People Reveal Which Jobs Exist Merely Because Humanity Is Stupid
"Man, we are stupid sometimes."
We can all admit this to ourselves: Sometimes, humans don't always have the brightest ideas. Think about it. Common knowledge is, "Don't stick your tongue in an electrical socket," right? That HAD to come from somewhere. Someone HAD to do that first for us to learn not to do it again. We need to police ourselves from ourselves, and these are the jobs to do so.
Reddit user, u/DeityOfUnderworld26, asked the best dumb ways we have to monitor humanity when they asked:
What job exists because we are stupid?
Stair Location Specialist
I had a temp job in a posh department store a few years ago. The escalator going down from floor 2 to floor 1 had to be taken out to be replaced which took a month. Despite the many, many notices and the signs directing people to the lifts & stairs, a member of staff had to stand at the top of the closed escalator just to direct the public to the lifts and stairs.
It broke peoples' brains and it was worrying to see how many tried to get past the barriers, or got pissed and shouty because there was no escalator. Like holy sh-t how did people cope before moving stairs were invented.
Dirt Putter-Onner
Met a guy once - his job was putting dirt on potatoes. Somebody along the supply chain washed them pretty well by the time they got to the grocery. People didn't trust the clean potatoes. So one guy had to put dirt back on them to make them more authentic.
Disney Traffic Alert-er
On crowded nights, Disney Springs has employees working at crosswalks at the intersections from the overflow parking lots to tell people when they can cross. They're normal intersections that have lights telling you when you can cross. People just don't acknowledge them and will try to run across oncoming traffic.
Baltimore Traffic Alert-er...?
Traffic police in Baltimore.
I was there this summer and the gridlock was atrocious. People push their way into the intersection, the light turns red, and they are stuck there until the light is about to turn red in the opposite direction, at which point those people push their way into the intersection and the cycle perpetuates. During rush hour, they have police standing in the intersections--not to direct traffic, though, simply to hold their hand up when the light turns red so that people don't push their way into the intersection. Basically, a human has to stand in traffic for hours JUST to tell the drivers what the lights mean. It was unbelievable.
D-Pic Stopper
My husband is a Labor and Employment attorney for a massive company and gives monthly seminars to everyone there to not send penis pics/sexually harass one another.
And like clockwork someone in that room does it within a couple weeks.
Official Copy-Paster
I have a side gig doing data entry. I earn $25 USD/hr copying and pasting stuff from a webpage in to an excel spreadsheet, while doing some light formatting.
You could potentially get excel to do that automatically
Litter Control Personnel
Litter control personnel for public parks and beaches.
I remember when I was a kid my Mom used to take my brother and I to this park across town.
One time I had a wrapper from a piece of gum in my pocket and I walked to the trash to throw it away. A police officer happened to be just patrolling the parking lot and saw me throw the wrapper away. He came over to me and told me I did a good job by doing that and he gave me a coupon for a free ice cream at the DQ. I told him I was just doing what I thought everyone else was doing. He told me that wasn't the case.
I don't get how hard it is to just throw something in the trash.
At my university we have a person who's job is to stand by the garbage area and make sure people dispose of their trash appropriately
IT Crowd Member
Tier 1 IT support.
Did you try turning it off and on again? Sure you did. Could you blow into the cable to make sure there is no dust in the connec– Oh the cable was loose? How surprising! Have a good day.
Psychic Detective....No Joke. That's It.
Psychic detectives: because why trust a professional detective to be intuitive?
Stingray Notifiers
I work in an aquarium and we have what I can best describe as floor guides, which are just staff that interact with people and share interesting info about the exhibits. Realistically while that is part of the job the main reason for these people being out there is to tell people to keep their hands out of the Stingray and Turtle tanks because for some reason beyond my comprehension people don't naturally get this concept.
At least once a day I hear "well why can't I touch the stingrays" and so far my all time favorite outcome of that question was a kid who said "They have the word Sting in their name". I have wanted to say that so many times, but am unable.
Nose Guard Installation Experts
The guys who install rubber padding around telephone and light poles so when we walk and text, we dont break our noses walking straight into them.
Fire Prevention Marketer
In great 'murica there was/is a whole campaign where designers, marketers, PR staff, mascots and what not were organized to create a bear with a hat, to teach people not to set fire to forests.
