We never want to tell ourselves the honest truth about our "friends." We want to believe that the way they're treating us is because of how hard they have it. Typically, we'll sacrifice ourselves before cutting people loose when in reality the best thing for us is to realize that they're a bad friend and it's time for them to go.
Reddit user, u/Shaeee03, wanted to know what surefire signs to keep an eye out for when they asked:
It's Always About Them, Never You
One sided conversations...always their drama and whining.
Or drama that they caused themselves, but you don't have the nerve to say that to their faces, so you just have to nod and say. 'Yeah' while they rant for ages.
Take, Take, TakeGiphy
Takes much more than they give
What are some good examples of "giving" to friends? And taking?
Gifts, money, attention, a ride home, a place to sleep, time, etcetera.
If you don't have money to offer, you can still give attention to your friends. It doesn't need to be constant attention, of course. But just checking in on each other every now and then, random phone calls, a visit every now and then.
What's Secret Is For The World
They tell others what you asked them to keep private
That's why you make up fake secrets to each friend to see who the mole is.
They Only Reach Out When They Need Something
I had a "friend", who always found me when he needed something, then forget about me for a couple of months/years.
I was there for him, when his family didn't talked with him because of his gf, but he refused to talk to me, when my mom died. Eventually I cut all contact with him.
Eggshells All Over The Place
You're walking on eggshells all the time around them because you're never sure what'll make them mad/set them off.
You start dreading seeing them/spending time with them.
You feel like you have to justify their presence in your life to your other friends and family.
They Can Never Adjust Their Schedule
Their time is more valuable than yours.
Like I have this friend that would show up to my D&D games 4 hours after everyone else because of a really stupid reason. And he later showed up at the end of my other friend's wedding because "he wanted to get some tea before coming." (He was basically the best man... even though we don't have that in our culture)
"I Can Swing By For A While, But I Got A Party Afterwards..."
When they use you as a "hanging out person until someone I like more comes"
You Can Never Relax
If you always feel the need to impress them just to be included.
If You're Not Really Yourself, Then Who Are You?Giphy
When you can't be yourself near them.
Super important to find friends who support and like you for who you are in my opinion...
When They Drain Your Mana Instead Of Refilling It
If you feel unhappy and exhausted after talking/ being with them, you probably shouldn't do that anymore
Yeah some people really just drain the emotional and mental energy out of you