The labor of workers is what keeps the world running. As we entered into the pandemic in 2020 it became clear just how essential workers from even less glamorized jobs are to our everyday life.
While we had brief shows of appreciation and special weeks for different jobs, there are two basic things employers quickly forget would show the best appreciation of all—treating employees with respect and fair pay.
In my early twenties I had a job working at a fast food style coffee shop. The owner —former now— always worked way too close with the ladies in the drive thru. He did this so he could monitor us during peak hours. Not for our performance really, but so he could berate his female workers who had to use the bathroom anytime between the hours of 5am-10am.
He would tell us to not drink water before bed prior to an early morning shift and become upset if we stopped to get a drink of water during work. He would make comments daily along the lines of “I’ve never seen a group of women who have to pee so much” or “women must all have weak bladders”. It was humiliating.
To this day none of us ever figured out what his fixation with women and bathrooms was about, it wasn’t the time as we were always fully staffed. It was creepy and I hoped right out of there after a short time.
Knowing there were many other people out there with horrible first-day experiences, Redditor redmambo_no6 asked the question:
“People who quit their jobs on the first day, what was your 'I'm outta here' moment?"
People from all different types of work shared the moments that made them nope right out of the job.
This was a job , not volunteer work...
“It was a petrol station and the manager wanted me to work for free until I had learned their computer systems to what he deemed a satisfactory extent. I agreed to do it, because I needed a job, and he brought me in at 7am on my first day, however he was not present to go through the training with me, so I was just standing around kind of helping out on the forecourt but not really knowing what I should be doing.”
“Not learning anything. After about an hour and a half without the manager showing up or anyone training me on anything, I decided that I wasn't going to continue to be taken advantage of and told the cashier to pass on the message to the manager that I had quit.”
“...and pull me around like it was a leash."
“I was a waitress, the only waitress, at a just opened diner. The boss didn't have me sign any paperwork. Everything was under the table. But that wasn't what made me quit at the end of the night. In order to get me where he wanted me to go, he would pinch my skirt at my upper thigh, not quite the butt but very close, and pull me around like it was a leash.”
“Needed me in the kitchen? Rather than call me. He would come out, pinch my skirt and pull to the kitchen. Needed me at the cash machine? Again, come over to where ever I was, didn't matter if I was serving a customer, and would grab my skirt to pull me.”
“That act in itself, made some customers uncomfortable. Mind you, one couple left an almost 50% tip in the end. But I think it was more out of pity and embarrassment on my behalf.”
“I was supposed to come in the next day but I called that night and said the job wasn't for me. I came in a couple days later to turn in my apron and he just took a wad of cash out of his pocket and paid me then and there. God, he was creepy. I think it was a smart move to quit.”
They wanted the nanny without the pay...
“I answered an ad for a baby sitting job. I was already working on a casual basis but it was sporadic so I thought some after hours baby sitting would be welcome extra cash. The couple were both in the military and proceeded to tell me that I would be staying in the spare room and looking after their 6 mth old child around the clock as well as doing the housework.”
“I would have one day off every two weeks. They said it is cash in hand so I could sign onto the dole (unemployment benifit) to make up the rest of the money. I left on the spot. They wanted a live in housemaid and nanny not a baby sitter and they were not able to pay for one. Why they thought it was up to me to illegally collect the dole to subsidise them I don't know.”
“I imagined working my *ss off only to be told I couldn't have a chair.”
“Worked at McDonald's years ago in their Assistant Manager training program. Had gotten hired right out of the Army. First day I met with the Store Manager where I'd be working and training and noted that she spent the majority of the time doing entry-level work and then working OT to do store manager work. She told me this was pretty common because of the type of people they'd hire."
“Her 'office' was a counter and she told me she had bought a chair but corporate made her remove it. She was really nice, worked her butt off and was intelligent and told me she'd been at McDonald's for 10 years. I imagined working my *ss off only to be told I couldn't have a chair and decided that night I wasn't going to work for a company like that."
A searing response...
fez burn GIFGiphy“A long time ago, not long after getting my papers as a chef I had an interview at a hotel for a position in the kitchen. The Executive Chef and I chatted in his office for about 20 mins, at the time I remember him coming off as very arrogant which is quite common in this field, I didn't think much of it at the time as the pay was decent and the shift was what I wanted.”
“As I was leaving his office I turned to leave through the dining room (the way I had come in) which was closed at the time it was another hour or so before service started and he says to me ‘No not that way, go through the kitchen, you're not good enough to go through the dining room.’”
“I was so surprised by what he said, I just did what he asked without a word. Later on after I had got home I phoned him up and said that after having a close look I decided that his menu wasn't good enough and that I wouldn't be accepting his offer.”
Former Flat Earthers Explain What Finally Made Them Come Around | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
“...they got shut down after a riot...”
“I took a job at a lock down residential treatment center as I was desperate for a job. The interviewer said most of the kids were court ordered, and were a step away from juvie. The interview didn't go well so I was honestly surprised when they called me offer me the job.”
“The morning of training was going over all of the state and federal laws that governed the place, like resident rights and staff to resident ratios and the like. The afternoon was a tour of the facility where it became readily apparent that exact none of the laws we'd just covered were being followed.”
“I left at the end of the day and never came back. I had a feeling something bad was going to happen at that place. A few months later they got shut down after a riot that results in several serious injuries to both residents and staff. Glad I wasn't around for that.”
That’s got to hurt.
