Guys, I was an awkward kid. Shocking, I know. I was the kid who crushed way too hard and had no poker face about it. When I say I had no poker face I mean I made it weird with the constant staring, the swooning, etc. It was bad enough that the first (and only) song ever dedicated to me was a song telling the other person to go away.
Um ... ouch.
Yeah... so that's what happened when I caught by biggest crush. Reddit user SwiperNoSwiping42 asked
And yeah, some of these stories are just as awkward as mine. Some are heartbreaking. Overall, it's pretty clear that major crushes have huge impacts on people's lives... and awkwardness levels. I don't know where you are, Jason ... but my bad. I made it weird. 7th grade was intense.
A Golden Child
Oh man, this question breaks my heart. My biggest crush was a close family friend all through junior high and high school. He was a golden child. Good looking, charismatic, very intelligent (ended up getting a doctorate), and good person to boot. He was way out of my social circle and never interested in me, but he was always kind and considerate, when others weren't. Our families were out at the lake once, and I got stuck on a raft fair enough away from shore I didn't think I could make it back in as I was a weak swimmer, and was nearly in tears. He swam back with me, encouraging me all the way and helping me find the shallows where I could wade back.
He died of brain cancer when we were in our 30's. It just kills me to think about it.
Still Gives Me ButterfliesGiphy
My husband. We first met when we were about 15 and liked each other a lot but he moved away before we could ever act on it. Over the years I would run into him occasionally when he came to visit friends in the city. It was always electric, and I was SO into him, but I was too shy to make a move.
Finally, eleven years after we first met I found him on Facebook, we started talking and fell in love. We've been together almost ten years now, have two kids together and he still gives me butterflies.
It Literally Hurt
I had a crush on a girl for two years from when I was 11-12 and never acted on it (because i was a kid) it was a very strange two years. I haven't had a crush in over 6 years and that crush was easily the strongest. I remember it literally hurting because I liked her that much. Kid me was weird.
Does a crush entirely made up of memories of the past count?
In third grade, I had a crush on a girl in my class. We had a great time playing soccer at recess every day, we even held hands once! Then after that year I moved away, but I never forgot, and the crush probably grew even bigger over the years.
Long story short, I found her on Facebook, and sent her a message. She did not remember me at all. Even remembered the class and the school, but not me. So yeah, there was that.
I had a crush on a girl that I was friends with for about a year when I was 15 but I didn't say anything. Turns out she was gay and we became really close friends and I didn't have to say anything. So win win!
Crushing Pretty Hard
I've had a few crushes in my teens, but right now at 28 I'm crushing pretty hard on this new girl at the office. She's gorgeous and kind and sweet and funny and outgoing and always has time to talk to me. Her smile lights up the room, and when she laughs at one of my jokes I feel lighter than air.
Even if she wasn't way out of my league (which she is), she has a boyfriend who she loves very much, and I'm a big believer in love so I'd never get in the way of it. Sometimes it hurts, but I'm mostly just happy to have her as a friend and I'm happy that she's in a loving relationship
Life As A Preteen
I'm in the midst of one right now. I haven't had a full-on "crush" since 5th grade. It's oddly thrilling and disturbing as an adult. The maddening omnipresence of his smile in my head is no different than life as a preteen.
Trophy Of ShameGiphy
I'm crushing pretty hard right now. I'm 31 and IT at a medical school. She is a 24 year old dental student. When she smiles her eyes turn into little moons. Her eyes sparkle. I don't know if they naturally sparkle for everybody or only towards me (god i hope!), but they sparkle. I bought a tooth plushie for her for Christmas with a cheese ass note that says something like you're the reason smiles are merry and white. It's so cheesy I don't even want to read it again. I never gave it to her and it still sits on my desk right here. It is my trophy of shame. A reminder to not be a fool. I don't need to be harassing and distracting hard working students.
That Ending, Though...
