We've all seen those internet threads and memes about things you'd have at the check-out lane that might make someone think you're a killer. We never thought that situation would happen in the real world - but this Reddit user is convinced they met a killer in real life, and they're not the only ones with a story like this:
Have you ever met a killer? Or think you've met one?
I made a throwaway account to post this because it still creeps me out, 12 years later, and I don't want it linked to my account that could identify me.
About 12 years ago I was in my early 20s and living in a southern state in the US. Late one night I realized I urgently needed to buy something and so I went to the only store near me I knew was open — a Wal-Mart Supercenter that was open 24/7. This store is right off a major US interstate exit (I-85) and it was a weekday around 1 AM in the morning when I was at the store. The parking lot of this store is huge and often truckers (big rigs) would park their trucks in the lot overnight, along with some random campers and RVs.
I was in line to check out and immediately noticed the man in front of me. The store was otherwise almost empty. He was youngish white guy, average build, maybe 30s? He was hunched over, with a baseball cap bunched down over much of his face. He purchased these items: a shovel, three pack of duct tape, rope, a set of zip ties, a box of latex gloves, a pair of leather gloves, an empty gas container (the red plastic kind), and a disposable cell phone (one of those "Trac Phone" type things). He seemed to be unwilling to engage with the check out person (who also seemed annoyed to be working at 1 AM on a Tuesday - fair enough). He paid in cash.
Now even if he wasn't buying those items I think I would have felt creeped out — there was something just off about the situation to me. I know that sounds crazy, but I just sensed something "wrong." But to buy those specific items together (and nothing else), to buy them at 1 AM on a Tuesday, and to pay cash?!?
I waited in the store for a long time and asked the assistant night manager to walk me to my car (which he didn't want to do, but finally agreed). The next day I called the local FBI field office and explained/reported the situation. The people taking the complaint asked me repeatedly if I was calling in response to a specific crime (uhh, creepiness?) but took my information.
Didn't hear of anything or see anything on the news that caused alarm.
THEN
A few months later the FBI local office reached back out to me to ask if I paid with a credit card at Wal-Mart (I did).
I never heard from them again. I have no idea who the man was, what he was doing, who he may have harmed, or where he did it. I don't know if he's been captured or not. But I'm pretty darn sure I witnessed someone buying things to murder someone else.
Anyone else ever have a run-in with someone they suspected of killing someone else?
Turns out YES, people DID have stories. Holy crap. Here are a few, edited for language and clarity if needed. Oh - and TRIGGER WARNING for... um ... everything, this is an article about killers. Proceed with caution.
"I Shook The Same Hands That Killed..."Â
Journalist at a local newspaper doing the Sunday evening shift. Got a call about a guy whose car had been hijacked with his 2 year old son in it. I met him at the police station to interview him, get a pic of the kid so we could publish and ask people to be on the lookout etc. The man was devastated. I'd been a journalist for years, traveled all over, I was no pushover and generally really good at reading people. This man was clearly in a state. I had a hard time staying professional and not bawling my eyes out in front of him.
At the end of the interview I clasped his hands tightly, trying to convey how awful I found his situation to be. I told him all I could do was write the best story possible. Maybe someone would read it, see the pic and help find the kid.
I didn't sleep that night.
The next day (day off after weekend shift) one of my colleagues phoned me, they'd found the body of the little boy at a rubbish dump. And they'd arrested his father for the murder. He'd had issues with the boy's mother so murdered his own son out of spite or something. I don't know. I don't want to know. He made up the story of the hijacking.
All I know is I shook the same hands that had killed a little boy. I cried for him while he just played me, knowing he'd killed his son just hours before.
That haunted me for years.
The Guy On The Subway
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My mom in her late teens - early 20s living in Toronto around the time the Scarborough Rapist, Paul Bernardo, was active. My mom told me that during this time, women in the area (including herself) were super paranoid about being victimized.
One night she was on the subway and a young guy was sitting across from her who she noticed kept staring at her. She felt uncomfortable especially due to her paranoia, and decided to test her gut feeling by standing up - he stood up too. She quickly sat down, and tried it one more time before the next stop. Again, he got up when she did. Eventually her stop came up and she decided to get off. The guy got off too, and she said she immediately knew something bad would happen. He started following her and she bolted. She got lucky as she crossed the middle of the street because a bunch of vehicles passed and he couldn't cross, and she never saw him again.