“I was 17 and working Pre-cast concrete. Refused to use a rusted ladder. Supervisor called me a p*ssy, got up about 7 rungs before his foot went through one, heard his foot snap as he fell. I called an ambulance and walked to my car in the parking lot."
“Me and 2/3rds of the rest stood up and walked out."
Season 2 No GIF by BBC ThreeGiphy“Answered an ad in the paper (this was the mid 90s) what seemed to be an office job making sales calls when I was in college. Did a phone interview and was called back for an in person interview."
“When I go to the interview I'm led into a room with about 50 other people and a small stage at the front of the room. We're all somewhat confused as to what is going on. Finally a guy gets on the stage and informs us that we've been selected for the opportunity to sell Cutco. Me and 2/3rds of the rest stood up and walked out."
“Anytime I see more than a dozen people for a job interview. I just nope right out. If it's not door-to-door sales paid only on commission it's some MLM. I wish some job interviews would be more forthcoming about that. Some places have outright lied to me."
Dig with your bare hands...what?
“Summer job working for a landscape architect. Got to the job site and he asked me to dig a hole in some rocky dirt. I asked for a shovel. He didn't have one. I asked for a hand spade. He didn't have one. He told me to just dig the hole with my bare hands and then he drove off to another site leaving me completely alone. I dug for a little bit and then said 'f*ck this' and left.”
“Had the job specified that I needed to supply my own tools I could've but it didn't and I wasn't going to work for somebody that expected folks to dig through hard, rocky soil with their hands.”
This company doesn’t like the U word for a reason...
Strike Organize GIF by Industrial Workers of the WorldGiphy“On the first day of working at Amazon warehouse the managers broke down to Everyone how a 15 minute break works there. Walking to the break room is 2 1/2 minutes. 10 minutes of actual break and then 2 1/2 minutes to go back to your stations. It took me 2 1/2 minutes to walk to my car and I took a forever break.“
“Some of the teens had set mattresses on fire in their cells."
“My first internship was at a Brazilian teen detention center (it's akin to a prison, but Brazilian law has some distinctions between crimes committed while as an adult or as a teenager - teens go through socio-educational measures). I was walking through a courtyard with my supervisor when some doctors came running flailing their arms and screaming while officers came running from the opposite direction.”
“I get pulled by my supervisor who just tells me to run back to our office. These teens as young as 12 had escaped their block. A few minutes later an officer comes knocking on the doors of the offices and yelling for everyone to run outside because a fire had broken out. Some of the teens had set mattresses on fire in their cells.”
“I didn't really nope out. My teacher did (she hadn't even been there that day). So i was forced by the university to choose another place to intern at. Oh well.”
Quit the bad management...
“When I was 20 or so I got hired to be a temporary floor member for Forever21 during the holiday season. My training started a week before Black Friday so the store was already kind of in chaos. On my first day of training, I walked in and the floor manager gave all the new hires a tour showing us the facility and layout of the store."
“After this, I was assigned to a veteran floor member to shadow and get an idea of what my job was and what my duties would be. As soon as I was assigned the manager dipped never to be seen again. An hour and a half into my shift my shadowee got an emergency family call and had to take off for a week."
“When this happened I found some other floor manager and explained the situation and asked them who else I should shadow. The manager's response was 'just do what you can by yourself you'll be fine, everyone else is busy.' Figured we'll ok I'll try…'"
“I don't know if any of you have shopped in the women's section of forever21 but during seasonal sales they will have multiple articles of clothing that all look almost exactly the same but with slight differences (ex. A white cardigan with 4 buttons that looked literally the same as a white cardigan with 5 buttons)."
"The best part was these different items were often placed in completely separate parts of the store and it was the job of the dressing room to return the unpurchased items to the correct section so the employees could put them back on the shelves. Well, these employees f**cking sucked and I didn't know if they were a part of my section or not."
"So I'd spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to find where they go before realizing 'wait this isn't even my section I've checked literally every rack' so I'd put it back on the sorting rack and move to the next item. More than 50% of the stuff I was told to reshelve wasn't my section. I just did as best as I could and got ready for my next miserable day."
"The next day I come in and the store manager pulls me to her office and tells me how slow I was the day before and if I want to keep working here I need to be very fast. I explained my lack of training and unfamiliarity with the store and she told me if I didn't know where the clothes were in sections I should come in my free time and memorize where stuff was at."
"I spent the rest of my shift putting clothes in random f**king places then never came back for a third shift. F**k that place and their management."
“I spent the next six hours giving everyone who came to my register 20% off...”
“I used to work at a craft store as a cashier, but quit when I moved. Ended up going back a couple years later to make some extra cash, but this time in the framing department. During the interview they swore up and down I would only ever be a backup cashier because I said I refused to have full cashier shifts.”
“First shift after interview is listed as framing, but I'm put on cash and told that actually most of my shifts would be cash since they'd found someone else for framing. I spent the next six hours giving everyone who came to my register 20% off of everything and then never went back.”
Call the health inspector!
dishes lol GIF by Disney PixarGiphy“Wasn't exactly the first day but I didn't show up after the second shift. It was a rather popular cafe chain in my country. I was hired to work in the kitchen as a cook along with another, senior cook.”
“Let's put aside the fact that I had zero cooking knowledge whatsoever, the senior cook was leaving the kitchen every five minutes to smoke. So there I am, alone in the kitchen, orders are printing FAST, and I'm standing there not sure what to do first, and the waitress comes over yelling at me to cook sh*t I don't have any business cooking, definitely not on my own.”
