People Rant About The Annoying Things Others Do While Eating Out[rebelmouse-image 18354699 is_animated_gif=
Can you chew with your mouth CLOSED, please?!
All of us have pet peeves that stress us out about others' eating habits. Sometimes, it's hard to go out to eat, even with our closest friends, because in a matter of time we will be cringing in disgust from something minor. Or the venue we've chosen has something very...off...about it.
Reddit user waldo06 asked the internet:
Here's what people had to say.
Endless Loud Music[rebelmouse-image 18354701 is_animated_gif=
Loud live music to the point where everyone is just yelling so the music gets louder and everyone gets louder and it just doesn't stop... help me...
Pepper Control[rebelmouse-image 18354702 is_animated_gif=
I just want control over the pepper grinder, instead of having someone come and pepper my food for me. I won't f-ck it up if I do it myself, honestly.
I Don't Want No Sweeps[rebelmouse-image 18354703 is_animated_gif=
Sweeping under my table while I'm eating. I was raised in a restaurant family, and generally, sweeping during meal service is frowned upon as it can cloud up the air with dust and unwanted scents. Large pieces of food / small messes usually get a quick spot-sweep. But this restaurant I eat at every now and then has their hostess constantly sweeping when she isn't seating a table, which means she's often looking for something to sweep and it almost always includes having a broom under my table going across the top of my shoe. It's baffling. Rant over.
Let Me Eat In Peace![rebelmouse-image 18354704 is_animated_gif=
When the restaurant is very quiet and manager is oblivious to your social cues and just won't stop talking to you and just let you enjoy your meal. I like a bit of banter just as much as the next person but if you come to a restaurant with your other half to spend some quality time, there is a limit. (To be fair this has only been extreme enough to be annoying to me on one occasion)
The Waiting[rebelmouse-image 18354705 is_animated_gif=
Have a restaurant here in my town that is always crowded and usually has a wait to be seated. Apparently the owner lost it the other day because people were standing around waiting to be seated because they have no bar area or a place to sit while waiting for their table. He started yelling at the customers to get out of the way and go wait in their cars. If you are yelling at me and basically telling me to go sit in my car then I'm leaving and not coming back.
Cuttin' The Meat[rebelmouse-image 18354706 is_animated_gif=
Sh-tty knives. I was at the Weber grill and ordered a steak and it was delicious however the steak knives they had might as well have been a butter knife, it just made my initial impression of the tenderness/toughness of the steak all wrong. It happens all the time too I'm just so used to easily slicing into a steak or any other meat at home with nice knives that when the knife is tearing the meat more than slicing it it just feels off like it's a lower quality cut that I'm paying 3x the cost of what I do at home. I've honestly debated bringing in my own knife to places like that but I don't want to be that guy.
Can't...Reach...[rebelmouse-image 18354707 is_animated_gif=
Went to a restaurant with booth seating and the table was just a bit too far from the benches. I barely remember the quality of the food because I just remember being annoyed at how awkward it was eating there.
Neglect[rebelmouse-image 18354708 is_animated_gif=
When people let their children run around the restaurant. Not only is it annoying, but your child could get seriously injured by hot coffee, heavy plates, etc.
I Can't Believe It IS Butter[rebelmouse-image 18354709 is_animated_gif=
Cold, impossible to spread butter.
Chew And Screw[rebelmouse-image 18354710 is_animated_gif=
Waiting a long time for the bill. I just want to pay and leave.
Planet Mess[rebelmouse-image 18354713 is_animated_gif=
We went to Planet Hollywood in Amsterdam once (in our defense, we were living in Holland, so it wasn't like we were being tourists and ignoring better local places, but it was new and we'd never been there, so...)
They ignored us after getting our drink order and we had to get up and ask a few times for just basic attention, finally got some drinks, ordered food that never got there, left. Suuuuucked.
I think they were later taken over by squatting anarchists or something. Fair.