In junior high I had a huge crush on this one blonde girl who I'll call Liz. She had just transferred to the school in seventh grade and was one of a handful of new girls that year (it was a relatively small, co-ed private school).
Pretty much every class had assigned seating, determined by the teachers. We had a few classes together and just so happened to have our assigned seats right next to each other in those classes, so we'd either be sitting across from each other or right in front of/behind each other. We got along great and occasionally got called out by teachers for talking/joking/laughing in the middle of class. This was back when AIM was all the rage in the early 2000s, so we'd often chat in the evenings because we liked a lot of the same bands, etc.
Never really confessed my crush to her that first year. The next year, eighth grade, I got a big boost of confidence when another lady friend I often goofed around with in class spontaneously told me, "you got really hot over the summer," and started asking me if I was into one of a few girls she listed off, indicating they thought I was cute and they were interested. Unfortunately, that list didn't include Liz.
Still, I "dated" some other girls (as much as a 13-14 year old "dates") from other schools in the area and I guess about halfway through the year I finally told Liz that I had a crush on her. She hadn't dated anyone in the entire time I had known her, so I thought hey, maybe I have a shot.
Unfortunately, the feeling wasn't mutual. I was pretty disappointed, but we remained good friends and nothing about our friendship ended up changing. We still talked a lot and would sometimes be the class clowns on a given day, which often ended with our teachers separating us in the classroom. One instance that got me kicked out of class was when we were passing notes back and forth to each other (she was sitting at the desk behind me) with stupid/silly shit on them with the sole purpose of annoying our teacher, who was a middle-aged woman. At one point the teacher calls me out for handing the note but doesn't say anything about Liz. After a couple minutes when the teacher turned her back, Liz hands me a note that says something like, "Why is she singling you out? Am I invisible?" And I handed a note back to her that said, "I think she's into me. You got some competition."
Of course, right when I handed that note to Liz and right as she was reading it, the teacher called me out again, walked over to Liz, grabbed the note and was about to do the usual thing where the teacher reads it aloud to the class to embarrass the guilty students and put a stop to it. Knowing what the note said, though, Liz immediately started bursting out laughing, the teacher stopped herself from reading it and then sent me to the principal's office.
After junior high, Liz ended up going to an all-girls high school and we pretty much fell out of contact about halfway through freshman year. Even though I did all the usual high school social events, like football games and dances and stuff, I never saw her at any of them. I dated quite a few girls over the course of my high school years, lost my virginity, etc.
Fast forward to my senior year. I go to a football game with a group of my friends and end up running into her randomly. We immediately get so distracted talking and catching up that we don't realize our groups of friends had left us and moved on somewhere else. We exchange numbers and agree to hang out some time soon and went our separate ways for the evening. At the time, I honestly wasn't actively hoping we'd date or hook up. I mean, I was certainly fond of the idea, but truthfully I was just kind of happy to reconnect with a friend I hadn't seen or spoken to in so long.
The next week, we agree to hang out and go to the football game that weekend and then to the inevitable party afterwards at whoever's house it'd be that night. Only problem is, she didn't have a car yet so I told her it'd be no problem and I'd pick her up.
I picked her up and we drove to the game but ended up spending most of the time kind of on our own in the much less crowded areas just talking and laughing. We weren't into the game at all so I suggested we just go to my car and wait for everyone to leave and then drive to the party. As soon as we leave and round a corner completely out of sight from everyone, she pulls on my jacket and starts making out with me.
I was honestly surprised but was obviously quite happy with it. She smiled and laughed shyly after the kiss and I said something like, "13 and 14 year old me would've done anything to kiss you like that when we were in junior high." She thought that was cute and said she had no idea why she turned me down back then. We got to my car and she said she wasn't really interested in going to the party, so I suggested we go to a nearby park and hang out, just the two of us.
We had sex that night. Easily one of the happiest and most fun evenings I've ever had, even to this day, given the context and history between us. We never dated but eh, I was just happy something came of it.
