
People Reveal The Moment In Their Lives Where Everything Really Changed
[rebelmouse-image 18355060 is_animated_gif=Life has ebbs and flows. The roller coaster doesn't stop for any of us--but for some of us, it significantly changes. A significant life event can alter the course of our personal growth and maturity. We might not even know who we were at one point, before that thing. It defines us.
SaviorNegan, looking to gather more intel on what that event might be for people, asked:
What moment created the divide between your "B.C." and "A.D." parts in your life?
Here were some of the answers.
A Hurricane Of Events
[rebelmouse-image 18355061 is_animated_gif=i'm from New Orleans, so everything is Before Katrina or After Katrina.
Quality Down
[rebelmouse-image 18355062 is_animated_gif=Having a femoral osteotomy. I went from being able to walk (albeit painfully), drive, do normal things. Had the surgery solely to improve my quality of life but it did the exact opposite. Something went wrong with my nerves and 15 months later, I'm left in constant agony. I can't walk, drive, do basic functions like bend my knee etc. It's the worst decision I've ever made.
Grief Shapes Us
[rebelmouse-image 18355063 is_animated_gif=Before mom died and after mom died. I was 18. It really shapes your life when you're forced to be on your own so young and face such an emotional roller coaster that never ends.
Before China
[rebelmouse-image 18355065 is_animated_gif=I came to China 12 years ago on holiday and am still here, so that's my B.C.
It would be perfect if I were from Denmark.
A New World
[rebelmouse-image 18355066 is_animated_gif=So this is super embarrassing as it was 10 years ago, but before and after my long time girlfriend in high school. This happened right around graduation - I really had no direction in life until she left me (rightly so) and I realized I need to put some effort into myself if I wanted to get anywhere. My thought process and actions seemed to do a complete 180 around that time.
I still don't know if this is a healthy thought process however, and am debating talking to a counselor about this.
Dividing Day
[rebelmouse-image 18354016 is_animated_gif=My sister dying.
Before, my family were close and happy and talked to each other all the time.
20 years on, we're still a fractured mess.
Carpe Diem
[rebelmouse-image 18355067 is_animated_gif=Going through cancer, without question. I'm one of the lucky ones though - my cancer was the very treatable kind, I'm fine now, and about a thousand times more motivated than I was before cancer. Facing mortality really shifted my perspective.
No Time
[rebelmouse-image 18355069 is_animated_gif=Not my daughter's birth, but her diagnosis of a brain tumor two month later. There was no preparation or warning, just BAM baby cancer. She survived the surgeries and treatment and is doing well several years later, but I will never be the same.
The Things We Do For Others
[rebelmouse-image 18355070 is_animated_gif=An 80 year old customer that came in to my place of work. He has no idea his impact.
I was in an emotionally abusive relationship at the time. A bit of backstory: my now ex would get irate if he heard I talked with my male coworkers even about work/training. I wasn't allowed to see my friends and the one time I forced it he texted/called the whole time.
This older gentleman came in just beaming and high on life. He joked and chatted with me and was genuinely the happiest person I've ever encountered. Mid-conversation his wife pops her head in the office door and cheerily mentions that she ran in to her old friend and they were going to have coffee. Somehow he seemed even happier than he previously was and told his wife how marvellous it was that they bumped in to each other, to say hi to the friend, and to take their time.
At that moment I realized I'd never have that if something didn't change. It's been the hardest two years of my life but I got out of that relationship. I had to/chose to move 3000kms to get away from the stalking and the fear but its done and I'm slowly getting myself back. That man saved me from a terrible life and I can't even thank him.
Some New Ideas
[rebelmouse-image 18355071 is_animated_gif=A.D for me is After Divorce. Got married too young, divorced at 26, basically had to rebuild my life. Now very happy :-)
A Change In Me
[rebelmouse-image 18355072 is_animated_gif=I was going to be a fighter pilot in the US Navy. I was very disciplined, attended Civil Air Patrol, applied myself to school, competed at the national level in both swimming and martial arts, went for the whole congressional sponsorship to the military academies, the works. One day right before graduating high school, I was doing a "rowing" motion with those rubber workout bands, and it rolled off the toe of my shoe snapped me in the face. Turns out my retina came partially detached, it caused swelling and bleeding inside my eye, and permanent damage to my optic nerve. The injury disqualified me From any sort of flight program and my life's dream.