Can't Fit[rebelmouse-image 18351355 is_animated_gif=
When there's so much stuff on the table that you don't have room for your plate comfortably. I don't need a dessert menu, drink menu, regular menu, basket of bread, salt and pepper, condiments, menu of the days specials, silverware, candles, what ever else on a two person table. I can't move.
Overcompensation[rebelmouse-image 18352416 is_animated_gif=
Seating that is obscured from the waiting staff view. They either forget you exists or compensate by asking you 12 times during dinner if the food is okay.
Embarrassing Friends[rebelmouse-image 18354714 is_animated_gif=
When someone in your party has to complain about everything, and additionally make everyone else feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.
I get that you expect to have a good experience when you go to a restaurant, but if you have poor service or an issue with the food you ordered, be polite and patient about it. You'll get a better outcome from the staff when they try to fix it.
It's Called An "Appetizer"[rebelmouse-image 18354715 is_animated_gif=
If I order an appetizer and it comes out a minute before the entree. Or at the same time. Or worst, after.
Surrounded By Idiots[rebelmouse-image 18354716 is_animated_gif=
Having a ridiculously loud table nearby. If you all turned it down 14 notches you'd be able to hear each other and the rest of the restaurant wouldn't.
Long gaps between courses.
Someone at my table eating noisily (bonus points if they have their mouth open).
Wait[rebelmouse-image 18350535 is_animated_gif=
I don't mind waiting when it's a busy night but it gets under my skin when people walk in and ask for a wait time then get all mad at the person like it's their fault. No, you came in at 8 on a Saturday night and no matter where you go there will be a wait.
Natural Selection[rebelmouse-image 18354717 is_animated_gif=
Let me preface this by saying I live in Florida. I hate how the retirees ruin the service in restaurants around retirement areas. The restaurant will start out OK, but the continuous flow of crabby, cheap old people will run out any good waitstaff and they will all be replaced by second stringers who can't hack it elsewhere. So, in certain areas, THE SERVICE SUCKS EVERYWHERE.
Be A Friend To The Water[rebelmouse-image 18354719 is_animated_gif=
When the amount of water is not proportional to the amount of people and it takes a while to get a refill, seriously all I want is a glass of water.
Waiter Input[rebelmouse-image 18354720 is_animated_gif=
I had a waiter judge me for ordering a medium rare burger. He then told me how unhealthy it was to eat red meat.
Dude. Do you think I want a meal that's going to add ten years to my life? I don't eat out for a eat healthy. I eat out because I want too enjoy myself. Everything in moderation.
He also asked us to tip generously.
Insta-Slam[rebelmouse-image 18354721 is_animated_gif=
I don't mind if you have to Instagram your meal, but shut the damn flash off, especially if you're going to need about 30 practice photos first.
I'd Like A Button Please[rebelmouse-image 18354722 is_animated_gif=
Waiters walking up and bothering you every 2 minutes - asking how things are or trying to start conversations while you have a mouthful of food. After traveling over seas I was entranced by Korea where every table has a button; you push it and the waiter comes. Other than that they completely leave you alone. Every restaurant in America needs these.
Being Ignored[rebelmouse-image 18354723 is_animated_gif=
Not getting served. Twice now I've gone to restaurants and after being sat down the server never came back.
One time after seeing the people who came in after us eating while we had yet to get our water, we had time to fill out Google reviews before walking out. The owner kept giving our table weird looks the whole time.
As patients, we rely on the expertise of medical professionals to be able to identify whatever ailments we're suffering through.
We brace ourselves if we fear the worst, but oftentimes, we end up being comforted by a minor diagnosis.
But all the medical degrees and years of education can't teach doctors to practice empathetic, yet professional, doctor-to-patient interaction on a basic human level.
That has to come naturally.
Curious to hear from patients who have had disappointing or distressing interactions with their physicians, Redditor TheSpasticSheep asked:
"What’s the most out of line thing a doctor has every said to you?"
It's horrifying when even doctors don't have a clue about your condition and, even worse, they gaslight you.