Tough School Year
My eighth grade English teacher. Raging teenage hormones and a hot teacher made for a very tough school year.
When looking at a resume, it's easy to understand how prospective employers will assume someone is very intelligent based on their education and past experience.
But one shouldn't only assume someone's intelligence based on what they read.
More often than not, one can tell rather quickly that someone possesses above-average intelligence, based on how they speak, how they behave, or other telling details.
Redditor PadWanKenobi was curious to hear what people felt were the tell tale signs they were in the company of a possible genius, leading them to ask:
"What’s a sign of extremely high intelligence?"
"Ability to intuitively and quickly understand complex systems and how lots of parts relate in a coherent whole."
"Like I work with some people who just keep tons of concepts in their head and easily integrate new information into their understanding of those concepts."
"They immediately know what questions they should be asking to better understand."
"And these are things they're currently working on, not like things they spent time studying in school over years."
"They just have a very strong ability to synthesize new information into their understanding."
"I sit in meetings distracted and confused having forgotten what we talked about in the previous meetings, and these folks just consistently have a solid handle on everything."- Ok-Control-787
Innate Problem Solvers
"They know when not to solve a problem."
"This took me a while to understand but the smartest people I know do this."
"It could be a really simple thing like ignoring emails from people asking for help."
"The supervisor or boss might have a quick and easy solution for the situation but instead of just handing it to the person that asked they let them figure it out on their own."
"They know who they can do this with and when to do it."
"If they did that with all of their underlings it would just create a mess."
"Another example that I can think of is planned chaos."
"Some people can predict exactly where things will go wrong and they could fix it before it creates a problem."
"They don't because nobody ever notices what's going on in the background when things are working perfectly."
"Once things fails then everybody notices and if you are the one person that fixed it you become the hero."
"They can also use then chaos to reach a goal they couldn't get before if things were working correctly."
"There's many examples of this in every day life that I didn't see before until I realized what was happening."- atapesGiphy
You know what they say about people with small hands
"If your hand is smaller than your face."- FallofTheKnight
The all knowing glow.
"When someone asks you a question and you push your glasses up while light comes out of it and covers your eyes for some reason."- JonEregor
Those giveaway behavioral quirks
"Wearing glasses and saying things like 'ah yes', and 'I see' while you pensively rub your chin."- iuytrefdgh436yujhe2Thinking Reaction GIF by ABC TV + IVIEWGiphy
"When they explain something they make the people around them feel smarter, not dumber."- redkat85
Being one step ahead.
"The capacity to understand complex things, see patterns where regular people don't."- Ostepop234
"They have this tendency to make you go 'Ohhh, why didn't I think of that?' when listening to them talk."- did_it_forthelulzWhy Didnt I Think Of That Cillian Murphy GIFGiphy
An endless love of learning
"A passion for knowledge and expanding understanding of complex concepts."
"The plumber can be just as insightful as the scholar."- KatatoniK94
Of course, one shouldn't always be fooled by what they see.
As many people are masters at appearing much smarter than they are.
In fact, one important sign of super intelligence is being able to separate those who appear smart, from those who actually are.
With each passing year of a marriage, couples will often discover that while they don't love each other any less than they once did, that spark their relationship used to carry has faded.
This will often lead these couples to look for ways to spice things up a bit.
Among the more popular experiments is inviting a third member to their bedroom.
Enticing as this prospect is, however, it's also easy to be intimidated by the reality of it, or even the mere suggestion of it.
"Men, what advice do you have for men whose wives want to bring a third into the bedroom?"
Make sure you want to do it.
"You need to be completely honest with yourself, ask if this is something you want and could live with."- Dame87
Proceed with caution
"It’s like frolicking in a mine field."
"You both better be SUPER into the idea, you can’t have one person who’s reluctantly agreed to go along with it."
"And established rules."
