
People Reveal How Their Fantasies Turned Into Nightmares
[rebelmouse-image 18354796 is_animated_gif=_Sex is something that must evolve with passion and culture. And nowadays people are trying ALL kinds of new crazy. (Thank you Christian Grey!!) But what '50 Shades' doesn't come with is a warning label. Everything you believe is a great idea at first may come with some practice. _
Redditor moseph999 *_asked Redditors who got to live out a sexual fantasy and had it go horribly wrong, what happened? _Get ready people.., are some things going on behind closed doors!! \
SEX SHOULDN'T BE THIS STRESSFUL!
My good friend who is a huge 50 Shades fan mailed me some glass ben-wa balls, with instructions to insert them, wear them out dancing with my bf so they'd get me all turned on, and then surprise him with my newfound kinkiness when we went home.
Thankfully I decided to test-run those suckers beforehand because either I did something wrong or I have a vagina like a bear trap. They went in just fine, felt pretty nice when I walked around, but I could not get them out. I tried everything - including, in a moment of desperation, a plastic spoon and lotion. Nada. After several hours I become more and more panicked and called the nursing hotline at my school. The nurse on the phone assembled a team of other amused nurses who fired off suggestions like "squat in the bathtub and poop!" and _"use suction from your vacuum hose!"
So yeah I called my boyfriend to come help at 2am. But this story gets better, because as he's driving over one of the phone-nurses suggests I sumo-squat and hop down the stairs one at a time. Shockingly, this actually worked!
Stick to what you know, y'all, and don't take sex advice from 50 Shades of Grey.
IT'S CALLED FINESSE...
[rebelmouse-image 18354797 is_animated_gif=She asked me to slap her butt. I did.
She asked me to slap it harder. I did.
She started crying and said I slapped it too hard.
READ THE FINE PRINT...
[rebelmouse-image 18354798 is_animated_gif=There was a post a while ago in one of the sex subs that I remember well enough. The guy watched cuckold porn and wanted to try it. His wife wasn't sure and he ended up convincing her that they should. She broke down and said okay. They find a third and get down to it. Well, she starts enjoying it and the husband realizes right then that he's not into it. He doesn't fantasize about being a cuck. He fantasizes about being the bull. But, he pretty much has to endure it because he didn't want to just tell the guy to go home. He ended up having some major issues because he didn't think things would end up that way and couldn't shake the feeling that his wife cheated on him.
Moral of the story, start with maybe a softer intro to a fetish rather than realizing you aren't into it when some dude is with your wife and you're stuck there watching.
SOMETIMES IT'S NOT ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA...
[rebelmouse-image 18354799 is_animated_gif=Many years ago I, male, had a fwb, female, that was bi who had another fwb, also female, that she decided she wanted to introduce me to. The three of us hit it off and after hanging out socially a few times, I was invited back to the house of woman #2 one evening.
What you imagine happened, happened. While it was clear that this was really their night and I was just there as an accessory, I was totally cool with that and we had a blast... up until the end.
I'm still not 100% sure how this happened but apparently the part of my anatomy called the frenulum tore at some point and it was a little while before anyone noticed. There was a lot of alcohol and the lights were out minus one very dim lamp in the corner.
Imagine the awkwardness of the three of us shuffling to the bathroom upon noticing all the blood and closely checking to figure out where this all came from.
I ended up having to see a urologist who was very curious how this injury happened and said that he wanted to see me again in a while to check how it was healing. That would tell him whether or not he would have to complete the circumcision. It still hurts sometimes and this was over ten years ago.
WHY MAKE IT A DATELINE NBC EPISODE?
[rebelmouse-image 18354800 is_animated_gif=I wish it went better but I was chased out of a house by the father and 3 brothers of the woman who was tied to the bed. We had wax, rope, ice and other stuff we thought would be cool but that whole "they're going to be gone for two days" thing didn't work out.
ANYTHING YOU CAN DO I CAN DO BETTER!
