There's always a way out... if you know what to offer.
Redditor PancakeSam_ asked today's burning question: "Police of Reddit, what bribes do you get offered most often? And for what offences?"
Turns out there's a variety, but are you surprised?
"We kept asserting that we were not arresting him..."
I worked as an EMT in my younger days and we came across this very drunk gentleman one day and put him in the back. (In my state it's legal to take custody of patients who are not alert and oriented) the patient in question thought we were cops because our uniforms were similar and he thought he was getting arrested for drunk and disorderly so he tried offering us the rest of his booze and $12 to let him go. We kept asserting that we were not arresting him and we were taking him to the hospital to sober up so he didn't walk into traffic like he was about to do.
"Stopped a car late one night..."
Stopped a car late one night for failure to maintain lane. Given the time, etc, I had expected to find a DUI.
Approached the passenger side window, talked briefly, and discovered they were indeed all on the way home from a club, with a stop at a conveniece store for food on the way.
The driver, though, was their DD, and not impaired at all. She was just distracted by the party atmosphere in the car.
In the lap of the front seat passenger was their convenience store bag. She started trying to make me a sandwich out of bologna, mustard, and a loaf of white bread.
"News flash..."
"You can keep it if you just let me go!"
"It" referring to various narcotics - baggie of heroin, little crack rock, jar of bud.
News flash: I'm keeping it as evidence and you're going to county.
"Everyone knows those..."
Cash for speeding offences. Everyone knows those soft plastic holders for your ownership and insurance? Well, people like to hand those over with cash stuck in them. I always make people take their documentation out of the plastic holder and hand it to me so this doesn't happen. Never have I, nor would I ever take it. It pisses me off when people do this. Do you really think I am going to abandon all my morals and job for $50? It is usually people that have come from outside of North American who do this. It might be acceptable there, but not here. Also for those that are about to ask why I don't charge them for trying to offering me a bribe, reasonable doubt is a b!tch.
"Most bizarre one..."
GiphySomeone already mentioned the most common one for me, which would be "you can keep the drugs/cash".
Most bizarre one would be from an offender who owned a taco shop and offered me free tacos for life if I looked the other way.
"But the one I've had a few times..."
Honestly there are waaaay more threats than there are bribes. But the one I've had a few times is money in lieu of DUI stuff.
"I had three stages of dealing with bribes..."
Never had any bribes offered when I was a cop. Got plenty of offers as a correctional officer. Mostly it was commissary (Ramen soups, honey buns, etc) and in return they'd ask for things like food from staff dining, getting moved to other housing sections or other cells, or for me to bring in cigarettes for them. I had one guy offer to wire me a few thousand dollars if I would bring a message to his wife.
I had three stages of dealing with bribes:
- "Nah, man, I'm good." If they pressed the matter, it became
- "No, I never take things from inmates." if they insisted, it was then
- "Okay, I don't feel like writing a report tonight if I don't have to. So, we're both going to pretend you were just joking. Because if you try to bribe me one more time, I'm writing you up and throwing you in the hole, and you might even catch another case. So you might want to shut up and walk away."
- Never got past stage 3.
"I had one gal in my office..."
As a Loss Prevention Officer, I apprehend and prosecute shoplifters. I had one gal in my office handcuffed and yelling at me. She was very dirty, smelly, and what looked to be sticky. I ignored her and continued to type my report while waiting for the police to arrive. While typing my report, she stops yelling and without skipping a beat, says very sexually, "I'll blow you if you let me go." I said "Ewwww, sit back and shut up." I've been bribed many things, but that was nasty.
"I was once offered porn level sex..."
I was once offered porn level sex with one of the hottest women I have ever known. Arguably the hottest woman I have ever known. I knew who she was too since a couple of friends of mine had slept with her. She was drunk. I walked back to the car and called for a female patrol to handle the remainder of the traffic stop, FSTs etc. I was still pulled off the road for a couple weeks for an investigation but was commended for not giving in.
"Had a guy who stole a car..."
Had a guy who stole a car offer me a McDonald's monopoly free French fry if I would just let me him go. Also if I just called his father, Tony the Tiger, he would be able to clear everything up.
"I've been threatened at least three dozen times."