"A threesome sounds like fun and games until you’re watching your partner make faces and sounds that you only thought were for you in your most intimate moments together, and a burning jealousy comes out of nowhere and breaks your heart."
"I’m not saying it’s automatically a bad idea and I know people do polyamory successfully, but dear god be careful."- coleosis1414
Make sure you're an active participant
"I had an ex that was adamant that she wanted to be a swinger or whatever."
"The one time I decided to roll with it, I hit it off immediately with the other dude's girlfriend and had a blast hanging out with her all night."
"The other dude was a total creep, though."
"Also, my ex could not handle the fact that someone else was giving me the slightest bit of attention."
"So, needless to say, that didn't go anywhere."
"Turns out she didn't want to be a swinger, she just wanted to have sex with other people behind my back, which she had no problems whatsoever with."- Ted_Denslow
Look out for ulterior motives
"Just remember that if you bring this up and your husband is against it, that could be the beginning of the end of your marriage."
"For a lot of people their partner saying 'I am seriously considering having sex with other people and I'm checking with you if it is ok', is a deal breaker."- gamerplays
Consider a test run?
"Go to a bar together separately."
"Watch them flirt/interact with someone else."
"If you get jealous, it's probably a bad idea to bring in a third."
"If it turns you on, go for it."- SinSlayer
Query people with experience.
"It’s something my wife and I have talked about."
"We both agreed that opening the Pandora’s box is not the way we want our relationship to go."
"While it sounds fun, we have seen way to many relationships derailed because of it."- DarthDujo
Consider going whole hog.
"Bring a 4th."- xxemrgmi
Evaluate your relationship first.
"Make sure you and your partner are secure in your own relationship before having another person join."
"Have boundaries, and no secrets."
"From my experience it doesn't usually work out in the end."- Thick-Procedure455
"Don't do it."
"For a long time, my ex harbored a fantasy of watching me have sex with another woman."
"Hey, who knows why any of us are wired the way we are?"
"After contemplating the idea together for a while, we decided to approach one of her more attractive co-workers, who had made a series of flattering comments along the lines of "you're so lucky" and "he's so good-looking'."
"She enthusiastically agreed."
"Our first meet-up was of course awkward, but the second, third and following were pretty good."
"In fact they got progressively hotter, as we all got more comfortable with each other's boundaries, erotic likes and dislikes."
"However, over a few months these occasional kinky weekends transitioned into the co-worker asking more frequently and aggressively to be invited over."
"We tried to explain that we had intended these threesomes to be rare and exotic highlights in our sex life, not regular occurrences, but she didn't take the message to heart and instead became increasingly insistent, bordering on smothering."
"After being turned down one Friday, that night she unexpectedly showed up at our door anyway, carrying a weekend bag and wearing nothing but a raincoat, stay-ups and heels."
"While that was quite a sight, it definitely creeped us out, as it made us finally realize the whole arrangement was descending into 'play Misty for me' territory."
"My ex and I agreed that her unexpected and unwelcome appearance signaled the end of future three-ways, at least until we were able to cool our own selves down, reassess, and perhaps later find a less demanding and insistent third."
"Things subsequently got very sticky at work for my wife, as her co-worker, with whom she had to interact closely, strongly resented being permabanned, and kept demanding to know 'what she'd done that was so awful'."
"Coworker eventually asked to be transferred to another office, but by the time that process was over and done, the discomfort / guilt / pressure / confusion my ex was suffering both at home and at work had begun to take its psychological toll."
"I must confess it didn't help that our own sex life was simultaneously going through a rough patch."
"Long story short, we ended our decade-long relationship less than a year after breaking off the threesomes, chiefly due to trust issues and growing sexual incompatibility, both perhaps triggered by our experimentation."
"Ever since, I've regretted agreeing to that first three-way."
"If I hadn't been so damned eager to take a bite of forbidden fruit, we might have kept our relationship intact."