[rebelmouse-image 18979080 is_animated_gif=Had a threesome with a couple. She cried because I made her orgasm and he couldn't. Things got really awkward and we never spoke again. Sorry, bro.
I CAN'T. I JUST CAN'T!
[rebelmouse-image 18979081 is_animated_gif=My wife had a blowout during anal. Apparently, my wife read somewhere that to take a few laxatives before hand to clean out. She did... all over me.
LET'S ALL JUST BE VIRGINS..
[rebelmouse-image 18979082 is_animated_gif=Threesome with 2 smoking hot girls. I was doing Girl #1, while the other girl was rubbing her, then my penis slips out and I thrust... right into a long sharp fingernail. Girl #2's nail scraped a big gash, and blood went everywhere. I proceeded to scream like a girl, and let's just say, that ended the night.
LIKE A VIRGIN.... HEY..
[rebelmouse-image 18979083 is_animated_gif=Just turning 18 and losing your virginity only to be interrupted by a cop because you were doing it in a mall parking lot is always an interesting event to relive.
NOW YOU SEE ME...
[rebelmouse-image 18979084 is_animated_gif=Today me and my gf had friends over and they were chill enough to have sex in the same room as us. I thought it would be a hot kinky type of thing but I ended up getting super uncomfortable hearing them. Now I have the 10,000 yard stare and they're still here but clothed now.
WHERE'S THE THERMOMETER? FOR SERIOUS....
[rebelmouse-image 18979085 is_animated_gif=Bathroom sex after a hot steamy shower ... I almost fainted because I was overheating so much... I just sort of stopped and sat down on the floor unable to get up and feeling really weak. We went back out and laughed about it.
REMEMBER... YOUR EYES ARE BIGGER THAN YOUR STOMACH!!
[rebelmouse-image 18979086 is_animated_gif=I wanted a well endowed guy to put it all in.
I threw up.
DON'T SLEEP WHERE YOU PEE!
[rebelmouse-image 18979087 is_animated_gif=I slept with my boss after years of flirting and sexting. The night of he got so drunk he spilled beer on the bed, broke some furniture stumbling around, and peed on me in his sleep. I didn't stay the night. He avoided me for months. I don't hook up with coworkers anymore.
SOMETIMES 2 IS ENOUGH!!
[rebelmouse-image 18979088 is_animated_gif=I always liked the idea of a threesome, so I when I finally got to try one I was kind of disappointed that I ended up as the third wheel -- especially because my then-boyfriend and the girl we picked ended up paying a lot more attention to each other and practically forgot I was there. (The threesome was his suggestion, not mine, but I was definitely up for it.)
After about an hour of being all but ignored no matter what I did, I thought Forget this and went to go and read a book in the living room. We didn't last much longer as a couple -- for a variety of reasons, but that was definitely one of them.
LIGHTS. CAMERA. ACTION.
[rebelmouse-image 18979089 is_animated_gif=Elevator door opened mid blow job.
It was security.
There's cameras in elevators folks.
HONEY DOESN'T CACTCH ALL THE FLIES...
[rebelmouse-image 18979090 is_animated_gif=Read it in the book that sex in the tub filled with milk and honey would enhance the sexual experience. Be me, 15 yo on limited allowance that somehow managed to talk my girlfriend into it. We pool our money together and buy 10 gallons of milk and and that squeeze bear shaped bottle of honey. We also steal some milk from cafeteria in those little cartons as well as some pockets of honey from 7/11. It's D day. Microwaving milk and cooking it as well while adding honey was like a 3 hour job. Whenever we poured one thing in, by the time we did another the first one would get cold and honey would settle on the bottom of the tub. We give up and pour everything in and start adding hot water. Well bath is half full and it looks like it's time to reach sexual enlightenment. We get in and it stinks, gets sticky and getting cold. I pretty much finish in 45 seconds than try to go down on her using honey as an aphrodisiac by rubbing it on. Finally she gets done or she says so because she is fed up so we stop and try to clean up. Drain gets clogged, we can't get the honey off quick enough, my dad is pulling into the driveway and it's a total disaster. Few weeks later I get a urinary tract infection but since I'm a broke immigrant I have no health insurance so I suffer for few weeks. She develops yeast infection and a uti as well. Also since I spent all my money on supplies that means no lunches and visiting her for the rest of the month. Yeah so it sucked and from that day I'm not buying into that romantic writing crap and smell of boiled milk gets me aroused a bit yet my Johnson starts aching.
