Have you ever witnessed someone get fired over a really stupid mistake? I have - and it's motivating for the remaining employees to think before we act. I once saw someone get fired to telling the owner he didn't understand what our jobs were. Not the best move, ace.
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
50. Just a small, $75 million mistake. NBD.Giphy
My first day on the job as a "financial analyst" at a large Blue Cross health insurance company in December 1986. It was my first job at a big company. They give me a paper report of their "group accounts receivables report" that's literally two feet thick and ask me to look at it - like I'm going to see anything. So I go through the report and later that day they ask me if I have any questions.
I say "why are the same groups appearing three times in different sections of the report?" My boss says "They're not." I say "sure they are, let me show you." It turns out there's an error in the receivable estimating logic of the report and it's caused the company to overestimate their accounts receivable by $75 million through November. There was a quick investigation and the corporate controller was fired before the end of the week.
49. When you're trying to get fired.
It's a long story, but basically a dude kept peeing in the ficus tree in a conference room.
At first maintenance thought it was an animal doing something in the walls, and gutted the room.
That didn't fix it, so they put a camera in. EVERYONE knew the camera was there, what we would catch was the talk of the office. Dude gets busted on camera, flat out denies he was pissing in the ficus tree.
HR just says, "well, ok, stop then" (old school company that wouldn't fire people unless you flat out murdered your boss).
Dude gets busted AGAIN like a week later. Still denies it even though he is there on tape, peeing in the tree, HR relocates him to pretty much the opposite side of the building, right next to a bathroom, and someone finally has the common sense to get rid of the ficus tree.
Dude now goes in, and just pees in the corner. They finally fired him after that one.
The obvious answer is the dude was trying to get fired, but he fought so hard against it every time it was on the table that it didn't add up. Occasionally i'll look him up on LinkedIn, and based off his work history, i'm going to assume its a re-occurring theme for him.
48. Way to blow your own cover.
We hired a new guy, on his first day the help desk guy is setting up his computer and the new guy asks, "could you change my username from tscott to twilliamson?' The help desk guy asked why, and he was told that's his real name. So he changed the username then went to HR to mention it to them.
I guess HR re-ran their background check with his new name and found somethings they didn't like, because like an hour later he's being escorted out of the office.
47. Moronic negligence.
I was a bank teller while I was getting through college. At our bank we had a "limit" system where to cash a check over a certain amount you had to have a manager override the transaction and approve the check themselves. One day I was at a new branch (we got shuffled around a lot) and someone comes in with a $25000 check. We had enough to cash it for him so I asked the manager to come over and take a look and override it.
She didn't, instead she was too busy texting/Facebooking at her desk so she just "remote overrode it" where she didn't see the check or customer and just typed in her password/okayed the transaction from her own computer. Because she did this I figured she must know the guy with the check, maybe he's a regular, etc. So I gave him his money and he was off. A week later we find out the check was a counterfeit. She was fired on the spot for negligence because they had her on camera on her cell phone and remote overriding instead of coming over to look.
46. Nothing to see here.Giphy
Security guard hated one person in the office.
He carved "c*nt" into her desk. She found it, reported it to HR, and they went to pull the security footage...which was "mysteriously deleted" for about 5 minutes in the middle of the day.
Guy decided to share adult meme emails with the girls in the office. Security marched him out of the building.
Somebody in my warehouse hit somebody with a forklift on purpose last night. So there's that.
43. A trifecta of failure.
There was the guy who let himself back into the office after hours so he could watch adult videos on his computer (this was before people usually had home Internet). He wasn't expecting our bosses to walk in with a bunch of potential investors, finding him knocking one out with his trousers round his ankles.
Then there was the woman who embezzled £27,000 and spent it on Facebook games. She made very little attempt to hide what she did so it was uncovered easily when we were audited.
Or the manager who threw a staple gun at a disabled wheelchair user on his team's head. He screamed at him that he didn't know the meaning of disabled, that he had a disabled brother, and that the team member was just a lazy bastard who was trying to get out of work by making up the pain he was in. Team member subsequently found out that his pain was due to spinal cancer. Manager was fired on the spot after it happened.
42. You just know he was in a frat.Giphy
Friend in college had an internship at some engineering company. Went up to a co-worker who had a banana on her desk, and loudly asked "do you ever use that for anything else?".
Only dude I ever knew to be fired from an internship.
41. Too Far
When I worked in an ICU I worked with a married couple. They seemed normal for the most part. The husband especially, but the wife was a little... uh.. high energy.. still not that weird. Or so we thought.
Anyways the woman wrote herself multiple death threats (one was written in blood, don't know if it was hers) and would put them in her locker. Then she'd put on this full show complete with tears and a full freak out every time she'd "receive" one of these letters.
