Toxic masculinity is responsible for so much nonsensical behavior. Guys, it's not cute to always have to assert your dominance. All it does is exude insecurity. Plus, it costs $0.00 to not be a douche.
tokenbisexual asked men of Reddit: What's the most pathetic/ridiculous thing another man has done in attempt to assert his dominance over you?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
15. Two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time, brah.
I always feel like the guys who refuse to make room for you when walking by in the other direction are trying to assert their dominance and make themselves feel like hot sh*t. I never understand why people do that.
I figured out the best way to handle this when I was in college and the sidewalks were narrow.
Just stop walking and stand still. Now they're the only ones walking and have to go out of their way to avoid you instead of them expecting you to move.
14. Trump University athletics.
He tried to drink water faster than me - no one drinks water faster than me.
I heard if you create a vortex to spin the water out of the bottle you can drink it faster. I haven't bothered to verify if this applies to actually drinking water, but it seems to allow you to pour it into the sink faster, so that's something I guess?
13. Obvious overcompensation is obvious.
Literally last weekend some really drunk dude who I had never once met or interacted with tried to fight me (to impress the girls he was with?) It was completely ridiculous, and his way of trying to initiate it was just repeatedly body checking me on the dance floor which I ignored because I thought he was just being drunk and dumb. Turns out one of his friends had to stop him from blindsiding me with a sucker punch to the face (assuming he was able to aim that well)
Some people do not mix well with alcohol apparently.
I've worked in bars my whole life and this is very common. If you are tall you are a target. It makes no sense and it has nothing to do with the personality of the "tall guy" it's just what it is. It's even worse for bouncers. The mentality, which is probably subconscious, is that if you're an aggressive smaller guy and you fight a bigger guy it's win win. Either you lost because he is bigger or you won and took down a bigger guy. It's funny because over the years I have never had a problem with a big guy. The 6'5" dudes are fine, it's always the short guys who you have to kick out. People are weird.
12. You know what they say about protesting too much...
I used to tend bar in Milwaukee, and there is nothing that triggers self-conscious weiners more than seeing someone drinking something they don't like. I cannot tell you how many arguments began with some dude - always unsolicited/unprovoked, mind you - feeling compelled to judge and "educate" other guys about what they're drinking (or not drinking).
"You drink that piss, you p*ssy?" and it goes downhill from there.
No one cares. Drink what you like and shut up.
I was at a bar in Stevens Point and the barman whips out a porno mag asking if I want to read it. "No thanks.." "Why not? Are you gay?"
He looked as if I had offended his ancestors by not wanting to read his porno mag in the middle of a bar.
edit: Wow, this gained some traction! This was about 5 years ago, I was visiting a friend (I lived in London). In all honesty, I don't remember the bar and I've tried finding it on Google maps but had no success. We did the Point Brewery tour, then did pre-drinks, then did a bar crawl (because there seem to be more bars than London has pubs). Surprisingly the worst part of the bar crawl was some "traditional Polish" berry liquor shot one of the bars served.
11. Proof that we really are related to monkeys.
In junior high I remember this one bully that would get on his tip toes and bow out his chest like a gorilla and get all in your face whenever he felt threatened. It was such a funny stereotype maneuver.
A guy did that to my friend once as he was trying to start a fight.
He would spread his arms wide and push out his chest while aggressively asking, "you wanna go? Huh! You wanna go?"
Without a word, my friend grabbed his collar and pulled him into a headbutt, knocking him to the ground, delirious, in one hit.
My friend, in fact, wanted to go.
10. All masculinity is delicate.
A former coworker. He would just stand in the way and refuse to move. Even if he wasnt in the way he would purposely get in the way. I work in a narrow kitchen so you can imagine how annoying that could be.
At one particular moment I was carrying a bulky 20 lbs box and he decided to do that. I pretended to not see him and barreled into him. He fell over and got incredibly mad at me. Started talking about how I have no muscle. It was pretty funny.
It was a display of the most fragile masculinity I've ever seen.
9. It's not gay if you're trying to impress girls.
One time at a house party, a few of us were talking to some of the girls there and one of the guys randomly started talking about how he does MMA, then another guy joined in and those 2 started wrestling in front of the girls. I don't think their shirts needed to come off either but what the f*ck do I know.
Taking your shirt off is proper MMA procedure and culture. Leaving them on could have dishonored their whole family.
8. What a cheesy attitude.
This happened over DnD when my friend (who owns a store) let these guys we didn't know that well to join our campaign. I don't know why, I, out of the table got singled out but a girl walks in and this guy:
- complained that I didn't order pizza for him
- said 'how about you go f*ck yourself' when I asked him if he wanted some
- walked over behind me and 'playfully' puts his arms around my neck, I told him I'd punch him in the face if he did it one more time because I don't know who the f*ck he is.
Absolutely ruined my day.