SLIPPERY WHEN WET....
[rebelmouse-image 18979091 is_animated_gif=Years ago tried to have shower sex with the hubby. Was way more cramped than expected, but we persisted. While in the middle of the act I went to put my leg up on the edge of the tub, to try and get a more comfortable position. Unfortunately he thrusted a bit more forcefully than I expected. Due to the way we were oriented I was already leaning slightly forward, and was standing on my non-dominant leg. When this happened I lost my balance just enough to have my foot slip out from under me. I fell straight down and banged my chin on the tub faucet. Ended up having to get stitches. Told the doctor I fell in the shower, didn't mention the whole sex-gone-wrong part.
Some people like sweets, some people like alcohol, some people are willing to spend extra money a month just to have full access to all 14 seasons of their favorite obscure Canadian detective show.
You don't judge us, we won't judge you.
Reddit was asked:
"What is a guilty pleasure for you ?"
...and ... like ... we honestly feel kind of bonded in non-shame over this stuff.
Because it's all just SO GOOOOOOOOD!
It's Britney ...
"Playing Britney Spears’ music on 11 when I’m in the car all by myself. Especially 'Work Bitch' when I’m on the way to work an extra shift."
-nancydrew1224
"Toxic is an undeniably fantastic song."
-TheBrontosaurus
"It's such a weird mix of elements. Obviously you have Britney's pop singing, but it also mixes harsh strings with synth electro and a lot of rock elements. It blurs several genres together, and accordingly fits well next to other genres of music."
-Nambot
Those Golden Arches
"McDonald’s"
"I regret my choice right after finishing my meal. But not enough to prevent me from going back the next week lol"
-Candidmirror12
"Why did you say the word? I've been clean for three months straight!"
-realfoodman
"Yep."
"I get a craving 2-3 times a year. Same damned order every time. Large #1 value meal with a coke and a cheeseburger."
"I love their little chopped onions"
"Did you know that the Coke syrup formula for McDonald’s is different than what you get at home or other restaurants? It’s actually sweeter per McDonald’s request and specifications"
-mlgbt1985
Can't Run
"The Tremors anthology. Bad B-rated horror but god DAMN do I love me some graboids."
-BolognaIsNotAHat
"The first movie is legitimately excellent. The rest are stupid syfy level movies that are still a ton of fun."
-Taynt42
"The second one is also not terrible. Felt like a well measured escalation. The 3rd one on, though... SMH."
-Hotarg
"You ever have something be so bad that it loops itself back around into being awesome? That's this."
- [Reddit]
Perfect Mood Lifter
"Watching kid shows or disney movies even though I'm an adult."
-BanGinGDreams
"Phineas and Ferb."
"I honestly love to cruise the country side with my biker group, smoke half a pack, get home crack a beer and see what Phineas and Ferb did today."
"I'm a 28 year old man."
-Tiger_In_Maine
"Cartoons are good for the soul. Visually pleasing to watch. Good stories. Usually have some safe humor. Always end on a feel good tone. The perfect mood lifter when you're feeling down."
-GingerJayPear
Go Go Power Rangers
"Power rangers lore."
"I'm 28, can't get myself to sit through the kids shows anymore. But man did I love the series growing up and like keeping up with the new stories and seeing how it's going."
"My significant other would pretty much leave me if she found out how much I'm still addicted to keeping up with a show that I should have dropped 20 years ago."
-PN-DUBS
"Full stop, check out the comics. They were made for people that watched it as children and are adults now and they are honestly nothing short of incredible between the art and storylines. They do some really rad stuff."
