We are told that, if you're not confident, you should just "fake it til you make it."
This is great--in theory. In practice, sometimes "faking it" can have extremely real and terrible consequences, which these people found out the hardest of hard ways.
Here were some of those answers.
A rude awakening.Giphy
I faked being depressed to get pity when I was young. I kept thinking fake it till I make it but like, I didn't realize I was actually depressed...
Therapy starts Saturday, wish me luck.
When It Becomes Offensive
At Nelson Mandela's funeral, people took note of the sign language interpreter that seemed to just be making random hand gestures instead of actual sign language. Turns out he had made quite a few appearances previously and nobody had caught on that he knew literally no sign language. To me, this dude is just the poster child for 'fake it till you make it'.
My brother in law took out a loan without my sister knowing. He couldn't find a job of his liking so he would leave like he was going to work and come back like his day ended. He paid himself with the loan like it was a pay cheque. He even remortgaged the house and kept this up for THREE YEARS! No one knew and it all came to a head and they are now split and my sister is now laid off because of medical and no way of paying off this debt and now awful credit because of it.
He faked it but never made it.
Catch me if you can.
He was a literally infamous check forger in the 1970s. They made a movie out of his book, "Catch Me If You Can," but the book is way more entertaining than the movie IMHO.
In addition to his most famous impersonation (A Pan Am pilot,) at one point he impersonated a pediatrician. In a teaching hospital. He had residents and interns under him. His technique was, when faced with almost any case, he'd ask the resident, "What would you do in this situation?"
The resident would say, "Well, I'd blah blah blah," and Abangale would say, "So do that."
....until a resident ran up to him and said, "Doctor! We have a blue baby in room 102!"
And Abangale laughed and said that he'd attend to that right after the "green baby in 203!"
He didn't know that a blue baby meant an infant that was not breathing and thus cyanotic. He literally saw the look on everyone's face, ducked into a linen closet, and looked up 'blue baby' in the pocket medical dictionary he carried around. Then he burst out of the linen closet to "help" the residents run the code.
I'd say this qualifies.
Note: He also impersonated a DA in Alabama or some southern state. I'm telling you: The book is AMAZEBALLS.
I would always fake my personality. At school I tried to act like a bubble cheerful person because my mom wanted me to be popular like she was in school but then it backfired when I had an extreme anxiety attack and started balling my eyes out.
A happy ending.Giphy
I had the opposite happen once. I had an internship with a company, and I impressed them. They had an opening for a job that I really wasn't qualified for, but they assumed I could work it.
I couldn't, and I transferred to a more fitting job months later. I still keep in touch with them, though. They fully admit I wasn't a good fit for the job, but they know I have other skills.
Like them for who they really are.
I carefully finessed my online profiles until i was able to obtain the attention of the man I wanted. Turns out that being 110% charming, funny, confident, and attractive is a LOT more exhausting/impossible in person. I tried way too hard, got burnt out, didn't know who I was, and ultimately lost the guy anyway.
I did that twice in my early 20's. Never again.
My current boyfriend is the best of the bunch and "securing" him was a gloriously low-key experience.
I was working an XMAS job in college for a Jewellers; and made the mistake of selling a diamond brooch. I didn't realise such things had to be sold by a qualified professional and come with a authenticity certificate. But they couldn't actually punish me since I was ignorant to the fact.
Same place; also tried to replace a customers watch batteries with no idea of what I was doing. I thought 'how hard can this be?' and completely scratched it up, and then ran off and left it there, knowing it wouldn't be collected until tomorrow when I wasn't there.
The s**t you get away with as an 18 year old makes me laugh in retrospect.
When Non Je ParleGiphy
This reminds me of a TIFU post where OP moved to a new neighborhood for just a few months and decided to take some LSD to break it in. OP thought it was a good idea to go for a walk and when he went outside, his new neighbor greeted him. Being on LSD and a bit of an introvert, he avoided conversation by speaking French as he knew enough to get by and did not plan on staying there for an extended period of time. This went on for about eight months (longer than he expected to stay there) and eventually the neighbor had a friend of hers over who also spoke French and tried to start up a conversation with him. That's when he was like "yeahh... I don't speak French."