"A gentleman I worked with showed up to work one day looking extremely sick. He was incredibly feverish, had muscle and joint aches, very lethargic and was looking very jaundiced."
"we insisted that he go to the doctor, as he looks like he is on deaths door. He told us that he had been to 2 separate doctors and the ER, letting them know that he has Malaria, and can they please give him some anti malarials. Both doctors and the ER insisted that it 'was impossible to have malaria, as Australia doesn't have malaria,' and that he probably just had the flu, or some other viral infection. And they are correct. We don't have malaria here. But, what they failed to grasp was that this gentleman was an expat who worked in Africa for a number of years, and has had malaria 5 times already. So not only is he an expert in what malaria 'feels' like, but he is also at risk of developing malaria again, even if he hasn't been to Africa in a few years."
"He ended up having to go back to the ER, and basically force them to run a test for Malaria, after which they were like 'oh wow, you do have malaria.' And he was like 'no sh*t, i told you that 2 days ago.'"
Not Going Mental
"I had smashed my face on my steering wheel during a bad car accident and was experiencing intense pain. I teared up when he put the scope in my nose and was told I obviously have psychological problems and if I went on medication it might not help my pain, but I wouldn't care as much."
"Finally found a good doctor and surgery removed the chunk of nose bone that was stabbing into a nerve in my face."
The wrong treatment after a misdiagnosis can be a doctor's serious mistake.
"I had a growth on my scalp a few years ago and went to see a skin cancer specialist. Who said it was a malenoma and I was going to need most of my scalp removed. Without even having a biopsy. He starts telling me to prepare myself for this surgery that will disfigure me. I was about 19 at the time with long hair. He started saying ill need to wear a wig and my hair may not grow back and the skin above my eyes will need to be removed."
"I was petrified. Went home in tears and absolutely petrified."
"Then my dad took me to his doctor, who took a biopsy."
"It was just a random skin growth and she cut it off then and there."
"Years ago, one of the sexual health nurses at my work told me she just saw a woman who very clearly had a scabies infestation around her genitals. She said the treatment was simple and that a cream was applied with almost instant relief. She said what upset her about that patient was that almost a year earlier she’d been to a doctor about the infestation, the doctor didn’t even inspect her and just prescribed her antidepressants. I was horrified and still am over 7 years later. So much medical gaslighting."
"Too Young" For Cancer
"Not one, but two doctors to my dad- 'you’re too young to have prostate cancer, no need for a biopsy, it’s just a bladder problem.'”
"He died 15 months later from an aggressive prostate cancer that spread to create tumors all over his body."
The "Sad" Pill
""While teaching abroad in Vietnam I was struggling with depression. The doc diagnosed me with homesickness and prescribed a box of 160 hydrocodone to take 'when I feel sad.'"
"I was 21 and this was 2007, way before pill use was talked about mainstream. Subsequent boxes were $12 each at a walk up pharmacy, no script needed. I became addicted for 6 years."
"Edit, as I have many people stating that pill use has been discussed forever: I’m talking about the point we got to where most people knew about the dangers of opioids, what the main ones were, the fact that they were being overprescribed etc. Had I heard the word hydrocodone and been exposed to the world and media like I have over the last decade with the spotlight on the opioid crisis, I would never have taken them. That’s the main point I was attempting to make."
It's even more unsettling when someone you entrust your life to crosses a line.
Assessment Or Pick-Up Line?
"Mental health doctor told my daughter, 'You're too pretty to be depressed.'"
A NSFW Observation
"Not a doctor, but a dentist. When I was like 13 or 14 he commented on my lack of gag reflex, telling me that I’m going to be 'very popular with the boys.' It took me a few years to realize what he meant by that."
Mom To The Rescue
"I was the opposite. My dentist said, 'If you always gag like that, you're never going to find a good husband!'"
"I didn't understand why my mom yanked me out of the dentist's chair, but I'm proud of her for that. I think I was 6 or 7 years old."
