Hurt people hurt people. But because you're a hurt person doesn't mean you have to take it out on the rest of us. Sorry, but if you come for me, I'm coming for you. Most bullies will retreat once you let them know.... your wrath is to be feared.
Redditor u/VinceDeezer wanted to hear some stories about taking down the coward that is Goliath by asking.... People of reddit, what was your revenge on a bully?
50. From Enemies To Allies
A "bully" from my class used to tell me that i wasn't her friend, she often told me to sod off, and she told me she didn't like me. So at some point on instagram the people in my class created an instagram messaging group with all the people from that class and the bully was in there too. at some point she told me to shut up, as usual, and i start like freaking out and at some point i tell her "why don't you like me?!" she responded with "who told you that you like me?!" and i said "who told you that i don't?!" and at that point i think i got her thinking. from that moment we became friends. pals. chums, whatever.
49. Life's Own Comeuppance
I went to university and got a beautiful smart amazing partner of now over 3 years, got a sports car, a bachelors degree and I'm two months from having a masters. He has to see my periodic posts of sheer progress and happiness. He is still a fat aggressive jerk with a job at McDonald's and the only girlfriend he's had in the last two years cheated on him regularly until it finally ended because she'd rather be with the person she was cheating on him with.
48. Sexism Is Inherently Dumb
Got accepted to college before he did. It was my dream school too, and his scores were abysmal. He actually had to take it himself since his mom couldn't take the test for him. His dad tried to get him in the other way, but he didn't have enough money for the school to ignore the scores, so he was packed off to a satellite school in the middle of nowhere.
It's no secret he graduated college by the skin of his teeth. And he always claimed he was smarter than me, a stupid female. This stupid female has a masters and a career, he lives at home with mommy and daddy.
I had a guy steal from me, a second time as well as other drama, and I had been made aware he had a warrant out for him so when me and a few friends were driving up the local main street and I saw him I jumped out of the car. Then went to the police station a half block away to say that I just saw so and so, when he came to he went back inside the bar he was out in front of and the police showed up and arrested him
46. Revenge Via Broken Heart
When I was in high school there was this one kid I didn't get along with. Not exactly a bully just bad blood, we would always get into fights and curse each other out. Eventually I got sick of it and I had realized that his current gf was a girl that used to have a a crush on me back in middle school and one day something he said pushed me over the edge so at the end of the school day I talked to his girlfriend about how she used to have a crush on me and asked about how she felt about me now, And well she ended up dumping him for me. Me and him don't fight anymore.
45. Germ Repellant
When my brother was in first grade, he came home from school upset because another kid was messing with him.
When he told my mom, her response was to "give that kid a good licking!"(meaning fight back)
The next day my mom got a call from the principal because my brother took her advice literally and licked this other kids face when he started messing with him again.
Well, I guess it worked cuz the kid left him alone after that.
44. Corporal Defense
This girl (i am also a girl) used to bully me in school, calling me names, made fun of my siblings etc. One say i had enough. Shoved her and pulled her hair in front of her gang of bullies. They never bothered me again after that.
Im not proud of this. It's sad that i had to do that in order to survive school. Snitching would only make the matter worse. This was the norm in my school. Stand up for yourself or be trampled by the bullies. We used to do this between the ages of 10-14. My school was messed up.
43. Whoops! Sorry About Your Face!
Not me but my mom. Thought her years in school she said she always dealt with bullying and that's why I should stick up for myself now.
One day the bullying was too much for her and decided it was enough. My mom and the girl that had been bullying her were both on the school field hockey team. My mom waited and at the perfect moment.
She broke the girls nose and her wrist with her hockey stick in a game.
Unfortunately the bullying continued. But she said she felt better after that.
42. The Anti-Umbridge League
Kid bullied me in summer camp, I organized a network of other kids who also hated him and he was soon punished. I wanted to beat the heck outta that guy but this was probably a better option.
41. Useless Adults
I was on the receiving end on bullying quite a bit. A pair of guys wouldn't stop touching me and I had enough one day. I just about broke the one guy's arm before the worthless teacher finally stepped in. Then, the next year, I ended up stabbing another jerk with a pencil right in the hand when the teacher just kept watching him stealing my stuff. After that I was finally left alone.