“Later on the senior cook told me they had at least two rats running around the kitchen. Showed me they pooped on a plate. I never came back and I'm glad the place got shutdown.”
The unpaid internship stereotype fulfilled.
“Got what was supposed to be a prestigious political internship that came with a security clearance and everything. Found out at orientation that the ‘part time’ internship was really 40-60 hours, unpaid and that no intern had gone on to work with the organization and weren't really given a leg up for other federal posts.”
“We were supposed to facilitate meetings with heads of state, coordinate conferences and assist the actual employees with composing published research papers for which we would not be credited. They were definitely drinking their own koolaid so I bounced right on out of there.”
“This restaurant closed down a couple weeks after I got that paycheck.”
“Applied for a job at my longtime favorite restaurant(celebrated my birthday there every year). The owner asks me to come in for basically a try-out, as I communicated I was looking at other job possibilities. I come in and they just stick me on dishwashing for an hour, no biggie."
“Then their dishwasher doesn't show up, so the kitchen manager asks me to stay on for their lunch rush, says I'll get paid for the hours. I do, kitchen staff was nice so I was happy to help out even though I figured I'd be taking a different job. I fill out a time card at the end of the shift and tell the manager I probably wouldnt be back, he understands and thanks me for the help."
“Fast forward a couple weeks and he tells me to email the owner after I ask him if i should pick up my measly paycheck. I do, she basically tells me to f**k off over text. Tells me it was 'staging' and that she told me I wouldn't be paid, I respond that I understand that but that I stayed an extra 3 hours which I WAS told I'd be paid for."
"She stops responding, I decide I want to be petty over the 40 bucks so I get the state labor department involved, dude goes in there and makes her pay me for the hours including the first "staging" hour. Couple of weeks later I got my 40 bucks, never went back to that restaurant."
"Edit: Firstly, "petty" is not how I see it two years later. I'm VERY glad I did this and sharing the story with others in my city I learned this practice was very common with local restaurants. Hopefully, others learned to stand up for their labor too from my small experience."
"Secondly, this restaurant closed down a couple weeks after I got that paycheck. The owner made a long-winded complaint on the FB page about how the food culture had "changed" in the city and her restaurant didn't fit in anymore"
Harassment...
“I was a cashier at Lowe's during college for less than a full day. I made it through the multiple day training but there was so much stupid stuff going on I almost thought I was on a hidden camera show. All of the employees complained about how hard they had to work while simultaneously not getting enough hours."
“Nobody understood why they were hiring like 4 new people (I was one of those 4). Turns out it's because they were progressing through a sexual harassment complaint that required restructuring of the store and firing of some employees. This was known to HR and explained to new hires (against company policy), but wasn't known to the employees, apparently some of whom still worked there, including the f**king person doing the training."
“She was really inappropriate and said not to worry about the sexual harassment stuff, that everything would 'go back to normal' soon enough and we wouldn't have to 'be so uptight.' They fired her the day before I started, along with one of the cashiers who trained me."
"She also offered me terrible guidance for the application process. They were looking for part-time help and two of the three days they needed help on I had off from school. I told them I could work nights most nights, but if they needed daytime help it had to be on those days."
"She said if I was too restrictive they wouldn't keep me on, lied to my boss about my availability to make me 'even more attractive than I already was' wink, and told me to schmooze them a bit and I'd make it further. She said in the end it wouldn't impact anything, and I'd get those days."
"My first week's schedule I was working mornings every day that I was in school, and I wasn't given any hours on my days off. Aside from the fact that I was given 2 times the hours the position called for (when other employees were shorted), my work schedule way literally impossible to consolidate with my school schedule."
"I only went to work on my 'first' day to tell them I was quitting and that their application process was a mess. They couldn't figure out how so much went wrong and then they asked who trained me and everything made sense. They thanked me for 'at least showing up to quit' unlike the other 3 they hired, who just stopped returning their calls and no-showed their first days."
Skeezy Salesmen...
“'Salesman' for Kirby vacuums. First sale call was to a single elderly woman who was supporting her son in hospital (they got us in the door by offering a free carpet clean as a demonstration). The supervisor training me pushed and pushed to make the sale until this old woman was in tears.”
“Just as she was about to sign the paperwork I asked if she actually wanted to vacuum and she said it was lovely but she couldn't afford it. I took the paperwork away from her and said not to worry. Outside I told the supervisor I quit to which he replied I would've been fired anyway. No love lost. I hung around for half an hour playing on my phone to make sure the supervisor left because he was a real piece of work.”
Extra butter was his last straw?!
“I wasn't the person but I was training a new guy at a movie theater. A customer asked for extra butter. She was nice and normal. Not a mean or rude customer. The kind I would pay to handle all day long.”
“He puts the popcorn tub down, says I'm going to the bathroom, takes off his apron and walks out the front door and never came back.”
Twice over...
“Two times. Once I applied for and got a telemarketing job. I didn't know what it entailed. After an hour I knew it was a terrible fit...auto dialing people during their dinners, trying to sell them stuff they didn't want, reading a horrible script while sitting in a soulless grey cubicle.”
“I got up, went to the manager, apologized and said it wasn't a good fit for me. He seemed understanding. Another time I attended a ‘make easy money at this job’ seminar and it turns out it was selling knives door to door. Idk if I technically ‘quit’ or just noped out at the end”
Abusing an employee's need to work isn't ok. It's 2021 and past time employers step up and do better.
