Hurt people hurt people. But because you're a hurt person doesn't mean you have to take it out on the rest of us. Sorry, but if you come for me, I'm coming for you. Most bullies will retreat once you let them know.... your wrath is to be feared.
Redditor u/VinceDeezer wanted to hear some stories about taking down the coward that is Goliath by asking.... People of reddit, what was your revenge on a bully?
50. From Enemies To Allies
A "bully" from my class used to tell me that i wasn't her friend, she often told me to sod off, and she told me she didn't like me. So at some point on instagram the people in my class created an instagram messaging group with all the people from that class and the bully was in there too. at some point she told me to shut up, as usual, and i start like freaking out and at some point i tell her "why don't you like me?!" she responded with "who told you that you like me?!" and i said "who told you that i don't?!" and at that point i think i got her thinking. from that moment we became friends. pals. chums, whatever.
49. Life's Own Comeuppance
I went to university and got a beautiful smart amazing partner of now over 3 years, got a sports car, a bachelors degree and I'm two months from having a masters. He has to see my periodic posts of sheer progress and happiness. He is still a fat aggressive jerk with a job at McDonald's and the only girlfriend he's had in the last two years cheated on him regularly until it finally ended because she'd rather be with the person she was cheating on him with.
48. Sexism Is Inherently Dumb
Got accepted to college before he did. It was my dream school too, and his scores were abysmal. He actually had to take it himself since his mom couldn't take the test for him. His dad tried to get him in the other way, but he didn't have enough money for the school to ignore the scores, so he was packed off to a satellite school in the middle of nowhere.
It's no secret he graduated college by the skin of his teeth. And he always claimed he was smarter than me, a stupid female. This stupid female has a masters and a career, he lives at home with mommy and daddy.
I had a guy steal from me, a second time as well as other drama, and I had been made aware he had a warrant out for him so when me and a few friends were driving up the local main street and I saw him I jumped out of the car. Then went to the police station a half block away to say that I just saw so and so, when he came to he went back inside the bar he was out in front of and the police showed up and arrested him
46. Revenge Via Broken Heart
When I was in high school there was this one kid I didn't get along with. Not exactly a bully just bad blood, we would always get into fights and curse each other out. Eventually I got sick of it and I had realized that his current gf was a girl that used to have a a crush on me back in middle school and one day something he said pushed me over the edge so at the end of the school day I talked to his girlfriend about how she used to have a crush on me and asked about how she felt about me now, And well she ended up dumping him for me. Me and him don't fight anymore.
45. Germ Repellant
When my brother was in first grade, he came home from school upset because another kid was messing with him.
When he told my mom, her response was to "give that kid a good licking!"(meaning fight back)
The next day my mom got a call from the principal because my brother took her advice literally and licked this other kids face when he started messing with him again.
Well, I guess it worked cuz the kid left him alone after that.
44. Corporal Defense
This girl (i am also a girl) used to bully me in school, calling me names, made fun of my siblings etc. One say i had enough. Shoved her and pulled her hair in front of her gang of bullies. They never bothered me again after that.
Im not proud of this. It's sad that i had to do that in order to survive school. Snitching would only make the matter worse. This was the norm in my school. Stand up for yourself or be trampled by the bullies. We used to do this between the ages of 10-14. My school was messed up.
43. Whoops! Sorry About Your Face!
Not me but my mom. Thought her years in school she said she always dealt with bullying and that's why I should stick up for myself now.
One day the bullying was too much for her and decided it was enough. My mom and the girl that had been bullying her were both on the school field hockey team. My mom waited and at the perfect moment.
She broke the girls nose and her wrist with her hockey stick in a game.
Unfortunately the bullying continued. But she said she felt better after that.
42. The Anti-Umbridge League
Kid bullied me in summer camp, I organized a network of other kids who also hated him and he was soon punished. I wanted to beat the heck outta that guy but this was probably a better option.
41. Useless Adults
I was on the receiving end on bullying quite a bit. A pair of guys wouldn't stop touching me and I had enough one day. I just about broke the one guy's arm before the worthless teacher finally stepped in. Then, the next year, I ended up stabbing another jerk with a pencil right in the hand when the teacher just kept watching him stealing my stuff. After that I was finally left alone.
40. Fooled Ya
When I was younger I wasn't particularly tough but I sure was good at acting. Some kid in my class that was giving me a hard time threw a couple of soft blows at me, one of them grazed my neck and to show him a lesson I pretended he damaged my oesophagus and lay on the ground gasping for life. He started panicking. I eventually got up and started laughing
39. Bully Vs. Sociopath
I found a dead rat behind the school gym, I proceeded to learn his locker code and placed it in there over a 2 week holiday, the thing stank real bad. When he found it he actually squealed
Two years of constant torment concluded the same day when I said his dog would be next in that locker.
