People Reveal What Landed Them In The Emergency Room
No one wants to go to the E.R. - but most of us do at some point. I made more trips than I can count due to my colitis and subsequent surgeries. But others go for all types of reasons, like accidentally stabbing yourself while carving a pumpkin. Or being hit by a red-light-runner. Or dealing with the challenges of pregnancy.
vortish asked: What put you in the E.R.?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
15. At least you were wearing a helmet...
Motorcycle accident. My stupid ass didn't wear any protective gear except for a helmet. Scraped my kness and severely bruised an ankle. Never rode without gear after that.
And also a fracture in the very same foot like 7 years prior.
Motorcycles = not a question of IF you'll fall, it's a question of WHEN you'll fall.
Partly true. You can drive cautiously and not crash on your own, but when it comes to other people on the road; you'll most likely have close calls/crash sometime!
14. Guys - respect the term.
I fainted while pooping, while naked, while pregnant, while my toddler was in the bathtub. Not my most glamorous moment.
Ah, pregnancy. We're supposed to be beautifully glowing and serene, and... HAHAHANO.
When I was 37 weeks with my youngest, if it makes you feel any better, I laid down to go to bed one night and freaked out when my water broke all over everything. I called my doc, we got in the car, and headed to the hospital...
...Where they told me I'd actually peed. I wanted to bury myself somewhere.
13. Someoneclumsy is afoot.
Stepped on a piece of glass. They had to remove it and got stitches on the bottom of my foot.
Was running a 105 fever one night.
I was running through a wooded area and tripped over an axe, which got stuck in my shin bone. Got stitches.
Fell off my grandmother's exercise bike and ripped my inner thigh on the screw that was sticking out of the base. Several stitches and I have a nasty scar there.
Drowning accident. Arrived by ambulance. I got shipped out to a children's hospital and stayed there for a week.
Split my thumb bone down the middle to the first joint while playing softball.
Someone spiked my drink at work with something I was allergic to as a retaliation joke.
Got kidney stones. I do not wish that pain on ANYONE. The only relief I could get was laying out on the cold emergency room floor tile and not moving.
Coworker dropped an economy sized can of Hershey's chocolate syrup on my foot. It got knocked off a 12ft shelf. I got a lovely boot and a few black toes over that one.
And, most recently, I fell in an unmarked puddle in a grocery store and broke my foot.
Hindsight: My poor feet lol.
12. Roll with the first excuse.
It was before I got into medical school, I was volunteering in the ER. I walked in one night, and a tech was scrubbing a guy with road rash down his arm, his body, and his leg. It looked really painful, and I asked the patient what happened.
"I was on my Harley, and I was being chased by the cops. I went around a corner, hit some gravel, and laid my bike down."
I noticed the man's wife in the corner of the room roll her eyes.
"How does that story sound?" He asked.
"Sounds great," I said. "What really happened?"
"I was on my scooter going downhill and I fell off."
"Stick with the first story."
11. You should see an ulcerated colon *raises hand*
Appendicitis. I thought I had the flu and nursed it for over 24 hours. Not painful but most uncomfortable experience. My doctor showed me photos of what she saw and cut out so I guess that was cool/gross.
Been there too. The pain is insane.
For those who haven't had it, it starts off like a stitch in your side or a stomach cramp, and it just doesn't go away and gets steadily and steadily worse over hours until you're buckle over in the fetal position just holding yourself because you feel like you might pass out from pain. And standing straight up is one of the most painful things you can do so your body wants to do everything in its power to stay very still.
10. Never forget Scout training.
Cutting a pumpkin for Halloween. Turned to answer my daughter's question and stabbed myself in the chest.
"Honeeeeey? I think I need to go to the Emergency Room!"
"What ? Oh my god you're bleeding everywhere. Here's a towel, just hold it tight there, I'll get the car keys. Kids ! In the car, Daddy had another accident!"
A short wait and a few stitches later, we went out for Ice cream. Mr. Jack O'Lantern had some real blood on him that year.
How do you even stab yourself in the chest?
