Being gay or bi is a fabulous thing! Now, it can be a daunting and lonely experience, sure. After all, it is a a life altering revelation. Once you know, for sure, there is no going back. Often when one discovers about themselves it can come as a surprise. And you realize the signs were there all along, you just have to follow them.... all the way down the glittered road.
Redditor u/AgeOfZac wanted to hear from everyone about 'that moment' when they no longer could hide their true selves by asking.... Homosexuals/Bisexuals of reddit. What was your 'gay awakening' moment?
Close your Eyes....
GiphyI was 13 and discovered my body, i closed my eyes, enjoyed myself and i just started thinking about hot guys i knew. And thats when i knew i was gay. mynamejop
So Far Away....
Girls in my class used to always ask each other about their crushes. I used to feel left out cause I didn't like any of the boys everyone else liked. But there was this one pretty upperclassman who was in the same club as me. She used to smile at me in the hallways and give me candies during club meetings. Only realized that I had a big crush on her after she graduated and moved away. bakaoneechan
Think Anally....
Well, it kinda dawned on me one day that some of the sexual desires I had been projecting onto women my whole life could actually be things I wanted to experience myself, and I never realized it. Bi-curiosity masquerading as typical sex drive and sexual frustration, hidden by naivete.
So it turns out, I'm bi. To be clear, I still like women, that's not changing. I have a girlfriend. But when I started experimenting with men, I learned that my attraction is deeper than I'd thought. Frankly speaking, to give an example, my thought process was something like, "Maybe the reason I'm so interested in pursuing the ever elusive anal sex with women is because I am the one who wants it."
I was right. Sad_Sheepherder
Good Girls....
I think it's pretty common for bi people to figure their sh!t out late because the "normal" hot attraction is also there. I was just like yeah! Of course girls are hot! All girls think girls are hot, but it's not like, in a gay way, because obviously I like dudes too.
Reader, not all girls think girls are hot. I'm just dumb. geneofinterest
Bi... the way!
GiphyWhen I discovered porn, it didn't take me too long to start exploring less vanilla stuff. I didn't really think anything of it, I just thought of gay porn as no different than lesbian porn or anything else that was kinkier or more taboo than straight stuff.
This kept up through several straight relationships, until my senior year of college when I was at the tail end of a really crappy, long term, on again off again relationship. At one point I just said "screw it" and found a guy on Craigslist to hook up with. Since then I've had several fun hookups with guys and definitely consider myself bi. RoloJP
What's Normal?
I was 17 when I came out as Bi but for 5 years or so I couldn't connect the pieces of why I had crushes on men and watched gay porn because "well, I'm attracted to women so I can't be gay? Because Gay guys aren't attracted to women? I don't know what's going on but it's not gay."
And the funny thing is, it's not like I didn't know the word Bisexual. I think there was just a part of me that wanted to believe that I was just a "normal" straight guy who had this quirky habit of thinking guys were also hot. That, as long as I kept that part of myself secret, I would be accepted as just another person and not treated differently (worse).
The irony is I was hurting myself more by holding onto that defensive view. CloverGreenbush
That Damn Booty....
I denied being attracted to girls for a pretty long time. I wasn't even raised in an environment that wasn't accepting of different sexualities (my grandpa was gay), but I was just so confused at the idea that I could be bi. It was a "that's ok for everyone else to do, but not me" situation. I genuinely thought there was something wrong with me. I kept saying to myself "this will change once have sex with a boy" but I have a very clear memory of staring at a girl's butt during a softball game while I was playing outfield.
I caught myself and at first I was mad because I was trying to "kick the habit" of looking at girls, but the more I thought about it I started to understand that there wasn't something wrong with me and it was just who I was. I denied it for a little bit longer until I watched porn for the first time (it was girl on girl) and I just kinda realized I couldn't say I would grow out of it anymore and after kissing girls I knew I wouldn't grow out of it. olive2619
Coin Toss....
Fell in love with a 6'5 bear at work. Also fell in love with a petit 5 foot tall Asian girl. I wanted them both but the guy had a girlfriend so I went for the girl.
Picture this: A boy in a toy store looking longingly at a big handsome teddy bear and a doll. He wants both but when he comes back the next day, the teddy bear was gone. So the boy settles for doll. absolutemonsterxx
Here I go Again. My. My. How can I resist ya?