My mom told me that when Paul Bernardo was caught, she saw his picture in the news and felt chills - he was the guy on the subway. When I saw pictures of his victims, I also felt chills because when my mom was in her 20's, she looked exactly like one of them. It's pretty scary. He was denied parole.
- egglatte
A Discussion About Morality And Religion
Freshman year of college, I was in a very small English class. It was a super small class so we got pretty comfortable with each other.
A couple months into the semester, a 10 -year old girl was kidnapped, and later found murdered. It was a major news story in Colorado. The biggest shock was finding out that the killer, Austin, was in my English class.
Before he was arrested, we had done a class review of people's papers and my professor pulled my classmates essay up on the projector. It was odd though, because his papers were usually well-written but this was full of grammatical and spelling errors and fragmented ideas going nowhere. Austin told us he was sorry about all the mistakes and that the draft was rushed because he was busy and couldn't focus. After he was arrested, a classmate realized that was a day or two after she was kidnapped and murdered.
One day, me and him had walked together to our cars and had a discussion about morality and religion. That conversation stuck with me a lot, especially when some more details of his life and what lead up to the murder came out.
I still get an icky feeling about it.
Her Yellow Dress
My mom told me that when she was a kid her and her mom were driving on a highway when they saw two men taking a woman out of the trunk of the car and moving her to another car. The car was in the opposing direction and this was before they had cell phones. By the time they got to the other side of the road both cars were gone. Reported it to police but they never heard anything. My mom can't forget about her yellow dress.
Double Dates
I dated one for a few months! I ended up breaking it off because I always got a super weird vibe being alone with him. Near the end I was making all of our nights out into double dates or just bringing a friend along, so I figured it was better just to break it off.
He ended up beating two people to death while they were in their bed and then he moved the bodies and slept on their bloody mattress for 3 days. He was then caught and is now in prison.
- RNbai
Gerard
Gerard Baden Clay was a customer of ours at my old work he was a real prick to deal with and I was the only one who could ever satisfy his unrealistic expectations. When the news broke his wife had gone missing my colleagues and I all thought instantly that he had done something. All the news stories and people close to him came out saying what a wonderful man he was and we were all thinking wtf? He was the biggest piece of sh!t person i have ever met. Really slimy guy typical of a real estate agent.
He would frequently go off his nut and get abusive over the smallest things to my co workers. When he would try it on me I'd just smile and say "Ok Gerard" fix the problem and leave.
- evilast
Moms Know Things
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My ex went on to murder a future girlfriend. I was a teenager and my mom insisted that he was creepy even though he seemed so nice and treated me well. She actually forbid me to see him which was a something that only ever happened with him so I did gently end things. Moms KNOW things.
Bait & Tackle & The FBI
Unsure of the actual crime(s) as we weren't given exact details, but my husband worked in a bait & tackle/camping type store for awhile. Guy came in, gathered a few expensive camping supplies, zero degree sleeping bag, tent, backpack, boots, etc. He goes to ring him up, the card won't go thru so the guy just grabs his card back and ditches everything, leaves. A few minutes later the store received a call from the FBI asking if he was still there, if they knew what vehicle he may have been driving, do they have video recording in/around the store (they did). They sent agents out that afternoon to the headquarters for copy of the tapes. We never heard anything after that, but definitely creepy.
Changed My Views On Evil
A guy I was best friends with when we were 6-13 years old (i went on holiday with him a couple of times) is now serving 27 years for murder. The weirdest thing is he was a nice kid, just troubled, then got mixed up with the wrong people etc.
It completely changed my view on what constitutes "evil". What he did was terrible but he isn't an evil guy. Makes me think that lots of "evil" people aren't intrinsically bad, just have terrible circumstances; however that doesn't absolve them of what they do.
I still see his mum from time to time, she's a close family friend and a lovely woman.
- MoreBoar
Another Kind Of Victim
Three of the "popular" boys I went to high school with went over to a man's house to rob him and then beat him to death. All of them got 25 to life.
I didn't know them too well because I ran in different circles, but I distinctly remember the next few weeks in school because a large population of our high school was devastated about them doing this/getting sentenced. I was friends with one of the guys' little sisters and she was so heartbroken. They had a counselor come and talk to every class repeatedly. It reminds me how friends/family of the perpetrators can, in a way, also be victims.
No Call/No Show
I used to work with a guy named Erik Grumpelt who ended up killing another co-worker of ours. He ended up sleeping with her body under his bed for 2 to 3 months, the sick bastard.