They installed a camera in the locker room and that's when they found out the psycho wife was putting the letters in her own locker.
Obviously she was fired. Her poor husband still had to work with us while this thing was going on. He finally just quit. I felt bad for him with everyone gossiping about his crazy wife.
40. Sofa So Long
One of the salesmen told his girlfriend that he was the VP of sales. He snuck her in after hours and took her to the real VP's office - he had changed the nametag to the one from his cubicle - and they had sex on the sofa in the office.
The next day he BRAGS about it to a co-worker. Got fired and the sofa was hauled away that very day.
A guy brought in his gaming laptop on the night shift to play WoW and got nothing done.
One night the boss sneaks in, walks up behind him and calls our 800 number from his cell phone. The employee completely ignored the incoming call and got fired on the spot.
38. Intern-al StruggleGiphy
i interned at a computer security company. the kind that is VERY serious about security.
the first thing they told you when you got in, is that your phone should be turned off at all times when you're on the premises. you also had to sign a document agreeing to it before you were able to enter.
a new intern got caught on facebook on her phone on her first day, not even 2 hours after she got the speech and signed the document.
she got chewed up by the boss, got a written warning right away and got told it was her last warning before being fired.
that afternoon she got caught a second time using her phone.
there were tears. the guy from our university responsible for the interns even came to the company and pleaded her case. didn't work.
she had to repeat the last year of her master's degree because of that. dumba**es will be dumba**es.
(oh and another intern was fired while i was there because he took his work files home with him, work that included a full map of the company's network and some other critical stuff)
37. Pirate's Life
Worked in a pizza shop. I was the cook and the night was winding down. One of the guys was outside smoking. He had a soda cup that our manager thought was his so he took a sip. It was Jack and Coke. That guy was a delivery driver.
When I drove, I would routinely swing through the liquor store so I could deliver beer with pizza to regular customers (at a tidy profit) and that's small potatoes compared to the other drivers who sold weed.
36. Pushing Luck
Dude used his City Arena Employee ID Card to get in to a NBA Championship Game. Then, rather than chill in the corner and watch the game, he flashed his card to get past security and get courtside. Coach Carlesimo wasn't having it. Called Arena Management and reported this yahoo getting in the way and bugging his players. Dude lost his gig with the city, ultimately got kicked out of the Union. If he'd just snuck in to the game and chilled quietly, he could have watched the game and nobody would have said "Boo" to him. But he had to push his luck till it gave out.
My manager and I snuck into one of the NBA finals when Orlando was in the playoffs. We were Subway employees, so we just walked in the back like we belonged and flashed our hats to the guard. We're able to walk around the locker room and backstage areas. Finally made our way up to nose bleed behind the goal. Only one person asked us to move down. Seats didn't matter, because we pulled it off!
35. Food FightGiphy
I once worked a couple of summers on a casual contract in a food factory, one of those ones that makes microwave meals. We worked in the cooking area and would have a laugh during the shift but were all mature enough to know when to get on with the work.
Anwyay there was one kid who started with me fresh from school and really wanted to get taken on permanently.
A couple of months in we both get offered full time positions, I turned it down as I was going back to college a few weeks later so no point but this kid took it.
Having done all the paperwork he started his first week on the job, it would also be his last. Most of the meals were made for big brand companies and a very major customer was coming in for a visit during the week.
This meant us basically all having the day off from work so we didn't screw up but instead a sample line was being run just so they could see the process and we wouldn't lose the contract.
Kid doesn't get the importance of this and comes out of cold store with some mash potato to throw at someone, this would have been ok on any other day as long as senior management weren't around but not this day. Instead he hits one of the visitors. Kid was gone within the hour and left in a flood of tears.
34. BEER. NOW.
Trying to steal beer from a walk in cooler by emptying packs of beer or 40oz bottles into a trash bag and "throwing them away." She didn't know that there was a camera in the walk-in cooler.
Edit: If I knew my gas station story was this entertaining, I would have told you guys more stories a long time ago. cmpgamer
33. What's AOL?
HR received an email from some random AOL account that was using our President's name as the friendly name. The email said, "Hi, I am unhappy with my bank's customer service. Can you change my direct deposit to the following..."
