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People Reveal The Moment In Their Lives Where Everything Really Changed

People Reveal The Moment In Their Lives Where Everything Really Changed

People Reveal The Moment In Their Lives Where Everything Really Changed

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Life has ebbs and flows. The roller coaster doesn't stop for any of us--but for some of us, it significantly changes. A significant life event can alter the course of our personal growth and maturity. We might not even know who we were at one point, before that thing. It defines us.

SaviorNegan, looking to gather more intel on what that event might be for people, asked:

What moment created the divide between your "B.C." and "A.D." parts in your life?

Here were some of the answers.

A Hurricane Of Events

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i'm from New Orleans, so everything is Before Katrina or After Katrina.

Quality Down

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Having a femoral osteotomy. I went from being able to walk (albeit painfully), drive, do normal things. Had the surgery solely to improve my quality of life but it did the exact opposite. Something went wrong with my nerves and 15 months later, I'm left in constant agony. I can't walk, drive, do basic functions like bend my knee etc. It's the worst decision I've ever made.

Grief Shapes Us

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Before mom died and after mom died. I was 18. It really shapes your life when you're forced to be on your own so young and face such an emotional roller coaster that never ends.

Before China

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I came to China 12 years ago on holiday and am still here, so that's my B.C.

It would be perfect if I were from Denmark.

A New World

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So this is super embarrassing as it was 10 years ago, but before and after my long time girlfriend in high school. This happened right around graduation - I really had no direction in life until she left me (rightly so) and I realized I need to put some effort into myself if I wanted to get anywhere. My thought process and actions seemed to do a complete 180 around that time.

I still don't know if this is a healthy thought process however, and am debating talking to a counselor about this.

Dividing Day

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My sister dying.

Before, my family were close and happy and talked to each other all the time.

20 years on, we're still a fractured mess.

Carpe Diem

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Going through cancer, without question. I'm one of the lucky ones though - my cancer was the very treatable kind, I'm fine now, and about a thousand times more motivated than I was before cancer. Facing mortality really shifted my perspective.

No Time

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Not my daughter's birth, but her diagnosis of a brain tumor two month later. There was no preparation or warning, just BAM baby cancer. She survived the surgeries and treatment and is doing well several years later, but I will never be the same.

The Things We Do For Others

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An 80 year old customer that came in to my place of work. He has no idea his impact.

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship at the time. A bit of backstory: my now ex would get irate if he heard I talked with my male coworkers even about work/training. I wasn't allowed to see my friends and the one time I forced it he texted/called the whole time.

This older gentleman came in just beaming and high on life. He joked and chatted with me and was genuinely the happiest person I've ever encountered. Mid-conversation his wife pops her head in the office door and cheerily mentions that she ran in to her old friend and they were going to have coffee. Somehow he seemed even happier than he previously was and told his wife how marvellous it was that they bumped in to each other, to say hi to the friend, and to take their time.

At that moment I realized I'd never have that if something didn't change. It's been the hardest two years of my life but I got out of that relationship. I had to/chose to move 3000kms to get away from the stalking and the fear but its done and I'm slowly getting myself back. That man saved me from a terrible life and I can't even thank him.

Some New Ideas

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A.D for me is After Divorce. Got married too young, divorced at 26, basically had to rebuild my life. Now very happy :-)

A Change In Me

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I was going to be a fighter pilot in the US Navy. I was very disciplined, attended Civil Air Patrol, applied myself to school, competed at the national level in both swimming and martial arts, went for the whole congressional sponsorship to the military academies, the works. One day right before graduating high school, I was doing a "rowing" motion with those rubber workout bands, and it rolled off the toe of my shoe snapped me in the face. Turns out my retina came partially detached, it caused swelling and bleeding inside my eye, and permanent damage to my optic nerve. The injury disqualified me From any sort of flight program and my life's dream.

Now I'm an artist. Mostly video and cinematography.

I'm really happy with how my life turned out. I love doing what I do. I never would have met my beautiful wife, never would have got the amazing job I have, or met the amazing people in my life. For those who wanted to be a pilot but weren't able, I highly suggest getting into flying drones. It's a huge part of my life as a cinematographer and it's filled a part of my life that I thought I was going to miss out on.