40. Fooled Ya
When I was younger I wasn't particularly tough but I sure was good at acting. Some kid in my class that was giving me a hard time threw a couple of soft blows at me, one of them grazed my neck and to show him a lesson I pretended he damaged my oesophagus and lay on the ground gasping for life. He started panicking. I eventually got up and started laughing
39. Bully Vs. Sociopath
I found a dead rat behind the school gym, I proceeded to learn his locker code and placed it in there over a 2 week holiday, the thing stank real bad. When he found it he actually squealed
Two years of constant torment concluded the same day when I said his dog would be next in that locker.
38. Dangerous With Utensils
Not revenge, strictly speaking. More like preventive measure. Guy in my class was messing with me and trying to take stuff from my table. I was trying to get some work done and the constant interruptions were pissing me off. Among the items on my table was a plastic fork (some kid was bringing cake for his birthday). So I told him that if he touched my stuff one more time I would ram that fork into his hand. He touched my stuff one last time.
The fork did not really penetrate his hand because it shattered into dozens of little pieces. But it gave him a good scratch and some minor bleeding.
Months or years later another kid was bringing something for his birthday and I was holding a plastic spoon in my hand. Turning it around and just looking at it. Some kid piped up "Good Lord! Who gave him a spoon!?". People remembered ...
37. Knocked The Music Out
There was this one guy that was pretty much a stereotype of the word bully. He also was just generally a pain in my behind and an all around jerk. One time, I had a really bad migraine and he was standing behind me while we were trying to change classes in middle school. He was singing this really annoying song at full volume, from less than 6 inches from my ear. I asked him nicely to stop and he screamed NO in my ear. I was on my way to math class. Our text book was about 6 inches thick and weighed in about 5 lbs. I also had a big notebook. I whirled around and whacked him in the stomach HARD. He left me alone for the rest of the year..........Ahhhhh silence.
36. Going For The Jugular
My first bully was this kid that always made me cry in elementary school, every day during recess. Last day of elementary I told her she took all her problems out on me because she had no friends, and because she was insecure about her weight. That one I regret because that was too mean even for an 11 year old.
My second was in high school to a girl that had not only been a bad friend to me, but came up with rumors about me obsessing over her and wanting to be her girlfriend. After we had fooled around once before.
After that I found out that at the time we had fooled around she had started dating a good friend of mine again, and I outed her cheating to the friend. I felt really guilty in the end and I felt like I had to tell the friend, it wasn't so much of a revenge thing, but more of a "damn I inadvertently hurt someone else" due to being a horny teenager. The end of high school was really lonely because I was made out to be a lying jerk, but I came out of it with some wonderful friends because the bad times cleared out the bad people in my life. I came out of it with a better understanding of my sexuality as well, so it was worth it.
35. Butt Pins
My bully was my 4 grade teacher (I was the quiet kid) he would belittle me and treat me like I was stupid and an idiot. So I decided to put pins on his chair, best day of my life. 8 years later, I still hate him.
34. Revenge In The Workplace
Not me but my dad:
This one kid bullied my dad when he was little, right now my dad works for a very successful firm as a supervisor. The bully was hired as a programmer, my dad gave him almost impossible tasks, the bully quit and now works for a very small rivaling company
33. Don't Mess, Princess
In school I was picked on a lot. One day, as I was bending over, a kid kicked me and I fell flat on my face, making the whole class laugh. I turned round, picked him up by his ears and banged his head against the wall saying "just leave me the hell alone".
At that moment, the teacher opened the door for us to go in and saw me. He called us both into his office and asked what happened. Gently told me he understood why I'd done that but it wasn't a good idea, and gave the other kid a detention and a letter home. People left me alone for a while after that!
32. Aaaaaand FLIP
Guy was trying to push me around and I tried to do a move out of some movie i saw and judo flipped him. Remembered that it was from a movie and as casually as I could walked away without looking at him.
Btw this was like 5th grade, at recess.
31. Getting Served
Some classmates of mine were throwing snowballs at older people in front of the school so I said they had to stop (what if they fell). Then they threw snowballs at me (i liked that because then they wouldn't throw at old people). Later that day I went to the McDonalds with some friends after school and they were there too. So I walked outside, grabbed snow, made a snowball, walked back in and just when he went to take a bite of his fries I threw a snowball in his face.