Climbing the ladder.
Almost living it right now. I'm a decent engineer. I work at a small firm. I don't think I want to do this type of work much longer, and I sure don't want some major controlling interest in a firm. But I do this because it's something I can do well, and provides will for my family. I'm currently looking at other career options that can make use of my ability and still provide as well.
I was told I'm on track to replace the head engineer, who's second in command and had 49% ownership of the firm.
No surprise there.
My colleague was trying to impress a potential client. During a conversation, he was asked if he liked the Toronto Raptors and my colleague, who knows nothing about sports but wants to "fake it" says that he's a huge fan and loves baseball! And this was when we just won the chip.
Basically, he didn't end up signing the deal...
I faked I was 15 when I was 8, I'm 11 now. Anyway this was a game and a girl told me she was 15 so I told her I was 15. We chatted for 6 months (well it weren't really chatting it was mainly "hey." "Hey." "What are you up to?" "Nothing much, you?" "Same" ) then eventually she became my much older online girlfriend.
About another 6 month then I came clean and told her I was 9, she wasn't angry or disappointed, she didn't care, so that was the time I basically dated a pedophile for a year.
I am a cop and I was on a murder case. The evidence lead me to a stadium during a baseball game and there were some strong leads suggesting one of the players on the field could be hiding a gun. I had to figure out how to mix in with the players and luckily I found out there was a guy who was supposed to sing the national anthem.
I visited him in his room while he was preparing for the show, knocked him out and took his place. All worked fine until I had to step out and actually sing the anthem.
When You're Looking Busy
Guy I used to work with told me about when he used to work as an electrician apprentice at a plant. When there was nothing to do, which apparently was most of the time, the lead guy and him would walk out to a random spot in the plant with a ladder a conduit bender and a bent piece of conduit. Then one of them would stand on top of the ladder and the other on the ground holding the conduit and they'd just chit chat all day. If any of the bosses wandered by they'd nod and pass the piece of conduit up to the guy on the ladder who would then make a show of trying to fit it in somewhere.
Said they both made it through 3 rounds of layoffs doing that, until they too got canned.
When You're Not Flexible Enough
I was 8 years old and I told my dance teacher I could do a backbend (I couldn't) so she moved me up a level in acro and put me in a special role for our recital. For the next week my mom tried to help me get a backbend but it wasn't happening and I had to come clean. Luckily she didn't get too mad. I had to move back down a level, but I still got to keep my special role!
I remember reading somewhere that some dude lied on his job application that he was a skilled piano player. To his surprise, his boss arranged for him to play at the yearly company party. So his friend bringing him there caught him Googling: "Most painless way to break your hand".
That story always cracks me up.
Taking it too far.Giphy
Some guy online liked me in a sexual way and kept wanting to roleplay with his weird kinks, so I started pretending to be a psychopath to drive him away, until it came to the point where I started making threats.
I lost control of myself then, and now that guy hates me to this day.
There was that one time when I boasted I was an ordained priest in Guam. It worked as a way to get discounts at the video game store, as the owner was very religious.
Unfortunately, I was boasting to a friend one day and a married couple later walks up to me and says they overheard me, and asked if I could officiate their wedding. I said sure and it worked out great. Got a girlfriend out of one of the bridesmaids and sang karaoke.
It wasn't until the fourth wedding I was asked to officiate was where I was exposed, where I gave a sermon out of the Bible, shocking the crowd. The couple and a lot of the crowd were Jewish.
They seemed to forgive me, as I read from the Old Testament the first time, and they were lenient about the botched Hebrew in a song the couple asked to sing. It wasn't until I said the wrong pronunciation in an oral passage that the crowd caught on, and I was not only stiffed of payment (though a friend of the groom gave me some cash for fooling them that long a couple of days later, possibly out of amusement), but I was chased out and threatened legal action.
I hired a mandarin translator for a game I'm developing.
Ran her translations through google translate, to find they were a good match. TOO good a match.
Showed it to a friend of mine who's from China, told me the translator just google translated everything and that the end result was barely comprehensible.
