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People Reveal The Computer Viruses They'd Give To People That Annoyed Them

In a society full of very particular, type A personalities, it's so easy to exacerbate minor issues to drive the general population nuts. For example, what if that guy repeatedly tapping his pencil on his desk IS actually doing it just to annoy you? Well, Redditor muchonada began hatching a devilishly annoying plan when they asked the internet:

If you could create a computer virus that could easily spread and affect millions of people around the globe, what harmless but super annoying effect would it have on their computers?

Here were some of the hand-wringing answers.

I've Got Another Puzzle For You

This a real virus i dealt with on a clients machine 11ish years ago (one of my very first jobs infact). After around 5-10 minutes after boot up the oompa loompa song would kick in and wouldn't stop short of mute or reboot. It had no negative effects other then playing the song on loop.

whAt's haPpenIng?

Randomly capitalize 1 out of 30 or so letters typed.

Revenge Of The 90s

The password prompt from Jurassic Park

"Ah ah ah, you didnt say the magic word"

The Voice

For anyone who ever played Black & White 2 -- the Lionhead game, not the Pokémon version -- there was a feature where it would occasionally whisper your name in a creepy voice.

I'd recreate that, based on the name registered to your email account when you logged in. Very rarely, say once every two weeks, and only if you were up on your computer between about 1am and 5am... but definitely and unmistakeably there.

The Name Is Deceiving

Before you launch chrome it says "Chrome has failed to launch". It would then launch without issue.

Millions of IT people would be pulling their hair out from all the customer "it works fine but I don't like it" calls.

Rrouble

At a randomized interval, on average 1% of the time you hit the 't' key it would register as a 'r' key.

Evil Genius

I would raise their text size by 1-2% every week, so they don't see any difference. Then after about 25-35%, I'd drop it back down to normal and make everyone strain their eyes to read the text. Mwahaha

Phantom Vibrate

Once every 6 minutes, the speakers make a noise like a phone on vibrate.

The Paperclip Strikes Back

Clippy the office assistant will always be there for you, overlaid on everything you ever open.

Maximum Annoyance

The first time you would click the "X" to close a window, the window would shift very slighly to the right to maximize the window instead.

Quiet Compliments

I'd make the PC speakers whisper nice things at random but far apart intervals, but just low enough that they would question if they were hearing things.

The Edge Of Sanity

A huge pop up that displays "Use Microsoft Edge instead" in the most obnoxious way possible whenever Firefox or chrome is opened. When the pop up is closed, launch Microsoft Edge.

Off-Time

It would Change their time zone but correct the time so it's the same as their actual time zone. So that all of their notifications would say "3h Ago" when it should say "Now".

Cute Or Obnoxious

I would install something like the chrome OwO extension so that everything on their computer looks like this:

Hewwo :3 Wewcome to iOS. Your safawi is out of date, pwease instaww the update.

Incog-greet-o

Whenever you opened incognito mode a window would pop up to tell you that people love you and to call your mother.

Woop, There It Is

Your computer would say "woop," on every click.

Impatience Is A Virtue

All web pages would load 87% of the way, then paused for a random amount of time between 7-27 seconds. If the user went to reload or go back, it would instantly load the rest of the page right before the refresh hit.

Singing Loud For All To Hear

When it detects a porn site and a video being played, the volume will go to 100% out of the in-built speakers... 5% of the time.

Tab-ula Rasa

An enthusiastic, sultry "More Daddy!" every time you open a new tab. And god help you if you restore a previous, tab-filled session...

Mouse Trap

Change the sensitivity of the mouse movement every day.

One day its slow and takes forever to move around.

Next day, you look at it hard enough and the cursor is flying all over the screen.

A Space Travesty

Every 50-100 clicks it would block the click and play the sound bite from 2001 A Space Oddessy "I'm sorry Dave. I can't let you do that."

Caught

Every time you would stalk your crush, it would notify them.

Space: TheFinalFrontier

The virus would remove all the spaces in any text file saved on that computer, and all emails. Soeverythingwouldcomeoutlikethis.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Try as I might, there are some true crime cases that I can't get out of my head. Some are frightening. Others are disturbing. And then there's that special category of cases that continue to haunt me and that I keep going back to.

I have always been especially perturbed by the case of Sylvia Likens, who in the mid-1960s was tortured by Gertrude Basniewski, a woman who took care of Likens while her parents were away on business. What makes the case especially concerning is the way Basniewski recruited her own children––and even children and teenagers around the neighborhood––to join her in the abuse. The case is one of the most infamous child abuse cases of all time and I warn you to read about it at your own risk. (If you're interested, the drama film An American Crime, featuring Catherine Keener as Basniewski and Elliott Page as Sylvia Likens, is one film about the case. The Girl Next Door, a horror film based on the events, stars Blanche Baker as a Basniewski surrogate.)

After Redditor litteredbirdnina asked the online community, "What true crime case haunts you?" people told us about the cases that keep them up at night.

Warning: Some sensitive material ahead.

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Raising children isn't for everybody. That is a cold, hard fact that everyone should really comprehend. Being a parent is one of the most, if not the most, important jobs in the world, it's a calling really. And being a good parent is essential. Being an unwanted human is the most devastating feeling in life. So that's why I get so aggravated when people try to push others to have children when they're not ready or are unsure. There is so much avoidable pain and heartache by just being honest.

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