-ForSafeKeeping220
Digging
"Picking my nose. I know it’s a bad habit but it’s nostalgic"
-VictoryIsMudkipz
"Kinda same it's not just gross but I also feel like it makes my nostrils bigger so I feel even more guilty 😭"
-getawaycar7H13
"There are two kinds of people in the world. People who pick their nose and liars"
-energy_falcon
Terribly Delicious
"Bad coffee."
"Like you go to a chrome-plated diner by the interstate and the coffee is made of cheap, stale grounds that has been on the hot plate or 3 hours. Something about it is super nostalgic."
-MutantOverlord
"Hell yes. I'll get like 5 refills on that tiny ass cup, tyvm"
-stoncils_
"Just terrible enough to want another cup."
-caseyd1020
Later
"Procrastinating….I hate myself for it"
-Usual-Difference9135
"I was going to comment the same but figured it could wait."
-C0rnD0g1
"I usually have two or three things on the go at once. So when I feel like procrastinating, I switch to one of the other things. My job has become literally me always procrastinating."
-StGir1
T.Swift
"I, on some occasions, belt out Taylor Swift’s 'Our Song' when I’m alone"
-nenolpunk
"I do it too but with 'The Story of Us' "
-SoonlyXo
"Taylor Swift's old songs are the best songs"
-AwesomeSpindleberry
"It’s this or 'Teardrops on My Guitar' because wow. Hit me in my teen feels."
"Who is Drew? I don't know, but I’ll sing about them regardless"
-nenolpunk
Hipster ASMR
"Before I discovered ASMR, I used to secretly watch videos of makeup tutorials because they made me feel relaxed. I'm a guy who's never worn make up in my life."
-SXOSXO
"I'm a man in my 30s. I love the cosplay tutorials from Alyson Tabbitha."
-amadeus2490
"Literally same!!! I watch NikkieTutorials or Naomi Jon! Like I personally don’t wear make up but I love the art behind it"
-patzzxd
So tell us, what's your pleasure? And do you HONESTLY feel guilty about it?
Go ahead and talk about it in the comments, I've got a certain Canadian Detective to check up on.
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Love or money?
An age old question.
Ideally, you wouldn't have to decide between the two.
In a perfect world, you would be able to find the true love of your life and be incredibly wealthy all at once.
But, as the saying goes, you can't have everything.
Though if faced with having to choose between the two, people might have a different idea of what the obvious answer would be.
Redditor lulinghayaw was curious how people would decide when faced with this decision, leading them to ask:
"Genuine, true love or 5 million dollars? Why?"
My love is worth more than that.
"True love because my true love is 5 trillion dollars."- ImOnARush.
Freedom to do what you love.
"I'm gonna be really honest, I'd choose 5 million dollars."
"Having that much money means financial stability."
"It means not having to work for money - that wouldn't mean not working ever again, but doing a job you really love even if it doesn't pay well."
"I would be able to study without worrying about burdening my parents."
"I could achieve my dream of getting multiple degrees."
"Money isn't just money, it's opportunities."
"Without having to worry about money, I could focus on improving myself in every way - getting healthier, studying more, having a stable routine, reading a lot, overall becoming the best version of myself."
"I'll have plenty of time to find true love, improve relationships with friends and family and everything else."- lux_blue.
Money over love any day- no matter the amount.
"5 dollars."- SpaZzzmanian_Devil.
"SHOW ME THE MONEY."- _starvingartist.
How much is true love worth.
"Money."
"Love can't pay my bills."- LiteLit.
Money can't buy happiness.
"True love."
"Moneys cool and all, but I'd much rather be in a loving relationship."- WhiskersCleveland.
But money can buy a lot of other things...
"5 mil, I’ll wipe my tears with hundreds."- Weary_Gate7941.
True love...with a rich partner.
"Genuine true love."
"It didn't say my partner and I would be poor."- moonIightbaby.
"The greatest thing, you'll ever learn..."
"True love."
"I have been alone all my life."
"I’ve always had toxic friends because i told myself i deserved it, i told myself 'at least they want to be friends with me'."
