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Relationships are hard. Believe it or not, love often means having to say you're sorry. It's essential to the growth and maintenance of the relationship. It's also how a relationship can come back from the brink of demise.


u/rainbowcake12 asked Reddit:

When did you ALMOST end things with your SO/spouse, and how did you fix your relationship? [Serious]

Here were some answers.

Tell Mom To Get Out

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She couldn't say no to her mom. Also her mom suuuuucked. She was super controlling and pretty emotionally and verbally abusive, calling her a whore and a failure pretty regularly. Now this was a girl who was prim and proper with a 4.0 GPA and it wasn't good enough. She was so used to having to her mom because any hint of disobedience meant days of verbal abuse and it just wasn't worth the hassle to her. I tried everything to help, from upping her self esteem to arguing with her mom myself to trying to give her more s*** then her mom when she didn't stand up for herself.

Ironically, getting married solved all our problems. Her mom tried to take control of the wedding plans and she just snapped I guess because she was even more confrontational than me. The first time was over a veil. She's really not into the whole idea of "giving your daughter away" and hated a veil because of it. Her mom wanted a traditional wedding and demanded she wear a veil. My SO went off on her like nothing I had ever seen from her and every time since then she has never been afraid to stand up for herself, even if she does have to some small things. I'm so proud of her.

Next stop, making Christmas not traumatic anymore.

The_Tin_Can_Man

The Tornado Was A Godsend

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Here's a story about my old roommate. He was dating this girl for a while, and it just wasn't working out. He told me one night that he was dreading it but he was going to break up with her. The next night a tornado knocked our house down and he was forced to move in with her. I guess they were forced to work through all of their issues, because he married her the following year and has never been happier.

Yeahyeahsout

Actually Try

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I had decided it was over before it began. I had dated this woman in high school and we had broken up. She and I were close off and on after. She always wanted to get back together but I was adamant about being on my own. I had horribly toxic friends who liked to make fun of her and being the spineless man I was I kept her distant.

I had one friend who kept a little pressure on me to be better. He pushed me to try again because he saw I wanted to. So with his help our relationship began again. Unfortunately I had it in my head that we would give it a try for a few months and then I would break it off. I don't know why I never considered it would just work.

Finally I mentioned it to my boss who also happened to be a friend who knew us both that I didn't think it would work but I was giving it a try. He just looked at me funny and said "Well why would it automatically not work? Have you considered trying?" I didn't know what to say. I just spent some time thinking and realized even if it didn't work, I needed to actually try. And it has been the best choice I've made. We have had rough patches but we are going nearly 6 years strong at this point and I plan on proposing here soon.

Poclionmane

So Far Away

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The long distance over three years was starting to get to me. We wanted to be together, but it seemed like she wasn't really trying hard to find a job where I lived at the time and there were not really any jobs in my pretty specific scope of IT available where she lived. Turned out she also only liked a specific type of job in her field.

It didn't help that I had met someone where I was living that I started to have feelings for and I'm pretty sure she liked me too.

At one point I tried to break it off with my SO... she could hear it in my voice before I could get the words out.. it was really difficult.. but she pleaded with me not to end it. So I didn't break it off with my SO.. stuck it out a little longer and got a job where she was living a few months later.

Now we're married with a couple of kiddos and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

grilledcheez_samich

Think Before You Drink

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I drank too much. I was never abusive, emotionally or verbally (the thought of hurting her makes me sick) But we lived apart for a year while I was finishing undergrad and she was in her first year of medical school. My drinking had apparently gotten to the point where my friends were concerned enough to contact her about it. She had no idea how much or little I was drinking at the time, other than what my friends' had told her and what I had told her.

She called me up one night and tearfully said I needed to get help or she couldn't be with me. I stopped drinking altogether for a while and saw a therapist for a few months, and that seemed to make her happy.

At the time I didn't think, and still don't think, I was an alcoholic or even close to being one, but being able to speak to a therapist and work out some of my other issues was helpful for us in the long run.

plasticCashew

Untold Stress

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There's been a few times where he hasn't communicated with me about work stress or how he's feeling about specific situations, and would get these really bad moods where he would shut me out, or snap at me over little things.