She changed it. CarterLawler
32. Every little thing....
We're in a field where you have to record every little thing you do in case you get audited by the state. One of my coworkers was copy and pasting the notes for six straight months and skipping out on going to actually see any clients. It was found out when one of the clients called and asked a supervisor why they hadn't been seen in so long when they were supposed to be seen once a week. Mist2393
31. A few nips...Giphy
Coworker got caught barfing into her trash can. They found hundreds of empty nip-sized bottles of vodka in her desk. Barkingpanther
30. Employee Discount.
A salesman at my old job would sell whatever he was selling TVs, furniture, mattresses to customers then after they left he would go back into the system and give them a discount in the amount that it would take to buy another item (usually a tv) then take the TV home. Inventory matched and no one was on to him until someone came in for a refund and things didn't match up. passengerv
29. Show me the receipts!
My company has its own courier service and during the day's work they are allowed to have a few drinks during the day, grab a meal and hand in the receipts to our accounting and be reimbursed. The drinks of course can't be alcoholic - it's like water or coffee, or soda or some kind of refreshment. These courier handle money among other things and it should've gone without saying that they can't be under the influence of alcohol during their working hours. (plus they drive)
Weeeell, apparently it needed to be said. Because one genius went 'hey, BEER IS A DRINK' and he bought a ton of beer and tried to hand in the receipt for it to our accountant. He also had moments when he tried to hand in grocery receipts too.
"You can have a meal, Bogdan!"
"This is food!"
"IT'S A DOZEN RAW EGGS!" AccioSexLife
28. She Nasty!
Cursed out the CEO's wife and ended her rant by saying "what are you gonna do, fire me?" papayaregime
27. So Sleepy!Giphy
We had a contractor who fell asleep in front of the CEO when he was giving a tour of the facilities to the board members. Also, solitaire was on his screen instead of work. It was pretty bad. rheidaus
26. The Flip!
Worked the phones for a furniture retailer a few years ago. Had an agency temp who muted his headset, flipped it up and surfed the Web for a good ten minutes, and afterwards replaced it and told his customer who he'd had on the line the whole time that his computer had crashed.
I watched as the deputy manager casually walked over, waited for the call to end and then escorted him out of the building. Trimem
We had a guy take one of our GPS-TRACKED trucks to a competitor and put in an application. On the clock. undeadpenguins
That sounds more like a giant FU to his employer! theflyinghillbilly
24. I was Blind.
A co-worker who I trained in electronics managed to steal almost $8000 worth of IPads. I always felt like garbage for not realizing it but also it wasn't necessarily my job to look out for employee theft and he seemed like such a good guy. The worst part is that they knew he was doing it but let it continue so they could charge him with a higher sentence. The_Snickelfritz
23. The Fruit Ninja!
I worked at a supermarket, and once two girls went out the back of the produce section with a bunch of fruit and veg and knives and filmed each other doing "fruit ninja," then posted it on Snapchat. One of the girls was Snapchat friends with our manager and two days later they were gone. God, I feel second hand embarrassment just typing this and I barely knew either of them, it was just so stupid. ganoz
22. Too Salty...
Dumbest screwup: I work in a site that manufactures chemicals for blood typing. We had a guy start here in the development lab who, pretty much straight away, it became obvious had lied about his previous experience working in a lab. Someone asked him whether a liquid he had added was glycerol or BSA, so he stuck his finger in it, tasted it and said "tastes salty so I'd say BSA"...
Needless to say he was fired on the spot. fantalemon
21. Inspector Gadget?Giphy
Building inspector who wasn't bothering to actually do inspections. Got caught when a property owner asked why he had been billed for an inspection at an address that had been razed the previous year. Can't inspect what's not there. nagakagan
20. Mail Felony!
I used to work at the post office. In December there's always a flood of mail (both packages and letters) so we temp hire like 10 extra people drivers and ~30 extra for mail (small-ish town). This one temp-mailman would load his car with the mail for his route and then dispose of it and spend the day at home smoking weed.
When he was found out he was fired and charged with a felony. Turns out that destroying mail in the amounts he was doing is considered as an act of terrorism (since there's a lot of official documents that go through the mail system), He's still a deadbeat and he's also not allowed to leave the country because he's on an international list of known terrorists. gardyna
19. Bunch of Winners....
I have three, all at the same company. One was an alcoholic and he got caught drinking hand sanitizer. The other one was caught f***ing our intern in the supplies room.
Take a pick! Jauxerous
18. The Huffer.
Not me but my friend works at a tech store and his coworker got fired because on day 3 of his job, he was found in the back huffing really expensive compressed air that the company needed a special license to have. WaviestMetal
17. Being Fueled.Giphy
Heard about a guy who got a job at a float plane company. He was fueling a plane and someone called coffee break time so he left.
He was fired day 1 for spilling many liters of fuel into the water because he didn't turn off the pump when he went for coffee break. canehdian78
16. Invisible People.
I worked for a short time as an insurance salesman. When I joined my office, there was this guy who was just killing it in policy sales. My first quarter there he was top salesman in the nation and we had a big office dinner to celebrate. A few weeks later, he quits showing up at the office, we wonder what is going on. Turns out he was selling policies to people who either didn't exist or friends and family members then paying for the policies himself.
