We all have our secrets. Do we live with them? Do we speak of them openly? It's a difficult question, unique to each individual.
Redditor popcornkernels is responsible for today's burning question: "What's the most personal thing you're willing to share with us?"
Warning: Sensitive material ahead.
"I got PTSD..."
I got PTSD last year from seeing my father get murdered.
"I have no backup plan..."
I'm 3.5 years into the career I dreamed about as a child and I can't f**king stand it anymore. I have no backup plan and I feel guilty that so many people I cared about cheered me on to follow my dreams.
People ask why I'm single and I tell them because I'm too busy or have no time, but the truth is, I don't know what a healthy relationship looks like. I always self sabotage and do something wrong when I start seeing someone and so it never really ends well all the time. I prefer to be alone since at least I don't get hurt.
"I was evicted..."
I was evicted from my childhood home when I was 15. My mom couldn't keep the place up by herself after my brother moved out. She didn't know what to tell me, so she didn't. She had me take a bag with me when we went to my stepdad's for a weekend over the summer. A weekend turned into two weeks, turned into a month and turned into the entire summer. Finally she told me what had happened and because she didn't know how to tell me, she chose not to. I lost everything, and slept on stepdad's living room sofa for 2.5 years.
It's one thing to have lost my material belongs that can be replaced like my computer, video game consoles and such but I lost irreplaceable things like the memory box I started when I was 7, my childhood photos and all the dolls my dad had given me throughout the years. My dad has been gone 5 years now, and those dolls are something I wish if nothing else, I could have saved.
"I didn't cry..."
I didn't cry when I found out one of my friends from high school killed himself. It was almost half a year ago and not one tear has leaked yet. I knew him for years, we took our black belt tests together, and I was the stage manager for the high school theatre and he did lighting. I had to break the news to so many people and yet I felt no sadness. As a guy who attempted the same thing not a year previously, I'm still frustrated at my lack of emotion towards it all, especially when I see my/our friends posting about how much they still miss him.
"My anxiety disorder..."
My anxiety disorder is more severe than I let on. When I am alone, it is pure hell.
"I never knew my father."
I never knew my father. My brother was always more upset about it than I was. The father guy ran away when I was less than a year old. He later killed someone, went to jail, and now is living in an Assisted living facility on parole. We did not know his real name until recently. My mother named my brother after him. So, we found out that the name was fake. But, my brothers middle name turns out to be my father's real name coincidentally. Could you imagine the dude's reaction when my mother suggested the middle name? That would have been funny to see.
"I've had nightmares..."
My mother, a schizophrenic drug addict, screamed "Help Me" before putting a revolver in her mouth and pulling the trigger. I was the only one home and wasn't able to dissuade her; I was a young child.
I've had nightmares every night since, for seventeen years. The only time I'm able to sleep soundly is when my partner is sleeping next to me. He unknowingly heals my worst trauma just by snoring and holding me close.
"I got a call..."Giphy
I got a call from Be the Match (the national bone marrow donor registry) on Friday. It seems I came up as a possible match for a 9 yr old boy with leukemia. I just finished signing consent forms and filling out the medical questionnaire today, and I have some further testing to confirm the match later this week.
"I found out..."
I found out my mom's cancer has spread to her bones today. I just want to make sure she's able to keep as much comfort and dignity as she can with the time she may have left.
I'm finally facing the ugly truth of age and mortality. My parents and a few other relatives who are in their early 60's now are having a multitude of health complications from mental illness to cancer and its scaring the shit out of me.
I'm only 26, and I think back to when I was a kid and everyone was perfectly fine, just doesn't seem that long ago...
"My girlfriend since high school..."
My girlfriend since high school has schizophrenia, I love her with all my heart, but there are days when It's really hard. I am patient with her and try helping her and convincing her to take her meds. There have been months where she isn't herself and breaks up with me, that's the hardest cause even though I know she's doing it cause her condition I can't force her to be with me.
She has never been with other man. And damn she is the love of my life, she shines like no one else I've ever seen. My family and friends would prefer I left her, but they know I won't and they respect that which is nice, I guess.
We have been self-harming free for the last 3 months which is also nice.
"I'm having surgery..."
I'm having surgery Monday and I'm afraid I won't wake up. I have two kids and I don't want to be done watching them grow-up.
"I was beaten..."
I was beaten to the point of miscarriage when I was seventeen. I now cannot have children.
I was recently diagnosed with early onset Parkinson's.