Abusing an employee's need to work isn't ok. It's 2021 and past time employers step up and do better.
Small Upgrades That Actually Made A Huge Difference In People's Homes
Reddit user Super_dupa2 asked: 'What small upgrade made a huge difference at your house?'
Making yourself feel at home takes work but not as much as you think.
Homeowners, for example, are apprehensive about renovations because of how much costs.
Even tenants renting a home can feel like they're stuck in a situation where they don't feel comfortable because of minor inconveniences they think requires major solutions to fix.
Cut to this Reddit thread, where the ideas for affordable home improvement options were shared that may make you wonder, "Why didn't I think of that?"
Curious to hear some tips from strangers online, Redditor Super_dupa2 asked:
"What small upgrade made a huge difference at your house?"
We tend to overcomplicate things when solutions can be simplified.
Taking Charge
"Methodically buying phone chargers with long enough cables to not have to ever move one again."
– ihadtowalkhere
"I am a pretty mellow dad (benign neglect parenting style for 5 kids) but I have two rules. Nobody messes with my bedside charger and nobody steals my two pillows."
"So, as such, I make many, long chargers available for everybody. It costs me a fortune:)"
– nicktam2010
Hello Darkness, My Old Friend
"Blackout curtains for sleeping. Such a game changer."
– blehbleh1122
"And they keeps my bedroom cooler."
– BunjaminFrnklin
"Insulated blackout curtains make a 10f difference in my living room on hot days."
– TryUsingScience
A Cool Idea
"Attic heat exhaust fan. Our attic used to get up to 140F on the hottest days, and on those days our ceilings were hot to the touch. The whole house was consequently uncomfortable. Now the attic fan is thermostatically controlled to 90 degrees, and the whole house is cooler."
– jermleeds
"I added a passive whirly bird that does the same thing. Heat rises and escapes before it can accumulate to those extreme levels. It also happens to be clear acrylic so now there's always light up there too which helps keep away any vermin.
– cantwejustplaynice
No major bathroom renovations are required to make tenants happy.
No More Slamming
"Soft close cabinets and toilet seats."
– AreWeCowabunga
"We have a soft close toilet seat at our home and every time I'm at a hotel, I completely forget that they aren't usually soft close and the slam startles me 😂"
– PinkHamster08
Nozzle Upgrades Can Do The Trick
"A better shower. If you can't redo the whole bathroom, just replace the head. This also works if you rent, just keep the old one in a box, so you can bring the nice one to your next house."
– maartenvanheek
"I'm a renter and I finally installed a better shower head this year, after just using the default head in all my apartments for almost 20 years. 10/10, highly recommend."
– Am_I_a_Guinea_Pig
Perfect Welcoming Gesture
"My wife and I own a smallish apartment complex . One of the things we do every time a new tenant arrives is replace the toilet seat. I learned that trick from my parents who had about a dozen single-family rentals. It's amazing the goodwill you receive from a tenant simplify giving them a new toilet seat. We actually put the box behind the toilet so they know it's new."
– YouInternational2152
It's electrifying!
Think Smart
"Smart outlets for Christmas lights, both inside and outside. I have them scheduled to turn on at sunset and turn off at midnight."
– Revolutionary-Try746
"Smart outlets are one of my favorite purchases. During Halloween and Christmas, we’re using multiple outlets for inflatables, house lights, and tree lights. The smart outlets allow you to have everything synced so they all turn in at the same time."
– cppadam
Things Are Looking Bright
"Replaced dated lighting fixtures - fixtures are now properly grounded, the interior looks more updated, and there is more/better light."
– SnooCauliflowers9981
Energy Conservation Option
"Motion activated light switch for the laundry room. Never have to worry about turning off the light when leaving with an arm full of clothing."
– AmazingAsian
Creating an environment can make a huge difference.
Source Lighting For The Win
"Lighting can absolutely make a huge difference in the way you feel in your room. Get some shoulder height (when you are sitting) lamps for your living room. You will notice a shift in how much more relaxed you feel when you use those instead of the overheads."
– ShoesAreTheWorst
Home Art Gallery
"Spending a day mounting my artwork. It felt so much more like my home after that."
– GinGimlet
"Every time I've moved, I put that off for way too long, then finally break down and do it and the house feels so much better to be in."
– Triolion
One major upgrade was our VE hybrid tech water boiler and warmer we got from Japan.
The Zojirushi kitchen appliance uses VE, or vacuum electric, technology for very minimal electricity to maintain the water temperature at a constant 195° so we always have hot water at the touch of a button.
There's no more time wasted boiling hot water over the stove every time we want tea or the occasional instant cup noodles.
Game changer.
"Daddy's Girl, Daddy's Girl, I'm the center of Daddy's world..." ~ "Daddy's Girl" by Red Sovine
A lot has been written about the bond between fathers and daughters.
But there's always room for improvement, right?
And who better to offer constructive criticism than daughters?
Reddit user Bluemonday82 asked:
"Daughters of Reddit: what's the biggest mistake dads make with their daughters?"
Affection
"My dad and I recently talked about how he stopped showing physical affection when I hit puberty (20 years ago). He didn't know how to act because his sisters got treated inappropriately by others when he was young, and he wanted to be sure I never felt like that."
"It resulted in me never getting hugs or kisses on the cheeks anymore. He also didn't know how to talk about it in the past."