Was that his way of trying to impress the girl??
I'm not entirely sure but he became erratic after the girl walked in. He was quiet right before.
7. Cagey.
I work in a grocery store and sometimes help unload the delivery trucks and our delivery comes in on what we call cages, like a 6 foot cage on wheels and obviously one that's full of toilet paper will be really light and one filled with 2 litre bottles of juice are the heavy ones. The lift that lowers them from the truck has that patterned metal floor and you have to pull the heavy cages hard to get them off, now Im 5'8" and don't have a lot of weight on me but I can pull these cages off just fine but there's a guy who's like 6'2" and is always trying to show how strong he is, so whenever I'm helping and he's there he always insists he gets the heavy cages and that I get the "little guy cages." Everyone agrees he needs to grow up.
Guys like that are great though because you can just chill and let them do all the annoying work if they feel the need to prove something.
6. How about a degree in minding your own business?
Talked about the MBA program at his Alma mater was superior to where I was getting my MBA.
For clarification, he doesn't have and isn't working on an MBA, but wanted to be sure I knew he was better because he went to a school with a perceived better program.
5. Oy vey.
I had someone stand on their tippy toes to seem taller when we where talking.
The irony here is that standing on your tip toes makes you look far less "manly."
4. Udderly silly.
So when I was in the 8th grade thre was this one kid who hated me for no reason, I was really big for my age, so there was no way this 5' 1" guy was going to fight me, so he did something so cringy I have no idea what he was going for.
I was sitting at lunch with my friends, and this kid walks up to us, and spits in my glass of milk and says in a very commanding tone: "drink." I just stood up and the kid bolted, got a good laugh out of it with my friend though.
Edit: to all asking what it tasted like, I did not drink the milk.
Edit 2: The kid bolted bolted because he was a huge pussy, never wanting to get in trouble, I'm not flexing by saying that.
3. Bro gonna bro.
I worked in residence life over the summer at a moderately sized college campus. The pay was good, but there were tons of broken furniture and even more piss-stained mattresses.
Anyway, I was good enough at doing this that I became sort of an on-site supervisor. The supervisor would tell us what building we would be evaluating/emptying that day, and then I would basically take over as soon as we left.
One day, we had a five-story dorm to go through, and ALL of the mattresses were due to be replaced. I told the group (there were seven or eight of us) that the easiest way would be to form a relay down the stairs. Two people would go to the rooms on the topmost floor and toss 'em down the steps to the next level, and then they would toss those down the steps, all the way down until the last two people on the bottom would put the mattresses in the truck. And then, every floor, we'd swap off, so people could have the "easier" jobs.
We're moving along ridiculously fast under this system. We cleared out a whole floor in just under an hour.
And then the supervisor showed up and told me that, no, EVERYONE NEEDED TO CARRY OUT THEIR OWN MATTRESSES because he didn't want "lazy people" on the team. In other words, he wanted everyone to go to a room on the fifth floor and carry a mattress down five flights of stairs to the truck, all through the day.
He told us that it was "an easy job" and then proceeded to make a show of lifting up two mattresses on his shoulders and jumping down the half-flight steps onto the landing. He did this two or three times, complete with loud grunts (to this day, I have no idea how he didn't get injured), and then berated us for being lazy.
He didn't make us jump, but he make sure that he stayed to watch us do it "the right way." We finished the next floor by the end of the day.
EDIT: I'm getting these questions, so I'll clarify here: the quicker we moved, the better. On this campus (and I suspect, many others), colleges make money over the summer by hosting summer camps. Residence life, housekeeping and telecom all have to move in a particular order through the dorms in a particular fashion and adhere to a very tight calendar. This building, in particular, would have had housekeeping come by the next afternoon, and I think the dorm was supposed to be opened to summer campers the day after.
2. He seems fun.
When asked about what his hobbies are, he responded with "Hobbies are for children and single women. I work."
"You want to know how cool I am? You want to know how tough I am? I'm so tough that I have no life, interests or friends."
1. Flying is fun.
Was on a 4-hour flight. In a 2 person row. The guy demanded to have full access to the middle armrest. Would push my arm off it if I ever got near it.
Oh man. I was in the middle of a three seat row. The guy in my left was some type of exec checking his work email on his laptop. Anyway after the first hour of arm rest jockeying I just ask him, "are we doing this the entire flight?"
He pretended to not speak English. The mother f*cker was reading his emails in English and pulled the No hables card on me.
He finally conceded the armrest after that.
It's highly believed that it is important to learn history as a means to improve our future.
What is often overlooked is that what is taught in history class is going to be very different depending on where you went to school.
And this isn't just internationally, even different regions of the United states will likely have very different lessons on American history.
This frequently results in our learning fascinating, heartbreaking and horrifying historical facts which our middle or high school history teachers neglected to teach us.