I knew them both. Our work was very quiet & in shock the day we all heard about it We just couldn't believe it. What really messed with me was that she had been missing for a couple months and nobody reported her missing or thought it was odd for her to just disappear.
Work just marked her down as a "no call/no show" and eventually terminated her employment. There was no follow up. Like, no other coworkers attempted to contact her? Or if they did try to, they didn't think it was odd when they never could get ahold of her?
And what about her family? None of them noticed she was gone for 3 months & never showed up to work?
The entire thing just messed with my head. The only reason all this was found out was because Erik couldn't live with the guilt anymore and came clean to his dad, who immediately called the police.
Part of me wonders if he hadn't done that, how much longer it would've been before anyone started looking for her.
If you Google his name you'll see plenty of news articles about it.
Over the next couple years we would sometimes receive calls from debt collectors at work asking for him. As far as I know, debt collectors aren't allowed to call places of business, but I could be wrong.
Anyways, I would always tell them that they probably wouldn't be hearing from him anytime soon & to Google his name if they want to know why.
She Never Stopped Loving Him
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Not me, but my mom met Richard Ramirez. Her aunt used to babysit her and dated Richard and would bring my mom along because she would go out with him on nights that she was supposed to watch my mom. My mom hated him--she thought he was really creepy. My great aunt loved him though. She never stopped. He sent her a wedding gift while he was on death row. She mourned him when he passed. F*cked up because my aunt is a bible banging Christian and disowned my mom for coming out as gay.
Hanging Out With Javy
I was a sophomore in high school in 2011. One night my friend, Danny, asked me if I wanted to hang out. I said yeah and invited my best friend to come along; Danny invited his friend Javy. Danny picked us up we stopped by a gas station. I got out of the car with Danny. Javy also got out. We paid and went to out the gas in the car we finished and Javy was still inside the store. We were just waiting then we see him running yelling at Danny:
"Turn on the car! Hurry!"
He had stolen beer. Danny didn't seem to happy that Javy didn't at least warn him of what he was planing to do. He could've gotten caught. We get back to Danny's place where Javy seemed like he had an interest in my best friend he was trying to talk to her but he wasn't her type. Javy didn't quite make a good impression, but at the time that was Danny's close friend. Spring break came along and we started hanging out more going out bowling and just hanging out at Danny's house and going to the movies. Javy kinda grew on me, but one thing I've always noticed was that Danny never left us girls alone with him. Class had resumed and we didn't hang out with Danny as much because had graduated already.
I live in a quiet neighborhood where nothing really happens no robberies, violence, such things like that. Until we did hear a girl that got murdered near where we live people started making it a big deal because that's unheard of there. One day I was getting ready in my mom's room and heard the news talking about the story.
I didn't think anything of it until I happened to walked by the TV and there was Javy's picture there. I stood there frozen. I cried out "That's Javy!" and just started crying. My mom kept asking me what's wrong so I explained that was who I hung out with them my whole spring break. I called my best friend and told her to turn on the news. We watched in shock.
Apparently, Javy stalked her on her way home from a friends. He raped her, stabbed her and then burned her body. To this day I get the chills to think what he was capable of. He got sentenced to death.
- huie890
All On Camera
My high school boyfriend had this best friend, who we spent a lot of time with, that I was always a little meh about. Our main hang out place was the friends' house. I appreciated his parents for letting us hang out. After I graduated I left the boyfriend and never saw either of them again. About 2 years ago it was reported that the best friend had a psychotic break and murdered his father. His family was concerned about his well being and had installed cameras and caught it all on camera.
- MeggieAC
What WAS Unthinkable
We went to school together, and I tore his ACL in practice. I went to college in upstate NY at SUNY Geneseo. His name was Colin Kingston. I knew him by name, if we saw each other wed give a nod and say "yo". I played Rugby and he was really good friends with some other guys on the team so he would show up at parties and gatherings every now and again. He even came to a few practices but was an upper classman and I guess focused more on getting out of school at the time. At one practice I tackled him and he fell the wrong way tearing his ACL. I remember because I felt really bad about it. He was a casual member of team and I remember feeling some guilt that he would be injured causing him to miss whatever games he would've been able to play. A couple years after graduation, he was maybe 2-3 years older than I, his girlfriend, still a current student, breaks up with him.