38. Dangerous With Utensils
Not revenge, strictly speaking. More like preventive measure. Guy in my class was messing with me and trying to take stuff from my table. I was trying to get some work done and the constant interruptions were pissing me off. Among the items on my table was a plastic fork (some kid was bringing cake for his birthday). So I told him that if he touched my stuff one more time I would ram that fork into his hand. He touched my stuff one last time.
The fork did not really penetrate his hand because it shattered into dozens of little pieces. But it gave him a good scratch and some minor bleeding.
Months or years later another kid was bringing something for his birthday and I was holding a plastic spoon in my hand. Turning it around and just looking at it. Some kid piped up "Good Lord! Who gave him a spoon!?". People remembered ...
37. Knocked The Music Out
There was this one guy that was pretty much a stereotype of the word bully. He also was just generally a pain in my behind and an all around jerk. One time, I had a really bad migraine and he was standing behind me while we were trying to change classes in middle school. He was singing this really annoying song at full volume, from less than 6 inches from my ear. I asked him nicely to stop and he screamed NO in my ear. I was on my way to math class. Our text book was about 6 inches thick and weighed in about 5 lbs. I also had a big notebook. I whirled around and whacked him in the stomach HARD. He left me alone for the rest of the year..........Ahhhhh silence.
36. Going For The Jugular
My first bully was this kid that always made me cry in elementary school, every day during recess. Last day of elementary I told her she took all her problems out on me because she had no friends, and because she was insecure about her weight. That one I regret because that was too mean even for an 11 year old.
My second was in high school to a girl that had not only been a bad friend to me, but came up with rumors about me obsessing over her and wanting to be her girlfriend. After we had fooled around once before.
After that I found out that at the time we had fooled around she had started dating a good friend of mine again, and I outed her cheating to the friend. I felt really guilty in the end and I felt like I had to tell the friend, it wasn't so much of a revenge thing, but more of a "damn I inadvertently hurt someone else" due to being a horny teenager. The end of high school was really lonely because I was made out to be a lying jerk, but I came out of it with some wonderful friends because the bad times cleared out the bad people in my life. I came out of it with a better understanding of my sexuality as well, so it was worth it.
35. Butt Pins
My bully was my 4 grade teacher (I was the quiet kid) he would belittle me and treat me like I was stupid and an idiot. So I decided to put pins on his chair, best day of my life. 8 years later, I still hate him.
34. Revenge In The Workplace
Not me but my dad:
This one kid bullied my dad when he was little, right now my dad works for a very successful firm as a supervisor. The bully was hired as a programmer, my dad gave him almost impossible tasks, the bully quit and now works for a very small rivaling company
33. Don't Mess, Princess
In school I was picked on a lot. One day, as I was bending over, a kid kicked me and I fell flat on my face, making the whole class laugh. I turned round, picked him up by his ears and banged his head against the wall saying "just leave me the hell alone".
At that moment, the teacher opened the door for us to go in and saw me. He called us both into his office and asked what happened. Gently told me he understood why I'd done that but it wasn't a good idea, and gave the other kid a detention and a letter home. People left me alone for a while after that!
32. Aaaaaand FLIP
Guy was trying to push me around and I tried to do a move out of some movie i saw and judo flipped him. Remembered that it was from a movie and as casually as I could walked away without looking at him.
Btw this was like 5th grade, at recess.
31. Getting Served
Some classmates of mine were throwing snowballs at older people in front of the school so I said they had to stop (what if they fell). Then they threw snowballs at me (i liked that because then they wouldn't throw at old people). Later that day I went to the McDonalds with some friends after school and they were there too. So I walked outside, grabbed snow, made a snowball, walked back in and just when he went to take a bite of his fries I threw a snowball in his face.
30. Who Wears Short Shorts
This kid (16/17) at school was awful to me. He would bully me every day without fail, call me names, throw stuff at me pull my clothing, put chewing gum in my hair etc. He would always position himself somewhere behind me on the school bus for optimum throwing/gum hair capability.
One day the planets and the stars aligned and I had somehow got on the bus first and he was in front of me for a change and I just so happened to have a tube of Nair in my bag (for unrelated reasons). Now this kid admittedly had a nice head of hair. I wanted my payback. The amount of sketchy haircuts I had to endure because of this clown was unreal. So like I said...he had a pretty nice head of hair. Until I managed to drip Nair onto the back of his head for a 35 minute bus ride. He came to school the next day with a sketchy haircut. It was glorious. I should probably feel worse about it that I do/did but this guy made my daily life a living hell.
29. Scot Free
Typical every day bully, I was targeted for being friends with a person for being gay and standing up for them. Day to day I just let it go by, but one day he tried to pull me off my chair in math class so I turned around and rammed my pen into his side.
Teacher noticed it and sent me out the room and asked me what happened. I got 0 punishment as they were aware of the problem and he filed it up as an accident. Bully needed 2 stitches and never bothered me or my friend again.
28. Veronica Mars Worthy Revenge
All through 7th and 8th grade, this girl made fun of me for being a "prude." At our 8th grade graduation party, I pushed her into a pool fully clothed with her new phone in her pocket. I was grounded for a month but it was worth it. 10/10 would do again.