Commitment Appreciation

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My second marriage, but I honestly feel like I'm in my "3rd age" now. We've been married for almost 15 years, but it's only been the last 5 or so that I realized what I really have. I've always appreciated, loved and cared for her, but it's a whole new level now. I had always engaged in joking around about the ball and chain and was generally a lot more negative when speaking about my marriage around friends. The 3rd age began one day when a coworker told me how his marriage changed his life for the better and for some reason it was like a slap in the face. Now I tell anyone who'll listen how wonderful my wife is. I probably overdo it sometimes, but it has honestly made me appreciate her more and more. It's a simple change of mindset, but it has been profound for me.

The New Longing

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The time I realized I should stop sitting silently in the corner and get a social life.

Unimaginable

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Before quitting hard drugs and after.

The Health Changement

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Before weight loss. After weight loss.

The difference in quality of life after losing 100lb is almost indescribable.

Children Will Listen

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Adopting my daughter.

I was a little older than most folks at 35. If you are looking for some kind of personal "Aha" moment, it didn't happen for a few months after we returned from China with our daughter. When we first got our daughter, it was more of a "Holy sh-t, what do I do now?" type of reaction. And that held for...well I'll let you know.

(*Pro-Tip on Parenting - It gets easier when you realize that no parents know what the f-ck they are doing. Do your best and try not to be a shitty person. What works in life works for parenting. Go figure.)

Ok so where was my watershed moment? I remember it vividly. I was driving and my daughter was in her carseat in the back. It had been a few months because I had finally gotten past the "I better check on her every few minutes because she might die on me and my wife will be super pissed" stage. I was in line to join a highway. My lane is single and due to the number of cars there is a long line that is moving semi slowly. Of course there is a way to move ahead of the line and make an illegal turn so you can bypass about 20 cars to still wait in line. Of course when I am getting onto the onramp, this is just what some a--hole decides to do. And of course he doesn't merge into the traffic, he just guns it and swerves onto the shoulder to jump in front of me. (Disclaimer - I may have a tiny bit of a problem with road rage.) This makes me see red and I gun it to catch up with the prick. So I do the same thing. I gun it and swerve around him onto the highway flipping him off. So here I am going 85mph down a highway on ramp swerving around a car because I am just raging. I look in my rearview mirror to see what a--hole is going to do and what do I see? My daughter just sitting there in her car seat all smiling and unaware just how much danger her father put her in because of his temper.

MOMENT OF CLARITY - I can still feel the same emotions that hit me at the time. Mostly a "what are you doing?" feeling. My daughter needed me to be better. She is totally dependent on me. I can't act like the same a--hole that I have been.

That's my AD moment. Don't get me wrong. I still rage in my car and in my head as my daughter can attest to. But I now limit myself to just cursing other drivers under my breath. I realized that my actions now directly affect another person who is entirely dependent on me to make good decisions. That was a heavy feeling. I'm glad it happened and that nothing worse did to make me realize I needed to change.

A Bad Weld

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14 February 1998.

A Saturday. I was at work, voluntarily getting more overtime at the local shipyard.

The work day had just started, and I was working on my first project, fitting a small bulkhead to a deck plate. I was just an apprentice fitter, and was working with a 1st classer, with 15 years of experience.

He was using the crane to place several bulkheads, and bracing them off with a single piece of steel, and I was to come along behind as he did that, and fitting them to their correct places, and do partial welding to hold them in place, so the actual welders could come and "do it up right."

Except, I didn't check the brace's welds before starting to work, and it was a bad weld.

It broke, and 650 pounds of steel went from vertical, to horizontal. Right on top of me.

Broke my pelvis into 3 separate pieces, as well as a hairline fracture of my L2 vertebra in my back.

I never lost consciousness. I can remember -EVERYTHING- from the bulkhead shifting, while I was looking at the chalkline that it was supposed to be on, then shifting AGAIN, and then noticing it tilting towards me.

I remember instinctively putting my arms up to try to stop it. Yeah. That worked. NOT.

I remember just curling into a ball when I gave up trying to stop it.

I remember the pain of the impact just shooting through every inch of my body, like lightning.

I remember telling a coworker that if he tried to lift it off me, and dropped it again, that I was going to "beat the f-ck out of you when I get up! get the f-cking crane you idiot!"

I remember telling the paramedics that if they cut my brand new Wolverine work boots, that I was gonna kick their a--es.

Adrenaline is a hell of a thing.

I spent a month in the hospital, pretty much in the bed. I lost 50-ish pounds in that bed. I was a well-built 195 pound 6 foot tall man when I got hurt. I was a 140 pound weakling once I was able to move on my own again.

The orthopedic I was seeing recommended six months of bed rest.