"But in the last years, he worked through so much of his rough childhood and really learned to express himself better. He apologized, and I said I understood and that his intentions came from a good place, that the only bad thing was all the hugs we missed out on."
"We hugged for a really long time after that, and we've been hugging extra tight ever since."
"So I guess what I wanna say is, don't treat your daughters differently when their bodies start to change. And always keep talking!"
"I'm so proud of my dad for the person he's become."
"For a while, I didn't wanna hug my dad either. Puberty was rough for me, and the adults in my life kept acting like it was just a phase."
"And I guess it was, but that doesn't mean it wasn't the most emotionally complicated and lonely period of my life. The feelings weren't less real."
"My dad and I struggled a lot. He didn't know how to express himself at all, and I was so overwhelmed I didn't know either."
"I also grew up with two autistic brothers who needed a lot of care and attention. I love them so much, but it resulted in me always looking out for them and never learning (until just a few years ago) to properly give space to my own inner turmoil."
"My brothers were never physically affectionate either. But once I got out of the heaviest puberty years, I did want that affection from my dad. For a while, male physical attention was a very complicated topic for me."
"A Christian upbringing also played a role in that cause as a young girl growing into a woman, it had a lot to say about how I should behave around men."
"Something important to add is that my dad's rough childhood not only made it hard to show love but also receive it. His journey started with the realization that he had no idea how to react to getting compliments."
"I think that's a thing that a lot of men (from his generation especially, but also younger ones) will recognize. Know that we are all deserving of love and kindness, especially from our loved ones, but even more so from ourselves!"
"My dad couldn't ever have grown this much without learning to really understand what that means. And diving into the withholding of love from his parents heavily impacted how he dealt with that himself."
"I'm so glad my dad and I could both grow and work through our issues. Even if he couldn't show or say it, I never really doubted his love for me."
"But I know he would encourage you all to learn how to show and receive appreciation! That man is my example for people never being too old to learn."
"I'm sending love and strength to all of you who struggle with this in one way or another."
"And to the fathers who feel like their young kids don't want their affection, just know that this will most likely change again over time. They might act like they don't wanna hear it, but keep letting them know you're there for them."
~ yuffieisathief
Showing Up
"The one mistake my dad made was not really being present. A lot of the memories I have of him are him watching TV or being on the computer and not having time to play with me."
"He always said he’s too tired or he’ll come play later but then he never did. So since we never really bonded when I was little we weren’t all that close as I grew older either."
~ katie__kat
Communication
"Getting angry for something the kid doesn't know, and never teaching it. Not before and not even after getting angry.
"Doing something you know upsets the kid on purpose."
"Slamming doors and stuff in the house because you're angry."
"Not listening, and talking only to make themselves look smart and great parents rather than talking for helping."
~ yoyuayu
"I'll never forget the time my dad saw me put something metal in the microwave. I don't know how old I was, but I know I needed to push a chair to the counter to even reach the microwave."
"He SCREAMED at me for several minutes about how STUPID I was and how he couldn't believe I would do something SO INCREDIBLY DUMB and was I trying to start a fire??"
"I had no idea you weren't supposed to put metal in a microwave."
"I did learn a few things that day- don't put metal in the microwave and don't do anything wrong in front of Daddy. Oh, but you won't know if was wrong or not until too late..."
~ DrScarecrow
"Didn’t have to look very far to find the description of my dad—especially slamming doors and hitting things loudly when upset while stomping all over the house."
"People always get a kick out of how jumpy I am (easily startled), but it’s reflexive from anticipating loud bangs/crashing that would come out of nowhere every day."
~ ouija__bored
"My dad had such a short temper. He didn't necessarily hit me, but I got spanked til I was 9 years old and then my mom told him I was too old for that."
"But whenever he was angry (and that was a lot of the time) he'd scream and sometimes slam things."
"My husband slammed his hand onto the table a couple times during fights near the beginning, but realized he was wrong for acting like that, especially seeing how I'd immediately shut down. He's gotten much better."
~ Educational_Cat_5902
Being Your Child's Bully
"Singing in a falsetto voice and poking until your autistic kid is screaming at you to stop isn’t 'fun' or teaching them to be less sensitive, it’s why they don’t ever want to hang out with you."
~ Redqueenhypo
"Making fun when your small daughter is having big feelings."
"I got so furiously frustrated when my parents wouldn't listen to what I was trying to tell them and my dad just loooooved to mock my crying or squeaky 'upset' voice back at me."
"It made me so f*cking hurt and angry to not only be ignored and patronized, but actively MOCKED when I tried to communicate."
"Now as an adult I don't bother trying to share anything with them."
"Another classic was when I was disappointed and said, 'aww, man' he'd scrunch up his face, raise his voice three octaves, and 'AwW mAn!!' back at me."
"So now I wasn't just sad and disappointed, but sad, disappointed, and humiliated!"
"Imagine choosing to be your child's first bully... 😞"
~ Not_a_werecat
Just a Girl
"Or from my experience—not even bothering to teach anything because Dad assumes his daughter wouldn't be interested because she's a girl."
"Worse—actively making sh*tty jokes about women not liking those things."
~ Cinnapuns
"Not having anything to do with their daughters because the dad 'doesn't have anything in common with a girl'."
"This goes double if a son shows up and the dad is really involved in the son's life."
~ Dangerous_Contact737
Puberty Isn't a Disease
"My dad basically bailed on parenting once I hit puberty."