27. Hulking Out
There was this guy bullying me for years and one time he got physical. He hit me in the face with his elbow and laughed when I covered my face in pain. He turned his side to me to laugh with the other classmates and that's when I lifted him up, started running to the wall with him, and threw him again it. He looked like a beaten boxer bleeding everywhere in the face and pissed his pants.
26. The End Of The End
My bully in elementary was a year older than me. Let's call him Howard because that's his name and he sucks. Would beat me up on the way home from school regularly. I knew he had really strict parents too. So one day, with a fresh scrape on my arm from him pushing me and a ripped backpack from him tearing it open, I went to his house and talked to his mom detailing all of the times he beat me up, harassed me, or otherwise tormented me over the year. Two weeks later they pulled him out of school and sent him back to Korea to go to some kinda military/disciplinary school. Apparently, he had been in trouble like, a lot. Never heard from him again.
25. Who Got The Real Revenge?
When i was in grade 9 some kid used to bully me. Things like always talking over me in class on purpose, embarrassing me in front of girls, tripping me over etc. One day i snapped after he kept pelting tennis balls at my face from about a meter away in PE. I got so angry i grabbed him by the throat and proceeded to start laying into him and punched his face till his nose broke and started bleeding. At the time i had long hair and i saw there was blood in my hair and i freaked out and ran home. Got expelled.
24. Braids Will Take You DOWN
When I was 7 there was this annoying dude in my class who wouldn't stop following me around at school and annoy me.
One day I had braids and he thought it was funny to pull them. I didn't, so I decided to do what would hurt his pride the most and tackled him to the ground.
He was one of the biggest guys in our class and everyone thought it was hilarious that he was knocked to the ground by a girl. We were in the same class for 5 more years after this and he never did anything else to me.
23. Diverted Threats
He was older, taller, bigger. So I told him that every time he bullied me, I would beat up his little brother. (Not true, btw.). The bullying came to a full and final stop.
22. Baseless Rumors
This guy in college harassed me and made my life miserable for a semester (weird phone calls, vicious rumors, serious bull) until he had the nerve to approach and threaten my mother on campus. Dumb face texted me later telling me if my mom ever talked to him again he would have public safety throw her off school property. Took those texts and the whole story to the president of student affairs. Of course she was appalled and immediately called him in. Turns out he had applied for a prestigious study abroad in Italy. After that his fate was essentially placed in my hands. If I reported that he even looked at me wrong he would lose his study abroad placement, period.
I took great pleasure the rest of the semester watching him turn pale and run whenever I entered a space he was in, although it certainly didn't make up for what was essentially a missed year of socializing, friend-making, and networking. I was still debunking rumors he spread by the time I graduated.
21. Properly Told Off
Fourth grade, two boys were jumping over my friend and I. We told them to stop multiple times. They continued. I stood up and made one of the kids fall. Felt so proud of myself.
Eighth grade. Lectured my class on being jerks and was pretty blunt with them. I said what I had been wanting to say for two years at that point. Was a lot of fun, even though (according to my friend) some kids laughed about me. But news got around quick. Lots of kids in my grade knew, and I was proud for that too.
20. Take it All....Giphy
I had a bully who'd call me Hitler only on the base that I'm Austrian, so asked out the girl he liked (she said yes) and became best friends with his brother. Rog3rcat
I showed this boy in my first grade class this cool rock I found, as I was convinced it was a moon rock. He asked to hold it to admire it so I let him, and then he proceeded to launch it into the forest and laugh at me.
So I did what I had to. I grabbed my chocolate pudding container and put it in the pocket of his sweater and smacked it so hard it exploded all over him.
Even though I lost that cool rock and my afternoon snack, I kept my pride that day. orangecrushh99
18. So Hollywood...
It was like out of a movie.
He was making fun of me and I taunted him back. He came at me and when he got close I put my hands up in a "don't hit me" position, but he slipped on a wet piece of wood and fell.
That's not what the other kids saw. Everyone else saw him come at me and then my hands flew up at his face and he hit the ground. They thought I was a god that decked him in the face.
I didn't even get in trouble because the recess teachers saw how the whole thing actually played out and he got in trouble.
We became recess buddies after that. coscojo
17. The Sidestep....
In a high school soccer game, this jerk I was guarding kept sneaking in dirty shots (kicks & elbows) when the ref wasn't looking.
After that had gone on for a while, he turned his back to me so he could receive a pass. He kept banging his body into mine (right behind him) to clear out space.
I timed it just right, and as he tried to hurl himself backward into me one more time, I sidestepped and gave him a little shove... and he stumbled out of control, arms flailing, and fell flat on his back.
I wasn't a very physical player, so my teammates who saw that were surprised. The best part was when some of them just cracked up laughing. MisterBigDude
Gave 3 guys a half ounce to beat him up and tell him to leave me alone.