30. Who Wears Short Shorts
This kid (16/17) at school was awful to me. He would bully me every day without fail, call me names, throw stuff at me pull my clothing, put chewing gum in my hair etc. He would always position himself somewhere behind me on the school bus for optimum throwing/gum hair capability.
One day the planets and the stars aligned and I had somehow got on the bus first and he was in front of me for a change and I just so happened to have a tube of Nair in my bag (for unrelated reasons). Now this kid admittedly had a nice head of hair. I wanted my payback. The amount of sketchy haircuts I had to endure because of this clown was unreal. So like I said...he had a pretty nice head of hair. Until I managed to drip Nair onto the back of his head for a 35 minute bus ride. He came to school the next day with a sketchy haircut. It was glorious. I should probably feel worse about it that I do/did but this guy made my daily life a living hell.
29. Scot Free
Typical every day bully, I was targeted for being friends with a person for being gay and standing up for them. Day to day I just let it go by, but one day he tried to pull me off my chair in math class so I turned around and rammed my pen into his side.
Teacher noticed it and sent me out the room and asked me what happened. I got 0 punishment as they were aware of the problem and he filed it up as an accident. Bully needed 2 stitches and never bothered me or my friend again.
28. Veronica Mars Worthy Revenge
All through 7th and 8th grade, this girl made fun of me for being a "prude." At our 8th grade graduation party, I pushed her into a pool fully clothed with her new phone in her pocket. I was grounded for a month but it was worth it. 10/10 would do again.
27. Hulking Out
There was this guy bullying me for years and one time he got physical. He hit me in the face with his elbow and laughed when I covered my face in pain. He turned his side to me to laugh with the other classmates and that's when I lifted him up, started running to the wall with him, and threw him again it. He looked like a beaten boxer bleeding everywhere in the face and pissed his pants.
26. The End Of The End
My bully in elementary was a year older than me. Let's call him Howard because that's his name and he sucks. Would beat me up on the way home from school regularly. I knew he had really strict parents too. So one day, with a fresh scrape on my arm from him pushing me and a ripped backpack from him tearing it open, I went to his house and talked to his mom detailing all of the times he beat me up, harassed me, or otherwise tormented me over the year. Two weeks later they pulled him out of school and sent him back to Korea to go to some kinda military/disciplinary school. Apparently, he had been in trouble like, a lot. Never heard from him again.
25. Who Got The Real Revenge?
When i was in grade 9 some kid used to bully me. Things like always talking over me in class on purpose, embarrassing me in front of girls, tripping me over etc. One day i snapped after he kept pelting tennis balls at my face from about a meter away in PE. I got so angry i grabbed him by the throat and proceeded to start laying into him and punched his face till his nose broke and started bleeding. At the time i had long hair and i saw there was blood in my hair and i freaked out and ran home. Got expelled.
24. Braids Will Take You DOWN
When I was 7 there was this annoying dude in my class who wouldn't stop following me around at school and annoy me.
One day I had braids and he thought it was funny to pull them. I didn't, so I decided to do what would hurt his pride the most and tackled him to the ground.
He was one of the biggest guys in our class and everyone thought it was hilarious that he was knocked to the ground by a girl. We were in the same class for 5 more years after this and he never did anything else to me.
23. Diverted Threats
He was older, taller, bigger. So I told him that every time he bullied me, I would beat up his little brother. (Not true, btw.). The bullying came to a full and final stop.
22. Baseless Rumors
This guy in college harassed me and made my life miserable for a semester (weird phone calls, vicious rumors, serious bull) until he had the nerve to approach and threaten my mother on campus. Dumb face texted me later telling me if my mom ever talked to him again he would have public safety throw her off school property. Took those texts and the whole story to the president of student affairs. Of course she was appalled and immediately called him in. Turns out he had applied for a prestigious study abroad in Italy. After that his fate was essentially placed in my hands. If I reported that he even looked at me wrong he would lose his study abroad placement, period.
I took great pleasure the rest of the semester watching him turn pale and run whenever I entered a space he was in, although it certainly didn't make up for what was essentially a missed year of socializing, friend-making, and networking. I was still debunking rumors he spread by the time I graduated.
