Racism is alive and prevalent. We know this for a fact. It may be 2019 but hatred lives and breeds. So many people of marginalized groups are being targeted. Racism is hatred and hatred is taught. And one's first experience with racism is never forgotten. It's a forever imprint.
Redditor u/Limosc wanted to hear from people out there about some rough times by asking.... When was the first time you had experienced racism?
The Monkey bars....
Was 8. Was playing on some monkey bars in a neighbor's backyard with their daughter. I'm Asian, she's white. My twin sister was also with us. We were having the time of our lives. My sis and I had been coming over for weeks after school, no permission needed.
Her mom came home early. She came to the backyard and started yelling. Grabbed her crying daughter, yelling she can't play with us anymore because she's already got so many nice WHITE friends. She brought her daughter inside, and came out again to yell at us to go home, that she never wants to see us on her property anymore and her daughter can't be friends with us, ever.
So we left, crying all the way home. Our mom was there and she asked what's wrong, did we fall off the monkey bars. We said no, told her the story. She hugged us and told us what racism is.
I'll never forget. LollipopDreamscape
Light & Dark.
I've experienced racism even amongst my own race. I'm a darker skinned Malay. Lighter skinned Malays are always acting all superior and crap because of it. Sheesh. ameersyafiq
Apparently this is common in some African countries, too. Darker skinned Africans are treated worse than lighter skinned ones, and if you go to an average African import store in the USA, there is always a shelf of skin-bleaching cream. spiderlanewales
2 Houses Divided!
When my mother ripped my hand out of the hand of the black boy I was playing with after school. You were the best at pretending to be Sonic, Thomas. Black_Bud
Tarbrush.
At my Grandmother's house in the 1960's. I was old enough to understand some of the nuances of speech. My Mother and Grandmother were discussing my black, curly hair, and in a sarcastic manner, my Grandmother said, "Perhaps he's got 'a touch of the tarbrush'..." It was part of an ongoing love-hate relationship between my Mother and Grandmother, and although I knew the comment to be meant as an insult, it was a while before I knew my Grandmother meant, 'Father unknown, and likely to be 'a black man.' This 'tarbrush' term was still common parlance in that part of the world when I left the area in the 1980's. Thank You for the interesting question. S. licktheetruff
Here Comes the.....
When I was a little kid my mum was accused of stealing me. I'm Asian and she's white; I'm adopted.
My dad, also white, feels uncomfortable in public with me because people think I'm a mail order bride. omgwtfbbqfml
No Confusion Here.
1985, small town in the north. A hmong man kidnapped a 7 year old girl and raped her, claiming she was now his bride.
When he was caught, his lawyer tried claiming it was because "he didn't understand our laws." So the judge responded "so this is okay in Laos?" Guy never made it to prison after that.
My grandpa said the town changed after that. Everyone was really suspicious of hmong men at that point. Local shops wouldn't serve them. There was a campaign to demand they get removed. It was a weird time for a 5 year old who had a few hmong friends. bramlugh
A Lost Chance.
In high school one of my friends said to me
"You know if you were a little bit fairer you'd have a chance with her"
I still am not comfortable with my skin color. definitely-not-jay
What are YOU?
The first I can remember was about age 5-6. We spent more time at that age with family and close friends so I first learned I was an outsider by other Asians. They spoke the language - I didn't and my mom was white so the other kids/cousins made sure to distinguish I wasn't REALLY one of them.
Around the same age I learned at school that I'd be the "token asian friend." The most common phrase kids and now adult professionals use is "What ARE you?" Well, I'm some kind of asian halvsey who looks Hispanic. People suck. IWearATallHat
So many Flags!
I'm a white/black mix, but my skin is pretty fair, so I don't experience much of the racism against black people. When I was in 7th grade though, I went to a mostly white school, and I was the only kid of color in my math class, and the only mixed kid in my grade I think. I was decent at math before I had this teacher, but I started doing horribly in her class as she would take off crazy amounts of points for little mistakes. I had to start going a mathematics learning center just to keep from failing the class.