They did. He did. Wrong_Answer_Willie
He destroyed my math project and pushed me down the stairs a bunch of times. I got his black belt taken away. snakyman
As a dojang mom of twelve years, this gives me a raging justice erection. Any kid wearing our name who bullies would meet exactly the same fate because OH HECK NO!!
Courtesy. Integrity. Self-control. Perseverance. Indomitable spirit. Bullying violates every tenet and shames the martial artist and the art alike. philemonslady
14. The Lawn Fanatic.....
Not me, but a friend. She had a neighbor from hell (is there a /r/JustNoNeighbor? If not, there should be). Decades of bullying, calling the cops when her kids played basketball in the driveway after school, yelling at her whenever leaves from her tree blew into his oh-so-perfect lawn, you get the picture.
This guy was a fanatic about his lawn. Out every day weeding, raking, mowing, fertilizing, whatever.
She played the long game. Planted mint several feet from the property line where he couldn't see it. That stuff can send roots a long way. It took a couple of years, but eventually mint started popping up in his lawn. She said the look on his face the day he noticed it was priceless. He's never going to get rid of it. capilot
13. Life will take care of it....
Not a bully really, but this older girl in high school loudly announced to the cafeteria that my thighs were "so huge" as I was wearing my cheerleading uniform. A few years later, I was going through my rebellious teens and dating this older crappy guy who ran in the same circle as her.
First time I saw her I was shocked that she introduced herself to me. Then she cried about how her boyfriend just went to jail for dealing and she didn't make enough money to keep the apartment and that was all the revenge I needed. am_lady_can_confirm
12. By the Hairs....
Not me, but my mom. At the place where she worked this guy liked to pick on her. So one day he decided to take her car keys and drop them down his pants. My mom was slightly embarrassed but needed to get home, so when he proceeded to challenge her to get them, she did. While she was grabbing them she may or may not have grabbed some of his pubic hair and twisted and yanked. He didn't mess with her again. LunaLovegood05
11. How Walter of You!!!Giphy
My ex was emotionally manipulative. When we hung out he was always logged into Netflix with my brothers account because he refused to buy his own. After we broke up I saw that he was watching Breaking Bad. So we waited until he got to the last season and changed the password. PoeMeACup
10. Every Visit.
Going to college and becoming successful. She bags my groceries everytime I visit my hometown. I know its wrong to take satisfaction from this, but I can't help it. EmeraldEmesis
9. The Punch.
This kid on the bus in middle school always used to make fun of my friend for being gay. One day he was grabbing him by the hair and slamming his head into the window while calling him gay slurs.
So I tapped him on the shoulder and gave him a really bad punch in the face that didn't feel satisfying at all. But it was enough to break his glasses and make sure he never messed with my friend again so it was a win and my first real physical confrontation. lafleurricky
This kid at my brother's middle school once cut the whiskers off of a cat's face with some friends and bragged about it. Cutting the whiskers off a cat is like torture, leaving it unable to navigate and sense things around it. The whiskers are incredibly sensitive.
My brother loves cats.
When my bro found out, he grabbed the kid by the shoulders and head butted him as hard as he could, leaving the bully crying on the ground with a broken nose, blood covering his face.
Afterwards, my brother was known affectionately around school by the nickname "Head."
And of course he got in huge trouble for it, but he didn't care. SirMauriac
7. The Floooooooor....
We had a debate (for class) and I pretty much wiped the floor with him. Dude barley even practiced plus I was the quiet kid so people expected me to be passive. LateForTheTest
6. Waddle Away....
It wasn't my doing, but the girl who harassed me and hit me in the locker rooms after gym class got pregnant and quit bullying me... in the 7th grade. I still feel weird about the all-consuming schadenfreude I experienced when I saw her waddling through the halls of our junior high. foul_dwimmerlaik
5. Damn 8th Grade....
In 8th grade there was this guy in my class who just enjoyed mocking me. I was quite chubby, shy and insecure at that time.
One day he got my school laptop somehow and played a porn video on it in the middle of the hallway with the speakers turned to 11. He was screaming "Look everybody what (my name) is watching." Everyone was looking, laughing and begged me to take back the laptop from him.
I tried taking it back be he wouldn't have it. We had a small fight over it, all this while I was really embarrassed, sad and angry as well as people filming it all.
In the end I snapped so I grabbed one of his fingers and pulled & bent it so hard I broke it. I remember he left crying after that and all the kids around us walked away like nothing happened. He never mocked me again after that. Bonnarp
Signed them up for mormon home visits online and specified that they should be persistent. toxic_pantaloons
3. Sister got it!
Not me but my sister.
There was this girl on the bus who kept messing with her everyday. No one would do anything about it. The other girl got off first and my sister followed. She put the fear of Satan into that girl. Didn't mess with my sister again. LouTenant6767
2. One. Good. Shove.
My friend, but at the end of the year he shoves his bully into a door and the teacher arrives as he is about to fight back. Friend didn't get into trouble. Mr_Chevalier
1. Just Chew....Giphy
Gave him a stick of gum covered in laxative. He was out for three days. homerbartbob
Some years ago, I had to advise a college friend to stop chasing the girl he was interested in at the time. She'd already turned him down. Explicitly. At least two or three times.