Violating one of the Cub Scout rules of using a knife... never cut towards yourself. And pay attention when using a knife. And use a sharp knife... it was dull, I was pushing hard to get through Mr. Pumpkin. turned to talk to my daughter and the knife made it through the pumpkin and carved me instead.
Bounced off my sternum so it no abdominal cavity penetration. But confessing to the nurses and doctor produced some laughter.
"I'd say the pumpkin won your knife fight!"
Bloody nose in 8th grade. I got hit in the face by a volleyball in gym class, bled for 45 minutes until it eventually stopped. and then once I got home and had friends over, one guy hit me in the face with a pillow and my nose started to bleed again. Went to the E.R, was there almost all night for a broken septum and a bloody nose. To this day my nose is still crooked, my plan is to get a nose job when I'm rich (probably won't happen, it's not very noticeable but to me it is)
8. Don't run red lights.
F*ckin' red light runners, man.
It's weird that people give me sh*t for checking both ways when the intersection has lights. Like, motherf*cker you've SEEN people run them yourself!
7. Cipro is a nasty drug.
At 2 years old I drank an entire bottle of children's Tylenol and had to go get my stomach pumped.
When I was 15, I split my chin open after falling while ice skating. I had to get 3 stitches in my chin and go to school with a giant bandaid over it.
In college, bronchitis+asthma. I asked the nurse if you could literally cough your lungs up, she said no, and then I had a coughing fit so hard my sight blacked out and I almost passed out.
2 years ago, it was an adverse reaction to ciprofloxacin. I became so weak I couldn't stand and spent 3 months in PT building up enough strength to be able to walk again. My gait is still abnormal, but improving with time.
6. A string of bad luck?
- Work shop accident when I was in high school. 13 stitches.
- Motorcycle accident when I was in the service. Fractured skull, partially amputated left ear, broken collar bone.
- Attacked by crazy girlfriend with an iron. 15 stitches in my head.
- Fell down drunk and split my chin open. 7 stitches.
- Heart attack.
In that order.
Think you should stay in bed for rest of your life but then your bed might collapse.
Iron like a golf club or iron like the thing you use on clothes?
Clothes iron. I turned around after she hit me and she was swinging it in circles over her head like a lasso. She went to jail.
5. Nope, thanks.
A softball-sized cyst twisted around one of my ovaries, decided that it was done lurking, and spontaneously ruptured.
I had a golf ball sized cyst rupture as well. Worst pain I've ever felt
4. Unnecessary edit but okay.
Quarter in my throat...
Edit: I forgot to say it got stuck and partially blocked my air way.
"Safest place to keep your money!" they say. "Don't trust the banks" they say, safe my ass.
Now I get why the mafia always wants people to "cough up."
Your mistake was not putting them up your ass. You clearly had the wrong hole!
3. Men are stubborn creatures.
Kidney stone that my gp said wasn't a kidney stone, just muscle spasms.
My husband on the other hand:
- Bicycle accident: broken arm, road rash
- Bicycle accident: cracked rib, collapsed lung, separated shoulder
- Bicycle accident: leg broken in three places
Still rides his bicycle almost every morning.
400 plus degree hot cooking oil accidentally dumped on my feet.
Skies & stars. Please tell me you were wearing shoes.
Or a hazmat suit. I got a tiny second degree burnt one time and the pain was crazy. 0/10
1. That's it, I'm abstinent now.
Have posted this story before under a most embarassing thread :/
A while back, I was having sex with my FWB, and I started to get annoyed that he would just lightly flick the nipple with his tongue and move on. This time I told him, "MORE PRESSURE" and he bites on it nice and firmly but with not too much of a strong sensation.
Cue that weekend and I show up to the Emergency Room of the hospital all clammy and feverish. I noticed the bite on my nipple widen like a fissure and ooze a gross pus. The first triage nurse looks a bit concerned, and I explain that my nipple was bitten and I got a fever from it. "How long have you been breastfeeding?" "I don't breastfeed". Nurse raises eyebrows and moves me on the the ambulatory waiting room.