Early Sunday morning he drives to her house and stabs her and, I'm assuming, her new boyfriend. The victims were Kelsey Annesse and Matthew Hutchinson. Both Student athletes, her a basketball player, and he a hockey recruit. The murder happened early morning so maybe he walked in on them sleeping, I'm not sure. After he realized what he had done he phoned his dad and confessed saying he was going to take his own life thus turning it into a double murder suicide.
In an even more chilling twisted my good friend and teammate was dating, and still is, one of Kelseys teammates. They knew and played with each other. The incident comes across conversation every so often in our friend group. It really grounded us in terms of the unimaginable. What was unthinkable was now real and we were very close to the epicenter. We all got a little more protective of the women in our lives, both romantic and platonic.
Time For All Of This
I was engaged to one. I've known him since I was 14. He brutally murdered and sexually assaulted his neighbor one night and was able to keep it hidden for almost a decade. He's now on trial. When they discovered his DNA and arrested him, not only did I find this out but I also found out he was involved with many other women across the country and locally. I have no idea how he had time for all of this.
- kleaxoxo
"The Bad Man Tickled Mommy"
Yes. When I was in high school a student teacher approached me and my friend to go drink with him in a motel room. We were not attracted to him in the slightest and laughed at the proposition. That made him angry.
He happened to be friends with a family member of mine who was older and an established member of the community. He told my family member that me and my friends were selling drugs (no way, we were lucky to find a little weed on the weekend).
My family member believed him and began a "we must find out what [me] is doing!" campaign. I came clean about smoking a bit of weed but also shared what this asshole had done. It fell on deaf ears.
A year later, this man murdered his wife in their driveway while their 3 year old son watched. The 3 year old was quoted as saying, "the bad man tickled Mommy." He stabbed her to death.
He is still in jail as far as I know and my family member apologized.
Mono Saved Her Life
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I studied abroad in Valparaiso, Chile, in 2010. There is a bar called Cafe Journal that was/is very popular with tourists on Wednesday nights. Unfortunately, I had mono during most of my semester abroad (undiagnosed until I got home to see a doctor) so I had a hard time keeping up with the Latin American college student party lifestyle. I was always the first one of my friends to go home. But I really wanted to go to Cafe Journal on this particular night because our semester was rapidly coming to an end and I wouldn't get many more chances.
I showed up, had a few drinks, got extremely tired right away (as one does with mono.) I decided I'd get ready to leave, and visit the baño real quick. On my way back to my friends, I was approached by a guy I didn't know, whose accent sounded like he was trying to imitate a Chilean. He was friendly at first, but I really just wanted to GTFO and go to bed, so I told him it was nice to meet but I was leaving. He became immediately concerned for my safety and tried to convince me to stay with him. It wasn't safe to go home alone in that area. It's notable that, as a petite blonde American, I looked quite out of place at this bar (even with an abundance of other tourists present) and he had no way of knowing if I was just passing through.
But by this point, I had already lived in the area for a few months and was quite aware of what was and what was not safe to do. In this case, it was totally fine for me to take a colectivo (taxi with a fixed route that picks up and drops off passengers along the way) by myself, so I knew this guy was either being machismo or weird. He stayed friendly but became very pushy and even more "concerned." None of my friends gave a shit I was leaving alone, so neither did I. My gut told me to get away from this as fast as possible. My aching body said "IDGAF JUST LET ME SLEEP!"
I realized I needed to ghost him. I relented to his concern and excused myself to say goodbye to my friends, then he could escort me home to "safety." I went over to my friends' table and told them this weird guy was being pushy about leaving together, and I am trying to leave by myself, so be worried if they don't get a text from me within 30 mins. I made eye contact with him from a distance and acknowledged him.
Then, I said "fuck politeness" and hauled ass out of there! I did my best to put as many people between me and him in the crowd, using my short height to hide in the shadows of drunk people. I walked the longest possible way out of the bar as I could, and headed in the opposite direction of the colectivo line to a very well-lit late-night burger restaurant next door. I bought myself a plate of fries hoping I'd kill enough time that he thought I left without him. It worked; I walked back over to the colectivos, made sure he was gone, had an uneventful ride home back to my host parents' place, and passed out safe in bed.
Creepy, pushy bar guy's face was all over the news by the weekend. He was Joran van der Sloot, and I met him the night before he was arrested for the murder of Stephany Flores Ramirez.