Then after a few months he would let the policies lapse. Of course, after his big quarter he couldn't keep up and company auditors got suspicious. Huge scandal since the president of the company had shouted out congratulations to him in a company presentation. Got him fired, as well as our office and regional managers demoted as well. Everybody working in the office at the time found different work soon after (myself included)... MaestroM45
15. Porn Crash.
One of my colleagues watched porn in his office laptop at home and unknowingly downloaded virus and when he connect to our VPN. It spread everywhere causing the production to crash and 3 hours of downtime. The it team found the source and he was fired.
Treat your office laptop well folks. it's ok to check Amazon or match score but never any suspicious websites. Indianfattie
14. Family Affair.
Two coworkers. Both married. Both have kids. They hooked up.
Everyone knew or thought they knew. They agreed to both leave their SO's and hook up for real. He told his wife and kids and filed for divorce.
She did the same but her SO wanted to give it another shot. She agreed. Next day at work was a crapstorm. Guy loses his mind and (obv) gets into an argument. (never physical).
She is sent to a different department. He was let go. (fired). Lanceth115
13. Not that phone fool!Giphy
Had a friend that did cable. He thought the customer was hitting on him at a job because "she was dropping serious hints and jokes." After he left, he texted her on his COMPANY PHONE saying something like "I'm gonna screw the crap out of you." Within, like, 15 min he was back at the office being terminated. whiteout14
12. Fire it Up!
Screw up... breakfast cook was grilling two 10oz beef tenders to take home. When confronted about them by the owner of the establishment, she proceeded to say a guest called down and requested them (they're only on our dinner menu). So he checks phone records and finds nothing.
Fires her right there... anyways, the stupid part here she should have just wrapped them up in a takeout box and grilled them at home and she would still have her job. Ironically, she was grilling them to take home to her boyfriend who had just gotten his first job in 3 years or something. mattbridel
11. Scamming reward points....
I worked for the largest telecommunications company in the country (Australia), who has a point system as a staff benefit scheme, so depending on much of your KPIs you achieve depends how many points you get.
Points can be used to pay your phone/internet bill, but only so many points get allocated per sector. The member of middle management who was in charge of rewarding the points and wasn't eligible to participate in the scheme so instead over X amount of months she was adding the points as dollars on her bill, to which she was stocking up with free staff plans iPhones, and then re selling them and waiving the disconnect fees on her account. She got busted after clearing about $10,000 on her account and trying to refund it back to her bank account.
Everyone was glad to see her go after finding out she was scamming the teams out of their rewards points. xTacoMumx
10. The Good Run.
Boss decided to have an affair with the accountant in order to get approvals for needless lunch/dinner meeting expenses as well as international travels that provided no benefit to the company or her position.
This went on for over five years... parent company finally caught on and fired both of them. Wonder if it was worth it? KismetHeartfilia
9. But I Love Wendy's!Giphy
I used to work in a call center for a retail website. Because we were taking people's orders over the phone and had credit card numbers and stuff, it was a highly secure building. You had to have a badge to enter and be screened by security before you could come in, but visitors were allowed to come into the cafeteria to eat with employees. Some lady apparently didn't have a babysitter and brought her 9 year old daughter in to the cafe and then somehow got her back into the phone area without security noticing.
She put her at a cubicle and put a headset on her to make her blend in.
What actually got her caught was that she decided to eat a full Wendy's meal at her desk (which we weren't allowed to do) which lead a supervisor over to reprimand her. When he came over, he saw the kid sitting there. She was fired immediately. Reddit
8. You Can't Hide!
I worked in a grocery store at the time. Every inch of the place (with the exception of the bathrooms) was covered by the cameras. There was no such thing as the cameras having a blind spot. I had a security guard I liked warn me to be careful of what I did due to the lack of blind spots and many of the cameras being hidden from view. Despite the fact that there was literally no point during the day when you were off camera there were 6 people that were stealing thousands from the cash drawers and stealing credit card information each week.
All 6 were arrested and walked out of the store in cuffs. Since I liked all 6 and was considered a friend to all 6 I had my cash drawer randomly audited periodically for a few months after that. Every time someone new started to steal, even if I was known to dislike that person, the auditing began again. I eventually quit without notice. gothiclg
7. The Purchase.
Worked in a warehouse were all the product was stored and shipped. Dude was somehow purchasing product through the company's account, shipping it to his address, storing in his basement, then selling it on ebay. Word is his basement was full to the ceiling with product. He got caught, got fired, and got in trouble with the police. boyjohnnyjohnnyboy
6. Flying Pads.
I work for a regional airline (pilot).
