
"Secrets, secrets, are no fun. Secrets, secrets, hurt someone." A silly rhyme made famous by The Office, its lesson still holds up. People keep secrets because they're afraid once the secret gets out someone will get hurt. Typically, they overestimate the amount. No one's going to care you stole gum when you were 5-years-old.
However, these are not those kinds of secrets.
Well, not all of them.
Reddit user, u/MoistPotatoPeel, wanted the sauciest secrets when they asked:
What is the biggest/longest secret you've kept?
Jealousy Breeds Action
I killed my best friends fish while watching it for her while she was on vacation. Then I replaced it with a fish that looked nothing like it and told everyone that they were crazy for thinking that it wasn't the same fish.
Edit- it was accidental, and the fishes were the same type of fish but they just didn't look the same. i also watched it for two weeks and it just happened to die on the last day. And to top it off the fish that I bought to replace the other one died a week later.
so concluding RIP Jackie O'Conner (yes, she actually named her fish that)
A Horrifying Find
My sister's cat died during the night a couple days ago, and I'm the one who found her in the morning. I lied to my sister about how I found her. I said she was lying on the ground and possibly had a heart attack (which would explain her eyes being wide open, I couldn't close them).
I actually found her trapped, under the dining table, hanging between two chairs with her front legs, with her head back. She must have fallen and couldn't free herself (she didn't have good control of her claws anymore). She looked like Jesus on the cross, completely stiff from rigor mortis. I was f-cking horrified and still can't get the image out of my head. It hurts me so much to know that her last moments were of suffering. I now can't ever tell my sister how it really happened.
Edit: To slightly soften the story, she was a very old cat, about to turn 20 years old. What was unbelievable was that it was on the morning of the day we had booked a vet appointment to put her to sleep. My sister actually feels relief that she died 'naturally' rather than being taken to a strange place she didn't know. I can't share the same sentiment, sadly, but I'm just relieved that she is relieved.
Unable To Complete A Last Request
I have a relative who committed suicide, and next to their note, they left a small stack of things they wanted to be buried with. Several days after the funeral, the director of the funeral home called my mom and let her know that sadly, the items my relative wanted to be buried with did not get put in the coffin.
It happens sometimes, and he told mom that they try to contact the family member who seems least likely to lose their sh-t over it. I'm paraphrasing of course, but my mom was the perfect person; the woman is unflappable. Mom went up to the funeral home and they returned the items to her.
She told me the story once, and that nobody in the family knew, but that she wanted me to know where the items were in case she passed before she found an appropriate time to give the items to my relative's kids (it was some photographs of my relative with family and friends, and then a wedding ring).
The kids were very young so it wasn't appropriate for her to give it to them at the time. It's been well over 20 years, and I don't think she has ever passed the things on. We have never discussed it again, and I haven't ever told anyone. One day I am sure I'll have to have that conversation with one or both of my relative's kids, but until then, this is the only time I've said anything about it.
Two People Stuck In A Trap
That my mother was abusive to me as a kid. I kept it for 22 years. I told my dad a few months back. I told him in anger because I blamed him for letting it happen.
He truly didn't know the extent, she kept it well hidden.
He then explained to me that he tried to protect me from her and he did when he was around. He told me he'd been in an abusive relationship with her. She separated him from every friend and family member he had. She took his entire paycheck and wouldn't let him have a card.
She told him he couldn't leave her because she'd never allow him to see me again.
My dads not perfect and he left me in dangerous situations but he tried at least. And now both of our 20+ year secrets are out to each other.
The Most Heinous Crime...For A 7 Year-Old
I loaned a bunch of books from the Library in 2001 (as a 7 year old). Found them in my room 3 years later. My 10 year old mind was convinced the cops would come looking for me cause of it so I neatly disposed of the books in a manner that will ensure they'll never be found again.
Unless someone cleans up the basement... well, time to visit my parents.
A Ticking Deadline
The most recent one. I dropped out of university 3 months ago and my parents don't know... I'm planning on moving out in 2/3 weeks because that's how long I have before everything comes out (probably, if I don't make something else up)... I'm at square zero on my plan to move but honestly I can't live here anymore.