Loud, Obnoxious and Entertaining
When I was in high school, I was the new kid and had no friends. At lunch, I'd sit in the hallway and do my homework. There were other kids that would hang out there and we'd talk a bit. There was one girl who was clearly on drugs most days. She was loud and obnoxious, but she was entertaining to listen to.
One night she and two of her friends robbed a house and beat the disabled man who lived there to death with a hammer. They then went to a party and told everyone. One party goer went to the police and she was caught trying to leave town the next day.
Killers Are All Around Us
Most people don't realize that killers are all around us. When I worked as an outdoor, downtown-wide security guard, we had to remember a list of POIs. On the list were several murderers and rapists who had done their time and were set free.
They often roamed busy streets and, if they weren't homeless, then they looked like normal people. It's weird walking past someone- daily, mind you- knowing they killed someone.
H/T: Reddit
What could possibly go wrong?
It turns out there are so many variables that can contribute to making the bride and groom's celebration a major matrimonial miss.
Curious to hear examples of weddings gone wrong, Redditor lolf**kno asked:
"Those who have been to a ruined wedding, what happened?"
Dramatic brawls and speeches plagued these weddings.
Catty Attendees And Booze
"Very beautiful wedding in a huge barn at this apple orchard. They must have spent a ton of money on the decorations and catering because it looked like something out of a magazine. The ceremony was great, the flower girl did her thing, the vows got everyone choked up. Everything seemed to be going well. Not even 15 minutes into the reception the mothers of the bride and groom getting into a full out brawl, hair pulling, red wine being thrown. Their sons jump in to defend their honor, chairs start being throw, tables are flipped, parents are grabbing children and running for their lives."
"​The bride and groom are horrified and leave immediately and head back their honeymoon suite. My fiancé and I left after this as well but we heard from some other friends that most people ended up staying and getting wasted at the open bar on the bride and groom's dime. Apparently, the fight started because one of the groom's sister complimented the bride's grandmother's dress. The bride's mom thought she was being sarcastic and called her a b*tch, then the drama ensued. Mind you they had all been pregaming the wedding pretty hard."
– AdmiralWackbar
Playing For The Drunk Uncle
"I played a wedding where as we started playing the set, everyone ran outside and nobody was to be seen for the rest of the night."
"I originally assumed it was because nobody liked us but the bride came in afterwards and said there was a huge fight involving multiple members of both families and everyone basically went home upset, injured or in a police van."
"We couldn't stop playing since we were payed and it was our job, and the only person watching was the drunk uncle dancing on his own asking for requests we didn't know."
– TornApartByLisa
Maid Of Honor Speech Goes Off The Rails
"Was a guest of friend of the bride, did not know anyone attending. Very expensive over the top place, several hundred guests of this very Italian wedding. Maid of honor grabs mic at the cocktail hour begins her speech, rambling, drunk. Quickly devolves to stating the recently deceased mother of the bride was against this wedding and that's basically what killed her. Plus Vinny will never give up sex workers. She is tackled by several people and dragged away."
"The happy couple is separated and divorced within a year."
– Rocky1268
This is what happens when bad luck crashes weddings.
Tumbling Into The Sunset
"I work at a golf course with a lot of history behind it. We do wedding venues inside the clubhouse and the actual ceremony is held outside by the historic water fountain and large pond."
"First problem was the weather. I live in the high desert and it was very warm. A solid 90 degrees that day and it was also pretty windy. So everyone's outside, no umbrellas, no ezups."
"The next problem, and probably the worst, was the golf cart incident. The bride and groom wanted to 'ride into the sunset' on one of our golf carts. Drive around a little bit on the golf course. To be fair, it is beautiful on the course during sunset. However the cart had somehow gotten a nail in the tire, tire went flat, battery on the cart went crazy and the cart ended up freaking out. It came to an complete stop from 15mph to zero. The wheels and mechanisms locked up, almost seizing. Both the bride and groom (fairly overweight mind you) both fell out and rolled over a few times. They were totally okay, just a few bruises and perhaps a bruised ego or two. So retrieving that cart was fun."
"And last but not least, the power inside the clubhouse went out to do the high winds. There was no after party available. Only the cake was cut, hardly any food was given out. Yeah, not a great day to cover for someone on your day off."