At first I just thought she didn't like me as a person until I moved on to eight grade. I knew two sisters who were also mixed in the grade below who were now in her math class, and they experienced the same problems with her. We found out that no one else had a problem with this teacher being crazy harsh, only us mixed kids. It was pretty indirect, but it raised some flags. Troker101
The Ignorant.
I was 8 years old. I was at school in London and some of the 'cool' kids came up to me and started saying that I was a terrorist. I didn't know what that meant and I doubt they did either.
I still remember the look on my mum's face when I went home and asked her. She just looked so sad.
Once she'd explained to me what terrorism was and why the kids were saying it, I started noticing it everywhere. Ignorance is bliss.
No Safe Zone.
I was walking and holding hands with a girl after a date. She was "colored," which is s different thing than "black" in South Africa. Near the train station in Capetown, a large group of Black men objected threateningly to my stupidity in thinking that "just because Mandela got elected I get to walk around holding hands with a colored girl." Things moved towards violence, and another group of men, colored men, arrived and stepped in on that point - taking my side, I think, just to motivate conflict with the other group.
My date and I just ran. iamkuato
The Outsiders.
I mean, elementary school? Other kids making fun of my middle name which is Chinese, or doing that thing where they pull they're eyes to be narrower and then speaking in broken English.
Idk, kids are dumb, where does it go from cultural insensitivity to racism? Not a clue, but did it make me feel like an outsider? Yup. HaphazardlyOrganized
Follow Along.
Biracial person here (white and black) I got followed in a store when I was a teenager. I had been called a list of racial slurs before then but being followed stands out the most. SithLordMoshi
Waiting.
Growing up, my parents were civil rights testers (people hired/volunteer to investigate specific claims of racial discrimination in businesses). I remember being with my mom at a restaurant and being made to "wait for a table" (or being denied service) while my dad (the "white" man for the test) would be seated immediately. HMSArcturus
There is always one in every group....
I was a in Vegas with a black dude one time, and there were lots of Asian tourists. Every time he saw a group of them he would go "Ching chong" and stuff like that. Just to the rest of us, not loudly enough to be heard by anyone else, but still. Also with us was a half-Mexican girl- she lived in a predominantly Hispanic part of town in LA, and when we would drive around by her house she'd complain about other drivers saying things like... "These wetbacks aren't used to paved roads." IDK what my point is... just that PoC can be just a racist as white people, I guess? emthejedichic
By a Hair....
My family and I lived in Saudi Arabia for 16 years. When I was 4, a bunch of Arab women pulled me and my sister's (she was 7 at that time) hair and laughed about it. Being an innocent preschooler at that time, I was physically hurt but didn't understand why they did that to me and my sister. My mom just told us they fancied our hair. So I just teared up a little from the pain and moved on.
Fast forward to our when I was around 9? 10? Years old. The same shit happened to me while I was shopping for school supplies at a store near my school. That time, I was pretty sure it wasn't because they liked my curly hair because I saw a condescending smirk as I looked at the grown woman who pulled my hair.
We barely go back home so I've always thought that KSA was my home. I realized that it really wasn't and will never be completely accepted the way asians are in other parts of the world. bIackIines
"Certain Types."
Well, I've experienced instances of subtle racism before, but I would say that I experienced outright racism only really when I moved. When I got my first job here (customer service), some typical old man, probably from the colonial era, refused my service and loudly talked to my coworker about "certain nationalities" and their thieving nature.
Then at my second job in a nightclub, which I still work at actually, I get occasional comments like my skin being the color of stuff from drunk, aggressive people.
I hate it so much. I go through more subtle types of racism too, mostly in which people assume negative things about me based on my nationality, and I would say it bothers me more than the above. I come from a country which isn't really well liked and kind of misrepresented, on reddit and by western countries in general. It's given me a bit of a complex where I'm conscious to shed the stereotypes people tend to assume about me. I can't really explain it better than that. dvorak_1
Inside Voice.
