I mean, really? Yeah, I did that, but that's the reason I'm getting in trouble?
How on earth can you always seem to be at fault? Humans are insecure, but that's no reason for you to always be getting blamed. But, such is life...
Here were some of the answers.
Can I Have A Minute, Please
In drivers education I was yelled at by the instructor for going 61 in a 60, then told to speed up for only going 58, then told I was looking at the speedometer too much. All within a 2 minute span.
You Broke Mah Heart
I've told this story before, but I went to High School in the late 90s. We got the Internet in one computer lab, and that alone was so cool. However, this was still the early days of the Internet where you could type something so innocent and porn would pop up, whether you intended it or not.
Well, that happened to me. Our history teacher reserved the lab one period to research something, IDK what. In any case, regular history search, porn comes up on my computer. I was sent to the office. I'd never been in trouble before in school, so they didn't know what to do with me. They settled on suspending me for the rest of the day. But they did not believe me it was an accident.
Then it started happening to other students and teachers, too. Finally then they put filters on the computers and they realized I was telling the truth, but I was never apologized to.
It's My Life-Don't You Forget
Someone copied my essay!
The stupidest part was that it was all in french and was supposed to be about our f*cking life story.
The professor called me in and accused me of academic dishonesty (which would have had me fail the class and perhaps face worse consequences from the university). I just pulled up my Facebook and showed her pictures of me doing stuff that I said I did in the essay.
I guess the person who copied me was so bad at french that they didn't understand they were copying personal events? I have no idea why someone would copy something like "I grew up in specific town and my first job was specific job" because obviously it's easy to prove that I'm the one who didn't copy that if it's really my life story and not the other person's.
Assault And Blabbery
A girl in my class tried to stab me with scissors (full strength, not playing), but i was able to grab her arm and take them from her. I told her if she tried that again id cut off her pony tail. For saying that the teacher gave me detention for a week. Even after my classmates and I informed the teacher of the actual situation, no punishment was given to the girl (for what is an actual crime).
Tell 'Em, "Boss, Bye!"
I worked at a zoo for a number of years. It was my job to make sure all the animals in my care had been cleaned, fed, watered and locked before I left for the day. Pretty standard.
My boss was in upper management. She had a lot of meetings and such she went to every day. There were days when I didn't see her at all. No big deal.
On one of these days I had just gotten finished buttoning up and was getting ready to leave for the day when she got out of a meeting and asked to feed one of the animals. Uh... if that was something you wanted to do you needed to communicate it to me more than 5 minutes before the end of my work day. So my team and I got screamed at for not saving something for her to do because she'd had a really crappy day in meetings and all she wanted to do was feed this one animal.
I quit a few months later.
Bob Barker Would Not Be Pleased
Third grade. They'd just installed this giant spiral tube slide in the school playground. Everyone wanted to try it, so there was a line. After my turn, I yelled into the slide, "You're the next contestant on the Price is Right."
I had to stand and face a fence pole for the rest of recess.
My husband got a new tattoo a few years ago, his second. My mom asked how his mom felt about that and I said, "Well he's an adult so it doesn't matter, she hasn't commented." Somehow this devolved into her saying he's likely more respectful than I am, he probably got his tattoo somewhere he could hide it, while I'd plaster one on my forehead to be contrary. She was absolutely furious with me.
I don't have any tattoos.
Broken Record By Any Other Name
Four years old a friend dropped a vinyl record and destroyed it.
Dad had bought me a single of the Seven Dwarfs from Snow White performing "Whistle While You Work," and he taught me how to handle it properly and to use his turntable. I was allowed to play that one record but not to touch any of the grown-ups' records or to use the stereo for anything else.
I was delighted.
Needless to say, I played that record several times and showed it to a friend the next day. This was 1970s when four-year-old kids visited other kids without adult supervision; the other little girl had come over to visit by herself. My mother was in another room reading a book.
So I played the record for her. She wanted to touch it afterward so I let her hold it, showing her how to touch it by the edges. No one had warned me other kids might not follow the same precautions. The other girl gripped it wrong and swung her arm over the edge of our second floor apartment balcony.
Fearful, I shouted "Don't drop it!" Which she immediately did. The record broke into three pieces and I was in tears.
Mom vetoed the idea of asking that girl's parents to replace it, called the record "a waste of money," and tried to tell her friends in church that I had broken it. I protested against the blame but still got branded irresponsible. I was also ordered to stay friends with that girl and never mention the incident again, which didn't last for long because our family bought a house and moved away a few months later.
In elementary school, I was wiggling a loose tooth at my desk and it inevitably popped out. I didn't want to sit at my desk sucking blood and making a mess, so I raised my hand and asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom or the nurse to clean it up. She got super pissed and said I was acting out and interrupting her lesson. Lost recess for the day. So I sat there and then got yelled at about 30 minutes later for getting blood on the desk. I had to clean it up, lost recess for the rest of the week and had to write my name 500 times as punishment while everyone else got to go and play.
She also accused me of making up a fake disease when I told her I had Crohn's Disease and that's why I was sick so often after lunch. The feeling of satisfaction when I marched us to the principal to have him tell her she was wrong was the highlight of my childhood.
Reassurance Gets You Nowhere
I found myself locked up on a mental institution for a month. A girl there had been severely traumatized by her scumbag neighbor when she was 7 years old. The bastard forced her to watch the Cannibal Holocaust movie (the first "found footage" movie) and gleefully made her believe it was a snuff film. (He apparently had a huge collection of very rare VHS and Beta Max films.)
I sat her down and explain to her IT WAS NOT A SNUFF FILM and made really sure to explain EVERY SINGLE SPECIAL EFFECT. She goes: "So those people didn't die...?" And I go: "No, they were all actors." I also told her she wasn't the only one who believed the movie was real; plenty people thought so too when the movie got released, and the director almost got charged with murder until the actors showed up to clear the whole thing. She was so relieved she almost cried.
The nurses locked me up on a special room for my troubles, under the reasoning that if I were familiar with that film enough to know trivia, then that obviously meant I had a hidden "violent" side. Sure, idiotic b*tches, I'm so violent I reassured a complete stranger for an hour and a half.