– Itsallover_
Foggy Memory
"I was not born yet, but my parents rented the observation deck on the Hancock building in Boston for their reception. Tallest building in the city, beautiful view. My dad pored over historic weather charts to figure out what day was statistically most likely to be nice out. Day of the wedding comes and of course, thick fog unlike anything they'd ever seen before. Couldn't see a thing out the windows of the room they had picked specifically for the view."
"Worked out well though, they were happily married for nearly 30 years before cancer took my dad's life a few years ago."
"There's one other funny anecdote from that wedding: The wedding was held in Kings Chapel, which is an incredibly historic church here in downtown Boston that's somewhat of a major tourist attraction. To close that on a weekend afternoon for a wedding, it turns out, was not very expensive. The tourists waiting outside to see the church didn't know that, though, and someone started the rumor that my parents were incredibly wealthy, maybe even Kennedys. As a result, there were tons of people taking photos of them when they left the ceremony. Not sure if any of them ever figured out that my parents were most certainly not rich or famous."
– mimicthefrench
Morbid Surprise
"I was best man at my sister in laws wedding (stepped in for the brother of the groom, that's another story entirely)."
"For a whole year of planning all the bride (SIL) wanted was a dove release while they said handwritten vows to each other. Very small, non denominational (most of the family are atheist anyway) wedding."
"Day arrives (early summer) and something is off with the bird handlers. They show up a bit late and are sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time comes to say their vows I help the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to what is to be the altar where the bride and groom are standing."
"Vows are just about wrapping up and the handler gives ME the signal to open the chest. I open it and see 20-30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE!!!! I immediately close it to try and limit who knows what happened. Too late. The look of horror on the bride's was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up but by the end of the reception the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on."
Tragic losses unfortunately befell leading up to or at a couple's nuptials.
The Wedding Guest Who Left Too Soon
"When I was 6 or 7 I went to a cousin's wedding. Everything was fabulous for little me, so much sugar everywhere, basically heaven. The reception was in a big community center that was reserved for the occasion. Went to the girls' bathroom, passing by the men's room to see my uncle on the floor. Went back to the main room to tell my dad my uncle was looking weird. Well, uncle had a stroke and had died."
"The bride spent the rest of the afternoon crying, and everyone except close family left."
"Bright side is the mariage is still going strong 20 years later, despite what happened that day."
– DecadentOrange
A Terminal Diagnosis
"Leading up to my friends wedding his father had been battling cancer after a terminal diagnosis. And it was touch and go whether he would be well enough to attend the wedding, in the end he was too unwell to attend despite wishing that he could."
"Just as we got to the wedding reception my friend was informed that his father had just passed away. It was devastating."
– boatson25
Wedding Crashers
"Happened to my classmate. He is successful middle level manager, divorced, about 35yo or so. Found a girl of his dreams but from a provincial poor town. The girl insisted to have the wedding in her town to show off her 'success.' The wedding is crashed by her old friends including male friends who are not that sophisticated and have some tense feelings towards the successful groom from the city. Somebody starts a fight in the middle of wedding, groom is trying to stop it and got stabbed in the back. Died right there. And he was my classmate."
– anarchyinuk
​An Unfortunate Trespassing
"The wedding was at a state park that's famous for its giant gorge/waterfall. I don't know whose idea this was, but someone suggested a photo overlooking this gorge and everybody was game. The wedding party went around a stone security barrier and the maid of honor literally fell off the cliff to her death. It was like 500+ feet."
– SingzJazz
With a lot riding on a wedding to go off without a hitch, the mounting pressure is one where something is surely to buckle.
And because wedding guests are usually inebriated and high on the buzz of celebration, they throw caution to the wind and make some choices they wouldn't make under normal circumstances.
People's ill-advised actions can have regretful consequences, but no one expects death to be an outcome.
Fortunately, the weddings I've attended or heard about from friends were not as catastrophic as the anecdotes mentioned above.
While the Redditors' stories are sorrowful, it gives me a sense of relief these devastating examples are rare occurrences.
Have we met? That is an actual question I asked a gift giver once. (Who shall rename nameless) Football tickets. FOOTBALL TICKETS?! Who? What? I can't.
Looks Familiar
Broad City Wow GIF by Comedy CentralGiphy"My own scarf. Yes, that's right, my mother went into my room took my only scarf, wrapped it and gave it to me like it was a new scarf."
Devastation!