Law Enforcement Advisor...?
Attorney.
90% of our work is spent on 10% of our clients. Then they blame us for getting in trouble after doing what we told them not to do.
Basically stupid people keep us employed.
Flat Tummy Tea Sales Expert
All the jobs at MLM companies.
(Instagram ladies selling flat tummy teas with 'entrepreneur' written in your bio... I am looking at you!)
Baggage Carousel Switch Flipper
There was a new baggage carousel built in my local international airport
My friend was a temp worker got assigned to work at the airport watching the baggage carousel circuit breaker in case it tripped again.
Twitter-er Verification-er
Twitter verification people
One time I made a Twitter account and tried to send someone something and my account got locked and when I was trying to put my phone number in and it said it wasn't supported, and I was like "WTF IS THIS GARBAGE!?!" and Googled how to unlock it and it gave me the same result and no matter how many times I put the number in, it always came up bad.
GET IT FIXED TWITTER!!!
...sigh....We Should Be Better Than This
Being a mod on reddit to delete racist and sexist jokes.
Button Presser...
In India we have plenty of such jobs (for obvious reason).
The most ridiculous one is LiftMan - He sits in the elevators all day pressing buttons for people.
Really? How Are These Still Around?
I'm a self serve gas station attendant.
Honestly, the only reason i'm here is to slap the emergency stop button if someone starts pumping gas outside their car/gas can. Oh, and shut off the pumps when I leave.
Fortnite Coach. No, That's Not A Joke Either.
Fortnite coaches.
lies. this isn't real. this can't be real
EDIT: I have been getting a lot of comments and I feel like a lot of people misinterpreted me. I meant this as a joke first because you know how everyone hates Fortnite. I personally love videogames and seeing this is amazing to me. I totally support it.
H/T: Reddit
The Most Unprofessional Thing A Doctor Has Ever Said To A Patient
Reddit user Monsah asked: 'What is the most unprofessional thing a doctor has said to you?'
National Cancer Institute on Unsplash
"I shall do by my patients as I would be done by; shall obtain consultation whenever I or they desire; shall include them to the extent they wish in all important decisions; and shall minimize suffering whenever a cure cannot be obtained, understanding that a dignified death is an important goal in everyone's life."
~ English translation of the modern abridged Hippocratic Oath
It is the hope of those seeking medical help that the medical professionals providing it will be just that—professional.
But no profession is immune to bad days, bad attitudes or bad apples.
Reddit user Monsah asked:
"What is the most unprofessional thing a doctor has said to you?"
Reproductive Health
"I was being treated on week 2 with medication for an ectopic pregnancy—fetus in the fallopian tube, 0% chance for baby, very small chance for myself to live if not taken care of. I was told to go to the ER if I developed severe pain."
"I developed severe pain and went to the ER."
"The doctor on call sat there and tried to casually discuss what kind of pain meds I might like WITH MY HUSBAND as I was writhing in pain on the bed. Husband insists doc should just make a decision and give me the meds now."
"Finally gave me a pain pill and told me no need for an ultrasound, just did some bloodwork for my file. I go home and wait it out with a script for pain meds."
"I told him the pain was severe and could be the tube bursting and he told me that miscarriages just hurt."
"I went into the gyno treating me 2 days later and he took one look at me and booked me for emergency surgery. The tube had burst and I had so much internal bleeding that they had to have a general surgeon assist in the cleanup in my abdomen."
"My bowels were adhering to the broken tube and had to be carefully separated. Later, my doc told me I was very lucky and the moron at the ER should have sent me in to an ultrasound based on the pain alone."
"The blood work was apparently alarming."
"Went back for an IV to the same sh*tty ER a few months after. That same sh*t ER doc checked my abdomen and saw the surgery scars."
"He commented I must have recently had an operation!"
"I told him 'yeah, you misdiagnosed my burst ectopic pregnancy and I had to get emergency surgery at a different hospital'. He didn't say sh*t after that."
"If I had the money, I would sue the a**hole."
~ poppykayak
"I also had an ectopic several years ago. I had missed my period and suspected being pregnant."
"A week later had severe pain where I couldn’t stand up and walk and wasn’t sure if it was my period coming on. Went to an urgent care and they confirmed I was pregnant but probably having a miscarriage."
