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Love is hard. Relationships are damn near impossible!

There has been a debate for sometime that the reason for all the strife is that the human condition of 'monogamy' is unhealthy. You all do know that humans are the only species that practice the method only making love with one partner once commitment is involved? With that being said.... cheating is never cool after you've promised your fidelity.

Redditor u/pdog43097 wanted to hear form the scoundrels out there as why they didn't choose the better path by asking.... People who have cheated on their SO, why didn't you just end the relationship?


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I wanted both things, and i was a selfish, immature fool. I've never regretted anything more than hurting my partner like that. trycksy

Be a Grown Up.... 

Immaturity, and a lot of insecurity. I was a teenager the only time I ever cheated and it wasn't even a thought process when I did it, it was really just "I want that right now" and the fact that I had a girlfriend didn't even cross my mind because I had never had to think of other's feelings in that way before. I was an insecure kid who thought that having a lot of sex meant I was masculine and it proved something, but now I know its just a scum move.

After the person I cheated with told my girlfriend, I learned really quickly what those actions meant and what kind of behavior is expected from a SO. Wish I didn't have to hurt someone to figure it out though. OptimalFollicle

Kharma will come for you! 

Due to low self esteem, I thrived off attention, so rather than saying "no thank you, I have a girlfriend," I'd let things continue. But at the same time, I also craved stability, so never wanted to break things off with said girlfriend. There's nothing I regret more than hurting my ex like I did and karma finally caught up with me a few years later when I was cheated on by a different girlfriend, repeatedly. I didn't end that relationship after I found out about her cheating the first time, as I felt I deserved it from my past. I vowed never to cheat again, especially after feeling the pain myself. eddcunningham

Family Sacrifice.... 

I've never cheated on anyone, but my dad had an affair once. Honestly, I think the only reason he stayed with my insane, alcoholic mother at all is because of me and my sister. Arale-chan

Both of my parents are decent people, but their lives are so loveless, it's insane. If they weren't married, they would never hang out or spend time together. They have no similarities whatsoever, but they got pregnant at a young age in the 80s and 5 kids later they are definitely just keeping the family together.

Finding out that one is cheating would be the least surprising thing ever. thanks4fishes

The Loneliness...

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Fear of being alone. But that's the way it went anyway. hermano_desperto

The Alternative.... 

I was in an abusive relationship and wanted to feel like I had power over something. I didn't. natureterp

Right there with you. Ruined a friendship because of it. But on a plus side (I guess) it did end the abusive relationship. Insert Caddy shack meme here. CPO_Mendez

Thank You.

As someone that's been cheated on, I just want to say I appreciate the level of honesty in this thread from past cheaters.

I've met people that have cheated on partners and seriously didn't think it was a big deal or even that if was somehow a good thing that they did it. One of them was an ex of mine. Granted, they are likely straight up narcissists, as they are 100% only thinking of themselves and in no way consider the impact that it had on their partner.

But yea, I just wanted to say I appreciate the honesty and remorse. I like to think it's one of those mistakes in life that people only make once. But unfortunately, as with all things, we know that isn't always the case. JohnyUtah_

KRYPTONITE...

I cheated with an ex long term SO. That relationship was was so co-dependent and unhealthy. The break up made me want to die. I was trying so hard to move on and put myself back together. I didn't want to end the new relationship. The ex was like my kryptonite, it took a long time to be able to not get sucked back in. It was because of my own baggage not the new SO. I screwed up. DestinationUnknown68

The Missing.... 

I've never been in a relationship, but know two people who have cheated. Both said they still "loved" their SO, but something was missing and they sought that from other people. They didn't want to leave their current relationship, because they were still getting something good from it. But something else important was missing, so they simply got THAT from another. SmoothOperator56

Sex Matters...

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It was a dead bedroom situation. And not just no sex, but no intimacy, no connection and fairly toxic. But I felt stuck in the overall relationship and didn't know how to get out. The first time I had an affair, it was more of an impulsive mistake that I regretted deeply and said, I'll never do that again.

I tried to make the marriage work, but a few years later it wasn't, and I thought having a sexual/romantic affair would round out things that were missing in my life and make things survivable. Instead, after barely even meeting up with the "other" man, it made me realize, I can't do this, I need to decide between being married or not. I was separated and divorced two months later.

So, I guess I only half qualify to answer the question because it's not like I continued merrily along with the relationship. Aster_Pop_Soda

REDDIT

Who else wold like to explain their actions? We're listening.

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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