"But I guess this can also be put down as what sometimes happens when you ignore that old advice, 'don't sh*t where you sleep'."- theartfulcodger
When venturing into the unknown, it's always wise to gain some first hand experience, to hear a variety of pros and cons of what you're possibly getting yourself into.
That way, deciding whether or not it's for you will become increasingly clear.
It's also important to remember, that it is always ok to say "no".
People Share Their Best 'You Either Die The Hero Or Live Long Enough To Become The Villain' Experiences
"You either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain."
Though not necessarily a universal truth, all of us have witnessed unfortunate moments in our lives where we've seen this saying become a reality.
Be it seeing our favorite public figures take a serious fall from grace, someone we know and admire eventually disappointing us in a devastating manner, or even seeing ourselves turn into someone we promised we'd never become.
One Redditor was curious to hear people's examples of this saying coming to light, either from a personal experience or seeing it happen to a well-known, public figure, leading them to ask:
"Who is your example of 'you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain'?"
"He originally stood up for civil rights when it was really unpopular."
"Was hospitalized and accidentally placed in the black ward."
"When the doctors found out, they tried to move him, but he refused."
"Then he became a cult leader and used his power and influence to end the lives of a thousand people."- Crvsby
Earning a position of power
"Working in restaurant kitchens."
"You either burn out young, or become the boss that everyone hates."
"There's exceptions, but that's the rule."- grandpas_old_crow
"Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich Maneuver."
"Made up a bunch of untested uses for it, treating people having asthma attacks, and drowning victims were the two I remember that he publicly talked up."
"Later, he funded an experiment that involved injecting people with Malaria to see if it would treat other conditions.
"The experiment was found to be unethical by American review boards, so he conducted them in Ethiopia." - User Deleted
"In WW1 he led the French to victory at Verdun, one of the worst battles in human history."
"In WW2, after France was beaten, Petain was the head of state of Vichy France."
"Guy went from the Lion of Verdun to the biggest Nazi collaborator in France."- arthuranymoredonuts
"Every organ until it gets cancer."- SuperBaconjam
"He had the whole country behind him here in Ireland at one point bar people who thought combat sport is grotesque."
"He was witty, original, backing himself up and having a Hollywood like rise to stardom."
"Now he's someone who the whole country is ashamed of, goes punching old men, clearly sleeps around on his wife while she's at home with the kids, just a walking caricature of himself."
"He didn't listen to his own advice."
"Get out."- StephenPigot2020
Turning into our parents
"My dad used to annoy me by calling my Pokemon cards 'Pokey-Mans'."
"Now my kids have them and I do the same thing and it annoys the sh*t out of them."
"Thanks for the (Pokeyman) gold!"- rumpel4skinOU
"Almost died during the revolutionary way, if I recall correctly, and if he had he would have been remembered a huge hero, and a martyr."
"Instead he lived and changed sides, and is remembered only for his being a traitor."- uniqueperson22
Be it someone we knew quite intimately, or someone we admired from a far, it is always heartbreaking to see someone evolve from someone we love, to someone we utterly hate.
Sometimes we do things that have to be done.
And some of those things live in life's gray area of right and wrong.
What comes as a surprise to some is when we don't care if we're wrong.
We may still technically be in the right.
But morally and ethically, there may be some issues.
But still, many people don't care.
Redditor BirdyPizzawanted to see who would fess up about some of the worst things we're responsible for but have no shame.
"What is the darkest thing you have ever done and don’t regret?"
I've stolen from department stores that overcharged. I was arrested. I didn't care. So there...
"Five years ago my dad suffered a catastrophic stroke. Left paralyzed and robbed of his speech and ability to communicate he was a shell of the once vibrant, charismatic man he once was. He was moved into skilled nursing where he lived for nearly two years, he was miserable."
"On my last visit I told him it was okay if he wanted to leave us, that we would miss him but he should go. A week later I received the call that he had passed. Instead of immediate grief I felt relief. Relief that he was finally free. The grief came later and I still miss him every single day."