"The pain was bad in my side, and I even suspected ectopic—but the male doctor there said miscarriages are painful and he knows what ectopic pain should look like, and that’s definitely not what I have."
"He told me to go home and just basically rest."
"So I believed him, and headed out—a nurse, female, stopped me in the front lobby and strongly insisted I go to the ER. My husband also wouldn’t let me just brush it off and took me in."
"At the ER they did an ultrasound and my entire abdomen was filled with fluid. I had emergency surgery and got really lucky with a rare ectopic that exploded backwards into my peritoneal cavity (called a tubal abortion) and got away without a ruptured ovary."
"The female surgeon said that in her 20 year career she had never seen a case like mine."
"Still sucked, and f'k that first doctor."
~ pheonixrising23
"Doctor said that either I cheated or my husband did because that kind of cervical pain was always chlamydia."
"It was an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured and resulted in emergency life-saving surgery. But thanks for listening doctor!"
"My personal OB happened to be at the hospital that night and came to tell me the news herself, giving him the angriest look I’ve ever seen in a professional setting."
~ grannywanda9
"I’d been sent by ambulance from our local urgent care to a hospital due to kidney pain and a funny shadow on my xray. Emergency room doctor was insistent 'it must be a STI' despite me having no genital symptoms, and he demanded to do a pelvic exam."
"This doctor aggressively tried to mimic my pain from the inside by jamming his hand up my vag. The nurse chaperone looked embarrassed when I said to the doctor, 'if you’re not careful, you’ll lose your watch up there'."
"He then discharged me from the hospital at 3 am saying he couldn’t find anything wrong with me."
"At 9 am the original urgent care doc called back since she saw I was discharged but my blood tests were back and I was septic."
~ Omissionsoftheomen
Digestive Health
"My older sister had unbearable GI issues for years growing up."
"Pediatrician told our parents that 'children get tummy aches' and to try peppermint Altoids.
"She ended up having emergency surgery where they had to remove her entire large intestine because it was necrotic and had tumors.
"Permanent colostomy by the time she was 14."
~ Currentlyunsureatm
"Both my parents are doctors, a Pediatrician and a Pulmonologist/ICU doc."
"Since 4TH GRADE I’d had very frequent upset stomachs and pain. I was always told 'it can just happen' or 'it’s too hard to figure out'."
"It got to the point where when I had BLEEDING from my intestines I didn’t want to say anything cause I thought I’d be brushed off. This was until I was going into my senior year of high school."
"It flared to the point I couldn’t move and lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks."
"Lo and behold, I had Ulcerative Colitis that was diagnosed within a day of tests it was so bad."
~ GamingBeluga
"I had been bleeding for 8 months when my GP told me I 'didn't meet the criteria' for a colonoscopy."
"Finally did get diagnosed with mild ulcerative colitis later on, but that conversation with the GP was the most frustrating part of the whole saga."
~ calvesofdespair
"'It can't be colon cancer because you're too young'."
"My brother got cancer at that exact age, as she knew."
~ Liraeyn
"The really f'ked up thing about this one is that it's standard procedure to monitor for colon cancer based on family history."
"Generally guidelines recommend if a first degree family member (mom, dad, brother, sister) had colon cancer before they were elderly, they should start getting screened at an age 10 years younger than when they were diagnosed."
"So that doctor straight up ignored national treatment guidelines."
~ thatrandomdude12
"My younger sister was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer at 26 (not a typo, that's twenty six.) And it took her a couple of years to convince her doc to order any tests, despite passing blood in her stool."
"I get that she was especially young to have such an advanced case, but I will never not be angry when I read a comment about docs telling folks that they are too young to be checked for colon cancer."
~ Coldricepudding
Children's Health
"I took my then 4-year-old daughter to a pediatric gastroenterologist. First he said 'she's just being dramatic'."
"Then he said, 'well, she'll get married some day and be someone else's problem'."
"That was 25 years ago, and it still shocks me!"
"Turned out she had a partial bowel obstruction."
~ kellygrrrl328
"When I took my then 4-year-old to a pediatric gastroenterologist because she still couldn't control her bowels and clearly had no feeling down there, the specialist told me she was doing it for attention and just didn't 'want to' use the toilet."
"She went on and on about how she'd been in the business for 20 years. When my daughter told her she really wanted to fix the problem so she could go to day camp, the doctor told her she was lying."
