Finding yourself in the wilderness, lost and alone, is nothing to take lightly. When the chips are down and every minute counts, you need your wits about you and the right bit of technique to make it through. Fortunately, you remember all the random bits you've read online to see it through alive. But WAIT! It's probably wrong. Seriously. Don't do it.
Reddit user, u/ConvenientSpoon, wanted to know what's the most messed up myth when they asked:
What is a survival myth that is completely wrong and could get you killed?
Knew That Anna Paquin Was Full Of It
"Follow flying birds to find water" They can simply be flying to spend a night anywhere, so we can't rely on them
Snakes...Why'd It Have To Be Snakes...
Giphy
If you ever find yourself in snake country, make as much noise as possible. Most people want to avoid snakes so stay quiet, but they are more scared of you than you are of them. Talk loudly, stomp, but obviously keep an eye and ear out for any fellas who don't want you to be there.
Source: Australian
Alright, Listen People, It's POISON. Seriously.
Sucking a snakebite, it will often make it worse
Alright, Listen People, It's A BULLET. Seriously.
Removing a bullet is more dangerous than leaving it in. Trying to remove it can tear vital organs, it can be pushed in even deeper, or removing it can cause the person to bleed out.
Get That Shelter Up
The first mistake is to look for food and water first before having a shelter up to keep yourself dry and warm!
Edit: When I say shelter first it includes having a fire too which I forgot to mention. When you are wet and exposed to the elements your core body temperature can drop and you can get hypothermia if it gets too cold and you would burn more calories than necessary. A big reason to building a shelter too is to also keep yourself off the ground because the ground is an infinite heat sink which means you lose your body heat way faster than you would think and will be more exposed to the cold/elements.
Guys yes it's good to be near a water source, but remember that it's always colder around rivers,streams, lakes, and oceans. Make sure you are able to easily gather shelter/fire material within the area. Plus finding a prime location to set up shelter.
"Snow Dad Is Better Than No Dad"
Don't eat snow to stay hydrated if you're in a winter survival situation, losing the heat to the snow while eating it is more dangerous than dehydration.
Heat it up or let it melt in a container first to lose less heat.
If you have fire and a pot, put ice in it, not snow. It is cleaner and more dense than snow, i.e. you get more water out of it.
Edit: Not sure about the cleanliness of ice vs. fresh snow. But we are still talking about boiling that water. And my main argument, that you get more volume of water from ice than from snow still stands.
Don't Brace Yourselves!
Closest I can think of is brace yourself if you are about to get in a accident.
Try to go limp, you're more likely to walk away with minor injuries if you go limp. That's how drunk drivers survive crashes.
GET DOWN!
Jumping in an elevator if it falls. You want to drop to the floor if an elevator falls, because if you jump, hitting the ground could either break (or shatter) your legs or kill you on impact.
YOU Are The Alpha
Do not lie dead in an animal attack. They'll eat you anyways. Instead, assert your dominance by spreading your arms and making yourself look big and scary, as if you were trying to intimidate a high-school bully.
Correct me if this is wrong, I don't want blood on my hands.
You're Not Rambo
Don't pour alcohol on open wounds.
It damages the f-ck out of the cells and hurts like a motherfucker. It can cause permanent damage. Water is way better for cleaning any wound.
Seek Protection In The Group
In Germany there is a saying that goes „Eichen sollst du meiden, Buchen sollst du suchen"
Which roughly translates that in case of a thunderstorm you shouldn't stand under oaks, but u should seek shelter under a beech.
Just don't go anywhere near a tree in a thunderstorm...
That one kind of makes sense. Dont stand under a lone tree during a storm but if there is a wooded area nearby that's much safer than an open area. Beech trees grow in the shade so usually around other trees.
Take Your Time
Don't always drink the first water you see
I was on a school residential trip near a lake and we kanooded across the lake and when we stopped for a break our instructor told us that the lake has lots of metals in and wasn't advised to drink from it without a filter
Leave It In
Never pull out anything stuck in your body (sticks from a fall, arrow, a knife) like they do in the movies. The foreign object is forming a seal inside the wound, keeping whats supposed to be inside, inside.