GiphyMine was more "gradual enlightenment" but I think my parents was when they took me to go see 'Mamma Mia' and I liked it a bit too much. AgeOfZac
The great thing about the 'Mamma Mia' movies is that they have something for everyone, whether you're a gay guy or a lesbian or anything else: shirtless guys dancing on the beach, MILF Christine Baranski, Amanda Seyfried, not to mention the musical numbers. It's a cinematic masterpiece. I've never met a gay person who doesn't love Mamma Mia. cliticalmiss
When I was little, my mum was taking me to school and I heard Fergie saying:
"All the time I turn around brothas gather round, always looking at me up and down, looking at my unhHHH."
At that precise moment, I knew I was gay. brunoalexkray
Redditor _ReDd1T_UsEr wanted to discuss the reasons why many of us decided to cut some people out of our lives, so they asked:
"What was the reason why your friendship ended with someone?"
Sometimes a person just has to go.
Planning Stages
Weekend Sunday GIF by DisneyGiphy"I stopped being the first to always initiate plans, and that was that."
Witty-Surround-6541
"I once asked a friend to plan our next breakfast + walk outing, since I always did that. He wrote me a letter ending the friendship. Stunning!"
fermat9996
Pants on Fire
"Habitual lying became too annoying and disruptive to tolerate."
Hosscatticus_Dad523
"When you constantly are thinking... this math ain't matching lol. People that lie all the time make me sick. I've told multiple friends that you don't have to lie to me."
"I feel so much better when someone can trust me and feel comfortable telling me a hard truth than an easy lie."
"Even if the truth made me feel some type of way, I'm still glad it was honest. I've even said thank you to people in the past that have been honest with me, good or bad! Some people just can not help lying about things. I wouldn't be able to ever keep a story straight if I did that."
__eden_
Bad Behavior
"He kept having kids with different girls and bailing on them. Coming from a 'went out for a pack of smokes' Dad myself, I just couldn't watch it anymore. Bailed after the third one. Think he's up to 6 now."
KingGuy420
"Reminds me of one of my ex-friends. She kept having kids with MULTIPLE guys (all of them were one-night stands), I don't think she even knows who the baby daddies are."
"She also kept begging me and people for money for pot, and she also bragged about having OnlyFans. She'd also make up stories about being in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend (she'd also cheat on him/tell people her and him they broke up, which they weren't)."
wisconsinking
Reasons
"I was a bad person and they ended it for perfectly sensible reasons. I would have done the same. I've changed, but I don't blame them for not reconsidering contact."
tabletopsidekick
"I’ve been there. I was a bad person and lost friendships and family relationships. I tried to apologize to everyone I hurt."
PDXGalMeow
"I also accepted that they don’t want me in their lives anymore. I learned that I made my mistakes, I learned from them, and I accept their choices. I don’t self-hate anymore and I try to be a better person in general. I hope you are doing well and practicing self-love and forgiveness."
PDXGalMeow
Money Issues
Donald Duck Money GIFGiphy"I lent them $20 and then they avoided me so they didn’t have to pay me back. Worth the $20."
BuickAssault
"I don't ever expect prompt returns of small amounts of money between my friends... we all buy each other rounds or buy the food for the BBQ or whatever. It ends up evening out over time I think we'd notice though if someone was always taking and never giving and then they'd probably get cut off too."
Badloss
In the immortal words of Cyndi Lauper... "Money Changes Everything."
Lack of Support
Happy Planning GIFGiphy"She joined a pyramid scheme selling butt-ugly leggings and it took over her whole life. When I finally told her it was negatively affecting our friendship, she accused me of not supporting her 'business.'"
LeftandLeaving9006
Oh Driver
"I was basically a taxi for my friends so I dumped them all."
Bullfrog_Little
"This one I can understand but depends on the situation. Not all of my friends had cars in high school, so our group needed to have me and my sh*tty '94 Plymouth Sundance come, or they couldn't do anything. I didn't mind at all then, but I definitely would these days."
Hoopajoops
"I remember I used to drive around with my buddies all the time before they had licenses. When one of my friends got his and a car I said sweet now you can drive me around for a bit, he replied that he wasn't gonna waste his money on gas like that. See ya, haven't really spoken to him since."