Parent company finally got us IPads to use as Electronic Flight bags, and distributed them to all the pilots. One guy thought it'd be wise to sell the company iPad and try to activate is Samsung phone as the EFB. Didn't work. Goes to company who ask "where is your iPad?" And turns out he sold it on eBay. Genius got canned for being an idiot, but last I knew the pilot union was working with him to get his job back.
We just got rid of 20lbs of paper that you had to lug everywhere and replaced it with an iPad, and you go and try that shit? C'mon man. bignose703
5. The Airdropper.
I knew a guy who got caught airdropping nudes of another employee into his phone. The sad thing is he's married with three kids and I always looked up to him as a role model until that happened. BandaidPlacementTech
4. Private Parts.
The CEO had his own private "Executive Lavatory" that was off-limits to everyone else (the door even said "Private" on it).
As a prank, one new hire challenged the rule when he mistakenly thought the CEO was away and the coast was clear. He got caught red-handed when the boss walked in, and summarily fired as a result.
(Apparently, the guy didn't apologize, but told the CEO in a confrontational manner that all lavatories should be available without restrictions.) Back2Bach
3. Last Gear.
I worked at a large quick lube chain for a while after high school. We had just had a meeting about how if the customer was on site, or if the car was a manual transmission and you didn't know how to drive one, to have the customer move their own car.
This guy finished up on a car. He jumped in to pull it out of the bay. It was a manual transmission. He didn't know how to work one. The customer had left it in gear instead of neutral with the parking brake on.
The guy fires it up, the clutch pops and the car goes flying through the garage bay door. The guy just left. Didn't change clothes or anything. Just left and we never saw him again.
The customer was in the waiting room. The whole thing was on tape. We watched that tape over and over. The customers reaction was priceless. Theo_kerabatsus
2. In & Out.Giphy
I worked retail in college. One day an employee walked into the backroom, grabbed a laptop from the stock shelves, and walked out. It's baffling because he KNEW there were security cameras. He was fired, and I never saw him again. I always wanted to know what prompted that blatant theft. mryingster
1. All the Facts.
I'll give you two, from a big computer company I used to work for, about 30 years ago.
A security guard at work was a pot dealer. One evening, there were police hiding everywhere, waiting for the security guard to sell weed to someone. My buddy walked in bought weed, and the dealer was arrested. My friend was told he would not be charged, just fired, and he was escorted to the door. He was quite bitter about it.
Another employee was stealing CPU boards from computers and selling them. This worked until he stole a board from a prototype computer. The buyer didn't know what the board was, so the buyer contacted the computer company to ask. They caught the guy. aRoseBy
Insults come in many forms, most of them involving swear words or similar affronts. However, there is something to be said for a truly cutting remark made without the use of such language.
Some favorites are always old Victorian slang and insults. They just hit different. Something about telling an a-hole “you sir are an unlicked cub and your wife a sausage wallet" is just more satisfying. Although we do not recommend going around insulting people, the list of swear-free insults below will certainly get a chuckle.
Redditor Beadiest_Cape wanted to hear the best cuss free insults out there and asked:
“What's the best insult you've heard without swearing?"
“After getting a compliment on his assignment, A buddy of mine leaned back in his chair and told our college professor, ‘I'm not as dumb as I look.’ To which he leaned forward on his podium and said, ‘You couldnt be.’” dusty_boots
“…and may God have mercy on your soul.”
“One of the best is from Billy Madison, ‘What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.’” maswriter
You should apologize…
“You’re not the dumbest person in the world, but you'd better hope they don’t die.” WhatThatBoiDoin
“Whenever this question is posted, my favorite is usually along the lines of: ‘There's a tree somewhere in the Amazon jungle with sole purpose of producing oxygen you breathe. You should go find that tree and apologize." all_worth
How low can they go?
“The bar was on the ground and you grabbed a shovel” BlckAlchmst
“That reminds me of one comment i read saying: ‘the bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are dancing limbo with the devil’.” give_it_a_vodkashotSeries 2 Limbo GIF by BBC ThreeGiphy
"Having been born an infant, and realizing he quite liked it, he decided to stay one forever." overt-wan-kenobert
“From Casablanca: ‘You probably think pretty poorly of me don't you?’”
