Racism is alive and prevalent. We know this for a fact. It may be 2019 but hatred lives and breeds. So many people of marginalized groups are being targeted. Racism is hatred and hatred is taught. And one's first experience with racism is never forgotten. It's a forever imprint.
Redditor u/Limosc wanted to hear from people out there about some rough times by asking.... When was the first time you had experienced racism?
The Monkey bars....
Was 8. Was playing on some monkey bars in a neighbor's backyard with their daughter. I'm Asian, she's white. My twin sister was also with us. We were having the time of our lives. My sis and I had been coming over for weeks after school, no permission needed.
Her mom came home early. She came to the backyard and started yelling. Grabbed her crying daughter, yelling she can't play with us anymore because she's already got so many nice WHITE friends. She brought her daughter inside, and came out again to yell at us to go home, that she never wants to see us on her property anymore and her daughter can't be friends with us, ever.
So we left, crying all the way home. Our mom was there and she asked what's wrong, did we fall off the monkey bars. We said no, told her the story. She hugged us and told us what racism is.
I'll never forget. LollipopDreamscape
Light & Dark.
I've experienced racism even amongst my own race. I'm a darker skinned Malay. Lighter skinned Malays are always acting all superior and crap because of it. Sheesh. ameersyafiq
Apparently this is common in some African countries, too. Darker skinned Africans are treated worse than lighter skinned ones, and if you go to an average African import store in the USA, there is always a shelf of skin-bleaching cream. spiderlanewales
2 Houses Divided!
Giphy
When my mother ripped my hand out of the hand of the black boy I was playing with after school. You were the best at pretending to be Sonic, Thomas. Black_Bud
Tarbrush.
At my Grandmother's house in the 1960's. I was old enough to understand some of the nuances of speech. My Mother and Grandmother were discussing my black, curly hair, and in a sarcastic manner, my Grandmother said, "Perhaps he's got 'a touch of the tarbrush'..." It was part of an ongoing love-hate relationship between my Mother and Grandmother, and although I knew the comment to be meant as an insult, it was a while before I knew my Grandmother meant, 'Father unknown, and likely to be 'a black man.' This 'tarbrush' term was still common parlance in that part of the world when I left the area in the 1980's. Thank You for the interesting question. S. licktheetruff
Here Comes the.....
GiphyWhen I was a little kid my mum was accused of stealing me. I'm Asian and she's white; I'm adopted.
My dad, also white, feels uncomfortable in public with me because people think I'm a mail order bride. omgwtfbbqfml
No Confusion Here.
1985, small town in the north. A hmong man kidnapped a 7 year old girl and raped her, claiming she was now his bride.
When he was caught, his lawyer tried claiming it was because "he didn't understand our laws." So the judge responded "so this is okay in Laos?" Guy never made it to prison after that.
My grandpa said the town changed after that. Everyone was really suspicious of hmong men at that point. Local shops wouldn't serve them. There was a campaign to demand they get removed. It was a weird time for a 5 year old who had a few hmong friends. bramlugh
A Lost Chance.
In high school one of my friends said to me
"You know if you were a little bit fairer you'd have a chance with her"
I still am not comfortable with my skin color. definitely-not-jay
What are YOU?
The first I can remember was about age 5-6. We spent more time at that age with family and close friends so I first learned I was an outsider by other Asians. They spoke the language - I didn't and my mom was white so the other kids/cousins made sure to distinguish I wasn't REALLY one of them.
Around the same age I learned at school that I'd be the "token asian friend." The most common phrase kids and now adult professionals use is "What ARE you?" Well, I'm some kind of asian halvsey who looks Hispanic. People suck. IWearATallHat
So many Flags!
I'm a white/black mix, but my skin is pretty fair, so I don't experience much of the racism against black people. When I was in 7th grade though, I went to a mostly white school, and I was the only kid of color in my math class, and the only mixed kid in my grade I think. I was decent at math before I had this teacher, but I started doing horribly in her class as she would take off crazy amounts of points for little mistakes. I had to start going a mathematics learning center just to keep from failing the class.
At first I just thought she didn't like me as a person until I moved on to eight grade. I knew two sisters who were also mixed in the grade below who were now in her math class, and they experienced the same problems with her. We found out that no one else had a problem with this teacher being crazy harsh, only us mixed kids. It was pretty indirect, but it raised some flags. Troker101
The Ignorant.
GiphyI was 8 years old. I was at school in London and some of the 'cool' kids came up to me and started saying that I was a terrorist. I didn't know what that meant and I doubt they did either.