The next nurse there calls me up, and I say, I've got a bite on my nipple and she's like, "Is it from from a baby" And I'm like, nope, it's from an adult. She looks up from her note pad and her eyes widened up, "OH! Oohhhhh. Ahh. wow." and she tries not to crack up as she finishes her assessment.
Now I have to wait for a physician to see me, and all of them seem to be older women, so I feel a bit relaxed. NOPE. This young male doctor calls my name up and takes me into the room. I tell him that I got bit on the nipple and he asks, "what kind of insect do you think it was?" and I say, it was from an adult, human male. He covers his mouth with his hand and says, "ah, well it's good you told me that, because human bites can be quite infectious" and proceeds to get the rest of my symptoms quite calmly.
So he has to inspect and feel my breast area, but he says he will ask a female nurse to be in the room at the same time as a chaperone (for legal reasons I guess). It turns out it was nurse who saw me previously and I avoid eye contact. The doc starts examining and pressing around the wound, and asks how it feels, and I say painful, and then he moved his hand to the other side of the nipple (which had no wound), and he's like, is it painful now? and I say "Nope, it feels pretty nice". Silence. Fair to say I'm writing this from the grave.
TLDR: After becoming the talk of the hospital cafeteria, I proceed to creep on medical professionals with my nearly-headless-nip.
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Former Disney Park Actors Describe The Weirdest Experiences They Ever Had While In Character
An undeniable part of the magic that guests experience at many of the Disney parks around the world is the interactions with characters.
Those who post photos of their Disney vacations will almost always include a photo with Mickey and/or Donald Duck, Goofy, Minnie, and their human friends like Snow White, Belle, Moana, or villains like Gaston.
It's not that difficult to suspend your disbelief during an encounter with a Disney character.
But spoiler alert, the beloved icons you're putting your arms around and giving hugs are with total strangers who are paid to make you feel special.
Redditors got a chance to discover what it's like for those costumed Disney cast members giving hugs and signing autographs to kids of all ages that they've never met before.
Redditor nvoltage1017 asked:
"Former actors at Disney parks, what’s the weirdest thing that happened to you while you were in character?"
Fluffy Disney characters are appealing to a niche interest in the kink community.
"I was one of the performers for Nick Wilde from Zootopia a few years ago, And if you’re not aware; a large number of people in the furry community find him highly attractive."
"You can just imagine the number of people in that community who flirted with me and/or Judy and whispered some pretty sexual things to us. I think I also had a guy grab Nick’s tie like in that flirty way, we had to get him escorted out of the park."
"The moral of the story is: don’t be inappropriate with the characters, we are real people underneath, and there are legitimate consequences for that kind of behaviour."
Just Plain Goofy
"I was playing Goofy inside a restaurant and I got swarmed Aliens-style by a hoard of <10 kids. Unfortunately while I was playing around with them the inner hood below the mask slipped over my eyes and I was completely blinded. We had assistants around whom we could signal for help by flapping our arms, but the kids had made it a game of attaching themselves Tarzan-like to both my arms and to raise them I would have had to lift 3-4 kids per arm (dangerous even if I'd been strong enough to do that)."
"I found myself blind and completely rooted to the spot, unable to ask for help and with nobody realizing that I was in trouble. I spent like a solid 10-15 minutes in that sort of limbo reflecting on the life decisions that had taken me there until the assistant came over and whispered 'set is over dude' and I finally managed to signal something was wrong."
Things get out of control.
Why They Do It
"I was a 'mouse height' performer at Disney World around 2013. Can unfortunately confirm groping happened from time to time and it was incredibly uncomfortable. We were trained to move away if we could and signal to the character attendants to escort the guest away if it happened. One time some guy thought it appropriate to pick me up completely off the ground in a bear hug. The head pushed back and, because the inside is connected to us with head gear and a chin strap, my neck bent back with it and it hurt like hell."
"Not a weird story, but one of my most memorable guest experiences was meeting a little blind boy as Mickey in Epcot. I gently guided his hands to the soft ears, then the nose, and bow tie and he was laughing and his smile lit up the whole room. I still get emotional thinking about it! Interactions like that made it all worth it to me at the time."