Now I'm an artist. Mostly video and cinematography.
I'm really happy with how my life turned out. I love doing what I do. I never would have met my beautiful wife, never would have got the amazing job I have, or met the amazing people in my life. For those who wanted to be a pilot but weren't able, I highly suggest getting into flying drones. It's a huge part of my life as a cinematographer and it's filled a part of my life that I thought I was going to miss out on.
Commitment Appreciation
[rebelmouse-image 18350607 is_animated_gif=My second marriage, but I honestly feel like I'm in my "3rd age" now. We've been married for almost 15 years, but it's only been the last 5 or so that I realized what I really have. I've always appreciated, loved and cared for her, but it's a whole new level now. I had always engaged in joking around about the ball and chain and was generally a lot more negative when speaking about my marriage around friends. The 3rd age began one day when a coworker told me how his marriage changed his life for the better and for some reason it was like a slap in the face. Now I tell anyone who'll listen how wonderful my wife is. I probably overdo it sometimes, but it has honestly made me appreciate her more and more. It's a simple change of mindset, but it has been profound for me.
The New Longing
[rebelmouse-image 18355073 is_animated_gif=The time I realized I should stop sitting silently in the corner and get a social life.
Unimaginable
[rebelmouse-image 18355074 is_animated_gif=Before quitting hard drugs and after.
The Health Changement
[rebelmouse-image 18355075 is_animated_gif=Before weight loss. After weight loss.
The difference in quality of life after losing 100lb is almost indescribable.
Children Will Listen
[rebelmouse-image 18355076 is_animated_gif=Adopting my daughter.
I was a little older than most folks at 35. If you are looking for some kind of personal "Aha" moment, it didn't happen for a few months after we returned from China with our daughter. When we first got our daughter, it was more of a "Holy sh-t, what do I do now?" type of reaction. And that held for...well I'll let you know.
(*Pro-Tip on Parenting - It gets easier when you realize that no parents know what the f-ck they are doing. Do your best and try not to be a shitty person. What works in life works for parenting. Go figure.)
Ok so where was my watershed moment? I remember it vividly. I was driving and my daughter was in her carseat in the back. It had been a few months because I had finally gotten past the "I better check on her every few minutes because she might die on me and my wife will be super pissed" stage. I was in line to join a highway. My lane is single and due to the number of cars there is a long line that is moving semi slowly. Of course there is a way to move ahead of the line and make an illegal turn so you can bypass about 20 cars to still wait in line. Of course when I am getting onto the onramp, this is just what some a--hole decides to do. And of course he doesn't merge into the traffic, he just guns it and swerves onto the shoulder to jump in front of me. (Disclaimer - I may have a tiny bit of a problem with road rage.) This makes me see red and I gun it to catch up with the prick. So I do the same thing. I gun it and swerve around him onto the highway flipping him off. So here I am going 85mph down a highway on ramp swerving around a car because I am just raging. I look in my rearview mirror to see what a--hole is going to do and what do I see? My daughter just sitting there in her car seat all smiling and unaware just how much danger her father put her in because of his temper.
MOMENT OF CLARITY - I can still feel the same emotions that hit me at the time. Mostly a "what are you doing?" feeling. My daughter needed me to be better. She is totally dependent on me. I can't act like the same a--hole that I have been.
That's my AD moment. Don't get me wrong. I still rage in my car and in my head as my daughter can attest to. But I now limit myself to just cursing other drivers under my breath. I realized that my actions now directly affect another person who is entirely dependent on me to make good decisions. That was a heavy feeling. I'm glad it happened and that nothing worse did to make me realize I needed to change.
