with my Dad I had a cash bank that I kept hidden. I was positive about the sum of money I had saved up (I was saving up for the Xbox One Xbox 360 which was coming out) and when I counted it, it was short. Like $20 short. I also had a webcam on my computer and since my family was not computer literate I set it up on a timelapse, one picture every 10 seconds, whenever I left the house. Sure enough, suspected family member went into my room, went right for the stash and stole from me. I confronted them at dinner in front of everyone, they denied it, others believed them, and then I put the photo I printed out on the table.
Best macaroni and cheese I ever ate.
Adamantly Wrong On Camera
Guest lied to me that he paid for two nights and wouldn't leave the room.
Made me go through this giant ordeal of calling all the front desk employees and double check all their work. He threw a huge fit. He jets out of the parking lot and the police take him in.
Coworkers and I still play it on the camera and laugh about it.
Don't Change A Thing
Before desktop publishing, I was in my 20s, an ad designer for a local department store. The boss was out, and a co-worker (who had been there many years, and was jaded and grumpy all the time) was put in charge for the day. I brought an ad to her for approval, and she found some nit-picky thing that she wanted adjusted.
I knew that it was just bullsh-t on her part, so she could feel powerful. I took the ad back to my desk, worked on something else for a while, then brought it back absolutely unchanged. She looked at it and said "Oh, that looks much better!", and approved it.
I never let on that it was the exactly same version she'd rejected earlier.
Let Them Catch Themselves
That happened with my previous boss.
I'd sent him a deck that we were going to present the next day, and he nit-picked the hell out of it. We were on a business trip, just got off a really long flight, and I didn't want to fight it even though I knew his revisions were bull. I revised the file and sent it over. Unbeknownst to me, in my sleep-deprived state I had sent the unrevised file again. He checked it and went "See, isn't this so much clearer?" while pointing out the parts that he thought I had changed. I realized when I saw it that it was the old file, but I let him keep talking for a few minutes until he checked another slide and saw it unchanged, and he realized that the file was unrevised.
I hated working for him, and that was pretty much the only revenge I ever got so it felt great.
Hijacker Barbie!
I must have been nine or ten. My friends and I were all going through the same doll phase, so we would bring our favorites to each other's house and play.
As my friend was leaving I noticed a few of my dolls missing. She was holding them hostage in her doll limo, I just knew it. As she was walking outside I casually said, "oh I think you might have grabbed my doll on accident." Flustered she checked her limo and pulled out my dolls.
Got you.
She also stole some of my dolls clothing. I searched her room when she went to bathroom and stole it back.
Stopped playing dolls with her!
When The Power Is Sooo Great
I dated this guy off and on for about a year. Things didn't always add up but I was young and dumb and made excuses. During that year his mom passed away from pancreatic cancer, he relapsed and then went to rehab, and after he got out he moved a few states away for a fresh start near where his grandparents lived. We decided we were done at that point but he still emailed occasionally and a couple times he'd randomly show up on my doorstep saying he was in town and needed to see me.
After one such surprise visit I emailed him and said that I couldn't keep doing this and to please not come by anymore. A year or so passed and I got a bug up my butt one night to google him. And found a baby registry with his name on it. Looked up the baby mama on Facebook and found pictures of them together living together just a few hours away and during the time that he and I were dating. I was able to determine that when we first started seeing each other they weren't together, but when he was supposedly in California and missed me so much and didn't want to be with anyone else he was actually just a few hours away with her. The kicker - his mom was still alive too. It became clear to me that he was a pathological liar and I'd basically fallen in love with someone that didn't really exist.
Here's the satisfying part - literally the next day he showed up on my doorstep. The first thing I said is "Where's W (baby mama)? Does she know you're here?" His face dropped, he started stammering making excuses that I didn't know what was really going on. He even insisted that his mom was dead. I felt like I was in a girl power movie moment as I told him to get the f-ck off my porch and never come see me again.
Spotting Someone Out In The World
Once had a person work for me who would always call out and use her past health problems as a crutch to miss work all the time. One Monday she called in, gave me some generic illness excuse and said she couldn't get out of bed.
That morning another department had a breakfast meeting at ihop (ihob) and saw her there eating breakfast with her friends looking like she was in perfect health. The picture evidence sent to me was oh so satisfying.