He wouldn't take no for an answer and didn't see anything wrong with his behavior.
Perhaps he'd seen too many movies where the guy eventually breaks through the girl's defenses and essentially coerces her into going out with him?
Sadly, this is behavior that is tolerated and yes, normalized in our society.
People were keen to share other observations after Redditor EnoughSandwich_7057 asked the online community,
"What's toxic behavior that's considered socially acceptable?"
"Trying to make people..."
"Trying to make people drink/smoke or drink/smoke more when they have firmly declined the offer."
This is a big one that can have disastrous consequences. I am thankful I got a bunch of terrible nights out drinking out of my system by my early twenties.
Being drunk to the point that you're incoherent is horrible.
"I hate the whole prank thing..."
"I hate the whole prank thing, especially when it's done for likes. Scaring or humiliating people for attention just means you are a bad person."
I don't watch any of those videos and I don't understand what people see in them.
"Overworking yourself and then collectively judging others who don't do the same."
I had a coworker like that once, and she was a (minor) reason why I ended up leaving one job, but still a reason nonetheless.
"Taking your work with you..."
"Taking your work with you on vacation. I mean if you enjoy working then that's your thing, but I get sick of people like going through paperwork and having meetings while on vacation. Like dude, stop."
"Looking down on someone..."
"Looking down on someone because of their job."
When people say things like, "If fast food workers deserve $15 an hour..." that says a lot.
"Deliberately misunderstanding what someone is saying so as to make it easier to argue with them."
"People tend to give drunk people..."
"People tend to give drunk people misbehaving a pass if they regularly do it, 'Oh don't mind Tom, he's just drunk.' That just reinforces that toxic behavior."
You can say that again. How many times have you run into bad behavior like this while out and about, perhaps in a bar? It's not fun.
"The fact that we reward..."
"The fact that we reward customers for being wrong. The number of times my old manager would be so exhausted from arguing over the cost of a carton of milk with a customer that she would just give it to them is appalling."
"It reinforces this mentality because even if the customer KNOWS they're wrong they don't care because they will still win."
Annnnd this is why I don't miss retail. I'm fine where I am.
"Verbally abusing minimum wage employees who don't make the rules. If I could change the laws tomorrow I'd encourage businesses to ban pieces of garbage like these who can't operate in public."
"I'm here to do a job..."
"Toxic workplace behavior needs to be top of the list. I'm here to do a job and go home, not be harassed because you don't like some aspect of my personality. Managers who let this slide should be held personally liable."
When you stop and think about it, you realize we live in an imperfect society. It's astounding that some people just tolerate bad behavior and, in many cases, don't even see anything wrong with it.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Parents make mistakes. We want to believe that parents are doing there very best to raise their kids, but sometimes they do more harm than good.
Research into childhood trauma didn't actually begin until the 1970s, so we don't have as much knowledge about our mental health as adults as we might like.
However, a study that followed 1,420 from 1992 to 2015 found conclusive results about childhood trauma:
"'It is a myth to believe that childhood trauma is a rare experience that only affects few,' the researchers say."
"Rather, their population sample suggests, 'it is a normative experience—it affects the majority of children at some point.'"
"A surprising 60 percent of those in the study were exposed to at least one trauma by age 16. Over 30 percent were exposed to multiple traumatic events."
Not all of the things our parents do that were not so helpful technically classify as trauma, but it definitely has an effect on us as we get older.
Redditor Gooncookies asked:
"What could your parents have done better when raising you?"
Here's some of the ways that these Redditor's parents could have done better.
Rules to maintain purity.
"Would've been nice if my dad hadn't convinced me I had to behave in certain ways to maintain my innocence and purity."
"Catholic? I can relate."
"Nope. He's an atheist. He's actually extremely upset that I practice my (non Christian) religion. He just has some really weird ideas about having female children. Like, if I wore spaghetti straps when I was a child he'd say it was like he was living in a brothel."
Becoming afraid of failure.
"Encourage me to do more. I was never pushed to do anything. I mean, I get why some athletes are like 'my parents pushed me too hard where I hated it.' But I was never encouraged to go out for it try anything new. I played little league baseball and decided I thought it was a good idea to try and be a pitcher. I told my mom, but got the response along the lines of 'That's a hard position, and the whole game kind of rides on you, and if you mess up, everyone is going to blame you.' As a 37 year old I now see how that kind of stuff screwed my self esteem up and why I'm so afraid of failure as an adult."
"Same here. Also when I wanted to try anything new my mom was like 'But that's too hard for you, are you really sure you wanna do this? I don't think that you want nor can.' What's even worse than just forbidding, in this way the kid won't 'protest doing it' and get too low self esteem to do it."