In my fourteen years of police work, no one has ever offered me a bribe. I've seen a DUI suspect offer to give oral sex to a coworker. The offer was politely refused.
I've been threatened at least three dozen times. I've received death threats, threats of non-fatal violence, threats to have me fired, threats to rape me, threats that someone's god would curse me, and threats of lawsuits. Unless this is a very strange afterlife, no one has ever followed through on any of them.
"5 years on."
Giphy5 years on. One lady in a very joking manner said, "Can't I just buy you lunch or something?". I politely refused. That was the only time I've ever been propositioned in any way on the job. I must be hideous.
A cop friend of mine and his partner pulled a guy over for DUI and the guy offered him 10 bucks to "forget the whole thing."
He said "I've already called it in, and besides, I'd have to split that ten with my partner. If you're going to try to bribe me, at least make it more than five dollars!"
He didn't charge him with attempted bribery, because it would be hard to prove that he wasn't joking.
"He wasn't charged."
My SO's grandfather had to have his license revoked recently. He tried bribing the lady at the DMV.
He slid a hundo across to her and said, "How much is this gonna cost to get it taken care of?"
He wasn't charged. Had no business driving. Does not have his license now.
"To this day..."
Not a cop, but my brother is a TSA agent who had this story to tell. He once had to screen Justin Bieber as the kid was going through LAX. The kid really wanted to bring his soda from In-N-Out through the checkpoint. Even though he was going on a private jet which had sodas already on the plane, he wanted to bring that specific soda with him. No fluids over 3.4 ounces.
"I'll sing you a song if you let me keep it."
To this day, we're still not sure if he was trying to bribe a federal employee, or if he was just threatening to subject everyone in the terminal to his "music."
"Back in the early 2000s..."
Not me but my dad's best friend was a cop for like 40 years. Back in the early 2000s he pulled over a car with 4 chicks where the driver was drunk and they offered him group sex if he didn't give the driver a DWI.
"When I was in college..."
When I was in college, and frankly much better looking, and still struggling with a lot of mental health issues, I got pulled over for speeding. I was broke and it was a hefty ticket. I was drunk and didn't want him checking so I offered the (MUCH OLDER) officer a handjob if he let me off. He looked around for cameras, pulled out his penis, and predictably asked me to use my mouth after barely the first tug. I swallowed and he left me his number and drove off.
Never called him. I tried flashing a different officer another time but he was super gay so I ended up looking like a fool that time.
"I work in corrections..."
I work in corrections at our local county jail in the booking/intake section. A female doctor whom was arrested for DWI and would not be seeing a magistrate until the following morning, she missed the days cut off time and would have to wait another 24 hrs, got on her knees and loudly yelled "Who's d**k do I have to suck to get out of jail!?!?!" Not mine that's for sure, lol.
The people who love you the most can break your heart because of their betrayal of trust.
Cheating is cowardly and inexcusable, but depending on the situation and the couple, it is possible for them to find a path to healing emotional wounds.
But there are some ways in which infidelity is totally unforgivable.
That's the kind of scenario Redditor WCh3L3 was curious to hear about when they asked:
"What’s the wildest cheating story you’ve witnessed or happened to you?"
It must be exhausting leading double lives.
Hospital News
"A friend of a friend found out that her husband was cheating when she got to the hospital to see her husband who had just moments before been brought in by ambulance after a serious car accident only to be denied entry to his room because 'his wife was already in the room with him.'"
"He had two simultaneous lives with two women, neither of which was aware of the other."
– JeBronlLames
The Ruse
"My ex-wife pretended to be admitted to a mental health ward for long term treatment while actually staying with her new man and cheating on me."
– Impossible-Visit-199
"This one is just next level."
– most-royal-chemist
"That’s some Batman villain level of intrigue and machination. His wife missed her calling and wasted her abilities on sleeping around."
– filifijonka
A Separate Life
"My friend's mom was in a relationship with a guy for years and they ended up getting engaged and due to marry."
"The guy was a senior director of a company for which he travelled every week abroad for business."
"Eventually, the guy had a heart attack and when my friends mom turned up at the hospital, his wife and 2 kids were there also."
"Turned out he was already married with children and living a double life the whole time. When he went 'abroad' for business, he was simply going back to his actual family."
– wallbagz
Here's The Story
"My dad did this. He worked nights and would juggle both families that way."