When I was around 4, I was watching Sesame Street. There was a black man on the screen, and I tried to ask "why do some people have different skin colors?" But since I wasn't good at expressing my thoughts, I said "why does there have to be black people?" I didn't understand why my mom was so angry, but that's when I was taught that racism is a thing, and it's bad. this_is_balls
Playtime.
I remember in primary school, a 6 year old telling someone of the same age, of African descent "you can't play with us because you're black." Couple of years later, the kid drowned in a canal. ace0fskulls
Be Nice.
My mom still talks about this one, it was when I was 4, my little brother was 2, my older brother was 5 1/2, and my sister was 7. My mom would walk us to a church program when we were young (we weren't Christian, we're Muslim) and on our way there some men in a truck yelled at my mom saying, "Go back to your country ya dirty immigrant!" Apparently I yelled back, "Hey that's not very nice, have a good day mister," because my mom always taught us to be kind even if someone is mean. My mom still brings it up asking me why I'm not that nice anymore? Now I just gotta say mom I'm not as optimistic as I used to be. Municorn1977
Sometimes you only need to experience something once, to know it's a never again situation.
I always say, try everything once.
Well, now that I'm older, a caveat to that is... try it all within reason.
How many things have we all walked away from saying the one time experience will suffice?
In fact, knowing when to say no is one of life's wisest choices.
Redditor Croakied wanted to discuss the times we've all said... "once was enough!" They asked:
"What is one thing that you will NEVER do again?"
Love. Did it. A few times. Moving on.
Stay Still
"Jump off a moving train."
DenseDriver6477
"My dad used to jump on a train when he was little to go to school. He broke his nose like twice doing it. He also would not recommend."
Darphon
“vaportini”
"Smoke alcohol. Me and my friends bought something called a 'vaportini' in college where you could pour alcohol into a bulb and after low heat separated the alcohol from the liquid, you could inhale it thru the glass straw you inserted into the bulb. Basically you got drunk directly into your bloodstream/brain and it never hit your stomach."
"If you did too much, your body wouldn’t make you vomit or something, there wouldn’t be a simple self regulation/safety measure. You’d just get alcohol poisoning. Felt very dangerous, the drunk wasn’t a regular drunk feeling. We used it once and were like okay, never again. I’d be surprised if you could still buy it, although it would be incredibly easy to replicate at home."
michelangelho
It’s heartbreaking...
"Fall in love with a drug addict."
Rains_Lee
"Good call, don’t do it. The drugs will always come first. Can’t go out unless their 'ok' with how much drugs they have and money left over if any, cant make love unless they have their fix for the night and even still it never feels normal, can’t trust them after the lies to get drugs and the manipulation they put you through, and you can’t change them no matter how much you try and wish they would. It’s heartbreaking."
Cvilla411
More me time...
"Give up my life for work. F**k going the extra mile for a place that doesn't value you and pays you crap even though you go the extra mile for them. You have 1 life with only so much precious time to enjoy it and slaving away at some job is not worth it. Do what you can to reduce your workload and find better employment, or hell try to change the working conditions at your current job to improve things for everyone if you can."
Mrhappytrigers
Well Obvi...
"Donate a kidney."
ToffieMonster
"Well, you could donate the remaining one. You just won’t be around to say anything about it."
shavemejesus
This is definitely list I can relate to. No thank you on a lot of this!
I Quit
"Smoke cigarettes, it's been two years since I quit."
SuvenPan
Forget It
"Climb mount Kilimanjaro. Toughest thing I've done and it's not worth it. I'm all about tough treks and camping but to put yourself under tough conditions and suspectable to altitude sickness only to get to the top for 10 minutes for a picture. No thank you."