"I'm really happy now that I overcame this after I moved out. I started doing all those things I wanted to do as a kid and I freaking love it (but kinda hate the fact that I haven't started earlier)."
"But even if I have a good relationship to my mom I hide a lot of things I do from her, since she still does the same and tries to convince me that I actually don't wanna do what ever I planned."
"But dear mom, sometimes you just need to try new things. if it wont work out who cares!? Even got a tattoo with 'What if I fall? Honey what if you fly?' to remind me if I should ever forget. (And no, my mum doesn't know about it)."
We're allowed to feel our emotions.
"Allow me to express my emotions, treat me like an actually person, actually interact with me instead of just ignoring me and them just telling me to kill myself."
"Wow. I'm so sorry. I think a lot of parents forget that their children are actually human beings."
"Its okay. I'm trying to work through some of that trauma, its easier said than done."
Interest is nice.
"They could have shown more of an interest in my mental health and education."
"I didn't get help for my anxiety until after college and it's so frustrating to hear my parents acknowledge I was an anxious child yet nothing was done. I can look back and see how many things could have gone better for me."
"I had diagnosed ADHD and my mom thought that the meds made my brother and I zombies and decided she wanted us to just be kids. My parents never looked into any kind of non-medication help for my ADHD."
"I'll always wonder what school would've been like if I had the tools to properly manage it."
"I got an MFA, but I feel my entire life has been a whole lot of masking."
I also have comorbid sleep/circadian rhythm disorder which they also never did anything about. Going to the doctor for anything, physical or mental, was not prioritized. But, my parents definitely weren't well off financially, so I imagine that that was the biggest contributor."
Kids deserve autonomy.
"Taught me to question adults and trust myself."
"They thought they were doing the best thing by teaching my sister and I 'All adults are always right and you obey them no matter what,' but it made me a dysfunctional employee and vulnerable to abusive relationships."
"The good news is it can be unlearned. But I hope this new generation will teach our kids to assert themselves respectfully instead of blind obedience."
Why keep up the charade?
"My parents are great people who did a good job raising me, but there was one weird thing they did that still kind of annoys to this day (and I'm 44.)"
"Once I got old enough to figure out that things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny weren't real they still wouldn't admit it for some reason; I think it was more my mom and my dad just went along with her. But even when I became a teenager and all my siblings were teenagers it's like they still thought it was funny and cute to keep pretending that Santa Claus was real. I don't know why."
"They missed the point of that sort of thing. It's a rite of passage for children to eventually get old enough to figure out that this sort of thing isn't real and for the parents to let them in on it. I was denied that and it still bugs me for some reason."
"I could imagine that being infuriating at 14-15 years old. At that age you're wanting to be seen as more of an adult and I can imagine them not acknowledging Santa as a way of not welcoming me into adulthood/making me feel like a little kid."
Yea that's weird. When I got older and looked back I realized that my folks never flat out said Santa was real. My mom would say something like, 'He's only real if you believe in him,' so she never technically lied to me. Maybe it stems from that, they don't want to admit they lied to you?"
"That could be, but I think it was more a matter of my parents (again, my mom especially) thinking that doing the whole Santa Claus thing on Christmas morning, and Easter Bunny thing on Easter was fun and something that she just didn't want to let go of when my sisters and I got older."
Healthy criticism is necessary sometimes.
"They lacked discipline and parental authority which led us to treat them like our friends, disrespect them. We also couldn't be academically successful because they didn't help us develop a healthy studying habit."
"Kids like it when a parent tells them what to do (I mean, parenting is about teaching a kid what to do, if you just leave it like that, it won't learn anything), help them when they can't get through it, never give negative criticism, but constructive criticism when they fail and appreciate them when they succeed."
"Negative criticism: this type only tells them what is wrong. e.g. 'you can't do this,' 'you are doing this badly.'"
"Constructive criticism: this type gives them an insight into what should they do, you can add what is lacking if necessary. e.g. '[...] is not good behaviour, please do [...] next time, then you would succeed,' 'it looks ok (if it is badly done, then don't say this), but if you do [...] it'd be better / [...] is the correct way.'"
Whatever the situation was with your parents or caretakers, there are ways to heal from this trauma.
Psychology Today says we need to process our emotions, especially if we were taught not to when we were children.
It's important that we break these generational curses.
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Breaking up is something that never gets easier.
That kind of thinking, however, does little to keep us from feeling dejected for days on end.
Curious to hear from heartbroken strangers on the internet, Redditor whitecheeks-24 asked:
What's your sad love story?
Death never comes at the right time.
A Difficult Decision
"The love of my life and soulmate who I was married to for 20 years and together for 24 passed away about 8 months ago. I feel alone and empty inside. I have nobody to love or to love me. My life is an empty waste of space now."
"I took her off of life support because I know that's what she wanted and I had to respect her wishes but I sometimes wish I was a little more greedy. I just want my doll face back."
"I am so sorry. I had to do the same thing with my love, married 40 years. It's been 28 months and I'm sinking deeper into despair. We had so many plans, did everything together, and I am honestly lost without him. I send you warmest regards."