"’I would if I gave you any thought’" koiven
These teachers got clap backs for days…
“I had a teacher tell some kid ‘Nothing you have to say is of any consequence...to anyone.’ He was an odd teacher who kinda talked like that, but it was his version of savage. The room lost its sh*t in unison.” glib_battling
“I had a guy sit behind me in English class let out of fart that reverberated off the wooden seat. The whole class heard it. The teacher said ‘that's the most intelligent thing you've said all year’. Priceless” melbers22
“I was at a karaoke 50th the other night and this one caught my eye. Thankfully I wasn't drunk enough to sing it. But I love this song for its sick burn. Poor old Edie. Bob really gave it to her that time.” crankenfranken
Down the Monty Python rabbit hole…
“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt... of elderberries!” UpTwoDownOne
“Elderberries were the cheap replacement for grapes in making wine. That is basically ‘your father is a drunk and can't afford the good stuff’.” ukezi
“And hamsters have sex all the time with no regard for monogamy.” draconum_ggg
“So, ‘Your mother is being cheated on but is also a w*ore and you father is a drunk who is also broke’.” EmpanadaDeMayonesa2
“‘My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a...middle.’ --Mal Reynolds”
"’It's not that I hate you, exactly; it's just that any admiration I have for you is well under control.’” FlourChild1026
Shakespeare master of insults…
“Straight from Shakespeare ‘I wish we could become better strangers’.” Dundeklil
“Also from Shakespeare: (Fallstaff, after Bardolf calls him fat) ‘Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life.’” driving_andflying
Excuse us while we go grab the burn cream.
Aging is a sneaky process. Most of us don't realize how old we've gotten until we find we are no longer able to do things the way we used to with ease when we were younger.
Sure, it's depressing, but you know what? Aging happens to all of us, and no one is getting out of here alive.
"What gets worse with age?"
Physical consequences of aging is one of the cruelest things in life.
Watch Your Hyde
"Your skin. Take care of it. Skin cancer sucks."
What The Body Does With Food
"Every meal is followed by a poop."
"Bending over to pick a quarter off the ground. Hurts your back, gut and your fingers don't work. That's why there is change all over my floor. ;)"
After A Wild Night
"Hangovers for sure."
"At 18 I could go heavily drink and feel damn near 100% the next day. Now I get horrid mental and physical effects. Probably should quit drinking all together."
When our senses gradually start to fail us, it's yet another reminder of our brief mortality.
"Make sure you get your eye dilated every year and check for cataracts."
"My hearing is on the decline. I don't think it'll go completely, but I did get hearing aids last year."
The degeneration of certain abilities as we get older is too much to bear.
Staying Above Water
"My ability to cope. I'm just burnt out all the time."
"I feel the same. Aside from my family and friends, I have no care for anyone or anything anymore. Nothing phases me but that's not a good thing IMO. I feel very apathetic towards everything, I'm tired all the time and just want to lay down."
"The ability to sleep through the night."
"Used to be a world champion sleeper and now 5-6 straight hours is huge. Pretty much wide awake every night at 3am."
Putting Up With People
"Humanity.... The older I get the less I want to deal with people."
"Friendship - making new friends after your 20s becomes a big struggle, and the newer friendships just aren't the same. You can literally run out of 'lifelong friends' due to death, disease, people growing apart, etc."
I found as I'm getting older my patience and tolerance for certain things have gotten worse.
Waiting in line at the grocery store while someone fumbles with their payment option, or getting antsy when the food I ordered at the restaurant is taking way too long are things that never bothered me ten years ago.
I"m not curmudgeonly by any means, at least not yet. Besides, I'm not that old.
But to all the cranky elders I grew up with who complained about poor service or lack of efficiency, I get it now, and I hear you.
It's never easy to leave home.
Redditors that were kicked out before or at 18, what happened to your relationship with your parents afterwards?
Things outside your control, like divorce, shouldn't be the child's concern. If the parents don't handle things properly then unfortunately it ends up falling on the kid, forcing them to make the tough choice.
Putting Your Problems On Others
"Parents kicked me out when they got divorced and "couldn't afford to take care of me anymore."
"Struggled for a while but doing ok now. Don't talk to either of my parents and that seems to have improved my life quite a bit."
Suffering The Consequences
"My parents divorced when I was 12, dad had primary custody. He got a new girlfriend who hated me and my brother when I was about 16. My only request was they wait til I left for college to get married. He dumped me and everything that was mine in his house on my estranged mother's front lawn, jumped back in the car, and drove off a full two months before school started. They were married by August (on my mother's birthday)."
"I moved out of my mom's place as soon as I made a friend in the new city 500 miles from where I grew up using $400 a month he gave me for expenses to keep him from feeling too guilty about it (my mom's alimony payments expired right around the same time I left, so he just gave it to me instead of her, he did the same thing when he forced my brother out after I graduated. I joke when he's old I'll find him a nursing home that costs $400 a month so see can see what that buys you.)"