"I dated a girl that played one of the fairies for the Tinkerbell place. Beyond the pretty much daily occurrence of old dads hitting on her (she was 19 at the time) the weirdest thing to happen to her was a woman with a 4yr old little girl was all excited to get a picture with Tinkerbell, who was busy, so my ex volunteered to do pictures and entertain the little girl while they waited."
"The woman was a b*tch about that idea, rudely saying she was here to see Tinkerbell and not 'off-brand' fairies. So just shrugging it off, my ex moved on. A bit later, she hears a commotion and Tinkerbell is obviously upset, and security shows up. Apparently, this woman was Tinkerbell's bio mom and had taken her granddaughter to Disney, just to violate the restraining order against her."
"Disney Jail is a real place."
Trapped In Sick
"I used to work at a different amusement park that featured similar costumed characters. The worst thing I ever heard was the time one of the characters was overcome by heat in 95 degree weather, and vomited inside the suit, splattering the inside of the suit's head with their half-digested lunch."
"They had to walk a long distance back to the dressing rooms breathing the super-heated vomit air the entire way."
Things get violent
That's Just Nuts
"Never was an actor, but when I was a kid at Disney World in the 70s, I watched Chip get into a fist fight with a young 20 something guy. The guys girlfriend wanted him to do a picture with Chip & Dale, but he didn't want to. Chip grabbed him in a head lock and his girlfriend snapped the photo. When Chip let go, the guy came up swinging. Dale had to jump in and break them up, as Chip started swinging back. For a kid of 12, it was awesome!"
Shifts To Avoid
"My ex wife was in the character department at Disney World years ago. She was always getting injured by guests. From macho men wanting to see how strong of a grip Mickey had, to grabbing hold of Donald's bill and yanking really hard. Pulling noses, beaks, ears, etc., can really hurt people."
"Another person was dressed as Daisy duck and got tackled by a guest and knocked out cold. When she recovered, she pressed charges."
"The worst nights for the characters were high school senior nights and the religious group nights. Bunch of unruly teens with little to no supervision. No one wanted to work those shifts. Ever."
Some situations were a bit on the laughable side.
"I was part of the Disney college program and I have my own stories but not as a character. My mom on the other hand, she was a character actor back in the day (60’s or 70’s). They were testing a new headpiece for the seven dwarf costumes in Disneyland and my mom wore one of them out on a march with Snow White. As a Dwarf, your head is inside their hat, their face on their stomach, etc. Being Anaheim, it was really hot that summer day and as they were going around following Snow White a little kid saw my mom “Doc” he ran up to give him/her a hug. As he was hugging Doc, the plastic that made up the face started melting inwards and the child started screaming 'I killed Doc! I killed Doc!' In hysterics. Character handlers rushed my mom/Doc off through one of the secret passages by Pirates and got her out of the costume before the plastic could melt onto her."
"Always thought it was a fun story and curious how much it screwed up that kid."
The Gas Leak
"Not a cast member but either Mickey or Minnie cut a very audible fart while posing with my wife and me. It must've been awful inside that dutch oven of a costume."
"I knew a friend(a guy) who wore Minnie Mouse costume. He told me almost all guys would put their hands around his waist. He wouldn’t dare to talk or else they will hear his manly voice and that might pisses them off."
"Edit: this blows up quickly. I feel I need to let people know that it’s not okay to grope the Disney characters. My friend had introduced me to the people who play them and they are just normal people. All I can tell you is that they will make a disgusting face under the mask and talk sh*t about you later after work."
Disney cast members must've been relieved to some extent when the parks reopened with pandemic measures.
Not only did the Disney park institute mask mandates, but any character also interactions–if there were any at all–were at a safe distance from guests, preventing physical contact.
With normal character interactive procedures now back in place at most Disney parks, always remember to be on your best behavior.
People Break Down Which Practices The United States Needs To Adopt From Other Countries
We can all agree that there is something to appreciate about every country in the world, but there are arguably some countries that appear to have their ducks more consistently and happily in a row than others.
While it would be easy to let pride get in the way and continue to do things the same way, the more productive thing would be to learn from the countries who have figured out a better way to do certain things, whether it's healthcare, food banks, or other services.