"Got into a car accident and had to stay with my mom for a couple days to figure out what to do. Went back to my apartment (I had two roommates) and everything was missing from my room. Long story short one of my roommates had everything hidden in her room."
"I called and told her the things were missing from my room and she came up with a lie that a couple girls came to look at my room (I was moving out bc of the accident, long story) and that they must have taken my things. She had everything I owned. Including my grandmothers perfume bottles, stuffed to the back of her closet, under her bed, behind her dresser etc."
"So I packed all of my stuff up. Then took a giant black garbage bag and stuffed as much of her closet in it as I could. Took it to the middle of nowhere, dug a hole and burnt it. She called screaming at me that her stuff was missing. I told her the two girls must have come by and taken her stuff too."
"I hit my uncle left right and center when he was trying to choke my father to death. I was 16 years old at that time, a very skinny girl. I beat his face neck and every part of him that I could target with so much intensity that my knuckles turned blue the next day. I had an animalistic rage that day trying to help my father get away from his death grip. I hate my uncle even today."
"I got anger issues because of growing up around him. And I don't regret beating him that day at all. He was physically abusive to his wife as well. One fine day, his wife retaliated by beating him blue with a stick. And he stopped being physically violent towards her post that."
"A neighbor like 10 years ago was neglecting their dog badly in the heat. The dog escaped often and ended up at the shelter a lot. One day she jumped the fence and got her tie-out cable stuck on the fence. (She was not in danger of choking.) Neighbor put her on a 3-foot-long cable tied to a doorknob, no water, 90 degree day. I let some kind folks steal her, watched the whole thing and said nothing to stop them."
"When my father was dying and in pain I was the one who told the doctors he had been through enough and we couldn't see him suffer anymore. Doctor injected him with something, I assume a morphine mega dose and he passed peacefully moments after. Euthanasia may not be legal in UK but compassionate doctors know what's what. I don't regret it because my pa made me promise I would have his back when he got sick or old. I'm sad he got sick and never got to get old."
That is a lot of mess. But sometimes we have to do what we have to do.
"One of my ex best friends in high school was a real narcissistic lunatic. Had so many egotistical fantasies about what he deserved but I remained his friend because we met through my close friend (his girlfriend). As I started realizing what a terrible person he was I convinced him to go after his fantasy of a harem by asking to add a 3rd to their relationship, that led to a fight between his gf."
"I called her about it and asked how she felt about him adding someone to their relationship and about him sleeping with her. She said she knew nothing about that and started crying because he cheated on her. I basically helped orchestrate their breakup and have no regrets. She is happy with her first child now and he is in a toxic af relationship with 3 kids, 2 of which aren't his and his partner is 8 years older than him."
"Had to make the choice to take my dad off of life support after he got Covid this year. He was sedated for a couple of weeks and one of his lungs collapsed and I couldn't watch him fall apart anymore. My dad was a bulky dude. Constantly did a lot of outdoor work and to see him bone skinny and have no muscle left killed me and I knew even if he somehow got through it, he would have been so miserable and depressed in that state he was in. I don’t regret it. I think it was the right thing to do by him. I’ll never not miss him though. That was my buddy."
"Turned a close friend into the fish and game. He would poach mountain lions and bears. His whole family would literally shoot them and leave them. He would brag about it. I couldn’t stand it and felt that I needed to stop him. He’s in prison and so is his uncle. I know I ruined his life but he was literally killing so many mountain lions and bears."
"In middle school, there was this group of boys that would corner me in the hallway and try to scare me. I was the perfect target for these little b**tards. I was short, skinny, and had (and still have) and anxiety disorder. One day I just had enough, and asked a friend if I could have an extra pencil, sharpened it as much as I could, and when I saw one of them in the hallway, I stabbed the hell out of his leg. Sh**head got what he deserved."
Wow... we really are a dark and secretive people.