"He came clean after he got admitted to hospital for heart trouble and realised that if things went badly he’d end up in this exact situation."
"I was 16 when he came clean that I have an older brother and sister. They found out about me then too - as did his wife."
"ETA: I’d actually already figured it out before he told me though. Nobody else had."
"EATA: I saw a preview of a text on my dad’s phone from my sister. I didn’t know she was my sister obviously, but it said ‘hi dad, mum says…’"
"At first I was in denial and I thought his friend must have borrowed his phone or something. I started to watch him more closely."
"He had a ringtone (lol the 00’s) that would say the name of the caller. I noticed whenever a certain name rang he’d leave the room. Some tactical eavesdropping later and 15 year old me had it figured out that I had a brother and sister."
"I didn’t clock I had a stepmother though, or that I was family no2 and they were his primary family. But I still think I did pretty well!"
"My whole family on my mum’s side knew - mum respected that it was my dad’s secret to tell and she gave him time to tell it. (Although they did have a few arguments about it as I was growing up, I never knew what they were about at the time.)"
– notemily-
Life is never the same once the truth comes out.
Shameless
"A family friend's husband was having an affair for 20+ years and that woman knew the entire time about his family. He was at her ranch one time and was bucked off a horse and broke his back. The affair partner called his wife to tell her and acted like everything about this situation was normal and the wife had no reason to act all upset at the affair. Some people really just have no shame."
"Guy lived and made a complete recovery, left his mistress and they stayed together since they were working on their relationship. He died a few years ago and the wife finds out he never actually left his mistress just lied."
– SailoLee92
Unilateral Decision
"In a small town the husband kept telling people he had an open marriage; finally someone asked his wife about it, she was unaware of this new arrangement."
– Long_Strange_Trip_GD
Rehab Romance
"Was in rehab, two people were there for sex addiction one a minister the other a Jewish housewife. They left rehab together early. Woman divorced her husband who sent her to rehab for sex addiction and married the guy she met in rehab. They are still married 10 years later and seem very happy."
– Life-Evidence-6672
On The Case
"I knew a guy years ago that was a private investigator. Many times he was approached by a spouse who suspected their partner was cheating."
"He had a slam-dunk strategy. He would suggest his client sign up for a course, whether a hobby thing, or educational. The key was that the class would happen for a period of weeks, all on the same day of the week, and all at the same time of day."
"Then, while his client was in class, he would follow the spouse."
"Caught them every time."
– PJMurphy
If you have a hunch about an unfaithful significant other, it's there for a reason.
Going For A Run
"Had a coworker who cheated on her live-in boyfriend. She would tell him she was going for a run, put on her shorts without underwear and would f'k her side piece in the apartment parking lot. So then she would come back inside sweaty 30 mins later and needed to shower and it all made sense to her boyfriend, he never questioned it. She was an awful human."
– rashawah
It Made Scents
"A friend caught her husband cheating because he kept coming home smelling like ferrets."
"Hard to play off 'long day at work' and explain that."
"When she found out at a holiday party that one of the young female coworkers owned ferrets, it all made sense."
– benloe7
Special Delivery
"I used to go to a comic shop. And the comic shop owner knew all of the gossip in the area. Nice dude. Remembers all of his regulars and asks about you if he hasn’t seen you in awhile to check in on people. Lot of people in the area grew up with his shop. So he’s got stories."
"Anyways he told us about this story from some years back about this regular. Who disappeared for a few months. Comes back one day. And the shop owner asks him, 'hey, man. Haven’t seen you in awhile?' Kind of like where have you been. The regular was like oh I’ve been getting divorced. I had to move it was a whole thing."
"So naturally the shop owner asks. 'Why are you divorcing your wife?' The regular caught his wife cheating."
"He had picked up a 2nd part time job as pizza delivery man because he was trying to fund to take his wife on her dream vacation. All of the money he earned from that job was supposed to go into that vacation. He had been working this job for like 6 months. It was a whole secret. She didn’t know he was doing that for her. Because he was trying to surprise her."
"He was the pizza delivery man at the motel. She was cheating at him with. The dude she was cheating on him with answered the door with her right next to him."
"He apparently didn’t even go back to the pizza place. He quit on the spot. Went home. Packed his sh*t and left town."