The Gynocologist's Love Advice
"Mentioned that my sex drive was abnormally low to my gyno, and she said my husband just needed to be more forceful when initiating and I’d get into it. Immediately switched doctors and never looked back!"
The Gyno Who Jumped To Conclusions
"Mine was the opposite. Moved and went to a new gyno that several women raved about. I expressed concern over my low sex drive (especially since I was only 25). The next thing I know she is giving speeches and pamphlets and trying to give me info on women’s shelters. I was so confused."
"She just jumped to the conclusion I must be a battered woman. No matter what I said, she was convinced I was being abused. I tried to reassure her no, my husband was definitely NOT the problem and he was actually quite good in bed and extremely attentive to my needs. It was clearly a physical problem."
"Never went back. She even called several times to 'check' on me. I get that some women may need this, but I mean there was literally no red flags, quite the opposite. It was weird."
Going to the doctor's office for any reason can cause a lot of anxiety.
Patients should never have their stresses exacerbated by an unqualified doctor giving them a false analysis or downplaying their concerns.
Hopefully, you're in good hands with a physician who is professional, as well as compassionate.
Growing up, I had zero idea that the food I ate daily was "cultural."
It didn't occur to me until I was a kid when my mother had to gently explain to me that not everyone ate rice & beans.
She had to explain it because we were about to eat at a white friend's house for the first time.
I've always been weird about food tastes and textures and mom needed to warn me that the beans I could expect would be nothing like what I knew.
They would be sweet, have big chunks of chewy pork (which would also be sweet), and would NOT be served with rice.
"What do you mean there's no rice with the beans? Did they run out? Should we bring some?"
"No, they just don't eat rice and beans."
"So what do they eat with their chicharron de pollo?"
"They don't eat that. They do fried chicken a little different and they tend to eat things like rotisserie chicken instead."
Y'all should have seen my face.
It's been thirty years and I still struggle with the idea of not eating rice and beans all the time. I've come to understand that not everyone grew up in a Caribbean cultural household, though, and most Americans ate from a whole other menu.
Reddit user remyleboi00 asked:
"Non-Americans, what is the best 'American' food?"
Even as someone born in America, it took a while before I got familiar with American food.
So if it's just not your comfort zone - let Reddit guide you to the can't miss dishes.
"Cajun food. Definitely the most unique American food"
"As an American I 100% agree with you. Cajun food is heaven sent"
"That's because of it's native American roots, fun fact Cajun peppers are named after the south American tribe that influenced the Spanish/French who brought it to Louisiana. Maque Choux is also a very native American dish that can be found in Mexico as Calabasitas."
They Are Fundesperate housewives eating GIFGiphy
"Curly fries 👌"
"Recently came across Carl’s jr for the first time in Istanbul airport and the curly fries were just the best"
"the fun thing about curly fries is that they are basically the same everywhere. I'm pretty sure it's one company supplying all the different fast food places"
"I hate to sound like an ignorant foreigner but a made from scratch Mac & Cheese with at least 3 different cheeses plus a crispy breadcrumb crust on top is one of my favorite American dishes"
"Mac & Cheese is such a favorite of family get-togethers that if you volunteer to cook it, your Mac & Cheese needs references."
"It’s especially good with some pulled pork and caramelized onions mixed in. And some insulin."
"Solid choice. We Americans LOVE cheese."
"No need to apologize. One of our favorites too."
Thankful For Thanksgiving.I Love You Cooking GIF by Bob's BurgersGiphy
"I'm from Mexico and we get spoiled with our traditional cuisine but I found the thanksgiving dinner experience in the US incredible."
"Love everything, the turkey (dark meat :) ), cranberry sauce, the stuffing (oh the stuffing), mashed potatoes, salads and the delicious pays that follow for dessert. That whole combination plus the red wine and good company is an incredible experience hard to match."
"We also get spoiled with your traditional cuisine."