Reflecting on the United States, Redditor Blinds**thead asked:
"What is one thing the USA should adopt from some other country?"
Introductions to Alcohol
"Swedish drinking laws. If I remember correctly, you can purchase alcohol below 5% at age 18, and be served liquor in bars (so the bartender can control the amount being served)."
"Seems like a smarter way to introduce kids to alcohol rather than opening the floodgates at 21."
Taxes to Approve
"I've never done them but they seem complicated and stress my parents out, so I just know I'll f**k mine up and end up in stupid jail, lol (laughing out loud)."
"Just send me something to sign, please!"
"A prison system that focuses on rehabilitation instead of punishment. Many countries have been successful with this saving literally billions of dollars and cutting down on crime."
Universal School Lunches
"Universal school lunches. It is embarrassing that we do not have folks cooking lunches for students from scratch and that it is not provided for free to all students."
"Do you want to bring your own lunch? Great, but you can also have the free hot lunch that looks homemade, not pizza squares, canned veggies, a slice of fruit, and 3 oz of milk."
"Kids shouldn't be going into debt for lunch. We're probably wealthy enough that our food waste alone would be sufficient, if captured magically, to feed every kid in the United States three proper meals per day."
"Also walkable cities and above-ground monorail systems."
"Finland has recently ended homelessness by just allowing people to live in small apartments without any preconditions, and four out of five of them make their way back to a stable life."
"It's also cheaper than allowing people to be homeless."
Foster Care Assistance
"It would be nice to also eliminate the fees foster parents pay for general registration, classes, and social services related to fostering or adoption."
"And also eliminate trying to recoup costs by billing parents whose children have been placed in foster care."
Longer Paid Family Leave
"I was SUPER blessed to get 12 weeks fully pay. But that’s not enough time. Putting the emotional aspect aside, I’ve returned to work functioning on four to five hours of sleep a night, and my productivity and cognitive abilities are greatly handicapped."
"My three-month-old son can’t even hold his head up or sit, let alone talk to tell me if anything’s wrong, and he’s placed in the care of someone else from 7:15 am to 5:15 pm. Doesn’t seem healthy for mother or child."
"The fact that our toilets don't have bidets and that at public restrooms the gap between the doors is massive, are both disgusting. Our whole bathroom situation is messed up."
Having a Siesta
"According to Dr. Andrew Huberman, whether you eat lunch or not, everyone requires a rest midday."
Tax Included in the Price
"Man, I had such a hard time with this when I visited America. Maths in my head is not my forte and I’m so used to looking at prices and expecting that to just be the price."
"I don’t get why you wouldn’t just add in the tax to the price. No one wants to do math unnecessarily. I mean, we don’t even tip in Australia so I don’t even need to work that out."
Raising Multilingual Children
"Teaching a foreign language to young students in public schools (ie 5yrs, k-5) when the propensity to learn the language quickly is maximum."
Clean Public Restrooms
"The clean restrooms in Japan were amazing. I never had to clean a toilet seat to put my young kids on it. In the states? Near every time. People here just don’t care about the ‘we’ when it comes to restrooms."
Separate Work and Healthcare
"Decent healthcare that isn't tied to your job. Other countries all over the world have figured out different ways to do this, so why can't we? (I know, corporations own politicians.)"
"I'm not an expert, but I'm guessing it would destabilize a bunch of industries in the near term. But I wonder if long-term, it would create so much new innovation since people would be unafraid to lose their health benefits to leave their stable but s**tty corporate jobs to start new ventures."
Designated Drivers on the Go
"In Japan, there is a service that you can call 24 hours per day that will come with two drivers and one car. One driver drives you and your car home, and the other follows in their car to pick up the driver that took you home with your car. No DUI, etc."
"It's actually really affordable there. No need to get an uber home that night and then an uber back the next day when you are hungover only to find out you have a million parking tickets or your car got towed."
Though there are positives to every country, it would be so cool to see each country be more open-minded about adopting the positives of other countries.
If a country is doing something better than another, the best thing for the citizens would be to take some notes, rather than let their pride do the talking.