21. Properly Told Off
Fourth grade, two boys were jumping over my friend and I. We told them to stop multiple times. They continued. I stood up and made one of the kids fall. Felt so proud of myself.
Eighth grade. Lectured my class on being jerks and was pretty blunt with them. I said what I had been wanting to say for two years at that point. Was a lot of fun, even though (according to my friend) some kids laughed about me. But news got around quick. Lots of kids in my grade knew, and I was proud for that too.
20. Take it All....Giphy
I had a bully who'd call me Hitler only on the base that I'm Austrian, so asked out the girl he liked (she said yes) and became best friends with his brother. Rog3rcat
I showed this boy in my first grade class this cool rock I found, as I was convinced it was a moon rock. He asked to hold it to admire it so I let him, and then he proceeded to launch it into the forest and laugh at me.
So I did what I had to. I grabbed my chocolate pudding container and put it in the pocket of his sweater and smacked it so hard it exploded all over him.
Even though I lost that cool rock and my afternoon snack, I kept my pride that day. orangecrushh99
18. So Hollywood...
It was like out of a movie.
He was making fun of me and I taunted him back. He came at me and when he got close I put my hands up in a "don't hit me" position, but he slipped on a wet piece of wood and fell.
That's not what the other kids saw. Everyone else saw him come at me and then my hands flew up at his face and he hit the ground. They thought I was a god that decked him in the face.
I didn't even get in trouble because the recess teachers saw how the whole thing actually played out and he got in trouble.
We became recess buddies after that. coscojo
17. The Sidestep....
In a high school soccer game, this jerk I was guarding kept sneaking in dirty shots (kicks & elbows) when the ref wasn't looking.
After that had gone on for a while, he turned his back to me so he could receive a pass. He kept banging his body into mine (right behind him) to clear out space.
I timed it just right, and as he tried to hurl himself backward into me one more time, I sidestepped and gave him a little shove... and he stumbled out of control, arms flailing, and fell flat on his back.
I wasn't a very physical player, so my teammates who saw that were surprised. The best part was when some of them just cracked up laughing. MisterBigDude
Gave 3 guys a half ounce to beat him up and tell him to leave me alone.
They did. He did. Wrong_Answer_Willie
He destroyed my math project and pushed me down the stairs a bunch of times. I got his black belt taken away. snakyman
As a dojang mom of twelve years, this gives me a raging justice erection. Any kid wearing our name who bullies would meet exactly the same fate because OH HECK NO!!
Courtesy. Integrity. Self-control. Perseverance. Indomitable spirit. Bullying violates every tenet and shames the martial artist and the art alike. philemonslady
14. The Lawn Fanatic.....
Not me, but a friend. She had a neighbor from hell (is there a /r/JustNoNeighbor? If not, there should be). Decades of bullying, calling the cops when her kids played basketball in the driveway after school, yelling at her whenever leaves from her tree blew into his oh-so-perfect lawn, you get the picture.
This guy was a fanatic about his lawn. Out every day weeding, raking, mowing, fertilizing, whatever.
She played the long game. Planted mint several feet from the property line where he couldn't see it. That stuff can send roots a long way. It took a couple of years, but eventually mint started popping up in his lawn. She said the look on his face the day he noticed it was priceless. He's never going to get rid of it. capilot
13. Life will take care of it....
Not a bully really, but this older girl in high school loudly announced to the cafeteria that my thighs were "so huge" as I was wearing my cheerleading uniform. A few years later, I was going through my rebellious teens and dating this older crappy guy who ran in the same circle as her.
First time I saw her I was shocked that she introduced herself to me. Then she cried about how her boyfriend just went to jail for dealing and she didn't make enough money to keep the apartment and that was all the revenge I needed. am_lady_can_confirm
12. By the Hairs....
Not me, but my mom. At the place where she worked this guy liked to pick on her. So one day he decided to take her car keys and drop them down his pants. My mom was slightly embarrassed but needed to get home, so when he proceeded to challenge her to get them, she did. While she was grabbing them she may or may not have grabbed some of his pubic hair and twisted and yanked. He didn't mess with her again. LunaLovegood05
11. How Walter of You!!!Giphy
My ex was emotionally manipulative. When we hung out he was always logged into Netflix with my brothers account because he refused to buy his own. After we broke up I saw that he was watching Breaking Bad. So we waited until he got to the last season and changed the password. PoeMeACup
10. Every Visit.
Going to college and becoming successful. She bags my groceries everytime I visit my hometown. I know its wrong to take satisfaction from this, but I can't help it. EmeraldEmesis
9. The Punch.
This kid on the bus in middle school always used to make fun of my friend for being gay. One day he was grabbing him by the hair and slamming his head into the window while calling him gay slurs.