I spent 2-3 weeks in a wheelchair, and then another week or so needing a walker to get around.

April 28th is the day I took my first steps WITHOUT a walker.

Six months bed rest, MY A--!

That was a life-changer. My life was never the same, since.

I've had other milestones since, married my wife in 2003 (in fact, 5 days from now is my anniversary!), my daughter was born in 2007.

But that accident on Valentine's Day of 1998? Nothing else in my life compares.

2014: An Odyssey

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Hilariously, I was diagnosed with Cancer and got Divorced in the same year. The papers came through somewhere around my third or fourth round of chemo.

So, f-ck 2014, which marks both my B.C. and A.D. But also getting through that year is the best thing that's ever happened to me and I wouldn't change a thing. Man, I'm doing amazing now.

Near Life Experience

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You know, my first thought was to say my time in Iraq was my before and after time but honestly it was the first time I did shrooms. I was 32 when I did them and I had been dealing with depression since I left the military in 2004. I was on a canoe camping trip with friends in the boundary waters and one night out of the blue, one of the guys says he brought us a little treat. I was terrified. Alcohol was my poison of choice. I declined to do them the first night he offered. While my friends went out on a rock in the middle of the night to enjoy the night with their "treat" I sat alone in my hammock tent having a panic attack at the thought of doing something stupid. Then, on the last night, my friend offered to do them again. I said no but he assured me that I was in a good place surrounded by friends.

I remember an immediate internal breakdown as soon as I put them down. But I sat there on a downed tree... around friends but terrified. About 45 minutes in I started to feel nauseous and my mind was saying, "well that's it a--hole..." Then I felt a vibration. It was like I was vibrating at one frequency and the world was at another frequency and we were trying to sync up.... like turning that old tracking knob on them old VCR's the fuzz went away and everything was clear. Buy clear I mean CLEAR... like the first time I watched a documentary in HD and I could see every snowflake clear. My anxiety was replaced by wonder. A wonder I haven't felt since I was a little kid and the proportions of the world weren't built for someone my size so everything was so odd and interesting. My friend came over and handed me glow sticks and that plastic sand that never dries out. I was amazed how new everything looked. Then I got tired. And I went to sleep. That's when mother mush really did her work. At that point in my life I had remained single for the better part of a decade because I thought I was damaged goods. I wasn't worth the hassle of a relationship. I was in one right after I got out of the military and I didn't want to do that to a person again. I was without hope. That night after I went to bed, I dreamed of every first kiss I had ever had. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach and the excitement of a first kiss. There is nothing quite like it. And I could play it over and over again... not quite like a time Machine but like I was a 4 dimensional being. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it. I was 32 years old. I gave up on a lot of things in life. Just a few months prior I had to be taken to a hospital in an ambulance due to a panic attack. But there I was, as giddy as a pig in sh-t dreaming about the thrill of a first kiss. And ya know what? That thrill never went away. I have been living life ever since. Free of fear. Free of anger. Free of anxiety. I feel "connected" with something bigger then me. I got married to an amazing girl last year. I'm finishing up my graduate degree in architecture in a couple of months.

People Who Hooked Up With A Coworker Break Down The Aftermath

Reddit user Nuff-Do asked: "People that had sex with coworkers - how did that turn out ?'

We've all heard that love and work do not mix, and we've definitely heard that we shouldn't take relationships or friendships with coworkers to the next level.

Between having our work, our jobs, our income, and maybe even our reputations on the line, there's simply too much at risk.

But maybe sometimes, the affair won't turn out quite the way we expected.

Redditor Nuff-Do asked:

"People who had sex with coworkers, how did that turn out?"

Rewarded with a Trip to Italy

"I was a young Airman at my first base in California and I worked with a girl (let's call her Sarah) who was way more attractive than anyone my small-town Missouri a** had ever hooked up with before."

"For some reason, she was into me. She was into a few other dudes too, but at the time it didn't matter because I was 19 and stupid and she was a few years older and far more sexually experienced than I was. We had sex a few times and sort of 'dated,' but it didn't really go anywhere and I was heartbroken but cool with it."

"This was right after 9/11, so U.S. military operations were starting to ramp up and Sarah got deployment orders. They didn't tell her where she was going, but she was on the hook."

"Her reaction to the news was to tell our Chief that she was pregnant with my kid so she didn't have to go. I knew she wasn't pregnant and just using it as an excuse not to deploy."

