We all have cringeworthy memories that keep us up at night, things that make our faces sweat at 3 a.m. with the awful realization that yes, you did do that.
Today's burning question from Redditor skrt99: "What cringe thing that you did in your lifetime keeps you up at night?"
Some of you might find you're in good company.
"It was my first day in high school..."
It was my first day in high school and we were supposed to introduce ourselves through a skit, well I introduced myself like I was a WWE wrestler, complete with my own "ring-entrance walk", chants that I thought were supposed to hype up my new classmates and even had a made up wrestler nickname LMAO
I still wake up sweating every now and then remembering that.
"Lie about stupid things..."
Lie about stupid things like how rich my parents were, places we'd travelled to, etc (I grew up dirt poor with struggling parents).
"I once passed..."
I once passed what might've been the most disgusting sounding fart of all time, in front of a 100+ person class while giving a presentation. To try to cover it up, I said "well, excuse you, professor."
My friends still haven't let me live that one down.
"We both just sat in silence."
My crush came to my house to do a high school project. It involved the Internet and while she sat next to me she tried to navigate to Google on my computer. Unfortunately, the address bar auto-filled and took her to my last Google search... page two of results for her name. Every link had been clicked. We both just sat in silence.
"Asked my crush out..."
Asked my crush out, she said "omg ew what the f*ck" and ran away. Her friends nearby looked like they had witnessed a murder.
I am still haunted by this.
"In an attempt to be less awkward..."
Giphy
In an attempt to be less awkward I'm trying to take more time to think before I speak.
This backfired in a big way in December.
I ran into a cousin who I hadn't seen for a few years. He said hello and I was trying to think of a greeting since it was just about Christmas. I thought I would say seasons greetings or something but then I realized that might be a bit lame.
So while I'm internalizing this in my head I'm basically just staring at the guy. Who is probably thinking I don't recognize him so now I begin to panic. Now I will need to include his name in this greeting so he doesn't think I'm rude.
It's been a long time, I still haven't said anything. It feels like the most time ever since anyone has ever talked.
So in my head I'm like okay SAY SOMETHING. Anything has got to be better than this.
But in my panic all words leave my brain and what comes out is....
"CONGRATULATIONS..... Joshua"
"I was very shy growing up..."
I was very shy growing up and had trouble carrying a conversation. Writing was a strength, though, so I decided to hand write a note to the girl I had a crush on and put it in her locker (cringe by itself).
To my surprise, she came up and started talking to me the next day after school. I had imagined her most likely ignoring my letter or if anything writing back. I was so extremely flustered all I could focus on was her smile and the heat of my full-face blush.
She finished what she had to say and walked away.
Then, to my horror, I realized I had no idea what she said.
"I was still inexperienced..."
I was still inexperienced with my GF at the time and thought it would be spontaneous and hot to pick her up off the bed and kiss her with her legs wrapped me standing up.
However, she had no idea I was intending to do this so I struggled to lift her dead weight for a few agonising seconds. Then I thought "f-- this" and used all my strength to lift her up but I overdid it causing her to hit her head on the ceiling light, I drop her out of shock and she hits her head on the end of the bed.
She was completely okay and we laughed about it but I was so embarrassed.
"Every now and again..."
Every now and again I go back to my very first almost sexual encounter with a girl. She's got her hand on my thigh, she's running a finger over my pants, she just told me I have really pretty eyes. Now would probably be a pretty good time to kiss her. Nah, I decided I needed to return the compliment, but I couldn't think of anything, so I blurted out that she was a butterface. Two things: she was NOT a butterface, and she didn't know what a butterface was. She asked me. I explained it to her. I remained a virgin for six more years.
"I made the mistake..."
I made the mistake in middle school to wear white jeans to school. Everyone of my "friends" kept laughing and whispering behind my back the entire day. It wasn't until my last class a girl I sat with was kind enough to tell me I had period blood on my pants, and gave me her hoodie to tie around my waist. I had given presentations in 3 classes that day so everyone in my classes knew I was on my period. Luckily it was a lighter flow day and it wasn't like a murder scene. Mom let me stay home from school for the remainder of my period and I lost all my friends in the process because they were assh*les.
But now I'm best friends with the girl who gave me her hoodie so I've got that going for me.
"When I was a teenager..."
When I was a teenager I had a little crush on one of my female friends.
One day she starts hitting on me and suggestively nibbles and sucks on my finger. I get all nervous and jokingly say "Hey you don't know where that finger's been!"