So I tapped him on the shoulder and gave him a really bad punch in the face that didn't feel satisfying at all. But it was enough to break his glasses and make sure he never messed with my friend again so it was a win and my first real physical confrontation. lafleurricky
This kid at my brother's middle school once cut the whiskers off of a cat's face with some friends and bragged about it. Cutting the whiskers off a cat is like torture, leaving it unable to navigate and sense things around it. The whiskers are incredibly sensitive.
My brother loves cats.
When my bro found out, he grabbed the kid by the shoulders and head butted him as hard as he could, leaving the bully crying on the ground with a broken nose, blood covering his face.
Afterwards, my brother was known affectionately around school by the nickname "Head."
And of course he got in huge trouble for it, but he didn't care. SirMauriac
7. The Floooooooor....
We had a debate (for class) and I pretty much wiped the floor with him. Dude barley even practiced plus I was the quiet kid so people expected me to be passive. LateForTheTest
6. Waddle Away....
It wasn't my doing, but the girl who harassed me and hit me in the locker rooms after gym class got pregnant and quit bullying me... in the 7th grade. I still feel weird about the all-consuming schadenfreude I experienced when I saw her waddling through the halls of our junior high. foul_dwimmerlaik
5. Damn 8th Grade....
In 8th grade there was this guy in my class who just enjoyed mocking me. I was quite chubby, shy and insecure at that time.
One day he got my school laptop somehow and played a porn video on it in the middle of the hallway with the speakers turned to 11. He was screaming "Look everybody what (my name) is watching." Everyone was looking, laughing and begged me to take back the laptop from him.
I tried taking it back be he wouldn't have it. We had a small fight over it, all this while I was really embarrassed, sad and angry as well as people filming it all.
In the end I snapped so I grabbed one of his fingers and pulled & bent it so hard I broke it. I remember he left crying after that and all the kids around us walked away like nothing happened. He never mocked me again after that. Bonnarp
Signed them up for mormon home visits online and specified that they should be persistent. toxic_pantaloons
3. Sister got it!
Not me but my sister.
There was this girl on the bus who kept messing with her everyday. No one would do anything about it. The other girl got off first and my sister followed. She put the fear of Satan into that girl. Didn't mess with my sister again. LouTenant6767
2. One. Good. Shove.
My friend, but at the end of the year he shoves his bully into a door and the teacher arrives as he is about to fight back. Friend didn't get into trouble. Mr_Chevalier
1. Just Chew....Giphy
Gave him a stick of gum covered in laxative. He was out for three days. homerbartbob
If you don't have any experience with construction, it can be pretty interesting to watch those reality HGTV shows (I know I'm addicted at this point). Some of the best episodes can be the one's where they open up the walls to find the builder didn't do anything right, causing a huge blow to the budget. The drama!
As someone who doesn't know much about building, and is dreaming of homeownership, Redditor Vast_Recognition_682 asked a question I wish I had thought of first.
Redditor Vast_Recognition_682 asked:
"Home inspectors of reddit, what are some horrible things that almost went unnoticed?"
Here's some horror stories that shed a little light on the home owner unknowns.
Behind the closet wall.
"Going through a home with [the] home inspector, didn't find any issues, bring my dad in to look through the house too and he was [incessantly] checking everything. Looks at the Zillow listing with the floor plan, measures the basement, finds out the actual measurements smaller than the floor plan which led us to go looking in a closet and realize they finished a wall and closet around the old oil tank, never decommissioned it, never planned to tell anyone about it, and we would have had to rip walls out to get to it to remove it. It was a non starter and we walked away. So happy to have my dad's sharp eye while home shopping."
If you need a good prank idea when you're renovating, here's one:
"I saw a post once, this guy said his dad's house had a diagonal outer wall and he was installing a combination wall and bookshelf to square the room. Since there was a small dead space on one side, the dad (who was a doctor), got a life-size plastic human skeleton from work and tossed it in there."