Redditor Acherontia_atropos91 was curious to learn things people either wished they had learned, or believe they should have learned, in their school history class, leading them to ask:
What isn’t taught in history class but should be?
The Irish Troubles
"The troubles."
"Too many people in America do not understand why a wall straight through Ireland would be a BAD idea."
"I’m referring to the Brexit referendum and possible outcomes."
"If people were wondering why we were talking about walls through Ireland in the first place."- CLCVS.
Forgotten elements of World War II
"What the Japanese did to the Chinese during WW2."
"Unit 731."- CaptainMcBoogerJew.
"Japan gets off easy for their war crimes in WW2."
"They killed an estimated 16mil Chinese civilians and another 8mil soldiers"
"Also, Pol Pot."
"Didn't know who he was until I was like 25."
"Worst dictator all time (in terms of percentage of population he decimated)".
The truth about the American Revolution
"That the American Revolution was part of a wider cold war type of conflict with France."
"The American Revolution was basically the UK's equivalent of the US version of Vietnam."- vinsant7.
The Dark side of Swedish history.
"As a Swede, I'd like to know more of all the horrible sh*t my country has done throughout history."
"It's a damn shame we're trying to hide our history."
"For example, Swedes killed a metric sh*t ton of all Polish people when we were at our strongest."
"That's the kinda sh*t we don't get to learn."- mogwandayy.
Colonization
"Basically what Belgium did to the Congo."
"A lot of people are telling me that they are taught about this actually."
"I'm glad to hear it because I wasn't taught about this in the USA during my public school days (1995-2008)."- EconArch.
The truth about "heroes".
"While teaching about historical Heroes they should also tell students about the unspeakable things some of them did."
"Many famous figures throughout history who are pillars of morality actually did many terrible things." - User Deleted
Intolerance for Mental Illness
"The dark history of mental illness treatments."
"I think it's worth learning about."- 7dayexcerpt.
Slavic Mythology
"Slavic mythology in Slavic countries."
"Don't get me wrong, I love both Greek & Roman mythology and as a person from the Balkans both of those cultures are part of my country's history and had great influence over not only my region but the entirety of the continent & the western world but I wouldn't mind knowing more about Slavic mythology as well."- ShorsShezzarine.
The truth about the CIA
"How the CIA was made and all the shady things they did over the years."- ALargeChip.
There is a lot about the history of our world, not to mention our own country which shouldn't be ignored.
And it's from learning from our mistakes that we really improve our future.
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So apparently we are in the endemic phase of this nonsense.
We have light at the end of the tunnel.
So what now?
Where do we go from here?
Normal seems like an outdated word.
How do we get back to normal though?
Is it even possible?
What are reaching back to?
Life pre-Covid.
Those were the days.
If only we could bring them back.
Redditor hetravelingsong wanted to discuss our new normal in this hopeful "endemic" phase. So they asked:
"What’s something random you miss about pre-COVID times?"
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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What do you believe?
Is there a GOD in the sky?
Is he guiding us and helping us?
Life is really hard. Why is that is a big entity is up there loving us?
Atheists have taken a lot of heat for what feels like shunning GOD.
What if they've been right all along?
Maybe let's take a listen and see what they really think.
Redditor __Jacob______ wanted to hear from the people who don't really believe all that "God" stuff. They asked:
"Atheists, what do you believe in?"
I'm waffling between G-O-D and nothing. So please give me some education.
911
"We need to look out for each other because help isn't coming."
cknipe
Peace Out
"More than 2 decades ago, a priest was giving a sermon in my church and he said 'our faith requires you to believe without question. Why call it faith if you have to ask questions?' I haven't returned to church. Not until my wedding day but you know what I mean."
asiangontear
Delusion
"When I was young I used to think that after death you would have access to a PC that you could see absolutely anything about your life. Stats, any question you had no matter how obscure, replays of moments, perspectives of others in relation to you. No matter what you wanted to know, if it was relatable to you, you could see it. I know it's silly, but as time goes on I just want it to be real, and I don't think I'd have any issue allowing myself to fall into that delusion."
eggwardpenisglands
I think nothing happens...
"Realistically, I think nothing happens. We literally experience nothing after death. Same thing that we experience before birth. We don't exist, so it's nothing. I think the tenant that we should follow while living is to try to be happy and healthy while minimizing the damage we do to each other."
"What I would LIKE to happen after death is whatever you believe in, exists. I think Christians should get to go to heaven if they truly believe in it, Hindus and Buddhists get reincarnated, and everyone else also gets to experience what they believe they will experience."
"'I would still experience Nothing. Maybe it's one of those things where at the moment of death their brain makes them experience what feels like an infinitely long moment in time where they experience their afterlife. I just think it would be neat for everybody."
Better_Meat_
Shrug
"Best advice I received from a dear senior on their way out. 'You win some, you lose some' shrug. Nothing divine, life is that simple and wonderful, accept it and move on."