I'm 'the smart one' so they wouldn't guess I'd actually drop out despite it being overwhelmingly obvious... It was a pretty drastic decision, but I don't regret it... I do have a few options on how to move my plan forward in such a short time, and I do have some pretty drastic measures too, but the end goal is clear and I'll get there, no matter what... Wish me luck
Keeping The End At Bay
I've been suicidal for most of my life - starting from when I began to develop OCD as a child.
The feeling has not gone away since and I'm now 22. The only people who know this about me are the few counsellors I have seen - not a single family member or friend because I know they will overreact.
Dad Doesn't Need To Know Right Now
That I knew my mom was having an affair when I was 11. My dad found out a year later and they got a divorce but I acted like I was shocked. I'm 23 now and only came clean last year
A Family Member Out Of The Blue
My 2 cousins have a brother somewhere. My aunt had gotten pregnant before she married my uncle and gave the baby up for adoption.
I've never mentioned it to anyone until now, so it's been almost 20 years.
Turns Out You Can Pick Your Family
I've never told anyone outside of my family about my dad. I told all my friends that my stepdad was actually my real dad, when my real dad lives on the other side of the planet (I moved countries when I was a kid, and have only really seen my dad once since then).
My real dad was an actual piece of sh-t, he abused and manipulated, both me, my mother and all four of my brothers, and would lash out all the time through a drunken rage. And so, when my mum remarried, my steep-dad became a real father to me, and so I always just called him by my dad. It's probably not the biggest secret, but its something I have just never really told people.
A Lie For The Years
I had once told my friend in the 7th grade I had a girlfriend and it went on until the 10th grade when I actually got a girlfriend. All my friends were 'pleased' to meet her finally.
A Bonding Experience?
My ex admitted to me that he watched porn with his mom as an adult. They would watch porn when they were bored, in the living room, while his father/her husband slept upstairs.
I was mortified. I asked him if he felt any way about it, and he said he thought it was funny. Not funny as in disturbing. But "hahaha" funny. He thought I was weird for finding it weird.
I broke up with him shortly after that for this reason, but never told anyone about it until now.
No, No, I Promise! I Was Cleaning It!
This is not as serious as the other stories I've seen so far but it is one of my most closely guarded secrets. I currently have a deep scar on my left index finger, it has been there since middle School when I was messing around with a knife and a sweet potato. My mindset was, "if I lightly chop the sweet potato while holding it with my unprotected hand, nothing bad could happen."
Lo and behold, I was rushed to the E.R. with a cut so deep, I legitimately thought I almost amputated the finger. The circumstances behind this were so embarrassing, I quickly made up a story about me cleaning the knife and the knife slipping and slicing my finger. To this day, I still tell my family that it was a knife cleaning accident.
How Do You Go To Reunions?
My sister told me a few years ago that she and our cousin had a sexual relationship that started when they were in their 20s and continued on and off for years. In that time they both married other people who never suspected a thing because, you know: cousins.
This was not a cousin she met in adulthood and didn't feel related to. We grew up seeing him and his family once or twice a year.
Ratted Out By The Mom
I was touring Australia for six months with my girl friend Jan who's twin sister had lost her son to cot death a few months before we left. Jan was devastated but still really wanted to go to Oz with me. Her twin sis had given birth to a second son about three months after the death and when we left for down under the boy was about three months old and a big focus of love for everyone after the shock of the cot death.
Every week Jan would ring home and talk to her mother. At the end of the second week the mother asked to speak to me. This was unusual. We did not have much to say to each other normally so I was surprised. It turns out she wanted me to know the second son had been diagnosed with Leukemia, but whatever happened I should not tell Jan as it would spoil her holiday.
She was right that it would devastate Jan and that she would want to leave at once, and to be honest there was nothing she could have done even had she returned.
So I sat on this awful news for nearly six months. To make it worse her mother told her on our return that I knew about the diagnosis from the start, so it was one of those circumstances where you can never win.
We're Less Related Than You Think
My "half brother" isn't actually related to me at all. Because my dad's ex wife cheated on him and got pregnant. Everyone knows but my half brother.
Wrongfully Framed
My house was raided for child pornography.
Agents came through, searched every room, collected every storage device and questioned me. I promptly said I would not talk without a lawyer.
