"The One." The soulmate, the true love. That one person we all search for who is out there just waiting to complete us. It's the thing of legends and myths. Finding the one has been a life goal for many since conception. Our parents starting start dreaming about it for us before we drew breath, then we are groomed to hunt this mythical creature. So many times we end up with someone who makes us believe... THIS IS IT! THIS IS THEM! Then 20 minutes later when they've absconded with our savings and your favorite season of Buffy on DVD you learn... "The One" is a damn lie!

Redditor _bate4her2master wanted everyone to admit... *In what moment did you realize that an ex (who you thought would be "the one") was absolutely NOT "the one"? _Jot down some of these red flags people! *


Poor you....

When I told him I had just found out my mom was leaving my dad for someone else, and he started complaining about his day at work. Earth2Monkey

Ugh I have accidentally done much lesser versions of this just trying to relate in conversation. ClementineCarson

Work Trip.

Giphy

One guy I dated wanted to break up after I asked where he had been for a week without answering his phone and said I was being pushy about wanting to get married. A few months later (five) he called to let me know that he was getting married to the lady he had been on a "work trip" with for that week that I couldn't reach him. Merry_Pippins

10 Years too long....

When he made fun of me for a failed suicide attempt to the girl he had a "love child " with (during our marriage) after 10 years of being gaslighted and abused. There's more, but I really don't care to relive any of it. I recently got remarried to my best friend. Evergreenbunny

The Cycle...

We had just booked our wedding venue, and gotten home from a trip across the country meeting with our wedding planner face to face. I thought our life was finally able to "start" after putting things on hold time and again because of finances, grad school hell, and medical issues.

and then he relapsed (alcoholic) for the fifth time. I woke up saturday morning, the day before father's day, to him still black out drunk, having cut himself by accidentally putting his hand through glass. I had a vision in my head of this just happening over and over again, no end in sight- he'd promise to stop drinking and inevitably he'd start again, and the cycle would continue. nothing would ever change.

I spent all morning cleaning up shattered glass while he slept quarantined in the bedroom. Then I went for a walk and called my mom. she booked a flight to come help me move back home. I told him I was done when he sobered up that afternoon. I had already ordered boxes off amazon. we were both heartbroken and there was a lot of crying.

He delayed telling his parents till the next day when we were supposed to skype for father's day. that was one of the most painful experiences of my life. we were together for 8 years, his parents were like my parents at this point- his dad was the dad I'd never had. they were crushed and I still haven't quite gotten over it. Imanemu

byeeeee....

Giphy

When he spent my own money on a prostitute while he was away on a trip.... no thanks byeeee. pizzasteves_sugababy

this kinda happened to a girl I worked with, her fiancée had been away for like 2 days and hadn't been replying. Then upon checking her credit card statements or her online banking or something, she found she'd paid for 2 nights at a hotel in the city we lived in. She went there to figure out who was using her card, sure enough her fiancée is there with another chick. Sucked at work the whole next week. AchondroplasticMonte

Shut Up! 

When he screamed at me for something tiny, then refused to speak to me for three days, all while my mom was visiting from another country. I think the only reason he spoke to me again is because my mom told him she couldn't leave me like this. Nothing was the same after that, and a few months later we broke up. I was scared of him (and I was living in a foreign country) so I didn't break up with him earlier. But I wish I would have. Would have saved me a ton of heartache. thequeenofspace

Thanks Anyway....

Giphy

(gay guy here) When I was paying for all our bills as Ex, of 7 years, was out of work. I had a new job starting. They required I start during the time we would have been on this cruise or I lose the job. Ex says he is going anyways. I stay home to work and support his butt. He gets back cold as ice towards me which is when I figure out he cheated on me on the cruise. Sure enough he leaves an email open on MY computer which is him discussing the cheating with the other dude from the cruise. Yeah I was done that day. Good news is I married the kindest most loving guy years later. Glad the Ex cheated and got me out of that nightmare. TipToeThruLife

"Where's Frank?"

