There's always a way out... if you know what to offer.
Redditor PancakeSam_ asked today's burning question: "Police of Reddit, what bribes do you get offered most often? And for what offences?"
Turns out there's a variety, but are you surprised?
"We kept asserting that we were not arresting him..."
I worked as an EMT in my younger days and we came across this very drunk gentleman one day and put him in the back. (In my state it's legal to take custody of patients who are not alert and oriented) the patient in question thought we were cops because our uniforms were similar and he thought he was getting arrested for drunk and disorderly so he tried offering us the rest of his booze and $12 to let him go. We kept asserting that we were not arresting him and we were taking him to the hospital to sober up so he didn't walk into traffic like he was about to do.
"Stopped a car late one night..."
Stopped a car late one night for failure to maintain lane. Given the time, etc, I had expected to find a DUI.
Approached the passenger side window, talked briefly, and discovered they were indeed all on the way home from a club, with a stop at a conveniece store for food on the way.
The driver, though, was their DD, and not impaired at all. She was just distracted by the party atmosphere in the car.
In the lap of the front seat passenger was their convenience store bag. She started trying to make me a sandwich out of bologna, mustard, and a loaf of white bread.
"News flash..."
"You can keep it if you just let me go!"
"It" referring to various narcotics - baggie of heroin, little crack rock, jar of bud.
News flash: I'm keeping it as evidence and you're going to county.
"Everyone knows those..."
Cash for speeding offences. Everyone knows those soft plastic holders for your ownership and insurance? Well, people like to hand those over with cash stuck in them. I always make people take their documentation out of the plastic holder and hand it to me so this doesn't happen. Never have I, nor would I ever take it. It pisses me off when people do this. Do you really think I am going to abandon all my morals and job for $50? It is usually people that have come from outside of North American who do this. It might be acceptable there, but not here. Also for those that are about to ask why I don't charge them for trying to offering me a bribe, reasonable doubt is a b!tch.
"Most bizarre one..."
Giphy
Someone already mentioned the most common one for me, which would be "you can keep the drugs/cash".
Most bizarre one would be from an offender who owned a taco shop and offered me free tacos for life if I looked the other way.
"But the one I've had a few times..."
Honestly there are waaaay more threats than there are bribes. But the one I've had a few times is money in lieu of DUI stuff.
"I had three stages of dealing with bribes..."
Never had any bribes offered when I was a cop. Got plenty of offers as a correctional officer. Mostly it was commissary (Ramen soups, honey buns, etc) and in return they'd ask for things like food from staff dining, getting moved to other housing sections or other cells, or for me to bring in cigarettes for them. I had one guy offer to wire me a few thousand dollars if I would bring a message to his wife.
I had three stages of dealing with bribes:
- "Nah, man, I'm good." If they pressed the matter, it became
- "No, I never take things from inmates." if they insisted, it was then
- "Okay, I don't feel like writing a report tonight if I don't have to. So, we're both going to pretend you were just joking. Because if you try to bribe me one more time, I'm writing you up and throwing you in the hole, and you might even catch another case. So you might want to shut up and walk away."
- Never got past stage 3.
"I had one gal in my office..."
As a Loss Prevention Officer, I apprehend and prosecute shoplifters. I had one gal in my office handcuffed and yelling at me. She was very dirty, smelly, and what looked to be sticky. I ignored her and continued to type my report while waiting for the police to arrive. While typing my report, she stops yelling and without skipping a beat, says very sexually, "I'll blow you if you let me go." I said "Ewwww, sit back and shut up." I've been bribed many things, but that was nasty.
"I was once offered porn level sex..."
I was once offered porn level sex with one of the hottest women I have ever known. Arguably the hottest woman I have ever known. I knew who she was too since a couple of friends of mine had slept with her. She was drunk. I walked back to the car and called for a female patrol to handle the remainder of the traffic stop, FSTs etc. I was still pulled off the road for a couple weeks for an investigation but was commended for not giving in.
"Had a guy who stole a car..."
Had a guy who stole a car offer me a McDonald's monopoly free French fry if I would just let me him go. Also if I just called his father, Tony the Tiger, he would be able to clear everything up.
"I've been threatened at least three dozen times."
In my fourteen years of police work, no one has ever offered me a bribe. I've seen a DUI suspect offer to give oral sex to a coworker. The offer was politely refused.
I've been threatened at least three dozen times. I've received death threats, threats of non-fatal violence, threats to have me fired, threats to rape me, threats that someone's god would curse me, and threats of lawsuits. Unless this is a very strange afterlife, no one has ever followed through on any of them.
"5 years on."
Giphy
5 years on. One lady in a very joking manner said, "Can't I just buy you lunch or something?". I politely refused. That was the only time I've ever been propositioned in any way on the job. I must be hideous.
A cop friend of mine and his partner pulled a guy over for DUI and the guy offered him 10 bucks to "forget the whole thing."
He said "I've already called it in, and besides, I'd have to split that ten with my partner. If you're going to try to bribe me, at least make it more than five dollars!"
He didn't charge him with attempted bribery, because it would be hard to prove that he wasn't joking.
"He wasn't charged."
My SO's grandfather had to have his license revoked recently. He tried bribing the lady at the DMV.
He slid a hundo across to her and said, "How much is this gonna cost to get it taken care of?"
He wasn't charged. Had no business driving. Does not have his license now.
"To this day..."
Not a cop, but my brother is a TSA agent who had this story to tell. He once had to screen Justin Bieber as the kid was going through LAX. The kid really wanted to bring his soda from In-N-Out through the checkpoint. Even though he was going on a private jet which had sodas already on the plane, he wanted to bring that specific soda with him. No fluids over 3.4 ounces.
"I'll sing you a song if you let me keep it."
To this day, we're still not sure if he was trying to bribe a federal employee, or if he was just threatening to subject everyone in the terminal to his "music."
"Back in the early 2000s..."
Not me but my dad's best friend was a cop for like 40 years. Back in the early 2000s he pulled over a car with 4 chicks where the driver was drunk and they offered him group sex if he didn't give the driver a DWI.
"When I was in college..."
When I was in college, and frankly much better looking, and still struggling with a lot of mental health issues, I got pulled over for speeding. I was broke and it was a hefty ticket. I was drunk and didn't want him checking so I offered the (MUCH OLDER) officer a handjob if he let me off. He looked around for cameras, pulled out his penis, and predictably asked me to use my mouth after barely the first tug. I swallowed and he left me his number and drove off.
Never called him. I tried flashing a different officer another time but he was super gay so I ended up looking like a fool that time.
"I work in corrections..."
I work in corrections at our local county jail in the booking/intake section. A female doctor whom was arrested for DWI and would not be seeing a magistrate until the following morning, she missed the days cut off time and would have to wait another 24 hrs, got on her knees and loudly yelled "Who's d**k do I have to suck to get out of jail!?!?!" Not mine that's for sure, lol.
