Being gay or bi is a fabulous thing! Now, it can be a daunting and lonely experience, sure. After all, it is a a life altering revelation. Once you know, for sure, there is no going back. Often when one discovers about themselves it can come as a surprise. And you realize the signs were there all along, you just have to follow them.... all the way down the glittered road.
Redditor u/AgeOfZac wanted to hear from everyone about 'that moment' when they no longer could hide their true selves by asking.... Homosexuals/Bisexuals of reddit. What was your 'gay awakening' moment?
Close your Eyes....Giphy
I was 13 and discovered my body, i closed my eyes, enjoyed myself and i just started thinking about hot guys i knew. And thats when i knew i was gay. mynamejop
So Far Away....
Girls in my class used to always ask each other about their crushes. I used to feel left out cause I didn't like any of the boys everyone else liked. But there was this one pretty upperclassman who was in the same club as me. She used to smile at me in the hallways and give me candies during club meetings. Only realized that I had a big crush on her after she graduated and moved away. bakaoneechan
Well, it kinda dawned on me one day that some of the sexual desires I had been projecting onto women my whole life could actually be things I wanted to experience myself, and I never realized it. Bi-curiosity masquerading as typical sex drive and sexual frustration, hidden by naivete.
So it turns out, I'm bi. To be clear, I still like women, that's not changing. I have a girlfriend. But when I started experimenting with men, I learned that my attraction is deeper than I'd thought. Frankly speaking, to give an example, my thought process was something like, "Maybe the reason I'm so interested in pursuing the ever elusive anal sex with women is because I am the one who wants it."
I was right. Sad_Sheepherder
I think it's pretty common for bi people to figure their sh!t out late because the "normal" hot attraction is also there. I was just like yeah! Of course girls are hot! All girls think girls are hot, but it's not like, in a gay way, because obviously I like dudes too.
Reader, not all girls think girls are hot. I'm just dumb. geneofinterest
Bi... the way!Giphy
When I discovered porn, it didn't take me too long to start exploring less vanilla stuff. I didn't really think anything of it, I just thought of gay porn as no different than lesbian porn or anything else that was kinkier or more taboo than straight stuff.
This kept up through several straight relationships, until my senior year of college when I was at the tail end of a really crappy, long term, on again off again relationship. At one point I just said "screw it" and found a guy on Craigslist to hook up with. Since then I've had several fun hookups with guys and definitely consider myself bi. RoloJP
I was 17 when I came out as Bi but for 5 years or so I couldn't connect the pieces of why I had crushes on men and watched gay porn because "well, I'm attracted to women so I can't be gay? Because Gay guys aren't attracted to women? I don't know what's going on but it's not gay."
And the funny thing is, it's not like I didn't know the word Bisexual. I think there was just a part of me that wanted to believe that I was just a "normal" straight guy who had this quirky habit of thinking guys were also hot. That, as long as I kept that part of myself secret, I would be accepted as just another person and not treated differently (worse).
The irony is I was hurting myself more by holding onto that defensive view. CloverGreenbush
That Damn Booty....
I denied being attracted to girls for a pretty long time. I wasn't even raised in an environment that wasn't accepting of different sexualities (my grandpa was gay), but I was just so confused at the idea that I could be bi. It was a "that's ok for everyone else to do, but not me" situation. I genuinely thought there was something wrong with me. I kept saying to myself "this will change once have sex with a boy" but I have a very clear memory of staring at a girl's butt during a softball game while I was playing outfield.
I caught myself and at first I was mad because I was trying to "kick the habit" of looking at girls, but the more I thought about it I started to understand that there wasn't something wrong with me and it was just who I was. I denied it for a little bit longer until I watched porn for the first time (it was girl on girl) and I just kinda realized I couldn't say I would grow out of it anymore and after kissing girls I knew I wouldn't grow out of it. olive2619
Fell in love with a 6'5 bear at work. Also fell in love with a petit 5 foot tall Asian girl. I wanted them both but the guy had a girlfriend so I went for the girl.
Picture this: A boy in a toy store looking longingly at a big handsome teddy bear and a doll. He wants both but when he comes back the next day, the teddy bear was gone. So the boy settles for doll. absolutemonsterxx
Here I go Again. My. My. How can I resist ya?Giphy
Mine was more "gradual enlightenment" but I think my parents was when they took me to go see 'Mamma Mia' and I liked it a bit too much. AgeOfZac
The great thing about the 'Mamma Mia' movies is that they have something for everyone, whether you're a gay guy or a lesbian or anything else: shirtless guys dancing on the beach, MILF Christine Baranski, Amanda Seyfried, not to mention the musical numbers. It's a cinematic masterpiece. I've never met a gay person who doesn't love Mamma Mia. cliticalmiss
When I was little, my mum was taking me to school and I heard Fergie saying:
"All the time I turn around brothas gather round, always looking at me up and down, looking at my unhHHH."
At that precise moment, I knew I was gay. brunoalexkray