"So if someone tore the wall out to remodel in 30 years or whatever, they'd see it and freak out."
Man cave mayhem.
"Not a home inspector, but I did ask our home inspector what crazy stuff he had seen over the years. He had two stories."
"He inspected a modest three bedroom house and found that were very strange structural cracks in the walls. The area where the house was built is primarily clay soil which leads to a lot of foundation issues, but these were really abnormal cracks. He headed to the attic to wrap up his inspection; it was located over the garage so there was absolutely no structural support there. He poked his head up into the attic and couldn't believe his eyes: the owner had a fully furnished man cave in the attic over the garage. It had a couch, big screen tv, weight set, and a huge gun safe. He said he had no idea how in the world all of that stuff didn't come crashing down through the garage ceiling or how the guy had managed to get the giant gun safe up there without some sort of elaborate winch system. He said it was only a matter of time before the house collapsed."
"The only other weird thing he encountered was a cistern (an old well) in a crawlspace underneath a house. He said he was crawling along on his stomach when he almost fell into it; it was left uncovered."
A rats nest of wires.
"I'm sure there will be some stories about wiring above drop ceilings. When I was looking at houses, I saw (not the home inspector) one once where like 10 different wires came into one rats nest of a cluster. To make it even better, there was a regular lamp cord that ran from it to power the hanging kitchen light above the table. And if you want whip cream and sprinkles on that.... the power came into that mess through knob and tube."
"I am an apprentice electrician and this comment just made my soul cry."
"I found an uncapped steel conduit with live wires behind my sink while remodeling. There wasn't even a cap on the wires."
"While ripping out our old kitchen we cut the old crappy countertop with a sawzaw, to our surprise saw a spark and blew a breaker. some mother f**kers who previously renovated this kitchen ran the wiring for a new outlet on the wall around the studs in a crevice in the back of the countertop...."
"My family flipped a house a few years ago. There were four ceilings, each a couple inches lower than the one before, and all but one had old wiring in it. It was like cutting into a weird lasagna, trying to find the studs in that house."
"Grandma was shrinking with old age, but her kids didn't want her to realize."
"Not me, but one I spoke to. Place almost passed, until out the corner of his eye... bam... jack stand holding up a beam under the house."
"Same with a house daughter was interested in. The place was a flip and totally redone. Beautiful. And down in the basement was a brick holding up a big beam."
This inspector had a full list.
1. "Furnace exhaust flue inlet at the attic furnace disconnected and a dead bird below it. Would have dumped all the furnace exhaust straight into the attic area. Obvious safety implication."
2. "Long time vacant house in a very secluded area. Reeked of cat p*ss and burnt plastic. No cats or cat feces in sight and no entry point for cats. Found small balloon in the corner of the floor where the fridge would be. Picked it up (with gloves) and white powder came spilling out. We came to the conclusion there was possibly the presence of methamphetamine in the home at some point and in some fashion."
3. "5 year old house, nice neighborhood, great shape, vacant. Everything looked good visually. In the attic, just after it had started raining heavily, a slight but constant drip was noticed from the roof sheathing in one area. Got lucky on that one. Sunny day, there would have been no evidence of any issue whatsoever."
4. "Homeowner DIY replaced the microwave and thought it would be 'clever' to run the exhaust vent into the wall cavity between the kitchen and adjacent laundry room. Just dumped the moisture into the wall. Mold city after a while if you do a lot of cooking while using the exhaust fan."
5. "60s house, well renovated. Range was a gas/electric dual fuel setup. Noticed broiler took forever to even start to warm up and never got hot enough that I couldn't touch it real quick (they usually glow red after like 30 seconds). Found out the range was plugged into a 110v outlet (enough to power the control panel and light) and not the proper 220v outlet (not even present). Oven was essentially useless. That one also had an incomplete drain line from a bathroom sink dumping everything directly into the crawlspace."
6. "New build. Got into the attic and just a quick 360° scan, something was off. Looking closer found a truss web beam that was completely gone, just ripped out (gusset plates bent to hell). Probably knocked out by the framing crews crane or something and they thought no one would notice. Time is money right? Lol"
They saved the day with this good catch!