– TheMysticalPlatypus
Those who are unfaithful in their relationships may think they're good enough for more than one person, but they're usually not.
And while you may not believe in it, there's something called karma, and watching it enact justice can be extremely gratifying.
If you were the one being cheated on, know that the person with whom you've fallen in love is not the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with and there will always be a better human who will respect you and love you.
And if you were the cheater, watch your back. Because whether you believe in it or not, karma's coming for ya.
Food trends are not so very different from fashion trends, constantly evolving and quickly becoming outdated or passé.
Can you think of the last time you were served ambrosia at a dinner party?
Or have you noticed how anything featuring kale is now met with an eye roll rather than excitement?
Of course, some food trends tend to last longer than others.
Even if many people wish that they would also become extinct... the sooner the better!
Redditor Prestigious-Humor872 was eager to hear all the food trends people wished would die out, and fast, leading them to ask:
"What modern food trend can you not wait to die?"
Less Isn't Always More...
"2 ingredient desserts (with 7 'optional' ingredients that appear once you read the actual recipe)."- strawberry-emma
You Pay For The Experience
"Food trucks that charge the same price as a premium restaurant but serve half the size on a floppy plate that I have to stand up to eat."- thorn_10
"Food trucks."
"Weren’t they supposed to serve cheaper food because of lower overhead?"
"No brick and mortar?"
"We have a lobster roll truck-pulled by a Range Rover- that shows up for lunch and charges $22 for one entree."
"Ridiculous."- tizzymyers·
GiphyChoice Of Words...
"Calling a slight alteration to a recipe a 'hack'."
"Adding parmesan cheese to your grilled cheese sandwich is not a 'hack'."
"It's a minor recipe change."- No_Pear_2326
Jumping The Gun A Bit...
"If I'm on a website I'm only there to look at your menu."
"I'm not interested in starting an order before I've looked at the menu."
"No, I don't want to give you my zip code."
"Just give me your menu and some food pictures."- DueRest
Staying Humble?
"Fancy restaurants that say they serve 'street tacos' and proceed to charge $18 for three."- Chipwich75
T-Bell Yes GIF by Taco BellGiphyThere's A Reason We're Told Not To Play With Our Food...
"The stupid food wasting trends on YouTube and TikTok etc."- fluffernuttersndwch
Presentation Is Key...
"For some reason putting food in wine glasses."- Ralphroberts603
"Restaurants serving food on cutting boards, shovels, paper, shells, or anything that is not an actual plate."- Funny_Disaster1002
meat grill GIF by Gifs LabGiphyRemember The Golden Arches And The Red Roofs?
"Making all fast food buildings look like cookie-cutter beige/grey boxes."
"They all used to have their own distinct personalities."- mattnotis
There's Economizing, And Then There's Jusy Poor Hygeine...
"The videos of people making food in sinks."
"Gross."- h20rabbit
Is It Even Still A Secret After 100 Thousand Views?
"Any TikTok/IG trend that makes life more difficult for fast-food workers with overly complex orders or ordering stuff not on the menu or trying to 'one up' each others orders etc."- HiThisIsMichael
bored fast food GIF by Zaxby'sGiphyMaybe It Gives Them Incentive?
"Tipping as an option BEFORE receiving good service."- mytimeis2044
Sweet Tooth? Or Cavity Express?
"Sweets on top of sweets."
"A milkshake with a donut, lollipop, and cupcake attached."- Marleygem
Technology Slowly Taking Our Jobs...
"I just went to a restaurant, not a fast food place, a sit-down restaurant where you have to scan the QR code for the menu, then a screen pops up where you have to place your own order."
"No one comes to the table to answer questions, nothing."
"You place your order, a person comes by and throws your drinks at you. "
"Then they swing by a while later and throw your food at you."
"That’s all you see of them."
"You pay your bill on your phone, and are still expected to tip."- Megmuffin102
Saint Urbain Website GIF by Front of HouseGiphyBe it in presentation, cooking style, or flavor profile, people will likely always try to make food "cool" in truly bizarre ways.
Sometimes ignoring that the only thing that should truly matter is whether or not it tastes good.
At least people have finally realized that kale doesn't need to be added to everything!
For now, at least...