A Bad Weld
[rebelmouse-image 18355077 is_animated_gif=14 February 1998.
A Saturday. I was at work, voluntarily getting more overtime at the local shipyard.
The work day had just started, and I was working on my first project, fitting a small bulkhead to a deck plate. I was just an apprentice fitter, and was working with a 1st classer, with 15 years of experience.
He was using the crane to place several bulkheads, and bracing them off with a single piece of steel, and I was to come along behind as he did that, and fitting them to their correct places, and do partial welding to hold them in place, so the actual welders could come and "do it up right."
Except, I didn't check the brace's welds before starting to work, and it was a bad weld.
It broke, and 650 pounds of steel went from vertical, to horizontal. Right on top of me.
Broke my pelvis into 3 separate pieces, as well as a hairline fracture of my L2 vertebra in my back.
I never lost consciousness. I can remember -EVERYTHING- from the bulkhead shifting, while I was looking at the chalkline that it was supposed to be on, then shifting AGAIN, and then noticing it tilting towards me.
I remember instinctively putting my arms up to try to stop it. Yeah. That worked. NOT.
I remember just curling into a ball when I gave up trying to stop it.
I remember the pain of the impact just shooting through every inch of my body, like lightning.
I remember telling a coworker that if he tried to lift it off me, and dropped it again, that I was going to "beat the f-ck out of you when I get up! get the f-cking crane you idiot!"
I remember telling the paramedics that if they cut my brand new Wolverine work boots, that I was gonna kick their a--es.
Adrenaline is a hell of a thing.
I spent a month in the hospital, pretty much in the bed. I lost 50-ish pounds in that bed. I was a well-built 195 pound 6 foot tall man when I got hurt. I was a 140 pound weakling once I was able to move on my own again.
The orthopedic I was seeing recommended six months of bed rest.
I spent 2-3 weeks in a wheelchair, and then another week or so needing a walker to get around.
April 28th is the day I took my first steps WITHOUT a walker.
Six months bed rest, MY A--!
That was a life-changer. My life was never the same, since.
I've had other milestones since, married my wife in 2003 (in fact, 5 days from now is my anniversary!), my daughter was born in 2007.
But that accident on Valentine's Day of 1998? Nothing else in my life compares.
2014: An Odyssey
[rebelmouse-image 18355078 is_animated_gif=Hilariously, I was diagnosed with Cancer and got Divorced in the same year. The papers came through somewhere around my third or fourth round of chemo.
So, f-ck 2014, which marks both my B.C. and A.D. But also getting through that year is the best thing that's ever happened to me and I wouldn't change a thing. Man, I'm doing amazing now.
Near Life Experience
[rebelmouse-image 18355079 is_animated_gif=You know, my first thought was to say my time in Iraq was my before and after time but honestly it was the first time I did shrooms. I was 32 when I did them and I had been dealing with depression since I left the military in 2004. I was on a canoe camping trip with friends in the boundary waters and one night out of the blue, one of the guys says he brought us a little treat. I was terrified. Alcohol was my poison of choice. I declined to do them the first night he offered. While my friends went out on a rock in the middle of the night to enjoy the night with their "treat" I sat alone in my hammock tent having a panic attack at the thought of doing something stupid. Then, on the last night, my friend offered to do them again. I said no but he assured me that I was in a good place surrounded by friends.