My wife was bawling, I told her to not talk without a lawyer. After an about four hours all of the agents left with every electronic device. Then they handed me the warrant.
Apparently my IP address was detected.
After counseling and a lot of communication my wife and I agreed to not tell anyone about this. Not family, not friends, no one. We moved from the house because it just made us uneasy being there.
After THREE years of fighting with the agency we finally got all of our devices back. The devices they took were the only copies of all of our photos, so it was one of the happiest days ever. It turns out one of our neighbors was using our WiFi (which had an easy 8 letter lower case password). Once they didn't find anything on our devices they did a search of the neighbor.
TLDR - use a good WiFi password or bad sh-t can happen
Dating and the search for love and companionship... What a nightmare.
This journey plays out nothing like in the movies.
Every Prince or Princess (or everything in BTW) seems to have a touch of the psycho.
The things people say during what should be simple dinner conversation can leave a dining partner aghast.
Like... do you hear you?
Redditor detroit_michigldan wanted to discuss all the best ways to crash and burn when trying to make a romantic connection. They asked:
"You're on a date and it's going really great. What can another person say to ruin it completely?"
I once had a guy ask me if I was willing to follow him into the woods, depending on the price of the meal.
Yeah. No steak is worth that.
Plans After...
"Thanks for the ride but I have a date with someone else, I figured you wouldn't drive me if you knew I was going on a date with someone else and I really needed a ride."
"Online dating, talked to her for a while, finally got the courage to ask her out and then she said that as we got there."
iareyours
Mirror Image
“'You look just like my wife!'”
catalinachild
"I did have a guy tell me I reminded him of his son. I don’t believe English has a word to adequately describe my feelings at that time."
UnicornMagicRainbow
"That would definitely do it."
chaotica78
Third Wheel
"'Hope you don't mind if my mother joins us.'"
ofsquire
"Actually had a girl do this on a first date because she had anxiety issues. Honestly wasn’t bad except that 90% of the time she was silent and her mom talked over her."
"I didn’t mind that much and wouldn’t have minded trying again when she was more comfortable except that she was let go at the company we worked at and she deleted her social media profiles and she never responded on her number. Ah well."
Seightx
Liar
"'Hey bro aren't you gay? I made out with you last night.'"
"Random dude I've never seen before in front of my (f) date."
JHXC16
Was he lying though?
Filter Issues
"'You looked better on Tinder.'"
waqasnaseem07
"Isn’t it basic knowledge that everybody looks slightly worse than the worst picture you can find?"
no_user_ID_found
The Past
"'My ex used to do that too.'"
xxIvyOF
"Yep. I’ve definitely had two otherwise-decent-guy date-situations sour because the ex-comparisons just would not stop flowing. No woman wants to be seen as interchangeable—I’m not here to perfectly fill that ex-sized hole in your life. Focusing on the present moment and a future we could build together is a courtesy we need to grant each other in earliest dates of dating."
LarkScarlett
Powerless
"'I'm an alpha, you cant handle my top energy.'"
Midnightgay28
"I actually left a dude in the middle of dinner, in part, for saying this. I ordered an Uber under the table while pretending to listen to him. Went to the bathroom, and never came back. That was when I was young. Now I’d just say, 'How about we enjoy this meal in silence, before we head our separate ways.'”
UnicornMagicRainbow
Mommy...
"'Mother says I should be back by 9.'"
"Saying 'mother says' just feels weird."
bunnyrut
"That gives me Norman Bates vibes."
Werewolf_lover20
"'Mother says alligators are aggressive because they have an overabundance of teeth, but lack a toothbrush.'"
sodaextraiceplease
Obvs...
"'If you were going to be murdered, what method would you prefer. Purely hypothetical. Obvs.'"
Specific_Tap7296
If it looks anything like a Dateline NBC episode... RUN!
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Despite the advancement of technology rendering people left to their own devices–literally–to entertain them, there are some leisurely activities that will never go out of style.
Or so you would think.
Do people still knit to pass the time? Are people actively collecting stamps?
It depends on who's asking.
Curious to hear about hobby trends, Redditor gizehgizeh asked:
"What are once popular hobbies that are slowly dying these days?"

Before we've become conditioned to living on our phones, these activities used to keep people occupied.
Before Texting, There Was This
"Letter writing."