We'd argue and eventually go off into separate rooms. He stews things over, I process and try to see it from his point of view. I'd then go and talk to him and stay calm when he'd get angry again. Eventually my staying calm, calms him and he'll open up.

Now I've learnt the warning signs, so I don't get angry with him, I'm also more confident and trusting in our relationship, we've been together nearly 6 years, are buying a house and planning on getting married. I know he loves me, I don't have the insecurities from my past anymore (abusive ex), so when he does get a mood I ask him about his day, and listen (even though I don't understand much about his work) or I'll set up the good tv with whatever game he's currently playing and chill some beers in the fridge. When he's ready he'll talk it through with me. I don't push it anymore but I also don't let him stew to the point he explodes.

I come from a family that is very close and everyone knows everyone's business to a certain extent. My OH's family are very reserved in comparison, we've had to learn each others quirks from being raised so differently.

nose_ina_book

It's Not A Real Problem

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I almost did once (years ago) when we were dating because I just couldn't get her to leave me tf alone every now and then. I thought she was too clingy. Sometimes I felt like she lacked any common sense and it bothered the hell out of me.

To be honest, at the time I didn't break up with her because I was too scared that it was a mistake. I brought it up with her that I was pretty unhappy and I subconsciously wanted her to end it. I knew she wouldn't, because she wasn't that type of person. She was 100% committed to me regardless of whether or not I was having doubts.

I think that's what turned it around. I realized that she had her faults just like anyone else, but it's hard to hate that kind of commitment. It was completely and utterly my own problem, and I got over it. I really just needed to analyze my expectations for other people.

That being said, my relationship was and is a good one. We don't have serious compatibility issues. There were no major roadblocks to us being together. I understand that many relationships don't have that benefit. But in my case, I just had to realize what I had.

Ovvr9000

Anxiety As A Roadblock

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My BF and I are actually still working on it. We have been temporary breaking up once for less than a month and then there were times when we nearly broke up.

The problem is my intense social anxiety. It got to the point where I just stopped going to restaurants because I would then be forced to interact with the waiting staffs. It makes my working life a constant stress, so much that I feel like I am going to die out of stress or heart attack any time soon. It strains my relationship with my BF because it hurts him so much seeing me like this. However him acting as my caretaker or minder has killed his romantic feelings towards me. He wants a strong, assertive and indepedent kind of woman...and right now I am none of those.

I have been going to therapy for several months now and amping up on physical exercise and some extreme sports. I hope to see a more positive result someday in the future (preferably soon).

EvenCompany

Priorities

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My wife got blackout drunk at our house warming party, and ended up kissing my best friend's wife. She didn't remember anything the next morning, and had no idea why I was extremely angry with her. When I explained what happened, she cried, and I needed space. We had just moved into a rental home together, and it was tough for a while. That also wasn't the first time her drunkenness got on my nerves. She locked my friend and I out on the balcony for 15 minutes when she blacked out when it was about 30 degrees outside thinking it was funny. Luckily her friend opened up the door later. I gave her an ultimatum that she had to stop drinking heavily, or else I'd walk. Thankfully she did, and two years later we got married.

Ksn0

Balance

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I just admitted to my husband last weekend that this story was the first time I ever questioned if we were in for a troubled marriage:

My husband kept telling me he wanted to remodel the basement. I told him "sure", thinking that we'd get serious about it sometime soon, but obviously we need a plan, budget, etc.

Shortly after, on a cold February night, we're sitting on the basement couch drinking wine when my husband says "Hey, can you help me load up the truck?" I'm like, "Huh, what are we loading?" He says, "The couch. I'm going to take it to the dump tomorrow!".

I was so confused. I'm like "The couch we're sitting on now?" He says "yeah. we're going to remodel the basement, right?"

Coincidentally, he ended up sleeping on the couch that night. It turned into a pretty big fight and I was *seriously* freaked out over how impulsive he was willing to act over something that is so time consuming and expensive. I'm a serious planner and I'm very strategic. For about 2 weeks, I was horrified. Now I realize that we balance each other out in this regard!

atworknotworking89

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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