I still remember the look on my mum's face when I went home and asked her. She just looked so sad.
Once she'd explained to me what terrorism was and why the kids were saying it, I started noticing it everywhere. Ignorance is bliss.
No Safe Zone.
I was walking and holding hands with a girl after a date. She was "colored," which is s different thing than "black" in South Africa. Near the train station in Capetown, a large group of Black men objected threateningly to my stupidity in thinking that "just because Mandela got elected I get to walk around holding hands with a colored girl." Things moved towards violence, and another group of men, colored men, arrived and stepped in on that point - taking my side, I think, just to motivate conflict with the other group.
My date and I just ran. iamkuato
The Outsiders.
I mean, elementary school? Other kids making fun of my middle name which is Chinese, or doing that thing where they pull they're eyes to be narrower and then speaking in broken English.
Idk, kids are dumb, where does it go from cultural insensitivity to racism? Not a clue, but did it make me feel like an outsider? Yup. HaphazardlyOrganized
Follow Along.
GiphyBiracial person here (white and black) I got followed in a store when I was a teenager. I had been called a list of racial slurs before then but being followed stands out the most. SithLordMoshi
Waiting.
Growing up, my parents were civil rights testers (people hired/volunteer to investigate specific claims of racial discrimination in businesses). I remember being with my mom at a restaurant and being made to "wait for a table" (or being denied service) while my dad (the "white" man for the test) would be seated immediately. HMSArcturus
There is always one in every group....
I was a in Vegas with a black dude one time, and there were lots of Asian tourists. Every time he saw a group of them he would go "Ching chong" and stuff like that. Just to the rest of us, not loudly enough to be heard by anyone else, but still. Also with us was a half-Mexican girl- she lived in a predominantly Hispanic part of town in LA, and when we would drive around by her house she'd complain about other drivers saying things like... "These wetbacks aren't used to paved roads." IDK what my point is... just that PoC can be just a racist as white people, I guess? emthejedichic
By a Hair....
My family and I lived in Saudi Arabia for 16 years. When I was 4, a bunch of Arab women pulled me and my sister's (she was 7 at that time) hair and laughed about it. Being an innocent preschooler at that time, I was physically hurt but didn't understand why they did that to me and my sister. My mom just told us they fancied our hair. So I just teared up a little from the pain and moved on.
Fast forward to our when I was around 9? 10? Years old. The same shit happened to me while I was shopping for school supplies at a store near my school. That time, I was pretty sure it wasn't because they liked my curly hair because I saw a condescending smirk as I looked at the grown woman who pulled my hair.
We barely go back home so I've always thought that KSA was my home. I realized that it really wasn't and will never be completely accepted the way asians are in other parts of the world. bIackIines
"Certain Types."
Well, I've experienced instances of subtle racism before, but I would say that I experienced outright racism only really when I moved. When I got my first job here (customer service), some typical old man, probably from the colonial era, refused my service and loudly talked to my coworker about "certain nationalities" and their thieving nature.
Then at my second job in a nightclub, which I still work at actually, I get occasional comments like my skin being the color of stuff from drunk, aggressive people.
I hate it so much. I go through more subtle types of racism too, mostly in which people assume negative things about me based on my nationality, and I would say it bothers me more than the above. I come from a country which isn't really well liked and kind of misrepresented, on reddit and by western countries in general. It's given me a bit of a complex where I'm conscious to shed the stereotypes people tend to assume about me. I can't really explain it better than that. dvorak_1
Inside Voice.
When I was around 4, I was watching Sesame Street. There was a black man on the screen, and I tried to ask "why do some people have different skin colors?" But since I wasn't good at expressing my thoughts, I said "why does there have to be black people?" I didn't understand why my mom was so angry, but that's when I was taught that racism is a thing, and it's bad. this_is_balls
Playtime.
GiphyI remember in primary school, a 6 year old telling someone of the same age, of African descent "you can't play with us because you're black." Couple of years later, the kid drowned in a canal. ace0fskulls
Be Nice.
My mom still talks about this one, it was when I was 4, my little brother was 2, my older brother was 5 1/2, and my sister was 7. My mom would walk us to a church program when we were young (we weren't Christian, we're Muslim) and on our way there some men in a truck yelled at my mom saying, "Go back to your country ya dirty immigrant!" Apparently I yelled back, "Hey that's not very nice, have a good day mister," because my mom always taught us to be kind even if someone is mean. My mom still brings it up asking me why I'm not that nice anymore? Now I just gotta say mom I'm not as optimistic as I used to be. Municorn1977
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.