Monks_
"I agree, it was memorable. Once was enough for my husband and I. Thankfully we stayed at American style hotel run by the US Navy with a hot tub and bar. Alcohol was definitely needed after all that."
Whatsherface112
I'm living alone!
"Sign a lease with a stranger without hanging out with them a few times beforehand. My past roommate experiences in college were terrible. Roommates either ignored me, hosted parties til 3 AM on weeknights, made the house the hangout and drug-den for them and their buddies. Meet up once and they'll put on an act for you. If you can, try to see how they act drunk or frustrated."
"Try to hang out with their buddies too so you can see the type of people who could be coming into your future place of residence. As soon as I can afford it, I'm living alone! Now, I investigate a potential roommate's social media and hang out at least twice before signing a lease with them."
fleursdefer
Stay Away
"Take back a cheater. Know your worth my brothers and sisters."
santichrist
"Ughhhhh going back and forth on this one. My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me. Several times, actually but says he’s really changed and is ready to settle down and wants me to move in with him. I’m on the fence. So they never change???"
madlecroy
Sleeptime
"Take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time."
karmaredemption
Once, twice, three times... I'm out. Bye.
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People Imagine How They'd React If Their Significant Other Wanted To Sleep With Other People
There is an age old question that has been getting more traction surrounding sex for partners the last decade or so.
And that is... "is just one enough?"
Were we really meant to only be with one person forever?
There are so many flavors to taste.
What if your partner wants more cookie dough with your strawberry?
Redditor Pineapple-Status wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on opening the bedroom to others. They asked:
"What would you do if your long term SO suddenly wants to have sex with other people?"
I say I'd be ok with it, but I'm remembering my last relationship and I feel like I'm not a "put my $ where my mouth is type" on this issue.
Bye
"Wish her well and spend the next 2 years getting myself back to a place where I am ready to get hurt again."
wickedblight
It's Time to Roll On...
"Personally I would leave them."
"I think they're the ones leaving you. I don't think the relationship changes at that point; I think it ends. If you have a monogamous relationship, they are telling you they want to end that. They might be suggesting starting a new, non-monogamous relationship, but that is a separate thing. The original relationship is over."
octopoddle
ethical non-monogamy...
"OP, it's no different than anything else they want: you either agree and stay together, disagree but stay together, disagree and break up, or even agree and break up. What you're talking about is called 'ethical non-monogamy.'" The seminal book to read is called The Ethical Sl*t."
"It basically boils down to be whatever you want, just don't lie about it. The tricky thing is that this is something that was not present before, but is present now. So it's a potential fork in your road. If you're against it, it's up to your SO to decide if sex with other people is more important to them than a life with you."
Tokugawa
a different story...
"I think it depends too how intently they're interested. If it's a thing they bring up because they're curious but it's not a dealbreaker for them, I'm fine with that even if I don't want to proceed. A solid relationship involves open communication, and it'd make me happy if my partner trusted us and our bond enough to voice that curiosity with me."
"If it's something their heart's absolutely set on, then it's a different story. Either way, it's kind of strange to me how these posts always assume simply asking your partner how they feel about opening the relationship means they're now wholey invested in the poly lifestyle and they'll resent you or cheat if you say no."
donkeynique
Others
"Happy that we have common interest, sad that it's different 'other people."
i_lick_icicles
Sex is always an issue. Remember when it was just fun?
Mine
"Leave her. I’m far too possessive and jealous to be able to mentally accept polyamory. If she has a desire to be with other people I’m not going to stand in her way but I’m not going to be there when she gets home either."
Thiek
Not Me...
"Break up. My parents were poly and it's just not for me. I've been honest with every relationship I've been in that I'm not interested in any type of open relationship. If they want to be with someone else that's fine but we'll be over. My husband is aware of this and on board (and has been for over twenty years!). So if he came to me with this yes I would be heartbroken but I'm not willing to budge on this and it would be the end of our relationship."