I remember an immediate internal breakdown as soon as I put them down. But I sat there on a downed tree... around friends but terrified. About 45 minutes in I started to feel nauseous and my mind was saying, "well that's it a--hole..." Then I felt a vibration. It was like I was vibrating at one frequency and the world was at another frequency and we were trying to sync up.... like turning that old tracking knob on them old VCR's the fuzz went away and everything was clear. Buy clear I mean CLEAR... like the first time I watched a documentary in HD and I could see every snowflake clear. My anxiety was replaced by wonder. A wonder I haven't felt since I was a little kid and the proportions of the world weren't built for someone my size so everything was so odd and interesting. My friend came over and handed me glow sticks and that plastic sand that never dries out. I was amazed how new everything looked. Then I got tired. And I went to sleep. That's when mother mush really did her work. At that point in my life I had remained single for the better part of a decade because I thought I was damaged goods. I wasn't worth the hassle of a relationship. I was in one right after I got out of the military and I didn't want to do that to a person again. I was without hope. That night after I went to bed, I dreamed of every first kiss I had ever had. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach and the excitement of a first kiss. There is nothing quite like it. And I could play it over and over again... not quite like a time Machine but like I was a 4 dimensional being. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it. I was 32 years old. I gave up on a lot of things in life. Just a few months prior I had to be taken to a hospital in an ambulance due to a panic attack. But there I was, as giddy as a pig in sh-t dreaming about the thrill of a first kiss. And ya know what? That thrill never went away. I have been living life ever since. Free of fear. Free of anger. Free of anxiety. I feel "connected" with something bigger then me. I got married to an amazing girl last year. I'm finishing up my graduate degree in architecture in a couple of months.
Advancements in science happen every day in every way.
But often it feels like we are still so far behind.
How have we not cured so many diseases?
Shouldn't we know more about space?
What is Jello really made of?
So much to ponder and understand.
Maybe one day.
We all have a bucket list of what we'd like to see cured or invented before our last breaths.
Let's discuss...
Redditor yoda2060wanted to discuss all the science that needs to be devoured before the sand runs out of the hourglass. They asked:
"What scientific achievement you would like to see before you die?"
Life is infinite and we'll never know everything that is possible. But let's dream of what could be...
New pieces...
"I want to see us grow hearts, kidneys, livers, etc... In labs and end the need for donations and waiting lists for transplants."
IMadeThisBullS*itUp
"I waited for a heart/bilateral lung transplant for over a year and I spent 8 months living in the hospital waiting for it. You’re basically waiting for someone to die."
"Which feels all kinds of wrong… but my therapist (all transplant patients sees a transplant therapist) kept reminding me that me needing a heart and lungs doesn’t cause someone to die…"
"And what made even harder was that my mom died of Covid about 5 weeks before my transplant happened. So while I was praying and hoping so hard my mom wouldn’t die… I was also praying for my transplant to happen. I had a lot of mixed and confusing feelings. My transplant happened last November."
Junebug1515
"Idiot Bottom Line"
"To build an environment friendly world."
deadprotocol_
"That depends entirely on how far you want to go with 'environmentally friendly.' Some amateurish pseudo-intellectuals will say that humanity itself is devastating the planet by it's very existence so we'll call that the 'Idiot Bottom Line."'
"So you have to find an acceptable level above that to declare environmentally friendly. For example can we still have hear exchangers? Space debris? Artificial Electromagnetic radiation? There has to be a level before you can declare such and so far no one agrees."
PoorPDOP86
“20 years, tops”
"Viable nuclear fusion."
AlterEdward
"Nuclear Astrophysicist here. I know the joke is that we been saying '20 years, tops' for 50 years now - who do you think came up with that joke? But seriously, we are really close."
"We need a reaction that is self-sustaining and puts out more energy than we put in. We can easily do a reaction that’s one or the other, just getting one that’s both is hard. And with recent updates to the Greenwald limit we found some relatively minor tweaks that doubles previous theoretical max output."
Gleeful-Nihilist
Deep Within
"Figuring out what Dark Matter is, solving the mysteries of black holes. Proper thorough investigation of our own oceans."
fIumpf
So far, so interesting. We have so much to learn.
let me dream...
"Prosthetic limbs and organs that can work just as well as real ones. Affordably too. A cure for total nerve damage. Carbon neutral liquid fuel. FTL travel (let me dream)."
idonthaveanaccountA
Contact
"Making contact with another intelligent species in another solar system."
Pigs100
"That's probably not going to happen. I'd be overjoyed though if we discovered even just microbial life in the oceans of Europa or Enceladus. They'd be the first true extra-terrestrials ever encountered."