Little white lie.Giphy
During a job interview I was once asked my age and for some reason I said several years higher than I really was (said 25 when I was 21). I didn't mean to lie but at that point I couldn't say "oh, I mean 21" because I would sound like an idiot. Plus they weren't supposed to ask that anyway. So I just went with it. He wrote it down on my resume next to my salary expectations.
I did get the job and I'm sure they realized pretty quickly, if not immediately, but never said anything.
Not the smartest choice.
Not me but my aunt. She was offered a position to stage manage some performance in Quebec...in French.
When asked how well she knew French, she responded "Comme ci, comme ça," implying she knew it...at least barely conversationally.
She knew approximately zero French.
I forget the exact details but it didn't end smoothly.
Possibly this year.
I got my MA in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages, but on the adult track, meaning I didn't learn anything about how to teach kids.
Fast forward a few years of tutoring adults around my city, I land a job (miraculously) at a local elementary school. I know zero standards, don't know any of the acronyms (aside from ESL ones), none of the buzzwords. The school didn't even check to see that I had my MA, just trusted my word because they needed another ESL teacher. I faked three years of knowing what I was doing at that school, but got shit pay because it was a disorganized mess.
This year, I got hired at a new school that has their shit together. They offered me over 10k more, and I'll be the sole ESL teacher for the entire school instead of one of six at a high ESL school like I had been. This means all eyes are on me.
I know a lot of the buzzwords now, and I have the acronyms down, but in the past I've always been able to field specific primary school questions to our head ESL teacher whom I will miss so very much. Now the spotlight is on me and I am terrified.
When Cousin Couldn't Keep It UpGiphy
Went to visit my older cousin in a big city (small town girl). Before going out, he told me that the friends we would be meeting are super snobby, and would probably make fun of me if I told them I was from SmallTown-A (today I would tell him to get better friends, but when I was 18 I just wanted to fit in). We agree I would tell them I'm from City-X.
So the blonde bombshell in the group (6 years older) starts talking to me while my cousin and his friend head off to buy shots. "Where are you from?"
"OMG, me too!" She proceeds to ask me which school I went to, which coffee shop was my favorite and where my parents work - just making polite conversation. Of course, I
do the adult thing and confess make up an entire fake life story.
My cousin gets back to the table with the shots and I have never been more grateful for the opportunity to put alcohol in my mouth and stop words from coming out. At seeing me knock back my shot like an animal, my cousin forgets our cover story and loudly proclaims "Good god! You don't have to drink like you do in SmallTown-A, just chill!"
I did not look at Bombshell for the rest of the night. I have seldom wanted the earth to swallow me as much as I did in that moment.
Stay far away.
Basically all the times I faked nice to customers I didn't give a crap about as a cashier.
One customer was a middle aged man thought obligated polite conversation during transaction = he had a shot. He proceeded to invite me to his workplace for a free cup of coffee. Where did he work? The truck stop at the sketchy part of town.
Did faking nice lead to an invitation to be trafficked? F**k if I know. Man shows interest in me? My lesbian a** instinctively goes in the other direction. I will never be sorry for that.
That's how you learn.
I moved to the United States when I was about 11. At the time I had a very Indian accent and being in middle school it did not fare well for me as other kids started mocking the way I speak. I started faking an American accent just to avoid the mocking and eventually it just became the way I talk.
I have since moved to yet another country where my friends mock me as "the most white sounding Indian". I can't change my my accent even if I wanted to.
The entire Dr. Death podcast series. He was the WORST surgeon and continued to maim and kill patients.
I forced myself to vomit everyday before school so I didn't have to go. I got diagnosed with appendicitis and had to go the hospital. There wasn't anything wrong with me (obviously) and I ruined my grades.
Ah, elementary school.
In 2nd grade, I had to give an oral book report on The Duck Who Thought He Was a Watchdog. I did not read it and was just making up everything. My teacher obviously knew I was lying, and kept asking me questions about it, and I kept making stuff up.
Eventually she had enough of it, and slammed the book down on the ground and yelled at me in front of everyone.
