JOIN
OUR EMAIL LIST!
Getty Images

We all have fantasies of punishing our enemies from time to time.

Today's burning question came from Redditor BisexualVegan, who asked the online community: "Satan's retiring this fall and would like you to take over as CEO of hell, what's the first thing you do to make hell more miserable?"

Some of these suggestions are downright evil.


"The gates of hell..."

The gates of hell is now a waiting line. Once you get to the front, you get to go to the back of the line.

Boomshicleafaunda

"Everyone is violently hung over..."

Everyone is violently hung over, for 2/3 of each day, everyday, but no intoxication. Just the hangover.

Kilometer-Davis

"There is an extremely remote chance..."

There is an extraordinarily remote chance to escape hell into oblivion.
Suffering at its core requires the tiniest iota of hope.
Ideally it would be something only one person can achieve over a long interval, leading the sinners to scheme against one another, and clamber over one another in order to attain it.
So we can crowdsource the torture to the torture victims, easing demon workloads.

SYLOH

"If I'm taking over..."

If i'm taking over, why do i need to make it more miserable?

Seems to me like turning the focus around may be more profitable.

After all, if the goal is to get more people into hell, what easier way is there?

StrangeCharmVote

"Porn is readily available..."

Porn is readily available in 4K Ultra HD - over a dial up connection.

darkdoppelganger

"No more..."

Giphy

No more casual Fridays.

Brandon48236

"Remove the torture..."

Remove the torture - make it absolute boredom.

You sit in an empty room alone. Hunger and stuff isn't a problem and you can't sleep.

xicad

NOOOO!

Turn it into the DMV.

burgundyink

WHY???

Give the toilets legs so you have to chase them around.

forty8graves

"Everyone is working..."

Everyone is working at a fast food joint with the laziest possible management, everyday is the busiest day of the week, and they're constantly on the verge of having a mental breakdown and quitting. The only thing getting them through the day is knowing they'll be off at 6pm, but one minute before the clock hits 6pm it restarts back to 5pm.....every single time .Once they start to get used to it, I'd switch them over to a different corporation so they have to learn an entirely new process while dealing with the same crap.

HagithaChristie69

"Then they have to kick stuff."

Toothpicks under the edges of everyone's toenails. Then they have to kick stuff.

TLop_123

"I'd let them visit their loved ones..."

Giphy

I'd let them visit their loved ones once every thousand years. A lack of hope is a lack of desire. Desire breeds discomfort of that which isn't desired. An hour of happiness every thousand years is a small price for the suffering it brings in its wake.

orionmovere

"Add an exit door..."

Add an exit door which takes exactly 3 arbitrary hell-tokens to open and give everyone a 2-token bill. If someone especially evil arrives, give them a single token: they'll complain about only having one hell-token for everyone else to hear.

hamanger

"Whichever religion you believe in..."

Whichever religion you believe in, it's the Hell of the one you don't like the most. When you start to get used to it (you have all Eternity after all) it swaps out to a different religions version of one. Would have the added bonus of making you think your chosen religion was wrong all along too.

comfortablynumb15

"I'd make it..."

I'd make it so that every tortured soul hallucinates a loved one alternately ignoring, laughing at, and blaming them for their pain.

Wasnbo

Image by Tumisu from Pixabay

There's something seeing a person litter that drives me up the wall. I remember being a kid and being explicitly told to hold on to my trash and not just throw it in the street. As a kid, I distinctly remember being made fun of for not just throwing the bag of chips I'd just eaten or an empty soda bottle into the gutter.

I can't imagine doing that. Why?! We truly treat this planet as if we have somewhere else to go.

After Redditor pnrddt asked the online community, "What small action immediately makes you dislike a stranger?" people shared their observations.

Keep reading... Show less
Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay

When you're in the market for a slew of very specific facts that all fall under the same general theme, the internet really delivers.

Forget streamlined public health capabilities and revolutionized human communication, the true beauty of the internet is all the random, barely useful information you can find when a bunch odd people decide to assemble and swap info.

Keep reading... Show less
Image by Alterio Felines from Pixabay

Working in a doctor's office means helping people when they're at their lowest. Sometimes, that leads to wonderful moments when the patient is thankful for all the advice and care you provided. Other times, it means taking something out of someone's bum.

Turns out, that second one happens a lot more than you might think.

Keep reading... Show less
Image by Sammy-Williams from Pixabay

I love movies. The cinema has long been a savior of mine and has given me some of my greatest inspirations. But being an avid film watcher has also made me quite the critic. I can always tell when a movie is worth the money to see in theaters or wait until it's on basic cable with commercials. The signs of mediocrity abound, and sometimes they aren't that difficult to spot.

Redditor u/fjv08kl wanted to know what is obvious about mediocre cinema by asking.... What are some subtle 'red flags' that tell you a movie is not worth watching?
Keep reading... Show less