Every year, at the end of the Academy Awards, while the auditorium erupts in cheers upon the announcement of the Best Picture winner, as they are somewhat obligated to do, many viewers at home instead shake their heads and raise their eyebrows.
That's if they don't throw popcorn or worse at their TVs.
While those who did so when La La Land was announced as the winner in 2017 would end up getting their revenge in what remains one of the biggest blunders of Oscar history, others are still reeling at some past winners, which they believe were more worthy of a Razzie than an Oscar.
Taste being subjective, plenty of people still find themselves confused by some films which won countless awards, received across-the-board raves, and are considered classics or masterpieces, but they find to be utterly unbearable.
Often finding themselves in an unpopular minority and having to keep their opinion to themselves, similar to Seinfeild's Elaine Benes and her unique disdain for The English Patient.
"Which film that’s universally praised do you find utterly repulsive?"
"My best friend really enjoys movies that make you anxious and uncomfortable like 'Uncut Gems' and 'Good Time', but I firmly do not like those kinds of movies."
"I know it's the point, but i find no joy in the level of discomfort I feel while watching them."
"Some other honorable mentions:"
Not Exactly Authentic
"'The Greatest Showman'."
"Mostly on the grounds that the real P T Barnum was a f*cking monster."- LostMercenary99
"The real John Smith was a f*cking sick bastard and the true events most definitely weren't a love story at all."- CagedKagepocahontas GIFGiphy
Who The "Devil" Was Is Debatable...
"'The Devil Wears Prada'."
"I just wanted everyone in that movie to die in a fire."- PothierM
Tearjerker, Or Sleeping Pill?
"I don't know if it's universally praised but I f*cking hate it."- sara_c907
One Of The All Time Creepiest Shower Scenes...
"Every damn Christmas."
"To be fair I can’t really stand Will Ferrel in general."- cook-isationwill farrel ross geller GIFGiphy
The Title Could Refer To The People Leaving The Theater...
"'Fast and Furious', just a terribly written extremely corny show."- tds542
Fern Gully Did It Better...
"All day long."
'Those blue miserable tw*ts."- akbarkhan666
There Was Bound To Be One...
"I don't know about utterly repulsive, but I have a hard time seeing why everyone loves 'Citizen Kane'."
"And I understand that there was movie making before 'Citizen Kane' and movie making after 'Citizen Kane' such that it informed movie makers going forward as to how it's done, let's say, but after a certain point we, the audience, don't see that anymore, and it's just another movie."
"And then I hear people say well it highlights social hierarchy under capitalism and such, but a lot of movies do that."
"And then there's the twist at the end which is not much of a twist which is the point, I suppose, but the whole thing seemed like a letdown when I finally watched it."
'As a result while a lot of people say it's their number one movie ever or at least in their top 10, it's on my top 10 list of movies not to watch again."- emjayseacitizen kane applause GIFGiphy
Why Not Just Do A Documentary?
"I think it's atrocious how they create hyperreality by over romanticizing the life of a famous person."
"Out of all the awful biopics however, i despise 'Bohemian Rhapsody' the most."
"The scene where the band supposedly invents 'We Will Rock You' on the spot makes my skin crawl."
"How did that movie end up winning so many awards, despite all the plot inaccuracy's and the poor editing."
"It is really beyond me."- Biemolt
Maybe Too Realistic?
'Not utterly repulsive, but I'm in the minority for thinking that 'Nomadland''s Best Picture win was a joke."
"It was barely a movie and relied too much on performance exploitation of actual people for its thin-as-f*ck narrative."
"Honestly, it might be my least favorite BP winner of recent times, yes I'd say that even 'Crash', 'The Artist' and 'Green Book' were better."- SamwisethePoopyButt
Not To Mention That Fake Baby...
"Shameless piece of 'Merican' propaganda, and I couldn't help but laugh at Bradley Cooper's portrayal in the first half hour."- mos_methBradley Cooper Baby GIFGiphy
Truman Capote Would Agree...
"Breakfast at Tiffany's."- LucyVialli
He Did Not Have Them At Hello...