Eat It, Eloise!
Okay this is super petty, but when I was 7 my friend Eloise thought she was the queen of the animal kingdom. She knew everything about every animal ever, acting likes she's been watching animal planet since the day her mum popped her out. I always kind of thought she must be lying about her nature knowledge, I mean she knew WAY too much. So one day we're in the playground and she's poking at the ground trying to find beetles or something, whilst prattling off a long list of species.
Then I just say "oh hey! What do you know about the insert made up beetle name I pulled out my arse?".
And then she goes on and on about how much she loves that species and all these "facts" about their diet and habitat. I just kind of let her get on with it for a while before breaking it to her that she had just been pretending to know about a made up beetle for the last five minutes. She just started stuttering and looking down at her feet and then eventually just changed the subject.
It felt so good to finally expose her, her nature knowledge was a fat sham the whole time. Take that Eloise.
Don't. Mess. With. The. Library.
I'm a librarian and I'm actually very proud of this one. Back then I was in charge of the cinema and music section of my library. This guy came with his son and asked me where to find our Puff Daddy CDs. We have one and I show him on the shelves where to find it. Then I was called in another place of the library and go check on my colleagues. On my way back to the music section, I see him coming out of the library and I don't know why (maybe he seemed dodgy) but I have a feeling something is wrong. I go check, the CD is gone. It's not appearing on his library card, so he didn't borrow it. I have a look if he didn't misplace it but it's not there. The guy just stole the f-cking Puff Daddy CD, WITH HIS 8 YEARS OLD SON. FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARY. WHERE YOU CAN BORROW IT FOR FREE. At this point I do nothing because we have no proof, and no security camera. A few weeks later, the son and his sister (8 and 10 years old) come to the library again and borrow some CD. I'm watching them and to my knowledge, they didn't steal anything, and I don't want to confront them because it would break my heart to have them stopping to come to the library because of their father.
But this whole story still bother me. So a few month later, I decide to try something. I still had the stolen CD barcode and I just decided to add it to their library card, as if they borrowed it. Worst case scenario, they say they don't have it and I apologise and say that it's a mistake from the library. A few days later they arrive, take some documents, return some, and just before leaving I proceed to explain them that they still have a document, a "Puff Daddy CD" that they need to return. The look of panic in their eyes and incomprehension was just delightful. They didn't say anything and a few days later they came back with the CD. I don't really care about Puff Daddy, and we could easily have replaced it, but just for the principle, it was one of my greatest victories.
When You Carry The Evidence With You
Ex girlfriend told me she was going to a "girls only" pool party with some of her fellow waitresses from the restaurant she worked at.
I had felt something weird going on for a bit and had put a lot of effort into making that night a surprise "date night". I worked that morning, while she worked in the evening. While she was at work I cleaned the whole apartment (that we shared), cooked a fancy surf and turf dinner with filet mignon, lobster tails, butter pasta, expensive wine, etc. Also rented a few movies I knew she would like. So when after dinner she suddenly told me she was going to this pool party at around 10 pm and I couldn't come I was pretty exasperated and knew something was not right.
Noticed she was putting her phone face down every time she received a text about this party. While she is putting on her sexiest bikini to wear under her clothes on her way over to this party I decide to look at the phone and it's some dude from her work (under the name Angela in her phone), telling her he can't wait to see her, can't stop thinking about the other night, etc. Scroll down a bit and they even said they loved each other. There's not really a worse feeling in the world when you are in love with someone and they do that to you...
Ew...
My brother is in a stage where hes being super dirty and smelly and not taking showers.
This one time i bought him a deodorant. I started seing it in the same place for a couple days.. then weeks, IN THE SAME PLACE, not moving an inch.
So i opened it and placed a paper inside in a way that if you opened the thing it would fall. A month later one of those days when his smell was super gross i ask him if he has been using it and he says yeah of course. I opened the thing and there it was the paper!!!!!
Lyin' Parents, Lyin' Kids
I work at a daycare. If a child is sick they will be sent home cause we don't want to risk infecting the whole class (generally happens anyway).
A lot parents don't agree with this policy which leads to parents arguing with us that their kid isn't sick when they obviously are.
My favorite time this happen was when a mother dropped her little boy off in an eye patch. Yep the toddler was wearing a d-mn eye patch. I ask what happened and she says he hit his eye or something. Which I didn't really believe.