"The Chief came to me and asked if I'd go in her place. As I said, I was 19 and even though I was a little scared, I signed the dotted line and told him of course I'd take the deployment."

"It turns out, the 'deployment' was to a NATO base in Naples Italy where I'd be paid about 80 dollars per day per diem on top of my normal paycheck."

"As soon as Sarah found out where I was headed, she called the Chief and told him she wasn't pregnant anymore and would like to take the deployment."

"The Chief denied her request and I spent an amazing eight months in Italy, being paid more money than I knew how to spend and having the time of my life."

- NewPac

Watching Them Move On

"We met thru work and dated for one and a half years. She cheated with another coworker who is married. We broke up. She started to date a different coworker. Not the married one. She paraded that relationship in my face."

"Everything was great until it wasn't. It really f**ked over my self-esteem and self-worth for years. It sucked that I had front row seat to her moving on."

- bluevacuum

"I feel that last part. When my ex moved out, she did it slowly over the course of like a month. She came over every day and packed up slowly until she finally got everything."

"The worst day was when she finally came and took her cat. I still remember sitting in front of the door and crying for hours after she left that day."

"There's a band called Pedro the Lion that has this lyric, 'My old man always swore that hell would have no flame. Just a front-row seat to watch your true love pack her things and drive away.'"

- FTG_Vader

"When I kicked my ex out this summer for having cheated on me, I gave her an arguably unfair timeline to leave before all of her possessions just went outside, and packed and moved everything for her to the garage overnight, since I couldn't sleep anyways."

"This is why. I simply couldn't handle those constant reminders and wanted it done and gone as fast as possible."

- DeceiverX

A Messy Breakup

"I had resigned and was leaving the company anyway but it was one of those classic hookups at a company party. We had fun for a while but then she decided to stop seeing me."

"I'm glad I had left the company by then; otherwise, things would have been messy."

- love_boobs_in_dm

A Huge Theft Ring

"I got fired and she got fired and all 20 guys she f**ked while we were dating were fired."

"I got fired under false allegations because she was my girlfriend and she was stealing from the store."

"She got fired for stealing from the store."

"The other 20 were fired because it was brought up that she was stealing and sleeping with managers and other coworkers while in a relationship with me. They thought that me and her were the center of a theft ring."

"Like, no... I don't steal so."

- butahoomach

A Promotion for Everyone

"So my wife of over 10 years, who had cheated in the past and I forgave her, got a huge promotion at work which caused us to relocate."

"I guess she got tired of me because she kicked me out and we were getting a divorce."

"Four months later, I found out that a co-worker had a thing for me, so I took my shot. The sex was amazing. It could be that it’s been a long time for me since sex with the wife was basically non-existent for the last few years of marriage."

"Me and the co-worker have now been dating for over a year and I haven’t been happier. So for me, it worked out for the best. And the sex is still great!"

- Unrealevil360

Too Many Options

"I worked at a casino as the only male cocktail waiter/bartender (roughly eight cocktail waitresses and four female bartenders). The floor was mostly women between the bar, servers, restaurant, and dealers."

"I slept with one of the cocktail waitresses for a couple of months even though I knew I had a bigger crush on her than she did on me. I also knew I didn't really want a relationship with her for a couple of reasons."

"Evidently, she told some people and gave me good reviews. After she quit and moved away, I had more interest than I really knew what to do with and kinda just went for it with anyone who showed interest that I was attracted to as I knew I had no more than a year left there no matter what happened. I ended up with four more of them over the course of a couple of months."

"One time on a shift, I looked around and all four were on the floor somewhere. All knew each other but I'm not sure any knew about the whole situation, and none were any false impressions of a relationship as far as I know so nothing bad came of it."

- CallMeLargeFather

A Family Man

"Not me, but she was working in payroll and he was a security guard. One day, a coworker saw the security guard walking her to her car. Immediately, she was transferred to another branch. However, they continued to see each other."

"Soon after, they got married after finding out she got pregnant. In the next five years, they had three daughters, with me being the youngest. My dad ended up passing away from brain cancer when I was just a toddler."

- Swimming-Site-7682

The Downfall of a Friendship

"I had one good experience one bad. The first one we ended up dating for a year and a half. We had a ton of fun sneaking around at work, and even though in the end he totally broke my heart, it wasn't a bad experience."

"The second one was very bad. Do not recommend."

"I thought he would be safer because we were friends, so I figured communication and rules would be no problem. Instead, we didn't communicate at all because we were both so worried about hurting each other's feelings."