"That human turd was in the room when I finally got my daughter tested for bowel insensitivity (I don't remember the official name) and they found out that she did not, in fact, have any feeling in her bowels."
"I looked that b*tch in the face and said, 'Now do you believe us?' She just looked away."
~ paingry
Mental Health
"'You're 27. I don't know what you have to be anxious about'."
"This was in the 1990s."
~ PrincessSummerTop
"When I described my anxiety and depression the doctor said, 'but you aren’t overweight and over thirty!'."
~ seventh-street
"I was told the same just a few months ago at age 25."
"I replied 'well my mom just died' to which he said 'that’s too bad' and continued on with the exam."
~ Familiar_Honey_98
"'That's normal in your line of work. Just ignore it, the pain will go away'."
"I went in for shoulder pain, as my left shoulder would be killing me after a day loading trucks all day. This was an ongoing thing for weeks before I went to get it checked."
"Didn't examine my shoulder. Didn't have any x-rays done, catscans done, MRIs done, nothing. Hell, didn't even have me take my shirt off."
"Turns out that I had a torn rotator cuff."
"Had another doc tell me that the stomach pain that had me pissing myself, throwing up, and passing out was from 'gas'."
"Again, without any type of examination, just listening to the symptoms. Two days later I was dying on the OR table from a necrotic appendix."
~ Redditor
A common theme in all these stories are doctors not listening to their patients or their parents.
While a doctor may be a medical expert, they should remember the patient is the expert for their own body.
When it comes to making a point, the stronger language you use, the better.
Sometimes, this is true of insults too. If you use strong language, the insult may hurt more. This language may include curse words. A lot of times, cursing while insulting someone is a surefire way to make sure the insult lands the way it was intended.
However, this is not always true.
Redditors know it's completely possible to deliver savage insults without using curse words, and are eager to share their favorites.
It all started when Redditor ILikeExistingLol asked:
"What's an absolutely devastating insult without any cuss words?"
Bad Breath
""First of all, brush your teeth...""
– iSniffMyPooper
"I literally just brushed my teeth because of this comment. I was gonna put it off for a little later, but I couldn't after reading that."
– ClumsyGhostObserver
"A coworker who never showers, washes his clothes, or brushes his teeth was trying to intimidate me once and I told him the scariest thing about him was his breath. He hasn’t spoken to me since."
– Floptopus
"“Well, at least you have more teeth than IQ points.”"
– Average_Aloe
"About the same in his case, really."
– Floptopus
Yikes! That Face!
""I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.""
"– Groucho Marx"
– chumloadio
""You have the face for a career in radio.""
– badmother
""...and a voice for print.""
– Byanl
If Only We Never Met
"I miss the feeling of not knowing you."
– Swivel_D
"I think Shakespeare once said something along the lines of "I wish we were better strangers.""
– Non_Music_Prodigy
Crime Against Humanity
"Have you ever considered that perhaps your low self-esteem is just good common sense?"
– pantsoncrooked
"I'd say shots fired but damn that's a nuclear warhead."
– RBpositive
Winston Churchill
"“He’s a humble man with much to be humble about.”"
"-Winston Churchill"
– Triton289
"Another Winston favorite: “Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. Tomorrow, I will be sober.”"
– hdroadking
"Some lady: “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.”"
"Churchill: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”"
"May be slightly different wording."
– No-comment-at-all
"Lady Astor! She was an interesting person."
– Rare_Parsnip905
Wrong!
""I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.""
– shaidyn
""You're entitled to your opinion. It's wrong, but you're entitled to it.""
– a_in_hd
Tough Love
"A teacher called my son success-avoidant 3 years ago and he still thinks about that every day. But it did motivate him to get an A in that class, and all his other classes too!"
– OhSassafrass
"Damn, a harsh truth can be very motivating."
– InverstNoob
What I Like About You
"“Do you know what I like about you?”"
"When they say “what?”, you reply, “See? You can’t think of anything either.”"
– Axeman517
"These are always the most devastating ones, when you set them up to expect a compliment."
– TruCelt
"It's risky though. If they actually give an answer, like some cocky "that i'm hot?" or whatever, then you'll have to think fast."
– Ketcunt
""No, that's definitely not it. I'll keep thinking, I'm sure something will come to me.""