The Shy Admirer
"I was a shy teenager, in love with a cute neighbor. His sister and my mom were friends. He died in a car accident. Nobody knew how I felt about him. I overheard his sister tell my mom that he was in love with me. We never got to share our feelings with each other."
"I think a guy I found on match.com died but I have no way of knowing. We had only been dating for 2 or 3 months and we were taking things slow. Then he got sick..tumors in his back and he needed surgery. We still hung out but he was in a lot of pain."
"At the time I was frustrated because I felt he was pushing me away. I just adored him and he was sending mixed messages. Now looking back.. I'm thinking he was just trying to survive. He went in for surgery and I never heard from him again. I didn't know his family and he didn't have social media."
"My mom would check the obituaries in the paper for me and I just always wondered. I hope he didn't know how to end things and just felt this was easier. It's been 5 years and I have a family of my own now but Michael..I hope you're okay."
It's hard for these Redditors to accept the fact their love was never meant to be.
Long Distance Fizzle
"I had to leave my first boyfriend behind because I moved out of state and didn't even get to say goodbye because I didn't know we were moving when I left. We left to see my aunt who had been traveling and was diagnosis with brain cancer in another state, she was too sick to travel home so they rented a house and stayed there essentially until she passed away."
"My mom liked the area better than my hometown tho so we ended up staying, our stuff was shipped to us so I never got to say goodbye to my boyfriend in person."
"We kept in contact for a couple years but being 16 and 18, it wasn't easy for me to just pack up and head back to move in somewhere with him. We both knew we weren't ready for that so we tried our best to keep the long distance romance going."
"Eventually he messaged me one day and told me that he can't do it anymore and he didn't want to hear from me again because he couldn't handle it."
"When I was in my early 20s, I've had a love at first sight experience. It completely broke me. He actually was into me too, but not in love like I was."
"I had never had a boyfriend before and I got so excited, I came in like a wrecking ball to cite a great poet. Long story short, I scared him off, he broke up, I couldn't get him out of my head and couldn't imagine a world without him, so I tried to kill myself."
"Though let me reassure you all, it's been years and I'm over him (as long as I don't see him IRL, I just know that I'd fall back in the spiral), I even had a long-term relationship after him."
Tough Reality Check
"I got left out of a 5 year relationship. I got injured, lost my job, and had to go take care of my dying mom. I was not in a good way. I come back from the ER and she calls our entire relationship off because I was not 'passionate' any longer. Right."
"My entire life fell apart. Lost the house we had gone in on. Lost the dog we had gotten together. And I lost my girl. She was my bestfriend, my first love."
"Huge reality check but at least I'm only 22. I'm glad I saw her true colors when things went bad. Easy to stand by someone when times are good. Saddest part is I would take her back in an instant. I lost a piece of my soul with her."
Some of the biggest heartbreaks come when someone shows their true colors.
"FOUND OUT MY BOYFRIEND WAS MARRIED WITH KIDS ON THE INTERNET. I was happy and in love for two years. One day while doing my research for a client work, I come across a research paper. The research paper matched what I was looking for, scrolling through it, I realized the owner had some names as my boyfriend."
"But this time he acknowledges his wife and two children for being patient with him as he was busy doing the thesis. I got curious, I took a screenshot and sent him a picture and asked if it's his paper."
"Also, I asked if it's true that he has two kids and a wife and he why didn't tell me. He answered 'DOES IT MATTER '. That was the end of my relationship. Never talked about it, never told any soul what happened."
"I finally got with my best friend and soul mate. He knows more about me then anyone and knows what I've been put thru my whole life. When we first got together he promised he would never do anything to me that others have."
"One year later he cheated, lied and and broke my spirit. Something i never thought was possible with me, yet he accomplished it. It's been a year since i left him and he still tries to get back into my life. The sad part is I know he doesn't love me and I can't stop loving him."
"After four years of supporting my lover through his depression and alcoholism, he announced tonight that he is leaving me. I'm pretty depressed."
A Devious Scheme
"Wife moves our small family across the country for a promotion at her company. When we arrive and settle into our house, she leaves me for her boss."
"The move was a scheme for her boss to leave his wife and kids, and for her to leave me, while being able to be close to all their children. So I unknowingly left my career, family and friends behind to move to a state where I don't know anyone so she could be with her new guy."
Unexpected tragedy will always be, to me, the saddest break up story.
A co-worker of mine used to date a young man who was a patron at the store where we both worked.
Their budding romance was new and exciting and absolutely adorable to watch.
He told me he planned to propose to her before he went away on a family vacation, but sadly, my friend never got the proposal. The guy drowned in a horrible boating accident during his trip.
Although my friend is now happily married with two kids, I wonder if she still thinks about him.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Want to "know" more?
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On the outside, so many professions and careers look glamorous, financially enticing, and fun.
Often we sit back in our own lives and wallow in our dead-end jobs with that "wish I could do that for a living mentality!"