The day I came home from work and she had given away my dog.

"Where's Frank?"

"I gave him to {her coworkers} parents"

She thought that Love was a finite commodity, and if I loved the dog, then that meant that I loved her less. Therefore, if the dog was gone, I loved her more....right? Outlander56

Betrayal. 

When he saw my struggle with depression over the four years we were together and then he cheated on me with the girl from my high school who sent out a mass text message to everyone she knew, and I got about 300 messages and phone calls all telling me that I should kill myself. We were together when that happened. I have never quite gotten over the severity of that betrayal. air_child99

Obsessed!

When her feelings for me became obsessive and manipulative. if i didn't do/buy certain things for her, she would threaten to self-harm. the occasion that comes to mind was the day in which she tried to force me (mind you, we were 16 years old) to purchase her an engagement ring: not to get engaged, but because she "wanted it." gaymato

People Reveal The Moment They Knew Their Ex Wasn't "The One"


YOU AGAIN?

When she came home from work one day and the first thing that popped into my mind was "well, there went my day." Just a normal day, no fight the night before, no stress, just my subconscious finally making himself heard.

TURN OFF THE RADIO...

He had a kid that lived in another state that he only saw a few times a year.

On 4/20 one year, he decided to stay for our city's 4/20 festival instead of go home for his child's birthday. Quote - "Little Man will understand. It's 2 Chainz." Didn't stay with him much longer after that.

IT'S SOBERING!

I stopped drinking and realized how f_**_d up everything was.

DID YOU USE MY FACE?

The biggest moment I remember is the night of my sorority initiation ceremony. I didn't have my phone for a few hours and in response to him not being able to get a hold of me he went and got two sleeve tattoos. They were done in his friend's basement and they looked like it too.

YOU DONE ME & MY MAMA WRONG!

When my mom called me and said that I needed to come to the house (30 min away) because she didn't know how much longer my grandfather was going to make it. She insisted that I let my gf at the time drive me, because she didn't want me driving upset, as I was very close with my pawpaw. Gf agreed... I threw on some shoes and was ready to go. Gf proceeded to get in the shower. And then blow dry and straighten her hair. And then do her make up.

My mother called when we were 15 minutes away and told me that he'd passed. Had we left when we were supposed to, I would've gotten to say good bye.

I CAN SMILE NOW...

When my best friend passed away, 2 days later I decided to finally step outside the house. Went to spent time with her and a friend. When her and I were alone... she turns arounds in the car and say these exact words _"you shouldn't be sad, you're out with us right now. you're bringing the mood down." _That night I decided to end things. She then played the victim card and pretends nothing happened between us. This was just last summer... I'm a lot happier now

CHECK PLEASE...

One of my exes was a stickler about money to the point it felt petty. Every time we went out to eat, even after dating for 2 years, he would flag down the waiter and say, "We need the check split in half. Evenly." If we would spend $5 at the grocery store buying spaghetti and sauce, he would ask me to pay half.

Anyway, my 17 year old cat was dying, and I was heartbroken. The day I said goodbye to her, my ex (then boyfriend) took me out for ice cream. We shared a $5 sundae at Dairy Queen. He paid! I was so happy and touched by the small gesture during the worst day of my life. But then in the car afterwards, he asked me if we should "settle up now or... because, I mean... the sundae was $4.95 and I don't think you gave me any money for it," and I lost it. I threw a $20 at him and cried.

Listen, I don't expect men to foot the bill all the time, and I definitely like to be fair, but buying your long term girlfriend a $5 sundae when she's absolutely distraught is not unreasonable.

CAN I WATCH?

When she's like,"Sooooo.... turns out I like girls instead." Welp no need to drag that one out any longer.

COUNT THE PILLS!!

When I overheard her conversation with her coworker wherein they were talking about her co-worker's desire for children while her husband wanted to wait. My ex gave the advice of, "if I were in your shoes, I'd just stop taking my birth control and not tell him."