"I begged to be allowed to come back for holidays every year for a decade. I had to listen to my dad call me every holiday with his new wife's kids clearly there in the background and when I asked about it he would just sigh. One time he had me call his wife to ask her and she just spent 5 minutes cursing at me and telling me I was awful. I was maybe 19 and had never had any real trouble, legally, academically, or socially. I spent summers on my friends couches so I could go back to see them at least. He would try to meet up with me, but I was just so angry and hurt I usually didn't tell him I was in town."
"He is still shocked I don't want anything to do with him now that I'm older. He still thinks I deserve everything I got, which I know because it was the last thing I ever let him say to me before calling it officially done. He won't be at my wedding. He won't ever know my husband or my family. I'm done."
"Did fix my relationship with my mom eventually though. She was actually sorry for the time we missed and glad to have me back in her life. I'm also still tight with my brother."
Growing To Understand The Decision
"I was kind of a b-tch as a teenager, moved out at 17 after she gave me an ultimatum, didn't talk to my mom for three-ish years, then only on holidays. Then I moved back in with her for 6 months, which was not fun as someone 21 years old who had been on their own for 5 years prior."
"I did a lot of work in therapy and we repaired our relationship. She's now one of my best friends, we live about ten minutes apart, and I go over just to chat a few times a week."
"I hated her at the time, but I have grown to understand that she was trying to do the best with what she had. Also, I was a very difficult child."
You know what's a perfectly reasonable solution to not having a home to live in?The military, apparently.
(Only join if you feel that it's right for you. Don't let anyone make you join.)
Military Or Bust
"Six months before I was 18 my grandmother was adamant that she was going to take me to enlist in the military and I said no, so she wanted me out at 18. I arranged to move in with my gf."
"By the time of moving day, my grandmother was acting like our spat never happened- "keep in touch" "don't be a stranger" "dont burn any bridges". I only really interacted with her at family gatherings after that, and I have her on Facebook so she can keep up-to-date without me actively taking to her."
No, Really. Military Or Bust.
"My mom always said that "had to be out" at 18 once I graduated. I honestly took this to heart. I didn't have a bad relationship with my parents, but I was also left to raise myself most of the time."
"I graduated at the beginning of my senior year, was 18, and moved the f-ck right out, joined the military shortly thereafter. My mom had a fit. I thought this was what she wanted."
"I'm "OK" with my folks, but I basically left for 5 years and stopped calling. Still very much independent, very successful, and have very little of what is a relationship with them. I didn't have role models or people to guide me. I'm a parent in my 30s and I'm trying to unf-ck everything and treat my child like she should be treated, lots of attention and love. I'm salty about the way I was raised; I often upset at them. The more I grow, the more distance I out between myself and my parents."
"I'll be sure go guide my kid and not make her leave home asap."
A Fizzled Relationship
"I was 17 when my mom and I had a huge fight. She said, "If you walk out the door, don't bother coming back" - one of those empty threats. Of course she was surprised when I packed some bags and took off. I stayed with a guy that I had been seeing for a couple of months."
"That relationship fizzled out fast and I wound up coming back home. Learned fast that he was a drug user. He was also staying at his brother's house and said it was cool that I was there. But then the brother announced he was coming home - and that was it for me."
"Took a long time to patch things up with my mom. We started getting along better later in my life. It took a long time to get there though. My dad and I always got along well."
Then there's these situations, far outside the reasonable control of any child. Abuse and divorce are situations which shouldn't be placed at the feet of someone under 18, but this is how it goes sometimes.
Burning That Trust
"It's a long, ugly story. But yes, it did change everything. I still harbor resentment toward my mom for caring more about getting my stepdad out of jail than making sure I was OK or taking me to the hospital. I'll never stop loving my mom and I know she loved me back, but it was clear that her men sat higher on her priority list than I did. I was 16, he didn't even have a legal right to kick me out in the first place."
"And I obviously never trusted my stepdad again. I haven't talked to him since my mom died in 2010 and I hope I never see him again. I couldn't care less about how his life is going, I have more important things to focus on."
Lose A Key? Get Out.
"When I was 16 my mom invited her alcoholic boyfriend to move in with us. He hid his drinking quite well, and he hid the violent outbursts he had towards me even better. I tried talking to my mother and grandmother about it and they accused me of lying because I "just didn't like him". The whole thing snowballed and, because my dad wasn't talking to me or my sibling at the time (a key fell out of my pocket before I left for school, got locked out of the house for a couple hours. Apparently that was the worst thing ever and justified a massive argument and falling out), I ended up on a bus to a different city at 2am to live with a friend whose dad owned a roofing business.