But if you look a little closer or, much like Dorothy Gale in OZ, just wait for a Toto to push the curtain back, you'll see that a lot more is going on behind the scenes.
And the shenanigans we don't see, make all that fun... evaporate.
So many careers and high power industries are built on a foundation of lies, backstabbing, and stress. And not in that fun "Dynasty" way.
That quiet, dead-end gig may not be so bad after all.
Redditor MethodicallyDeep wanted hear all the tea about certain careers, by asking:
What is a secret in your industry that should be talked about?
I swear if every single person was forced to work in the hospitality industry for at least one month in their life, y'all would be beside yourselves. The amount of craziness and laziness could keep you eating at home for every meal until death.
Play Bigmartin scorsese casino GIFGiphy
"Casino dealers really do want the players to win. We don't work for the house. We get paid crap hourly rates and rely on tips. Unless the player is super nice they only to tip if they win so we really do want you to win." ~ thedevilsgame
Not the Good Stuff...
"That you can take a gallon of paint and give it a different label, price point, and warranty depending on the store it is sold in." ~ big_d_usernametaken
"My professor told me the same thing. He was a job coach and erased the due dates on food products with I believe acetone or some product in nail polish remover."
"Would slap a new date on it, and the food would get shipped to poorer neighborhoods. That crap blew my mind." ~ Additional_Bar_2013
"Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That if everyone being charged with a crime insisted on it going to trial, no plea bargaining, the system would crash." ~ mikenyle
"When I was a juror, the judge also commented before everything started that trial by jury is the only thing causing people to plea bargain and "getting the system moving."
"Many trials sit in limbo for years, and it's only the threat of "Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That really negotiations start. That's exactly what happened in my case - jurors got selected, and that afternoon (after being 2 years in the system), the defendant pleads out." ~ zealeus
"Safety. It's not really about your health and well being. It's about saving the company money from medical expenses, lost time, lawyer costs, etc. Very rarely does your company actually give 2 craps about you, no matter how much they preach safety, they just don't want to pay if you get hurt/killed." ~ WhenThePiecesFit
"pen to paper"New Girl I Give Up GIFGiphy
"TV/screenwriter here. If you're established and well connected, it's very easy to coast and be a TV writer for YEARS and do very little actual writing. Most of TV writing is just talking in a room with other writers spitballing."
"This is why there's so many old, unfunny dudes still "writing" on TV shows. They're hired by their friends and in TV, a lot writers don't actually do much "pen to paper" writing. Plus everything gets rewritten to death." ~ GardenChic
So much mess. Someone hire me to write for TV. Why are you just giving away jobs to unqualified people? Life is so unfair. This list makes me mad. Let's continue...
Carbon Copiesmail GIF by RabbidsGiphy
"I work in the print industry, we print cheques for companies and there is so little security involved in hiring, or keeping the materials secure, or running the actual work, or shipping the work to customers. I'm shocked we haven't had a problem with stolen cheques." ~ Jeff_Cunningham
"Advertising. I keep reading that advertising is leading people to be more woke, or multicultural. Companies don't lead, they follow. They do lots of research and know where the future markets are."
"I worked for a very conservative global brand. 5 years before gay marriage became legal, they told us it would happen and we needed to start targeting the LBGTQ community." ~ leftside72
"Visa agent and I've seen people be refused because the manager didn't like their face." ~ Ok_Albatross9395
"Omg this happened to my sister. She couldn't start her semester in time because she kept being refused a visa even though she fulfilled all conditions."
"Finally my parents found a "connection" in embassy to see what's going on; turns out someone just didn't like her when she came to give her papers the first time. I never knew if I can fully believe that story." ~ animal7239
So much typing...
"I'm a writer, among other things. I used to ghostwrite. You'd be amazed how many popular books are partly or fully ghostwritten. I specialised in taking people's crappy first drafts and rewriting them so they were actually good. Not "good" according to people's taste, which is subjective."
"But objectively better in the sense of being properly spelled, not having gaping plot holes, making sure characters were consistent. By the time I was done there was often very little left of the draft the "writer" had created, but there was a marketable product."
"Pisses me off no end when I see all the bull the publishing industry comes out with about how writers submitting a manuscript must make sure it's perfect because only excellence will get you anywhere."
"I don't know how they can say that and still sleep at night, knowing full well that they're hiring people like me to do large-scale rewrites (or to take a half-baked plot and create a draft from scratch)." ~ iwillckingbiteyou
ThievesJoseline Hernandez Facepalm GIFGiphy
"I work in payroll. The number of payroll reports I see where people are conned out of their overtime is saddening."
"Also, taxes paid by a business shouldn't actively dissuade them from paying employees less. The system shouldn't be based on paying a percentage of employee salary in taxes (FICA, Workers Comp), in other words." ~ ThongofSekhmet
I think some investigations need to be launched. I always knew payroll departments were running a scam. Too many people are being ripped off. Time to expose some people.
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