When You Need A JobGiphy
A few years ago I got a job interview after months of looking. I was desperate. I thought I was going to be working in the mail room for the City but when I arrived it turned out it was for delivering mail between City offices. Okay, no big deal, I can do that. Well, in my province we have G1 (Learners), G2 (Still have some restrictions about when/who you can drive with) and G (Full License).
Well, I needed my full G for the job but hadn't gotten around to doing the test. No big deal, I thought, I'll just go along and schedule a test ASAP, hopefully before any paperwork needs to be done. So I went through the interview and I think I'm home free, but no. They want to do a driver's test right then and there, and I need to present my license to the testing company.
Thinking quick, I tell them I don't have my license on me. Well, they need it and they were willing to find a City employee to drive me back out to my house (~30 mins away) and get it. Backed into a corner I finally have to admit that I don't have my G license. I blurted it out and basically ran out of the office and didn't look back.
Still one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.
John Spano was a fraud who almost bought the NY Islanders hockey team. He was only worth 5 million but he "bought" the team and their cable rights for 165 million.
He was found out once the payments were due and instead of sending 17 million he tried to pay 1,700 instead. He ended up getting arrested for wire fraud.
When You Don't Know What A Manhattan Is
Got a part time job as a bartender to help with bills. Told them I knew how to bartend. I can pour a whiskey coke and beer so just figured I'd pick up the rest as I went along. 1st week I was serving to get to know the menu and someone called in sick. Owner makes me bartend. So I'm doing fine, just beers and a few mixed drinks. Then a party of about 40 people coming from a wedding come in and starts asking for all these different shots, different specialty drinks, etc. Total Yikes.
When A Cat Screeching Is Your Theme SongGiphy
I took orchestra in elementary school and I eventually realized that I was just not going to understand violin. But I still wanted to be in orchestra because it had some perks. So, whenever we had lesson I put my fingers over the strings and moved my bow around like I meant it. When we had to play individually, I had to do it for real. I thought maybe, by some miracle, I'd get it and play normally.
Faking your whole life by not living as yourself as you turn into someone else and fail to achieve happiness. You constantly distant yourself from your loved ones in search for money thinking that it would eventually solve your problems. But it doesnt end there and it gets worse and worse until you get crippling depression and are ready to hang yourself.
Be yourselves and be happy.
When It Could Have Backfired, But You Got Lucky
Okay, I guess it ultimately didn't backfire, but it's a pretty good story I was told in film school eons ago. Back in the 80/90s, a guy snagged an interview for a camera operating job at a TV production company that was way above his experience level. The interviewer gave him a camera, said "okay, take this apart and lay it all out for me. You have 20 minutes," and left him there. After panicking for a minute, he walked down the hall, found a technician working and asked him to take apart the camera for him, which he did. Interviewer comes back, says, "good work. Now put it back together," and goes off to put out some other fires. Our guy tracks down the tech, who obliges again, and he was hired. When I heard this story the guy had worked in the field 15 or so years so I guess things worked out.
Don't do that to yourself.Giphy
I had a new part-time job. First couple days there I felt terrible, stressed, anxious, and depressed. I pushed through it and starting feeling ok with the job with occasional feelings of stress.
Six weeks in I had a mental breakdown in front of some coworkers. I quit later that week out of shame and to help my mental health. I later weighed myself and found that I had lost around 20 lbs. over the time I worked there, weight I wasn't trying to lose.
We had a 'doctor' one time at the hospital going around giving orders and stuff for 2 whole weeks until another doctor called him out for doing something stupid and he disappeared.
Turns out he wasn't a doctor and apparently had been going state to state faking it. I don't know how he got access to our computer system and an ID badge but he did somehow
More background checks, please.
I worked with an absolute sociopath. After she got fired for stealing (of course) she applied to be a programmer at a huge business.
She didn't even own a computer or know how to turn one on.
I would give an arm and an eye to have been there her first day. She'd told me that she was "ballsy" and "ambitious" and would "figure it out" because she's so "intelligent."
I hope the hiring team got a workshop in background checks.
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel....Giphy
This will get buried, but this is a semi relevant story to when I was in first grade.