"I have a narcissistic mother and a dad that isn’t emotionally there because of his own trauma."
"I have a sister that flat out ignores me when I talk and my other siblings are too young for me to have the kind of bond that i need right now."
"I have an amazing best friend but it’s different than having someone that loves me and i love back."
"If you had asked me a month ago i would’ve said 5 million."
"I would’ve been lying."
"If you had asked a year ago I would’ve said 5 million and I would’ve been telling the truth. true love is priceless."
"I’ll be winning 4 million on the lottery tho."- 76543210987654321.
Some might say being truly, madly in love feels like having five million dollars.
While others might feel that having five million dollars feels even better than being in love.
Others might simply strive for a little bit of each.
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It's highly believed that it is important to learn history as a means to improve our future.
What is often overlooked is that what is taught in history class is going to be very different depending on where you went to school.
And this isn't just internationally, even different regions of the United states will likely have very different lessons on American history.
This frequently results in our learning fascinating, heartbreaking and horrifying historical facts which our middle or high school history teachers neglected to teach us.
Redditor Acherontia_atropos91 was curious to learn things people either wished they had learned, or believe they should have learned, in their school history class, leading them to ask:
What isn’t taught in history class but should be?
The Irish Troubles
"The troubles."
"Too many people in America do not understand why a wall straight through Ireland would be a BAD idea."
"I’m referring to the Brexit referendum and possible outcomes."
"If people were wondering why we were talking about walls through Ireland in the first place."- CLCVS.
Forgotten elements of World War II
"What the Japanese did to the Chinese during WW2."
"Unit 731."- CaptainMcBoogerJew.
"Japan gets off easy for their war crimes in WW2."
"They killed an estimated 16mil Chinese civilians and another 8mil soldiers"
"Also, Pol Pot."
"Didn't know who he was until I was like 25."
"Worst dictator all time (in terms of percentage of population he decimated)".
The truth about the American Revolution
"That the American Revolution was part of a wider cold war type of conflict with France."
"The American Revolution was basically the UK's equivalent of the US version of Vietnam."- vinsant7.
The Dark side of Swedish history.
"As a Swede, I'd like to know more of all the horrible sh*t my country has done throughout history."
"It's a damn shame we're trying to hide our history."
"For example, Swedes killed a metric sh*t ton of all Polish people when we were at our strongest."
"That's the kinda sh*t we don't get to learn."- mogwandayy.
Colonization
"Basically what Belgium did to the Congo."
"A lot of people are telling me that they are taught about this actually."
"I'm glad to hear it because I wasn't taught about this in the USA during my public school days (1995-2008)."- EconArch.
The truth about "heroes".
"While teaching about historical Heroes they should also tell students about the unspeakable things some of them did."
"Many famous figures throughout history who are pillars of morality actually did many terrible things." - User Deleted
Intolerance for Mental Illness
"The dark history of mental illness treatments."
"I think it's worth learning about."- 7dayexcerpt.
Slavic Mythology
"Slavic mythology in Slavic countries."
"Don't get me wrong, I love both Greek & Roman mythology and as a person from the Balkans both of those cultures are part of my country's history and had great influence over not only my region but the entirety of the continent & the western world but I wouldn't mind knowing more about Slavic mythology as well."- ShorsShezzarine.
The truth about the CIA
"How the CIA was made and all the shady things they did over the years."- ALargeChip.
There is a lot about the history of our world, not to mention our own country which shouldn't be ignored.
And it's from learning from our mistakes that we really improve our future.
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So apparently we are in the endemic phase of this nonsense.
We have light at the end of the tunnel.
So what now?
Where do we go from here?
Normal seems like an outdated word.
How do we get back to normal though?
Is it even possible?
What are reaching back to?
Life pre-Covid.
Those were the days.
If only we could bring them back.
Redditor hetravelingsong wanted to discuss our new normal in this hopeful "endemic" phase. So they asked:
"What’s something random you miss about pre-COVID times?"
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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