"It ended badly with major assumptions on both ends and now it's very awkward and uncomfortable."

"It makes me sad because honestly, I just miss my friend. While the experience can be fun, I don't recommend it."

- laylalove89

A Suspicious Relocation

"Pretty fine. We worked at different locations in the company the first time we slept together, but we knew each other as she had trained at my location."

"One night we ran into each other at the bar and one thing led to another. A couple of months later, I ended up getting transferred to the location she was at and we just acted like it never happened."

"After a month or two of working together, we ran into each other again at the same bar, and history repeated itself."

"There was a slightly awkward moment a couple of days later when I had to find a way to give her back the necklace she'd left at my place without anybody noticing, but other than that, our working relationship didn't change at all."

- Nervous_Chipmunk7002

Messy Feelings Everywhere

"First time: super fun but I got more attached than she did."

"Second time: kinda fun but she got more attached than I did."

"Moral of the story: don’t f**k coworkers unless you’re SUPER SURE."

- Arch021

A Heartbreaker

"We dated for over a year and then one day she randomly decided to break my heart. Thankfully, we had stopped working together by that point. It still makes me tear up thinking about her, though."

- Electronic-Mud1634

Best Decision Ever

"We had an instant connection the moment she joined the foundation I had been working at for a year. We worked at the front desk together and we got to know each other very quickly."

"Neither of us enjoyed small talk and we would get angry emails from our unbelievably incompetent manager about the amount of laughter coming from the front desk. We got all of our work done, and then some, our manager just felt like she was getting left out. Which our manager was, but it was because she sucked."

"I worked from home four days a week before my new coworker started and a few weeks later she asked me why I was coming in every day. I told her something about training her how to answer the phones, which she instantly knew was bullsh*t (we got four calls a day, max)."

"The first time we hung out outside of work we told each other it would be a terrible idea to date. That lasted for about 10 days. The next time we hung out we slept together."

"That was a year and a half ago."

"We left the foundation after she told our manager that her 'management style' was untenable in an email. The two of us then called a meeting with her and we laid out a very well-planned strategy for departmental growth and change."

"Our manager nodded her head the whole meeting and told us how proud of us she was for taking ownership of our careers and how excited she was to implement our new plan."

"Three weeks later, they fired my coworker. They pushed me out, telling me that they no longer had a place for me (at my review the previous year, the CEO told me herself that she believed I had CEO potential)."

"We both have new jobs, she is a high school English teacher at one of the best high schools in the country and I became a private investigator."

"Her dad and I go to college football games together and our moms get lunch and do spa dates."

"We have been showing each other how to heal and grow as individuals and as partners."

"Right now, she's sleeping in my bedroom while I type this in the living room. I don't know what the future holds for us but I do know that she's the love of my life."

"Sleeping with my coworker is the best thing I've ever done."

- frankenfine305

"Marry this girl already."

- Long-Regular-1023

Redefining the Coworker

"Pretty good. We have a kid together. Granted we'd been married for seven years before we became coworkers."

"She always wanted to teach at the same school as me. The school grew enough that it needed a dedicated English teacher. She has a master's in it so it worked out."

- i_have_seen_ur_death

A Slow Transition

"We worked together for a couple of years and became close friends before we crossed the romance line one night after a lot of drinks. Honestly, it was and still is amazing. Happily married now over 15 years with two kids."

- theshannons

A Bartender's Love Story

"She's sleeping next to me, cuddling our cat."

"Turns out our chemistry working behind the bar together was also amazing outside of work."

- Eb_Ab_Db_Gb_Bb_Eb

We've all heard that love and work don't mix, and that we absolutely shouldn't get close to our coworkers, but from these Redditors, it seems that while things could get messy, sometimes it's worth the risk.

adding machine with printed receipt tape
Towfiqu barbhuiya/Unsplash

When we're young and naive, we tend to be optimistic as we have our whole lives ahead of us and we have to time to figure out who we are and who we want to be.

But when we're all grown up and out in the big world on our own, nothing can prepare us for the harsh realities of adulting until we experience them.

And unfortunately, life isn't always sunshine and roses the way we imagined it to be when we were much more innocent.

Curious to hear about life's many wake up calls Redditor Just_Surround_2108 asked:

"What is the adult version of finding out that Santa Claus doesn't exist?"

Life's deceptions begin slowly revealing themselves.

Caveat Emptor

"When you buy an 8-piece tupperware set, 4 of the pieces are lids."

– throwmeawaypoopy

"Same with pots and pans. What a rip off!"