"Like, you think I’m enjoying this? It would have been great to have another supportive adult around."
~ captain_flasch
"Same! What’s up with that?"
"I remember having a good relationship with my dad as a child but he emotionally cut me off and stopped hanging out with me when the boobs came in."
"I would be lying if I said that I’m past it and it doesn’t f*ck with my head still."
~ Pandapartyatmidnight
Know Nothing
"Literally knowing nothing about their daughters lives."
"Those ‘funny’ videos where they ask fathers basic questions—like what their daughter's birthday, or eye color, or school is—and the dads have no idea are not at all funny.
"I love my dad but he can’t tell you anything about me—even the name of the place I’ve worked for over 6 years."
~ Lazylioness17
"One year when I was in elementary, my mom left a comically large piece of paper on the front door for my dad telling him not to forget to wish me a happy birthday."
"Not only did he not wish me a happy birthday, but he somehow didn’t see the gigantic sign when he walked in the house from work. So I got to read it when I got home from school."
"Sometimes I think about calling him to check in but then I think of that (and other complete fumbles) and then I just don’t."
~ TetonsTeaTin
"When I was in 4th grade, we did a Christmas recital where all the classes sung songs. My mom couldn’t make it because she had work so she sent my dad with the camcorder."
"He recorded the wrong kid. Very awkward watching the tape that night."
~ myturtlebitme
The original poster shared their reason for asking his question.
"Wanted to add that I'm a dad of a teen and that motivated me to ask this. The replies are just heartbreaking."
"I'm reading every single reply and I really hope all the dads and parents and basically everyone is learning something."
~ Bluemonday82
"Dad of an almost 4 year old daughter with two older brothers…. I’m scouring this post like there is cash on it somewhere."
~ Feeling_Advantage108
"I’m doing the same thing, stepdad that adores both my boy and girl. Couldn’t have kids myself. Searching for gold on this thread."
~ Numbthumbz
And the daughters appreciated it.
"This is healing my younger self—knowing that there are fathers trying to do right by their young girls.
"I'm 25 now and I think if he just would have asked me how I was doing (and meant it) it would have changed me a lot."
~ Loniceraa
"Same. My father was cartoonishly selfish, strict, controlling and mostly only saw me as a pretty, obedient mirror born to reflect his glory. What I thought, felt, liked, or wanted mattered very little and we seldom had what I would call 'real' conversations."
"Reading the posts of all the good fathers in this thread has been wonderful."
"I'm so happy there are tons of little girls out there with fathers who want to know them and see them for who they really are, who want to teach them things and bond with them."
"My father never wanted to get to know the real me, which is a shame because I'm a f*cking delight."
~ insolentpopinjay
As the OP stated, hopefully everyone has used this opportunity to learn something.
Is there anything you would add?
People Explain Which Things They'll Never Tell Their Significant Other About
Full disclosure at all times with your significant other, right?
Yeah, good luck with that.
Let's get real—there are things we don't tell our partners for a lot of reasons.
Sometimes you just don't feel like having to explain something that doesn't really affect them.
Sometimes you're protecting them from something that will have a devastating effect on them.
These are probably going to be more that second one...
Reddit user Janine_18 asked:
"What's the one thing you'll never tell your SO?"
Love/Hate Relationship
"She loves her siblings and hates her parents."
"I hate her siblings and love her parents."
"They were very tight with their parents for the first 3 years of our relationship, and in 2017-2018 all hell broke loose so to say. My partner has no personal animus towards her parents, she is however extremely close to her older sibling who has a heap of problems with their parents."
"My partner follows their lead and it guides her own relationship with their parents. And the reason her siblings have huge problems with their parents is that they retired, moved 20(!) whole minutes away from their childhood home and went on a vacation for a month.
"They are apparently 'selfish', 'inconsiderate', and 'don’t think of themselves as parents'. This despite the fact that they call and visit for every holiday, birthday, promotion, celebration of any kind. Dog and babysit. Frequently host. Communicate well."
"No the absolute truth is that my partner's siblings are black holes and not great."
"Would 'I radically dislike your one sibling and don’t trust the other at all” be a viable middle ground?'."
~ Agreed_fact
Sweet Tooth
"A few years ago, my girlfriend put a candy bowl in our hallway at our apartment for Halloween. She came home that day to discover that nobody took any candy, and she was a little bummed."
"Over the course of that week, I'd take candy out before work or when she was asleep."
"She got so happy that 'the neighbors loved the candy'. She does this every year now, and I have to continuously swipe the candy and pretend it is the neighbors."
"It makes her happy, and I get free candy. Win win."
~ AlecsWebHair
GiphyIn It For the House
"That I know she cheated on me and the only reason I haven't left her is because the mortgage interest rates are a bit high so I can't comfortably buy her half of the equity we have in the house."
"I got a valuation, a mortgage pre-approval, and a lawyer all ready to go... But would only have about $21 per week to spare... I'd be screwed the first time a major appliance or the car breaks down..."
~ H_He_Metals
Mommy Dearest
"That her mother is a bad person in disguise of a caring and beloved figure."
~ Relative_Rich8169
"My pet name for my girlfriend is Bambi."
"She thinks it's because has big brown eyes, but really it's because I want to shoot her mother with a rifle."
~ airblizzard
Giphy"That's my mother in law. For her daughter, she'll do anything... to the point that it's overbearing and controlling and difficult to deal with."
"And for everyone else, she is one of the least empathetic people I've ever met..."