GoldDustWitchQueen
Let's Talk
"Counseling time! We're married. I'm chronically ill (stage 4 breast cancer) and have no libido. We try to make intimacy work, and obviously in that case it wouldn't be working. So. Time for a pro to sort out the marriage, and possibly a sex therapist for me."
insertcaffeine
Awkward Positions
"I’ll put myself hypothetically in this position. My partner and I only want each other. We’ve made this abundantly clear to each other. However, if she came to me with desire to open our bedroom and she wanted to sleep with people outside our marriage."
"I would simply express how I vehemently do not an open bedroom and that it would kill any desire I have to want her, be with her, love her, etc. Our couple dynamic has been working well through our ups and downs. Involving some stranger in the ONE thing I find most sacred with my partner is the best way for me to lose any interest or passion for the relationship."
RedFlaim
Farewell
"Break it off, because they definitely already have someone in mind and you telling them no won't change the fact that they were only one step away from following through with it."
Caressticles
Well it feels like a lot of people still believe in one partner, happily ever after. Good for y'all. But big props to these couples who have open and honest conversations about their wants and needs.
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Many of us sometimes fantasize about what we would do to our worst enemies, especially in the moments when they're actively making our lives worse.
While most of us would never actually do any of the things that we contemplate instead of screaming at that super annoying person at the office, we do get pretty creative with the ideas.
Redditor take_me_there_ asked:
"What WOULD you wish on your worst enemy?"
This One Would Hurt
"A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done."
- Jenny010137
"Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of sh*tty people."
- el_muerte17
"Oh I wish I had thought of this one. If my enemy had a conscience, wow life would be much different."
- Shelbysouth43
No Pearly Whites For You
"I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do."
- toothfixingfiend
"What did I ever do to you?"
- Spideredd
"I don't even know you! Give me back my enamel!"
- AngryMustache9
Everything You Own Is Orange Now
"Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything."
- cocoapuff1721
"This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious."
-Merk0411
"The Midas Touch: Snack Edition"
- MaryVenetia
Ouch, But Forever
"Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth."
- No-Bee-2971
"Sisyphoot"
- Alpha_6
"More of a Toemetheus imo"
- PykeTheDrowned
Self Reflection
"For them to realize how big of an a-hole they are."
- mayhemanaged
"Same for me. The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous a-hole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one."
- RhoadsOfRock
"a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them."
- chancetodream
Bury Them Under A Mountain Of Minor Inconveniences
"Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled."
"Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day."
- I_Love_Small_Br**sts
"Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature."
"Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen."
"Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.."
- HappiHappiHappi
They'll Never Be Able To Use Their Computer Again
"Quick scan with McAfee on their computer."
- halflife_3
"You f**king monster."
- Orion_2kTC
"The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far."
- _Land_Rover_Series_3
That's A New Level Of Evil
"Bed bugs."
- thrawn1825
"Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point."
"I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10."
- ArbitrarilyStagnant
"Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building."
- expect_less
Well of course I know him. He’s me.
"$100,000. I sure could use it."
- Sparklesperson
"'It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy'"
- FishyVonFishenHymer
"Lol I thought this was that deep sh*t like 'pray for those you resent to have all the things you want in life….' Then I realized."
- No-Chipmunk9527
Forever Constipated
"That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes."
- [User Deleted]
"Wow. That's evil. Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too."
- ipakookapi
We definitely don't recommend implementing any of these plans (not that most would actually be possible), but here's some new ideas for the next time you're stuck in a meeting with your most annoying coworker and need a little fantastical escape.
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I grew up poor, and I remember the little things that made me smile when we just happened to have enough that week.
The little things that a truly rich person would not think twice about.
Ah, the luxury of it.
What spells luxury for you?
Redditor ConAir161057 wanted to compare notes about the things in life that feel like items only money can buy. They asked:
"For people who grew up with little money, what always felt like a luxury?"
New clothes. I had so many hand me downs and thrift store clothes... new seemed like a dream.