Spent a few months hating every second of it and trying to make it on my own. Eventually, my mom's boyfriend started to go after my sibling, and it all ended when he threw a glass of water at them (glass included) in front of my mom. I was able to go back home, but things were never the same and I fell into a deep depression and it left me with some trust issues, especially with people around the age I am now. It also left me with an odd aversion to physical labour"
"A lot more has happened since then, despite repeated attempts to reconcile our relationships. I ultimately decided that I can't be around them, and that it's best to keep my distance from family. I talk to my parents once a year, on Boxing Day, and that's all the time and attention I'm willing to give to them"
Getting Out Of The House No Matter What
"I grew up in an extremely abusive household. Every category of abuse you can imagine."
"When I was 16 I was given a choice to either leave or go to foster care, so I packed what little I had and moved to another state. That was nearly 12 years ago."
"My relationship with my parents is strained at best, I rarely speak with either of them any more and I plan to change my legal full name and leave the country, so that I am not associated with them in any way, shape or form."
Keep your head on your shoulders. Have a plan. If it feels like you're set to be kicked out or, even worse, forced to leave for your own safety, start preparing.
Like it or not, we've all met a liar or two. Some lies aren't so obvious either, and if the individual has a habit of lying regularly, then that's a sign that they could have a larger problem. Some lies are more innocent––we know those as "little white lies"––and typically don't harm anyone.
And some lies are just obvious and absurd––even entertaining. Why do people say these things? In truth (ha), the reasons might be complicated and the individual might not even be aware. We heard all about them after Redditor Mobile_Sturgeon asked the online community,
"What was the most obvious lie you've ever heard?"
"My friend told us..."
"My friend told us he was born mid-flight, and that it was on the exact border between Scotland and the USA, so he was half American, half Scottish."
This person has never looked at a map, have they?
"He then showed me..."
"My regular job is as a club promoter, I just work here [crappy retail franchise] for fun money." He then showed me a generic picture of a Ferrari and said that was his car.
Bonus lie, he told everyone he was 28 when he was clearly in his mid to late 40s."
"I stopped believing it..."
"My grandma got me to eat bread crusts when I was a toddler by telling me they're made of broccoli and cauliflower. I stopped believing it in a few months but it worked."
Ha! The creative little white lies that grandparents make up!
"My husband forgot..."
"My husband forgot to wake me up after promising me that he would. When I woke and realised that I may get late, I was pissed and asked him why he didn't wake me up as he'd promised, he told me that I was looking so cute, sleeping, that he didn't want to disturb me.
Well, after six years of togetherness, that is so obvious a cover-up for having forgotten something that I broke out laughing."
Oh, they totally forgot. But it sounds like you two are very much in love, so that's great!
"Aside from this bizarre quirk..."
"A guy at my local pub claimed to have written just about every popular song you could name, and when called out would get mad and come up with elaborate stories to explain how, for example, he had written "Stairway to Heaven" when he was 10 years old and been ripped off by Led Zeppelin.
Aside from this bizarre quirk, he seemed totally normal. Had a proper job and everything."
You meet some odd characters in pubs, but they're typically not hurting anyone, so leave it be.
"A friend of mine..."
"A friend of mine once told me a great story about something funny they did. It was hilarious.
Problem was, it was MY story. I had told it to him six months before. He told me the whole thing almost verbatim, only he had inserted himself where I had been in the story. I think that's my favorite."
"I had an employee..."
"I had an employee who was 45 minutes late to work and he told me with a straight face that he had to wait for a family of ducks to cross the road, and that's why he was late."
You have to admire his chutzpah, don't you? I cracked up at this.
"A friend I had in high school..."
"A friend I had in high school wanted me to come with her to Texas to visit her brother. Presumably, he was in a gang and had a million guns and robbed banks all the time. As if I've never seen a Western before.
Also she's adopted. She has a foster sister, a foster mom, and a pet dog named Snowball. I've been to her house. She has no brother."
"A girl I went to high school with..."
"A girl I went to high school with was neurotic about grades and rankings, etc. During the college application process, she was rejected from a school that accepted one of my close friends. We were discussing the school after class one day and this girl said 'Yeah, they rejected me but sent a letter saying they did it because I should go somewhere better given how strong my scores and grades are.'
That was very nice of them!"
Very nice of them, indeed! You'd think they'd be tripping all over themselves to have her!
"The more he spoke..."
"A security guard that works at a grocery store I once worked at said that he had been in Iceland. I asked him about the penguins he saw. He blabbed on about species of penguins that he created on the spot and that he was stationed there for military purposes. The more he spoke, the more the lie snowballed."
Pathological liars can benefit from psychotherapy, which can pose its own challenges because the liar isn't in control of their lying and could begin lying to their therapist.
"Treatment will depend on what the person needs and what they respond to during therapy sessions," as noted by WebMD. "Finding a qualified, experienced therapist who can work with someone over the long term is the key to managing the condition.
If you or a loved one needs help, seek help today.
Have stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below.