"I used to work in a hospital, in IT. We were in a back corner of the oldest building. I used an out of the way stairwell, that had a 4 inch cast iron sprinkler main running through it."
"One day when I was leaving, I noticed a little tiny bit of water on the outside of the pipe. I went back to my desk, called maintenance, and asked them to send someone down so I could show them what I noticed. Walked the guy down to the stairwell and showed him, went on home."
"The next day I get to work and there's a letter on my desk. I open it, and it's from the director of maintenance. Seems that they shut down and depressurized the sprinkler line, and when they went to disconnect the section with the leak, the pipe just crumbled. They figured that my call prevented a major flood in materials management (which backed up to the stairwell on the floor below us) as well as a FD call-out, as the alarm would have gone when the pipe ruptured and water started flowing. The director sent me a very nice thank-you, and referred the situation to the cost-saving committee to see if they could get me a bonus based on preventing an accident."
The internet might just save homeowners on a whole lot of money by taking a closer look during the inspection. Thank goodness for this Ask Reddit post shedding light on the horror stories of homeownership and renovation mishaps.
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Unless you've been a member of the armed forces, you may only know drill sergeants as uncompassionate leaders who yell at privates all the time.
War Face GIF Giphy
"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.
Sometimes, it becomes extremely clear that it's time to leave.
That goes for short term situations like a bizarre social moment, or longer term commitments like work or relationships.
Whatever the context, there is typically a tipping point moment when all the variables appear to suggest things have become unsafe, wildly uncomfortable, or maybe even a tad illegal.
It's those moments when all you can think about is the door.
Redditor Thotus_Maximus asked:
"What was your biggest 'I'm out' moment?"
Many people talked about the times they went to parties that turned out to be very different from what they had in mind.
"Went to a friend of a friend's 35th birthday party. There were like 3 people there when we showed up. Birthday boy says everyone's in the basement. Okay cool."
"We go down to the basement. Someone's DJing, they've got cool lighting, there's like 30 people dancing. After a minute or 2 we realize everyone in the basement is like 13. Nope Nope Nope."
THAT Kinda Party
"Lived in a hotel for a while when I was 18-19. One day a bunch of people I've met at the pool wanted to go up to this dudes room and party. I thought we were gonna drink, smoke, and have a conversation, but that's not how it went."
"While everyone went up there, I had to go back to my room and change clothes. When I finally went to join them, I walked in and saw this dude injecting hard drugs. I sh** you not, this dude turned completely blue and dropped to the ground like a rock. When I saw that, I just dipped."
"He got picked up by an ambulance and survived. When I saw him in the elevator the next day, he seemed like a completely different person. Seein' stuff like that (that wasn't my first time witnessing od's), I think kept me away from the drugs that can kill you easily."
The Great Escape
"I was at a party when I was a teen. Cops turned up. I was stuck upstairs. But there was a balcony and underneath a pool. And beyond the pool a gate leading to an alley."
"So I jumped in the pool."
"But when I resurfaced there were already two cops standing there looking at me."
Other Redditors recalled the times they encountered strangers that did not appear to have their best interest at heart, to say the least.
"Was approached by someone and we talked about how we went to the same college and I showed him some of my art work, he thought it was pretty cool and offered me an opportunity and wanted to talk more later because I was at work at the time."
"I met up with him and his girlfriend and he told about what he mentioned. As I say there listening, it sounded familiar and BAM! It hit me. It was a pyramid scheme, it had nothing to do with art or any job prospects, I told him I wasn't interested many times in the nicest way possible l, but boy did they look pi**ed."
"I got stuck in an airport overnight as my flight was cancelled due to weather and I was starving because all the stores were closed. Some employee offered to show me where to get food so I followed him."
"He then opened a door to outside in the parking lot and motioned outside. I quickly said 'no thanks' and walked away."
And finally, some talked about when it became very clear that their work situation needed to end, like yesterday.
Quotas Reign Supreme
"I got buried by heavy packages while loading a truck for Fedex. It took 3 people to get me out. I was bloody, bruised, and had trouble lifting my arm."
"My manager came over and chastised me for my package count being too low. Walked out immediately."