– MrsMalvora

"And when you put them in the cabinet, suddenly SIX of the pieces are lids 😂"

– opheliainwaders

Value Of Friendships

"That some friends were never really your friend."

– Kangaroowrangler_02

"Also that friendships can end just like any relationship."

– ScienceUnicorn

"The best friend I'll ever have said some nasty things to me and blocked me recently. Never going to get much closure on that front."

"Not having closure is, with both friends and lovers, worse than the loss itself. I want to grow. Tell me what I need to become so this doesn't happen to me again!"

– VoxClarus

"On a related note: your co-workers are not your friends."

– tomdelfino

"I think most people seem to treat this as the default stance, but I’ve learnt you can actually make deep connections amongst coworkers, the same way you do in other stages of your life."

– immorjoe

The role of parent and child unexpectedly switches. So now what?

Who's Parenting Who

"That time period when your relationship switches and your parent looks to you for answers and advice, instead them being the one with all the answers."

– Smile_Terrible

"Not sure about that one. Dad simultaneously says I’m the smartest person he knows and I don’t know how to do anything lol."

– Puzzleheaded-Job6147

About Grieving

"When both your parents die. I am in my mid 50’s and had my mom pass on Mother’s Day ‘22. My Dad then was living with us from then, and eventually reached in-home hospice status with a sudden stage IV cancer diagnosis. He died in January of this year, and then I got laid off from my tech job and was unemployed for 10 months. Nothing takes the wonderment and positive outlook from the world than having to empty out your childhood home solo and throw everything you grew up with into a big dumpster and are left to wonder what our lives really mean."

– i_spock

Leaving Behind The House You Grew Up In

"I’m in the process of dismantling my childhood home right now. I’ve compared it to dismembering the dead body of a loved one. It’s really rough."

– HaloTightens

"my mum sold my childhood home a decade ago. i won't have to go through that."

– deathschemist

We all want to grow up when we're young. But as soon as reach reach 30, we want to slam on the breaks.

Aimlessness

"I thought I'd grow up, move out, find my footing in the grown up world and basically switch into cruise mode. Now I'm in my 40s and sh*t is confusing as f'k."

– Borsti17

"As adults, nobody knows what they're doing, we're just pretending we do."

– BeautifulMidnight-

Misconception Behind Work Integrity

"Being a hard worker and good at your job doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be rewarded for it."

– DorianOrosco

And the laziest person at work is allowed to be lazy, but the hardest worker isn’t allowed a break."

– Puzzleheaded-Job6147

We Are Our Parents

"Finding out that your parents are people, too, with weaknesses or flaws that you were blind to when you were young."

– tamammothchuk

"And the day you suddenly notice how old they are. When their mortality finally hits you."

– daggerxdarling

Living On Borrowed Time

"Yep had that day earlier this month. Was visiting for dad's 75th birthday."

"As I was leaving, out in the sunshine and fixing to get in the truck, I suddenly saw how small and frail-looking they are now. Mom hit me the hardest. She's started to shrink. They are both healthy, but Dad's just . . . worn."

"Been also doing the math lately. The math where you count up how many times you see them a year and then multiply that by how many years they have left according to the average."

"I've had enough crap and surprise losses in my life that I've long since started parting with family and friends like it might be the last time I get to see them. But that times left to see them calculation really clobbers me with my folks, and it's not even that bad yet for me. Given the ages of my grandparents when they passed I've probably still got somewhere between 150-200 visits."

"But the meter is running."

– Boudyro

I'm at the point where I'm realizing there are no handbooks on life and taking care of our parents.

When you're so used to having them there and taking care of you your whole life, nothing can prepare you for the time when that role reversal happens.

As tough as that may be, however, there's nothing more beautiful in life than returning the favor for the people who loved you unconditionally and raised you.

It's not attractive to gloat.

And there is little more obnoxious than flaunting how wealthy you are.

Particularly if you aren't even that wealthy to begin with.

Indeed, perhaps to make themselves feel more powerful and important than they actually are, many people will try and show off how much money they have in what they wear, eat, live in, and drive.

However, not everyone is so easily fooled, as those in the know can detect a charlatan when they see one.

Redditor aloe_veracity16 was eager to hear the dead giveaways that someone might not be as wealthy as they appear, leading them to ask:

"What’s a dead giveaway that someone is not actually as wealthy as they claim?"

Stating The Obvious...

"When they constantly talk about how wealthy they are."