DontcallmeShirley_82
2063
"How's this for oddly specific: Friend since 1980, was hanging out at a bar in 1992 and there was a dispute of over a $15.00 bar tab. I was in the right, but whatever - he held a grudge for years."
"Ran into him in 2017 and we were both too old to care. Started to see each other now and then. 2023 and we're at this local bar for a show and got into a fight about $15.00 a ticket."
"Maybe he'll call me in 2063."
The68Guns
Exhausting
"She was a taker, constantly. When I needed something she made it about her yet again. Exhausting to be around."
LordyIHopeThereIsPie
"I'm going through this right now. Can't tell you how many texts I have from her in the past few days telling me that I need to get over myself, need to stop making myself the victim, have been a terrible friend, have never been there for her."
"She's the most narcissistic person I know and everyone does everything for her. She has one of the easiest lives ever and anytime anything bad happens to her she believes that everyone is against her and she's the victim here. It's pure insanity. There is no talking sense to people like this."
cheeseburgerwaffles
Life Changes
point pointing GIF by Shalita GrantGiphy"I've lost like all but two of my 'friends' because I stopped drinking and doing hard drugs."
ConcertTerrible8877
"Same here dude. My circle is small but hey at least it's a circle I know I can go to."
Miss_mayonnaise
Oh, how things change when the booze dries up.
How much fun were you really having?
Do you have any stories about cutting off a friend? Let us know in the comments below.
Curious to hear from ex-lovers who've been there, Redditor Lishasquarepant asked:
"What caused your last break-up?"
These Redditors found they and their significant other were no longer on the same page.
"Simply, we grew apart."
– catetheway
"Same, I feel like Michael Scott everytime I try to start another relationship. 'No question about it, I am ready to get hurt again.'"
– Gthew
Happier Apart
"Same. We loved each other like siblings, not spouses... Ugh! Lovely man though who now has a fab girlfriend. We are good friends and much happier apart."
– MoxieHasKnottyBits
No Regrets
"Same. And it f'king sucks, but that’s life. It’s been a year and I still hate every second that she’s not in my life, but at the same time I know she’s happier now than she would’ve been if we stayed together."
– throway35885328
Having no communication is the worst part.
Silent Partner
"He slowly got distant. I believe he lost interest and didn't dare be honest with me about that."
– GaiaNatur77
The Late Blame Game
"I had that happen as well, but then he pinned it on me being distant and not affectionate enough."
"My guy, if you pull your hand away every time I try to hold it, I'm gonna stop trying to hold it. And if I ask if something's up and you repeatedly tell me everything is fine, I'm going to believe you. Don't wait till I'm at my worst moment and then reveal you had issues with me for 3 months and break up with me for it being 'my fault.'"
– Billielolly
"Everything Is Fine"
"Oh man, the asking repeatedly and getting a 'nothing' reminds me of a story."
"My friend used to ask her ex this every time he was unusually quiet. He’d always say he was fine, then at one point, told her to stop asking because it was making him feel weird."
"So she did."
"Six months later he initiated a divorce because she didn’t care about his feelings anymore."
"Like…don’t ask for sh*t then get pissy when you get what you want."
– TheRealJackReynolds
And then there are those who were not invested in the relationship for a long time.
The Struggle Is Real
"He seemed to struggle with the concept of not f'king random people."
– spanglesandbambi
Leaving The Problem
"He moved to his country because he missed his family. So he only sent a WhatsApp message saying he was going to stay there. I would have preferred a call at least to break up a marriage."
– kattia12
New Life
"Something similar happened to my cousin. He married her in the US, they had a baby together.. a few years go by, he misses home, goes back to visit.. His family had an arranged marriage ready for him 🤦🏻♀️ He ended up with a new wife and new baby. Hasn’t came back."
– MysticalMom7
A Foreign Custom
"It just seems so surreal that a grown a** adult with a wife and baby would leave his family behind for an arranged marriage. I'll never fathom the mentality."
– ro0ibos2
Ouch
"I wasn't having sex near as often as she was."
– YourWordsMatter
Breaking up is hard to do.
But a good thing to remember is that love can be found again and the new relationship can be even better than the previous one.
And that's something that can't be recognized until you look back in retrospect.
We all have to kiss a few toads.