"It was just TOO. DAMN. LONG."
"The 'Show me the money' bit was funny, but it happened early on in the film, and the rest dragged on forever."- Brilliant_Tourist400
We All Know "Moonlight" Was Better...
"'La La Land'."
"The music was utterly forgettable and the plot felt like it was written by a bunch of Hollywood executives jerking each other off."- Aviator506Emma Stone Love GIF by La La LandGiphy
Needless to say, everyone's taste is different, and everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Meaning there's bound to be an argument at the next "movie night" you have with friends over whether to watch Citizen Kane or Spice World.
And you should feel no shame in expressing which movie you want to watch.
Or rather, "what you really, REALLY, want" to watch...
Everyone wishes there was something different about their body.
Smaller nose, longer legs, a different hair or eye color.
There are those, however, whose frustrations with their body are less personal, and more universal.
Finding themselves frustrated less with their own DNA, but with human anatomy in general.
Frustrated by how certain functions work the way they do, and feeling there could be significant improvements in other departments as well.
"What is the biggest design flaw of the human body?"
Would Make A Lot Of People Less Cautious
"Unable to regenerate body parts."
"You lose an arm or a leg, you can't grow a new one."
"We can grow hair and nails forever, but not body parts."- drygnfyre
And Maybe The Whole Childbirth Process While We're At It...
"The size of the average baby head vs the size of the average vagina."- Ruggiard
"The Obstetric Dilemma."
"Basically, the human body isn't built for easy birth."- strykazoidSeason 3 Baby GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
It Isn't Terribly Practical If You Think About It...
"IMO the whole 'we put food into the only air hole we have and can choke and die if we aren’t careful' thing is a pretty big miss."- el_rico_pavo_real
"Throat has a built in flaw - we breath n swallow food through the same area."- coolguy1793B
A More Direct Route Would Be Helpful
"I like the example of the recurrent laryngeal nerve."
"It runs from the brain to the larynx."
"However, to get there it goes from the brain, down the neck, into the chest, around the aorta and then back up the chest, up the neck and then connects to the larynx."
"That's a massive detour."
"It also means a blow to the chest can damage your ability to talk."- The_Thunder_ChildGiphy
Never Underestimate The Damage Teeth Can Do
"The fact that I sometimes accidentally eat the inside of my mouth."- -Grey_Area-·
He Does Have A Point
"'Nostalgia is the greatest human weakness. Second only to the neck'... -Dwight Schrute
In Plain Sight...
"In our eyes, the blood vessels supplying our photoreceptors are in front of them and therefore in the way of the incoming light."
"Probably not the biggest and there are some good justifications for it being set up this way."
"But it still must be such a pain for the brain constantly having to edit these out when forming our visual experience."- oliwoggleLoop Eyes GIF by Doze StudioGiphy
Maybe Just Every Illness And Ailment?
"My aunt had one when she was 31 and the healthiest person in the world."
"Ran an aerobics class at the Y, just perfect perfect health."
"Went to Pizza Hut with her the night before, next day, massive stroke, almost died, critical surgery, twenty years later she still has trouble speaking."
"There is no reason that should’ve happened."
"Perfectly healthy person damaged for the rest of her life."
"She’s still amazing and lovely and my favorite person but damn is that annoying."- Jibber_Fight
"You can kinda just die at any moment from a brain aneurysm, even if you're perfectly healthy."- mcsteve87
All Our Bones Could Be Stronger...
"For upright walking creatures, why is our head so (relatively) delicate?"
"Trip a single time and you're blinded, have brain damage, bit off your tongue, or lost teeth."- kmn493Episode 15 Pain GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
They Arguably Also Weren't Built For Stairs...
"Our knees for sure."
"They just weren't built to last past 40 years."- TopShelfCrazy
A Couple More On/Off Switches Would Be Helpful As Well...
"That we cannot delete or sort unwanted/not needed info and memories from our brains."- PickAName616
As the saying goes, "nobody's perfect."
Or rather, "no BODY is perfect."
Otherwise, we'd all stop complaining about aching limbs or worrying about choking or other injuries.