She says whatever I do don't take off his eye patch. I pick him up and immediately lift up his eye patch.... pink eye. She was sooooo pissed at me for doing that. And she was shocked I did it.
The look on her face was so satisfying. Although I got yelled at by my supervisor for it.
You're Not Going ANYWHERE
A friend of mine was just starting a long road trip to drop his girlfriend off after a trip (6+ hours) and they stopped at a gas station at the start where she ran in to get some snacks and use the restroom but left her phone there.
Up pops a text message from a guy saying something like "You back from your trip yet babe?"
She comes back and he had enough time to compose himself to calmly ask her question after question slowly circling closer to the point where she realizes the jig is up and then he gets to go off on her as she tearfully admits to everything over the next several hours.
I never want to be cheated on, but if I ever had been I wouldn't be opposed to them being a captive audience for several hours.
Just...Why?
Oohhh boy.
So in college I had this friend who was a very good pole vaulter. Seriously, one of the top in the state for his division. This was back in 2008. He tells ALL of his family, and friends, and even his boss that he was recruited to compete in the Beijing olymipcs. Well his close friends, including myself already call bullsh-t but when the "day" comes he is nowhere to be found. In fact, we didnt see him for a couple of days, and he started texting pics from Beijing. So we were doubting ourselves a bit.
Then we were driving along the freeway, and guess whos broken down on the side of the road like 2 days after he left? Mr Olympian! When we pulled over the look on his face was priceless. He stood by his story too, and said because of the time difference he already went and came back.
I still dont know what he had to gain from such an elaborate bullsh-t story.
Catching The Lie When It's YOUR Story
At work one day a co-worker started telling me and another co-worker a story about being stopped by the police.
He went into great detail about how he stopped at a gas station for a drink and there were two cops standing out front and nobody else in the parking lot. He gave the cops a wave, being nice, bought his drink, and left. Less than a hundred feet down the street these same two cops pulled him over. They told him that they smelled weed when he got out of the car. He asked the cops if they could smell it now, standing next to his open window, they said no but it was obvious it came from him. They asked if they could search his car, which he angrily let them, telling them he wanted the cops to climb through his hot car to find nothing. While one cop did the "Search" the other cop told him to calm down, he looked nervous. To which he said "I'm not pissed, I'm angry. You didn't smell weed, you smelled a shaved head and tattoos." The cops found nothing and let him go about his business.
THE LIE:
It was MY story. It happened to ME months before and I told that story at work back then. He even quoted me, except I said "Long hair and tattoos". A few minutes into the story my other co-worker and I start giving each other the side eye, realizing he was literally telling me my own story. I think he realized it towards the end because he quickly finished up the story and left without ever mentioning it again.
We never brought it up either, I had such a bad case of second hand embarrassment for the guy. Plus everybody else already heard about it and he was forever branded the liar.
When Note-Taking Saves The Day!
I had a boss who kept on getting angry at me because, "I wasn't doing what he told me to do."
Finally one day, I decided to start writing down exactly what he told me, dated it, and kept record of it.
Then one day came where inevitably, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"
"Exactly what you told me to do."
"I NEVER TOLD YOU TO DO THAT!"
"Well, I have it written here..." pulls out note card "On 5/22/16 -- you told me specifically to do this task, exactly like this, and never do it any other way."
I finally won. I started standing up for myself a bit more in the office, and I was respected for it.
When You Lie About Cancer...Just, Give It Up
I was 16 and was seeing a girl who I had some doubts about. She would make up the most insignificant lies about stupid sh-t but it wasn't malicious so I let it slide, until things escalated.
Her dad had a friend (John) who had cancer. We went to visit him 200 miles away and he looked really bad, she acted like she didn't give a sh-t. About 2 weeks later we were at a party and she started crying about how John had died and she was absolutely devastated so I comforted her.
About a week after that I went to dinner at her parents and her dad said "I just got off of the phone with John and they're saying he's reacting well with the chemo" Her face dropped, and she couldn't look me in the eye, but I knew I had her, so I finished my dinner and went home. I phoned her later and told her not to call me ever again or I'll tell her dad about her lie. She didn't call again.
I still don't know what happened to poor John
H/T: Reddit