Sometimes it is merely the thought that counts. One doesn't have to go into hock to shower someone with attention and material love. And often a truly creative and witty gag gift can go a long way. Now don't get me wrong diamonds and fancy vacations are fabulous but so are small, even "cheap" gestures. We can all use a good backscratcher. Or a heavy duty flashlight. And new pairs of socks and underwear are imperative. And who amongst us wouldn't love a 'Golden Girls' chia pet?
Redditor u/salawm wanted to know what gifts some of us would except when money isn't the objective by asking.... What is the cheapest gift you'd love to receive?
Soiled Love....
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True story; I gave my wife dirt for our 10th wedding anniversary.
My wife and I tried to see who could give each other the cheapest anniversary gift. I called up a friend of mine, that went to the exact location we were married, and dug up a small jar of dirt and mailed it to me. I spent about $3 at Hobby Lobby on a tiny jar and some ribbon.
I won. CalmEnthusiasm
Risk it All!
I'd love to just spend time with friends and play a full game of Risk. I'm at the point now where I don't really want things... I'd just rather spend time with people. AlexanderTox
RISK is only worth it if everyone is at the same playing level or on the same page. Imagine strategy like chess with multiple people. If one person gets it way more than the rest it's no fun for anyone. SuSpence11
Pickle Tickle...
A pickle wedge.
My wife came home from work one day and announces "I have a pickle for you if you'd like it." She saved the pickle wedge from her sandwich because she knew I liked them.
I'd marry her again if I could. superredmenace
Fidget Addiction....
My son (eight) fell victim to the fidget spinner craze this spring. So of course, I bought him one, because it's $5 and why the heck not? Anyway, Mother's Day rolled around, and he was so upset because he didn't have any money to get me a present. So he went into his room and wrapped up his fidget spinner (at the time, his most prized possession) and gave it to me.
I hugged him and thanked him immensely, and then asked if maybe we could just share it, since it's no fun playing by yourself. So he was happy too, and I didn't take his favorite toy. Fast forward a few months and we now have eight fidget spinners between us, because it's become this little inside thing where we buy each other one whenever we get a chance. SoraxvDingy
Handwritten....
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A handwritten letter telling me how much i impacted a student. I get a couple a year and they are always my favorite thing. jamin342
Lifes Go-to...
When you're sick and someone shows up with an aluminum casserole pan with comfort food. I don't even care what's inside--mac and cheese, shepherd's pie, hot dish, tuna noodle, lasagna, enchiladas, scalloped potatoes, or just some cheesy grits. A little note with good tidings and the baking instructions. It fills your house with a wonderful smell and fills your belly with hot food made by a human. That is how to make a friend forever.
Next time you hear that someone's having a crappy time at life, thoughts and prayers be damned, send them casseroles! It's like a giant billboard-sized message to someone that tells them that they matter and are cared for. CurlSagan
The Ole Standard....
Socks are always great. Seems like all my socks gets holes on them all the time. MeesterChicken
I have found that in terms of quality and durability, there is a big gap between cheap socks and expensive socks. Reddit
Sturdy socks: 'Gold Toe' socks are made with re-enforced toes so that they don't wear out too soon. The socks became popular during the Great Depression when money was tight but customers had a hard time telling them apart from other socks on display. Gold thread was added to the toes to help make them stand out. IndyScent
Those eyes....
For an anniversary, I woke up and my boyfriend threw a plushy owl on my face. Out of literally nowhere. He isn't very good with gifts or anniversaries, and we hadn't at all planned on buying something for each other. Realizing that he must've just seen that little plushy, thought about me (I love owls) and bought it for me was just the sweetest thing ever. I love that man so much. KimToq
Safe Home....
12$ cash from an old Australian couple to get home. The bus company wouldn't split my 25$ ticket between the 13$ I had cash and the 19$ I had on my debit card, they were behind me in line. I never even got their names. Not that they are ever going to read this, but thank you. EconomyViolinist
Sponsored by Pepsi....
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i got a bottle of pepsi my little brother knew i was low when i was asleep so when he went shopping he snagged me one made my day. Ithasbegunagain
Hold ME!
A hug. They're the greatest things on the planet. UnPhayzable
A sincere hug is even better. My crush gave me one about 4 weeks ago and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy. It also helps me sleep. (I have trouble sleeping due to anxiety, not because I am kinda creepy lol.) HappyGoLuckyFox
A Correspondence...
A hand written letter or postcard, like, actually in the mail. MorasEscritoras
Love is in the Air....
For my son to say "I love you" for the first time. He's very good at hugging and kissing, so I know he does, but he hasn't really gotten around to learning the phrase yet (too busy talking about everything else, I suppose). I just can't wait to hear him say it. He's my favorite person in the world. Rainbowcoloredpoop
Time after Time...
Time. There's never enough time to do everything that's needed let alone relax. ThisHandIsMyHand
Rock With You...
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As silly as it sounds I really love rocks (and also crystals fossils). I'm always happy when someone finds a neat rock (and occasionally fossils) to give to me, I'm also the easiest person to shop for if you're going off on vacation cause I just ask for rocks. Once my friend brought me back a bunch of dead coral from vacation thinking it was just rocks which was also really cool! artificialn0cturne
You Gotta eat!
I love getting food, it´s my favorite gift. A chocolate, a bag of chips, a beer ... that makes me genuinely happy, specially if you can share with the person that gave it to you. feto_ingeniero
Being Nailed!
Someone mentioned back scratches. YES.
My wife will simply not scratch my back the way I want for fear of hurting me, and I cannot convince her to do it harder or longer, despite the fact that whenever she does give me a bit of a scratch, I moan as if Heather Brooke is working her magic.
I'm not that physically fragile, love! Dig those nails in and WORK IT. xenobuzz
That's my Ice Cream!
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Ben n Jerry's Ice cream. Some limited edition flavor. loganlogwood
A couple months ago I grabbed a few pints of B&J pumpkin cheesecake right before I figured they'd stop stocking it. A couple weeks ago I went to get my last pint out of the freezer and it was gone. Turns out my sister ate it. I was crushed. IcarianSkies
Love is in the Air..
Love. wildadragon
Thank you for going through and responding to all of the love ones saying "I love you" I noticed your name on an earlier one, and on this one too. Just wanted to thank you. QuitePugly
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Apparently, their sense of humor has no bounds. Curious to hear from drill sergeants online, Redditor darkstalker1000 asked:
"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
Longheld Punishment
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
Confusing Paycheck
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
Eye-Level Reprimand
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
The Stain
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
– ScootaFL
Ambush Training
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
The Replacement
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
– Konebred
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.