– OnionMiasma
Rumor Has It
""I had to see for myself, but people are absolutely right about you.""
"No cussing, no meanness, but they'll get paranoid about who's talking about them and their reputation."
– NinjatheClick
Intelligence Called Out
"Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder."
– rrashad21
"Please donate your brain to science, at least that way someone will actually use it."
– MembraneintheInzane
Oooh!
"You are impossible to underestimate."
"You never fail to meet my expectations."
– Zyhre
Hilarious
"You couldn't guess which way an elevator is going if you had three guesses."
– Edward_the_Dog
"I love this insult because you have a moment of silence afterward as the insultee pieces it together."
– -Envixity
I love that one; it's brilliant. I'm using this as soon as I get an opportunity!
People Share The Dumbest Reason They Ever Got Fired From Their Job
Alex Kotliarskyi on Unsplash
I once worked in a cubicle farm doing finance and accounting. A new employee disappeared just a few hours after the day started.
Eventually they were found.
On the floor.
Under their desk.
Sleeping.
They were promptly fired once they woke up. I wonder how their version of the story goes.
While that was a ridiculous way to be fired, for these folks, the employers were the ones with questionable judgment.
Reddit user strykazoid asked:
"What's the dumbest reason a job ever fired you?"
Heartless
"I was 17. My Grandpa died unexpectedly from a heart attack. My Mother called my work’s office to let me know."
"I was called to the office to talk on the office phone to my mother, and staff (who were told what was going on) left the area so my mother could privately break the news to me."
"I was obliterated of course, and walked outside for about 15 minutes to clear my head. I then went back to work."
"The woman who was in charge of the entire operation fired me for leaving the building."
"Human Resources stepped in and stopped the situation before I could be notified that I had been fired."
"I only found out that this had happened after my grandpa's funeral days later."
"I quit immediately."
~ moochir
Weekly Occurrence
"I had an alcoholic handy man who was promoted to manager. This was a family owned restaurant and this guy had known the father of the current generation."
"He 'fired' me several times a week for not bumming him a cigarette or not wanting to work the second dining room when we had 5 reservations or taking my approved unpaid time off."
"But he was a drunk who started with scotch and moved into amaretto so never remembered."
"I'd just come back the next day."
~ Shababajoe
Going Surfing
"For surfing the internet."
"Punchline: part of my job was to surf the internet and find content for their social media platforms."
"I wish I was making that up. I am not."
~ Sea-Woodpecker-610
Throwing Their Voice
"Fast food manager said a customer complained that he could hear me cussin' in the back."
"It was a couple days later when they fired me, but they said the incident happened on a day I happened to be off."
"I had a feeling the manager didn't like me much and planned poorly on when they'd claim the so called 'incident' happened."
~ Cool1Mach
"'I heard you cussin' when you weren't here. Don't ask me how that's possible'."
~ probablythrowaway71
Not an Escort Service
"I was 16 and refused to date the owner’s niece."
~ VosTutZich
"Do people think other people are property???"
~ Crackheadwithabrain
"Yes. Many, many people who own or manage businesses think exactly this."
~ G0-N0G0-GO
Last In, First Out
"In the days after 9/11 my employer (multinational bank) instantly fired the last 2 people hired in every department where there was redundancy, hedging against a financial collapse whenever the markets reopened."
"I just happened to be the last guy hired in my department."
~ ClmrThnUR
Poor Pandemic Planning
"Covid-19 forced everyone to work from home on hastily setup computers and infrastructure."
"Then they fired the IT staff because we were deemed ‘nonessential’."
"Bit them in the a** hard enough to remove chunks."
~ wkarraker
Not a "Team Player"
"Not 'fired' but let go with severance. CFO told me to make up historical reports because they weren't done in the past, but now required, and wanted to show how so much better metrics are now than in the past."
"What they were asking for was literally not possible to do since the data was not tracked to what they were asking and wanted to tweak the past numbers into a full-on made-up breakdown."
"I told the controller I wasn't comfortable doing this. The next week I got paid out."
"A month later I found out the CFO was canned."
~ Kir-ius
On Your Own Time
"Performance was bad. one of the reasons given was."
"'Reading newspapers in the lunch room'."
"Which was during my scheduled break."
~ tmacdevitt
Oops!