Cybyss
Going Places
"If we had teleports then we might also have other technologies integrated with it like instant dental work, instant food, instant surgery, things just unthinkable without the technology but before the steam engine travel was by horse so they could not imagine traveling cross country in any other way besides ships. Maybe with teleports we wouldn't need energy, just an infinite loop of the first spark."
Stickerdan
Sickness be gone...
"Cure for all cancer forms."
Kal-El1994
"I approached a nursing assistant with the question. They could describe it as trying to go after the stick of a lollipop. The treatments are mostly concerned with favors, not sticks. If they can discover a way to deal with the stick, then you may be able to treat cancer from there."
MissSara101
"I think it is important to add that there won’t be ONE cure to all cancers. Cancer is such a broad spectrum of diseases that sometimes have next to nothing in common. But hopefully we will keep getting the survival rates up with different medications for different cancer types."
TastyConsideration82
Simplicity
"Solve back pain please. We can do crazy sh*t like nuclear bombs, new fancy vaccines and space exploration, yet we don't have a solution to one of the biggest and most common ailments that existed though all of humanity."
inksane
I want to see all of this happen! Fingers crossed.
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Fast fashion is terrible for the environment, one of the largest polluters of clean water globally because of its all too common use of cheap, toxic textile dyes.
It also places producers under more and more pressure to manufacture more and more clothes on masse–the people working in the factories that make this stuff are being paid a pittance, contributing to much of the wealth inequality in less developed nations.
Additionally, it's estimated that the textiles industry produces 1.2 billion tonnes of CO2 per year and that just two percent of all fast fashion emissions can be reduced through recycling. Ouch. Time to change habits, right?
People shared their thoughts on this and other topics after Redditor urmomsucked asked the online community,
"What should people seriously stop buying?"
"Pets..."
"Pets they can’t take care of."
WonderfulShop888
I have known several people who got puppies, decided they couldn't handle them, and dumped them. It's rage-inducing.
"Nestle products."
"Nestle products. Literally the most evil company currently in business. Unfortunately it's really hard to tell what brands they own."
I_used_to_be_hip
Nestle is responsible for the deaths of babies in undeveloped nations. It's sick.
"Designer clothes..."
"Designer clothes and accessories with logos slapped all over them. It wastes your money and makes you look idiotic."
Botryoild2000
The funny thing is, the designer clothes/accessories with logos slapped all over them are typically the cheapest options from said designer.
"Simple syrup."
"Simple syrup. It’s sugar water with an $8 price tag."
providentialchief
It's easy enough to make your own. Your iced tea will never be the same again.
"Cheap belts."
"Cheap belts. A quality leather belt will last you decades."
[deleted]
I have a few (quality leather belts, that is) and they've lasted for years and years. Can confirm.
"Cigarettes."
"Cigarettes. To anyone reading this, please just don't start even if it's out of curiosity. I'm 20 years deep into this and it's hell."
SeaSwimmer5386
Smoking is a brutal addiction to break. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently proposed rules prohibiting menthol cigarettes and flavored cigars to stop young people from picking up the habit.
"Garment workers..."
"Fast fashion. Garment workers get paid s*it, the environment suffers and you look like everybody else on the street with no personality or sense of individualism."
SenoritaBrownRecluse
This should be up at the top. The environmental impact is terrible.
"Unnecessarily large vehicles..."
"Unnecessarily large vehicles, which they'll then inevitably complain cost too much to fill the gas tank."
[deleted]
Gas guzzlers need to go. It's far past time that they be phased out.
"Anything advertised..."
"Anything advertised on Instagram. It’s a scam and those influencers are just making it look cheap AF."
megapintt
Or just avoid Instagram in general. That would solve a lot.
"New phones..."
"New phones when their current is just as good."
[deleted]
You've got that right. People buy a new one for the hell of it without even thinking about it.
It's pretty clear that many of us need to change our habits now. Our wallets will thank us later.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
If you make too many funny faces, your face will stay that way permanently.
Watch too much tv and your eyes will fall out.
