Some of us have less hair than others. Some of us have asthma or nerve problems. Some of us have bad knees. Cancer might be likelier in our families, perhaps other diseases, too.
Let's count the ways.
"My father's family..."
My father's family has early onset dementia, my mother's family all live to be 100.
So I'm destined to lose my mind at 50, and spend the next half century wondering were I left it.
Absolutely sh*tty teeth. Some people don't have to wear braces. It was crucial for me to wear them but my parents weren't educated enough on the matter to make me wear them. So now, at 28 i've had more teeth surgeries than i can count, finally have them straight but the price and the pain i had to endure for them is 20 times more than i would have 20 years ago.
"Both my grandfathers..."
Both my grandfathers dropped dead at age 59.
Both from cerebral hemorrhages.
I have high blood pressure.
I'll turn 52 this summer.
"Twin Gets Nothing..."
Twin Gets Nothing, I Get:
•4th-Generation Early Arthritis
"Look back over old family photos..."
Looking back over old family photos, it seems to be a common feature. At least it'll clear up at some point.
"On my mom's side..."
On my mom's side, all my uncles were bald at 20 but have killer facial hair.
On my dad's side, they can't grow beards but have full heads of hair until old age.
I'm both bald and beardless at 21.
"My parents divorced..."
My parents divorced when I was 2. They both remarried and had more kids. My mom had 3 more, my dad had 2 more. I'm the only one who has to wear glasses. Neither of my parents nor their parents have ever had them.
I can't see my own goddamned face in the bathroom mirror without glasses.
"My younger brother..."
Unibrow. My younger brother has thin half-eyebrows. Me (F) has one long, thick and bushy brow that goes from one hairline clear across to the other.
That rat bastard brother is also nearly completely hairless on his arms and legs. And blond.
I sneeze 1-2 times whenever I walk outside on a sunny day, just like my Dad.
Also depression. Thanks Dad!
"It's kinda weird..."
Psoriasis all over my torso/legs/scalp.
It's kinda weird to bring it up on a first date as well, so I got ghosted an awful lot before finally getting it under control.
"It's cool tho..."
5'2 manlet thanks to mom and dad being 5'2. Meanwhile all the rest of the men in family on both sides (uncles and cousins) somehow managed to be 5'10 or taller by 18.
It's cool tho cuz its 2019 and I got internet.
"My brother won."
Both of my parents are/were good-looking people. Both are/were charming and people are drawn to them. My brother is the same way. He's tall, has a nice smile, long black hair and everyone comments on his beautiful eyes.
I'm hideously ugly and people tend to hate me for no reason.
My brother won. He looks like some sort of Viking god. I look like a grumpy hobbit who has too many second breakfasts.
And a thousand tiny things..."
Let me count the ways...
I have a chronic blood sugar disorder (reactive hypoglycemia, not diabetes)
My skin actively tries to revolt, it's so sensitive
My vision is absolutely terrible, I'm considered legally blind without my contacts/glasses
And a thousand tiny things that don't matter alone but all together make my body an absolute bitch to deal with on most days.
"I've got crippling anxiety..."
I've got crippling anxiety, which runs on my dad's side. Neither of my siblings have issues with anxiety.
Also, my boobs started majorly sagging as soon as they grew in, which seems to be common with the women on my mom's side.
"I have really long toes..."
I have really long toes, like realy long toes. I can pick up an apple with one foot.
This creeps my wife out to no end and she demands I wear socks to bed. Also as a side note my 3 daughters also have really long toes witch I find weird considering they look like clones of my wife otherwise.
My family has a history of kidney failure on one end and severe mental illness on the other.
"I seemingly won..."
I seemingly won the genetic lottery. I'm 6'5 and highly athletic, like measuring in the top 15% of athletes at the NFL combine athletic. My downfall you ask? Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. It caused me to have multiple ligament and labral tears, joint pain, and fascia tears. All of which raised massive red flags to scouts and prevented me from becoming a successful enough college athlete to take the next step to professional athlete.
"My father never..."
My father never grew a full set of adult teeth and still has some of his baby teeth in his late 50s as a result. I'm pretty sure I inherited the same issue from him. In addition, two of my adult teeth were growing in sideways and I had to have their growth corrected via surgery when I was fifteen.
"I have two..."
I have two genetic autoimmune disorders. Also IBS. And couple of mental issues, which luckily with medication is under control.
"I have extra ribs..."
I have extra ribs which makes it harder to lean sideways or touch my toes. Basically I'm even less flexible than I would have otherwise been.