"I wrote a video game script for a small developer. They 'forgot' to tell me when they started voice work—part of my job required me to help with voice acting sessions."
"I finally was invited to a session with a big name actor, especially known in video games. The director asked me why I hadn’t been present for the past two weeks’ worth of recording."
"Apparently, telling the truth, that no one had told me recording had begun, was the wrong move."
"The developers fired me the next day despite my work already being done, which essentially meant I’d have no part in DLC or sequel(s)."
~ drewxdeficit
Should Have Dropped Out
"I worked at Walmart while I was in high school and one of the managers kept scheduling me to open or for me to be there at 2."
"I told them, many times, that I was in high school and those shifts wouldn't work."
"I guess they didn't get that memo; the store manager fired me for missing work and being late."
~ stackjr
What Do You Mean You Were Gone?
"Walmart fired me because they put out the schedule while I was on vacation and put me on the schedule during my approved days off."
"When I brought this up they just told me approved days off are just a suggestion but not guaranteed days off."
~ Tee_hops
Good Customer Service
"I gave highway directions to a customer."
"They fired me for talking to my friends at work."
"I was a barista."
~ Cobra-Serpentress
Bereavement?
"Took a day off for my Grandpa's funeral which was out of town."
"Fired me when I came back the next day."
~ bublesboo
"My wife was fired for not coming to work after she found her father’s 2-day-old corpse in his apartment."
"She had to talk me down from some violent intentions towards her former employer."
~ isinhower
Has an employer ever done you dirty for an absurd reason?
Sound off in the comments.
People Reveal The Pettiest Reason They Ever Refused To Date Somebody
Anyone who has gone on a few dates knows a few things that they like and don't like to see in a relationship, and they definitely know what some of their dealbreakers are.
But there are some dealbreakers that, when looked at from the outside, are totally petty in nature.
Redditor bigdawgcat asked:
"What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn't date somebody?"
Food Allergies
"I have a friend who stopped dating someone because he found out they were lactose intolerant."
"His example of why was, what if I taste a really great dessert, and I want to share the experience with her, and she can’t even taste it."
- Horknut1
"I know someone who is allergic to alliums (garlic, onions, etc.). I could never date this person as there is no meal I could make which doesn't include them in some amount."
- Fixes_Computers
"Same with peanut allergies. I love peanut butter too much to start a relationship with someone who couldn't be in the same room with it, not when there are plenty of other wonderful people who can. If the allergy suddenly developed long into the relationship, that would be a different case."
- cottagecheeseobesity
The Ups and Downs of Physical Fitness
"A college friend of mine was dating a girl who was amazing, smart, and funny, and she had put on a few extra pounds recently, which bothered him (don’t shoot the messenger)."
"We were driving at night down a big hill on a hot summer night and saw a young woman running up the hill toward us, really sweating, face purple, and looking pretty haggard, huffing and puffing."
"He made a comment like, 'Holy s**t, this girl is struggling.' We got closer and realized it was her."
"Long awkward pause. 'Well, I’m going to have to break up with her,' he said."
"Fast forward six months, and we ran into her at a pub, and she was in absolutely perfect shape."
"When he tried to make a move, she told him aloud, in front of a table full of her friends, 'That she wasn’t interested in him, and that he had dumped her for getting fat.' Top five funniest takedowns I’ve ever seen."
"Fast forward 10 years, he’s been divorced twice and has had a long list of s**tty relationships. The end."
- Much_Progress_4745
Conspiracy Theory Investment
"If they’re into conspiracy theories. I dated a guy who was and it consumed his life. It’s all he talked about."
"I couldn’t even watch a movie with him because he would talk through the whole thing about how it relates to certain conspiracy theories…"
"I also could never enjoy my food. We would make a big dinner on Friday nights to start the weekend, we both had a long day at work... we’d sit down to finally eat and he’d pull out his phone and put on conspiracy videos, and he’d make me watch them sooo loudly while I ate. And he’d talk through all of them too."
"I could never tell him that I wasn’t interested or I just wanted to eat because he’d get mad. It ruined my whole meal... I think most people like to eat in peace.. also he’d spend hundreds of items he needed in case we ever got attacked by 'skin walkers'... Never again."
- Low-Sky-4812
Eating Noises
"They slurp when they drink or smack when they eat."