"A genius doesn't need to tell you they are smart."

"An athlete doesn't need to tell you they are fit."

"And a rich person shouldn't need to tell you they are wealthy."- TigLyon

Attracting Unwanted Attention...

"90% of the wealthy shut the f**k about it, because they learn once they start making good money everyone wants a piece."

"Talking about it constantly = broke AF."- Vladtehwood

Simply By Doing It...

"Making the claim at all is a dead giveaway."- Starfox41

In Plain Sight...

"People who actually ARE wealthy mostly try to hide it."- Matt7738

"Living In A Material World..."

"I'm not well-versed in judging someone's wealth, but I do notice that the fake rich only look rich on social media and try their hardest to go to popular locations celebrities post."

"I know a couple of friends of friends who took out a loan just to keep up the facade that they're all in on the latest iPhones and wearables."

"They built a persona of being a rich kid, so now they have to stay the course."- anima99

Flaunt Modesty, Not Wealth...

"As a person which knows many very rich people."

"I can guarantee that not a single one of them wants to be known as rich."- CompetitivePause9033

Schitts Creek Flirt GIF by CBCGiphy

We Heard You The First Time!!!

"When they repeatedly and adamantly tell you how wealthy they are."- Famous_Bit_5119·

Experiences Over Stuff!

"I feel like actual rich people prioritize vacations/travel, buying their kids cars, paying for their kids/grandkids tuition."

"They don’t spend money on flashy or luxury stuff as much."- Klesea

Summer Time GIF by Merge MansionGiphy

All In The Editing...

"Ever notice how those jet setting influencers that post their pictures out of the airplane window are behind the wing?"

"They're in coach."

"The picture in business is where they stopped to pose on the way through."- Turbulent-Ask-2633

Pack Light...

"Private Jet pilot friend of mine said for the slightly wealthy they bring loads of luggage."

"The ultra rich bring a day bag they have enough money to buy clothes when they get there or already have clothes waiting on them."- hadmeatgotmilk

The Less Said...

"I never met a wealthy person that talks about it."

"They don't need to."- 181Eclipse·

Christina Moses Secrets GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy

"See The Pyramid [SCHEMES!] Along The Way..."

"They make a goofy advertisement for some book or course that 'will help you get rich too!'"

"If they were actually rich, they would be on some tropical beach engaging in whatever vices they enjoy most-not hocking some get-rich-quick scheme."- illegalopinion3

All About The Simple Things...

"My dad's entire job is managing millionaire / billionaire philanthropy accounts, so I’ve grown up surrounded by some of the wealthiest people in the country."

"And I never knew until I got older how these 'Mr. Smith' and 'Ms. Jones' people that I’d grown up hanging out with were anything above upper middle class."

"Normal clothes, modest homes, very down to earth and funny people."

"Big wealth, and especially old wealth, is quiet wealth."- Travel_and_Tea·

Anything But Proud...

"I have a family member who insists she and her husband are upper middle class."

"She isn’t."

"She’s rich (8 figures), but it hurts her in some sort of primal way to acknowledge that."

"Her adult brother is also wealthy, although not as much as his sister."

"Likely also 8 figures."

"He insists he’s blue collar and middle class."

"There’s something in their upbringing that makes them ashamed of having 'made it' financially."- strangled_spaghetti

Blue Collar Work GIF by Pudgy PenguinsGiphy

People will try to come off as wealthier than they are for a multitude of reasons.

But just like any facade, keeping it up eventually becomes untenable.

This is why it's always most important to be grateful for the things you have, rather than flaunt what you wish you had.


silhouette photography of couple
Sean Stratton on Unsplash

When it comes to dating, I have my mental checklist. The guy must be kind, intelligent, funny, and a movie buff. He must be adventurous but also doesn't mind a Netflix and Chill date night.

Most of this is similar to the mental checklists other people have. Of course, I can be flexible. If someone is nice and I'm having fun with them, they don't necessarily have to check all the boxes.

However, I have one specific dating restriction that is a dealbreaker regardless of how many boxes the person checks, and that's religion. I've never been a fan, and now I'm an atheist, and I would want my partner to be as well. That's because I want kids, and the last thing I want is for us to argue about how to raise the kids when it comes to religion.

I'm not the only person who has one specific dating restriction. Everyone has that one thing that is a dealbreaker when it comes to a romantic relationship. Redditors certainly do, and they are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor AceofSpadesYT asked:

"What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?"

It's Just A Joke!

"No cruel or rude pranks."