– littlekingMT
Literal And Tangible Joy
"Well the internet killed pen pals for sure. I do remember I had a Japanese girl for a penpal maybe back in 2007 or so. I honestly don't remember how it started, pretty sure some website, but that was a fun experience. But now I can just straight up talk to foreign people real time, lol. But yea getting a physical letter that someone took the time to write and mail still is hard to beat feelings wise."
– skyburnsred
Model Trains
"When I was growing up, every town had a model train store in it. Now I have one in region and everything else has to be bought online."
– Hairy_Effective1172
Pretty Rocks
"Don’t see anyone playing marbles anymore, I had an awesome collection in school."
– sheeple85
"I had some marbles as a kid in the 90s. My grandma got them for me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. I always imagined them as a thing kids in the 40s played with."
– Ryoukugan
People Were Moving Canvases
"Paintball has been dying a slow death since 2006. Sad, really."
– hobo_recycler
Before the general population began hating clutter, collecting was once a "thing."
Precious Coins
"Coin collecting... I'm a silver/gold nut and I'm always hunting for precious metal coins. whenever I go into a shop they get all excited because 'no one under 70 collects coins anymore.'"
– ThatFishySmell99
Post It
"Stamp collecting."
– spooky_scully_mulder
"Collecting in general, really. Of course there are still prominent collectors but it's slipped more into enthusiast and niche territory than being a popular hobby that you might expect anyone to have."
– iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
What A Gem
"Rockhounding was immensely popular back in the 1950's and 1960's. Personally, I think it's a fascinating and fulfilling hobby, but when I go to a meeting at a rock and gem club, I'm usually the youngest one in the room by several decades."
– filthy_lucre
People once enjoyed making things.
Admiring The View
"Stained glass. I learned how to make it from my old man, and my junior high art class teacher also taught it. Very few artisans are still around."
– brobeanzhitler
Metal Vocation
"Black smithing."
– kenworth117
"I bought a forge to try. It’s insanely hard work, and crazy expensive. I still haven’t finished a piece."
– DSentvalue
Scrapbooking
"Yeah. I'm watching the arts and crafts stores around me completely uninstalling their racks for specialty paper. Now the only thing they have is mega packs of repeating colors/images. To boot all the inclusions like papercraft/die-cut things, washi tape, scissors, stickers, etc have gotten so expensive I would rather go buy $5 bags at value village to get an assortment of things versus buying anything new. I really, really miss yard sales for the same reasons."
– Phantasmai
I envy people who have jobs that are basically their hobbies.
Not everyone gets paid doing what they actually enjoy and have a profound level of passion for.
If they do, kudos to them.
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When we first meet someone–whether through mutual friends, at school, or in a new work setting–we generally feel people out to determine if they're worth getting to know.
While the process could take time, some people make our jobs much easier after spotting instant red flags.
Curious to hear about our general radar of people, Redditor xxFluffie asked:
"What is something that makes you immediately dislike someone?"

Some people just think they are absolutely hilarious and never realize they're the only ones laughing.
Next In Line
"They laugh about having screwed someone else over. If you think you're not next, well, you'll learn."
– whiznat
Unfunny
"when you mention you don't like a thing and they immediately do that thing 'as a joke.'"
– wayfinder
Playing Devil's Advocate
"Kneejerk contrarians. People who, no matter what you say you like or believe, just have to dismiss it and say they like or think the opposite."
– BubbhaJebus
People who put others down get slammed here.
Bad Parents
"When they treat their kids sh**ty in public. I don't mean handling tantrums, setting a rule, having to hurry to the train etc. I mean perfectly normal-behaved kids getting in trouble for trailing along peacefully, looking at things, asking questions etc."
"If you don't like tiny humans who learn the world, why have them??"
– raxeira-etterath
Public Humiliation
"Treating people sh**ty in public for laughs. Like being rude to service workers because they think it’s funny. Big red flag."
– Ok_Personality_1080
Simply Uncalled For
"Someone who is a d*ck to other people or animals for no reason."
– xebt1000
Those with ulterior motives rubs people the wrong way.
The Scheme
"If they try to get me to join their MLM scheme."
