What makes someone likable? A smile, the way they speak, how they treat others? What is the quality you notice first? The thing that stands out the most when meeting a new person for me isn't simply if they have good qualities but how natural it seems to be for them.
If they had to pause and think about it to make a big gesture out of doing something nice they probably aren't like that in their downtime. The people who volunteer and do good deeds without posting about it, telling everyone about it, and just go on like that's a normal part of this day--those are my people.
Recognition is great but the people who do good deeds in private, those people typically have good hearts.
One Redditor by the screen name CremlinGremlin wanted to know the good qualities in people that shine through the most. They asked:
“What's something that makes a person instantly likeable?"
Be nice to the shy kid...
“As a mini-introvert, I usually sit alone on a bench during school lunch, with friends sometimes joining me. Occasionally, someone would come to talk to me if I was alone, try to be friends. I hate it, but my respect for them grows immensely." MaskedNavajo
The way to the heart is through the stomach...
“They brought me something tasty. My affection can be easily purchased with treats.” sosogos
“I always do this! I've been told I'm a decent cook so how do I make new friends? Stuff their faces with food. Their stomachs? Full. New friend? Gained.” smolboi99
Comedy Central Eating GIF by Inside Amy Schumer
Giphy
Seeing the beauty inside people...
“I have a physical deformity and everyone I've ever met brings it up instantly or makes fun of it, except for my current best friend. She hasn't even mentioned it once and she is the nicest person ever. That is why she is my best friend.” Kiaser_Wilhelm_II
“People who get hung up on trivial details aren't worth your time and energy. There are enough good people out there like your best friend to fill up your life. Think of others' rudeness as a convenient filter, letting you quickly sift through the rubble to find true gold. Never settle for disrespect. Keep on, my friend.” High_Point_Genetics
When they like to celebrate you...
“The person who remembers birthdays and either calls or treats the birthday person to a meal is instantly the best person in any group of people. We should all strive to be that person.”
"Pro tip. Put those Facebook dates right in your calendar. Within a single year, you'll have marked every significant birthday. I'm typically the ‘birthday guy’ in my circle of friends but I had somebody remember mine this year for a change and it made my entire f**king day. It's so absolutely worth the few seconds it takes to make a note for future use." TBoneUprising
This is a hard one for many people...
“The ability to be frank about their own faults.” Smooth-Revolution958
Beingkind when it's not expected shows good character.
“When you see them help someone in need while they really don't have to.” gargan_tua
“That's the trait that made fall for my now husband. We were on a bike ride and it had started raining so we were going fast. An old guy dropped his newspaper and then his cane when trying to pick it up. Now husband stopped picked both up, put them in the man's hands and told him to have a nice day before getting back on his bike like nothing happened.” iam_whoiam
“Someone who listens and shows interest in other people. It's hard to dislike someone when they're friendly and seem genuinely happy to see you.” deepthots20
“The cool people will be more likeable at first glance."
“A calm, happy demeanor. Being able to laugh at themselves or self-deprecate or not get pissy when people toss jokes at their expense. Smiles and warm eyes. That type of person will always do well in social circles.”
“Because they cause no static, no drama. They are just always showing off an appearance of ‘no stress, good vibes, happy go lucky, let's laugh and have fun!‘ That is very attractive in friendships.”
“No one likes that a**hole who gets all pissy when jokes are lobbed their way. Especially if they will roast other people but get butthurt when they are the target. No one likes a depressed sour puss.”
“No one likes someone who is already b*tching or getting mad over politics or always super stressed out and riding manic cycles... No one likes someone ruining the vibe and causing drama. Usually, you can sense it on people quickly too. When you meet people you can tell who is sincerely very cool, and who is not, for whatever reason. The cool people will be more likeable at first glance.” daithisfw
Being inclusive is important...
“When the person makes an effort to make everyone in a group setting feel included. I've always been the quiet and shy type, so I have huge respect for the people who find ways to include me in the conversation.” gabbykoenig
Be kind to service workers.
“Being nice to people in the service or retail industry. If I'm with someone and something happens at dinner or at the register and they're super polite and cool about it, then I know they're solid.” iBeleiveInSpace
In general, the qualities that make someone instantly likable are those related to being kind, being compassionate, and being inclusive. Qualities we all can be intentional about fostering.
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But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
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