"She CRIED when Rush Limbaugh died, and she literally said the Proud Boys are like the Boy Scouts. But she'll drop $2,000 on Christmas presents for one person like it's nothing, so she thinks she's owed respect and kind words."
"I literally had to tell her at one point, 'If you want me to stop calling you a Nazi, buying me more presents or arguing with me isn't going to do it, you have to stop saying Nazi-friendly sh*t'. But she didn't stop, of course."
"She thought COVID was no big deal until a family member died of it."
"She also makes tons of snide comments about my work. I'm a lawyer in Big Law, I make great money but it's soul sucking and I never wanted to do this forever, I want to work for the government."
"She'll see a postal worker and say 'That'll be you one day, government worker, not a great way to provide for my daughter'."
"Her daughter, my wife, is a DOCTOR who is going to make more than I do no matter what job I work, and she herself is a dentist who worked until her banker husband could retire at the same time as her."
"She talks sh*t about how I made her daughter an atheist (I didn't, she did that on her own), but she herself has NEVER read the Bible and hasn't been to church in 20 years."
"She unironically believes in aliens, Big Foot, and ghosts, and thinks she saw Mother Mary in the sky."
"All the bad things I tend to think about Republicans (they don't care about an issue until it personally affects them, they have no standards except double standards, they use religion as a cudgel but don't actively live a spiritual life, they believe insane sh*t with zero evidence, they're old fashioned and judgy and can't accept that the world is changing around them, etc...) is her to the letter."
~ 2Charming-Fig-2544
Magic the Retirement Fund
"How much my Magic the Gathering collection is worth."
"They'll absolutely try to get me to sell some of it."
"It's my precious."
~ Ganthamus_prime
GiphyFirst Impressions
"When he and I first met, I was CERTAIN he was gay."
"He is very much NOT gay."
"And he will NEVER know I ever thought this."
~ ShinyIrishNarwhal
No Llama Drama
"When me and my wife first started dating, I had a dumb canvas painting with a llama and rabbit on it that I found at Walmart. I showed it to her and told her how much I loved it just because it was just such a dumb random thing to find."
"For some reason she took that as I love llamas and that they are my favorite animal. So now, every time she sees one or something with a llama on it I see her brighten up to show me and I get excited with her!"
"Llamas are not my favorite animal. Never have been. I don’t know how she made this connection, but i will never tell her otherwise because seeing her face light up every time is way better."
~ WhereTheChapstickAt
GiphyRelationship by Google
"I spend a couple hours doing research on how to make relationships work and keep her happy in the long run."
"She thinks I'm this awesome perfect guy but I just do what the internet tells me."
~ BadRobot___
Chemical Warfare
"He thinks I don’t fart around him because I’m too shy or polite."
"It’s really because they are so bad they could kill a horse."
~ Neonpantsuit
GiphyAre There Raisins?
"I don't like the potato salad she makes, and she always tries to make it as a treat for me."
"It's my mom's recipe, but doesn't taste like mom's."
~ Bean_Juice_Brew
*yawn* 🥱
"The spot you make me sleep in on the bed is uncomfortable but I lay there because you're comfortable where you are."
~ legacyrisky
GiphyConfessions
"We’re both in college, and last semester we both had a cold at some point. He had it much, much worse than I did, so I went to class and he skipped."
"Afterwards, I went to his dorm to share notes and take a nap. I was almost asleep, and I’m assuming he thought I was, because I felt him squeeze me and whisper, 'I love you so f**king much'.”
"It was the sweetest thing ever and I’m never telling him I know he did that."
~ scorpiomooon
Maybe a Farm Upstate?
"I definitely didn't kill that massive spider, and I have no idea where it went."
~ Cothak88
GiphySo, these weren't too awful, right?
What secrets are you keeping?
People's Wildest 'WTF Is Wrong With You?' Experiences
We all have that moment where someone we know says something so completely absurd, the only response we think of is 'WTF is wrong with you?'
Sometimes, it's something woefully inaccurate that you can't wrap your head around the fact that someone believes that.
Othertimes, it's something completely offensive and you regret your association with that person.
My college roommate was a girl I knew from my high school. I didn't know her too well, but we had some big things in common, so I figured it'd be fun to live with her.
This girl was half-Korean and talked a lot about racist people. At first, I let her rant, figuring maybe she or someone in her family faced some racism. I faced some myself, and I agreed with most of the things she said about racists. Eventually, however, I realized she was equating the word 'racist' with the word 'white.'
I spoke to her once, telling her she can't use 'racist' and 'white' interchangeably. She agreed to stop doing that, but within a few days, she started doing it again. She was a very bright girl, so I was a little concerned about this, especially since her own dad was white and was possibly the nicest man in the world. Not to mention, this made her and her siblings half-white too. Did that mean they were all half-racist?
I stuck by her for a while, but when she started saying things about what she wanted to do to racist people (once again using the word 'white' instead of 'racist'), I realized I couldn't be around her anymore. She couldn't talk about anything else after a while, and every time she spoke, I wanted to say, 'WTF is wrong with you?'
We did not room together the next year.
Redditors have stories similar to mine (and some even crazier), and they are eager to share.
It all started when a Redditorasked:
How To End A Friendship
"In college I used to kill time between classes hanging out with a guy who was from the same redneck county as myself. We didn’t really have much else in common, but he was nice enough and seemed eager to socialize so I figured why not. I wasn’t overly social myself and didn’t know a whole lot of people."