I got the hell out of dodge fast!

CHEERS TO THE HAPPY COUPLE...

When she told me she needed a few weeks to herself to"figure things out." What she was actually doing was planning her wedding to a guy she met at work.

KARMA IS COMING FOR YOU HONEY!

I was living on the West Coast and her birthday was coming up the next weekend. Call came on Wednesday that Grandma was in the hospital and had 24-72 hrs at best. I immediately called work and let them know I will be out Thursday and Friday and maybe some days next week. Bought a one way plane ticket and called my girlfriend who seemed understanding.

I get back to the Midwest and got to the hospital in time to see Grandma, she died that night. I was asked to write the eulogy. Checked in with my GF and she asked if our plans for her birthday were going to be affected. Erm, yes honey, the funeral isn't until Monday. I'll be back Tuesday. She hung up on me.

She picked me up from the airport and didn't even get out of the car to embrace me. The drive home felt like ice water was in my veins. I was so in love and was writing off the red flags.

Two weeks later, it was my birthday. I knew things were on the outs and was preparing to breakup but she invited me out for my birthday dinner. I show up at our favorite place and wait 45 minutes at the bar for her to arrive. She texted me a picture of her and her girlfriends out at a concert asking how I liked being ditched on my birthday.

Tears streaming down my cheeks the car ride home I calmly packed up her stuff, let myself into her place with my key and left her belongings on the floor along with the key on top and locked the door behind me on the way out. Blocked her number on my phone and social media. And changed the locks the next day at my place. The next weekend I am watching tv and it's late. She tries the door and I hear her key trying to work the lock. She's sobbing outside my place, I just poured a stiff bourbon and turned up the volume on the tv until she left.

What a waste of a year. Looking back I can't imagine how I put up with her selfish act that long, life is too short to deal with people like that.

RUN. AND KEEP RUNNING!

When he left. I was in an abusive relationship and didn't know it, my mom supported him. He plays the victim to everyone now saying I was abusive. He would pour drinks on my head when I made him mad or he would slap me, along with more.

LET'S BE "FRIENDS!"

When I stopped by her house on the way to work to drop off flowers on her doorstep as a surprise and saw my"friend's" car parked out front. (This was at 5 in the morning.) my "friend" was married with a pregnant wife at the time.

IT'S ABOUT ME!!!

When she complained about visiting my father in the hospital (he had a mini stroke), and demanded we get back to my house to watch a movie and cuddle.

Kicked her to the curb about three months later.

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

When we were having the "should we stay together and work it out or go our separate ways" discussion and he said he didn't want me to go. I asked him why.

His answer was a full minute of silence staring at the table, completely at a loss for what to say. He couldn't come up with any reason why he wanted me to stay.

That silence said more than a million words ever could.

I'M FAKING OTHER THINGS SWEETIE...

When she made jokes about me "faking" my depression. My dad has severe depression (gets help and takes meds for it) and his brother had it until he killed himself.

DISCONNECT!

He didn't turn up to my brother's deathbed when he said he would, his exact words 'I'll get a shower and be there soon.' He then ignored my phone calls for hours and didn't show up. He didn't go to his wake or funeral, the very least he could have done. This was after 8 years together and now even the worst day of my family's life has been tainted in my head by a selfish man.

OH HELL NO!

My dog attacked someone, I was told it was her daughters friend when I wasn't home and I had to put him down for being vicious. Come to find out he attacked the dude she was cheating on me with...

IS THIS GENERAL HOSPITAL?

When he faked his death for almost 2 years just to stop talking to me because he found a new girl who lived near him. We lived in different countries for a while and his best friend made sure the lie was convincing. It made me depressed for months and flipped my personality from a happy cheerful person to a very"closed" and a less expressive. I found out one day when he sent me an email by mistake and I ended up talking to him. After all that I asked his friend how he was doing and he said he was dead. When I told him I've talked to him he said "IT'S A MIRACLE."

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