Break a mirror and it's seven years of bad luck.
These are among the many myths and superstitions we heard as children, more often than not from our parents and teachers as a way of scaring us into behaving.
But while there is not one ounce of truth to any of these tall tales, there are many who still believe them, and many more.
Redditor RedditPersonIf was curious to learn what superstitions people continue to believe are true, leading them to ask:
"What myths are obviously false, yet most people still believe they are true?"
When they fly the coop...
"If you take care of a baby bird, the mother won’t want it anymore because it’ll smell like a human."- GreatXs
No amount of fiber can help you
"If you swallow gum, it'll stay in your digestive tract for 7 years."- stinky_cheese33
It was every other subjects he had trouble with
"Albert Einstein failed math in school."- Nothingreallyend
Though it does make shampooing easier
"Shaving your hair will make the hair grow back thicker.'- RunWithScissorsss
Sleep with your mouth closed
"The amount of spiders you eat while being asleep."- pantsofafatman
Just... No...
"That you are supposed to pee on a jellyfish sting to ease the pain."- Actuaryba
Olé
"Bulls not liking the color red."
"Bulls are partially color blind and can only see yellow, green, blue, and violet."- Rogurzz
Call a Lyft instead
"Coffee, speed, and uppers sober you up."
"Nope!"
"Too drunk to drive?"
"Now you're drunk AND on drugs, you just don't feel the effects of the booze but your motor skills, reaction time and decision making are all still drunk AF."- kirkrjordan
Best let nature run its course
"The damn alpha wolf."
"It was one study under captivity, the poor researcher made it his life's work to try and set it right."
"If you want a brutal hierarchy where everyone pecks down, what you're looking for is chickens."- raxeira-etterath
Give this one some thought
"We can only use 10% of our brain."- UnbearableHuman
A little bit of research will clear up any doubt you have on these old superstitions and beliefs.
And for anyone who helped out a friend who got stung by a jellyfish, no need to be embarrassed.
Who hasn't looked at a scarf someone knitted for a loved one, a flawless homemade birthday cake, or an immaculately planted garden and thought, "I wish I could do that"?
But you'd never dare try to attempt it yourself, knowing that it's well beyond your personal skill set.
But is it?
Intimidating as they may seem, some skills might be deceptively easier than they appear to be, or might come more naturally to you than to many others.
Redditor halfmoon599 was curious to hear what skills people believed to be much easier than they seem, leading them to ask:
"What skill is actually easier to learn than what other people think?"
Everyone can be ambidextrous!
"I'm left handed and and I wanted to learn to write with my right hand."
"it was much easier than I thought and now I can write with it making it look somewhat decent."- JE3V4N_
"Using your off hand skillfully."
"I worked on this when I owned a woodworking business and it has helped so many times over the years."- karg_the_fergus
Should you ever forget your keys...
"Picking a lock."
"It only takes about 1 or 2 hours to learn, contrary to popular belief." - DifficultAd5113
Can't get to the genius stand? No problem!
"Fixing computers."
"It's just a lot of googling and YouTubing."- theassassintherapist
"Basic IT troubleshooting."- usmarine7041
You'll have a blanket done in no time!
"Crocheting!"
"It looked really difficult to me but I was really pleased how easy it was to pick up."
"Especially with YouTube tutorials."- geeltulpen
But do get a license first...
"Flying a small airplane is actually very simple."
"It's everything else like weather and flight planning, emergency mindfulness, airspace and traffic, and confidence in yourself that gets tricky, but any person with eyeballs and a pulse could fly a plane."- Clyde-MacTavish
With practice, of course
"Parallel parking."- Feels2old
Give your arms a rest!
"Unicycling."
"It takes just 10-20 minutes a day for 3-10 days.'
"Find a railing you can lean on to start."
"At some point, you'll be able to let go and ride!'- Vegan_BTW_VR
... Is it though?...
"Driving a stick shift."- fantazja1
Next time you think, "aw, I wish I could do that," rather than keep wishing, why not just give it a try?