– detective_kiara

"I saw a post by someone whose boyfriend "pranked" her by pretending to be dead on the kitchen floor. That is exactly how she had found her previous partner, dead on the kitchen floor, which her current boyfriend knew. He was surprised she dumped him and didn't think it was funny."

– innocuousspeculation

We're (Not) Gonna Party!

"No party people. Nothing wrong with it, I just ain't dealing with that sh*t."

– PlantBasedStangl

"True. I like planning weekend stuff, but it has to be something meaningful - visiting a different city, movie marathon, mountain hike, fancy lunch, all okay. But... clubbing and drinking? How f**king old are we, 19? No thank you, I'm old and have no energy for listening to music I don't like while being surrounded by 50 people that I don't give a single half of a sh*t about."

– PlantBasedStangl

LOL

"Same sense of humor. I have 0 interest sharing physical space with someone who doesn't laugh with me."

– Legendary_Lamb2020

My Ears Are Bleeding!

"I'm a light sleeper. I cannot date a snorer. I can hear snores through ear plugs AND a fan blowing. It's not you, it's me."

– YourLocalOrca

At that point, it does sound like them 😂

– CuriousRedditor98

Funemployed

"Have a f**king job."

– Cuss-Mustard

"Found this difficult when I was funemployed. Was fortunate enough to be able to live off savings for a bit."

"People reacted oddly to it. “But what do you do???”"

"Was dating at the same time and some girls had the same sentiment. “You don’t have a job?”"

"I had a good enough job that I didn’t need one anymore. And one lined up 8 months from then. But there were two girls specifically who treated it as a deal breaker."

– DigNitty

"I had a similar situation. I worked a high-paying job for a few years that demanded a ton of my time and had crazy hours. It burnt me out badly and I lived off of the savings from that job for a while and tried to date now that I actually had free time. I had more money in my bank account during that time than at any other point in my life but so many people were put off by me being funemployed and assumed I was looking to leech. But I guess there’s really no way to know someone's history and hard not to assume. Now I work full-time and have way less money overall but it looks better..."

– Pinsit

Just Breathe

"No smoking. Ever. I'm not kissing an ashtray, or smelling an ashtray. Instant turn off."

–fishfood19

"100% I broke up with an old gf because she started smoking behind my back knowing I’ve got asthma and it was always a hard pass. She thought I was joking but it showed me that she was also untrustworthy."

– Jonowl89

That'll Do It

"I guess my husband restricts my dating."

– HeinousEncephalon

"My wife has the same rule. But the jokes on her, I get around it by dating her!"

– AuralRapist

Prehistoric Love

"Must like dinosaurs."

– Grungeceratops

"That goes without saying."

– Plain_Chacalaca

What's In A Name?

"Cannot have the same name as any of my relatives."

– Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

"My last ex had the same name as my Dad and I reeeeeeaally didn't like it. So, fair."

– severaltalkingducks

Be Polite

"If they’re rude to people they’ll never see again (Waitstaff, cashiers, etc) I’m out."

"I can’t respect anyone who doesn’t respect themselves, and when you’re not polite to people you’re disrespecting yourself."

– OctopusCandleCompany

God Only Knows

"When I was dating, you had to be an atheist. I don't mess with religion. And I genuinely just don't think atheists + religious people work out."

"And I know... There's going to be someone who comments (assuming there are enough upvotes) who says "I worked out with my spouse who's religious and I'm not!" but you're the exception. When it comes to making decisions long-term, how to spend your money, where you think you'll go after you die, not to mention basic morality (!), and if you have children - that's a huge hurdle."

– Lulu_42

"We worked it out. It's absolutely an exception and not the rule. Don't do it if you can avoid it."

– Alcoraiden

Let's Move Tonight (Literally)

"They need to be ok with cold weather."

"I grew up in the north, live in the south, and I'm tolerating it until I can move back north. If someone says they hate the cold it's an instant turn-off because I don't want to drag someone into a climate they hate."

"The same thing also applies to walkability. I want to move somewhere walkable, and I hope to meet someone with that same goal rather than try to talk them into it."

– ThePresidentCantSwim

"Let me know when you find this mythical northern walkable community."

– Partner-Elijah

My Purr-fect Match

"Cat has to approve."

– Possible-Source-2454

Non-Negotiable

"They need to be male. Kind of important."

– RMHaney

"So weird, I want the complete opposite."

– eightvo

Yeah, the male thing is kind of important for me too!

Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments.