People often rush to judgement with no basis for their opinions, and it can hurt. Like putting down others for holding certain jobs, or assuming that only children are jerks.
bloblife34 asked: What is the rudest assumption someone has made about you?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
15. Why do people shame honest work?
I went to Walmart while taking a break from painting the nursery. I was fairly spattered in paint and trying to pick a pizza. I heard a lady tell her kid "that is why you go to school so you don't have a job like that." There are layers to just how f*cked up that was. Not the least of which is house painters can make pretty decent money.
The stupidest thing is that a lot of people that work with their hands make hella monies. Like plumbers make bank, and they will always be in need because we will always need to take sh*ts.
14. It costs $0.00 to not do this.
At a a past employer someone complained to HR that I was allegedly playing inappropriate Rap music and too loudly at my desk. I get called into HR to explain myself and told them it wasn't me…it was the white guy sitting two desks behind me and he came in to admit it because he didn't think it was such a big deal to be in trouble for.
It was probably the fact that since I was the only black guy where I sit in a certain part of the office, they just naturally assumed it was me. You can imagine the sheer embarrassment on part of HR that came after.
Edit: Rather than raise fire and brimstone, I just gently let them down and told them it was fine, let's move on and try to forget it. I just thought it'd be more professional to just do that so there would be no animosity in the future.
13. What does this even mean?
I had an Emergency Room doctor tell me I looked like an anti-vaxxer.
ER doctors are notorious for being dicks. Encountered my share of them. When I went in for a miscarriage, the ER doctor said "most women take care of that at home by themselves" :(.
I think there is a lot more PTSD and compassion fatigue in the medical field than they care to admit.
12. Dating is embarrassing.
Someone thought "just because I'm ugly id date anyone."
"Why won't you date her? Are you gay?"
"No, I just don't like her"
"But she is prettier than you... "
Happens strangely often, even if not with those exact words.
Conversely, gay people have preferences too and won't date somebody just because they're gay.
11. At least you look young?
I was in target and stopped to look at a really cute swim suit for a baby that was on display in the aisle. Two older ladies passed by and one of them said "she's way too young to have a child" nose in the air. I was in my mid 20s, probably the same age or older than she was when she had kids.
I got really dirty looks when I was an au pair and I had two boys to take care of 2 and 4, the 2 y.o. couldn't say my name so he called me da. Some ladies heard that and they said to each other down disgusting I was to have to kids so young.
Also when I was 14 my niece was born, I liked to take her on walks. One time I was with my sister, and some woman asked us why we didn't got an abortion because we were to young to raise a child. My sister got angry at the woman, so the woman kept her mouth shut and walked away.
Why don't people mind their own business, when they don't know the relationship between people.
This happened to me so much. My brother was born when i was 16. People were so f*cking rude. Even if they didnt say anything they glared. People liked to make comments about closing my legs.
10. Racism is alive and well in America.
That I'm probably just some uneducated immigrant who can't speak English.
I'm Mexican, I drive a truck for a living. I make more doing this than putting my bachelor's to use. I don't talk much because I'm tired, grumpy and depressed all of the time.
Long haul truckers make more than me with my 2 fancy degrees, yeah.
I was talking with a friend of mine in Spanish (mine is pretty poor, I was practicing) outside of a bar after work, and some old white guy walked by and told me "don't encourage the Mexicans, make them learn English!" My buddy just rolled his eyes, dude was working on an English degree through Texas Tech.
9. You never know when someone is in pain.
That I was being horribly disrespectful in a church ceremony.
In reality I was my little sisters Confirmation sponsor (Catholic rite) and was also in end stage liver failure. Was on lots of meds for pain and my brain was marinating in ammonia so I had several head drops (like when you're falling asleep) during the 2 hour mass. Woman next to me berates me for being 'so rude and disrespectful'
Luckily my mom found her afterwards and tore her a new one.
Did you seize that hag's liver and make it your own?
Nah, would've been too fatty anyways (lady was quite hefty) my aunt was in the process of getting tested and was a match about a month or two later. September 30 2009 we went into surgery and 14 hours later I came out. Celebrating my 10th liverversarry this year! Going to send her an awesome bouquet and maybe a spa certificate. She was my living donor of course so I got about 75% of her liver. Now we both have full grown healthy livers!
It's really hard to adequately thank someone for saving your life.
It's also weird to think that while I'm 28, my liver is 57.
8. Well that's rude.
I worked with a girl who came from a big family and when I told her that I'm an only child, she went on a rant about how I must be spoiled and that my parents "f*cked me up" by doing everything for me. As if that's the only outcome that an only child could have.
My (only) sister died when I was 15, when people I don't particularly know or like very well ask me if I have siblings, I usually just say no - I don't like to talk about it and it's a conversation killer. But it's surprising how many have replied with: 'oh, only child? You must have been spoiled.' I love then saying: 'well I had a sister but she died.' The look on their face is priceless 😂 Keep your judgements to yourselves, people.
7. Sexism, no fun.
When I was working at Best Buy in my teens/early 20's, people would ask me to my face if I could go and get a "male" worker to answer their questions because they felt "more comfortable" asking them about it (stuff like game consoles, cameras and equipment, ipods, that was the area I worked in). The fun part was watching the customers faces malfunction that male coworker would walk them back over to me, because I knew what I was doing in that department and they only knew their stuff when it came to TVs or washers and dryers.
6. We are not short we are fun-sized.
A girl I met for a date on an app once said to me at the end of the date that I should see her again because a guy of my height won't have many options.
I don't understand this height obsession. My ex was my height and it didn't bother me. He even added two inches for his hair on his license height but I knew the truth.
Yeah it's weird. It was also a weird way of putting herself down as well, 'you can't get anyone else, so settle for me.'
5. Poor assumption.
That I'm lazy because I really enjoy video games. Bitch, I have a full-time job, House, car, wife, and a dog. I also do most of the cooking, cleaning, dog-walking, and general chores around the house because my wife works crazy hours. Lazy my ass.
4. Pity date? Ouch.
That I was stupid enough not to figure out that the guy I had a crush on in middle school was paid to go on a date with me as a joke. 10+ years later I'm still pissed. Though based on how he's doing now I dodged a real bullet there lmao
3. I mean same though.
I was hanging out a friend and it had been about a month after we had met etc, and they said, "The best thing about you is that you're happy being mediocre." This felt especially bad as at that time in my life, I had just had a string of failures and was already pretty down.
2. Just blow it off.
I have ADHD so I talk fast, I'm super tall and lanky and also suffer from all year around allergies. Multiple times I've been told I have a cocaine addiction.
This is very funny. For about 10 years my friends had convinced me that one of my friends was a blow addict because of the same afflictions you suffer from.
They had me convinced he was injecting that into his toes.
He also used to work at a pizza joint and would bring pizza by just because, and they also had me convinced that it was to pay off his blow debt.
1. Boomers are the worst.
"No wonder you're so depressed you're a lazy millennial who thinks everything is handed to him."
This is so common. They say it right to your face too and think its acceptable. They'll sh*t all over an entire generation right to that generations face.
They and their peers bore and raised the generation they say are slagging off. Baffles me.
Right, they where the parents who came up with participation trophies.
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
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"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
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"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
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"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
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"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
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"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
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"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.