I wake up some nights in a cold sweat remembering the look on her face at that moment.
"I lied to my counselors..."
Giphy
I lied to my counselors about getting into a certain pre-med program that apparently was a MUCH bigger deal than I thought it was right before leaving for college... I had gotten into A premed program but when asked on the spot I couldn't recall and I just agreed to whatever name was thrown out for it. They got super excited and congratulated me and I assumed that would be the end of it.
Well... They made a huge announcement the next day over the PA system of the School congratulating me and even gave me a certificate and took pictures shaking my hand... teachers were congratulating me all day and I even started getting special treatment.
I'm sure they eventually found our after I left the and I've been to embarrassed to even visit my old high school...
"I had a massive inappropriate crush..."
I had a massive inappropriate crush on my married math teacher in middle school. The poor man was clearly not at all endeared by it. Puberty was very cruel to me and I was not cute.
On the last day of school, I was too shy to approach him to sign my yearbook, so I had my friends do it. He signed it and suddenly that's when I worked up the courage to go ask him myself.
He awkwardly signed it a second time and didn't say a word to me.
"It all started..."
I accidentally started a cult in high school.
It all started with my group of friends having some laughs. I started to joke about being a "family" and gave everyone weird family roles. Like you're the weird aunt, and you're the grandma, etc. But then there was one weird chick who started taking it super seriously and wrote down everyone's "roles".
Then she started adding tons of people and even started doing strange rituals to initiate people into the "family". At that point I bailed.
They ended up vandalizing property, threatening students and teachers, sent out death threats, etc. The police actually started watching them as a serious gang threat.
All because of some f*ckin joke i made.
"My first party..."
I went to my first party with alcohol and I was flirting with this random girl, she gave me drink after drink until I was feeling pretty bad.
We ended up kissing. I threw up on her face.
Did you check the forecast?
"We sure are having a lot of weather"- r_Ju_Tacular.
"As a British person, the conversation usually starts like this:"
“'You alright?'"
”Yeah you?”'
“'Yeah not too bad, weathers a bit sh*t innit?'”
“'Yeah”'.
"The end."- chelstippins
Cloud Storm GIF by Weather UndergroundGiphyWhy beat around the bush?
"Straight to politics and religion."- Turd_Ferguson009.
Just let it happen.
"Make an observation."
"Literally anything."It helps if it’s something about them like an article of clothing that catches your eye, something they’re doing, anything that you can relate to or are interested in but it doesn’t have to be."
"It can be something in the environment that is drawing both of your attention."
"People bullsh*t about the weather all the time."
"Make a comment about it, gauge their willingness to talk about it to you and build off of what you get from the response."
"If all you get is 'haha yeah', leave it."
"No shame in silence."
"Some people just don’t want to talk."
I"f you’re talking about the weather, 'Man it’s a great day out today!'"
“'Yeah absolutely! I drove here with my windows down all the way here!'”
"Boom, you’ve got something to latch onto."
"They probably enjoy getting outside for some fresh air. "
"They probably enjoy driving."
"Ask about their car."
"Ask if they go on drives a lot."
"Ask if they do outdoor stuff."
"What kind of outdoor stuff?"
"Once you’ve got something to work with, the key is to ask."
"Let them do the talking."
"People love talking about themselves."
"You learn some light hearted things about the stranger, they feel more comfortable, and you can add bits and bobs of your own experiences in response so they get to know you too."
"It works in literally any situation."
"From an elevator ride to a first date."
"It’s so easy to personalize small talk and it makes it so much less uncomfortable."- 1arrocknroll.
"But enough about me, what do you think about me?"
"Usually people love to talk about themselves, so a few questions about them and some follow up questions to their answers usually does it."- I_can_see_the_music.
For Me GIF by Liz HuettGiphy"Food, glorious food..."
"Food."
"People typically love food."
"I mention I’m new/newer to an area."
"And ask them what they like, where they eat out."
"Usually works and people have their choices validated and I always know where to find good local snacks."- TheProfWife.
Pluto Flyby GIFCan you believe it?
"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"- housemuncher.
Nothing!
"As a Norwegian - we leave strangers alone."
"No need to bother them."- neihuffda.
No Idea Reaction GIF by BounceGiphyThe sky's the limit.
"So, do you like stuff?"- Bwon669.
All of these seem like surefire ways to get a conversation started.
But use cautiously, as who knows how long it will take these conversations to end.
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