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Love is hard. Relationships are damn near impossible!

There has been a debate for sometime that the reason for all the strife is that the human condition of 'monogamy' is unhealthy. You all do know that humans are the only species that practice the method only making love with one partner once commitment is involved? With that being said.... cheating is never cool after you've promised your fidelity.

Redditor u/pdog43097 wanted to hear form the scoundrels out there as why they didn't choose the better path by asking.... People who have cheated on their SO, why didn't you just end the relationship?


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I wanted both things, and i was a selfish, immature fool. I've never regretted anything more than hurting my partner like that. trycksy

Be a Grown Up.... 

Immaturity, and a lot of insecurity. I was a teenager the only time I ever cheated and it wasn't even a thought process when I did it, it was really just "I want that right now" and the fact that I had a girlfriend didn't even cross my mind because I had never had to think of other's feelings in that way before. I was an insecure kid who thought that having a lot of sex meant I was masculine and it proved something, but now I know its just a scum move.

After the person I cheated with told my girlfriend, I learned really quickly what those actions meant and what kind of behavior is expected from a SO. Wish I didn't have to hurt someone to figure it out though. OptimalFollicle

Kharma will come for you! 

Due to low self esteem, I thrived off attention, so rather than saying "no thank you, I have a girlfriend," I'd let things continue. But at the same time, I also craved stability, so never wanted to break things off with said girlfriend. There's nothing I regret more than hurting my ex like I did and karma finally caught up with me a few years later when I was cheated on by a different girlfriend, repeatedly. I didn't end that relationship after I found out about her cheating the first time, as I felt I deserved it from my past. I vowed never to cheat again, especially after feeling the pain myself. eddcunningham

Family Sacrifice.... 

I've never cheated on anyone, but my dad had an affair once. Honestly, I think the only reason he stayed with my insane, alcoholic mother at all is because of me and my sister. Arale-chan

Both of my parents are decent people, but their lives are so loveless, it's insane. If they weren't married, they would never hang out or spend time together. They have no similarities whatsoever, but they got pregnant at a young age in the 80s and 5 kids later they are definitely just keeping the family together.

Finding out that one is cheating would be the least surprising thing ever. thanks4fishes

The Loneliness...

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Fear of being alone. But that's the way it went anyway. hermano_desperto

The Alternative.... 

I was in an abusive relationship and wanted to feel like I had power over something. I didn't. natureterp

Right there with you. Ruined a friendship because of it. But on a plus side (I guess) it did end the abusive relationship. Insert Caddy shack meme here. CPO_Mendez

Thank You.

As someone that's been cheated on, I just want to say I appreciate the level of honesty in this thread from past cheaters.

I've met people that have cheated on partners and seriously didn't think it was a big deal or even that if was somehow a good thing that they did it. One of them was an ex of mine. Granted, they are likely straight up narcissists, as they are 100% only thinking of themselves and in no way consider the impact that it had on their partner.

But yea, I just wanted to say I appreciate the honesty and remorse. I like to think it's one of those mistakes in life that people only make once. But unfortunately, as with all things, we know that isn't always the case. JohnyUtah_

KRYPTONITE...

I cheated with an ex long term SO. That relationship was was so co-dependent and unhealthy. The break up made me want to die. I was trying so hard to move on and put myself back together. I didn't want to end the new relationship. The ex was like my kryptonite, it took a long time to be able to not get sucked back in. It was because of my own baggage not the new SO. I screwed up. DestinationUnknown68

The Missing.... 

I've never been in a relationship, but know two people who have cheated. Both said they still "loved" their SO, but something was missing and they sought that from other people. They didn't want to leave their current relationship, because they were still getting something good from it. But something else important was missing, so they simply got THAT from another. SmoothOperator56

Sex Matters...

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It was a dead bedroom situation. And not just no sex, but no intimacy, no connection and fairly toxic. But I felt stuck in the overall relationship and didn't know how to get out. The first time I had an affair, it was more of an impulsive mistake that I regretted deeply and said, I'll never do that again.

I tried to make the marriage work, but a few years later it wasn't, and I thought having a sexual/romantic affair would round out things that were missing in my life and make things survivable. Instead, after barely even meeting up with the "other" man, it made me realize, I can't do this, I need to decide between being married or not. I was separated and divorced two months later.

So, I guess I only half qualify to answer the question because it's not like I continued merrily along with the relationship. Aster_Pop_Soda

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Who else wold like to explain their actions? We're listening.

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