Leaving Him a Stressful Day
"I worked in a contact centre several years ago. It was super busy and calls didn't stop coming. For some reason, my stupid boss removed everyone else from the queue for some stupid training, leaving me alone to handle all the calls. I messaged him a few times on Microsoft Teams, asking what was happening with no reply."
"After two hours, I shut down my computer and walked out of the company. I just recently withdrawn my last salary, so no regret whatsoever."
Corruption At Its Finest
"I worked for a blood analysis lab machine company for about 6 months. Hated every minute of it because I was working well over 60 hours a week every week. I wouldn't be leaving some hospitals until after 11pm sometimes. The management would never support the techs, the customer is always right, that BS."
"So one week at during the over the phone team meeting, the manager actually asked on of the younger techs to complete paperwork and submit it. Which is normal, but the manager was having him submit the repair paperwork and schedule the repair when they got around to it. He wanted the tech to pencil whip documentation we submit to the FDA so he could a quarterly bonus."
"Managers who's group hits all the pm's, gets a very nice size check. Had the tech done that and the machine failed before it was serviced, somebody could have died and he might have gone to jail. I left that job the next day."
Out With a Bang
"I walked out of a job two hours into a shift and left them without anyone who could do my job."
"As a parting gift, I threw the manual I'd written in the rubbish and didn't bother removing or giving anyone my passwords to stuff so they couldn't do anything."
Years ago I had a classmate who was a total daredevil... so much so that he would often injure himself. He once drove a bike in the direction of oncoming traffic, just for the hell of it. He got out of that episode unscathed––luckily. By contrast, I prefer keeping all my limbs, and still have them all. I wonder where he is now. Hopefully not too banged up. I did do some stuff unwittingly––like the time I stuck a fork into an electrical socket. I thankfully wasn't shocked too much. I was young and naive.
People told us all about the dangerous things they did when they were younger after Redditor Not-an-Ocelot asked the online community,
"What's the most dangerous thing you did as a kid without realizing?"
"My chore was to wash the floors. I would mix all sorts of chemicals together, not realizing they don't mix. Like bleach and ammonia with other cleaning products."
This is very easy to do––and so dangerous! Thankfully you didn't harm yourself.
"I used to walk..."
"I used to walk on a frozen river when walking home from school. I was about 7 at the time."
Seen too many movies about people stuck under the ice.
"We would sneak up..."
"I used to do parkour. We would sneak up onto the rooftops of condo buildings when they were washing their windows (the staircases leading to the top floor would be unlocked). We would then go roof hopping.
Literal roof hopping like in Grand Theft Auto. We would jump from a 12 storey apartment building's roof to an adjacent 10 storey apartment building's roof, etc."
How are your knees? That's bound to do some damage, no?
"I picked up..."
"I picked up a baby copperhead snake and gave it to my mom as a present when I was 6 or 7."
You must have really hated your mom.
"There was a railway crossing..."
"There was a railway crossing on my walk to school, and the train would often be blocking my path so I would always wait until it stopped moving and then climb on top of it and jump off the other side so I could keep walking and not be late."
"Played inside an old broken refrigerator that was outside….not knowing it could have locked or tipped over."
Yes, it could have! Thankfully it didn't. There's a really frightening scene in The Leftovers involving a character who nearly suffocates in a fridge.
No thank you.
"Like most Florida kids..."
"Like most Florida kids I swam where I shouldn't have and I'm very lucky I didn't get eaten by alligators."
"After seeing videos..."
"Playing with fireworks. After seeing videos of kids blowing their fingers and hands off, I would never let my kids play with them, without lots of supervision."
"We are super lucky..."
"Getting on a boat with my then-boyfriend and not telling our parents where we were going. The boat ended up sinking during a storm and we had life jackets and floated on the ice chest. Only reason we are alive is because a ship that was coming in heard us screaming during the storm and called the coast guard. We were out there for a total of 15 hours and had severe hypothermia. We are super lucky to be alive."
This is pretty terrifying.
Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.
Yes, thankfully, you're alive.
"When I was about..."
"When I was about 9 or 10 a friend and I rode an air mattress down a river. Neither of us knew how to swim and we didn't tell our parents so when we came back cops were looking for us."
Well... these were a read.
If you'll excuse me, I'll stay indoors and wrap myself in bubble wrap. The outside world is scary.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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