Some back story here: Every Christmas we would go my Grandma's house and spend Christmas there. She had various toys around and a few in particular were spinners. They were basically plastic cones with a peg sticking out of the bottom. You would simply spin them on the point of the cone similar to like a bey-blade. The spinners were some of my favorite toys at Grandma's house.
So in First grade we're learning about different religions, cultures, etc. Up comes the topic of the Jewish religion. The teacher is explaining that around the Holidays, Jewish people would spin Dreidel's and celebrate Hanukkah. She then asks if anyone is Jewish so we can learn more about their culture.
I raise my stupid little hand thinking the little plastic spinners I was spinning at Grandma's house must make me a Jew.
She proceeds to ask me questions like if we celebrated Christmas, etc. A lot of other questions too which I probably answered like an idiot and confused the hell out of her, but the rest of the class was learning from this "experience".
It wasn't until a few months later that my mom comes home from Parent teacher conferences and is like.. Why did you tell your teacher you were Jewish?
I'm just like.. we're not?
I tried football in grade school. Didn't put in the time to memorize plays and stuck to defense. My last year, one of the coaches thought about putting me in offense, and I had to come clean.
Stopped playing after that year for many reasons, that being one of them.
This is my friends "fake until you make it story":
So at our elementary school there was this book club that did competitions and had meetings every Friday. My friends mother told her to sign up for it and she forgot about it and missed the deadline to sign up. So, for 7 months straight she pretended to be in the group and had her mother buy the books the club was reading (the school was supply the club with the books).
It was all going perfectly her mother learned a big competition was coming up and she had to write an essay to try out for the team (it was mandatory). So, her mother went to the library and asked the lady for the essay prompt and date of competition. The library employee then told her that her daughter had never signed up and she had wasted money on books my friend would never read/need again.
It took a while for her to earn her mothers trust back.
I worked for a Savings and Loan which refused to give me a raise to the salary of the guy I replaced. This irked me because I was already doing his job in addition to my own, so I took a contract job and left for greener and frankly more lucrative pastures.
The guy they replaced me with was rejected by me in my interview with him: he didn't know 'C' programming, SunOS/Solaris, Sybase database syntax or anything else I did. I wore a lot of hats. Anyway this dude announced in the interview he was going to "optimize" the server to disk layout and really take care of things but couldn't explain how. But he was a friend of one of the System/36 guys and they both seemed to think "How hard can UNIX be? We know mainframes!" Whatever.
A few weeks later I got a call from my wife who still worked there: the servers were down because Mr. Optimize was hired and did exactly what he said. He apparently rearranged all the cables and when the servers didn't come up he declared I'd remotely hacked into the system and crashed everything. Sigh. I called my old boss and said "Look, believe whatever you want but I told you that guy doesn't know a root prompt from a hole in the ground. Call this dude at the local Sun office and he'll fix you right up."
Sure enough local Sun SE came out and figured out which disk controller was supposed to go to which disk and corrected all the mount points either by switching back the cables or changing the device names. Either way I was vindicated and Mr. Optimize The Server was fired.
Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?
You're not alone.
Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.
Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.
AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"
Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.
"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015
"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo
"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz
"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades
Take Your Pick
"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100
"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer
"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er
"Lembas" -- Roxwords
"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister
Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.
The One and Only
"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox
"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits
"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo
"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified
"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85
"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy
Get a Big Old Chunk
"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."
Slurp, Slurp, Slurp
"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox
"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM
"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun
Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.
That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.
What's In It??
"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes
"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth
Slice of the Future
"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91
"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros
As Sweet As They Had
"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon
"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes
"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade
Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.
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When a movie rakes in a ton of cash at the box office, the studio that made it has only one thing on its mind: "How do we keep shaking this money tree?"
Unfortunately, that means they make sequels, sometimes sequels on sequels on sequels.
At times, the sequels are solid. They tie nicely into the first film, emphasizing the qualities that brought folks out to the first one, while immersing them into that world for another great couple of hours.
But sometimes, it's wildly clear that the longterm planning behind a sequel was minimal at best. These part two's are truly terrible experiences, made even more disappointing by the excitement created by everyone's love for the first.