– spazmcgee1
Hard Sell
"A guy I used to be friends with in high school reached out a couple of years after graduating about a business opportunity he wanted my opinion on because 'you've always been smart', then he set up a Skype call and brought some other dude into the call and they started trying to sell me on what was clearly an MLM scheme. The guy went from friend to 'I'm never talking to you again' in a matter of 10 minutes."
– Mental-Afternoon-164
A Timeline
"Good gawd, this! I've had more than one exposure to this abject bullsh**tery..."
- Back in the late 80's/early 90's I was invited to a meeting of literally the OG "Pyramid" where you're recruited to pay in, and then you go out and recruit others to pay in, and the last in line got f'kall.
- In 1995 I had a coworker try to reel me into Amway, which was a hard no.
- In 2000 it was Pampered Chef, though to be fair they did have useful products.
- In 2009 a coworker tried to get me into some stupid video calling service that was obviously stupid from the description. He even got offended when I called bullsh*t.
– Mystical_Cat
Too much ego is a no-go.
I Can Do Better
"Being a b*tch just to stroke their own ego."
"We get it, you can lift 5lbs more than the 12 year old, you don't have to rub it in their face just because you're slightly better"
– Livia_Pivia
Can't Top This
"Oh, you did <story that's been told>? That's nothing! I did <implausible story>.
"I get the whole empathy through relating common experience, and I'm someone who does that (which drives some people crazy on its own), but there's a big different by empathising through common experience, and one-upmanship."
– Tisarwat
Lacking Conversational Etiquette
"Starting to talk over me when I was already talking."
"Stop it you rude, arrogant jerk."
– R33Gtst
If one or more of these traits sound familiar to you, you're not alone.
We don't have time for braggadocios, pyramid-schemers, and conversation interrupters.
And that's just for starters.
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Children tend to believe just about anything they hear.
That there are monsters under your bed, watching too much TV will make your head explode, and silly faces will be permanent if you make them too often.
The sky is truly the limit when it comes to silly things that children will believe.
Some call it naivitée, other's youthful innocence.
But it's hard not to look back with embarrassment on certain things we believed as a child, that today might simply seem dumb.
Redditor Disastrous_Toe_6548 was curious to learn the multitude of silly things people believed when they were children, leading them to ask:
"What's the dumbest thing you believed as a kid?"
Pleading to deaf ears...
"My dad told me he had hearing loss and couldn't hear me if I whined because my pitch would get too high."
"Would completely ignore me until I asked him questions in a normal voice."
"Trusted him implicitly until I was 12 and he yelled at my younger brother for whining."- Tyrion_Stark.
Get it while you can.
"That they took everything off the shelves when the supermarket closed."- fgyfddg.
Silly superstitions.
"My grandfather used to tell me that if I played with the fire, I'd pee the bed."
"I believed him for a while, until I got older."
"I think he was just trying to protect me from the fire."- teddypa1981.
"Rain, rain go away..."
"That if it was raining where I was, it was raining everywhere in the world."- morningshartz.
Age is just a number.
"My parents used to seem really old to me, so much so I believed they grew up like cave people as children, wearing giant leaves for clothes and what not."- Laleena_.
So that's how they're made!
"That smokestacks from the power plant created clouds."- Scaniarix.
An instant cure.
"The sun gives you sunburns, therefore, moonlight should heal them."- velocipeter.
Better safe than sorry.
"Don't drink and drive meant all drinks."
"My dad was super confused when I told him he wasn't allowed to have any soda until we got home."- hulagirlslovetoparty.
Don't believe everything you see on TV.
"There was an episode of Mickey Mouse where Mickey couldn’t reach something at first, so he tried again and somehow his arm was long enough to reach it."
"As a small kid I believed that if I couldn’t reach something, I should just try reaching for it again and my arm would then somehow be long enough to reach it."- That-Dutch-Person.
The miracle of childbirth.
"That babies are pooped out."
"When I was like 7 I was listening to my aunt as she explained that childbirth was pretty intense and painful for her, and I was all solemnly like, 'yeah, sometimes just my poops are painful, I don’t think I could get a baby out' and she went 'um, WHAT?' and her reaction made me realize real quick that I had f*cked up somewhere and I tried to change the subject while my mind was just reeling lol."- thesoundingfurrows.
Oh to be a child again.
And to believe literally everything you're told.
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