"Thought I was getting a bike for my 15th birthday but my foster parents announced that they were sending me to a group home after living with them for 11 years. Devastation! That place was a wake up call. More independence then at my foster home but those kids had it really really bad, 12 year old heroine addicts, abuse... what the entire hell! I hurried up, graduated from high school at 16 and got the hell out of that place. I turned out ok, work in the legal field, live in Las Vegas. I did forgive my foster parents before they died."
The Forgotten One
"My brother and I worked for a farmer one summer, and he paid us with a used car. At the end of the next year, my brother graduated high school, so my parents paid me out for my half of the car, and that was his graduation gift. I gave them all a big discount compared to what it was worth. So like $500 for my share of a $2500 car."
"2 years later, and I needed $50 for some graduation fees, so I borrowed it from my mom until I could get to the bank. (Before mobile banking and ATMs everywhere.) Later, when my mom is telling me they invited all their friends over for a 'graduation' party, I asked if they had gotten a gift for me. "Well I gave you fifty bucks."
"I paid it back the next day, and she didn't blink. The 'graduation party' was just my parents friends, who said congratulations to me, but it wasn't really for me. A few years later, my little sister graduated, she got a car. They bought a used car for her, and our other little sister got the same when she graduated. My parents are mostly nice, and I never felt like they singled me out at birthdays or anything. Just my graduation seemed like I turned invisible."
Office Party Fail
"HR complaint from two subordinates fighting over how to throw me a surprise birthday party."
- BBoySlim
"I've never worked in an office environment, but the stories I've heard of people being required to buy a cake for the whole office and to celebrate their birthday with their coworkers would be enough to keep me in blue collar work for life, were it not for the fact that I love being active and working with my hands and could never sit at a desk all day anyway."
Basics
law school finals GIFGiphy"My Asian mom's gift was "no extra Kumon homework after school homework" so my birthday gift was that I didn't get extra homework from her."
Regifting is trash behavior. Do better. I'd rather you just say I forgot. Or... I just don't care for that much. But regifting? No.
season 4 lint roller GIF by Veep HBOUnlucky 13
"Stomach flu and my first ever period, at the same time. I think it was my 13th birthday."
- kelpself
"Omg, exact same story for me. It was my 13th birthday and my family took us kids to visit our relatives in Subsaharan Africa for the first time. I was sick, jetlagged, overheated and riding down a bumpy road in a Jeep driven by my dad in the complete darkness. We had just eaten at a restaurant where I found a giant scarab beetle in the bottom of my soup bowl. I have flashbacks to this day."
Lazy Thoughts...
"My grandparents have been gifting me (and my brother) the same set of three vice grips for almost 10 years. Collectively we have 60 vice grips. I don't know if they bought a pallet of them, or where they are coming from. GET A GRIP GRANDMA!"
"I had a friend who's father was famous for doing Christmas shopping at the last minute. One year she complained that she went downstairs on Christmas morning and found, sticking out of her stocking, a spatula. Her birthday was a few days after telling that story, so myself and her friends all decided to get together and get her spatulas for her birthday, as a gag gift."
"Well, when it was our birthdays she retaliated. Which lead to a counter-offensive. And soon a new tradition was formed. And guys, I have so many spatulas now. Everything from dollar store cheap plastic, to hand-carved spatulas, a golden spatula, and even a replica of the famous Malaysian fighting spatula."
"I've got seasonal spatulas. As in, today it's time to pack away the Christmas spatulas and bring out the heart-shaped Valentine's day ones, followed by the bunny-shaped Easter ones. We've also been passing around this clip from the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF. "Spatula City, we sell spatulas, and that's all!"
Their ultimate whack-a-doo move...
"A pair of homemade custom pajamas. Only problem was that they weren't made yet. It was just the fabric and a promise to make them for me. I had to give the fabric back and I never got the pajamas."
"Holy cow my parents do crap like this. It's so freaking weird. Their ultimate whack-a-doo move was to give my wife and I a few acres of their property."
"Nothing legal just at our wedding they gave us a card that basically said 'have some land.' When the dust settled I asked what they thought we would do with it, they said build a home. I said ok, gonna need legal ownership for like building a house. They said sure we will get right on that. Then they decide to sell out and retire and never mentioned our wedding 'gift' again."
Gross...
Disgusted Steve Carell GIFGiphy"My grandma got me a hairbrush with a plastic horse head handle. The horse head was all chipped up and there was hair in the brush."
Bummer...
"My Godfather sent me a Birthday card each year which said, he paid 100 bucks to a bank account which I was supposed to get, when 16yo. He then got into alcohol, used all the money and died."