Some Redditors shared the worst examples.
Sullivans97 asked, "What is the worst movie sequel ever?"
Plenty of contributions to the thread were noteworthy simply because the Redditors' deep hatred for a sequel spurred them to write a very entertaining review.
"Son of the Mask. Worst sequel. Worst movie. Worst piece of entertainment. Worst experience to sit through as a human being."
Oddly Specific Analogy
"Independence Day: Resurgence."
"What the fu** was that giant heap of steaming camel sh**?"
Two Key Elements
"The plot is mostly driven by Mushu acting like a real piece of sh**, and Shang gets turned into the butt monkey of the movie as a consequence."
"Vastly inferior to the first one."
Just Horrible Decisions Every Step of the Way
"Where is Speed 2?"
"Speeding cruise ship (Zzzzzzz)"
"WTF were they thinking?"
Other people chose to discuss the sequels that, for whatever reason, chose not to include the key attributes that made the first movie so good.
Whether it was the absence of character, actor, or overarching theme, the experience was as puzzling as it was frustrating.
Insert Muscle Here
"Kindergarten Cop 2. Yes it does exist and it is a bad as it sounds. Dolph Lundgren takes over the role of Schwarzenegger." -- TheBassMeister
"Bro, don't be such a jabroni. Imagine, a super ripped, super smart cop-in a mesh tank top-named officer Dolph Lundgren." -- why_not_fandy
"Ugh wtf the movie was great why make another one" -- c_girl_108
"American Psycho 2. It wasn't even originally intended to be a sequel, they just shoved the name on it and added loose references to Patrick Bateman. Awful." -- Mountain_Situation89
"Mila kunas who is in it was told it was a different name and was pissed when they ended up making it a 'sequel' " -- Imfrank123
"Yea, that's the thing. The movie would have been a decent film if it was just a serial killer film and not an AP sequel." -- JennyBean2000
"It had some okay parts, but what they did to Justin Long's character completely undercuts the meaning of the first movie. And no Ryan Reynolds."
Last, some people realized that any film franchise that goes beyond two installments is just asking for things to go downhill in a hurry.
Once you cross three--and even four--your just too far from the source.
What Even Is Home Alone 5?
"Home Alone 3, 4, and 5" -- theWet_Bandits
"I honestly enjoyed 3, sure it made no sense at all, but I can look past that and really enjoyed it. 4 and 5 on the other hand, I barely remember what 4 was about and had completely forgotten that 5 existed until just now." -- botbattler30
End of the Mummy Era
"The third Mummy movie." -- goshawkgirl
"Fun fact: The trailer for Mummy 3 has Brendan Fraser saying "here we go again" and Ben Stiller thought that line was ironically hilarious in terms of cranking out soulless sequels and it inspired the 'here we go again....again' line in the fake trailers at the beginning of Tropic Thunder." -- Call_Me_Koala
Part of the Reboot Frenzy
"Not to repeat others here (hopefully), but the 4th Indiana Jones movie should never have been made."
"For what it is worth, The odd numbers are great, the even numbers are terrible with the last one being one being Steven Segal bad."
So there you have it. A full list of movies to avoid at all costs no matter how bored you are flicking through Netflix lists.
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Oftentimes I like to do my best Ghostface impression and aggressively ask people what their favorite scary movies are. Because I personally have a lot! At the same time, I'm also terrified that at any point, I could end up getting my head punched off by Jason Vorhees (Part 8 of the series--best one IMO).
Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.the simpsons react GIFGiphy
My friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
Don’t you hate when that happens?Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy
I was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.Giphy
I am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
I hate hypocrites. They are the bane of my existence. All you have to do is stand behind your words. How hard is that? You said them. I especially get peeved when people bloviate on a topic and condemn and holler but then when it comes to them doing it... silence.Redditor u/ErrForceOnes wanted to know about the moments people chose to curiously "pay no mind" by asking... What is a GIANT hypocrisy that no one seems to mind?
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphy
Italian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDSGIF by MOODMANGiphy
People screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
FashionFashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphy
If a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016Giphy
Politicians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.
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