"I usually get a food coma on Thanksgiving"
"As an American who loves the Thanksgiving and other holiday classics this warms my heart to hear from someone whose cultural cuisine is considered a full on cultural heritage of humanity by UNESCO."
"A nicely done, quality turkey with proper attention paid to all the sides, and good friends and/family is such a great experience."
"Same with the ham or prime rib dinner at Christmas. And all the pies. God I love pumpkin pie."
"Anything smoked: brisket, pork shoulder, chicken, turkey. I've even had smoked burgers. If seasoned well you don't even need BBQ sauce and it is so tender and juicy."
"I smoke meatloaf, can't go back to oven baked ever again."
"This tread has me wanting to smoke a brisket sooner rather than later."
"I love smoked brisket. I agree with you about the sauce. Taste the brisket before dunking in another flavor."
"Native Texan here. Agreed. The general rule here is that you never sauce beef. Let the flavor of the meat stand for itself. Hell, there are some places in Texas (particularly in Lockhart) that will ask you to leave their establishment if you ask for BBQ sauce."
"Now, pork and chicken, whatever else... Go nuts... Just leave beef alone."
"I had smoked mac and cheese once, it was heavenly."
Risk It Allhungry bart simpson GIFGiphy
"This is probably a recipe for disaster but I'm British and growing up visiting Florida I would love eating raw cookie dough from the refrigerator section"
"Cookie dough is so good that, given the option between not eating it, or getting food poisoning, nearly everyone will pick the cookie dough."
"It’s one of the few foods in the country where everyone knows the risk of food poisoning, and everyone makes the conscious, willing, and eager decision to not give a f*ck."
"All of us here in the U.S. know that eating the cookie dough is the best part of making homemade chocolate chip cookies. I have a recipe for brownies with a cookie dough topping. Cookie dough ice cream is also extremely common (it’s vanilla ice cream with cookie dough bits mixed in)."
The Holy Pudding
"I can’t find someone who’s listed it so"
"That shit is LIFE CHANGING"
"Gotta have the Nilla wafers or it isn't right."
"Ah, finally! A person of culture. Banana pudding is the closest food can come to a religious experience."
Cornbread!cornbread cooking GIF by emibobGiphy
"Oddly enough, no one seems to have mentioned it…but cornbread . Yeah , as a guy who moved here , Americans have got cornbread down to a T . Combined with some soul food ? Makes me smile on the inside . Gives me high blood pressure , but smile on the inside too"
"A nice warm cornbread muffin with some butter and a little drizzle of honey is amazing."
"Cornbread with a nice bowl of chili is such a nice comfort food."
"And the spicier the chili the nicer the sweet, buttery cornbread is with it."
"Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, at first i thought it was a disgusting combo, but when i tried i loved it"
"Interesting, most people in America are introduced to pb&j before we're even old enough to remember"
"Farmer’s market jam is the way."
"That was my most frequent meal in elementary school. I didn't realize it was an American thing until recently."
"It's easily top 3 greatest sandwich ever."
As American As It Getspulp fiction breakfast GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy
"I may be a simpleton, but an average diner with bottomless filter coffee, pancakes, bacon and syrup was my favourite part of the day. Although I did put on about 10-15kg after a month in Texas"
"I missed this sooooo much when I lived in the UK (grew up in New Jersey, land of diners). They simply do not do American diner breakfasts in Europe."
"My wife is German, I am American but we live in Germany. We took her parents to the states with us one summer on vacation and one of the things they insisted we do was go to a diner where they pour your coffee at the table, like in movies and tv shows."
"Took them to my favorite little spot, they loved the waitress filling up their cups unprompted."
Now that youve heard Reddit, it's my turn.
So remember how I said that I wasn't really exposed to American food until I was a bit older, even though I was born and raised in America?
I was 22 before I had meatloaf and mashed potatoes.
FAM. Fam. Faaaaaaaaaaam.
There is no greater meal for after a night of drinking than a good meatloaf and a nice herb and garlic mashed potato.