Oh for God sake, why even bother giving anything at all? Lint rollers, used brushes, homemade pjs... y'all ever hear of a gift card? Just put five bucks on it and call it a day. You can't hide cheap, so stop trying.
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I definitely wouldn't turn down an excursion to AREA 51. I'd like to poke around and get a sense of the place. I've never personally been up close and face to face with a "non-Earther." Not sure I'd like to be...
TV Truth
x files monkey pee GIF by The X-FilesGiphy"UFOs/Aliens are a cover for all of the secret projects that the government is working on. Actually stole that from the X files."
Birth
"How human birth parallels alien abductions:
- Babies are taken from their home (womb)
- They still developing sight, so they see bright lights and grey figures.
- They hear an "alien" language they don't understand.
- They suddenly feel cold after leaving their womb.
- They are in a surgery room being poked with tons of instruments.
Long story short: some people suggest that abductions are just people who had memories of their birth."
In the Mind
"I just don't think anyone will ever see this. But I think that UFO's are the projection of our unconscious collective mind. Everything that exists in reality, also exists, in our immaterial mind. Is it possible that the insides of our mind are also just one drop in the ocean of consciousness... and together we create the material reality were in, simply by experiencing it in a real way, inside-out through our senses."
Flyover...
"My father was an aircraft mechanic and fabricator for test and spy aircraft for the USAF. He spent 75-85 working with test aircraft. He said that when they were going to do a test, that could possibly be seen by the public, they would make a betting pool on how many UFO reports local authorities and flight towers received."
Under the Sea
sci-fi ufo GIFGiphy"I like the idea that some UFOs aren't machines. Instead they are some sort of Upper-Atmosphere Jellyfish. I found the issue of Fortean Times that had this article. Here's the cover: http://ft.gjovaag.com/q/images/a/ae/FT291.jpg"
- BigD1970
Interesting. There are some ideas we can look into. None of it proof, but possibilities. There are certainly plenty of future film ideas.
Like 2012...
"We are like that un contacted tribe and everyone agrees not to bother us."
"I've heard it explained from a channel (idk if you know what channeling is) kinda like this. First of all, we as a species tend to freak out, shoot first and ask questions later. Most humans would have a literal psychotic break. You have to believe in vibrational energy as it relates to our consciousness."
"The aliens (certain ones) are at such a higher level that it would be jarring for us to come in close contact with. We are slowly getting there but it's a process. Like 2012, end of the Mayan calendar, wasn't the end of the world it was the end of an energy cycle that we as the human race had never made it past before."
"Previous civilizations have been destroyed or destroyed themselves before they got this far. We passed a point where we are very unlike to destroy ourselves anymore. This doesn't mean we won't see some real bad hardships yet but we will keep progressing."
- falecf4
"train your eyes"
Dancing GIFGiphy"I was a firm believer in t em when I was in high school and kept googling theories and info in my spare time and during my study halls. They said their bodies were so lightweight or something that the reason why you can't see the evidence is that they disintegrate before hitting the ground."
"And then LOL it was so funny, some people would swear you could "train your eyes" to see rods... HhhahAHAHAHA. Like there were these experts. Video showed him walking around with a serious face, then pointing. And he's like, "that was one just there." "You can't see them, you have to be used to them... like me."
"I've spent many years immersed into hunting them finding them. That's why I can see them." And then one day China, who loves occult stuff, had like a lab that set up a nighttime camera to capture footage of rods at night... then realized they were normal bugs at overexposure. lol"
Lurking
"The Dark Forest theory. Basically the theory that the reason we haven't made contact is because all the other civilized life in the universe/galaxy knows not to broadcast their location. They've learned that there's something awful or predatory lurking in the dark forest of our galaxy, and that it's better if they keep to themselves."
Unknowns...
"That the universe is so vast that we haven't been discovered yet."
- neoastic
"This makes sense to me because traversing the distance to or from even our our stellar neighbors would require technology that is not known to us now or likely to be known by us anytime soon if it's even possible at all. To assume without evidence that aliens could possess this technology and have visited us does not meet my skeptical standards."
- KZED73
Back and Forth
back to the future great scott GIFGiphy"Time travel exists, and UFO sightings are actually future humans coming back to our time. That is why they are so discreet, and never openly make contact."
I hope time travel exists. Now that I'm onboard for. If aliens do exist... just come on out guys. We could probably use your help.
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