Tune_Kindly
It all sounds pretty simple. Why are people so up in arms about Atheists?
Whatever
"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do."
imCIK
Cool with Empty
"Nothing. [Serious]."
rumblingtummy29
"I feel this way about death. When I was 5, my grandfather died and my cousin simple said, he is dead, that means you are gone forever. Everything ends up dying, even plants and animals. I'm now in my 40's and still have this simplistic view of life and death. People think I'm ambivalent to life and death but it's just what it is."
thepigfish82
puppet-masters...
"I think a lot of religious people struggle with the fact that we are all just swirling units of chaos. There is no grand plan or great orchestrator. I think that’s why people who are prone to religion are also susceptible to things like Q anon and the Cabal and all that. They REALLY want to believe that there is some almighty puppet-master who determines all of humanity’s fate."
Lngtmelrker
“we’re living in a society!”
"Just be a kind and empathetic person not because you’re worried about some cosmic justice, but because it’s the right thing to do. If there is some being that created us there’s no way they actually care about believing in it or adhering to some rules from over 2000 years ago."
"Also a big thing for me is that I find the idea that you need religion or the Bible in order to have morals and ethics pretty dumb. It’s pretty f**king clear that most evangelicals have neither. But my main thing is being a good person simply because, as George Costanza once said we’re living in a society!' If you’re only a good person in order to make it to heaven you probably aren’t actually a good and moral person."
conservative_genius
That's All
"You're born. You live. You die. That's it. After you die you cease to exist, the same as before you were born."
serefina
Believe what you want. We're all here together. So let's focus there.
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The list of what irritates me is endless.
I mean... breathing too loud or dust can set me off.
I'm a bit unstable, yes.
But I'm not alone.
So let's discuss.
Redditor Aburntbagel6 wanted to hear about all the times many of us just couldn't control our disdain. They asked:
"What never fails to piss you off?"
I feel like this article can go on forever. Let's get some highlights.
Wasted Time
"Meetings that could and should have been an email."
Sirena609
Lotto People
"Getting stuck behind people playing the lottery at a corner store."
thenuggetlover
"I also used to work in a gas station and you’re SO right. I f**king hated the lottery people. Especially since my store had a small staff and there was usually only one of us working at a time, which meant that I couldn’t get any of my other work done as long as they were there."
"And you’re right, it’s also pretty sad to watch. I had one lady who used to come in every day and spent hundreds and HUNDREDS of dollars on scratch tickets. One day, she won $200 after spending probably around $600 and she was so excited and saying she can 'finally pay her bills.'"
i-am-your-god-now
Aware...
"No situational awareness. Job, home, shopping, driving. Think for one minute and go about. OBSERVE!!"
Dizzy-Foundation8122
"My mom is one of those people who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the damn aisle and proceed to walk twenty feet away. After correcting her a million times to no effect I just walk away now so people don’t know I’m with her."
OutrageousEvent
Shut Up!
"Endless barking in the middle of the night, I love animals but that sh*t I can't stand."
Acceptable-Lemon2924
"Endless barking in general drives me up a wall. One of my friends dogs was barking almost an entire gaming session the other day. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack him for letting it go on."
bangersnmash13
Kindness
"People being mean to service workers, especially if the workers are very young."'
scaryboilednoodles
All of these things. I hate them all.
Admit It
"People who never accept fault when they mess something up. Like, why blame a million people when it was clearly you who did it???"
Quirky-Area-8978
From Above
"My upstairs neighbors."
lutzow89
"I had terrible neighbors at my previous apartment. It was a one person studio for students, but her boyfriend was clearly living with her illegally and he was loud."
"One night we knocked n the door at 3 AM because of the loud music and an unknown girl opened the door. I just thought they were having a little party. But the next door I saw the girl living there come home with a suitcase after having been away for the weekend... Her BF was cheating on her in her own apartment."
Th3_Accountant
Move Away
"People who sit directly next to me at the airport, movie theater, any other place where you can choose a seat when there is PLENTY of other seating."
BacardiPardy33
"I can’t YES this enough and the ones who can’t park for crap so they park so close you can’t open doors on one side of the car or the ones who park directly behind when you pulled through so the door won’t open to load groceries."
BacardiPardy33
It's Over
"People who try to restart old drama. Like I'm done with you, just leave me alone."
Tired_Potatos
"Yep, half the reason I've basically quit playing one of my favorite online video games. People keep bringing old crap up or sh*tting on on someone who used to be our friend. I got tired of it so I just ejected the game out of me."
CaucasianHumus
AHHHHH!!!
"People walking too slow in front of me with no way to get around them. It’s even worse if it’s a couple or group taking up the whole sidewalk. HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!"
_-v0x-_
Life in general pisses me off. I'm easy.
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