Wrap around the object with gauze/cloth to stabilize the object so it doesn't scramble your insides when it moves around. If you need to travel, you could clip the ends of the object if its like a sharp branch so it doesn't bump against anything.
Water Always Wins
Water - rivers, oceans, large streams, floods, pools, hot tubs...even buckets with water in them for young children.
Don't ever think you can overpower some of these and just "swim across". Water gives no f-cks and is very very heavy...it moves fast and will kill you.
Learn to swim and teach your kids to respect water.
Poor Pa Kent...
Hiding under an overpass during a tornado.
It's been pretty widespread news that it's more deadly to do this, but come to the south during a tornado warning & watch how many people still do it & jam the interstate putting more people in danger. If you're on the road with no real shelter in sight, you should park & lie flat in a low ditch. Only stay in your car if it's a must & don't hide under an overpass.
Winds can throw things in at you or just plain suck you out & kill/hurt you worse than doing what's suggested.
Ugh, Florida...
the myth that if you move from left to right in a zig zag with help you when running from an aligator.
that is COMPLETELY wrong and the croc would run down the middle
If You Didn't Know, Now You Know
Using your phone battery to start a fire.
Chances are if you don't know how to make a fire and are in such an extreme situation that you have to resort to murdering your phone battery, you'll die sooner or later; it won't help if you don't have a phone.
May I also point out you could die from those lithium fumes? 😂
Crack The Ribs To Save Lives
Giphy
Rescue breaths are wildly overrated in most movies and TV shows. You'll see someone in cardiac arrest, and the rescuer will stop giving compressions and focus on breathing into a persons's mouth and BLAMO! Awake, alert, alive!
Nope. Don't do that.
Your body does store a fairly decent amount of oxygen in its blood at all times. If someone in front of you OD's and their mouth is covered with saliva/vomit or someone collapses in front of you of a suspected cardiac arrest your plan of action is 2 fold:
- Are they breathing do they have a pulse? This is easy to f-ck up especially in a moment of panic. My rule (as an EMS provider) is that if you don't feel it in 10 seconds, it's not there. Start compressions! If they are not in cardiac arrest they will let your ass know - and the law covers you under good-Samaritan clauses in most of these cases.
- If you are the only person attending to this body - do not stop and give rescue breaths if help is on the way and will be there soon. It takes about 4-7 decent compressions to get blood recirculating in the body after stopping to give mouth-to-mouth. That's a lot of blood, carrying a lot of vital oxygen reserves, that aren't making it to the brain. Obviously if you're a long way out from help, and you feel safe to do so, give rescue breaths. But it should NEVER be priority #1.
BTW if you hear ribs crack, make a face, make vomit noises if you have to, tell the person their bones are f-cking grossing you out, but don't stop compressions.
Because what are compressions? That's right. They are number f-cking one.
A Different Kind Of Survival
You do not need to wait 24hrs to report a missing person. If you think someone is missing report it as such. The faster a missing person report is filed the greater the chance the person will be found
Especially if it's a child. Missing children are at high risk during the first 24 hours especially if abducted.
In 76% of child abduction murders, the victim was dead within 3 hours. 88.5% were dead in the first 24 hours.
Edit: Source
Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
MisterSnowman69 asked: What was a moment in your life that felt like a horror movie scene?
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.
the simpsons react GIFGiphyMy friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
It was probably a red fox that was screaming.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
And now I have plans this weekend... Just need to find a couple of cardboard cutouts and to break into the local abandoned asylum.
Don’t you hate when that happens?
Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyI was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.
car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.GiphyI am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...
Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphyItalian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Asian moms too! Not only that if you try to not eat, they make to go containers for you. Oh, sorry I have to leave, RUNS AT LEAST HAVE SOME FRUIT.
Phonies...
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
Sexy Times...
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
I think the first amendment helps with that one. There's been many a supreme-court case about whether porn is protected speech.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDS
GIF by MOODMANGiphyPeople screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
Fashion
Fashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphyIf a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
Distractions
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My Morality
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
Placing Blame
Victim mentality.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.
Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016GiphyPoliticians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
At this points most people running for a position in the government are only in it for the benefits of being a politician and the amount of money they can embezzle. Well in my country at least.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.