"One day we decided to go somewhere off-campus, and he drove us. While driving, on an interstate mind you, he proceeds to show me his handgun that he kept in his truck - not in a menacing way, but in a “Ain’t that cool?” way."
"I was not immediately frightened, but I respect firearms enough to recognize we are going like 60-70mph on an interstate in daylight, and nothing good can happen in this scenario. I calmly asked him to put it away because I was not comfortable in this situation at all. He then tells me “Oh it’s not loaded” and presses the gun to his head before pulling the trigger."
"Thank f**k he was right, but still it was a wild and frightening display of reckless disregard for his own life and mine for that matter in the event that he’d accidentally killed himself while driving us. I didn’t hang out with him much after that, certainly didn’t get in a car with him."
– omjf23
"“It’s not loaded” famous last words of many an idiot."
– GloInTheDarkUnicorn
The Worst Kind Of People
"When my dad was in the nursing home, they weren't running certain expenses, like ambulance rides, through his insurance. When I took over his financials, he was tens of thousands in medical debt that shouldn't have ever been charged to him in the first place. He was in numerous collections, and his credit score was tanked."
"When I complained to the nursing home director, he said, "Well, it's not like he's going to be buying a house or a car!" Then he laughed."
"My dad was paralyzed from the waist down and needed lifelong care, so he was never going to leave the nursing home. Even though he was technically correct, I gave him the "WTF is wrong with you look." Then I complained to HIS boss and he got canned a couple a weeks later. My dad's insurance was fixed pretty quick, too."
– MNWNM
"“Sorry, what was funny about that? Could you please explain.”"
– v3n0mat3
...Seriously?
"MIL told my wife she should divorce me bc I googled whether a lasagna should be covered with foil while cooking."
– Struggle-Silent
"This is my first laugh of the thread lmao wtf."
– koreantrvp
"It actually ruined this entire trip. It was at my BIL’s wedding, which was only close family (siblings + parents) and they had the caterer make a lasagna for an evening dinner."
"Father of the bride was gonna pop it in the oven and asked if it should be covered. I googled lasagna cooking instructions and said yes it should be covered and cooked at this temp. MIL said absolutely not!"
"Me and the father of the bride kinda gave each other a look and he covered it. MIL was furious and texted my wife that I was an a hole and she should divorce me before we had kids."
– Struggle-Silent
Hostile Work Environment
"Boss at old job told the team we needed to ‘get used to a healthy level of conflict, fear and anxiety in the workplace.’ I dipped so fast after that."
– Prestigious-Energy69
"Similarly, a boss told me that I owed him my loyalty because he was paying me."
– Kylearean
How To End A Relationship
"A girl I was with while we were still together just looked at me while I was driving to her house and said.” You know I would get over you faster than you’d get over me” I was like …… Tf did you just say?"
– omega91301
"Huh. And just like that I'm over you."
– Pineapple_Spenstar
"Honestly, that would absolutely do it for me. When I was younger, I would be stupid and hurt and argue. I'm past 50 and I got no time for that nonsense."
– Terpsichorean_Wombat
There Are Other Ways To Stave Off Boredom
"I was DD for some buddies who wanted to go to a particular dance club in Baltimore. They're all hammered, it's too loud and we've been there for several hours. Casually an older woman next to me chats me up and notices my eyes are nearly crossing from boredom. I explained what I was doing there and casually (stupidly) mentioned I'm a bit bored. This psycho BITES ME on the chest! Afterward says "Well ya ain't bored now, are ya??""
– Mike7676
"Well, were you bored after that?"
– DontWannaSayMyName
"I must say, I was not!"
– Mike7676
That Goes Both Ways!
"I'm a man who works with kids, and when I started this job, I was talking to one of my old coworkers about how every once in a while I'll get weird looks for being a man working with kids and my coworker said I deserved it because some men can't be trusted with kids. I was shocked and she went on to say that I did it to myself and deserve to be questioned about it. I immediately stopped talking to her."
– Dolhedew
"What? What in the actual f**k? Doesn’t she know there are women who can’t be trusted with kids?"
– Anonymoosehead123
That Escalated Quickly
"The lady that accused my kids of cutting the line. (They hadn't, I was watching). When I went to ask her what was wrong, she told me to go back to my own country with that sh*t. (I was born in Massachusetts.)"
"The line was to pet dogs at a Renaissance Fair."
– pasafa
Everything All At Once
"While alone with a coworker, he told me that "women in the work place will lead to the decay of the fabric of society" to me. A woman. He also asked me out, got an attitude when I didn't say yes and continues to walk around with huge incel energy. He always complains that he has no one to go home to yet refuses to look at himself as a possible reason."
– Nopeferatu31
"Sounds like they should learn something from the phrase, "if you meet one a**hole, they're the a**hole. If everyone you meet is an a**hole, you're the a**hole.""
– tmpope123
Ouch!
"I told a coworker my wife had died."
"Her response: "You're one of those bald middle aged guys with a dead wife.""
"Me: "Yeah.""
– WalrusCello
"I want to think this was a wholesome thought that came out wrong. An awkward attempt at dark humor."
– ThisUsernameIsTook
*Cringing*
"Had an otherwise normal co-worker who was completely convinced windmills will cause the earth to stop spinning."
– Shadowmant
"WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!"
– Torvaun
These are all crazy 'WTF is wrong with you' stories, but that last one blew my mind in 'how is it possible people think that could be true' sort of way!