Anxiety
"After growing up in a home where every unexpected problem was a financial emergency, my idea of wealthy became 'I just want enough money that if something breaks I don't get anxiety about how to deal with it.'"
Obiwan_ca_bl**me
Literature
"Getting to buy something from the scholastic book fair."
Rich*itch3232
"My school, at the end of it a bunch of books were 'donated' and then spread out on a table in the library. We all got to go pick one book. So even if kids didn’t get to purchase a book, in the end they had a chance to still get a book. It’s actually how I got my first Harry Potter book. Was a cool idea for any school staff or parents active in their kids’ schools."
glass_pillow
Christmas
"Getting new clothes at Christmas from relatives. I don't know if that is exactly a luxury or the kind of answer you are looking for, but we never had a lot of money when I was in middle school. I went an entire year wearing the same pants everyday. The funny thing was my parents didn't even buy them for me."
"I got them for Christmas from my Grandparents. All the kids use to give me so much sh*t for wearing the same pants everyday. I always told them that I had 5 of the same pair which made me feel good inside and kind of made them ease off even though I know they didn't believe me."
"I remember I fell on the school bus one day and the jagged floor cut a hole right in the knee cap and the panic that went over me was just insane. It was one of the worst feelings of my whole life because I knew that I didn't have any other pants to wear and that now all of the kids in my school were going to know that I only had 1 pair. Needless to say I could not wait for the last month of school to end."
themagicman_1231
I'm Away
"Summer camp, or basically any school trips that had to be paid for. At my school the kids who couldn't afford to go on trips that happened during school hours still had to come to the school, we just sat in a room and did extra work like it was detention."
Helpful_Yams
"I was lucky. If you taught at the day camp your kid could go for free. That was just day camp though not sleepaway camp. My mom found a camp teacher who had no kids of his own and he signed me up as his kid so I could get free day camp. Did that all through elementary school."
randtcouple
Big Deals
"Going out for pizza was a big deal. Those free mini pizzas for reading books were huge."
Shroom4Yoshi
Food is always an issue when you're broke.
Damage
"Being able to turn on the heat in the cold and pay a professional to fix damaged appliances, plumbing, and other issues."
Liggettef
Spoiled
"When my grandma would come pick me up and spoil me. My parents didn't have much money and were addicts so when my grandma would come get me I would come back with new clothes, video games, toys, etc. I used to think my grandma was rich but she actually just had a stable income."
nawlepen
"I was in this position when I was younger. I always thought my grandma had SO much money… but all she did was go to work everyday. Always made sure I had clothes and all my school supplies. I miss her pretty bad."
Keywork29
Water
"I am from a small island in the Pacific. While I mostly still take cold showers, I have always felt that a hot shower is the finest luxury one can experience. I had my first hot shower when I was 22 years old and I can never forget it."
FSMPIO
"This is the kind of luxury I think people take for granted, I always avoided showers in the winter as a kid since most of the time they where cold showers and the temperature here was around 12c° during those times."
PowerfullDio
Showerware
"Towels. Honestly, I was almost 10 When I realized people didn’t just put back on their dirty clothes after a shower because my family was so large (12 kids total including myself) and extremely poor. I thought towels were just for hotels or were maybe a prop on television. I went to a friends house and she asked for my help folding her towels. I remember laughing and thinking she must be rich."
"Long story short, I wasn’t sure which way to fold the towels, and begged my mom to buy them after I revealed that my friend, Simone, had them. She bought a box of used ones from a local auction and I walked around with them on my head feeling like a frigging empress after that, even though—-let’s be clear… these were second hand towels!"
shakezula1025
Or BK...
"Grew up poor and when I was a kid I used to think you were rich if you had a dishwasher and a millionaire if you had one of those refrigerators that have a button for ice. McDonalds was also a luxury, a couple times a year on our birthdays."
chinderellab*tch
Everyone should have access to all of these things. Why is life unfair?
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