Keep your greasy pizza, amateurs. It's potato time over here.
Have you ever been caught in a conversation you didn't want to be in? Or start talking to someone only to realize you want to stop? Perhaps you were talking to a friend when the conversation took a turn for the uncomfortable.
Whatever the case, we've all been in those situations where we want the conversation to stop, but don't want to be rude.
When I was in third grade, I asked if I voted on American Idol that week. I said yes, since everyone seemed to, but of course I didn't know what American Idol was. Being pop culture challenged, I thought it was a ship. Needless to say everyone was confused when I was asked who I voted for and I replied, "What do you mean? I voted for American Idol!"
It didn't take me long to realize something was amiss, and I probably would've very rudely excused myself from the conversation (fueled by my embarrassment) if my teacher hadn't called us to attention at that very moment.
Luckily, the people of Reddit were willing to share their methods to politely end a conversation when Redditor Spritti33asked:
"How does someone politely end a conversation with a person who won't stop talking?"
Extricate Yourself Immediately
"When they draw a breath, politely say:"
""On that note, I must be on my way.""
Then, simply leave."
Couldn't Get Him To Shut Up
"Yea I worked with a dude who needed to talk. I just talked to him to be polite and not awkward. And I remember him saying "at least you're not one of those people who are silent all day". In my head I'm like, "FUCK, I wish I could be silent all day but now that you said that it would be even more awkward."
"At some point, I just mentally said f**k it and started giving him one-word replies. I think he got the hint because he started talking to me less. Eventually, he quit after a couple of months so it's all good!"
"But some people just need to talk for whatever reason. I need my freaking silence."
Put It In Writing
"I once worked with a man that managed to say nothing, despite talking nonstop. He would explain an issue to me over the span of 5 min. I would say "OK, so the issue you're having is x?" and he would say "No" then launch into a 5 min monologue about something completely different. One time, after half an hour talking with him I still had no idea what the problem was, so I said "put all the issues in an email so I can put it in the queue" and just left. Never got a coherent email either but at least a rambling incoherent email is easier to walk away from and less time-consuming."
Put Them (Back) To Work
"If you're in an office building with someone (or any location the person you're talking to has a desk), one trick you can try is walking them back to their desk, say something like "well, I'll let you get back to it!", then turn around and leave."
Taking Care Of Each Other
"My workplace has someone like this and it’s pretty much become a part of our culture to monitor who is trapped talking to her, for how long they’ve been stuck, and to rescue them after an appropriate amount of time has passed. She doesn’t get it, and probably never will."
Talk To The Door
"My husband worked with a woman who would not stop talking. Just wouldn't. So you'd gather your stuff, while she monologued. You'd say goodbye to everyone else, while she monologued. You'd walk to the door as she followed you and shut the door in her face while she monologued. You could hear her still talking to you behind the closed door while you walked away."
Take Your Turn
"I learned a trick. Most excessive talkers hate listening. So I simply participate and tell my own stories. After one or two stories they are usually ready to leave themselves to seek their next victim."
Create A Deadline
"My entire dad's side of the family are the type that never stop talking."
"The key to getting a word in is to just respond to whatever you wanted to add to even if they are still talking. It might feel rude but most people who are like that were raised in environments where that's the norm or in the case of people with disorders like ADHD and Autism, they most likely know they have the tendency and will roll with it."
"Best way I've found to get end a conversation with ramblers is to set a deadline as early as possible in the conversation (ex: I have to leave at 6pm to get to ______ on time). If you do this you can do the "I'm sorry I really have to go" and immediately leave without offending them because you've already set the expectation that you would be leaving at a certain time."
"This is why I hate taking Lyft/Uber alone, I seem to always get the folks who just want to talk the entire time. My boyfriend tells me to just not engage but when you’re in a car with someone it’s kinda hard not to. The ONE time I just wore headphones the whole time, the driver at the end said “maybe you’ll actually talk next time”"
No Need To Feel Bad
"People who are like this expect folks to just walk away from them while they are talking because that’s the only way the conversation ends. It’s not rude to them, it’s normal. So, it’s entirely okay to say, “all right this has been great, see you later,” and then just walk away smiling."