- just-say-it-
"Soup should be seen and not heard."
- Playful-Profession-2
Same Names, Same Problems
"I will never date or f**k another Anthony ever again. I’ve dated or had a relationship with three different Anthonys at three different ages and they all turned out badly."
- SylphofBlood
"I had a friend years back that had three bad boyfriends, one after the other, each more of a D-bag than the last. Each one was named Rob."
"When talking to her one night, having a few beers, she complained that she always attracts d**kheads and then she asked what she should do. So having had a drink or six, I just blurted out, 'Maybe don't date anymore Robs.'"
"Anyway, the next guy she dated was Steve... they got married."
- vejbok
Love for Animals
"My cat said hello to her and she didn't say hi back."
- StephenHawkings_Legs
"I had a one-night stand kick my cat off of the bed. First, never ever have I kicked a cat. But I did kick that guy out of my house and my life. Instantly. GET THE F**K OUT. NOW."
- e11spark
"Not petty. If someone ignored my dog greeting them, I would be put off, too."
- A-Yandere-Succubus
Unexpected Sleeping Arrangements
"He slept in those tiny no-show socks. Let me be clear, he didn't wear them any other time than when he went to bed."
"There were some other, more real, red flags, but when I saw him whip them out and put them on the second time we slept together, I legitimately thought to myself: 'Actually, I don't think I can fix this one.'"
- Potential-Plastic-66
Matching Clothes
"He wore the same shirt on both of our dates.
Get this, years later, I get into the elevator at work and he's there. IN THE SAME SHIRT."
"I wanted so badly to demand to know if he has multiples or just one! Or find out which department he was in and stalk him. Unfortunately, I had given in my two weeks and didn't work in that building often."
- SunflowerSeed33
Different Interests
"If a woman has a horse in her dating profile, you will never be more important than that horse."
"(It may be petty, but it's backed up by personal experience)."
- No-Hat-689
"Horse girls do really love their horses, so I believe you. And I can't blame you."
- dumpster_cherries
"Worst of all, if you break up with the girl you won't be able to see the horse again! Imagine how heartbreaking that would be."
- one-eye-fox
Social Media Schemes
If they have emojis like their signs, or money signs, or airplanes, or some s**t like that in their bio. Just seems like some scammer or Ponzi scheme s**t."
- UrinePulp
Weakness?
"Wasn't me, but a female friend broke up with a guy because 'his allergies were a sign of weakness.'"
"Yeah, I responded the same way you did."
- Street-Comb1000
"My brother believes this about my allergies. He thinks I 'shoulda grown out of it by now.' Infuriating."
- I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan
Finals Week Troubles
"Because her eye was twitching while we were talking to each other. I was a dumb freshman in college. This girl was super attractive and smart, and we got along great."
"For some unfathomable reason, this made me want to not talk to her again."
"Later it dawned on me that it was during finals and she was heavily caffeinated and that can be a side effect. She dodged a bullet because I was a complete dingleberry, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Atlas88-
Deal-breaking Voices
"I briefly dated a young woman who was insanely out of my league. People stared when we went out."
"Anyway, her voice was like Minnie Mouse, and I just couldn't take it. I still feel bad about that one."
- Pickleliver
Dental Preferences
"Not me, but I had a friend who wouldn’t date this guy because he had one crooked tooth. He was the nicest guy truly a wonderful person. Like if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship I would’ve dated this guy."
"Fast forward, he meets a wonderful woman, and they get married, and my friend was all weird about it."
"I asked why and she said, 'Well, I thought he liked me enough to get his twisted tooth fixed.'"
"It was the silliest thing I’ve ever heard."
- Foxy_locksy1704
Preferred Facial Features
"I knew and almost dated a girl who talked out the side of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s all I thought about when she spoke."
"Like, the front of her lips barely moved, and it was like a weird little smirk kinda thing when she spoke. I couldn’t get past it."
- newadventures96
"Weird ick: people with big/wide mouths. Why can I see all of your teeth and the back of your throat while you’re talking? You don’t need to open it that much just because you can."
- burritoboles
When one Redditor wanted to hear others' "petty" reasons for not wanting to date someone, their fellow Redditors really delivered. While some of these could simply be a matter of taste, like finding some facial features attractive where others do not, some of these, like allergies, are pretty, pretty petty.