Sometimes it's hard to get out of a conversation you never wanted to be in, and sometimes it's equally as hard to keep your temper in check.
However, if you remember some of these tips and tricks, you may be able to successfully get yourself out of an unpleasant or unceremoniously long conversation in the future!
Death is a certainty in life, but what happens after death may be one of those mysteries we never solve. I've always believed that when we're dead, we're dead. However, there are plenty of other theories.
Is there an afterlife? Do we face a supernatural judge who decides whether we go to heaven or hell? Do we get reincarnated as soon as we die? Or is death truly final?
These questions prompted Redditor Maleficent_Team430 to ask:
"What do you think happens to you after you die?"
"I imagine its like when you fall asleep unexpectedly or go under for a surgery and you wake up out of a haze, minus the waking up part."
"I had surgery last year and, before I went under, the anaesthetist said "Enjoy the nothingness". And that was it. No light, no colours, no sound, just complete darkness until I woke up with a breathing tube getting pulled out my throat. I imagine that's what death will be like. And I'm OK with that."
Time To Sell
"My family sells all my stuff way under value."
"I f*cking hope that if i die my wife doesnt sell my Legos at the price i told her i bought them"
"My wife sells my record collection for way less then what it’s worth"
The World Keeps Turning
"I am no different than people who die today, the sun shall rise again and word will keep on rolling tomorrow just fine without me."
"Well in a few billions years the sun shall not rise again. But we will be pretty much dead by then — I hope so."
"It was always that everything goes black and you just don't exist anymore. My SO believes that you die and you get to live in your own little paradise and I've always loved the idea of that. I just wish I could believe it. It's also been super sweet to hear from him that I'm gonna be in his little paradise."
"I've posted this before but the idea of my own little paradise disturbs and terrifies me. Because my little paradise wouldn't be the same as other people's. If I say desire to meet my parents again after I die, the age I'd want them to be is likely different to the age they'd want to be in their paradise. Which means none of our paradises can overlap, and the idea of heaven is really just a simulation in which you are horribly alone."
The Next Universe
"You just transfer to the next universe where you didn't die."
"This is what I think about all the time. I always wonder if I have died in a previous universe and just transferred over to the one in which I am still living, but all my family in the previous one think I’m dead."
"I like this theory"
"You return to that state of non-existence before you were conceived."
"It's like falling asleep and not waking up. I find that comforting. The final I don't give a f*ck."
"Probably nothing, I think it’s probably like when we’re asleep and not dreaming. I was fine before I was born, I’ll be fine again"
We Will Live Again
"I hope something like reincarnation but it’s probably just nothing. Like we just end and we’re not aware that it’s nothing but it is."
"Careful what you wish for. Everyone thinks they'll end up as something cool like a lion but nobody thinks about how insects and bacteria make up some of the largest populations of life on earth. Maybe you'll be gut bacteria for some rat. Or a slug that a kid wants to pour salt on."
Whatever You Believe In
"I wish people would go to wherever they wanted to, like - whatever their religion teaches, they’ll go there. And if their non-religious, then they can choose whatever they want to a believe in. I don’t know what’ll happen to me but I hope to see my friends again"
"I think the same personally. I hope to to still be with my wife either way."
"Honestly this being the case would make up for all the unfairness in life."
"This is my dream as well. I hope so. I want longer with my friends than I’ll get."
I Know What Happens
"19 years in the business tells me you either go in the ground, in a crematory, a mausoleum, or you’re never found again."
"Have you considered trying a different business model?"
We'll Know Eventually
"What’s the rush? We’ll find out soon enough"
We may never truly know what happens to us when we die, but maybe it's better that way! I'd rather not think about it, especially if I'm right!